什么规矩是因为你而制定的？

pikkdogs
As a kindergartner I once fell asleep in the bus. When I woke up the bus was in the garage and I had to yell to get someone to get me out.

上幼儿园的时候我有一次在校车里睡着了。醒来的时候校车已经停进车库了，我只能大喊大叫把人叫来把我放出去。

So to this day every bus driver in my school district needs to walk to the back of the bus and check every seat before they park the bus.

于是一直到今天，我的学校范围内所有的校车司机都需要在停车之前走到校车后面检查每一排座位。

Seems like a good rule to have.

看起来是一条不错的规则。

amh8011
Something similar happened to me in kindergarten. My bus driver never went by my house, she went to everyone else’s and dropped everyone off. I was the last one on the bus and she must’ve forgotten about me. She went to a subsidized housing complex and just left me on the bus with the door closed.

我上动物园的时候，类似的事情也发生在我的身上过。我的那辆校车司机路过了我家房子，她开到了其他每个小朋友的家门口，把大家都送下车了。我是车上的最后一个人，她肯定把我给忘了。她把车开到了一片经济适用公寓，把我一个人丢在了锁着的校车里。

Eventually someone from the bus company came and found me and brought me home. I never saw that bus driver again. I honestly wonder how my parents convinced me to ever ride the bus again. I was so scared. I wouldn’t even go with the person from the bus company until they got their cell phone out and called my mom and I talked with her and knew it was safe.

最终，校车公司有个人过来找到了我，把我接回了家。我此后再也没见过那个校车司机。我真的想不通我的父母是怎么说服我再去坐校车的。我害怕得不行了。我甚至都不敢和那个校车公司的人走，直到他们掏出手机给我妈妈打了个电话，我跟她说过话之后才知道自己是安全的。

I do know that that bus driver didn’t walk to the back of the bus and check every seat. I also wonder what she was doing just parking the bus and leaving it at some random apartments. The situation always seemed a bit sus to me.

我能理解那个校车司机不想走到校车后面检查每个座位，我也想不通她到底为什么会把校车停在某个公寓门口。当时的情况我到现在还觉得很可疑。

tourmaline82
That happened to me when I was little! I went to a special ed preschool that had a bus. The sound and vibration of engines makes me sleepy and always has. So I would routinely fall asleep on the way home, and the regular bus driver knew that they would have to come wake me up when they got to my house. Well, one day they had a different driver who didn’t know to check for sleeping kids. They drove all the way back to the bus lot and left me there. In Alaska. During the school year, which means not in summer.

我小时候就遇到过这种事！我去了一个特殊教育的学前班，他们也有公交车。引擎的声音和震动总是让我感到困倦。于是我在回家的路上我总是会睡着，平常的那个校车司机都知道到地方之后要把我叫醒。有一天来了个不熟悉情况的司机，他不知道要看一眼有没有人睡着。于是他把车子一路开回了停车场，把我留在了那。那是在阿拉斯加。而且是在开学季，也就是说不是夏天。

Fortunately I was bundled up in my puffer coat and Grandma noticed pretty quick that I hadn’t come home. She raised hell with the school, who contacted the bus depot, whose employees found me in the bus. Still asleep. Apparently I was not pleased when my rescuers interrupted my nap.

幸亏我自己裹在棉袄里，而且奶奶很快就发现了我没回家。她气冲冲地找到了学校，学校联系了校车公司，公司的雇员在校车里发现了我。还睡得正香呢。营救人员把我从梦中叫醒的时候我还不太开心。

Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi
My older brother got a curfew enforced at Boy Scout camp when one of the leaders noticed him walking around the area in the daytime with his eyes closed, counting steps. He may have just been practicing being blind, but the adults assumed he was figuring out how to get around at night without lights so he could get into some kind of mischief. Which, knowing my brother, was also possible.

