关于养育孩子，没人告诉你的是什么呢？

Richard Muller
People tell you but you don't believe it: how much you will love your children. Nobody can convince you that a new person, a complete stranger, one who didn't even exist just a year earlier, will trigger this sort of love. You may have searched years for a person you could marry, but now one is just given to you (well, that's the man's point of view) out of seemingly nowhere.

人们告诉你，但你不会相信：你会多么爱你的孩子。没有人能说服你，一个新人，一个完全陌生的人，一个一年前甚至还不存在的人，会引发这种爱。你可能花了多年时间寻找一个可以结婚的人，但现在一个孩子似乎凭空就给了你（嗯，这是男人的观点）。

I fell in love with my first daughter as I was holding her at the hospital. My wife had some minor complications, and the nurse handed the baby to me. I looked down at her. Suddenly she became slightly agitated. She was moving her head. Then it hit, almost without warning: a sneeze! It seemed to me that it almost knocked off her head, and clearly she was equally distressed. Then we both sensed another one coming on. She tensed up; so did I. What could I do? She lowered her head closer to her chest and held it tightly; I'd swear she clenched her fists. The sneeze came, and in her new defensive position, it was nothing. She had learned how to sneeze, and I had watched her learn!

我在医院抱着我的第一个女儿时，爱上了她。我的妻子有一些轻微的并发症，护士把婴儿递给了我。我低头看着她。突然她变得有点不安。她正在移动她的头。然后，几乎没有任何预兆，一个喷嚏来了！在我看来，这几乎把她的头都打掉了，显然她也同样感到痛苦。然后我们俩都感觉到另一个喷嚏要来了。她紧张起来；我也是。我能做什么？她把头低得更靠近胸口，紧紧地抱着它；我敢发誓她握紧了拳头。喷嚏来了，在她新的防御姿势下，它什么也不是。她学会了如何打喷嚏，而我看着她学会了！

Some fathers say watching their child be born was one of the greatest experiences of their lives. For me, it was watching my little girl learn how to sneeze.

有些父亲说，看着自己的孩子出生是他们一生中最伟大的经历之一。对我来说，是看着我的小女孩学会打喷嚏。

The nurse asked me to hand the baby back to her. I was a little bit uneasy at doing this. I understood this child better than she did. She was my baby. How did I know the nurse would be sufficiently gentle? This was my love, not hers. But then the nurse put the baby down on my wife and my wife held the baby and I could see the same love between the two of them.

护士让我把孩子还给她。我对此感到有点不安。我比护士更了解这个孩子。她是我的孩子。我怎么知道护士会足够温柔呢？这是我的爱，不是她的。但随后护士把孩子放在我妻子身上，我妻子抱着孩子，我能看到她们之间有着同样的爱。

Children bond to parents, but the bonding of parents to a child is just as strong, maybe stronger.

孩子会与父母建立纽带，但父母与孩子之间的纽带同样牢固，甚至可能更加强烈。

I know parents who deny that love, and I feel deeply sorry for them. If you let your instincts loose, you discover that you have doubled your life, or (if you were deeply in love with your spouse) then at least increased it from 2 to 3 ... or more, for subsequent children. Children are the greatest joy in life (even better than physics!), and all you really have to do is let loose and go for it.

我认识一些否认这种爱的父母，我为他们感到深深的遗憾。如果你释放你的本能，你会发现你的生命翻倍了，或者（如果你深爱你的配偶）至少从2增加到3……或者更多，对于后续的孩子。孩子是生命中最大的快乐（甚至比物理还要好！），你真正需要做的就是释放自己，去追求它。

They all talk about the exhaustion and emotions.

他们都谈论着疲惫和情感。

But none talks about how fast they grow up.

但没有人谈论他们成长得有多快。

All of a sudden, they've all grown up. You are no longer their best friend, they suddenly have other friends too. You are no longer their smart mother or sister, they know things and they could do it on their own now. You are no longer needed and that's a bitter pill to swallow.

