什么阻碍了你的成功(一)

Rebecca Massey
When I quit full-time work to spend more time writing, the number one thing people told me was "That's awesome!" The number two thing -- and it was a very close second: “I could never do something like that,” and its common variant, “I want to do something like that, but...”
Not very long ago — less than two years ago — I never could have done something like this, either. What changed? What made the difference?
My Powerball winnings! Just kidding. I have no such thing. And some people would hit the Powerball and STILL not do whatever it is their heart is crying out for them to do. You wanna know why?
The problem isn’t money, or know-how, or knowledge, and for most people, it also isn’t time. The problem is fear.

当我辞掉全职工作，花更多时间写作时，人们对我说的第一件事是“太棒了!”第二件事——也是非常接近的第二件事:“我永远不会做那样的事，”它的常见变体是，“我想做那样的事，但是……”
不久以前, 不到两年前, 我也不可能做这样的事。是什么改变了我？ 是什么造成了这种差异?
我的强力球奖金! 只是开玩笑。我没有这样的东西。有些人即使中了强力球彩票，但仍然不做任何他们内心渴望做的事。你想知道为什么吗?
问题不在于钱、技术或知识，对大多数人来说，也不在于时间。问题在于恐惧。

Fear that you’ll fail. Fear that everyone will think you’re stupid or crazy. Fear that you’ll end up broke and homeless. Fear of the difficulty and suffering that may or will come along the way. Fear that what you do won’t mean anything or have any value to anyone. Fear that you’re not good enough, that what you’ll do is in fact not even worth your own time. Fear that you’ll end up on a one-way trip away from the life you have now and you’ll never be able to go back to anything like it. Fear that it’s too late and you’re too far behind to even start. Fear that no matter how hard you try, it will all have been for nothing.
That’s what’s keeping you still. That’s what’s holding you back. Whatever it is that you want to be doing, the reason you aren’t doing it isn’t that you’re broke, busy, or anything else. It’s because you’re afraid.
THIS IS NORMAL. Everyone has these fears. Everyone. Think of all the most fearless go-getters you know. Maybe one or two of them are sociopaths and actually lack fear. The rest? They’re scared. They might be really good at making sure you never see ’em sweat, but something is scaring the crap out of them. I guarantee it.

害怕失败。害怕所有人都认为你愚蠢或疯了。害怕你会破产，无家可归。害怕一路上可能或即将到来的困难和痛苦。害怕你所做的对任何人都没有任何意义或价值。害怕自己不够好，害怕自己将要做的事情根本不值得花时间。害怕你最终会走上与现在的生活背道而驰的单程之旅，再也回不到以前的生活了。害怕一切都太晚了，害怕自己已经落后太多，甚至无法开始。害怕无论你多么努力，你所做的一切都将是徒劳的。
这就是你静止不动的原因。这就是阻碍你前进的原因。不管你想做什么，你没有做的原因并不是因为你破产了、忙了或其他什么，而是因为你害怕。
这很正常。每个人都有这些恐惧，每一个人都有。想想你认识的所有最无畏的实干家。也许他们中有一两个是反社会的，实际上缺乏恐惧。其余的呢? 他们害怕。他们可能真的很擅长让你看不见他们流汗，但必有什么东西把他们吓得屁滚尿流，我保证有。

The difference is that at some point, they decided they were going to do something about the fear, and then they did it — whatever they needed to do to live with the fear, to move through it, and to take action anyway.
Sometimes, something happens to give you a hard push toward making that decision. Very often, nothing happens at all, and you have the additional challenge of drawing out the motivation and the reason from within yourself. (And the fear that those, too, aren’t legitimate or good enough.)
It’s easy to get caught up in thinking that you have a million things to do before you can even start. This is wrong. Flat out wrong. Dead wrong. You don’t have a million things to do. You have one: Face your fear, and figure out how you’re dealing with it.
“Yeah, okay, great,” you’re thinking. “HOW do I face the fear?”
Challenge accepted. Let’s work through the list from above. It is by no means complete or comprehensive for all possible fears of all people, but I think at least one of them applies to everyone (self included).

