X博主：刚下优步。司机跟我说他为了付房租，不得不每天工作 16 个小时，一周七天，打两份工。他没有医疗保险，还担心退休问题。“要是我们拥有格陵兰岛，我会感觉好受得多，”他告诉我。说完他哭了。
just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland, he told me. then he cried.
译文简介
“更可悲的是一半的美国人看不懂这个讽刺”
正文翻译
dieworkwear
just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland, he told me. then he cried.
刚下优步。司机跟我说他为了付房租，不得不每天工作 16 个小时，一周七天，打两份工。他没有医疗保险，还担心退休问题。“要是我们拥有格陵兰岛，我会感觉好受多了，”他告诉我。说完他哭了。
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Was he a big guy, strong guy, who never once cried in his life?
他是不是那种从没掉过一滴泪的壮汉硬汉？
dieworkwear
yes. when i got out, he said, "im sorry for being white." i put my hand on his shoulder and said "you don't have to apologize anymore" and then he burst out crying again
是的。当我下车时，他说：“我为我是白人感到抱歉。”我把手搭在他肩上说：“你不需要再道歉了。”然后他又哭了出来。
sunnysangwan
Tell him it’s done, they got their president
告诉他事情已经办妥了，他们得到他们想要的总统了
jowenNFT
My aunt and uncle are all in on Greenland, they are both recent college grads (accounting and engineering) and can’t find jobs. They keep saying owning Greenland is psychologically important to them.
我叔叔阿姨都押注在格陵兰上，他们刚大学毕业（会计和工程专业），工作都找不到。他们总说拥有格陵兰在心理上对他们很重要。
cryptodaaddy
that’s the reality for so many people. the system is broken and it’s pushing us to our limits
这就是许多人的现实。体系已然崩溃，正将我们推向极限。
anymatnft
Owning Greenland will give him a healthcare or pay the rent?
拥有格陵兰岛就能让他得到医保还是付得起房租？
CaptainGhazi
Stories like this really put things in perspective. Hard work doesn’t always equal security, and it’s heartbreaking to see someone pushed to the edge like this.
这样的故事真是发人深省。辛勤工作并不总意味着安稳，看到有人被逼到如此境地，真是令人心碎。
thedanielaros
That's heartbreaking. People shouldn't have to live like that.
这真令人心碎，人们不该过这样的生活。
RealMissAI
If owning Greenland is the plan then we have officially run out of real ideas.
如果购买格陵兰岛就是计划，那么我们是真的没招了。
JoyceWhiteVance
Did he call you Sir?
他叫你先生（长官）了吗？
ChereneAubert
And you were like “here are 5 reasons why your pants don’t fit”
而你却说“这里有 5 个理由说明你的裤子为什么不合身”
AditiRajasthan
Man’s out here grinding 112-hour weeks and still dreaming in geopolitics.
Heartbreaking.
这家伙一周苦干 112 个小时，梦里还惦记着地缘政治。
令人心碎。
moonwatcher1
Aaaaand, THAT gets a follow!
啊啊啊，这必须得关注一下！
Wassieweb3
this is what a bubble looks like from the streets.
从街头看泡沫就是这个样子。
nub
One time an uber driver told me that she was voting for Trump bc Trump would create a ride hailing app where drivers got more money.
有一次一个优步司机告诉我，她支持特朗普是因为觉得他会搞一个让司机赚更多的打车应用。
Ukrainolution
He couldn't even afford to go into the hipster coffee shop where he dropped you off.
他把你送到那家时髦咖啡店门口，自己却舍不得花钱进去。
rgoldson
America First!
美国优先！
May_b_not_
Best they could do is greenland.
他们最多只能拿下格陵兰。
DC_Brawler
Who needs health care when we have this!
有了这个，还需要什么医疗保健！
CynthiaWibel
EXACTLY! We want Universal Health Care like Greenland and Denmark have! Why are we spending trillions on the military? There will be nothing left worth defending in this country when trump is done.
完全正确！我们想要的正是像格陵兰和丹麦那样的全民医疗保健！为什么我们要在军事上投入数万亿？等到特朗普折腾完，这个国家将没有任何值得保卫的东西了。
Shivram_Krishna
This is why the News Cycle is dangerous.
