当你发现有人说谎时，最让你感到满意的一次经历是什么时候？

Chere Dahlstrom
Years ago, my soon to be ex husband and I were in the last and final attempt of trying to come to a guardianship agreement over our 3 small children before it went to supreme court. (a place I DID NOT want to go).

几年前，我和即将成为前夫的丈夫在最高法院之前，最后一次尝试就我们三个小孩的监护权达成协议。（那是我绝对不想去的地方）。

So there in the room, was the judge, his secretary, my ex and I.

所以在那间屋子里，有法官、他的秘书、我的前任和我。

Almost every question the judge asked my ex was answered with a lie. I never said anything, but the tears wouldn't stop welling in my eyes. All I could think was, “why can't this man for once, just set his anger and stupid pride aside, and just agree to the wishes of what our children want?”

法官几乎每一个问题，我的前夫都用谎言回答。我什么也没说，但眼泪止不住地在眼眶里打转。我唯一能想到的是，“为什么这个男人不能放下他的愤怒和愚蠢的骄傲，哪怕就一次，同意我们孩子的愿望呢？”

The judge finally looked at me and said, “What are your desires for how this should be settled?”

法官最后看着我说：“你希望这件事如何解决？”

My response: “I just want what's best for our kids. I believe it should be up to them if they want to visit him or not… I don't believe they should be forced.”

我的回应：“我只想为我们的孩子争取最好的。我认为是否去拜访他应该由他们自己决定……我不认为他们应该被强迫。”

Judge: “You are very quiet and I detect no animosity from you, I want to ask you why there has been a communication breakdown between you and your husband.”

法官：“你非常安静，我从你身上察觉不到任何敌意，我想问你为什么你和你丈夫之间会出现沟通障碍。”

Because when I try to talk to him, he just yells.

因为当我试图和他交谈时，他只是大喊大叫。

“THAT IS A LIE !!!” My ex yells at the TOP of his lungs..

“那是谎言！！！”我的前任声嘶力竭地喊道。

The judge ruled “Visitation to be granted as per the children's wishes.”

法官裁定“探视权应根据孩子的意愿授予。”

Julia L
When my daughter was in first grade, she didn’t know many kids in her class starting out. At the beginning of the year, she only wanted to play with her best friend from kindergarten, “Mary,” at recess. They were in different classes for 1st grade but had recess at the same time.

当我女儿上一年级时，她一开始并不认识班上的很多孩子。在学年开始时，她只想在课间休息时和她幼儿园时最好的朋友“玛丽”一起玩。她们在一年级时被分到了不同的班级，但课间休息时间是一样的。

A month or so into the school year, Mary’s mom came to talk to me at pick-up time. She explained, very calmly, that my daughter was being too clingy. My daughter insisted Mary play with her every day and pouted when Mary wanted to play with someone else. She made it clear my daughter’s behavior was upsetting and stressful for Mary, and I assured her I would work to fix this. I spoke with my daughter about it, and, after a lot of crying, she agreed to take a break from Mary at recess.

开学大约一个月后，玛丽的妈妈在接孩子时来找我谈话。她非常平静地解释说，我的女儿太粘人了。我女儿坚持每天都要和玛丽一起玩，当玛丽想和别人玩时，她就会撅嘴。她明确表示，我女儿的行为让玛丽感到不安和压力，我向她保证我会努力解决这个问题。我和我女儿谈了这件事，经过一番哭泣后，她同意在课间休息时暂时不和玛丽一起玩。

The next day and the day after, I checked in with Mary’s mom. She said it was going much better.

第二天和第三天，我与玛丽的妈妈进行了联系。她说情况好多了。

The following week, Mary’s mom came to find me at school pickup again. She said Mary had reported that yesterday, my daughter had insisted Mary play with her, and when Mary had said no, my daughter had gone to the recess teacher and said that Mary had hit her, and Mary had gotten in trouble for something she hadn’t done.

接下来的那一周，玛丽的妈妈在接孩子时又来找我。她说玛丽报告说，昨天我女儿坚持要玛丽和她一起玩，当玛丽拒绝后，我女儿去找了课间老师，说玛丽打了她，结果玛丽因为没做过的事情而惹上了麻烦。

I was immediately suspicious. My daughter was socially immature at the time and very “bossy,” but that type of behavior wasn’t her. (I also knew from some incidents in kindergarten that Mary had a habit of being, well, “inventive.”)

