你是否曾经被以虚假的借口邀请去吃饭？

Christine Bozarth
Yes. My daughter’s babysitter hosted a “get to know the parents” bbq. It was so the parents of all the kids she babysat could meet. Thought the idea was kind of odd, but my daughter wanted to go and play with her friends, so we went. She used the invite as a ruse for her Pampered Chef party, her daughter set up a table to do “makeovers” to promote herself as an Avon rep, her daughter-in-law was all set up to rep her Scentsy products (back when it was new and just coming out) all in all there was 10 different companies being presented, including her son’s new catering business. She lost several “clients” afterwards. Granted, the food was amazing and all that, but the pressure to buy was ridiculous.

是的。我女儿的保姆举办了一个“认识父母”的烧烤聚会。目的是让她照看的所有孩子的父母都能见面。虽然觉得这个想法有点奇怪，但我女儿想去和她的朋友们玩，所以我们去了。她利用邀请作为她Pampered Chef派对的借口，她的女儿摆了一张桌子做“化妆”来推销自己作为雅芳代表，她的儿媳则准备推销她的Scentsy产品（当时它还是新产品，刚刚推出），总共有10家不同的公司在展示，包括她儿子的新餐饮业务。之后她失去了几个“客户”。诚然，食物很棒，但购买的压力是荒谬的。

Lyn Patterson
It was an Open House Party. Our daughter said it was for friends of theirs, and many people we had met from their recent wedding would be there. So we thought it would be nice to see them, and mingle with new friends, since it was in a town close to us and our daughter and son-in-law lived farther away. When we got to the address, it was a very nice home in a lovely neighborhood, with a big landscaped yard but there wasn’t many cars in the driveway or on the street. We thought maybe it was more of a drop in thing, and our daughter’s car was there. We go to the front door and ring the bell! Our daughter and son-in-law answer the door with a flourish and say- WELCOME TO OUR NEW HOME!

这是一个开放日派对。我们的女儿说这是为他们的朋友们准备的，许多我们最近在他们婚礼上见过的人也会来。所以我们觉得去见见他们，和新朋友交流一下会很好，因为派对在一个离我们很近的镇上，而我们的女儿和女婿住得更远。当我们到达地址时，那是一个非常漂亮的房子，位于一个可爱的社区，有一个大景观庭院，但车道上或街上没有很多车。我们以为这可能更像是一个随到随走的活动，而且我们女儿的车也在那里。我们走到前门按了门铃！我们的女儿和女婿热情地开门并说——欢迎来到我们的新家！

Well of course we were shocked and surprised and pleased!! They bought the house, moved in, and we didn’t have to move any boxes. (Which we had helped with on several occasions!) They said it was very hard to keep this secret but they wanted us to know they were adults and could do this on their own! They didn’t say so but I think they didn’t want us to be giving our input, negative or otherwise! Which is fine! It is a terrific home and we were happy to have them move closer to us!

当然，我们感到震惊、惊喜和高兴！！他们买了房子，搬了进去，而我们不用搬任何箱子。（我们之前还帮过几次忙！）他们说保守这个秘密非常困难，但他们想让我们知道他们是成年人，可以自己完成这件事！他们没有明说，但我觉得他们不想让我们提供意见，无论是正面的还是负面的！这没关系！这是一个很棒的家，我们很高兴他们搬得离我们更近了！

Rachel K
Yes! Our neighbor, a pastor, invited us over when his wife was away. They had very old fashioned roles, she did housework, he earned money. When we arrived he asked my husband to help him install a hanging lamp. He asked me to start dinner. All he had was stuff for salad. I went home and got some steak and potatoes, cooked it while they worked. After dinner i did the dishes and he told me to take out the trash. I said “ Excuse me?”. He laughed and told me to take it out its “womens work”. So not wanting to alienate someone we had to share an property line with, i did. When my husband and i left He turned to me and said “ What the heck was that?”. I said, he took advantage of our kindness! He got free labor, a free dinner, and free maid service! We never accepted another invitation for dinner! This is the same guy who adopted an African baby so he could “ Get over being a bigot, like my father”. Cant make this stuff up!