我哥哥在童子军夏令营的时候，被人发现他在白天闭着眼睛一边走一边数自己走了几步，于是挨了宵禁。他可能只是在练习自己被蒙住眼之后该怎么办，但那些成年人以为他要在晚上没有灯光的时候跑出去捅个篓子。而且了解我哥哥的人都知道他确实做的出这种事来。

foursheetstothewind
Minor one, but when I was in elementary school we had one of those bridge-building challenges using toothpicks and hot glue. My partner and I realized if we just coated the entire thing with a thick ass layer of hot glue it would make our bridge strong as hell. So we used like a full pack of hot glue sticks, like 20 of them, it was more glue than toothpicks. So after that they limited the number of glue sticks you could use.

不算什么大事，我上小学的时候，学校曾经搞过那种用牙签和热熔胶的桥梁挑战赛。我和我搭档发现，如果我们把整个桥梁涂上厚厚的一层热熔胶，桥梁就会特别结实。于是我们用了一整包的热熔胶，大概有20条，胶比牙签还多。后来他们就开始限制了你可以用的热熔胶胶条数了。

Lildebeest
I did something similar in school. They were having us build bridges out of dry spaghetti noodles and gumdrops, the one that held the most weight would win. It was a physics class and they expected us to build elaborate lattice structures with gumdrops anchoring the ends of each strand of pasta. The idea was probably to learn something about force and angle and such. Instead I figured out that if I squished the gumdrops into a paste with my hands, they basically became glue, and used that to turn multiple strands of spaghetti into larger rods. I won but my teacher looked pained about it.

我上学的时候也做过类似的事情。他们举办了用干意大利面条和橡皮软糖搭桥的比赛，能够承受最大重量的就算获胜。本来那是物理课，他们希望我们造出精致的栅格结构，用橡皮软糖做意大利面条之间的节点。可能是想要让我们学会力和角度之类的东西。但是我发现如果我把橡皮软糖在手里捂成糖浆，它就会变成跟胶水差不多的东西，然后我用这个把好几根意大利面捆成一捆。我赢了，但是我们老师看上去很痛苦。

JulesLovesYou1993
I mean technically you demonstrated that when you combine materials together they often become stronger than they would have been apart. Like when you put a steel rod inside of concrete.

其实本质上来说你证明了当你把不同的材料组合到一起的时候，通常来说强度都会比分开的时候更大。就比如把钢筋放进混凝土里一样。

oreMegadeth
In history class in high school, there was about 10 of us really close friends. We would take every opportunity to make “your mom” jokes. A couple months into class the teacher made us sign a “treaty” promising to stop making fun of each other’s moms. We signed it, and started making fun of each other’s dads.

高中上历史课的时候，我们差不多有十个人关系特别好。我们一有机会就会开“你妈”的玩笑。上了几个月的课之后，老师让我们签一份“协议”，保证以后不再开彼此妈妈的玩笑。我们签了，于是开始换成开彼此爸爸的玩笑。

TheOkamiKami
I don’t think it was a rule but it was kind of an unspoken thing. I was the only brown kid in my school and would act out for attention/acceptance and my classmates would get a huge laugh out of it but I would be sent to the principals office EVERYDAY. I think my principal knew I wasn’t a bad kid just looking for attention. He moved a permanent desk into his office for me and everyday when I got sent down I would sit there. Had my name on it and everything. By the end of that school year I would pack snacks for both of us lol.

我不觉得算是规矩，但也算是一种不言自明的东西。我当时是学校里唯一一个棕色皮肤的孩子，因为我会做一些引起注意力、寻求认可的事情，所以我们班里的同学总是会笑的很开心，但我每天都会因此被送到校长办公室去。我觉得我的校长知道我不是坏孩子，只是在寻求注意力而已。于是他在办公室里给我搬了张桌子，每天我被送到办公室的时候我都坐在那。上面有我的名字之类的。等那个学年结束之后，我已经会给我跟校长两个人带零食了哈哈哈哈。

Haven’t thought about that principal in a while but I hope he is well and was patient with other kids as he was with me.