It convinces suffering people that 'Geopolitics' is the solution to their 'Poverty.'
It sells them Empire dreams to distract them from their serfdom reality.
He needs a unx, not an iceberg.
这就是新闻循环的危险之处。
它让受苦的人们相信，"地缘政治"是解决他们"贫困"问题的答案。
它兜售帝国梦，以转移他们对自己农奴现实的注意力。
他需要的是团结，不是冰冷的隔阂。
suyuri
How did he conclude that owning Greenland would give him healthcare and a better safety net? What kind of mental gymnastics are people doing...
他怎么就断定拥有格陵兰就能给他医保和更好的社会保障？人们这是在进行什么样的思维体操……
MoeJLong
When he meets this dude - that's when the crying will really start.
当他碰上这哥们儿——哭戏才要真正上演。
KerbyKevan
Are MAGAts really stupid enough to believe that taking over Greenland would positively impact them on a personal level? Fuck they're ignorant.
MAGA 的支持者们真的蠢到以为接管格陵兰会对个人有好处吗？真是无知透顶。
wentz704
John I’ll take things that never happened for 5000 please
约翰，我出 5000 块赌这事纯属瞎编
Humperdingus
Oh, you almost got the joke.
哎，你差点就 get 到笑点了。
DoktorZoom
Chickens seldom offer a rationale for their having crossed the road, too.
It's like everything you knew was a lie.
鸡们也很少解释它们过马路的原因。
就像你过去所知道的一切都是谎言。
MartinRemains
Well, yes. It’s a joke.
好吧，是的。这只是一个玩笑。
trumpetadagreat
this happened man, we need to desperately take Greenland for the sake of these American workers
这真的发生了，兄弟们，为了这些美国工人，我们必须不惜一切代价拿下格陵兰岛
ambon8811
Satire is hard when you are a Bot
讽刺对机器人而言实属难事
Octopiinthesky
Wow. Nothing gets past you huh?
哇，什么都逃不过你的眼睛，是吧？
Jube02
Wow. You spotted that the obvious joke didn’t actually happen?
哇，你居然发现那个明显的玩笑根本没发生？
XclusiveAutos1
That's heartbreaking. Guy's grinding 16-hour days, no healthcare, no safety net, and his takeaway is 'we need Greenland'? The disconnect is wild, people are hurting bad and the loudest voices keep selling them weird foreign distractions instead of fixing basics at home.✍
真是令人心碎。这家伙每天工作 16 小时，没有医保，没有安全保障，最后得出的结论居然是"我们需要格陵兰"？这种脱节太离谱了，民众正在水深火热中，而声音最大的人还在兜售那些奇怪的外国转移话题，而不是解决国内的基本问题。 ✍
PaneCracked
God bless the Uber pilots.
上帝保佑这位优步司机。
PietOlsen
Oh my god, I'm Danish and this story has convinced me that the US should get Greenland. I'd be a heartless monster if I thought otherwise.
天哪，作为丹麦人，这个故事让我确信美国应该得到格陵兰岛。若持相反意见，那我简直是铁石心肠的怪物。
BlueWaveMelvin
This was not a very funny joke. ♂️But I do have my own story to tell you.
这一点也不好笑。 ♂️ 不过，我确实有自己的故事要告诉你。
If you ever had a European boss or work for a company own by Europeans, you’ll know exactly if given the right price, the Danish will sell Greenland.
如果你曾有过欧洲老板或为欧洲人拥有的公司工作，你就会明白，只要价钱合适，丹麦人会卖掉格陵兰。
I once had a job where it was own by Europeans, they gave us bonuses, and were extremely nice to its employees, until one day they sold the company without a warning. Many of us didn’t even have time to look for another job or opportunity. I then realized Europeans hate upsetting the people they associate with, instead they just took the money and ran with it. The Danish will do the same thing to the people of Greenland. Mark my words.
我曾在一家欧洲人开的公司工作，他们发奖金，对员工特别友善，直到有一天毫无预警地卖掉了公司。我们很多人连找新工作或机会的时间都没有。那时我才明白，欧洲人讨厌得罪身边人，所以他们选择直接拿钱跑路。丹麦人对格陵兰人也会这么做。记住我的话。
eveverett64
That's really sad. That's what neoliberalism does to people. It sucks all of the life out of people, making them debt slaves for fake digital money. It's literally Federal Reserve policy. Jerome Powell said that hire wages is THE cause of inflation. Not banks printing money because they have no reserve requirements anymore. Not the government borrowing money to fight wars of choice.