突然间，他们都长大了。你不再是他们最好的朋友，他们突然有了其他朋友。你不再是他们聪明的母亲或姐姐，他们现在知道很多事情，并且可以独立完成。你不再被需要，这是一个难以接受的现实。

They all grow up and leave to college. The silence is maddening. Once, your house felt like Christmas every day. You cook and clean every day. You bake on the weekends and wash the tub. Every month you clean the ceiling fan and the attic. But now, you do it once a year. You had kids running around your house. Now, kids run around your house during the festivals marked on calendars as public holidays.

他们都长大了，离开了家去上大学。这种寂静令人发狂。曾经，你的房子每天都像圣诞节一样热闹。你每天做饭打扫。你周末烘焙，清洗浴缸。每个月你都会清理吊扇和阁楼。但现在，你一年只做一次。曾经有孩子们在你的房子里跑来跑去。现在，只有在日历上标为公共假日的节日里，才有孩子们在你的房子里跑来跑去。

You could never go out without packing a big bag of diapers, extra pieces of toddlers clothing and pacifier, milk bottles and powders. You carry some snack too. Now, you are too free. You've got all the time in the world and you've got no idea what to do with it.

你以前出门时，总要带上一大包尿布、额外的幼儿衣物、奶嘴、奶瓶和奶粉。你还会带些零食。现在，你太自由了。你拥有世界上所有的时间，却不知道该如何利用它。

You miss them. You miss their innocent laughter and running around. You'd trade your entire inheritance for those runny noses and supermarket tantrums. You stay awake at nights wishing you had a baby to nurse. You miss their smell of milk and pee. Their soft hand and sloppy kisses.

你想念他们。你想念他们天真的笑声和四处奔跑的样子。你愿意用你所有的遗产来换取那些流鼻涕和在超市里的发脾气。你夜不能寐，希望自己有一个婴儿可以照顾。你想念他们身上的奶味和尿味。他们柔软的手和湿漉漉的吻。

It takes great strength to raise kids. It takes even greater strength to graciously let them go when the time comes.

养育孩子需要巨大的力量。当那一刻到来时，优雅地放手则需要更大的力量。

Edit : Dear all, thank you so much for the heartfelt comments.

编辑：亲爱的大家，非常感谢你们发自内心的评论。

I wrote this from the view points of a big sister. I remember one day, coming back from school, there was a little helpless human being wrapped in a towel in the hall. It looked very cute and they said it's my sister. In the next few years, another 3 arrived in the same manner.

我是从一个大姐姐的视角写下这些的。我记得有一天，放学回家时，大厅里有一个裹着毛巾的小小无助的生命。她看起来非常可爱，他们告诉我那是我的妹妹。在接下来的几年里，另外三个也以同样的方式来到了这个世界。

They were all the same. They were once little bundle of joy wrapped in towel. Then suddenly they sprouted hands and legs and started talking. They watched ridiculous cartoons and would bawl on the floor. And did I chose to have them ? Nope, but somehow it was also a part of my responsibility to make sure they stay alive and not crying.

他们都是一样的。他们曾经是裹在毛巾里的小小欢乐。然后突然之间，他们长出了手和腿，开始说话。他们看荒谬的卡通片，会在地板上大哭。是我选择拥有他们吗？不，但不知怎么的，确保他们活着并且不哭也是我责任的一部分。

Despite my poor job of caring them, they loved me very much. My sister admired me and thought I have a very good fashion sense. Her dress and way of hair followed mine. My brothers thought I was the smartest in the neighborhood. They'd exaggerate my grades and brag about it to their friends. LOL.

尽管我照顾他们的工作做得很差，但他们非常爱我。我的妹妹很崇拜我，认为我有很好的时尚感。她的穿着和发型都模仿我。我的兄弟们认为我是附近最聪明的人。他们会夸大我的成绩，并向他们的朋友炫耀。哈哈。

They'd fight to sit next to me in the bus or theater, and would coax, compel and beg my companionship just for the trip to the nearby supermarket. Heck, they'd even sulk if I did not watch tv with them. They'd feel cheated and would complain the next day if I slip unnoticed in the middle of the movie. "You are a liar, you slept halfway through the movie !" . LOL. My presence made so much of difference.

