在各国人里美国人特别喜欢和陌生人闲聊，这是发自内心的还是虚情假意？

AnybodySeeMyKeys
People completely misunderstand small talk, dismissing it as something trivial.
Instead, it's basically an exchange of credentials, a way for two strangers to find common ground before moving on to other topics. The sooner you understand this, the better off you'll be.
 
人们完全误解了闲聊，不放在心上，认为它无关紧要。
其实相反，本质上这是在交换资历，是两个陌生人在深入讨论其他话题之前找到共同点的一种方式。你越早理解这一点，对你就越有利。
 
So when an American is indulging in small talk, it's really an invitation. That's all. It's also an incredibly useful way to meet new people and forge new bonds. And, even if it's a fellow passenger on an airliner, it can lead to a rewarding conversation.
Obviously, if someone doesn't want to talk, you stop. But I've had some pretty amazing conversations with complete strangers. You'd be surprised what someone will want to talk about with someone they don't know. Sometimes, it just feels safer.
Because, after all, we're often not in the mood to discuss Nietzsche, Heidegger, and Schopenhauer.
 
所以，当一个美国人参与闲聊时，其实是在发出邀请。仅此而已。这也是结识新人、建立新关系的一种极为有效的方式。就算只是和飞机上的邻座乘客闲聊，也可能发展成一段能给你带来收获的对话。
显然，如果对方不想说话，你就该停止。但我和素不相识的人有过一些相当美妙的对话。人们愿意和不认识的人谈论的话题之丰富，会惊讶到你的。有时候，正因为对方陌生，才更有安全感。
毕竟，我们通常没有心情去讨论什么尼采、海德格尔和叔本华。
 
This is so true. I literally found a new customer for my employer on a flight a couple years ago, complely by accident. I work in aerospace manufacturing and the guy I sat next to happened to be a buyer for an even larger aerospace company. We chatted the whole flight and I gave him a business card. After my vacation he reached out and now we make parts for his company. It was wild, and certainly not my intention when talking to a stranger, but I looked like the hero at work for a while for bringing in a great new customer and I genuinely enjoyed my 4 hour chat with this guy. He was a gun loving Texan and I'm a quite gay New Englander. We likely had very little in common politically but that didn't matter in the moment. We were just two humans stuck inside a metal box 30K feet in the sky and we connected.
 
↘所言极是。几年前，我在某航班上为我的雇主找到了一位新客户，完全是机缘巧合。我在航空制造业工作，而我邻座那位碰巧是一家规模更大的航空公司的采购员。我们聊了一整路，我还给了他一张名片。假期结束后他主动联系上了我，现在我们为他的公司生产零部件。简直不可思议啊，我跟陌生人聊天的时候当然没想过要发展业务什么的，但就因为带来了一位重要的新客户，我在公司里一度成了英雄。而且，我是真心享受和这位先生长达四小时的聊天。他是个酷爱枪支的德州人，而我是个来自新英格兰的基佬。我们在政治立场上可能相去甚远，但这在当时并不重要。我们只是两个被困在三万英尺高空金属盒子里的人类，却搭上了线。
 
On a smaller scale, a chat with the cashier at the grocery store and they might mention that their friend on the meat department is marking down a bunch of ribeye steak this afternoon in order to make room for the Christmas turkeys. It’s not why you say hello, but it can be a nice perk.
 
↘举个更微观的例子，在超市和收银员闲聊，她们可能会提到，肉品区的朋友今天下午准备降价促销一批肋眼牛排，好腾出地方摆放圣诞火鸡。虽然这也不是你打招呼的原因，却是不错的意外收获。
 
This also make sense as to why American engage in it in a way that other countries don't. Finding common ground in Japan, or France, or Germany, or Mexico is fairly easy the majority of the population their ethnicity matches their nationally. The US really is a melting pot people come from so many different cultural, religious, ethnic, etc backgrounds. Small talk is a way to connect those people.
 
↘这也解释了为什么美国人社交的方式与其他国家不同。在日本、法国、德国或墨西哥，寻找共同话题相当容易，因为这些国家的大部分人口其族裔背景与国籍一致。美国其实是一个大熔炉，人们来自各种不同的文化、宗教、种族等背景。闲聊正是勾连各人群的一种方法。
 
yourlittlebirdie
95% of the time it’s genuine. It makes us feel good to have those little moments of connection.
 