好一阵子没想起来那位校长了，但是我希望他还好，希望他对待其他孩子也像对待我一样有耐心。

upxe: I tracked down what school he’s currently working at, called to find out when he’d get a free moment and they said he makes time to speak to parents and students after school at 3:15. Going to wait in the office until he’s free, wish me luck, hopefully he remembers me!

更新：我找到了他现在在工作的学校，打了电话过去问他什么时候有空，他们说他下午三点十五放学之后会留时间和家长、学生沟通。我要去办公室等他什么时候有空了，祝我好运吧，希望他记得我！

upxe #2: I met with him today, he didn’t have time to speak to me directly after school went out but I did wait until he had time a couple hours later. He remembered me very clearly, mentioned that he attended both mine and my baby sister’s high school graduation (he was our elementary school principal so it’s sweet to know he went out of his way to keep up with all of his students. He then offered to buy me a hat; I forgot but he confiscated one of my hats because I was wearing it in class lol. I’m glad everyone encouraged me to reach out. It took me a while for this upxe because I didn’t think I would be so moved by him remembering me.

更新2：我今天见到他了，他刚放学的时候没时间和我聊天，但是我等了几个小时之后他就有时间了。他非常清楚地记得我，提起他参加了我和我小妹妹的高中毕业典礼（他是我们小学的校长，所以我很高兴知道他也一直留意着自己所有的学生。他还说要给我买一顶帽子，我自己都忘记了，但是他曾经没收过我的一顶帽子，因为我上课的时候戴过，哈哈哈。我很感激论坛里的大家都鼓励我再去联系他。我花了一阵子才更新这个帖子，因为我真的没想到自己会被他还记得我这件事感动成这样。）

casstantinople
My 2nd grade teacher had a desk right by hers for the "bad" students. I wasn't intentionally a bad student (hello, ADHD diagnosis I didn't get until I was TWENTY-FIVE) but frequently wasn't paying attention in class and would do everything in my power to find loopholes in the rules. So I was put at the bad student desk despite my mother warning the teacher that I would interpret it as being put on equal footing with her (and yes, I did). I fucking loved being at that desk. I was 8 years old talking to my 50s-something teacher like we were the best of friends.

我的2年级老师在自己讲台旁边专门摆了张桌子给“坏”学生。我本来不是故意当坏学生的（您好，我25岁才做的ADHD诊断），但是上课的时候我经常不认真听讲，而且我愿意想尽办法找到规则中的漏洞。于是我还是被挪到了坏学生的桌子那里，尽管妈妈警告过老师我会认为这是把我放到了和老师平起平坐的位置上（没错我确实这么做了）。我可太喜欢坐在那个座位上了。当时我8岁，但我和那个50多岁的老师聊起天来就像我们是最好的朋友一样。

I did not stay at the bad student desk very long

当然我没在那个座位上坐太久。

Orbitalconfusion
In middle school i would use sharpies to tattoo myself, other kids thought it was cool so i started charging $1 per drawing wherever they wanted. Principal found out and after i wouldn’t stop, she put a ban on sharpies for the entire school. even the teachers couldn’t bring them in. i’m a tattoo artist now.

上中学的时候我会用记号笔给自己文身，别的孩子觉得这很酷，于是我收1美元给他们也纹，想纹什么酒纹什么。校长发现了这件事，但因为我不想停止这种行为，她就直接禁止全校使用记号笔了。就连老师也不让带记号笔进来。现在我是个纹身艺术家了。

Xannin
Our company operates on Discord, and a lot of people just made it so their personal discord became their professional discord rather than making a second account.

我们公司在Discord上交流，很多人干脆把自己的私人Discord账号当成工作账号来用了，没有额外建立一个账号。

It made it easy for managers, including me, to invade the lives of their employees by pinging them when they saw a green light in Discord.

