美国极致的个人主义有多凉薄？15 岁少女触发生存斩杀线，因小事被亲妈扫地出门无家可归！

@killingfloor42
Not sure what country you are in, but it might be illegal to kick you out of the house as a minor. Is your dad an option? If in school, I'd talk to a counselor or a trusted adult to help guide you through this.
 
不确定你在哪个国家，但未成年人被赶出家门很可能是违法的。你爸爸那边能求助吗？如果还在上学，一定要找辅导员或信得过的成年人帮你想办法。
 
@maddhatter99
US here. My mother kicked me out at 15, I called DCS and they said because I was male they couldn’t help. I was homeless for 2 years before I could get an apartment. That was in the 90’s. Times were more simple then. I was able to work at Starbucks, and showered at a campground. It made me the strong, independent, if not cynical human I am today.
 
我在美国。15 岁时也被我妈赶出去过，我打电话给儿童保护服务局（DCS），他们说因为我是男孩，没法帮我。我无家可归了两年才攒钱租到公寓。不过那是 90 年代的事了，当时世道还简单点，我能在星巴克打工，去露营地洗澡。这段经历让我变成了现在这样 —— 坚强、独立，但也难免有些愤世嫉俗。
 
@earthspirit1147
Female here - kicked out at 16 - authorities said they couldn't help unless I was pregnant! I was also homeless for 2 years before I could get an apartment. Late 90s/early 2000s. I am starting to think they just didn't want to help anyone!
 
我是女生，16 岁被赶出家门。当局说除非我怀孕了，否则没法帮我！我也无家可归了两年才找到住处，那是 90 年代末 2000 年代初的事。我现在都觉得，他们根本就不想帮任何人！
 
@Stayfocusedbitch
Obviously everyone is telling you to call the police/cps because this is indeed illegal, but there is another reason you need to call as soon as possible. There is a very strong chance your mom will calm down at some point and realize she could actually get in trouble for this or just want you back. She will call the police and report you as a runaway. You need to call first, so that you control the narrative. I've had a couple friends that grew up like this. They'd get kicked out, then the police would get called on them as a runaway. Wash and repeat every few weeks/months. This can also get anyone you are staying with in trouble for harboring a runaway. If you don't want to call, ask your friend's parents to do it. Make sure they tell the officer you were kicked out. Emphasize that you were told to leave under threat of violence. Don't let them control the narrative! It will put you in the system as a troubled kid.
 
显然大家都让你报警或找儿童保护服务局（CPS），这事儿确实违法，但你还有个紧急原因必须尽快行动：你妈很可能过阵子冷静下来，要么意识到自己会惹上麻烦，要么单纯想让你回去，到时候她会报警说你是 “离家出走”。你得先主动报警留档，掌握话语权。我有好几个朋友都是这么长大的：被赶出去，然后被家长报失踪，几个星期或几个月就重复一次。而且你现在住朋友家，他们可能会因为 “窝藏离家出走未成年人” 惹上麻烦。你要是不敢自己打，就让朋友的父母帮忙，一定要跟警察说清楚你是被赶出来的，重点强调是在遭受暴力威胁的情况下被迫离开的。别让你妈颠倒黑白！不然你会被当成 “问题少年” 录入系统。
 
@pinkheartedrobe-xs
Absolutely my mom did this to me. She tried to make it seem like I ran away. The trauma is insane.
 
我妈当年就是这么对我的！她故意让所有人以为是我自己跑掉的，那种心理创伤真的一辈子都忘不了。
 
@HiddenLife_36
Unfortunately. It's a huge thing. It can be a felony if they are under 16. In my state: Texas Penal Code §25.06 Harboring Runaway Child. You commit an offense if you: Know the child is a runaway, Harbor them and fail to report it to law enforcement. Penalty: Typically a Class A misdemeanor, Up to 1 year in jail, Up to $4,000 fine.
 