十有八九都是真心的。那些不起眼的勾连时刻会让我们身心愉悦。
 
I agree its genuine. If we talk about the cheese in your shopping cart and you tell me that it's an ingredient in your great grandma's recipe book you just found helping clean out the attic of your uncle after he passed. I would totally want to try it too...
 
↘我同意，这是真心实意的。如果我们聊起你购物车里的奶酪，你告诉我说那是刚在叔叔的阁楼里整理遗物时发现的曾祖母食谱里的原料，那我绝对也想尝尝...
 
I feel you! That was the oddest part about visiting Stockholm - no small talk.
 
↘我懂你！这正是斯德哥尔摩之旅最古怪的地方：没有人闲聊。
 
They sent all the talkative Norwegians & Swedes to Minnesota where we descendants are chatty, but still too reserved in the eyes of many Americans
 
↘他们把所有健谈的挪威人和瑞典人送去了明尼苏达州，而我们这些（北欧人）后代虽然爱聊天，但在很多美国人眼里还是太过拘谨了
（译注：明尼苏达州为北欧裔聚居区）
 
This is the odd part that doesn't make sense. I live in an Az town with a lot of retirees and as I meet people in the neighborhood, it's always the folks from the upper midwest that have strong Scandinavian ancestry that I find to be the most friendly and chatty. Did it just happen when they got off the boat in the new country, or maybe something in the drinking water?
 
↘这点还挺奇怪的，就说不通嘛。我住在亚利桑那州的一个镇，那里住着很多退休人士，而在社区里结识的人中，我发现那些来自中西部北边、拥有最多斯堪的纳维亚血统的人是最友善最健谈的。难道他们刚踏上新大陆时就是这种做派？还是饮用水里有什么特殊成分？
 
Haha maybe that’s what they were escaping from. USA took in all the chatty Swedes and the introverts remained home
 
↘哈哈，说不定他们正是在逃离这种特质。美国接收了所有健谈的瑞典人，而那些内向的都留在故土了
 
Neither_Internal_261
As one random American from one of many distinct cultural regions of the nation, I'd say it's impulsive in a "cultural" way, but it is genuine. We have automatic responses to the "greeting questions" we ask each other (Like when we say, "Hey how's it going?") that people from other countries don't understand. but if someone were to give a genuine reply and start telling us about all the sht they were going through, we would typically genuinely care and try to connect/sympathize. We are a nation of strangers so it has always been in our best interest to remind ourselves and each other that we are in this sht together.
 
我是一个普通人，来自美国众多泾渭分明的文化地区中的一个，我倒觉得这种行为某种程度上是以“文化”为表现形式的某种冲动，但却是真心的。对于彼此的“问候语”（比如“嘿，最近怎么样？”），我们会有一些下意识的反应，这是其他国家的人不理解的。但如果有人真心实意地回应，并开始倾诉他们正在经历的各种困顿，我们通常都会真心实意地去关心，并试着与他们建立联系乃至感同身受。我们是一个由陌生人组成的国家，所以提醒自己也提醒彼此我们风雨同舟，始终是最符合我们利益的。
 
PerplexingGrapefruit
I believe it’s genuine. I’ve always seen it as a stepping stone to warm people up and see where they’re at before moving onto deeper topics.
 
我相信这是真心的。我一直都把它看成某种用来暖场的跳板，然后摸清他们的兴趣所在，再进入更深层次的话题。
 
emotions1026
Why are Americans the only friendly culture whose genuineness is questioned constantly?
 
拥有友善待人文化的国家很多，为什么只有美国会不断被人质疑其真实性？
 
squidthief
It’s genuine. We find individuals interesting because we are an individualistic people. They don’t need to check a box of having the same identity group as us to have a conversation.
The only rules are: stranger adults can’t talk to children without an adult present, men talking to women on the street at night is sus, and headphones is a sign the person doesn’t want to talk but probably will anyway if you signal them.
 
这是真心的。我们之所以觉得个体有趣，是因为我们本就是崇尚个人主义的民族。他们在进行对话前，不需要先确认和我们拥有相同的族群认同。
只须遵循几条规则：陌生的成年人不能在没有成年人在场的情况下和儿童交谈；男人在晚间的大街上与女人交谈是可疑的；戴着耳机就表示对方不想说话，但如果你示意，他们可能还是愿意说话的。
 
BossPina420
We literally cannot stop ourselves.
 
我们真的是会不由自主地这么做。
 
Yankee_chef_nen
From as often as we get asked this question, the rest of the world must be a pretty sad place where no one talks to each other.
 