这使得我这样的经理就很容易入侵其他雇员的生活，只要看到他们Discord在线就去给他们发消息。

I wrote a long email to the directors about the separation of work and home life since we are a complete remote company. I suggested that we make it a rule for people to have a work discord that they log out of at the end of the day so that any messages sent after hours can be dealt with the next day. Since we are a remote company, people are in many time zones, and I don't want to invade someone's evening or early morning when I am in the midst of my work day.

于是我给董事会写了一封长邮件，讨论了工作与家庭生活分离的问题，因为我们是一个完全远程办公的公司。我建议规定所有员工注册一个工作用Discord账号，每天下班之后就登出，这样所有下班之后收到的消息就都可以在第二天解决了。因为我们是一个远程工作的公司，所以员工在很多不同的时区，我不希望在自己工作到一半的时候在别人的傍晚或者清晨去打扰他们。

The directors agreed, and it became a thing. It is annoying to juggle two accounts, but it is better than people in different time zones being up in each other's shit all the time. What I would like to happen is that we use Slack instead, but everyone likes Discord.

董事会同意了，就实施了下来。虽然两个账号之间切换很烦人，但比起不同时区的人互相搅和对方的生活要好多了。其实我更希望大家都用Slack，但是所有人都喜欢Discord.

YT4000
My elementary school was located in the center of the neighborhood, and my 5th grade class was the first to get outdoor trailers for classrooms. We'd ask for bathroom passes and then walk home. Next year they built a fence around the school

我的小学坐落于社区的正中心。我们五年级的时候是第一批去户外的拖车里上课的。我们请假上个厕所就可以走回家了。第二年他们在学校周围造了栅栏。

Maximo-One
English Media class in Highschool. End of year project was to film a movie. Me and 3 other guys decided to film a “gangster movie”. Long story short, while filming the final shoot out scene behind a local post office, we were swarmed by police and almost got shot. One of the guys got arrested and my teacher almost got fired.

高中的时候学了英语媒体课，学期末的课程作业是拍一部电影。我和三个兄弟决定拍一部“黑帮电影”。长话短说，在当地的邮局后面拍摄最后一幕的时候，我们被一群警察给包围了，差点挨枪子。有一个兄弟被逮捕了，我的老师差点被开除。

The following year, the curriculum was changed and the final project was now an essay to be completed on a popular movie.

第二年，教学大纲就改了，期末作业改成了以当下流行的电影为题写一篇小论文。

Edit: I guess I’ll add more details.

编辑：我还是多加一点细节吧。

We were filming a shoot out scene behind the post office. What we didn’t know was that there was a retirement residence right next to it. Apparently several of the residents called 911 about a bunch of kids shooting each other outside.

我们在邮局后面拍一段枪战戏。但我们不知道的是旁边就是退休干部疗养院。显然有好几个住户因为外面有一群孩子互相打枪而报了警。

5 police cruisers rolled up and surrounded us. They all jumped out with guns drawn. “Drop the gun! Drop the gun! Get on the ground!”. We were all face down on the pavement with guns to our heads. A min. later, one cop is like “they’re fake. They’re all fake”. The officers were upset!

五辆警车开了过来把我们围住了。警察全都端着枪从车里蹦了下来。“放下武器！放下武器！趴到地上！”我们全都脸朝下趴到了地上，枪指着我们的脑袋。一分钟之后，有个警察说“是假的，这些枪都是假的”。警官气坏了！

They ran our names and unfortunately, the one guy that had nothing to do with anything gets arrested. I felt so bad. He wasn’t a apart of the class. Just last second, we asked if he’d help us film and he agreed.

他们把我们的名字都核验了一边，不幸的是有个跟我们一点关系都没有的兄弟被逮捕了。我感觉很难过。他都不是我们班级里的一员。只是最后一秒，我问他们愿不愿意帮我们拍一下电影，他同意了。

They take the rest of us back to school where we’re sitting in the office as a police officer reams out our teacher and a principle. “I almost shot a bunch of kids! How the fuck are you allowing this to happen during school hours?! What kind of project allows guns?!”

