由于社会结构的原因，作为外籍人士在中国非常无聊

It's been 4 month in Shenzhen and I came to the realization that China is incredibly boring because the way this society is structured. This will be a mild rant but I hope I am validating a lot of what other expats like me experience in their daily life.
1. The entire country is just for having fun with the people you already know and if you don't know anyone then you are kind of screwed. The fun that you have is with the family that you already have or the friends you've already made through 12+ years of Chinese education. There are enough people like this (probably 99%) that society sees no reason to create more "fun contents". There is just not enough expats for anything to specifically cater to expats. There is just not enough of a "third space". I know people will say "just get friends", but getting friends in China is incredibly difficult because everyone already has well established circles.
 
来深圳已经 4 个月了，我意识到中国的社会结构令人难以置信地乏味。这将是一个温和的咆哮，但我希望我能验证像我这样的其他外国人在日常生活中经历的很多事情。
1. 整个国家就是用来和你已经认识的人玩乐的，如果你谁都不认识，那你就完蛋了。你所拥有的乐趣是与你已经拥有的家人或通过 12 年多的中国教育已经结交的朋友一起度过的。这样的人已经够多（可能占 99%）到社会认为没有必要再创造更多的“娱乐内容”。没有足够多的外籍人士来做专门迎合外籍人士的事情。没有足够的“第三空间”。我知道人们会说 “出去交朋友就好了”，但在中国交朋友是一件非常困难的事情，因为每个人都已经有了自己的圈子。
 
2. You cannot walk up to something and have fun. For example, even a tiny museum near me requires me to download some app or install a miniprogram and book a ticket and time-slot. Let alone the big ones. Can you imagine walking up to some place in Beiijing like the Forbidden city, buying a ticket and just walking in? In most other cities you can do that, but in China this simple task is made very very convoluted, even for places with almost no visitors. Even Chinese people admits that this is convoluted.
 
2. 你不可能随便走到一个什么地方就玩得很开心。例如，即使是我附近的一个小博物馆，也需要我下载一些应用程序或安装一个迷你程序，然后预订门票和时间段。更不用说那些大型博物馆了。你能想象在北京，走到故宫这样的地方，买张票就能走进去吗？在世界其他大多数城市，你都可以这样做，但在中国，这个简单的任务却变得非常非常复杂，即使是几乎没有游客的地方也是如此。就连中国人也承认这很复杂。
 
3. There is no solitude or a quiet space. Imagine walking in a well-maintained park alone and just being in nature. That was everywhere in Japan and so far I have found none in China. The parks are amusement parks in disguise filled to the brim with people at all times of the day. The isolated parks seem completely neglected by the government and filled with mosquitos. I miss being able to walk to a park that is open to the public at all times of the day.
 
3. 没有独处或安静的空间。想象一下，一个人漫步在维护良好的公园里，置身于大自然中。这在日本随处可见，而我在中国至今还没有发现。公园是变相的游乐园，一天到晚人满为患。与世隔绝的公园似乎完全被政府忽视了，到处都是蚊子。我很怀念能走到一个随时向公众开放的公园的感觉。
 
4. Everything is hidden. In every other city I've lived in you can easily find events or advertisement for all sorts of things. Either a well curated website or flyers that you see just going about. Here in China everything is in the apps. You say, just download the apps and browse through them. But the advertisements on those apps for the events are also mixed up with other nonsense or even scammy contents. I have found zero events using the apps (I have all of them) and still uses Google like a tourist.
 
4. 一切都很隐蔽。在我生活过的世界其他城市，你都能很容易地找到各种活动或广告。要么是精心策划的网站，要么是你随处可见的传单。而在中国，一切都在应用程序里。你会说，只要下载应用程序并浏览它们就可以了。但这些应用程序上的活动广告还夹杂着其他乱七八糟的东西，甚至是骗人的内容。我使用这些应用程序发现的活动为零（我拥有所有这些应用程序），我仍然像游客一样使用谷歌。
 
5. Everything is far. Before coming to China I really liked the idea of a well-developed metro system. But now I get it, the metro system exists because everything is too far. This problem is really significant in Shenzhen because the mountains pretty much divides the city into isolated zones. All the interesting places are too far away from each other. You literally cannot just walk to a place from your home (for most of us). Library is too far from home, restaurants are too from library. You need to constantly didi to survive here. I feel like I'm still in quarantine.
 
