外国人提问：中国年轻一代的出轨行为有多普遍（与西方相比）？
How common is infidelity in China in the younger generations (compared to the West)
译文简介
“我一直以为美国人比中国人更容易出轨，但我发现我大部分中国朋友（16 到 20 岁）都曾背叛过他们的伴侣。这让我相当震惊，因为在那之前，我唯一认识的华人人夫妇只有我父母，而我认为他们对彼此忠诚。”
正文翻译
How common is infidelity in China in the younger generations (compared to the West)
中国的年轻一代中不忠行为有多普遍（与西方相比）？
I had always thought that Americans cheat more than Chinese but I realized most of my Chinese friends (16-20 years old) have cheated on their partners before. It was pretty shocking to me, because the only Chinese couples I had known prior to meeting them were my own parents who (I think) are loyal to each other
我一直以为美国人比中国人更容易出轨，但我发现我大部分中国朋友（16 到 20 岁）都曾背叛过他们的伴侣。这让我相当震惊，因为在那之前，我唯一认识的华人人夫妇只有我父母，而我认为他们对彼此忠诚。
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i’ve wondered about this too. but my suspicion is that the rates among Chinese are comparable to anywhere else.
我也曾对此感到好奇。但我怀疑中国人与其他地方相比出轨率相差无几。
CreativeOrange8223
16-20 years old?! Well I’m from 80s’. Most of us were still virgin until last years of university or most of my friends waited until wedding. In other hand, nowadays generation are much more open, but still from region to region. Remote less educated areas have much higher rate of early sexual experience.
16-20 岁？！我是 80 后。我们大部分人直到大学最后几年都还是处子之身，或者我的多数朋友都等到婚后。另一方面，现在的年轻人要开放得多，但仍因地区而异。偏远、受教育程度较低的地区早发性经历的比例要高得多。
ConnectionDry4268
Majority are still virgin but some who are in relationship do not engage in intercourse.
大部分人仍然是处子之身，但一些处于恋爱关系中的人并不会发生性行为。
If is exaggerated by social media
是否被社交媒体夸大
CreativeOrange8223
I had a friend from GUI Zhou, she had twins when she was 16. I was very shocked.
我有个贵州的朋友，她十六岁时就生了双胞胎。我非常震惊。
ConnectionDry4268
yeah it is still rare
是的，这种情况仍然少见。
CreativeOrange8223
that's good.
那很好。
when i was in school (from Beijing), only the bad students in very low ranking schools have this type of problem. all others were 100% focus on college entrance exam.
我上学的时候（在北京），只有排名非常靠后的学校里的差生才会出现这种问题。其他人全都 100%专注于高考。
HarRob
My understanding after ten years in China was that infidelity was widespread and tolerated on both sides of the marriage as long as the family unit could be maintained.
在中国十年的经历让我了解到，婚外情现象普遍存在，只要家庭结构得以维系，婚姻双方都能容忍。
Hammerhead2046
Never seen a statistics on this, it's probably similar everywhere.
从未见过相关的统计数据，各国的情况可能都差不多。
TheHotChocolate-Gent
I’ve dated two Chinese girls both told me that as long as I never embarrassed them (cheated in front of them) they were ok with it…I was shocked
我曾交往过两个中国女孩，她们都告诉我只要不让她们难堪（当着她们的面出轨），她们就能接受……我很震惊
Glittering-Work2190
They probably have something on the side as well. lol
她们可能也另有所属。哈哈
FreakindaStreet
Actually, probably not. I’ve seen this in many Asian societies, and the dynamics are very different than from Western mentalities in regards to male infidelity. It goes like; if I am with a high value man, then I have to accept that a part of being a high value man is that others are going to want that man. So my goal is to keep him from leaving me for another woman, and not to keep him from having emotionally empty dalliances with other women. Because physical intimacy is not equal to emotional intimacy. One is transient, and a part of men’s nature, while the other is a direct threat to my marital and social status.