他们把我们剩下几个人都送了回去，我们坐在办公室里，警官把我们的老师和一名校长叫了出来。“我差点开枪打了一群孩子！你们他妈怎么会允许上学期间发生这种事？什么样的期末作业允许用枪啊？！”

Fun times.

可太有意思了。

Edit 2: I have to be honest. The cops weren’t being that bad. I mean, they thought they were driving into a shoot out. They didn’t know what to expect. As soon as they realized that the guns were fake, they let us up off the ground. We weren’t even handcuffed.

我得说实话。警察没那么坏。他们以为自己要冲进枪击现场了。他们不知道要面临的是什么。发现那些枪都是假的之后，他们就让我们站起来了。我们连手铐都没拷。

I’ve had several negative interactions with police, but this one wasn’t one of them. They were just doing their job.

我曾经和警察有过几次不愉快的经历，但我上面讲的这次不算。他们只是在做好自己的本职工作。

thatbitchlol
I put a croissant in one of those hotel toasters. It soon became engulfed in flames and needed extinguishing. Next day at breakfast they made a sign that said “if you’d like your croissant toasted, please ask a member of staff”

我往旅馆的吐司机里放了个可颂。可颂马上就燃起了一团烈火，需要用灭火器的程度。第二天早餐时间他们做了个牌子，上面写着“如果你想要烤一下可颂的话，请联系工作人员。”

FartAttack911
My junior high made a rule against yo-yos in class after I tried to do a trick and my yo-yo flew across the room and broke a glass beaker set. I’m sorry, guys.

在我玩悠悠球想玩个花样，结果球飞到了教室另一头把一套玻璃烧杯打碎了之后，我们初中班级里就禁止玩悠悠球了。

idontcare4205
Local amusement park added a "no blindfolds on rollercoasters" rule because of me.

当地游乐园因为我加上了“坐过山车禁止蒙眼”的规则。

When I was in middle school, my friend and I thought it would enhance the overall experience if we blindfolded ourselves on the biggest roller coaster at a local amusement park. We got one of those pictures they take on the ride and there we are, blindfolded in the middle of a tunnel, having the time of our lives. Looking back, we easily could have strangled ourselves or worse because we literally just used scarves tied around our heads. Next year we went back to the same roller coaster and they had added a "no blindfolds or loose accessories" to the list of rules before the ride.

我还在上中学的时候，我和我朋友觉得如果我们在乘坐当地游乐园里最大的那个过山车的时候能把眼睛给蒙上的话，体验就会更上一层楼。我们收到了他们拍的那种照片，上面我们在隧道里蒙着眼睛，享受着我们最难忘的时光。现在回头想想，我们完全有可能被自己带的布给绑起来，甚至更糟糕，因为我们真的只是用一块布系在了脑袋上而已。第二年我们回到同一个过山车上的时候，看到他们往上车之前的告示上加了一块“禁止蒙眼或佩戴其他宽松的配饰”。

Semi_John
I mean, you could also just close your eyes. But points for style.

你完全可以直接把眼睛闭上的。但确实这样更酷。

cavendar
Back in the day a radio station had a weekly trivia contest. The prize was a free pizza and movie rental.

以前我们那个广播电台有个每周豆知识问答大赛。奖品是一顿免费披萨和电影录像带。

Somehow my mom figured out which book they were using for the trivia questions. She bought it and memorized all the answers.

我妈不知怎么就发现了他们是在用哪本书出题。她买到了那本书，把上面所有的答案都背了下来。

Each week we would call in immediately. Sometimes we were the first but even if we weren’t it didn’t matter because other people were usually just guessing. We won almost every time.

