两性关系：在亲吻别人前征得同意，是体面的程序还是败兴的操作？
Asking for consent before someone kisses a person is hot af.
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在那一刻之前，那种能量场一直都是很热切、性感、欢愉且神秘的。但是当他们问出口的时候，他们的能量场会变得机械、惶恐、就好像他们问是因为他们觉得不得不问，而不是因为他们真心想问。
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My one homie asked this girl for a kiss and she said it ruined the moment and he never got a date after
我一哥们曾向某个女孩索吻，她说此举毁掉了那个瞬间，从此以后他再也没有得到约会的机会。
I usually do the “walk with arm over shoulder” thing, then I stop, turn toward them an lean in a bit and gauge it. 100% guarantee for me
我通常会用“手臂搭肩上一起同行”这招，然后我会停下来，把头转向她们，身子稍稍前倾，然后再作判断。对我来说这招百分百管用
I would add that you need to consider the tone in which it is. Like, if it’s filled with stammering and hesitancy, then maybe not?
I’m a dude though, so no one has ever asked to kiss me.
我想补充一点，你必须考虑到当时的气氛和语气。比如说，如果语气中充满了结结巴巴和犹豫不决，那也许就不会成功？
但我是个男的，所以从来没有人向我索过吻。
When I was in highschool, the only way I could get myself to go for the kiss was to ask in as cheesey of a way that I could so even if she said no, we could get out of the awkward moment by laughing it off.
在我上高中的时候，唯一能让我接吻成功的方法，就是用一种很俗气的方式去询问对方，这样即使她拒绝了，这个让人尴尬的瞬间也能被我们一笑置之。
比如说，有一次我们正走向她的车，我想在她开车离去前和她接吻。她指摘说她旁边那辆车都停出格子了，于是我们一起笑了。嘿嘿，我的机会来了。“如果我在你离开之前偷亲你一下，会不会很出格？”，这招有神效。
鉴于有些时候它并不奏效，但我感觉这是一种很好的询问方式，同时又能保持轻松愉快的气氛。
Have a Hershey's Kiss in your hand in case she says no
（回）你得在手里准备一块好时之吻巧克力，以防她拒绝。
See, the secret to a kiss is to go 90% of the way... and then hold. As long as it takes... for her to come the other 10% .
你看，亲吻的秘诀就在于要做到九成，然后坚持住。需要多久就坚持多久…好让她给出剩下的一成。
Always give 110%.
每次都要给到110%。
（回）我的高中女友把这种行为称作“打碎瓷器”
There's truth to this. Non-verbal communication.
不发生语言交流是有其道理的。
My husband and I make two successive kissy noises to let the other know we want a smooch
我和我丈夫会连续发出两声亲嘴的吧唧声，好让周围的人知道我们要接吻了
（回）这也是我给女朋友送上晚安吻的方法。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
（回）然后猫咪们现身了，指望你拿出点好吃的呢。
（回）以前有个同事告诉过我，他和他老婆在孩子在场的情况下，想求欢时会使用暗号。他们会当面说或发短信说，“我想要薯条和萨尔萨辣酱了”。
Literally me this last week. I’ve seen this girl twice now and we talk everyday, this is my first relationship so super nerve wracking, and after our second date we were chillin in her car for a minute and we kinda stared at each other and I asked if I could kiss her, luckily she said yes. Later that night she said that was the most respectful and hottest thing she’s ever had a guy say to her before. Definitely made my night lol.
我上个星期还真碰到过这个场景。我到目前为止已经见过这个女孩两次了，而且我们每天都会聊天，这是我第一次进入恋爱关系，所以超级心惊胆战，在我们第二次约会后，我们在她的车里坐享了一小会儿的清寂，我们几乎都开始凝视对方了，我就问她我可不可以吻她，幸运的是她说可以。那天晚上，她说这是她迄今听过的男人对她说过的最尊重人也最性感的话语。这番话绝对让我开心了一整晚。
I've also seen the opinion that some women don't like it when a man asks permission to kiss. I suppose each woman has their own preference. What a novel concept.