这事儿真的很严重！如果收留的是 16 岁以下的未成年人，可能构成重罪。我所在的得克萨斯州有明确法律：《得克萨斯刑法典》第 25.06 条 “窝藏离家出走儿童” 规定，明知对方是离家出走儿童，仍收留且不向执法部门报告，即构成违法。处罚通常是 A 级轻罪，最高可判 1 年监禁，罚款 4000 美元。
 
@Great_cReddit
NGL, I worked for CPS for 10 years... Not sure she's going to be any better in CPS care... She will end up in a group home living under very strict rules with lawyers and other adults arguing over her fate. Then she turns 18 and is thrown to the wolves anyways. If CPS was to get involved it should be to provide her family with services to repair the relationship. So it's a roll of the dice on who the CPS worker will be as to how it's handled. Some will just take the kid into care and ship to a group home but others may try to work with the family. Just depends. No real good options here unless she has a close friend or family member.
 
说实话，我在儿童保护服务局（CPS）工作了 10 年…… 真不确定她进了 CPS 会过得更好。她最后可能会被送进集体之家，在那受一堆死板规矩的束缚，看着律师和陌生人争论她的命运。等她一满 18 岁，照样会被直接踢向社会，自生自灭。如果 CPS 要介入，本该是为她家人提供修复关系的服务，但最终结果全看遇到的 CPS 工作人员是什么样的 —— 有些人会直接把孩子带走送集体之家，有些人会试着调解家庭矛盾，全看运气。除非她有亲近的亲友能依靠，否则真的没什么好出路。
 
@Cendreloss
I got into foster care at 15 and sometimes even the worst place you end up going is better than staying home.
 
我 15 岁就进了寄养系统，有时候就算去的地方再差，也比待在那个家强。
 
@ODOTMETA
Those group homes are horrible and the rules are sextive/based on staff's attitude that day. Horrible places to live and work.
 
那些集体之家简直糟透了！规则全看工作人员当天的心情，想怎么定就怎么定。不管是住还是工作，都是地狱般的地方。
 
@Moviegal19
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This could be very detrimental to your psychological health. Please tell a counselor or teacher or adult you trust. Please. This is abuse. My mom gave me the silent treatment for 10 months when I was 15/16. It’s had a profound negative effect on me, even 25 years later. I also stayed/moved in with my best friend for about 5 months.
 
真的很抱歉你要经历这些，这对你的心理健康伤害太大了。求你了，一定要告诉辅导员、学校老师或任何你信任的成年人，这就是虐待！我 15、16 岁时，我妈对我冷战了 10 个月，就算过了 25 年，这件事对我的负面影响依然根深蒂固。我当时也在最好的朋友家住了大概 5 个月。
 
@MultiMillionMiler
Illegal to kick a kid out under 18 if you're in the United States..
 
在美国，把 18 岁以下的孩子赶出家门是违法的！
 
@Yimyorn
Call the police or CPS, they will guide you where to go and keep you safe. I'm sorry for your situation. Things will get better. Additionally going to CPS will cause your parents to get trouble for this. Though, honestly it might be for the better. Don’t talk to strangers who will “take care of you” you’re young and be cautious. Don’t tell strangers you got “kicked out” for your safety.
 
打电话给警察或儿童保护服务局（CPS），他们会告诉你该去哪，保护你的安全。很遗憾你遇到这种事，一切都会好起来的。而且找 CPS 会让你父母为此付出代价，说实话，这或许反而是件好事。别跟那些说 “会照顾你” 的陌生人搭话，你还太小，一定要小心。为了安全，也别跟陌生人说你是 “被赶出来” 的。
 
@Alternative-Matcha22
In OPs post history it states that their mother has hit/beaten them previously and stated they "wished they were a miscarriage." OP, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve any of this. And none of this is normal. This is abuse. Police and CPS need to be called. Like, yesterday. If you don't feel safe doing it, then ask your friend's parents or a school guidance counselor or a trusted teacher. And to bounce off another comment, do so as soon as you can so your mother can't manipulate the narrative.
 
看楼主之前的发帖记录，她妈妈以前就打过她，还说过 “真希望你当年流产了” 这种话。楼主，我真的很抱歉，你不该承受这些，这一切都不正常，就是赤裸裸的虐待！必须立刻报警和联系 CPS，越快越好！如果你觉得不安全，就让朋友的父母、学校辅导员或信任的老师帮忙。就像之前有人说的，一定要尽快行动，别让你妈颠倒黑白。
 
@Sea-wave-of-atoms
Make sure not to tell random adults or random strangers, unfortunately there are people in this world who would use this situation to their advantage. Stay with people you trust. If calling the cops or cps feels too scary rn, and you dont want to or cant wait until spring break is over, try looking up youth resources in your area. Even going to a YMCA or after school center you might be able to get support. No matter what happened that led up to this, it's not your fault, this is a huge overreaction from your parent, you didn't deserve to be kicked out and i'm wishing you the best. Stay safe and listen to your instincts above all.
 