每个星期我们都会立刻打过去电话。有时候我们是第一个打过去的，但就算我们不是也不重要，因为其他人通常都只是在瞎猜。我们几乎每次都能赢。

Even though we changed up who would actually make the call they eventually figured out we were all from the same household. So they made it a rule you couldn’t win if your family had already won in the last month or whatever.

尽管我们每次打电话都换人，他们逐渐还是意识到了我们都是一家子。所以他们制定了个新的规则，类似如果家庭成员已经有人在上个月赢过这个奖项了，就不能再赢一次了之类的。

Up till then, we enjoyed a lot of free pizzas.

在那之前我们吃免费披萨吃了个爽。

Routine-Peach8405
Uber expense with drinks for clients at my work. Years ago we took a bunch of clients out and everyone had way to much to drink so I ordered everyone ubers home. Turned in the expense report to our account manager ( just under 400 bucks in ubers) and she had no clue what an uber was. I explained to my bosses that we expense drinks for clients why not expense ubers. Now if we pay for drinks for clients we also pay for ubers.

如果因为工作关系和客户一起喝酒，那么打车费也一并报销。几年前我们带着一群客户出去吃饭，大家都喝了太多了，所以我叫了Uber把所有人都送回去了。把开销报给了会计经理（打车花了不到400美元），她当时还不知道uber是什么。我向老板解释，如果我们给客户买的酒钱都可以报销的话，那么打车费为什么不能报销呢？于是现在当我们给客户买酒喝的时候，我们也会给他们打车。

HelpfulCherry
No typewriters in class.

上课不许带打字机。

I was kind of a shit kid and while my school allowed us to use laptops, I would play videogames. Primarily Warcraft 3. In class. No sound or anything so I wasn't being a complete nuisance, but I wasn't doing my work.

我当时挺烂的，虽然我们学校允许我们用笔记本电脑，但我还是会在课堂上玩电子游戏。主要是魔兽争霸3，直接在课堂上玩。因为没有声音，所以我不算太打扰别人，但我也没在好好学习。

A teacher told me I couldn't use my laptop.

于是有个老师跟我说我不许再用笔记本电脑了。

I happened to have a 1950's Remington Quiet-Riter portable, all-mechanical typewriter. It was anything but quiet, with all of the TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA... DING! you'd expect from a typewriter.

我碰巧有一台1950年雷明顿牌的Quiet-Riter便携全机械打字机。其实一点都不安静，一直在发出那种咔哒咔哒咔哒咔哒……叮！的声音。

After one full day of studiously taking notes and doing my assignments via typewriter, my teacher said I could use my laptop as long as I didn't bring the typewriter to class.

在一整天坚持不懈地用打字机记笔记、做作业之后，我的老师终于松口了，说我可以带笔记本过来，只要我不把打字机带到课堂上来就好。

JFeth
That is aggressively following the rules.

这叫做进攻性地遵守规则。

otcleavage
Fuck this one’s spicy

我草这个真牛逼

That teacher probably got home and thought “where the fuck did he get that”

那个老师可能到家之后都在想，“他他妈哪儿整来的这玩意儿”

GoddessOfOddness
Oh, I was a teacher who coached debate and took the team of high school students on weekend tournament trips.

哦，我自己就是个老师，我带高中辩论队，周末会带他们去打比赛。

I had new rules every year and my cocoach and I privately called them the name of the student. E.g. the Jess rule was that if you assaulted anyone, you were sent home. The Annie rule was no debating in fake accents. There was the Dylan rule, which was no communal porn watching in the hotel rooms. Jess rule #2 was do everything you can to vomit into the garbage can or toilet and not on the floor. Jess rule #3 was no yelling at nurses in the ER that you are a virgin when they ask you to take a pregnancy test. Jess rule #4 was we can cut you off after 12 minutes of no stop talking.