5. 一切都太远了。来中国之前，我非常喜欢发达的地铁系统。但现在我明白了，地铁系统之所以存在，是因为一切都太远了。这个问题在深圳非常突出，因为深圳的山几乎把城市分割成了一个个孤立的区域。所有有趣的地方都相距甚远。你根本无法从家里步行到某个地方（对我们大多数人来说）。图书馆离家太远，餐馆离家太远。你需要不断打滴滴才能在这里生存。我感觉自己还在隔离区。
 
6. People are just too money-driven and a lot of greed is involved. A healthy community is when people facilitate little things for you without trying to pull a fast one. I get it, China is still developing and there are a lot of poor people whose only life goal is to get rich or die trying. But just within these four month I've gotten here I've already been scammed twice (by a gym and a hospital) and people have attempted to overcharge me for every little thing. It is very hard to trust anything. Every phone call I get is some company trying to scam me and I'm not even kidding. I feel kind of sad that there is so little genuine human interaction, everything is a financial transaction. People don't care about you and they aren't shy about it.
These are just a few of my thoughts. I know some people will make fun of me and that's ok. But I hope I am not only speaking out for myself and hope things turn become better one day!
 
6. 人们太过于金钱至上，贪得无厌。一个健康的社会，是人们可以为其他人提供小便利，而不要求什么回报。我明白，中国还在发展中，有很多穷人，他们唯一的人生目标就是发财，否则就去死。但就在我来到这里的这四个月里，我已经被骗了两次（被一家健身房和一家医院），人们试图为每一件小事多收我的钱。我很难相信任何事情。我接到的每个电话都是一些公司想骗我，我甚至不是在开玩笑。我感到有点悲哀，因为真正的人际交往太少了，一切都是金融交易。人们并不关心你，他们也毫不避讳这一点。
以上只是我的一些想法。我知道有些人会取笑我，没关系。但我希望我说的不仅仅是我自己，希望有一天事情会变得更好！
 
_bhan
In what country is it easy to make friends after college? People have established friend/family groups in every society, because most people stay put and don't migrate. Most people also prefer to hang out with people similar to themselves, especially as they get older.
 
在哪个国家，大学毕业后很容易交到朋友？在每个社会中，人们都有固定的朋友/家庭群体，因为大多数人都会留在原地，不会迁移。大多数人也喜欢与自己相似的人交往，尤其是随着年龄的增长。
 
stubing
Reading OP’s post reminds me of people complaining about the seattle freeze. People are just lazy and want to hang out with the people they know. And even that is rare.
 
阅读 OP 的帖子让我想起了人们对西雅图冰冻天气的抱怨。人们只是懒惰，想和熟人一起玩。即使是这样，也很少见。
 
komnenos
Personally found it quite easy in China. I worked in a bilingual school waaaay out in the Beijing boonies with a large foreign cohort and 90% of us were incredibly tight. Day in and day out we were doing stuff together and even years later I’m still good friends with many of them. Had similar experiences in different work and school environments in both the States and in Taiwan but it can be hit or miss.
 
我个人觉得在中国很容易。我在北京郊区的一所双语学校工作，那里有很多外国学生，我们 90% 的人关系都非常好。我们从早到晚都在一起做事，即使多年以后，我和他们中的很多人仍然是好朋友。在美国和台湾（地区），我在不同的工作和学习环境中都有过类似的经历，但也有可能是运气。
 
dlxphr
Amazing how after 4 months in a city a person can think they figured out how a huge country is structured and that it's also the reason why the entire nation is boring lol
 
一个人在一个城市生活了 4 个月后，竟然会认为自己搞清楚了一个庞大国家的结构，和这整个国家之所以无聊的原因，真是令人惊讶，哈哈。
 
Honey_Badger_Actua1
What? Are you telling me that spending one season in Dover, Delaware doesn't make you an expert on American culture from NYC to Dallas to LA?
 
什么？你是在告诉我，在特拉华州多佛市待上一个季度，还不能让你成为从纽约到达拉斯再到洛杉矶的美国文化专家吗？
 
stubing
People can spend a decade here and still come to the same conclusion. A lot of his complaints apply to most cities in the world. Tokyo is one of the rare exceptions for when it comes to insects and density. Everything is close together in Tokyo. With most places being concrete, there is very little area for mosquitoes to populate.
 