是的！我们的邻居，一位牧师，在他妻子不在的时候邀请我们过去。他们有着非常传统的角色分工，她做家务，他赚钱。我们到达后，他让我丈夫帮他安装一盏吊灯。他让我开始做晚餐。他只有做沙拉的食材。我回家拿了一些牛排和土豆，在他们工作的时候做了饭。晚餐后我洗了碗，他让我去倒垃圾。我说“不好意思？”。他笑着说让我去倒，因为这是“女人的工作”。为了不疏远我们不得不共享地界的人，我照做了。当我和我丈夫离开时，他转向我说“那是什么鬼？”。我说，他利用了我们的善意！他得到了免费的劳动力，免费的晚餐，还有免费的清洁服务！我们再也没有接受过晚餐的邀请！就是这个人，他收养了一个非洲婴儿，这样他就可以“摆脱像我父亲那样的偏见”。真是编都编不出来！

Susan Foster Grayson
Sadly, yes. My college roommate and I were regular attendees at a local church. We became quite active, and volunteered to teach the children’s classes and even to clean the church building (it was a fairly small church). My roommate and I were invited to come eat and “hang out” at the parents’ hone of our friend one Sunday evening after services at church. This wasn’t unusual as several of the older couples treated the college kids to home-cooked meal fairly regularly, but we were surprised that we were the only students invited that evening. We ate our meal, and were having a good time visiting with their son and his girlfriend, when all of a sudden the dad said “well, I guess you are wondering why we called this meeting”. I was completely caught off guard, but said something like “to eat?” At that point, he started lecturing us, saying we shouldn’t be going home for the weekends to see our parents because that meant we missed church services, even going so far as to suggest we were lying about where we were going. Even worse, he allowed his 19-yr-old son and girlfriend to judge us, too. It was horrible. We both held it together, but both us cried on the way home, feeling completely ambushed.

遗憾的是，是的。我和我的大学室友经常参加当地的一个教堂活动。我们变得非常活跃，自愿教授儿童课程，甚至打扫教堂（那是一个相当小的教堂）。一个周日的晚上，在教堂活动结束后，我和室友被邀请到我们朋友父母家吃饭并“闲逛”。这并不罕见，因为有几对年长的夫妇经常请大学生们吃家常菜，但让我们惊讶的是，那天晚上我们是唯一被邀请的学生。我们吃了饭，和他们的儿子及其女朋友聊得很开心，突然那位父亲说：“我想你们一定在好奇我们为什么叫你们来。”我完全措手不及，但说了类似“来吃饭？”的话。这时，他开始教训我们，说我们不应该周末回家看父母，因为这意味着我们错过了教堂活动，甚至暗示我们在撒谎。更糟糕的是，他还让他19岁的儿子和女朋友也来评判我们。这太可怕了。我们都忍住了，但在回家的路上都哭了，感觉完全被伏击了。

It was my first experience with toxic Christianity, and it changed how I looked at authority figures forever.

这是我第一次接触到有毒的基督教，它永远改变了我对权威人物的看法。

SafTheGreat
Late at night my cousin called me asking me if I wanted to take a quick bite with her and her friend ( I didn’t know her friend). I told her yes of course and that I would wait for them to pick me up.

深夜，我表妹打电话问我是否想和她以及她的朋友（我不认识她的朋友）一起吃点东西。我告诉她当然愿意，并会等她们来接我。

they came to pick me up and we went to a small snack bar/ burger place. Her friend went to the bathroom and my cousin turned to me and said “ She invited me to go have a sleepover at her house, I called you so you could get me out of this situation I want to go home”.

他们来接我，然后我们去了一家小吃店/汉堡店。她的朋友去了洗手间，我的表妹转向我说：“她邀请我去她家过夜，我打电话给你是想让你帮我摆脱这个局面，我想回家。”

So shortly after we ate, we went to the girl’s house ( my cousin’s stuff was there cause she spent the afternoon there). …It was a mess… It had an awful smell and the floor, walls, counter… everything was dirty.