每年我都会制定新规则，我和我的助理教练私下里会把这些规则按照学生的名字来起名。比如说，杰斯规则就是如果你侮辱别人，你就回家。安妮规则是不许学别人的口音辩论。还有个迪兰规则，是不许在酒店房间里聚众看黄片。杰斯第二规则，尽全力把东西吐到垃圾桶或者马桶里，不要吐到地板上。杰斯第三规则，假如在急诊室里护士要求你验孕，不许对护士大喊大叫。杰斯第四规则，在讲话超过12分钟停不下来的时候，我们可以打断你的发言。

RosieQParker
The dual major on my degree is no longer offered after I proved it would have been logistically impossible to graduate with it without my specific transfer credits.

在我证明如果没有我的特殊转移学分就不可能毕业之后，学校取消了我这个专业的双学位项目。

Phat3lvis
I used to work for a company that had flex hours, you could work all you want but no overtime. So I would work 4-10 hour days and then take three day weekends. That lasted for about two months before my employer made a rule that we had to be there five days a week.

我之前工作的那家公司工作时长是不固定的，你想工作多久都可以但是不算加班。于是我每天都工作4-10个小时，然后过三天周末。这种方式持续了大概两个月，然后我的老板规定我们必须每天都上班五个小时。

Then I used to come in at 4am to avoid traffic, skip lunch then leave at noon, and nobody noticed for about six months but they figured out I was not coming back after lunch and changed the policy so I could not come to work until 8am.

于是我每天早上四点避开早高峰上班，跳过午餐直接在中午下班，有六个月的时间都没人发现这一点，但是后来他们终于发现我午饭之后就没回来过，于是就又改变了政策，我早上八点之前不许来上班。

So I started working lots of extra time and started banking my flex time and saved up about 430 hours by October (10-hours a week of OT) and was informed by HR that I could not roll it over in the new year, so I scheduled a 12-week vacation. Yeah, they made a new rule over that too.

于是我开始拼命多上班，把多余的工时都攒了起来，等到十月份的时候我已经攒了差不多430小时（每星期多工作10小时），人事跟我说我不能把这些工时攒到明年，于是我给自己规划了12星期的长假。对，他们后来也把这种行为给禁止了。

When COVID hit and I had to stay home, I figured out I could do a side gig, so I got a second work from home job and worked both until I got caught, and they laid me off. After that there was a new rule.

新冠疫情来临之后我只能躲在家里，但我发现我还能再接一份私活，于是我接了第二份可以居家进行的工作，两份一起干，直到我被发现了，他们终于把我开除了。此后又多了一条新规则。

I just like hacking the systems they set up, they were so difficult to work for that I wanted to figure out a way to make it work fo me.

我只是喜欢破解他们所设置的体制，因为那些体制都太难磨合了，所以我想要找到一种方法让体制为我服务。

nadirbahama
freshman year of high school, I had to give an oral presentation on a random Greek god. this was at a Christian school, for context. I got Dionysus, so naturally I spent many hours researching on YouTube how to act drunk (wasn't much of a partier, so I didn't know) and pretended to be absolutely wasted for my presentation. it was a great success but my teacher unsurprisingly banned Dionysus for the following years. it didn't help that Dionysus was basically the god of orgies and bestiality too, if I remember correctly

大一那年，我得以一名希腊神话的神祇为主题，做一篇口头演讲。提前说一句，我读的是基督教学校。我抽到的是狄俄尼索斯（译注：酒神），于是我自然在YouTube上花了很长时间搜索怎么演得像醉了一样（我没太去过排队所以不懂），假装自己演讲的时候醉得一塌糊涂。虽然演讲本身很成功，但是老师在接下来的几年里毫无疑问地把狄俄尼索斯从列表里删除了。狄俄尼索斯其实也是滥交和兽交之神，如果我没记错的话。

RjBass3
Military school I went to. After me, an adult is required to check the parade cannon to ensure it is clear, and closely monitor the students as they load it.

我上的军校。在我读完之后，必须有一名成年人检查礼炮，确保膛内是干净的，并且认真监督学生们上膛的过程。

There is to never be another flaming rubber chicken flying over the parade grounds ever again. Circa 1989.