千万不要告诉陌生的成年人或路人！不幸的是，这个世界上总有人会利用你的困境占便宜。一定要待在你信任的人身边。如果现在不敢报警或找 CPS，又等不及春假结束，就查查你所在地区的青少年救助资源，就算去基督教青年会（YMCA）或课后托管中心，说不定也能得到帮助。不管事情是怎么发生的，这都不是你的错！你父母的反应完全过激了，你不该被赶出来，祝你一切顺利。一定要注意安全，最重要的是相信自己的直觉。
 
@Impressive-Tip7156
Some parents really don't deserve kids.
 
有些父母真的不配拥有孩子。
 
@Equus-007
Everybody is telling you to call CPS. That's not the first thing you should do. First talk to your friends parents and other family members. Ask them what will happen if you can't go back. If they are willing to parent you until 18 that might be better than going through CPS. Eventually you'll need to talk to them but you'll be better off with friends you know than being uprooted and dumped in foster care. Second call CPS. Get all your documents(SSN, birth cert, etc) and keep them away from your mother. People want to punish your mom. She deserves it but first and foremost secure yourself.
 
大家都让你找 CPS，但这不该是你最先做的事。首先跟你朋友的父母和其他亲戚谈谈，问问他们如果你不能回家的话该怎么办。如果他们愿意照顾你到 18 岁，可能比找 CPS 更好。虽然最后可能还是需要联系 CPS，但待在熟悉的人身边，总比被硬生生扔进寄养系统强。第二步再找 CPS，一定要把所有证件【社会安全号（相当于美国的身份证号）、出生证明等】收好，别让你妈拿到。大家都想惩罚你妈，她确实活该，但你首先要做的是保护好自己。
 
@moist-astronaut
sounds more like OP is the designated scapegoat in a toxic household.
 
听起来楼主就是那个有毒家庭里被指定的替罪羊。
 
@Useful-Letter-2305
Oof. Skip to the second paragraph if u don’t wanna read… I’m guessing the credit card is in her name, so there’s nothing you can do about that. Not to mention you’re not old enough to be approved for a credit card. I’m 26 and I still can’t even get approved for a secured credit card. I’m still living with my parents because working full time at the hospital doesn’t make enough. And you can’t really retaliate or anything because if cops find you you’ll likely end up brought back to the bad situation and if ur parents don’t take u back you’ll end up in foster care. So you don’t have many options. You won’t afford your own apartment ever, you either have to be lucky, have enough experience, and have a high degreed field like doctor or surgeon to where you can make more than $80-100k, cuz that’s how much it costs to live independently.
 
唉，不想看长篇大论可以直接跳第二段…… 我猜那张信用卡是你妈的名字，所以你也没办法。何况你年纪还不够，根本申请不到信用卡。我都 26 了，连担保信用卡都申请不下来，现在还跟父母住在一起，因为在医院全职工作的收入都不够糊口。你也没法反击，因为警察要是找到你，很可能会把你送回那个糟糕的家；要是你父母不收你，你就会被送进寄养家庭。所以你没什么选择。靠自己永远买不起公寓，除非你运气好、有足够经验，还得是医生或外科医生这种高学历高薪职业，年薪能拿到 8 到 10 万美元 —— 独立生活的成本就是这么高。
 
@BoringJuiceBox
Sorry you gotta deal with this.. I’ll give advice I wish I had learned at that age. Do your best to survive, if you have the ability-do good in school. I’m in my 30s, my 2 best friends from HS became an electrical engineer and a lawyer. They own homes and have six figure jobs. If school isn’t your thing, start working jobs where you can learn valuable skills or a trade. Then you can either make a lot with that trade or start your own business. Don’t worry about relationships, you can have friends and go on dates but focus on career and your own growth. Money and capitalism is stupid but it’s literal survival. Best wishes to you fam.
 