我立刻起了疑心。我女儿当时在社交上还不成熟，而且非常“专横”，但那种行为并不像她。（我也从幼儿园的一些事件中知道，玛丽有“编造”的习惯。）

Mary’s mother was very upset and told me my daughter’s behavior was entirely unacceptable and that the incident had been traumatizing for Mary. She asked what I was going to do about it. I responded, as calmly as possible, “At this point, I don’t know that this event happened,” and assured her I would look into it. Mary’s mother was unhappy with my response.

玛丽的母亲非常沮丧，告诉我我女儿的行为完全不可接受，而且这件事对玛丽造成了创伤。她问我打算怎么处理。我尽可能平静地回答：“目前，我还不知道这件事是否真的发生了，”并向她保证我会调查此事。玛丽的母亲对我的回答感到不满。

I later received a text from her husband in which he stated, “My child will not be bullied.”

后来我收到了她丈夫的一条短信，他在短信中写道：“我的孩子不会被欺负。”

I spoke with my daughter about what Mary had reported, and my daughter swore she hadn’t done it. In fact, she said, the only time she had ever “told on anyone” to the recess teacher was when one boy had kicked another boy in the crotch.

我和我的女儿谈了玛丽报告的事情，我的女儿发誓她没有做过。事实上，她说，她唯一一次向课间老师“告发”别人是在一个男孩踢了另一个男孩的裆部的时候。

I told Mary’s mother what my daughter had said. Could it be that Mary was mistaken? Ten minutes later, Mary’s mother texted:

我告诉玛丽的母亲我女儿所说的话。难道玛丽是误会了吗？十分钟后，玛丽的母亲发短信说：

“Mary just admitted she made it up. Someone’s going to bed without dessert tonight!”

玛丽刚刚承认她编造了这件事。今晚有人没有甜点吃了！

A few minutes later, after I failed to respond to her text, she wrote:

几分钟后，在我没有回复她的短信后，她写道：

“Sorry.”

对不起。

Jim Albright
For about a year, while I was single, I dated a very attractive lady. I met her online. She advertised herself as being a non-smoker. Whenever we would go dancing, she would excuse herself and go to the restroom. I could smell the smoke on her when she returned I finally asked her, and she confessed that she was a smoker. I met several women during my single years who held themselves out to be non-smokers, who indeed were smokers, once we met, I always found this very amusing.

大约有一年的时间，在我单身的时候，我和一位非常迷人的女士约会。我是在网上认识她的。她自称不吸烟。每当我们去跳舞时，她都会借口去洗手间。当她回来时，我能闻到她身上的烟味。我终于问她，她承认自己吸烟。在我单身的那些年里，我遇到了几位自称不吸烟的女性，实际上她们都是吸烟者，一旦我们见面，我总是觉得这非常有趣。

I was in my 40s and 50s back then. I found it so amusing how so many women would post their high school photo? They certainly had changed in 30 years!

那时我四五十岁。我发现很多女性会发布她们的高中照片，这让我觉得很有趣！她们在30年里确实发生了很大的变化！

Overweight women would always post photos with their face and neck only.

超重的女性总是只发布脸和脖子的照片。

Niki Stark
Soon after moved to Newport we had a mum and her daughter appear on our doorstep the day after our youngest daughter had been given the lead part in a show in the drama club she had recently joined.

搬到纽波特后不久，我们最小的女儿在最近加入的戏剧俱乐部中获得了一个演出的主角，第二天就有一位母亲和她的女儿出现在我们家门口。

The mother launched into a tirade of abuse about me not recognising diversity and encouraging racial hatred in my children etc.

母亲开始长篇大论地指责我，说我没有认识到多样性，并在我的孩子中鼓励种族仇恨等等。

I was somewhat surprised and ask the woman to come in and sit down whilst I got my spouse.

我有些惊讶，便请那位女士进来坐下，同时我去叫我的配偶。

My wife came through to see us (weren’t expecting a lesbian couple were you dear) and let me know she had asked our eldest daughter to put the kettle on.