我们刚吃完不久，就去了那个女孩的家（我表妹的东西在那里，因为她下午在那里度过）。……那里一团糟……有一股难闻的气味，地板、墙壁、柜台……一切都很脏。

I turned to my cousin and purposely said loud enough so the girl could hear me “ I will sleep at your house tonight so I will call a cab for us”. The girl flipped out. She started yelling saying that my cousin was supposed to sleep here and that I’m stealing her and that I ruined their night. She then said to my cousin “ I drove to go get your F*****k cousin just so she could steal you from me and be a bitch”

我转向我的表亲，故意说得足够大声，让那个女孩能听到：“我今晚会睡在你家，所以我会为我们叫一辆出租车。”那个女孩气炸了。她开始大喊大叫，说我的表亲应该睡在这里，说我在偷走她，说我毁了他们的夜晚。然后她对我的表亲说：“我开车去接你那个该死的表亲，结果她却把你从我身边偷走，真是个贱人。”

Anyways she went crazy and started insulting and saying she never should’ve pick me up because I was a party pooper …. I tried to calm her down and saying everything was my fault so she wouldn’t put the blame on my cousin.

不管怎样，她发疯了，开始侮辱我，说她不应该接我，因为我是一个扫兴的人……我试图让她冷静下来，说一切都是我的错，这样她就不会把责任推到我表弟身上。

The cab arrived. I dropped my cousin at her house and told her not to worry to much about tonight.

出租车到了。我把表妹送到她家，并告诉她不要太担心今晚的事。

Safe to say my cousin isn’t friend with that girl anymore.

可以说我表弟和那个女孩不再是朋友了。

Berkeley Hunt
Not dinner, but a sleepover. A friend told me that her parents were going to Europe later that year and when they did, would I stay over at her house. I said sure.

不是晚餐，而是过夜。一位朋友告诉我，她的父母那年晚些时候要去欧洲，当他们去的时候，我是否愿意在她家过夜。我说当然可以。

We then drove down to her place—where, to my consternation, she announced that tonight was the night and I’d be staying. It was truly weird, because she insisted that I had agreed to it but hadn’t told me to bring a toothbrush or change of clothes.

然后我们开车去了她的住处——在那里，令我惊恐的是，她宣布今晚就是那个晚上，而我会留下来。这真的很奇怪，因为她坚持说我同意了，但却没有告诉我带牙刷或换洗衣服。

It got weirder. She refused to drive me back home. And her father was angry when I asked to phone my parents for a ride. I mean really, really angry. Finally she agreed to drive me back home.

事情变得更奇怪了。她拒绝开车送我回家。当我要求打电话给我父母来接我时，她的父亲非常生气，真的非常生气。最后，她同意开车送我回家。

It took me years to figure out that he was a sexual predator and if she brought me home, then he’d abuse me and not her.

我花了多年时间才意识到他是一个性侵犯者，如果她带我回家，那么他会虐待我而不是她。

Violet Sidebotham
I was invited by a Filipino friend at work. He told me it was his birthday and we are going to have lunch with fellow Filipinos . He asked me would you like to meet some Filipinos? I told him sure that would be nice, during that time I’d been in California for 11 years . Back then I never socialize with Filipinos so it was kind of interesting for me. Anyway, time fast he said he was waiting for some people to arrived . I met 3 Filipino women who was his friends and I think also an associate with his other job . He said before we eat there will be some presentation to show us . I told myself that’s something new for a birthday party. It turn out he was selling different type of insurance It was not his real birthday it was just an excuse so I will come over. Anyway, I don’t like to be rude I stayed in the presentation and after lunch I told him I have things to do and I have to go . Since then I never talked to him and blocked his phone number. Thank God he retired and I don’t worked in that Company no more . So we don’t see each other anymore .

我被一位菲律宾同事邀请去参加他的生日午餐，他说会和其他菲律宾朋友一起。他问我是否想认识一些菲律宾人，我说当然，那会很有趣，因为那时我在加州已经待了11年，但从未与菲律宾人社交过。时间过得很快，他说他在等一些人到来。我见到了三位菲律宾女性，她们是他的朋友，可能也是他其他工作的同事。他说在吃饭之前会有个展示给我们看。我心想这生日派对还挺新鲜的。结果他是在推销各种保险，其实那天并不是他真正的生日，只是个借口让我过去。不过，我不想显得无礼，就留下来听了展示，吃完午饭后我告诉他我还有事得走了。从那以后，我再也没和他说话，还把他的电话号码拉黑了。幸好他退休了，我也不在那家公司工作了，所以我们再也没见过面。

Lori Cashmore
My son and daughter-in-law would periodically ask me to go to lunch, ie for birthdays, if he had a day off, etc. Ok, hubs is working out of state so Sunday brunch sounds good and being nice outside, he suggested that. While waiting for our food, he showed me a pic on his phone with their dog, a white stuffed rocking bear and a frxd pic on a small rug in a bedroom. The frxd pic was an ultrasound with March 2020 on it that took me a minute to grasp that photo. After I finally figured it out, I was one of those overly excited grandmas-to-be! Which is why he suggested outdoors lol. He knew how I’d react! She’s my first (and only) grand baby. That was the best false pretense!!!