他们会争着坐在我旁边，无论是在公交车上还是在剧院里，甚至会为了去附近的超市而哄骗、强迫或恳求我陪伴。天哪，如果我不和他们一起看电视，他们甚至会生气。如果我在电影中途悄悄溜走，第二天他们会感到被欺骗并抱怨：“你是个骗子，电影看到一半就睡着了！”哈哈，我的存在对他们来说意义重大。

All of sudden, it hit me like a wave crashing on the sea. My sister and a brother have left for college. They have Facebook accounts and use Whatsapp. Yeah, I know. One of them has a girlfriend now. Woah. They all have cool best friends, and if I am lucky, they'd remember to bring a souvenir or two from their trips with their "cool" friends.

突然间，我像被海浪拍打一样猛然意识到。我的姐姐和哥哥已经去上大学了。他们有Facebook账号，也使用Whatsapp。是的，我知道。他们中的一个人现在有了女朋友。哇。他们都有很酷的好朋友，如果我幸运的话，他们会记得从与“酷”朋友们的旅行中带一两个纪念品回来。

Children, they all grow up so fast. I promise myself, when I have a little girl one day, and if she demands I stop vacuuming the carpet to play cards with her, I'll switch off the damn vacuum and play cards with her.

孩子们，他们都长得太快了。我向自己保证，如果有一天我有了一个小女孩，如果她要求我停止吸尘地毯去和她玩牌，我会关掉那该死的吸尘器，去和她玩牌。

Rita F. Martin
As a counselor/therapist of many years, one of the things that I OBSERVED when working with parents is this:

作为一名多年的咨询师/治疗师，我在与父母合作时观察到的一件事是：

From the time a child is born until s/he leaves the nest, many (if not most) parents tend to OVER-INVEST in the child, as they UNDER-INVEST in the marriage. When the child leaves the nest, the marriage partners often face huge adjustment problems. One problem revolves around missing the child, worrying about them, etc. But a major problem involves returning to the marriage relationship, which by that time, has often all-but-died. The partners often don't even realize that they have put the children first, when it should be the other way around. At the beginning of the marriage, they focused all of their attention upon each other. But the focus changed when children came along. They often lose sight of their original reason for getting married in the first place...to love, protect, and cherish each other. But when the children leave the nest, they either find their way back and re-capture their original intent of loving and caring for each other OR they dissolve the marriage OR they just continue living together because it's convenient.

从孩子出生到他们离开家，许多（如果不是大多数）父母往往在孩子身上过度投资，而在婚姻上却投资不足。当孩子离开家时，夫妻双方常常面临巨大的调整问题。其中一个问题围绕着对孩子的思念、担心等。但一个主要的问题涉及到回归婚姻关系，而到那时，婚姻关系往往已经几乎消亡。夫妻双方甚至常常没有意识到他们把孩子放在了首位，而实际上应该是相反的。在婚姻的初期，他们把所有的注意力都集中在彼此身上。但当孩子到来时，焦点发生了变化。他们常常忘记了最初结婚的原因……去爱、保护和珍惜彼此。但当孩子离开家时，他们要么找到回归的方式，重新捕捉到最初爱和关心彼此的意图，要么选择离婚，要么仅仅因为方便而继续生活在一起。

The wisest partners figure it all out from the beginning, but many just do not. They just live "in the box", never thinking "outside the box".

最明智的伙伴从一开始就明白一切，但许多人并不明白。他们只是生活在“盒子”里，从未想过“跳出盒子”思考。

I once heard a wise remark that went like this.....'The best thing a father can do for his children is TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER.' I think that says it all.

我曾听过一句睿智的话，是这样说的……“一个父亲能为孩子做的最好的事情就是爱他们的母亲。”我认为这句话说明了一切。

PLEASE SEE MY REPLY TO A COMMENT MADE BELOW. IT’S VERY RELEVANT TO THIS TOPIC. THANKS…

请查看我对下方评论的回复。它与这个话题非常相关。谢谢…

Tamara Troup
Ah, so many great answers here, brilliant answers, really.