鉴于我们经常被问到这个问题，想必世界其他国家挺惨的吧，人们互相之间都不说话。
 
milee30
The truth is it's a mix.
Many Americans genuinely care.
Many do not but understand this is part of our culture, so make small talk as part of that cultural understanding. Especially in business and sales settings, the willingness to make decent small talk is a determinant of success and one has to do it or face the consequences.
And all the extroverts assume it's the exact.same.thing - we all love to socialize like Golden Retrievers! much to the dismay of the introverts.
 
事实是两者兼而有之。
很多美国人是发自内心地在意这件事。
也有很多美国人不在意，但他们也明白这是我们文化的一部分，所以会出于这种文化理解而加入闲聊。特别是在商务和销售场合，是否愿意进行得体的闲聊是成功与否的决定性因素，你必须做这件事，不然就会承担后果。
而所有外向的人会认为这完全没有区别：我们都像金毛一样热爱社交！而这会让内向的人非常沮丧。
 
PedanticPolymath
I've always suspected this is a result of the very multi-cultureal nature of our nation from the beginning. Interacting with people from different backgrounds can be fraught; it's easy to unintentionally offend them or embarrass yourself due to cultural differences or misunderstanding. Small talk is a great way to "feel out" a stranger from a different background and find points of similarity, to figure out common ground for interaction.
 
我一直怀疑这是源于我们国家自立国以来就具备的多元文化特性。与来自不同背景的人互动可能会让人紧张；由于文化差异或误解，很容易在无意间冒犯他人或是让自己难堪。而闲聊是“试探”背景不同的陌生人、为了进行交流找到共同点的绝佳方法。
 
We are and were a nation built up from all different nationalities. For a century or so there was no "American" identity per-se; before the 19th century there were no "Americans" (obviously there were native peoples here, but I mean in the sense of a unified national/cultural/political identity). In Germany, nearly everyone you met was German; in France, they were nearly all French, etc etc. That would come with a LOT of common identity that was "baked-in". Two random frenchmen would likely have a shared context to interact; played the same childrens games and heard the same fairy-tales, learned the same language and same idioms, ate the same foods, told the same jokes, attended the same churches, had broadly similar world-views, etc etc. From a glance or a word they'd be able to tell from a stranger's manner of dress and comportment where he fit in their social structures, how to properly interact, what topics would probably be rude to discuss and which wouldn't, etc etc.
 
我们过去和现在都是一个由海量不同民族建立起来的国家。约一个世纪以来，并不存在什么真正意义上的“美国人”身份认同；19世纪之前根本不存在什么“美国人”（当然，以前也存在原住民，但我指的是统一的民族/文化/政治身份认同）。在德国，你遇到的几乎都是德国人；在法国，你遇到的几乎都是法国人，诸如此类。这便带来了很多根深蒂固的共同的身份认同。随便两个法国人，很可能拥有共同的交流背景：玩的是同一批儿童游戏，听的是同一批童话故事，学的是同样的语言和习语，吃的是同样的食物，讲的是同样的笑话，去的是同一个教堂，拥有大致类似的世界观等等。他们只需瞄一眼或一句话，就能从陌生人的穿着和举止中判断出他在他们社会结构中的地位，如何恰当地与他们互动，哪些话题可能不礼貌，哪些话题就没问题，等等。
 
In a society made up of a half-dozen or more wildly different cultures, suddenly small talk is important. You need known "safe topics" of conversation that are fairly risk-free, things you can bring up that wont embarrass you or offend them due to a cultural misunderstanding. An idle conversation about unimportant topics can reveal a lot about a person. After talking about the weather for 2-3 minutes waiting for the train, odds are you'll be able to distinguish the stuffy Austrian industrialist from the cheerful and low-brow guy who sold bier and pig knuckles to workmen in his pub (even if you've never been to austria, have no idea about their culture, etc etc).
 
在一个由六种乃至更多种迥然不同的文化组成的社会里，闲聊突然就变得重要起来。你需要一些大家默认的“安全话题”，这些话题相对来说没啥风险，是你可以随意提起，既不会因为文化上的误解而让你尴尬，也不会冒犯对方。一些琐碎的闲聊就能揭示一个人的很多信息。在等火车的时候聊了两三分钟天气，很可能你就能区分出这位是古板的奥地利实业家，还是在酒吧里向工人们卖啤酒和猪肘子的粗人（哪怕你从来没去过奥地利，对他们的文化也一无所知，诸如此类）。
 
Mysterious_Eggplant1
It's genuine in my case. On the rare occasions I'm not chatty and friendly, it's because I'm mad about something.
 