不同的是，在某个时刻，他们决定要对恐惧做些什么，然后他们就做了——无论他们需要做什么来应对恐惧，克服恐惧，无论如何都要采取行动。
有时候，一些事情的发生会让你很难做出这个决定。很多时候，什么都没有发生，你还有一个额外的挑战，那就是从自己的内心中找出动机和原因。（还有担心这些也不够合法或不够好。）
很容易陷入这样的想法：在你开始之前，你有成千上万的事情要做。这是错误的，完全错了，而且大错特错。你没有那么多事情要做。你有一个：面对你的恐惧，弄清楚你是如何应对的。
“是的，好的，太好了，”你在想：“我如何面对恐惧？”
接受挑战，让我们来完成上面的步骤。这绝不是对所有人所有可能的恐惧的完整或全面的总结，但我认为至少有一种恐惧适用于大家(包括我自己)。

Fear that you’ll fail. You might fail. It’s true. You could do 100% of everything perfectly right and there’s still no guarantee that you will succeed. There are usually two assumptions that feed into the fear of failure. One is the idea that failure is automatically a fault. The fault isn’t in the failure itself — it’s in not trying to succeed or improve. If you legitimately gave it your best shot and you failed, then perhaps you failed at your goal, but you will have succeeded in dozens of other ways: new skills learned, new connections made, new experiences lived, new things discovered about yourself and what you’re capable of, and if nothing else, the peace of mind that comes from erasing a “what if?” from your life. If you didn’t work at it and you didn’t try and you sat around waiting for success to happen, and you failed? Then, and only then, is when the failure is all you have. The other assumption is that people tend to think about success and failure in all-or-nothing, hyper-idealized-or-catastrophic terms. Either you’ll be a new Richard Branson overnight, or you’ll lose everything and everyone you ever had and you’ll die in a box under a bridge while everyone points and laughs and talks about what a moron you were to think it’d happen any other way. Neither of these things are going to happen. It may be the case that you’re middling and muddling for a while, not really succeeding or failing. But if you’re happier doing that than doing what you’re doing now, and if good new things (any good new things, not just money) come into your life along the way, how on earth could it be “failing?”

害怕失败。你可能会失败，这是真的。即使你把每件事都做得百分百完美，也不能保证你一定会成功。通常有两个假设助长了对失败的恐惧。一种观点认为，失败自然是一种错误。错误不在于失败本身，而在于不努力成功或进步。如果你真的尽力了，却失败了，那么也许你在目标上失败了，但你会以其他几十种方式成功: 学习新的技能，建立新的人际关系，体验新的生活，发现关于你自己的新事物和你的能力，如果没有别的，那就是从你的生活中消除“如果……会怎样?”的想法。如果你不努力，不尝试，只是坐等成功，结果你失败了? 然后，也只有到那时，失败才是你的全部。另一个观点是，人们倾向于用全有或全无、极度理想化或灾难性的方式来看待成功和失败。要么你会一夜之间成为新的理查德·布兰森（Richard Branson，英国亿万富翁），要么你会失去你曾经拥有的一切和所有人，然后你会死在桥下的盒子里，而所有人都指着你笑着说你是多么的愚蠢才会认为这一切会以其他方式发生。这两件事都不会发生。你可能会有一段时间碌碌无为，没有真正的成功或失败。但如果你比现在做的事情更快乐，如果好的新事物 (任何好的新事物，不仅仅是钱) 进入你的生活，这怎么可能是“失败”呢?

Fear that everyone will think you’re stupid or crazy. Some people WILL think you’re stupid or crazy — even if you’re a wild success — and it will hurt. There’s no avoiding it. However, you WILL ALSO be stunned at how many people already think that you’re smart and awesome and that what you want to do is totally great and that you should do it right now. Even total strangers! Find those people and keep them close. They will outweigh the naysayers. If you really don’t know anyone in person, hit the Internet and look for groups of people trying to do what you’re doing. (There are also plenty of groups for people thinking “I don’t know what I want, but it’s not this.” The ‘net is magic like that.) Get rid of the people keeping you down, if you can, or else minimize your exposure to them. If the people you live with are the ones keeping you down — parents, guardians, significant others, or roommates — this is unfortunately going to be a long-game situation for you until you (hopefully) can move on to a more supportive setting. In the meantime, do not hesitate to lean on the people who are cheering for you. They will help you keep your eye on the prize.