实际上，可能并非如此。我在许多亚洲社会中目睹过类似现象，在男性出轨问题上，其背后的动态与西方思维方式大相径庭。逻辑大致如下：如果我与一位高价值男性在一起，那么我必须接受，身为高价值男性的一部分特质就是，他人也会觊觎这位男性。因此，我的目标是防止他为了另一个女人而离开我，而不是阻止他与其他女人发生毫无感情基础的短暂关系。因为身体亲密并不等同于情感亲密。前者是短暂的，属于男性天性的一部分，而后者则直接威胁到我的婚姻和社会地位。
To be clear, I do not condone this, but I reserve judgment on other cultures’ values.
需要说明的是，我并非赞同这种做法，但我对其他文化的价值观持保留判断。
bumluffa
Sure, but any woman that thinks this, won't be herself a high value woman.
确实如此，但任何这样想的女性，其自身也不太可能是高价值女性。
DesperateAdvantage76
Yeah, in China, women have most of the leverage, they are usually the ones who get to be picky, so this only applies to desperate women (including those desperate for a high income man).
是啊，在中国，女性通常占据主导地位，她们往往才是挑挑拣拣的一方，所以这种情况只适用于那些急切寻求伴侣的女性（包括那些迫切希望找到高收入男性的女性）。
Glittering-Work2190
I don't doubt what you're saying. My response was in jest. Back in the "old days," it's quite common for rich men to have a wife, and mistresses. Their wives even know about them.
我毫不怀疑你的说法，刚才只是开玩笑。在过去，富人娶妻纳妾相当普遍，甚至他们的妻子都对此知情。
TheHotChocolate-Gent
You’re absolutely correct! That is exactly how they explained it! The crazy part is when I thought about their perspective it’s actually more honest than western! My father is a minister and growing up as a preachers kid the amount of infidelity that I saw was insane!
你说得完全正确！这正是他们的解释方式！最不可思议的是，当我从他们的角度思考时，这实际上比西方的更为坦诚！我父亲是一名牧师，作为一个牧师长大的孩子，我目睹的不忠行为简直令人发指！
daredaki-sama
Have you heard about the male best friend. Funny thing is that guy actually might not be banging your girl.
你有没有听说过“男闺蜜”这个说法。有趣的是，那个人可能真的没有和你的女朋友发生关系。
But when she goes out to drink with her friends without you she might give some random guy a chance. It’s not really that uncommon.
但当她独自外出与朋友饮酒时，却可能给某个偶然相遇的男士以机会。这种情况其实并不罕见。
I’ve gone on dates with girls who I found out had boyfriends. I didn’t ask and they didn’t tell.
我曾与一些女孩约会，后来发现她们都有男朋友。我没有问，她们也没有说。
Necessary_Spring_425
This is an interesting point and has some validity to it, but i guess its less and less common nowadays. Maybe its still more present in Japan, but I would not count on modern Chinese women tolerating this. Definitely going to hookers is less of a sin in the eyes of asian women, but affairs are not really tolerated (logic is - they view hooker = physical pleasure, while affair = endangering their position )
这是一个有趣的观点，并且有一定的道理，但我认为现在这种情况越来越少了。可能在日本仍然比较常见，但我不认为现代中国女性会容忍这种行为。当然，在亚洲女性眼中，嫖妓的罪过可能较小，但出轨通常不被容忍（逻辑是——她们认为嫖妓是肉体愉悦，而出轨则会危及她们的地位）
awsa4r
This wins
这个绝了
Important-Emu-6691
This is simply not the case in most urban Chinese cities rn
现在大多数中国城市的情况并非如此
ActuallBliss
9 years living in an urban city in China tells me that it is. I used to go out a lot and regularly see the fathers of students from my school with other women. I also have a good friend whose wife often joins us for dinner and then goes home so we can “go find girls” in her own exact words.
在中国城市生活了九年的经验告诉我确实是这样。我以前经常出门，总能看到学校学生的父亲和别的女性在一起。我还有个好朋友，他老婆经常和我们一起吃饭，然后回家，这样我们就可以“去找女孩”，这是她的原话。
Important-Emu-6691
No what you are talking about is a small fraction of marriages you take note of. Which happens in every society. Vast majority of wife/girlfriend will be very upset with infidelity and the legal system has fairly strong protection for the party that is cheated on. As in you would get a lot more than half the assets if the other side commits infidelity. In fact having a long term mistress would be illegal and considered bigamy.