我的儿子和儿媳会定期邀请我去吃午餐，比如生日、如果他休息日等。好的，丈夫在外州工作，所以周日早午餐听起来不错，而且外面天气很好，他建议了。在等餐的时候，他给我看了他手机上的照片，照片里有他们的狗、一只白色的填充摇椅熊和卧室小地毯上的一张装裱照片。那张装裱照片是一张超声波照片，上面写着2020年3月，我花了一分钟才明白那张照片。当我终于明白过来时，我成了那种过度兴奋的准奶奶！这就是为什么他建议在户外的原因，他知道我会有什么反应！她是我的第一个（也是唯一一个）孙女。那是最好的借口！！！

Susan D Smith
Gus phoned me out of a clear blue sky to invite me to his apartment for a party. We’d met for a blind date, went out a couple times, didn’t continue. Nice guy, but not for me. We parted amicably without any discussion, just neither one of us bothered to call the other again.

格斯突然打电话邀请我去他的公寓参加派对。我们曾通过相亲认识，约会了几次，但没有继续下去。他是个好人，但不适合我。我们友好地分手了，没有任何讨论，只是我们都没有再联系对方。

Several months later, this random phone call. I shrugged. I honestly figured he had a friend he wanted to set me up with.

几个月后，这通随机的电话。我耸了耸肩。说实话，我以为他有个朋友想介绍给我。

When I showed up at the apartment complex, a woman blocked my way in the parking lot, making it obvious she was flagging me down. When I rolled down my window, she invited me to a party. Giving me Gus’s apartment number. She promised music, food, beer.

当我到达公寓大楼时，一位女士在停车场拦住了我，明显是在示意我停下。当我摇下车窗时，她邀请我去参加一个派对，并给了我Gus的公寓号。她承诺会有音乐、食物和啤酒。

Okay, this is getting weird …

好的，这变得有点奇怪了……

I parked and knocked on Gus’s door. He invited me in, and there were maybe fifteen people scattered through the living room and a dining table covered with heavy hors d‘oeuvres and cold beer and sodas in the fridge. Light music, no conversation. It seemed a little awkward, like none of these people knew each other?

我停好车，敲了敲格斯家的门。他邀请我进去，客厅里大约有十五个人分散坐着，餐桌上摆满了丰盛的开胃小菜，冰箱里有冰镇啤酒和汽水。播放着轻音乐，但没有人交谈。气氛似乎有点尴尬，好像这些人彼此都不认识？

The woman who had accosted me in the parking lot arrived with her business associate and set up an easel and a flip pad, and proceeded to make the pitch for whatever multilevel marketing scheme she was selling.

在停车场拦住我的那个女人和她的商业伙伴一起到达，并架起了一个画架和一个翻页板，然后开始推销她所销售的多层次营销计划。

I ate enough of Gus’s food that I didn’t need dinner. I felt like he owed me that much to compensate for the gasoline I’d burned.

我吃了足够多的Gus的食物，以至于不需要吃晚饭了。我觉得他欠我这么多，以补偿我烧掉的汽油。

Never heard from the idiot again.

再也没听到那个白痴的消息。

Elizabeth Beck
Back in the ‘70’s, I was invited to go on a picnic with my normal group of friends and we went out to the C&O canal outside of DC up the Potomac. We were all told to bring one dish to share with the other (19 of us total) and our own utensils. Drinks would be provided and we could bring chairs or blankets or whatever. Got there and there were a couple of long tables under a tent, some extra chairs, coolers and someone none of us knew. I looked at my boyfriend and he shrugged. Turns out, it was a surprise wedding and the stranger was to perform the marriage. We had one great party for that afternoon (no alcohol allowed and most of us didn’t drink much anyway) and we took the whole thing back to one of the houses we all hung out at and partied until the next day. Best invite every.