我妻子过来看我们了（没想到是一对女同性恋夫妇吧，亲爱的），并告诉我她已经让我们的大女儿去烧水了。

Said eldest brought the tray through.

大儿子端着托盘走了进来。

Said eldest is half Pakistani and considerably darker than this woman’s daughter.

大儿子是半个巴基斯坦人，比这位女士的女儿肤色深得多。

The woman’s face dropped and she made her excuses and left!…

那位女士的脸色一下子变了，她找了个借口就离开了！

We have raised our children from birth not to be colour blind as that helps no one but instead to be colour aware. Aware that being white will afford them privileges and the responsibility that comes with that privilege is to try and eradicate it.

我们从孩子出生起就教育他们不要对肤色视而不见，因为这对任何人都没有帮助，而是要让他们意识到肤色的存在。意识到身为白人将赋予他们特权，而伴随这种特权的责任是努力消除这种特权。

Nice try sunshine.

干得不错，阳光。

No points.

没有分数。

Chris Grebe
I work in market research and for a time I was a project manager. It’s one of the more thankless jobs you can have, where if it everything goes smoothly, good, thats what we pay you for and if it doesn’t than regardless what happened its all your fault.

我在市场调研领域工作，曾担任过项目经理。这是一份较为吃力不讨好的工作，如果一切顺利，那是你应该做的，而如果出了问题，无论发生了什么，都是你的错。

It is what it is, its not for the faint of heart. But I once had this super nasty, rude client. She had asked me to do something for her that was next to impossible. I let her know what she was asking for was difficult but I would do my best.

事情就是这样，这不是为胆小的人准备的。但我曾经有一个非常讨厌、粗鲁的客户。她让我为她做一些几乎不可能的事情。我告诉她，她的要求很难，但我会尽力而为。

Specifically, she asked me to recruit 40 people, all home owners, under the age of 25, with salaries over $250,000/year with a geograhical mix and all ethnicities.

具体来说，她让我招募40人，都是房主，年龄在25岁以下，年薪超过25万美元，要求地理分布和种族多样性。

Sounds somewhat challenging to say the least. Sure I could go to silicon valley and find some of them but we needed people from all over the country.

至少可以说，这听起来有些挑战性。当然，我可以去硅谷找到一些这样的人，但我们需要来自全国各地的人。

We also had 2 weeks to do it!

我们也有两周的时间来完成它！

Over the next two weeks. I did everything in my power to find her, her 40 people. Every day, I sent her an email, explaining three things

在接下来的两周里，我竭尽全力寻找她和她的40个人。每天，我都会给她发一封电子邮件，解释三件事。

My concerns over not finishing this recruit in time

我对未能及时完成这次招募的担忧

Lastly, if we could relax any criteria

最后，如果我们能放宽任何标准

Every time she responded with something alone the lines of “I dont care what you need to do, we aren’t relaxing anything, we will stay under budget and you will get this done. I’m incredibly disappointed with you”

每次她回应时都像是说‘我不在乎你需要做什么，我们不会放松任何要求，我们会保持在预算内，你必须完成这件事。我对你非常失望。’

2 weeks came, we got 25. She sent an email expressing herself and how dissapointed she was.

两周过去了，我们得到了25。她发了一封电子邮件，表达了自己的感受以及她有多么失望。

In the email she mentioned some things.

在邮件中她提到了一些事情。

Mainly that she was blindsided by this, she had no idea we were having recruiting issues and expected that we were going to have 40 people on the start date. Specifically mentioning. Chris has been AWOL on me, hasnt sent me any emails. Later stating that I was a terrible project manager and she had no interest in working with me, due to my lack of correspondence and ability to manage the project at the end of the email she put the nail in her coffin that because of this lack of communication she had no intention of paying for this project.

主要是她对此感到措手不及，她完全不知道我们在招聘方面遇到了问题，并且预计我们在开始日期会有40人。特别提到，克里斯一直对我失联，没有给我发任何邮件。后来她表示我是一个糟糕的项目经理，由于我缺乏沟通和项目管理能力，她对我没有兴趣。在邮件的最后，她彻底表明，由于这种沟通的缺乏，她无意支付这个项目的费用。

She copied this email to, my boss, her boss, her bosses boss, my bosses boss and the CEO of my company. It wasn’t a huge company but its never good.