我也看到过这样的观点，说有些女人不喜欢男人在接吻前征求同意。我想每个女人都有自己的偏好。对我来说还真是个新鲜的概念呢。
（回）有一次我问一个女孩我能不能亲她，她说：“如果刚才你直接亲我，那我本会很喜欢的，但是不要来问我。这样会很怪”。然后她在这个学年剩下的时间里就开始躲着我了，呵呵
（回）是的，现如今在行为举止方面存在巨大的分歧。有些人是找不到一个更好的术语，即“老派”，他们是想要这种惊喜的，而另一些人则有点新派，希望能得到许可。完全是碰运气，你要么成功...要么成了一个索吻的怪人，或是彻底侵犯了他人空间的人。
（回）还有就是我这样的人了，是一定要玩猜谜游戏的，就是想看看哪个人会回吻我，哪个人会打我耳光呵呵。
（回）变通的办法就是：询问你在亲吻她之前是否可以征求她的同意。
（回）关键不在于你做了什么，而在于你怎么做。征求许可也可以很性感。所有性别的人都喜欢信心满满的爱人，而这种“询问”的方式会扼杀这种情绪。在你年轻的时候，需要经受大量尴尬的错误才能搞清楚这些事情，所以不要对自己太苛刻。当一个自信的爱人想要点什么时，以真心实意的方式确认对方是同意的，会非常有吸引力。每种情况都不存在唯一正解，但这就是关键所在。
Perhaps for you. Every guy I've gone steady with has asked, and I like it that way.
There are women out there who prefer to be asked and those who don't. Simply find yourself someone who aligns with your preferences and you'll have a good time.
No need to belittle how the other half lives simply because it isn't your specific taste.
也许适用于你。和我确定过关系的每一个男人都问过我这样的问题，我也喜欢这样的方式。
更喜欢被询问的女人是存在的，而不喜欢的也存在。只要能找到能匹配你偏好的人，你就能享有一段美好时光。
没有必要仅仅因为另一半的生活方式不合你的特定口味就加以贬低。
Lady here. It completely removes the spark for me. 100% of the time I kissed someone I knew they consented because we had locked eyes and leaned in, other body language
我是女士。对我来说，此举彻底把火花给弄没了。在我亲吻别人的时候，我很清楚他们是同意的，每次都是如此，因为我们已经四目锁定，倚靠在了一起，外加其他的身体语言。
（回）我也是一样。我曾和某人体验过一次绝妙的初次约会。我们的约会行将结束，也开始互相道别了，他问我是否可以吻我。我完全理解他为什么这么问，而且我当然不会因为某人在一次约会后不够了解我的喜好就把他想得很坏，但此举完全扼杀了那一刻的神奇。
（回）如果用的是陈述的语气，你会不会更喜欢呢？我很喜欢在“我想吻你”这样的陈述中添上某些话语。比如“今晚你看起来很美，我真的好想吻你”。所以不一定要去问，但它仍是在征求许可，这样就讲得通了吧？
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
So if you can make an open statement like that without changing the energy of the moment, yeah I personally would be quite pleased and probably flattered.
（回）对我来说，把那一刻搞得兴致索然的，是提出这个问题的方式。在那一刻之前，那种能量场一直都是很热切、性感、欢愉且神秘的。但是当他们问出口的时候，他们的能量场就变得机械、惶恐、就好像他们问是因为他们觉得不得不问，而不是因为他们真心想问。这个过程特别不自然。
因此，如果你能在不改变当下能量场的情况下公开陈述，那么是的，我个人会很欣喜的，也可能会受宠若惊。
Another good one I saw was a guy who was just like "I'm going to kiss you now" but then waited for her to say okay. Best of both worlds. He asked, but also did not ask.
（回）是的，这可比单纯的询问性感多了。
我见识过的另一个范例就是，一个男的只说了类似“我现在要吻你了”的话，但一直在等她说好。这不就两全其美了。他问了，但好像又没问。
Hard part is for the other party, nowadays anyway, they're risking sexual assault accusations.
It sounds ridiculous because it is. Things have gotten a bit wonky recently
棘手的是，以现如今的风气，他们这么做，是要冒被指控性侵犯的风险的。
听起来荒谬，因为这事还就是挺荒谬的。现如今，很多事情都有点变味了。
Yeah, everybody's different. Some women also say they want a man who is open about their emotions, but when their boyfriends/husbands start talking about their sadness or insecurities, it grosses them out. Lotta people don't know what the hell they want and they're always gonna complain about something.
是啊，每个人都是不同的。有些女人也会说，她们想要的是一个能袒露自己内心的男人，可是当她们的男朋友/丈夫开始谈论自己的悲伤或不安全感时，却会被她们嫌弃。很多男人搞不清楚她们到底想要什么，而她们总能找到可抱怨的点。
Yeah that’s what I’ve heard from women the most and learned to just read between the lines and go for it if the vibe is right. Now I’m starting to hear more people talk about asking to kiss so I’m a bit confused.