这真是太悲哀了。这就是新自由主义对人的影响。它吸干了人们的活力，让他们为虚拟的数字货币沦为债务奴隶。这简直是美联储的政策。杰罗姆·鲍威尔说工资上涨才是通胀的根源。而不是因为银行不再有准备金要求而印钞。也不是政府为选择性的战争借钱。
Esweeney7
America owning another country won't make laws ensuring fair livable wages, universal healthcare and retirement plans. Jesus the stupidity is mind blowing
美国占领他国不会让法律确保公平合理的生活工资、全民医保和退休计划。天啊，这种愚蠢程度简直令人窒息。
rvanhee13403
Owned Greenland? Either this is a bullshit story or that uber driver is an idiot
买了格陵兰？要不是这故事胡说八道，要不就是那优步司机脑子进水
window_market
This isn’t about Greenland.
It’s about cost of living > income growth.
When housing, healthcare, and basics rise faster than wages, people don’t feel poor they feel trapped.
That’s the real crisis. Not geopolitics. Not headlines.
Broken affordability.
这与格陵兰无关。
生活成本上涨超过收入增长。
当住房、医疗和基本生活开销增速快过工资时，人们感受的不是贫穷而是困顿。
这才是真正的危机。无关地缘政治，也无关新闻头条。
负担能力崩溃。
whinyunderscore
realizing that invading greenland won't help you financially:
意识到侵略格陵兰无助于财务收益：
【】
cimarron_kid
The guy must be an idiot. Is owning Greenland going to allow him to quit one of his jobs, afford rent, be able to have healthcare, and retire? That MAGA Kool Aid as rotted his brain if he thinks so.
那家伙肯定是个白痴。以为拥有了格陵兰岛就能让他辞掉一份工作、付得起房租、享有医疗保险并顺利退休？要是他真这么想，那 MAGA 的迷魂汤可真是把他的脑子泡坏了。
Alacritic_Super
Ohh yes. Clearly the missing piece in his financial plan was Greenland.
Nothing says affordable rent, healthcare, and retirement security like:
a frozen island
56,000 people
and absolutely zero labor protections for Uber drivers
Can't afford rent?
Don't fix wages.
Don't fix healthcare.
Just buy a continent.
Once Greenland is ours:
rent will drop
healthcare will appear
pensions will materialize
and the driver will finally sleep
Until then, back to the 16-hour shift. ❄️
哦，没错。他财务计划中明显缺失的一环就是格陵兰。
房租、医保、退休保障能有多实惠？看看这个就知道了：
一座冰冻之岛
56000 人
而且优步司机毫无劳动保护可言
付不起房租？
别改工资。
别碰医疗系统。
直接买下一片大陆。
格陵兰归我们的时候：
房租会降
医保即将出现
养老金将落实到位
司机终于可以睡一觉了
在那之前，先回去打 16 小时轮班的工吧。
MvelohEnhleh
What will he benefit as a regular guy from Greenland, because only the government will benefit
作为格陵兰的普通人，我想知道他会得到什么好处，因为只有政府才会受益
TimMorton8
My last several Lyft/Uber rides involved a sob story right before it is time to choose a tip.
我最近几次乘 Lyft 和 Uber，总是在选择小费前听到一段悲情故事。
IanRaffBeinDaff
And then he will be able to get a solid $150k job mining Greenland rare earths, two weeks on, one month off, likely driving a dump truck up there.
之后他就能获得一份稳定的 15 万美元年薪工作，在格陵兰开采稀土，两周上班，一个月休假，很可能就是开着翻斗车在那儿工作。
anbacagh
Yeah, that never happened. Most of you numbskulls couldn't even pronounce Greenland.
I care not if it is a joke, to me it is deadly serious. (no hard feelings)
是的，这种事情从来没发生过。你们这些傻瓜大部分连格陵兰的名字都念不对。
管它是玩笑与否，对我而言它事关重大。（别往心里去）
VisionCraft007
I worry posts like this can turn real pain into metaphor too easily.