她将这封邮件抄送给了我的老板、她的老板、她老板的老板、我老板的老板以及我们公司的CEO。虽然公司规模不大，但这种情况总是不太好。

My boss already knew about the issues this project had had and her boss had a pretty good idea of what was going on. They specifically gave me the project because this woman was known throughout the company for being difficult to work with. She’d even done the same thing in which she called someone out and then said she wanted a free project. We came to realize it was about the money to her, she wanted a very difficult recruit for free (the recruit itself was very expensive. Typically you can find people for about $20/person. This one was about $150) The numbers may be off a bit, its been a few years. But it was about 10 times higher than the normal price of a recruit. So she wanted to get out of a $4000 bill.

我的老板已经知道这个项目遇到的问题，她的老板也对情况有相当的了解。他们特别把这个项目交给我，是因为这个女人在公司里以难以合作而闻名。她甚至做过同样的事情，就是公开指责某人，然后说她想要一个免费的项目。我们意识到对她来说，这是关于钱的问题，她想要一个非常难找的免费人选（这个人选本身非常昂贵。通常你可以找到大约20美元/人的人选。这个大约是150美元）。数字可能有点偏差，因为已经过去几年了。但这大约是正常人选价格的10倍。所以她想要逃避一张4000美元的账单。

Her boss emailed our CEO who called me, my boss, my bosses boss into her office. She asked simply. What happened. I explained. I then pulled out my laptop and showed her every single email I sent her and her replies, up to and including from the day before!

她的老板给我们的CEO发了邮件，CEO把我、我的老板、我老板的老板叫到了她的办公室。她简单地问：“发生了什么事？”我解释了情况。然后我拿出笔记本电脑，向她展示了我发给她的每一封邮件以及她的回复，包括前一天的所有邮件！

I apologized for not getting the 40 that were promised and our CEO laughed and said, we both knew that was never going to happen. She called the woman and conferenced in her boss.

我为没有达到承诺的40个道歉，我们的CEO笑着说，我们都知道那是不可能发生的。她给那位女士打了电话，并让她的老板加入了会议。

She said, we need to talk about what we can do to fix this relationship and that she had me there as well. My client immediately started on me, saying I was unprofessional, I lied to her, and I shouldn’t be working there anymore. My CEO, said, can you tell me where Chris lied. I’m seeing emails every day during this recruit explaining the difficulties and you signing off on them. You knew what was going on every day sometimes twice a day and Chris explained everything as clearly as he could, including asking you to help him out to get this recruited.

她说，我们需要谈谈我们能做些什么来修复这段关系，并且她也让我在那里。我的客户立即开始指责我，说我不专业，我欺骗了她，我不应该再在那里工作了。我的CEO说，你能告诉我Chris在哪里撒谎了吗？我每天在这个招聘过程中都看到邮件，解释了困难，你也签字同意了。你每天都清楚发生了什么，有时一天两次，Chris尽可能清楚地解释了一切，包括请求你帮助他完成这次招聘。

The woman was silent, her boss spoke to my CEO “Jenna(not her real name) can you please forward me all of those emails”

那个女人沉默不语，她的老板对我的CEO说：“Jenna（不是她的真名），你能把那些邮件都转发给我吗？”

She was no longer in charge of the project after that. A friend of mine, whom I later found out worked with her said she talked down to pretty much everyone including colleagues and no one ever wanted to stand up to her by calling her out on her bullshit.

从那以后，她不再负责这个项目。我后来发现与她共事的一位朋友说，她对几乎所有人，包括同事，都居高临下地说话，而且没有人愿意站出来揭穿她的胡言乱语。

When I had moved to Germany straight after finishing uni i recieved a group message from the 3 girls I used to share a house with. We had made an agreement that one girl and I wouldn’t pay for bills for the last month as we both moved out 1 month and a half before. This was mainly cause the other 2 liked to have the heating on constantly. They can have it on when ever they want and we don’t have to stress about it.