以我的情况来说，这就是真心的。在极少数情况下，如果我不健谈、不友好，那是因为我因为某事生气了。
 
nyki
No idea, but for me it's always been a scxt and very robotic. I'm not doing it to be genuinely social, I'm doing it because I know it's expected of me.
If we're having an actual conversation I can talk your ear off for an hour, but small talk is painful for me.
 
不清楚，但对我来说，这事儿一直都像是在念台词，非常机械。我这么做可不是真心想社交，而是因为我知道别人期望我这样做。
如果我们进行一场真正的对话，我可以滔滔不绝地讲一个小时，但闲聊对我来说挺痛苦的。
 
_higglety
You know how dogs will wag their tails and cats will slow-blx at each other to indicate non-threatening acknowledgement to each other? That's all small talk is. It's just a way to say "Hi, I see you, I'm not a threat. Here we are experiencing the world together."It's does come a genuine place, even if the words "hi how are you" aren't intended to be a literal invitation to a detailed report of your most personal physical and emotional experiences.
 
你知道狗狗会对彼此摇尾巴，猫咪会对彼此眨眼，以示不构成威胁吗？闲聊其实也是这么回事。它只是在说：“嗨，我看到你了，我不构成威胁。我们在这里一起体验这个世界。”就算“嗨，你好吗？”这句话并不是真的想邀请你详细讲述自己最私密的身体和情感体验，它也确实是出于真心的。
 
ilovemicroplastics_
About 50/50 pretty split between the intrinsic introvert extrovert line, though generally introverts self sext themselves out of potential scenarios for socialization so you’re more likely to be around the extroverts. American extroverts LOVE TO TALK. We sometimes just say stuff for no reason to keep the conversation going.
 
内向和外向的比例大约各占一半，不过一般而言，内向者会自己选择不参与社交活动，所以你更有可能遇到外向者。而美国的外向者酷爱说话。我们有时候会毫无来由地讲述一些东西，只是为了让对话继续下去。
 
DoTheRightThing1953
It's genuine in most cases, especially when we're overseas. When traveling, a lot of Americans want to meet locals, especially locals not in the tourist industry.
 
大多数情况下都是真心的，尤其是在海外。很多美国人在出国旅行时都想结识当地人，特别是当地的那些非旅游业从业者。
 
hydrangea_ranger
If I’m doing it at work it’s not genuine. If I’m doing it outside of work I’m probably not because I hate small talk. I understand its purpose but 90% of the time I don’t wanna talk to strangers in any context.
 
如果我在工作场合闲聊，那肯定不是真心的。如果在工作场合之外闲聊，那可能也不是真心的，因为我讨厌闲聊。我理解闲聊的目的，但在90%的情况下，我都不想在任何场合和陌生人讲话。
 
VerucaGotBurned
For me it's social pressure and also just a habit. I don't even like doing it
 
对我来说，这是社会压力，也只是一种习惯。我一点都不喜欢做这种事。
 
TimeMachineNeeded01
It may be regional?
In NY strangers talk to each other all the time, and it’s real in that you’re usually sharing a laugh or commiserating or something. But you’d never ever expect that person to then be like “hey let’s get a cup of coffee together” that would come across as insane. You make your quip, you share your laugh, then you go back to not knowing each other anymore
 
可能是地域性的？
在纽约，陌生人之间总是会互相交谈，而且这种交谈是很真诚的，通常你们会一起开怀大笑，或者互相同情什么的。但你绝对不会指望对方来一句，“嘿，我们一起喝杯咖啡吧”，这听起来会很荒唐。你们抖抖机灵，一起笑笑，然后就回到了互不认识的状态。
 
Jazzlike-Vacation230
Both, but some do still weaponize it for personal gain. so be careful what's said at times.
 
两者兼有，但有些人还是会利用它谋取私利。所以，有些时候说话要谨慎。
 
u/paypermon avatar
East coast genuinely nice people pretending to be assholes. Weather coat assholes pretending to be genuinely nice people. Between the coastal you get a pretty good mix of either or.
 
东海岸人是真的很友善，却喜欢装成混蛋。而西海岸人本就是混蛋，却假装很友善。而非沿海地区则两种人都有，且均匀散布。