害怕所有人都认为你愚蠢或疯了。即使你非常成功，但有些人会认为你愚蠢或疯了，这让你很受伤。这是无法避免的。然而，你也会惊讶地发现，很多人已经认为你很聪明，很了不起，你想做的事情非常棒，你应该现在就去做。即使是完全陌生的人! 找到那些人，和他们保持密切联系。他们将超过反对者。如果你真的不认识任何人，那就上网找找那些和你做同样事情的人。(也有很多人会想:“我不知道我想要什么，但不是这样的。”网就是这样神奇。) 如果可以的话，摆脱那些让你沮丧的人，或者尽量减少与他们的接触。如果与你一起生活的人是那些让你沮丧的人——父母、监护人、重要的人或室友——真就不幸了，这对你来说将是一场长久的局面，直到你(希望)能转向一个更有支持力的环境。与此同时，不要犹豫，要依靠那些为你加油的人，他们会帮你盯紧目标。

Fear that you’ll end up broke and homeless. A word that comes up a lot in these discussions is “safe,” and when people use that word, it's usually code for this fear. A lot of people are under crushing debt. A lot of people don’t have any savings to fall back on. A lot of people are taking care of kids, elderly parents, or both. Deviating from the path they’re already on is the last thing from “safe.” The good news is that there are a whole range of things you can do to increase the margin of safety. Increased safety does usually mean decreased speed of accomplishment, but slower still beats nothing. Figure out the compromise that works best for your situation, and then plan accordingly: keep doing what you’re doing now, but also carve out some time every day for working on your new goal; reduce expenses so you can spend less time in the old thing and more time in the new thing; or start saving money so that later on you can quit the old thing and jump in whole hog on the new thing. I went with the second option — I moved someplace cheaper to live, and I stay in the day job part-time.

害怕你会破产，无家可归。在这些讨论中经常出现的一个词是“安全”，当人们使用这个词时，它通常是这种恐惧的代号。许多人负债累累。很多人没有任何积蓄可以依靠。很多人要照顾孩子，年迈的父母，或者两者兼而有之。偏离他们已经在走的路是最不安全的。好消息是，你可以做很多事情来提高安全边际。提高安全性通常意味着降低完成的速度，但慢一点仍然聊胜于无。找出最适合你的折衷方案，然后制定相应的计划: 继续做你现在在做的事情，但也要每天抽出一些时间来实现你的新目标; 减少开支，这样你就可以在旧的事情上花更少的时间，在新的事情上花更多的时间; 或者开始存钱，这样以后你就可以放弃旧的东西，全身心投入到新的东西上。我选择了第二种选择——我搬到一个更便宜的地方住，然后白天做兼职。

Fear of the difficulty and suffering that may or will come along the way. Let me tell you, now that I really miss my friends back in the big city where I used to live. I used to be able to call or text or IM somebody and say “Hey, wanna hang out this weekend/tomorrow/right now?”, or they could contact me about the same thing with the same amount of notice, and it would almost certainly happen. Now, that's got to be planned way in advance, and somebody’s gonna be in a car for hours to make it happen, so it doesn’t happen a whole lot. It sucks. I’m also enough of a hedonist to admit that I miss having all the big city entertainment and dining options at my fingertips; now, if I want something interesting to eat or to do, I generally have to come up with it myself. That sucks too. But you know what really sucks? Getting up and grinding through another day in a robot’s life, with the occasional guilty fantasy about what it might be like to do it differently. And you know what’s really awesome? Not living like that anymore.
So if you’re worried about any hardship that might come with the changes you need to make in your life, ask yourself this: Are you not already experiencing hardship by ignoring what you really want to be doing, waking up each day knowing that you won’t be doing that thing today, talking yourself out of it whenever you feel your mind or heart calling?

对可能或将会出现的困难和痛苦的恐惧。让我告诉你，我真的很想念我过去住的那个大城市里的朋友。我过去可以给某人打电话、发短信或发即时消息，说“嘿，这个周末/明天/现在想出去玩吗？”，或者他们也可以就同样的事情以同样的通知方式联系我，这几乎肯定会发生。现在，这必须提前计划好，有人会在车里待上几个小时才能实现，所以这不会经常发生，太糟糕了。我也是一个十足的享乐主义者，我承认我怀念所有大城市的娱乐和餐饮选择；现在，如果我想吃点感兴趣的东西或做点有趣的事，我通常都得自己想办法，这也很糟糕。但你知道最糟糕的是什么吗？起床后，以机器人般的生活方式又熬过了一天，偶尔会心怀愧疚地幻想，如果换一种方式会是什么样子。你知道真正了不起的是什么吗? 不要再那样生活了。
所以，如果你担心在你需要改变生活的过程中可能会遇到的困难，问问你自己: 你不是已经因为忽视你真正想做的事情而经历了困难吗?忽视你真正想做的事情，每天醒来知道你今天不会去做那件事，当你感觉你的思想或心灵召唤你的时候说服自己放弃它，你不是已经经历过困难了吗?