当我大学毕业后直接搬到德国时，我收到了曾与我合租的三个女孩的群消息。我们之前达成协议，其中一个女孩和我在最后一个月不需要支付账单，因为我们都在一个半月前搬走了。这主要是因为另外两个女孩喜欢一直开着暖气。她们可以随时开着暖气，而我们不必为此担心。

Well, low and behold, the 2 girls remaining had managed to build up the bill to £160 for the last month and couldn’t afford to pay it and they wanted to stay for 2 More months as they wanted to move in together but this meant we wouldn’t get our deposit back till later. Bare in mind they had known for nearly 2 years that they were going to move in together and I was needing my deposit back so I can get back to the uk for graduation (in Germany you don’t get paid for 2 months, though you do get some cash after the first month).

嗯，你瞧，剩下的两个女孩上个月已经累计了160英镑的账单，却无力支付，她们还想再住两个月，因为她们打算一起搬出去。但这意味着我们要晚些时候才能拿回押金。要知道，她们早就知道要一起搬出去，而我需要拿回押金以便回英国参加毕业典礼（在德国，前两个月是没有工资的，不过第一个月后会有一些钱）。

The girls didn’t realise that I could see all their previous messages (it was a group message that I previously left) so I could see their very “supportive” messages of them all saying they can’t wait to hear all about how my trial went for my new job (funny how so called friends forget how supportive you have been for them and don’t remember how supportive you have been for their part time retail job) and the 2 remaining girls lying say I had removed them off Facebook. I hadn’t even realised we weren’t friends on fb anymore.

这些女孩没有意识到我可以看到她们之前的所有消息（这是一个我之前退出的群聊），所以我可以看到她们那些非常“支持”的消息，她们都说迫不及待想听我新工作的面试情况（有趣的是，这些所谓的朋友忘记了你曾经对她们的支持，也不记得你曾经对她们的兼职零售工作有多支持），而剩下的两个女孩撒谎说我把她们从Facebook上删除了。我甚至没有意识到我们不再是Facebook上的好友了。

So you can see what my answer is going to be in regards for them to wanting me to pay 1/4 of the bills and for them to stay later. A big fat no. Not just because of the messages I had previously seen. I wasn’t that bothered as I am used to it, but because I am not going to give up my graduation cause they didn’t thinking of saving their money instead of paying for drugs, alcohol and expensive make up. This leads to the 2 girls threatening legal action against me, forgetting that one of them has had possession of weed in the house and the other has allowed all her bfs stay in our house nearly every night without paying extra and has had pets (weren’t allowed). Me pointing this out leads them to call me a spoilt bitch and that they hoped I wouldn’t get my deposit back.

所以你可以看到我对他们要我支付四分之一的账单以及让他们住得更晚的回应。绝对不行。不仅仅是因为我之前看到的消息。我并不太在意，因为我已经习惯了，而是因为我不会因为她们没有考虑存钱，而是把钱花在毒品、酒精和昂贵的化妆品上而放弃我的毕业典礼。这导致那两个女孩威胁要对我采取法律行动，却忘记了其中一个女孩在房子里持有大麻，另一个则让她的所有男朋友几乎每晚都住在我们的房子里，没有支付额外费用，还养了宠物（这是不允许的）。我指出这些后，她们骂我是个被宠坏的婊子，还希望我拿不回押金。

Karma is real, cause I only had £3 taken from my deposit for general repairs within the house, whereas the others had from £40-£70 off of their deposit for their rooms.

因果报应是真实存在的，因为我的押金只被扣了3英镑用于房屋的一般维修，而其他人的押金则被扣了40到70英镑用于他们房间的维修。

Giulio Moro
2 times in my career.