是的，我从女性群体那里听到最多的就是这个，然后就学会了直接解读字里行间的隐藏信息，如果氛围很对，就直接亲上去。而现在，我开始听到更多人谈论先征求同意再吻，搞得我有点困惑了。
I have never once in my life asked a woman if I could kiss her. It's a natural thing, it either works or it doesn't, you should know while working up to it.
I can't think of a single Woman where that would have worked well.
I think my Wife would have died fucking laughing if I asked her for permission and would utter something along the lines of I'm drier than the Sahara and you need to get the fuck out now and we wouldn't be married.
我在生活中从来没有问过一个女人我是否可以吻她。这是一件自然而然的事情，要么成功，要么失败，你应该明白这点，同时循序渐进地发展到那一步。
我是想不出有哪个女人会吃这一套。我估计，要是我去征求我老婆的同意，她会笑死的吧，还会说出这类的话，“我比撒哈拉沙漠还干，你现在就给我滚蛋，我是不会和你结婚的。”
It doesn't have to be a an offensive assault from the man because he didnt ask, nor does it have to be a humiliating rude refusal from the receiver. Sometimes things just don't work, and that's okay. You gave it a shot. Just respect if he/she does not seem into it and get on with your day.
（回）在有些事情上，人们还是不要那么极端吧。如果一个男人试图亲吻一个女人，而她躲开了，这是很尴尬，但它就这么发生了。
不是说男人没有问就一定是攻击性行为，而就算接受者拒绝了，也不一定就是羞辱性质的无礼拒绝。有时候事情就是会不成功，这也没啥关系。毕竟你试过了。如果他/她看起来不喜欢，那就尊重TA，然后继续过你的日子便是。
I prefer to just say “I want to kiss you”, which leads to her initiating or a friendly decline, in my very limited experience on the matter
以我非常有限的情场经验，我更喜欢直接说“我想吻你”，结果就是要么她进入了状态，要么友好地拒绝。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I mean idk how teens and early 20’s are nowadays but when I was growing up, if you asked permission, that was basically weak and the girl wouldn’t like you. Lol
我想说的是，我不知道现在的青少年和二十岁出头的人是怎样的，但在我成长的过程中，如果你去征求许可，那基本上就是懦弱的表现了，女孩是不会喜欢你的呵呵
I like to live dangerously. Luckily it works like 35% of the time with my wife of 26 years.
我就喜欢立乎不测。幸运的是，在我和我妻子在一起的二十六年中，直接亲的成功率大约能有个35%吧。
Normally if i go in for a kiss, even a first kiss, i know if its going to be acceptable and reciprocated. I follow the social cues like a normal person. Never have i thought, lets make this more awkward and ask for permission. At that point why even try?
正常情况下，如果我去亲人家，就算那是我和她的第一次接吻，我也知道是否会被接受和回应。我像一个正常人一样循社交暗示行事。我从来没有想过要把这事搞得更加尴尬，还征求同意什么的。都到那份上了，为什么还要去尝试呢？
I’ve done it both ways. It depends on the person and the setting, but both can be hot.
这两种方式我都用过。要取决于人和场景，但这两种方式都可以很性感。
-Few nights ago I was drinking with a friend with whom I have a good bit of sexual tension with. I’m smooth and talkative when I’m drunk, so I was very complimentary towards her noting many of her features. I said she had very nice lips, and looked for a moment at them, then met her gaze, and asked if I could kiss her. And then we made out. Also very hot.
-那是我第一次在未征得同意的情况下接吻，当时我们正在约会，那氛围开始让人心驰神荡了，于是我就吻了她，她也回应了我，然后以此为起点有了更深入的发展。非常性感。
-几天前，我和一个朋友一起喝酒，我和她之间颇有性张力。喝醉后的我八面玲珑，也很健谈，所以我对她极尽赞美之辞，也留意到了她的很多特征。我说她的嘴唇非常漂亮，还凝视了一会儿，然后和她对视，问她我是否可以吻她。然后我们就各种亲热了。也很性感。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
One instance can be ruined and weird if you don’t know it’ll be reciprocated. The other instance can be weird if it comes out of nowhere with no buildup.
第一个例子很性感，因为它是在情热时分自然完成的。它性感是因为它是通过那些顽皮的前戏一步步铺垫到位的。
如果你不能确定这样做会得到回应，那就会被毁掉，也会很奇怪。如果这个吻是没有任何铺垫突然出现的，那也会很奇怪。