人们可以在这里待上十年，却仍然得出同样的结论。他的许多抱怨适用于世界上大多数城市。在昆虫和密度方面，东京是一个罕见的例外。在东京，所有东西都紧挨着。由于大多数地方都是混凝土结构，蚊子栖息的地方很少。
 
Mechanic-Latter
Man, so first off.. I’m sorry you have been experiencing a lot of stress and hardships. I’d like to tell you that China is different than you think it is. In my simple opinion.. I think that Shenzhen is your issue not China. Shenzhen is the most boring city I’ve ever been to in China.. 15 years ago and today.. boring. It’s all about work and there’s little working culture. But, I’ve met new people there but you need to speak Chinese.
I think also that you’re experiencing the world through a cultural shock perspective and you really seem to want things done your way.. that’s your own ego talking which I bet also keep you away from meeting people. I don’t know if you can speak Chinese but it’s also hard to make any sort of real relationship that’s long term and where you aren’t in the laowai pedestal of uniqueness(unless you meet a Chinese unicorn; they speak perfect English).
 
首先 我很遗憾你经历了很多压力和困难。我想告诉你，中国和你想象的不一样。在我看来，我认为你的问题出在深圳，而不是中国。深圳是我去过的中国最无聊的城市。15 年前和今天都是如此。这里只有工作，没有什么工作文化。不过，我在那里认识了很多新朋友，但你需要会说中文。
我觉得你也是通过文化冲击的角度来体验世界的，你似乎真的希望事情按照你的方式来做。我不知道你是否会说中文，但你也很难建立起真正的长期关系，除非你遇到的是中国独角兽，他们能说一口流利的英语。
 
WeChat is how this country works.. you just gotta use it. You know, when Chinese people travel everywhere they complain, “Why can’t we just WeChat for everything?!?! Why do I need to download Uber, Instagram, Twitter, Yelp, Google Maps, and Venmo to be here??” See how that would also be “not fun”.
Solitude exists but it’s also Shenzhen.. you gotta go more remote. If you travel a ways away you can get it.. also remember that you’re in a BRAND NEW city and Chinese people don’t have time for nature really unless your old. A Chinese city isn’t ever going to be a place where solitude is easy to find because of the population numbers.
 
微信就是这个国家的运作方式......你得用它。你知道吗，当中国人到处旅行时，他们会抱怨：“为什么不能什么都用微信？为什么我需要下载 Uber、Instagram、Twitter、Yelp、谷歌地图和 Venmo 才行？”你看，这样也 “不好玩”。
孤独是存在的，但这也是深圳啊！你得去更偏远的地方。如果你走得远一些，你就能得到孤独。你也要记住，你在一个全新的城市，中国人没有时间去享受大自然，除非你老了。由于人口众多，中国的城市不容易找到独处的地方。
 
For events, you can find them through xiaohongshu, other expats that have a presence in the city, and through dazhongdianping. But also.. events like the west does just don’t exist here the same way. It’s like you want to live outside of China inside of China.
I think you need to do some reflection and maybe move to a “culturally local” rich place and leave Shenzhen. I suggest Chengdu for you. It has all your asking for.
 
对于活动，你可以通过小红书、其他在这座城市有活动的外籍人士以及大众点评网找到他们。但是......像西方那样的活动在这里并不存在。这就好像你想生活在中国之内的同时又想获得生活在中国之外的体验。
我觉得你需要好好反思一下，也许可以搬到一个“本土文化”丰富的地方，离开深圳。我建议你去成都。那里有你想要的一切。
 
gowithflow192
Point no. 1 is every country on the planet. The other points mostly are because you chose to live a tier 1 mega city!
 
第一点是地球上的每个国家。其他几点大多是因为你选择生活在一线大城市！
 
ahzzo
the first one could be any expat in any foreign country tho, even the same for a french in the netherlands trust me
 
第一点可能是在任何外国的外籍人士，甚至是在荷兰的法国人，相信我
 
Sarah_L333
Every expat in Sweden has the same complaint.
However, OP is in Shenzhen? Most young people in Shenzhen are actually not from Shenzhen and went there after they graduated from university and knows no one in the city either.
 
每个在瑞典的外籍人士都有同样的抱怨。
不过OP是在深圳吗？深圳的年轻人大多数其实不是深圳人，都是大学毕业后就到深圳来的，在城里也不认识任何人。
 
I was in Germany for 7 yrs and probably I made only 1 friend that is not from my work. It's not uncommon for expats. The first half year in Germany I was literally depressed
In the end I found Germany is fking awesome.
Plus, Shenzhen is the most hustle place in China, people go to Shenzhen exactly for money. But scamming is not a Shenzhen/China specific peoblem in my experience.
 