啊，这里有很多精彩的回答，真是绝妙的回答。

No one told me that the toddler and preschool years would be like living with a messy, stoner roommate who is also really, really funny and really introspective, and maybe a little sociopathic.

没有人告诉我，幼儿和学龄前阶段就像和一个邋遢、像嗑了药一样的室友生活在一起，而这个室友还非常有趣、非常内省，可能还有点反社会。

One minute you'll be enjoying each other's company--playing cards, watching funny cats on Youtube, just hanging out. Then you'll go to the bathroom and see toothpaste smears all over the hand towel and sink. You'll stand in the doorway and yell "Dude, you've got toothpaste everywhere, clean up after you brush your teeth." Your new roommate will come chuckling down the hall "Sorry, dude, I dropped my toothbrush after I put toothpaste on it, and I just forgot." And you'll both laugh because that's a good reason. Then the next day the same thing will happen. And the next. And the next.

前一分钟你们还在享受彼此的陪伴——打牌、在YouTube上看搞笑猫咪视频，或者只是闲逛。然后你会去洗手间，看到手巾和洗手池上到处都是牙膏的痕迹。你会站在门口大喊：“哥们，你弄得到处都是牙膏，刷完牙后记得清理一下。”你的新室友会笑着从走廊走过来：“抱歉，哥们，我挤完牙膏后牙刷掉了，我忘了清理。”然后你们俩都会笑，因为这确实是个好理由。然后第二天同样的事情又发生了。再下一天也是。再下一天也是。

And some days your roomie tries to weasel his way out of responsibilities, and those days just suck because there you are standing over your roommate like "Jeez, dude, just get a job, you can't freeload forever and by the way, I'm not picking up all the stuff you leave in the living room anymore and dude, you should probably stop eating on the couch because it's kinda getting gross" and you both just scowl at each other. And that makes you feel like someone's MOM which is the last thing you wanted to be doing. But seriously, you just don't want your roommate to take advantage of you and you really don't want to live in a grungy house. And also it would be great if the dude figured out how to do it himself so you didn't have to nag all the time.

有时候，你的室友会试图逃避责任，那些日子真的很糟糕，因为你会站在室友面前说：“天哪，伙计，找个工作吧，你不能一直白吃白喝，而且我不会再帮你收拾客厅里的东西了，还有，你最好别再在沙发上吃东西了，因为那真的有点恶心。”然后你们俩就互相瞪着对方。这让你感觉自己像个妈妈，这绝对是你最不想做的事情。但说真的，你只是不想被室友占便宜，而且你真的不想住在一个脏乱的房子里。还有，如果这家伙能自己搞定这些事情，那你就不会总是唠叨了，那就太好了。

You'll also have conversations that start with "Dude, how did you fall when you were just standing there?" or "Dude, what were you thinking when you drew on the wall with crayon?" or "Dude, how many times are you going to listen to that Beatles album?" or "Dude, did you seriously just touch the cat THERE?! that's so gross!"

你还会听到一些对话，比如：“哥们，你刚才站着怎么就摔倒了？”或者“哥们，你在墙上用蜡笔画画的时候在想什么？”或者“哥们，你要听那张披头士的专辑多少次？”或者“哥们，你刚才真的摸了猫那里吗？！太恶心了！

But it's all good.

但一切都很好。

Natalie Brownell
When I was pregnant other mothers would say to me "oh wait till you have your baby in your arms you'll know what real love is". Well I had twins naturally.

当我怀孕时，其他妈妈会对我说：“哦，等到你把宝宝抱在怀里时，你就会知道什么是真正的爱了。” 而我自然怀上了双胞胎。

My son came first and was placed on my belly screaming his head off. My first thought HOLY SHIT! Then the doctor put his hand up me to feel for the 2nd twin. Took a while but my daughter eventually popped out. Silent, so taken straight to nurse for oxygen and a belly rub. She wasn't placed on me. 15mins later I had them both wrapped up in my arms. My second thought. HOLY SHIT! how the hell am I gonna deal with this. No surge of love at all. Thought there was something wrong with me. I will admit is was a good few weeks before I started to feel any love for them.