回到70年代，我被邀请和我的朋友们一起去野餐，我们去了华盛顿特区外的波托马克河上的C&O运河。我们都被要求带一道菜与其他人分享（我们共有19人），并自带餐具。饮料会提供，我们可以带椅子或毯子之类的。到了那里，帐篷下有几张长桌，一些额外的椅子，冷却器，还有一个我们都不认识的人。我看了看我的男朋友，他耸了耸肩。原来，这是一场惊喜婚礼，那个陌生人是要主持婚礼的。那天下午我们举行了一场盛大的派对（不允许喝酒，而且我们大多数人也不怎么喝酒），我们把整个活动带到了我们经常聚会的其中一所房子里，一直玩到第二天。这是有史以来最好的邀请。

Sean Cox
Hah yeah false everything is about right! I haven't thought about this for years until I saw the question. While back in college I was invited to somewhat of a friend's “personal and private party" for his birthday. It was a bit odd because we were just acquaintances, not really “friends". Anyways he said I would have a blast that his parents were gone for the weekend and that the fun was unlimited. I admit I was skeptical, especially since I was autistic, and he knew it. I thought I should try and get out more, he seemed legit, and maybe he was just trying to befriend me. So I said I would come.

哈哈，是的，一切都是对的！直到看到这个问题，我才想起这件事。几年前在大学时，我被邀请参加一个朋友的“个人和私人派对”庆祝他的生日。这有点奇怪，因为我们只是熟人，并不算是“朋友”。无论如何，他说我会玩得很开心，因为他父母周末不在家，乐趣无限。我承认我持怀疑态度，尤其因为我是自闭症患者，而他也知道这一点。我想我应该尝试多出去走走，他看起来是认真的，也许他只是想和我交朋友。所以我说我会去。

Let's just say I high tailed it out of there as fast as I could go. I didn't want to be seen or caught anywhere around that area. My family would kill me and my friends probably would disown me. Later on in the week he came by and said I missed one heck of a party asking what happened. I just said I had some important business come up and got home too late to make it. Ok well I'm having another dinner in a few weeks come join me! Oh, sorry man I have plans for that weekend (and every weekend after).

这么说吧，我以最快的速度逃离了那里。我不想在那个地方被看到或抓住。我的家人会杀了我，我的朋友们也可能会和我绝交。后来那一周他过来，说我错过了一个超棒的派对，问我发生了什么。我只是说我有一些重要的事情要处理，回家太晚了，没能赶上。好吧，几周后我还会再举办一次晚宴，来参加吧！哦，抱歉，那个周末（以及之后的每个周末）我都有安排了。

Donna Veit Polanski
it wasn’t a dinner, but we were invited to someone’s house who insisted we come, but wouldn’t tell us why. he was very mysterious but hinted it was going to be amazing. we said we were going hiking that day at a beautiful state park near us, and he would not take no for an answer. we reluctantly agreed but said we’re coming right from the park. we walked in dressed in hiking boots, flannel shirts, and jeans to find everyone in dresses and suits. we still didn’t know what was going on. eventually, we all sat down and someone stood in front and started an Amway presentation!! we walked out as he started saying “I can’t believe you dragged us here for THIS!” We were pretty upset.

那不是一顿晚餐，但我们被邀请到某人的家里，他坚持要我们去，却不肯告诉我们原因。他非常神秘，但暗示这将是非常棒的。我们说那天我们要去附近一个美丽的州立公园徒步旅行，但他不接受拒绝。我们勉强同意了，但表示我们会直接从公园过来。我们穿着登山靴、法兰绒衬衫和牛仔裤走进去，却发现每个人都穿着礼服和西装。我们仍然不知道发生了什么。最终，我们都坐了下来，有人站在前面开始了一个安利（Amway）的演示！！当他开始说“我不敢相信你竟然把我们拉到这里来就是为了这个！”时，我们走了出去。我们非常生气。