在我的职业生涯中有2次。

Once my boss decided to use third rate hard drives in computer systems to save an overall cost of $20 per system. We tested the first batch of Klok drives and they were acceptable, but the second batch wasn’t. I told him it wasn’t worth the risk. He decided to go head-first into buying them and use them exclusively. The entire manufacturing batch was defective. The drives would be formatted, setup, and then once powered off, the drives would no longer recognize anything recorded on them. Not good at all when 49 out of the 52 systems we shipped that week used those defective drives, and within days we started getting all sorts of customer complaints. When the systems started returning and I identified the root cause, he exploded in a packed employee room, trying to blame me. I quickly and swiftly turned and responded by saying that i already told him it wasn’t worth the risk of using third-rate hard drives to save $20 on each system, and that if anyone is to blame and responsible to the customers in this company it’s him for deciding what components to buy for us to assemble in systems that he provided the work orders for us to assemble and ship, not us. His face went beat red. Jerk. Karim Tarmohammad from Ultinet (Ultimate) Business Systems (no longer in business).

有一次，我的老板决定在电脑系统中使用三流硬盘，以每台系统节省20美元的总成本。我们测试了第一批Klok硬盘，它们还可以接受，但第二批就不行了。我告诉他这不值得冒险。他决定一意孤行地购买并专门使用这些硬盘。整个生产批次都有缺陷。硬盘会被格式化、设置，然后一旦断电，硬盘就无法识别任何记录的内容。这非常糟糕，因为我们那周发货的52台系统中有49台使用了这些有缺陷的硬盘，几天之内我们就开始收到各种客户投诉。当系统开始退回，我找出根本原因时，他在挤满员工的房间里大发雷霆，试图责怪我。我迅速转身回应说，我已经告诉过他，使用三流硬盘来每台系统节省20美元不值得冒险，如果有人应该为公司的客户负责，那就是他，因为他决定购买哪些组件让我们组装到系统中，他提供了工作订单让我们组装和发货，而不是我们。他的脸变得通红。混蛋。来自Ultinet（Ultimate）Business Systems的Karim Tarmohammad（现已停业）。

Another time a coworker and I went on a business trip to upgrade a remote location of their entire computer systems. We had several issues we overcame and worked feverishly for 16hr days to get the work done. Repeatedly, we’d email our director and support staff for assistance and so forth. When we returned we were pissed that they repeatedly didn’t reply to our emails and our director simply stated that he didn’t get them. At that point, in a packed room of our other coworkers I confronted him and told him he was a down-right liar and I could prove it. Little did he know that when an email was sent to his mobile device, a receipt notification was sent back through Novell’s Groupwise showing that not only he’d received the emails but when he opened and read them. His face went beat red. Another jerk. Gary Mullins from Royal LePage (long since let go). I guess that he thought he could pull the wool over our eyes, but we’re all IT Professionals.

另一次，我和一位同事出差去升级一个远程地点的整个计算机系统。我们遇到了几个问题，但都克服了，并且每天疯狂工作16个小时来完成工作。我们多次给我们的主管和支持人员发邮件寻求帮助等等。当我们回来时，我们很生气，因为他们多次没有回复我们的邮件，而我们的主管只是说他没有收到。那时，在一个挤满了其他同事的房间里，我当面质问他，告诉他他是个彻头彻尾的骗子，我可以证明这一点。他并不知道，当邮件发送到他的移动设备时，Novell的Groupwise会发回一个收据通知，显示他不仅收到了邮件，还显示了他何时打开并阅读了邮件。他的脸变得通红。又一个混蛋。来自Royal LePage的Gary Mullins（早已被解雇）。我想他以为可以蒙蔽我们，但我们都是IT专业人士。

Happened to me twice.

发生在我身上两次。

First time (I have posted this in answer to another question so bear with me) was when I was a very very junior officer. It was my first ship having just qualified to keep independent watches. I had finished my watch and handed over to the senior watchkeeper (Lt Xyz), an officer one step below the XO (2ic).

第一次（我已经在回答另一个问题时提到过，所以请耐心听我说）是我还是一名非常非常初级的军官的时候。那是我刚获得资格独立值班的第一艘船。我完成了值班，并交接给了高级值班员（Xyz中尉），他是一名仅次于副指挥官（2ic）的军官。

About 15 minutes after the change of watch, the captain came on the bridge looked around and asked “Officer of the Watch. Why is the ship not in station (assigned position relative to the senior ship)?”

换班大约15分钟后，船长来到舰桥环顾四周，问道：‘值班军官，为什么船不在指定位置（相对于旗舰的指定位置）？’

“Sir, she was out of station when I took over the watch and I've been struggling to get her back since then.” A flat-out blatant lie.