很抱歉你要面对这些…… 我给你个建议，要是我小时候能知道就好了：先想尽办法活下去，要是有能力，就好好上学。我现在三十多岁，高中时最好的两个朋友，一个成了电气工程师，一个当了律师，都有房有车，年薪六位数。要是不喜欢上学，就找能学到实用技能或手艺的工作，以后要么靠手艺赚大钱，要么自己创业。别着急谈恋爱，交朋友、约会都可以，但要把重心放在事业和自我成长上。金钱和资本主义确实很荒谬，但这就是生存的残酷现实。祝你好运，孩子。
 
@manlikeelijah
You’re staying with your best friend. What do their parents know of the situation? They might be the best adults to help you through this. Also, talk to a trusted teacher or school counselor. They will be able to give you better advice and help than Reddit.
 
你现在住在最好的朋友家，他们的父母了解情况吗？他们可能是帮你度过难关的最佳成年人。另外，找个信得过的老师或学校辅导员聊聊，他们能给你的建议和帮助，比 Reddit 上的网友靠谱多了。
 
@meetdiandra
Thats not okay. You're 15, she can't just kick you out like that. Talk to a school counselor when break is over, they can help. Stay safe.
 
这太离谱了！你才 15 岁，她不能就这么把你赶出去。春假结束后赶紧找学校辅导员聊聊，他们能帮你。一定要注意安全。
 
@wmarples
Are you in the US? If so she cannot legally kick you out. Call CPS and local law enforcement.
 
你在美国吗？如果是，她把你赶出去是违法的！赶紧打电话给儿童保护服务局（CPS）和当地执法部门。
 
@mamadovah1102
Im giving you a big virtual mom hug. Call CPS or talk to a counselor at school or any other trusted adult. No child should be experiencing this.
 
给你一个大大的“虚拟妈妈”拥抱！打电话给儿童保护服务局（CPS），或者找学校辅导员、其他信得过的成年人帮忙。没有孩子该承受这些。
 
@dookieduck88
I know everyone is saying call cps, but no one is saying what happens after. It might be better to stay out of that home. Call cps, an ask them about options. Maybe emancipation. Maybe foster. Maybe group home. With emancipation some people get jobs and stay in school, it’s hard, but they raise themselves, but there’s also programs to help so you don’t have to work too much, ask for resources, there are options out there. It’s not just “call cps and go live in that toxic home again”.
 
我知道大家都让你找 CPS，但没人说之后会怎么样。最好别再回那个家了。打电话给 CPS 问问有什么选择，可能是申请独立成年、进寄养家庭，也可能是去集体之家。申请独立成年后，有些人能一边工作一边上学，虽然很难，但能自己养活自己，而且还有相关帮扶项目，不会让你过度打工。多问问资源，肯定有出路的，不是 “找了 CPS 就只能回那个有毒的家”。
 
@uoaei
sounds like a toxic situation all around. you should call cps.
 
听起来这整个家庭环境都有毒，你真该找 CPS 帮忙。
 
@Intrepid_Advice4411
Hey friend. If you are in the USA please call your States CPS. Just Google you're state name and CPS. You can 100% report your own parents. Your parents must legally care for you until you turn 18 and are out of school. That part alot of teens don't know. If you turn 18 during your senior year, they can't throw you out until you've finished the school year. Your parents are legally required to give you housing, including your own bed, food, education and medical care. CPS can help you get back into your home. They will check up on you and make sure your parents are behaving. If you don't feel safe going back, tell CPS. They can help you get your clothes and other items from the house. Those things are legally yours, even if your parents bought them! Do you have other family you can stay with? Grandparents or aunt's and uncles?
 
嘿，朋友！如果你在美国，一定要打你所在州的 CPS 电话，谷歌搜 “你所在州 + CPS” 就能找到。你完全可以举报自己的父母！很多青少年都不知道，父母有法律义务在你满 18 岁且毕业前照顾你 —— 就算你高三时满 18 岁，他们也得等你毕业才能赶你走。法律规定他们必须给你提供住房（包括一张属于你的床）、食物、教育和医疗服务。CPS 能帮你回到家里，还会定期回访，确保你父母不再乱搞。如果你觉得回去不安全，就跟 CPS 说，他们会帮你把衣服和其他东西从家里拿出来 —— 那些东西就算是父母买的，法律上也是你的！你还有其他亲戚能投靠吗？比如祖父母、叔叔阿姨？
 
@Crabtankerous
Call CPS or the cops.
 