不，你提到的只是你注意到的一小部分婚姻状况。这在任何社会都存在。绝大多数妻子或女友对不忠行为都会感到非常不满，而且法律体系对受欺骗的一方提供了相当有力的保护。例如，如果对方发生不忠行为，你可能会获得超过一半的财产。实际上，长期包养情妇是违法的，会被视为重婚。
ActuallBliss
There is a difference between something being “not the case” and it being “a small fraction”. If it was common enough that it happened in plain sight for me to see on a semi-regular basis then it’s enough to say that it IS the case.
"不是普遍情况"和"只是一小部分"之间是有区别的。如果它常见到我可以半定期地在公开场合看到，那么这就足以说明它确实是普遍情况。
Again, my friends wife literally leaves so he can meet other girls. I have never experienced that with any friends back in the U.K. Does’t mean it doesn’t happen, of course.
再说一次，我朋友的妻子实际上会离开，以便他可以与其他女孩见面。我在英国的任何朋友中从未经历过这种情况。当然，这并不意味着它不会发生。
Important-Emu-6691
Not sure what you are on about. “Not the case” and a “small fraction” refer to two different claims. You should just work on your English comprehension. So while there is a difference both the statements are true since they applied to two different claims in this context. It is not the case mentality in China is
不确定你在说什么。"并非如此"和"一小部分"指的是两个不同的说法。你应该提高一下英语理解能力。虽然存在差异，但这两个陈述都是正确的，因为它们在此情境中适用于两个不同的主张。在中国，心态并非如此
if I am with a high value man, then I have to accept that a part of being a high value man is that others are going to want that man. So my goal is to keep him from leaving me for another woman, and not to keep him from having emotionally empty dalliances with other women. Because physical intimacy is not equal to emotional intimacy. One is transient, and a part of men’s nature, while the other is a direct threat to my marital and social status.
如果我与一个高价值男性在一起，那么我必须接受，作为高价值男性的一部分，其他人也会想要他。所以我的目标是防止他为了另一个女人离开我，而不是阻止他与别的女人有情感空虚的调情。因为身体的亲密并不等于情感的亲密。前者是短暂的，是男人本性的一部分，而后者则直接威胁到我的婚姻和社会地位。
You can rely on personal experience if you want but it just seem like an extremely bad method of coming to a conclusion. For instance i have a few online friends from UK and they all have multiple partners and almost half are trans. Shall I make the conclusion the culture in UK is half the people are trans and everyone has open relationships?
如果你想依赖个人经验固然可以，但这似乎是一种极不可靠的推导结论方式。比如说，我有几位来自英国的网友，他们都有多个伴侣，其中近一半是跨性别者。难道我就能得出结论，认为英国文化中一半人口都是跨性别者，并且所有人都保持开放性关系吗？
ActuallBliss
What you are saying makes no sense. You made a claim that something doesn’t happen at all, which I disputed because I have witnessed it first hand. You then said it’s a small fraction, and I shouldn’t rely on personal experience. But my experience is real and lived, it’s what I know is true. I also didn’t say infidelity happens all the time nor did I imply that it is a representation of the entire nation of China. I just said that I have witnessed it.
你的说法毫无道理。你声称某件事根本不会发生，而我通过亲身经历提出了异议。接着你又辩解说这只是极少数情况，并指出我不应依赖个人经验。但我的经历真实存在，是我亲眼所见的真相。我并未说婚外情随处可见，更未暗示这能代表全中国的普遍现象。我只是陈述了我亲眼见证的事实。
You are making a straw man argument, and to then resort to unnecessary and ungrounded personal insult as to my comprehension of the English language is a statement to the type of person you are, so I’m out.
你在制造一个稻草人论点，然后转而对我英语理解能力进行不必要且无根据的人身攻击，这正好说明了你是哪类人，所以不说了。
Important-Emu-6691
Can you point to where I made the claim something doesn’t happen at all?
你能指出我声称某件事完全不会发生的地方吗？
Caterpie3000
You're talking to a guy who probably has not as much experience in China as you do.
你在跟一个可能对中国经验不如你的人说话。
I live there and I can confirm infidelity is much much common and accepted by both genders and parties most times.