“先生，我接班时她已经离开岗位了，从那以后我一直在努力让她回来。” 这完全是一个赤裸裸的谎言。

Who was the previous OOW?

上一任OOW是谁？

Sub Lieutenant (the lowest officer rank) Visvanathan.

海军少尉（最低军官军衔）维斯瓦纳坦。

Get him here.

把他带到这里来。

All this while I'd been in the chart house writing the log and had heard the entire exchange. So I popped out. “Yes sir. You wanted me.”

这段时间我一直在海图室里写航海日志，听到了整个对话。所以我走了出来。“是的，先生。您找我。”

“Why is the ship out of station?”

为什么船不在站内？

“I don't know sir. If Lt Xyz thought the ship was out of station he should not have taken over the watch till I had brought her back.” I couldn't say that Lt Xyz was lying.

“我不知道，长官。如果Xyz中尉认为船离开了岗位，他不应该在我把她带回来之前接管瞭望。”我不能说Xyz中尉在撒谎。

The captain gave me a dirty look and said “Get out of here.” On my way down the ladder I stopped and listened (sue me) and heard the wrath of God, or so it seemed, descend on Lt Xyz. “You incompetent idiot. You're the senior watchkeeper and you need a sub lieutenant to teach you how to take over a watch?”

船长狠狠地瞪了我一眼，说道：“滚出去。”在下梯子的路上，我停下来听了听（尽管这可能会让我惹上麻烦），然后听到了上帝的愤怒，或者说似乎是上帝的愤怒，降临到了Xyz中尉身上。“你这个无能的笨蛋。你是高级值班员，却需要一个少尉来教你如何接班？”

The second occasion, I was Master of a merchant ship. We were sailing from Argentina to Italy via a Spanish port, a longish voyage. One of my officers had to go on leave to arrange his daughter's wedding (in India this is done by the parents) and the Mumbai office had promised to relieve him on arrival in Italy.

第二次，我是一艘商船的船长。我们正从阿根廷出发，途经一个西班牙港口，前往意大利，这是一段较长的航程。我的一名军官不得不请假去安排他女儿的婚礼（在印度，这是由父母来做的），孟买办公室承诺在他抵达意大利时让他休假。

We sailed and I made my departure message which, among other things, had my ETA to Spain and Italy. This message was acknowledged by the No 2 in the Mumbai office. Every 48 hours I would send a routine position report to the Cyprus Head Office and the Mumbai office giving my ETA. When we reached Spain (two days out from Italy) we still hadn't heard anything about the relief and my officer was panicking. So I called the Mumbai manager. The conversation went thus.

我们启航了，我发出了我的离港信息，其中包括我预计到达西班牙和意大利的时间。这条信息得到了孟买办公室第二负责人的确认。每48小时，我会向塞浦路斯总部和孟买办公室发送例行位置报告，提供我的预计到达时间。当我们到达西班牙（距离意大利还有两天航程）时，我们仍然没有听到任何关于换班的消息，我的大副开始感到恐慌。于是我打电话给孟买经理。对话如下。

“I haven't received any information on the new officer.”

我还没有收到关于新官员的任何信息。

We have an officer available but since we didn't know your ETA so we haven't made travel arrangements.

我们有一位官员有空，但由于我们不知道您的预计到达时间，所以还没有做出旅行安排。

“What are you talking about. I've been sending position reports Every 48 hours with my ETA.”

你在说什么。我每48小时发送一次位置报告，包括我的预计到达时间。

“We haven't received any of your messages.”

我们还没有收到您的任何消息。

“WHAT? One of your ships has gone missing for 12 days and you haven't bothered to find out where we are? If you weren't getting my messages and didn't know my ETA, which is a lie because my departure message was acknowledged, what stopped you from asking Cyprus?”

“什么？你的一艘船失踪了12天，你居然没有费心去查我们在哪里？如果你没有收到我的消息，也不知道我的预计到达时间，这是谎言，因为我的出发消息已被确认，那你为什么不问问塞浦路斯？”

“OK. We'll arrange relief when you return to Argentina.”

好的。当你回到阿根廷时，我们会安排救援。