我在德国待了 7 年，大概只交了一个非同事的朋友。这对外籍人士来说并不罕见。在德国的前半年，我简直郁郁寡欢。
最后我发现德国真他妈的棒。
另外，深圳是中国最热闹的地方，人们去深圳就是为了钱。但根据我的经验，诈骗并不是深圳/中国特有的问题。
 
Particular_Mix_7706
What is awesome from Germany if you cannot make more than 1 friend?
 
如果你不能结交超过 1 个朋友，那么德国有什么好的呢？
 
zhuyaoMaoMao
Well I get quite along with my colleagues so just no friend from outside.
 
呃，我和同事相处得很好，所以没有外面的朋友。
 
caoram
Been living in China for the last 9 years after moving here from Canada. I've had a difference experience then you for your first couple points:
Making friends in China is super easy if you are sociable and are generous. Chinese culture is not like overseas where everything is AA, if you are organizing an outing or dinner you should try your best to treat, Chinese people will most likely attempt to treat you to something nicer next time if you are a generous friend.
There are way more things to do in China then in foreign countries as long as you have the money to support the outings due to the sheer number of people available, it's not uncommon to be out drinking with friends everyday people are way more open to partying after work then overseas.
Solitude and quiet spaces are for the really poor who live far from the big cities or the really rich who can afford to pay for large empty spaces. This is just because of the population density of the big cities.
 
从加拿大搬来中国后，我在中国生活了 9 年。我的经历与你的前几点不同：
在中国交朋友非常容易，只要你善于交际，大方得体。中国文化不像国外那样什么都是 AA 制，如果你要组织一次郊游或聚餐，你应该尽量请客，如果你是一个慷慨的朋友，中国人很可能会尝试下次请你吃更好的东西。
由于人多，只要你有钱，在中国可以做的事情比国外多得多，每天和朋友出去喝酒也是常有的事，人们比国外更愿意在下班后参加聚会。
远离大城市的真正穷人，或者有能力支付大片空地费用的真正富人，才会有独处和安静的空间。这只是因为大城市的人口密度。
 
Events and advertisements are not hidden and in China are even easier to find due to you only needing to download wechat and all the mini apps like dianping or meituan to find good places to eat or fun things to do.
Everything is close knit if you are living in the city center where things are most expensive but far if you are living in the cheaper places. But in general things in China are much closer, for me if I want grocery, take the elevator down to the mall, If I want to go to work it's a 10 minute bike ride.
 
活动和广告并不隐蔽，在中国甚至更容易找到，因为你只需下载微信和所有的小应用程序，如大众点评或美团，就能找到好吃的地方或好玩的事情。
如果你住在物价最贵的市中心，一切都很近，但如果你住在便宜的地方，一切都很远。但总的来说，中国的东西更近，对我来说，如果我想买东西，可以坐电梯直接到商场，如果我想上班，骑自行车10分钟就到了。
 
I do agree that in general Chinese society is more greedy in the big city. Being materialistic and becoming rich is a huge part of the culture. If you want to just live a chill life away from materialistic goods then you can move to the smaller poorer city like Baise in guangxi. People there are not materialistic and live a slower simpler life.
If you get scammed often though maybe you should stop and reflect upon why scammers are targeting you, I've gotten scammed only once when I disregarded my Chinese friends advice not to lend money to another friend who was in financial troubles.
Having a good time in China requires you to be sociable and generous to others. I hope you can adapt and have fun here.
 
我同意，总体而言，中国社会在大城市更贪婪。追求物质和致富是中国文化的重要组成部分。如果你想远离物欲，过一种清冷的生活，那么你可以搬到广西百色等较贫穷的小城市。那里的人不追求物质，生活节奏较慢。
如果你经常被骗，也许你应该停下来反思一下为什么骗子会盯上你，我只被骗过一次，当时我不听我中国朋友的建议，让我不要把钱借给另一个有经济困难的朋友。
在中国玩得开心，需要你善于交际、慷慨待人。我希望你能适应这里的生活，在这里玩得开心。
 
Agent_Keto
I have found that the foreigners in China who are the most unhappy are those who don't try to assimilate. They compare China to their home country and try to make everything like it is back home. They only have expat friends, only go to expat restaurants, don't try to learn the language, etc. You'll be happier if you try to live like a native, and they will respect you for it.
 
我发现，在中国最不开心的外国人是那些不努力融入中国的人。他们把中国和自己的祖国相比较，试图让一切都和家乡一样。他们只交外国人朋友，只去外国人餐馆，不努力学习语言，等等。如果你试着像本地人一样生活，你会更快乐，他们也会因此尊重你。