Fear that what you do won’t mean anything or have any value to anyone. The funny thing about meaning and value to others is that it really isn’t your call — it’s up to other people. You cannot force what you do to be meaningful to others (not even charity work); all you can do is try your best to connect your work to the people who are most likely to find it meaningful, and let them feel what they will about it. The flip side? If it’s meaningful and fulfilling to YOU, it is almost impossible that it will not be valuable to anyone else, if for no other reason than that happiness is infectious — when people see it, they want it, and they’re attracted to it. Also, think of the most banal garbage you can imagine. Think of your least favorite bit of irredeemable pop culture schlock. Someone out there will tell you they owe their sanity, happiness, or direction in life to it. There is plenty of room for you to add to the world. Even if it’s your own irredeemable pop culture schlock.

害怕你所做的对任何人都没有任何意义或价值。对他人来说，意义和价值的有趣之处在于，这并不是你决定的，而是由其他人决定的。你不能强迫自己做的事情会对别人有意义(即使是慈善工作); 你所能做的就是尽你最大的努力将你的工作与那些最有可能觉得它有意义的人联系起来，让他们感受一下他们会怎么想。另一面呢? 如果它对你来说是有意义的和令人满意的，那么它对其他人来说几乎是不可能没有价值的，如果没有别的原因，那就是快乐是会传染的——当人们看到它，他们就想要它，并被它吸引。此外，想想你能想到的最平庸的垃圾。想想你最不喜欢的那部分无可救药的流行文化垃圾。有些人会告诉你，他们的理智、幸福或生活方向都要归功于它。你有足够的空间为世界增添光彩—即使那是你自己都觉得无可救药的流行文化垃圾。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Fear that you’re not good enough, that what you’ll do is in fact not even worth your own time. All of us doubt that we’re good enough and that what we’re doing is good enough. Okay, again, maybe one or two people you know are nuts and genuinely believe that they’re awesome all the time. The rest, again, are feeling the fear and doing it anyway — trying even though they know it might not be (or probably won’t be!) good enough. Again, find the people who have your back, cheer you on, teach you, inspire you, or make you think -- even if you don't believe them. The little doubting voice never goes away. But your people will help you remember that the voice is only telling the worst version of the story. Everything you do is a step toward the next thing you’re going to do. Even if the first twenty thousand steps land in mud, keep your head about you and keep walking toward the good places and you will get there. That other people got there faster, or are already there, doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t.

害怕自己不够好，害怕自己将要做的事情根本不值得花时间。我们所有人都怀疑自己是否足够好，怀疑自己正在做的事情是否足够好。好吧，还是那句话，也许你认识的一两个人是疯子，他们真心相信自己一直都很棒。其余的人，同样感到恐惧，但还是这么做了——即使他们知道这样做可能不够好 (或者可能不会!) 再次强调，找到那些支持你、为你加油、教导你、激励你或让你思考的人——即使你不相信他们。怀疑的声音永远不会消失。但你的人会帮助你记住，这个声音只讲述了故事最糟糕的版本。你所做的每一件事都是迈向下一件事的一步。即使最初的两万步陷在泥里，保持头脑清醒，朝好的地方走，你就会到达那里。其他人更快到达那里，或已经到达那里，并不意味着你不能或不会达到那里。

Fear that you’ll end up on a one-way trip away from the life you have now and you’ll never be able to go back to anything like it. It is almost certainly true that you won’t be able to just hit the rewind button and go right back to where you started. Depending on what your particular situation is, it may also be true that you really will never be able to get back into the a similar situation; e.g., certain careers that demand their practitioners follow a specific and exact path, and don’t tolerate any deviance from that path. I’d be lying if I told you that no door closes permanently; it’s very, very hard to watch that happen. But the new doors to open are the things to consider. You wouldn’t have read this far if you were happy with the life you have now.

害怕你最终会走上与现在的生活背道而驰的单程之旅，再也回不到以前的生活了。几乎可以肯定的是，你不可能按下复位键就回到你开始的地方。这取决于你的具体情况，也可能是真的，你真的不可能回到一个类似的情况; 例如，某些职业要求从业者遵循特定的、确切的道路，并且不能容忍任何偏离这条道路的行为。如果我告诉你没有永远关闭的门，那一定是在撒谎; 很难看到这种情况发生。但是，打开新大门是需要考虑的事情。不过如果你对现在的生活感到满意，你就不会读到这里。

Fear that it’s too late and you’re too far behind to even start. It’s never too late to have a happy ending. And there isn’t a cap on the number of happy endings to go around. You’re older than most of the people doing what you’re doing? Good, you're ahead on dealing with life things and learning about yourself like the younger folks are still busy doing. The field is saturated? You’re going to have to be more persistent and more creative about how you’re going to get in — maybe a LOT more persistent and creative — but it’s impossible that there isn’t room for one more. The thing you’re good at or passionate about is yesterday’s big thing, not today’s? Okay, you missed the hype boat and maybe missed the big money boat, but there’s a community of people who are still REALLY into yesterday’s thing out there somewhere — and thanks to the internet, it’s easier than ever to find them. Or, you can find a new thing that builds on what you already know and love.