That wasn’t a political statement as much as someone hitting the edge of exhaustion with no safety net left.
我担心这样的帖子会太轻易地把真实的痛苦变成隐喻。
那与其说是政治声明，不如说是有人耗尽了最后的安全网，濒临崩溃边缘。
rupakbid
His problem is housing, healthcare, and labor markets, definitely not Greenland.
他的问题是住房、医疗和劳动力市场，肯定不是格陵兰。
hebetterless
That’s not a political opinion, that’s despair looking for somewhere, anywhere, to land.
When people start talking about owning Greenland, what they’re really saying is: this system has failed me and I don’t know who’s listening anymore.
那并非政治观点，而是绝望在寻找任何可以着陆的栖身之处。
当人们开始谈论拥有格陵兰岛时，他们真正在说的是：这个系统辜负了我，我不知道还有谁在听。
michaelps2k
I don’t like the idea of taking Greenland forcefully, but I don’t mind the idea of annexing them if they’re willing to join the unx or be a territory. They’d benefit from our economy, we’d benefit in military posturing.
我不喜欢强行夺取格陵兰的想法，但如果他们愿意加入联邦或成为领地，我不反对兼并。他们将从我们的经济中受益，我们则能在军事布局上获利。
AliShazil_
This is heartbreaking in a quiet way, because it shows how economic stress pushes people to cling to absurd hopes just to feel some control. When someone working nonstop still feels unsafe, the problem isn’t ambition or effort, it’s the system grinding people down.
这以一种无声的方式令人心碎，因为它揭示经济压力如何逼迫人们紧握荒谬的希望，只为获得些许掌控感。当一个人不停歇地工作仍感到不安时，问题不在于野心或努力，而是这个体系在磨损人心。
shipitniko
The wildest part is that someone can be that exhausted and still think the main issue is owning more land instead of fixing the system that is breaking him.
最疯狂的部分在于，有人已经疲惫至此，却依然认为问题的关键在于占有更多土地，而非修复那个正将他压垮的体系。
HowToUseAI_
This obviously happened and is a very true story
这显然是真实发生过的故事
phillipsharring
Then he showed you his piece, you touched it, and it went off in his hand sooner than you expected. And now you’re talking about the game last night and avoiding eye contact. But you’ll get his number…
然后他亮出了他的家伙，你碰了一下，没想到它在他手里提前走火了。现在你们在聊昨晚的比赛，眼神却躲躲闪闪。不过你总会拿到他的电话号码……
kamleshdabhhi
When someone working nonstop still can’t afford stability, the problem isn’t geography or grand strategy, it’s that basic dignity has become unattainable. People don’t need empires. They need security.
当有人拼命工作仍无法获得安稳生活时，问题并非出在地理区位或宏大战略，而是基本尊严已成奢望。人们不需要宏图霸业，他们需要的是保障。
Dave96641514
Love that very few even got the sarcasm here, serious worry…..
几乎没人听出这里的讽刺意味，令人忧心忡忡……
TheTrentHarvey
Your trolling really is next level.
你的巨魔技术真是炉火纯青了。
Ian_Visible
Then all the people in Asda clapped including the little kid on crutches, the manager paid for your shopping, your 2 year daughter come out and spouted some bollocks about wolves dying, she won the Nobel peace prize, all the people in Asda clapped again and cried too.
接着阿斯达超市里的所有人都鼓起了掌，包括那个拄着拐杖的小孩子，经理还为你付了购物款，你那两岁的女儿走出来胡诌了一通关于狼群灭亡的鬼话，结果她竟然获得了诺贝尔和平奖，阿斯达里的所有人再次鼓掌，还感动得流下了眼泪。
Viralvid_89
That’s heartbreaking, nobody should have to work that hard just to survive.
这真是令人心碎，任何人都不应该只是为了生存而如此拼命工作。
RandyBoomerBoy
Tears of joy!
He should move there and get a job driving UberSkis.
喜极而泣！
他应该搬到那里去，找份开 UberSkis 的工作。
Surendar__05
late stage capitalism really said no healthcare no rest no future but sure lets discuss greenland priorities truly locked in
晚期资本主义真是绝了：要医保没医保，要休息没休息，未来更是没指望，但行吧，咱们就来认真讨论格陵兰的优先级问题
TheChickyLittle
While this is extremely funny, there’s a poignant heartbreak to it as well.