我住在这里，可以证实出轨现象非常普遍，且大多数情况下男女双方都能接受。
Even my wife has told me 'oh and you can cheat on me, just make sure I never know'
甚至我妻子也告诉过我，"你可以出轨，只要确保我永远不会知道"。
And I lost count of how many friend couples do this on almost a daily basis
我已经数不清有多少对朋友夫妻几乎每天都在这样做。
i-love-asparagus
I mean, almost all nba player lol
我是说，几乎所有 NBA 球员都这样 哈哈
DesperateAdvantage76
My Chinese wife said she'd kill me if I ever did. I wonder what kind of women you're attracting.
我中国妻子说她要是发现我出轨，一定会杀了我。我在想你招惹的是什么样的女人。
EDIT: I'm well aware of the importance of saving face in Chinese culture (to an infuriating degree, it's one of their biggest cultural weaknesses). However, she sincerely meant this, and not just in a "don't let anyone find out" way. Normal people, regardless of country, do not like having unfaithful spouses, regardless of whether they are good at sneaking around.
编辑：我深知在中国文化中"面子"的重要性（那种程度有时真的让人恼火，可以说是他们文化中最大的弱点之一）。不过，她是真心这么说的，不只是那种"别让别人发现"的意思。不管在哪个国家，正常人都不会喜欢伴侣不忠，不管他们是不是善于瞒天过海。
RealisticEmphasis233
Damn. What a place. I would be more afraid of a Western girl clawing my face off if I ever did that.
我去。这地方真是绝了。如果我那样做的话，我更怕西方女孩把我的脸撕碎。
Sad-Barber-2667
I hear Columbia too.
我还听说哥伦比亚也是这样。
RichCommercial104
We lose our virginity a lot later than Americans so I call bs. Look at the STD rates. They are much higher in America. Claiming you know it's true because your ex gf was a hoe is the perfect example for US education.
我们的初夜年龄比美国人晚得多，所以我不信这种说法。看看性病感染率，美国的数字高出不少。因为前女友随便就断定中国人滥交，这恰恰体现了美国教育的“精髓”。
wontforget99
Seems pretty high in China, though. If you ask 10 Chinese people why their relationship ended, maybe 7 will say cheating. If you ask 10 Americans, maybe 4 will say cheating.
不过在中国似乎相当普遍。如果你问十个中国人为什么他们的关系结束了，可能有七个人会说是出轨。而问十个美国人，大概只有四个人会这么说。
bumble_19
Are you confusing China with Japan?
你是不是把中国和日本搞混了？
wontforget99
I live in China and have personally spoken to a number of Chinese women who have been cheated on, so no. That being said, from what I can tell online, the situation in Japan seems similar.
我居住在中国，并曾与几位遭受欺骗的中国女性交谈过，所以答案是否定的。话虽如此，根据我在网上的观察，日本的情况似乎也类似。
daredaki-sama
It’s either much earlier or much later. I know so many underaged girls who live with guys in their 20’s.
要么早得多，要么晚得多。我知道很多未成年女孩和二十多岁的男人同居。
PlsNoNotThat
Their age of consent is 14 for a reason
他们的同意年龄定为 14 岁是有原因的
daredaki-sama
14 year old girl living with a 25 or 27 year old guy is still
一位 14 岁的女孩与 25 或 27 岁的男子同居，
crystalcastles879
Why you butthurt over OP asking a genuine question and their personal experience tho?
你干嘛对提问者诚恳的问题和他们的个人经历感到不爽？
Look up syphilis rate in China btw
顺便查查中国的梅毒发病率
RichCommercial104
Because you dating a hoe is on you, not the whole of China. Da fuq.
因为你约会的是个渣滓，这仅在于你个人，而非整个中国。真是莫名其妙。
Shiriru00
So China has 4x the rate of syphilis compared to Europe because of what? Instant noodles?
那么中国梅毒发病率是欧洲的四倍，原因何在？是因为泡面吗？
RichCommercial104
"Among all university students in China, 26.13% were sexually active." https://jogh.org/2025/jogh-15-04175/
在中国所有大学生中，26.13%有过性行为。 https://jogh.org/2025/jogh-15-04175/
"Around 72-80% of college students in the USA report sexual activity or hookups during their college years." https://healthcenter.uga.edu/5-sexual-health-facts-every-college-student-needs-to-know/
在美国大学生中，约 72-80%的人报告在大学期间有过性行为或约炮经历。 https://healthcenter.uga.edu/5-sexual-health-facts-every-college-student-needs-to-know/
That's a massive difference.