Cheryl Dwyer
My ex in-laws made a big production of a big family get together at his brother's home, and a potluck. You figure 7 kids, their spouses, their kids, and my mother in law, yeah, there were a lot people there. It was awful, the noise gave me a headache, and I'm not big on crowds. Turns out, I was told by many in-laws in an ‘intervention’ of sorts, that I was a pretentious snob, I ate too much, I was an embarrassment to the clan. That's why they did this… to shame me. Even my laugh was considered ‘too loud’ and ‘unladylike’. I left in tears, and heard the comments all the way to our car. My first husband passed away 18 years ago, I miss him every day, I wonder if I was something to be ashamed of when he was alive. I do not laugh out loud, ever. After this when we went to one of his family's homes, I would not eat anything. I paid, in cash, for every cup of coffee. I cleaned the kitchen after every meal, so no one could complain. My daughter has often told me how embarrassing I am to be around. I didn't say any of this for sympathy, I'm not an ‘attention seeking sympathy whore’. I only ask that in anger words are often spoken that, once they're out, can never be retracted, so please be mindful. Harsh words hurt badly and leave scars on the soul. To my in-laws (I have a niece on Quora who avidly reads every thing I say and reports back to her aunt), all I can say is the stories were reported back. I am shunned and banned from their family.

我的前姻亲们在他兄弟家举办了一场盛大的家庭聚会，还带上了各自拿手的菜肴。你想想，7个孩子，他们的配偶，他们的孩子，还有我的婆婆，是的，那里有很多人。那真是太糟糕了，噪音让我头疼，而且我不喜欢人群。结果，我被许多姻亲以一种‘干预’的方式告知，我是一个自命不凡的势利小人，我吃得太多，我是家族的耻辱。这就是他们这么做的原因……为了羞辱我。甚至我的笑声也被认为是‘太大声’和‘不够淑女’。我哭着离开，一路听到那些评论直到我们上车。我的第一任丈夫18年前去世了，我每天都想念他，我想知道他在世时我是否也是令人羞耻的存在。我再也不会大声笑了。之后我们去他家人家里时，我什么也不吃。我每一杯咖啡都用现金支付。每顿饭后我都会打扫厨房，这样没人能抱怨。我女儿经常告诉我，和我在一起很尴尬。我说这些不是为了博取同情，我不是一个‘寻求同情的婊子’。我只要求在愤怒时说的话，一旦说出口，就永远无法收回，所以请谨慎。严厉的话语伤害很大，会在灵魂上留下疤痕。对我的姻亲们（我在Quora上有一个侄女，她热衷于阅读我所说的一切，并向她的姑姑汇报），我只能说，这些故事都被汇报回去了。我被他们家族排斥和禁止。

Ellen Sandbeck
Yes. Many many years ago, my then boyfriend, now husband, and I were invited to dinner by the mother of a friend of my boyfriend’s. (This guy was an East Coast snob, and I am from a non-wealthy, non-religious Jewish family, this is relevant.) The friend’s mother was visiting from Connecticut for a month, and her son was desperate to keep her entertained and diverted. Anyway, this woman whom I had never met before, spent TWO HOURS trying to convince me that I should convert to Christianity, for the sake of my future children (my husband is the least religious human I have ever met, but his grandfather was an Episcopalian minister). After two hours, I finally snapped, and told this woman that I thought Christianity was the source of all the evil in the world. She finally shut up.

是的。很多很多年前，我当时的男朋友，也就是现在的丈夫，和我被他的一个朋友的母亲邀请去吃饭。（这个朋友是个东海岸的势利眼，而我来自一个不富裕、非宗教的犹太家庭，这一点很重要。）这位朋友的母亲从康涅狄格州来探望一个月，她的儿子非常想让她开心和分心。总之，这个我从未见过的女人花了两个小时试图说服我，为了我未来的孩子，我应该改信基督教（我丈夫是我见过的最不宗教的人，但他的祖父是圣公会牧师）。两个小时后，我终于忍不住了，告诉这个女人我认为基督教是世界上所有邪恶的根源。她终于闭嘴了。

Christopher Valdez
Not false pretenses, exactly. And I did the inviting. But due to cultural misunderstandings, it took me a while to realize why I was there.

并非完全是虚假的借口。而且是我发出的邀请。但由于文化上的误解，我花了一些时间才意识到我为什么会在那里。

I needed help from a co-worker once. I should mention that he was Filipino. After the event, I treated him to a nice lunch. And a few days later, he invited me to dinner at his place.

有一次我需要一位同事的帮助。我应该提到他是菲律宾人。事后，我请他吃了一顿丰盛的午餐。几天后，他邀请我去他家吃晚饭。

My friend, his wife, his son, his daughter, and his mother all lived in the same apartment. I was very confused, and insulted, when my friend’s mother and son ate their dinner in the kitchen. I felt like they did not want to eat with me.