尽管这极为滑稽，却也蕴含着令人心碎的酸楚。
CitizenChug
Joke all you want but I sleep better at night knowing there is peace in the world, especially Thailand/Cambodia.
你们尽管笑吧，知道世界上有和平存在，尤其泰国和柬埔寨，我晚上睡得更安稳了。
dikke_van
Is this peace you talk about in the same room with us?
你所说的那个和平是否与我们同在？
Fbella7
Oh wow! I feel his pain. I woke up this morning after having the strangest dream: I owned Greenland! And everything was better! Now, psychologically, I really must have Greenland because you know - it's not the same knowing it's there - I have to have it in my hands. You know?
哇！我能感受到他的痛苦。今早醒来，我做了一个最离奇的梦：我竟然拥有格陵兰！而且一切都变得美好了！现在从心理上来说，我非得拥有格陵兰不可——你知道的，光是知道它在那儿可不够，我必须把它攥在手里才行。你懂这种心情吗？
PhilinSF
The sad part is half the people that read this are going to think he’s a Trump supporter that thinks a takeover of Greenland will be beneficial to this poor guy….
可悲的是，读到这条的人里会有一半认为他是特朗普的支持者，以为占领格陵兰岛会对这可怜人有益……
Rob184rob
Block that Uber driver! Actually, don’t get in a car with any of these weepy guys:
Top row: Kyle Rittenhouse, Putin, and Brett Kavanaugh
And now, bottom row: Lindsey Graham, and Lindsey Graham
把那 Uber 司机拉黑！实际上，别跟下面这些爱哭鬼一起坐车：
前排：凯尔·里滕豪斯、普京和布雷特·卡瓦诺
现在，最后一排：林赛·格雷厄姆，还是林赛·格雷厄姆
TJH19571
I look forward to reading your article explaining to the driver, and many others besides, how possessing Greenland ain't gonna make a blind bit of difference to him and 99.9% of the U.S. population. Then seeing a picture of you presenting a copy of the article to him.
我期待读到你的一篇文章：向那位司机以及更多人解释，拥有格陵兰对他以及 99.9%的美国民众而言不会产生丝毫实际影响。然后希望看到一张照片：你拿着那篇文章的复印件递给他。
judynor00320887
The Fox Effect
Watching Fox Putin tv changes something in the brain seems to make people extremely gullible and emotionally disturbed.
福克斯效应
观看福克斯普京电视台似乎会改变大脑的某些机制，使人变得极易轻信且情绪失常。
LeclairLar
Greenlanders enjoy free healthcare, 52 week paid maternity leave, free education including college, etc. The Nordic plan. The US can offer them none of that.
格陵兰人享有免费医疗、52 周带薪产假、免费教育包括大学等北欧福利计划。美国却无法提供其中任何一项。
ecoengr
Probably not true. Fun story. Would be easier to read if capitalized. Not sure why so many aren't capitalizing their sentences anymore in online forums. Weird.
恐怕不是真的。挺有意思的趣闻。要是大写的话读起来会更轻松。搞不懂为什么现在网上论坛里这么多人都不大写句子开头了。真奇怪。
cambo5157
Let's make Greenland safe again.... let's get rid of the Orange pest once and for all....
让格陵兰再次安全……彻底摆脱橙色瘟疫……
ecellington
Had same driver after you. Eyes were still leaking.
showed him sketches of the under construction East Wing Casino. He immediately liquidated his savings (sold his Pokémon cards) bought commemorative Trump chips started watching Rounders.
Trusting the plan.
我在你后面坐了那位司机的车。泪眼依然婆娑。
他展示了正在建造的东翼赌场草图。他立刻清空储蓄（卖掉宝可梦卡），买了纪念版特朗普筹码，开始观看《赌王之王》。
相信计划。
Linmarie1234
Just like the oil money from Venezuela going to Quatar do you think the money from the rare earth metals he wants will go to citizens of the US?
您认为他想要的稀土金属带来的财富会落到美国公民手中吗？就像委内瑞拉的石油收入流向了卡塔尔？