这差距巨大。
Mountain-Rice7224
China does have a pretty big underground sex work economy. If you go to a tier 3 city 80% of massage parlors or ktvs are fronts for prostitution. Also a lot of couples to keep up face will just not divorce even if both sides are cheating, because losing face is quite bad. For my uncle tried to run away with his wife's sister, and they are currently 'happily' married. Granted this isn't really the younger generation more like the 40 to 50 year old couples. Finally this is more of my speculation so feel free to dispute me. Misogyny is still live and well in China, for example a woman that use to live with an ex boyfriend in the same apartment is considered dirty. It is embarrassing for a man to make less than their spouse. It was only 20 years ago when families were killing their girl babies so they can have a chance for a boy baby during the one child policy. Also a divorced mother is much harder to find a second husband compared to a divorced husband finding a second wife in the marriage market.
中国的确拥有相当庞大的地下性产业经济。如果你去到三线城市，80%的按摩店或 KTV 实际上都掩盖着卖淫活动。此外，许多夫妇为了保全面子，即便双方都有出轨行为也不会离婚，因为丢面子是件非常糟糕的事。比如我叔叔曾试图与妻子的妹妹私奔，如今他们仍“幸福”地维持婚姻。当然，这更多体现在 40 到 50 岁左右的夫妻身上，而非年轻一代。最后要说明，这些更多是我的个人观察，欢迎大家提出不同见解。在中国，厌女症依然普遍存在：例如，曾与前任男友同居的女性常被视为不洁；男性若收入低于配偶会感到难堪；就在 20 年前的一孩政策时期，仍有家庭为生男孩而SHAHAI女婴；在婚姻市场上，离婚带孩的母亲远比离婚男性更难找到再婚对象。
StoryLover
I think it depends what you define as cheating. If sleeping with anyone else is automatically considered cheating, then it probably happens the same amount as in western countries.
我认为这取决于你如何定义出轨。如果与他人发生性关系就自动被视作出轨，那么其发生频率很可能与西方国家相似。
However, I do know a few people who allows their husbands to visit prostitutes and what not as long as they come home and no one else knows about it. To quote one of my friends "guys just wants to play, it is fine as long as their heart is still there"
不过，我的确认识一些人，她们允许丈夫嫖娼或寻花问柳，只要丈夫能回家且不让外人知道。引用我一位朋友的话来说：“男人嘛，就是想玩玩，只要心还在家里就行。”
StructureNo7980
Shaming people is common in China as well though for doing something considered bad. So if caught or it get known I could imagine it much worse for women then men.
羞辱行为在中国同样普遍，尤其针对那些被认为是不道德的行为。因此，若被揭露或曝光，我可以想象，女性的处境可能比男性更为糟糕。
gb997
i’ve wondered about this too. but my suspicion is that the rates among Chinese are comparable to anywhere else.
我也曾对此感到好奇。但我怀疑中国人与其他地方相比出轨率相差无几。
GosalynMallard
I think it's less common in younger generations than older because more relationships/marriages are love-based.
我认为年轻一代出轨的情况比老一辈少，因为现在的婚姻更多是基于爱情。
My ex girlfriend's parents both had things on the side, and her mom even had an "official" lover. Their marriage was kind of arranged and they never loved each other.
我的前女友父母各自都有外遇，她母亲甚至还有个"正式"的情人。他们的婚姻基本是包办的，两人从未相爱过。
They however stayed married because that's what a conservative family does. My girlfriend loved me and I can never imagine her cheating on me.
但他们仍然维持婚姻，因为这是保守家庭的惯常做法。我的前女友深爱着我，我无法想象她会背叛我。
grenharo
it's all the same everywhere because every super straight girl has an anime husbando that she will abandon you over anyway lol
到处都一样，因为每个超级直女都会有个二次元老公，随时可能为了这个虚拟男友而甩了你哈哈。