我的朋友、他的妻子、他的儿子、他的女儿和他的母亲都住在同一间公寓里。当我朋友的母亲和儿子在厨房吃晚饭时，我感到非常困惑和受辱。我觉得他们不想和我一起吃饭。

So me, my friend, his wife, and his daughter sat and ate a fish stew and watched a martial arts movie. The movie starred Jet Li, it was Chinese language, but dubbed in Tagalog, with subtitles in Japanese, Korean, and Thai. No English. But it was a martial arts movie, so the plot wasn’t that hard to figure out.

所以，我、我的朋友、他的妻子和他的女儿坐下来吃了一顿鱼汤，并看了一部功夫电影。这部电影由李连杰主演，是中文的，但用塔加洛语配音，字幕有日语、韩语和泰语。没有英语。但这是一部功夫电影，所以情节并不难理解。

I invited my friend, his wife, and his daughter to dinner on my next day off. I didn’t bother to invite the rude folks in the kitchen.

我邀请了我的朋友、他的妻子和女儿在我下一个休息日共进晚餐。我没有费心去邀请厨房里那些粗鲁的人。

I took them to Denny’s. And after the meal, my friend suggested that after I dropped him and his wife at home for the night, I might take his daughter to the Stratosphere and take her on the roller coaster.

我带他们去了Denny's餐厅。用餐后，我的朋友建议，在我送他和他的妻子回家过夜后，我可以带他的女儿去Stratosphere，并带她坐过山车。

Suddenly, I realized that I was on a date. A supervised date, in accordance with their traditions. The girl was 16 and I was twelve years older, but her father was matchmaking between us.

突然，我意识到我在约会。这是一次按照他们传统的监督约会。女孩16岁，而我比她大12岁，但她的父亲在为我们牵线搭桥。

I had a second job and I was expected in a few hours, so I couldn’t follow up on the date, but it has remained with me as a caution.

我有第二份工作，几小时后就要去上班，所以无法继续约会，但这件事一直作为警示留在我心中。

Kirsty Williams
Not just dinner but a holiday!

不仅仅是晚餐，而是一个假期！

My son & dil invited my husband and I to go on a week's holiday with them & their 2 girls, aged 4 & 2, and they were paying. We were excited to be spending a whole week with them and immediately said yes. Turned out they just wanted babysitters for the evening's so they could go to all the shows on their own! But still, we got precious time with the girls so we didn't mind too much and if they'd bothered to tell/ask us, we would have still said yes and wouldn't have been annoyed at how they behaved. It was par for the course with the Dil though, she's used manipulation and emotional blackmail ever since the eldest was born.

我的儿子和儿媳邀请我和我丈夫和他们以及他们4岁和2岁的两个女儿一起去度一个星期的假，而且他们支付费用。我们很高兴能和他们一起度过整整一周，并立即答应了。结果他们只是想要我们晚上照看孩子，这样他们就可以独自去看所有的演出！不过，我们还是和女孩们度过了宝贵的时光，所以我们并不太介意。如果他们事先告诉我们或询问我们，我们仍然会答应，也不会对他们的行为感到恼火。不过，这对儿媳来说是常态，自从大女儿出生以来，她就一直在使用操纵和情感勒索的手段。

Countess von Schadenfreude
Well, there was the time back around age 22 when I thought I was meeting my Grandma for dinner at her favorite swanky restaurant. She was a very beautiful, well-traveled woman- an Auntie Mame type if you will. When I arrived at the restaurant, there sat Grandma waiting. But right away she gestured to the Maitre d' to seat the handsome young guy at the bar at our table. That bewildered guy who thought he was waiting for a blind date arranged by his mother. The same mother who was an interior design client of my Grandma. Oy! Fortunately, he and I later agreed we didn't have much in common other than a couple of misguided matchmakers.

嗯，大约在我22岁的时候，有一次我以为我是和我奶奶在她最喜欢的豪华餐厅共进晚餐。她是一个非常美丽、见多识广的女人——可以说是像Auntie Mame那样的人物。当我到达餐厅时，奶奶已经在那里等着了。但她立刻示意餐厅领班把酒吧里那个帅气的年轻人安排到我们桌。那个困惑的年轻人以为他在等待他母亲安排的相亲。而那位母亲正是我奶奶的室内设计客户。哎呀！幸运的是，后来我们俩都同意，除了两位误入歧途的媒人外，我们并没有太多共同点。