禁止操场的天空中再次出现燃烧的橡皮尖叫鸡。从1989年起实施。

Applesintheorchard
"Don't trick your siblings or friends into eating soap."

“不许骗你的兄弟姐妹或者朋友吃香皂。”

I would cut bars of dove soap into pieces, wrap them in old candy wrappers, and pretend like they were mints. I was 8 or 9.

我会把多芬的香皂切成小块，包在糖纸里，假装是薄荷糖。那年我也就八九岁。

SleepyxDormouse
Not my story but a story recounted to me.

不是我自己的故事，但是别人讲给我的。

I took a Qur’an class in college and my professor assigned us a major project due at the end of the semester on some facet of Islam. We were allowed to pick any topic except for religious extremism. He said that topic wasn’t allowed because of what had happened a few years back.

我上大学的时候选修了一门古兰经相关的课程，教授给我们期末布置了一个大作业，研究伊斯兰教的一些方面。我们可以挑选任何话题，除了宗教极端主义。他说不允许研究这个话题的原因是几年前发生的一些事情。

Apparently, a student of his had chosen Bin Laden as his project and would look up information about extremism and terrorism. He was a psych major so he found radicalization interesting and wanted to develop a paper on how someone became a terrorist. This involved him reading a bunch of writings from Bin Laden and researching terrorist movements and people associated with terrorism.

显然，他有个学生选了本拉登作为自己的大作业题目，于是就开始搜索关于极端主义和恐怖主义的信息。他本身是心理学专业的，所以他觉得极端化是很有意思的现象，希望写出一篇探讨人如何成为恐怖分子的论文。这导致他阅读了大量本拉登本人的作品，并且研究了恐怖主义运动，以及与恐怖主义相关的一些个体。

Mind you, this was all for a paper. The student was not religious at all and had absolutely no interest in extremism.

先说一声，这完全是为了写一份论文。这个学生本人并不信教，他对于极端主义也没有任何的兴趣。

Well, at the end of the semester, he turns in this awesome project and the year ends. The student is from out of state and is going to fly back to his family except he’s stopped at the airport. He gets told by TSA that he’s on the no fly list. Apparently, his extensive research flagged him as an extremist and there’s now an investigation on him.

等到学期末，他交上了这份出色的大作业。因为他是国外的留学生，他正打算坐飞机回国和家人团聚，但被在机场拦住了。他被运输安全管理局告知自己在禁飞列表上。显然，他涉猎广泛的研究让他被人怀疑是极端主义者，现在有人开始调查他了。

They literally took him into another room and gave him a bunch of questions. They even called my professor to have him show the paper to corroborate his story. It all got cleared up in the end, but it was a nightmare.

他们把他带到了另一间房间，审讯了他很多问题。他们甚至给我的教授打电话，让他出示那篇论文来佐证自己的供词。虽然最终真相大白，但过程非常可怕。

Because of that, the class stayed away from religious extremism. My professor said he was even nervous about researching terrorism at all because he didn’t want a repeat of what happened.

因此，这个课程此后就远离宗教极端主义了。我的教授说就算是研究与恐怖主义相关的话题他都感到紧张，因为他不想让同样的事情再发生一遍。

future-unperson
No sign language during silent lunch punishment

我们被罚吃午饭不许说话的时候，不许用手语。

My lunch period was so loud we got put on silent lunch for over a month straight. I decided the only clear solution was to teach my entire table sign language so we could still talk without getting in trouble. Apparently it was "unfair" to the kids who didn't know how to sign, so we had to stop.

我们吃午饭的时候太吵了，于是一个多月都不让在吃午饭的时候说话。我意识到唯一有用的解决方案就是把我们整个餐桌的孩子都教会用手语，这样我们就可以在聊天的时候不惹事了。显然这对于那些不知道怎么打手语的人来说“不公平”，于是我们只能停下了。