我的儿子先出生，被放在我的肚子上，哭得声嘶力竭。我的第一个念头是：天哪！然后医生把手伸进我体内去感觉第二个双胞胎。花了一些时间，但我的女儿终于出来了。她安静无声，所以直接被护士带去吸氧和按摩肚子。她没有放在我身上。15分钟后，我把他们两个都抱在怀里。我的第二个念头是：天哪！我到底要怎么应付这个？完全没有爱的涌动。我觉得自己有什么问题。我承认，过了好几周我才开始对他们产生爱意。

Dulcet Aurora

甜美的极光

That you miss the child that they were as they evolve into the child that they are.

你怀念他们曾经的样子，同时也接受他们成长后的模样。

I agree with User about watching them go.... but for me, that happened at least a dozen times. It still happens. Where is that 3 year old who crawled into my lap to read books and covered the driveway with sidewalk-chalk-art? Where is the 10 year old who quietly drew for hours every night? Where is the goofy 14 year old who told me hilarious stories about his day, every day? They're gone, forever.

我同意用户关于看着他们离去的观点……但对我来说，这种情况至少发生了十几次。它仍然在发生。那个三岁时爬到我腿上读书、用粉笔在车道上画画的孩子在哪里？那个每天晚上安静地画上几个小时的十岁孩子在哪里？那个每天给我讲他一天中发生的搞笑故事的十四岁傻小子在哪里？他们永远地消失了。

And on the flip side, how amazing it is when they have integrated parenting, peer relationships, and their own observations to become an adult. I sit with my son at times and am amazed that we're related. It's beyond pride; more like privilege.

另一方面，当他们将父母的养育、同伴关系以及自己的观察结合起来，最终成长为成年人时，这是多么令人惊叹。有时我和儿子坐在一起，会惊讶于我们竟然是亲人。这不仅仅是骄傲，更像是一种特权。

As politically incorrect as this is to say, having children is completely different as a life experience than any other thing.

尽管这么说在政治上不正确，但养育孩子作为一种人生体验，与任何其他事情都完全不同。

It is definitely NOT for everyone. And if you don't parent whether by choice or sad circumstance, you are not less of a person: people have widely different life experiences -- that's what diversity actually is. But it's not the same thing as parenting experience -- it just isn't. Those non-parents who have the closest experience to parenting are youth ministers and teachers. When you love and guide and are responsible for children's safety for large parts of the day, it's the most similar to parenting.

这绝对不适合每个人。如果你不选择成为父母，或者因为不幸的情况而没有成为父母，你并不比别人差：人们有着广泛不同的生活经历——这就是多样性的真正含义。但这与为人父母的经历不同——它确实不同。那些与为人父母经历最接近的非父母者是青年牧师和教师。当你一天中大部分时间都在关爱、指导并负责孩子们的安全时，这与为人父母的经历最为相似。

Teachers/aunties/community leaders etc. get kudos and appreciation (greatly deserved!) for GOOD teaching and personal guidance, but they aren't held responsible for the happiness and wellbeing of an individual child in the way a parent is; they don’t make major life decisions based on their children’s wellbeing, for example. So, while it's closer than anything else, it’s not the same experience.

教师/阿姨/社区领袖等因良好的教学和个人指导而获得赞誉和赞赏（这是他们应得的！），但他们不像父母那样对个别孩子的幸福和福祉负责；例如，他们不会基于孩子的福祉做出重大人生决策。因此，虽然这比其他任何关系都更接近，但并不是相同的体验。

Kim Tracey Konash
I have 8 children - 4 girls and 4 boys - and yes, they are all mine. Once this round of rather close birthdays completes, they will be 26, 22, 20, 18, 16, 14, 5, and 3. also have 3 grandchildren, so I have been doing this for over half of my life, and I have heard most things by now. In fact I have probably heard both sides of most things. But I will share a couple that I don't believe I have heard anyone else say.