害怕太晚了，害怕自己已经落后太多，甚至无法开始。有一个圆满的结局永远都不晚。而且幸福结局的数量是没有上限的。你比大多数和你做同样工作的人都年长吗? 很好，你在处理生活中的事情和了解自己方面领先，就像年轻人仍然在忙的事情那样。这个领域饱和了吗? 你必须更坚持，更有创造力，但不可能没有更多的空间。你擅长或热衷的事情是昨天的大件事，而不是今天的? 好吧，你也许错过了赚大钱的机会，但仍有一群人仍然沉浸在过去的事情中，多亏了互联网，找到他们比以前更容易了。或者，你可以在你已经知道和喜欢的东西的基础上找到新的东西。

Fear that no matter how hard you try, it will all have been for nothing. If you actually do try, this is genuinely impossible. Your new endeavor may crash, burn, and explode, but you’ll be in a new place in your life, with new things to build forward from, and new people to help you do it.
Once again, this article isn't about having the solution to all possible problems. But there is one problem that’s really holding you back: Fear.
Move through the fear, and you will be shocked — in a good way — at all the good things that happen next.
I promise.

害怕无论你多么努力，一切都是徒劳的。如果你真的尝试了，这真的是不可能的。你的新努力可能会崩溃、燃烧和爆炸，但你将在你的生活中处于一个新的位置，有了新的东西来构建未来，有新的人来帮助你。
再次强调，本文并不是要提供所有可能问题的解决方案。但有一个问题真正阻碍了你: 恐惧。
克服恐惧，你会对接下来发生的所有好事感到震惊，这是一种很好的方式。
我保证。

Hector Quintanilla,Founder at BeBusinessSmart.com (2019–present)Tue
One lie is all it takes…
Which lie?
That ONE LIE that is stopping you from moving forward.
What are you talking about, Hector?
Everyone of us struggles with one big lie that is continuously haunting us and is limiting us to live to the top of our potential.
“I don’t have time!”
“It’s a crazy idea, impossible.”
“I don’t have what it takes!”
“I will fail!”
“It’s not worth it.”

一个谎言就够了
什么谎言?
那个阻止你前进的谎言。
你在说什么，赫克托（Hector）?
我们每个人都在一个巨大的谎言中挣扎，这个谎言一直困扰着我们，限制着我们充分发挥自己的潜能。
“我没有时间!”
“这是一个疯狂的想法，不可能。”
“我不具备这个条件!”
“我会失败的!”
“不值得。”

Listen, you can have all the talent, skills, experience or fancy degrees on the wall — but if you don’t have the belief, all those talents and skills will ALWAYS bow down victim to your present beliefs.
Elephants have great power, but all that strength will be limited by the beliefs they were conditioned to accept when young.
One lie is all it takes to be stuck for the rest of your life…
To answer your question, what is holding me back from being successful?
It’s that ONE LIE that is holding you back from being successful!
Tell me, how much time do you invest on improving your skills? Good! Now tell me, WHEN will you make time to work on your beliefs?
Can you identify that invisible “rope” that’s holding you back?
To be successful, first make some time for YOURSELF, find what’s holding you back, get up and pull that rope!

听着，你可以拥有所有的天赋、技能、经验或出色的学位，但如果你没有信念，所有这些天赋和技能将永远屈从于你现在的信念。
大象拥有巨大的力量，但所有这些力量都将受到它们年轻时习惯接受的信念的限制。
一个谎言就足以让你的余生深陷其中……
回答你的问题，是什么阻碍了我成功?
正是一个谎言阻碍了你成功!
告诉我，你花了多少时间来提高你的技能? 好! 现在告诉我，你什么时候会抽出时间来为你的信仰努力?
你能识别出那根阻碍你前进的无形的“绳子”吗?
要想成功，首先给自己留点时间，找出阻碍你前进的东西，站起来，把那根绳子拉起来!