赶紧找 CPS 或者报警！
 
@STORSJ1963
This is abandonment and is highly illegal. If you were to report this, she would be arrested.
 
这就是遗弃儿童，是严重违法的！你要是举报，她肯定会被逮捕。
 
@Role-Fine
Yeah then he gets to be in a foster home for the next 3 years
 
是的，那她接下来三年内铁定会被送进寄养家庭
 
@Strikercharge
HMMmm, almost totally homeless vs housed and fed Gee, tough decision
 
嗯，几乎完全无家可归，和有住所和有饭吃的区别，哎呀，真是个困难决定
 
@Pawleysgirls
Did you read the post? She doesn’t have a choice. Her mother kicked her out!
 
（回复楼上）你没看帖子吗？她根本没得选，是她妈把她赶出去的！
 
@EdenBlade47
That's better than picking between homelessness and abuse. Believe it or not, while the system is not perfect, it's often better than the alternatives.
 
这总比在无家可归和虐待之间二选一强。信不信由你，虽然这个系统不完美，但往往比其他选择好得多。
 
@nosecohn
It's so interesting how in every one of these threads, the top comments always say to call CPS, and then there's one comment from someone who actually works/worked for CPS who advises against it.
 
真有意思，每次这种帖子里，最热门的评论都是让找 CPS，但总会有一个真正在 CPS 工作过的人站出来说别去。
 
@Putrid-Bar5623
I was wondering if anyone had/knew of an experience like this. My cousin’s friend started coming over after school to hang out. She was 12. Then, she started asking for a couple of necessities, like tampons. Spent another night. And another. And a week. Next thing we know, my aunt has another child. And my aunt was just over the poverty line herself. The girl literally lived with my aunt until it was time for her to leave home. Her mother lived not far away, but was addicted to crack. Her aunt though, had fewer children and lived a comfortable middle class lifestyle. Never gave my aunt a dime. Never took the girl shopping. The aunt would do the girl’s hair for free twice a month (but not my aunt’s) because she owned a successful salon. Nothing was ever official. Didn’t want to get “authorities” involved because they mess things up. So yep. My aunt died with one child more than she actually had, and never got a penny to raise her. Things like this are not outside the realm of possibility. I think it’s just the fact that she’s in this subreddit with the story that makes it sus.
 
我一直想知道有没有人有过类似的经历。我表哥的朋友 12 岁时开始放学后过来玩，后来开始要一些必需品，比如卫生棉条，然后就开始过夜，一住就是一个星期，最后干脆一直住在我姑姑家，我姑姑自己都刚过贫困线。那女孩一直跟我姑姑住到成年，她妈妈住得不远，但吸毒成瘾。她的另一个姑妈孩子少，过着舒适的中产阶级生活，却从没给过我姑姑一分钱，也没带那女孩买过东西，只因为自己开了家成功的沙龙，每月免费给那女孩做两次头发（却不给我姑姑做）。这一切都没有任何正式手续，大家都不想让 “当局” 介入，因为他们只会把事情搞砸。所以啊，我姑姑到死都多养了一个 “女儿”，却从没拿到过一分抚养费。这种事真的有可能发生，我觉得只是因为她在这个子版块发帖子，才让人觉得可疑。
 
@chicknferi
first thing i did was apply for food stamps and medicaid when i got kicked out as a minor. saved my life.
 
我未成年被赶出去后，做的第一件事就是申请食品券和医疗补助，这真是救了我的命。
 
@keyah13
I’m sure it’s hard to return home after all of this is happening. I’m sorry you’re going through this and you shouldn’t be in this situation.
 
经历了这一切，我知道你很难再回家了。真抱歉你要面对这些，你根本不该陷入这种境地。
 
@MaleficentMalice
Your parents cannot kick you out as a minor. They could literally be arrested for that.
 
你还是未成年人，你父母不能把你赶出去，他们这么做真的会被逮捕的。