我有8个孩子——4个女孩和4个男孩——是的，他们都是我的。这一轮相当接近的生日过后，他们将分别是26岁、22岁、20岁、18岁、16岁、14岁、5岁和3岁。我还有3个孙子，所以我这一生中有一半以上的时间都在做这件事，而且我已经听过大多数事情了。事实上，我可能已经听过大多数事情的两面。但我会分享几个我认为没有听别人说过的事情。

First, no one told me about the strong thread of animosity that exists towards people (and most especially mothers) of many. Having a big family is challenging and demanding but it is also rewarding. And there are some who agree with that. But they are becoming fewer (and usually older) in number. I have at times been shocked and taken aback by the intensity of the angst over this issue. The mentality that I am almost single handedly destroying the planet for other people's 1.2 children is particularly hostile. The irony is that this stance is often a characteristic of people who, usually very loudly, demand that those with a politically incorrect position on issues like abortion or gay marriage 'stay out of other people's bedrooms'. Aside from my belief in God who said that children are a blessing from Him, about 20 years ago I did the math and discovered that the assertion that the world's population would fit inside the state of Texas with about 1,000 s.f. per person is exactly right. So much for the overpopulation theory and that my 8 children significantly contribute to it...

首先，没有人告诉我，对于拥有大家庭的人（尤其是母亲）存在强烈的敌意。拥有一个大家庭是充满挑战和要求的，但也是有益的。有些人同意这一点，但他们的数量正在减少（通常是年纪较大的人）。有时，我对这个问题的强烈焦虑感到震惊和惊讶。那种认为我几乎是在单方面为其他人的1.2个孩子破坏地球的心态尤其充满敌意。讽刺的是，这种立场通常是那些经常大声要求那些在堕胎或同性婚姻等问题上持政治不正确立场的人“不要干涉别人的卧室”的人的特征。除了我相信上帝说孩子是祂的祝福之外，大约20年前，我做了计算，发现世界人口可以容纳在德克萨斯州，每人约1000平方英尺的说法是完全正确的。所以，关于人口过剩的理论以及我的8个孩子对此的显著贡献...

Another thing is that there is never any such thing as having seen and heard it all when it comes to having children. No matter how many you have, they are all unique individuals who will make you laugh, cry, and get frustrated, and will become a part of your world that you cannot imagine living without, and in ways you couldn't have imagined. It isn't just the first two or three that will do this; all of them will.

另一件事是，在养育孩子方面，永远不会有“见多识广”这回事。无论你有多少个孩子，他们都是独特的个体，会让你笑、让你哭、让你感到沮丧，并成为你生活中不可或缺的一部分，而且是以你无法想象的方式。不仅仅是前两三个孩子会这样，所有的孩子都会。

Finally, no one warned me that, while extended family can be wonderful, helpful, and supportive, they can also be hurtful and even harmful, even to your children. There are some that believe they have a right to tell you how to raise your children, will undermine your authority with them, and will even try to have them forcibly removed from you. It is very difficult at times to recognize those you cannot or should not trust. Be wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove.

最后，没有人警告我，虽然大家庭可以很美好、有帮助和支持，但他们也可能有害，甚至对你的孩子造成伤害。有些人认为他们有权告诉你如何抚养你的孩子，会削弱你对孩子的权威，甚至会试图强行将孩子从你身边带走。有时候很难识别那些你不能或不应该信任的人。要像蛇一样聪明，像鸽子一样无害。

Being a parent is the real 'toughest job you will ever love.'

为人父母是真正的‘你将会爱上的最艰难的工作’。

Leah Sloane Petersen
The thing that hit me upside the head about parenting is that, no matter what you think, no matter what you plan, want, strive for, bleed for, cry over, you are not entering a situation in which you have a whole lot of control.

关于为人父母，让我猛然醒悟的是，无论你怎么想，无论你如何计划、期望、努力、为之流血、为之哭泣，你都不是进入一个你能掌控的局面。

With my first, I thought I was a great parent. He slept all the time, ate well, was easygoing and agreeable. I had this parenting thing DOWN!

有了第一个孩子后，我以为自己是个了不起的家长。他总是睡觉，吃得很好，性格随和，容易相处。我觉得自己已经完全掌握了育儿之道！

Enter my second. That child knew from the moment she was born what she did and did not want (translate that to a person with exactly 10 minutes life experience) and she'd be DAMNED if she was going to do anything other than what she good and well wanted to. All my notions of my superior parenting went out the window as I struggled through the early years of just keeping her alive and me sane.

进入我的第二点。那个孩子从出生的那一刻起就知道自己想要什么和不想要什么（翻译给一个只有10分钟生命经验的人），如果她要做的事情不是她真心想要的，她就会非常愤怒。我所有关于自己优越育儿的观念都在我努力度过那些仅仅为了让她活着并保持自己理智的早年时光中烟消云散了。

The subsequent twelve years have been a variation on that theme, changing and growing as we all grew older and learned from each other. I'm still the parent and the ultimate authority, but trying to pretend I'm not doing this with the cooperation of the two people I'm parenting (one of whom can literally bench press me now) would be lunacy and singularly ineffective.

随后的十二年里，这一主题不断变化和发展，随着我们所有人逐渐变老并互相学习。我仍然是父母和最终权威，但如果假装我不是在与我养育的两个人（其中一个现在真的可以卧推我）的合作下做这件事，那将是疯狂且完全无效的。

TL;DR: You're parenting people, not things. This will be a relationship with give and take, like every other.

简而言之：你是在养育人，而不是物品。这将是一种有来有往的关系，就像其他所有关系一样。

Nathan Doromal
My wife and I have a 10 month old daughter. Here are some things I learned during the past year.

我和我的妻子有一个10个月大的女儿。以下是我在过去一年中学到的一些事情。

First, nothing prepares you for how hard it's going to be.

首先，没有什么能让你为即将面对的困难做好准备。

Sure your brother, sister, best friend, or whomever says it's hard. But you have absolutely no idea until you are there.

当然，你的兄弟、姐妹、最好的朋友或任何人都会说这很难。但直到你真正身处其中，你才会完全理解。

Yes I'm sure you can imagine sleepless nights, changing diapers, giving up all sorts of things you used to like to do, arguing with your spouse over who does what, all the worries over keeping this little thing alive, etc.

是的，我确信你能想象到那些不眠之夜、换尿布、放弃你曾经喜欢做的各种事情、与配偶争论谁该做什么、以及所有关于让这个小生命活下去的担忧等等。

No matter how mature you think you are or how many books you have read, you aren't ever really prepared for it.

无论你认为自己多么成熟，或者读过多少本书，你都不会真正为此做好准备。

After I actually went through it, I felt like I was part of an inner club, made of those people who have had some sort of special experience.

当我真正经历过之后，我感觉自己成为了一个内部俱乐部的一员，这个俱乐部由那些有过某种特殊经历的人组成。

Second, there is no human experience like raising a child.

其次，没有什么人类体验能比得上抚养一个孩子。

Trust me I've been around the world, seen and done more wondrous crap than most people do in three lifetimes. Nothing is quite like having a child.

相信我，我已经环游世界，见过和做过比大多数人三辈子还要多的奇妙事情。没有什么比拥有一个孩子更特别的了。

Third, you discover the world for a second time through the eyes of your child.

第三，你通过孩子的眼睛第二次发现这个世界。

Your child discovers the world and you discover it along with her in a brand new light. Things that were around you that you have taken for granted become suddenly brand new. The mundane becomes magical.

你的孩子探索世界，而你则以全新的视角与她一同发现。那些你曾经习以为常的事物突然变得焕然一新。平凡的事物变得神奇。

It's the closest I have come to living another lifetime in this same life.

这是我在这一生中最接近体验另一种人生的时刻。