什么样的对话只发生在中国?
What kinds of conversations only happen in China?
译文简介
网友：我身上经常发生这类对话，遇到一个六七十岁的男人或女人，谈话开始时是这样的：“你结婚了吗？”“没有。”“为什么不呢？你喜欢男人吗？”“不，我喜欢女人。我想我只是没有遇到合适的人。”......
正文翻译
What kinds of conversations only happen in China?
什么样的对话只发生在中国?
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Paul Denlinger，曾在中国大陆、台湾和香港居住;普通话流利(书面，口语)
"Are you married?"
"No."
"Why not? Do you like men instead?"
"No, I like women. I guess I have just not met the right one."
"How much money do you make?"
"I make xxx."
"Do you own a house?"
"No, I don't."
"You seem like a decent person. Why aren't you married?"
"I have had some bad luck."
"Would you be interested in meeting my daughter? She is 40 years old and not married yet. I was wondering if you could meet and become friends?"
我身上经常发生这类对话，遇到一个六七十岁的男人或女人，谈话开始时是这样的：
“你结婚了吗？”
“没有。”
“为什么不呢？你喜欢男人吗？”
“不，我喜欢女人。我想我只是没有遇到合适的人。”
“你挣多少钱呢？”
“我收入是xxx。”
“你有房子吗？”
“不，我没有。”
“你看起来是个正派的人。你为什么不结婚呢？”
“我运气不好。”
“你有兴趣见见我的女儿吗？她已经40岁了，还没有结婚。我想知道你们能不能见个面，做个朋友？”
"If you give me a way to contact her, I will contact her directly and we can have dinner. But I don't want you to be involved in the process if that's OK with you."
"OK. Do you have a recent photo? I will give it to her and ask her. And give me your phone number so that she can contact you directly."
"Here you go. Thank you."
In fairness, this kind of conversation has happened to me in the US too, but only among Chinese.
此时此刻，我的思想正在疯狂地旋转。如果我同意见面，他们的希望很高，如果事情不成功，我最终会伤害他们，是时候说实话了。
“如果你给我一个她的联系方式，我会直接联系她，我们可以共进晚餐。但我不希望你参与这个过程，你能同意吗？”
“好的。你有近照吗？我会把它给我女儿并问下她。然后你把你的号码给我，这样她就可以直接联系你了。”
“给你吧，谢谢。”
公平地说，在美国也发生过这类对话，但只发生在中国人中间。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
YQ Niu, 运营总监+产品负责人
Girl: "So Peter, how much do you make each month".
Me: "Um... [an amount]".
Girl: "That's not bad. Have you bought a house or a car yet?"
Me: "Neither. I want to invest my income into education."
Girl: "Don't you think as a man it is your responsibility to own a house or car?"
Me: "..."
I don't know just how prent this is but all of my male friends in Shanghai and Beijing report having experienced various versions of this conversation
我去年在第一次约会30分钟后进行了这段对话。我们当时都25岁：
女孩：“彼得，你每个月挣多少钱？”。
我：“额，是...”。
女孩：“还不错。你买房子或车了吗？”
我：“都没有，我想把我的收入用于我的学习上。”
女孩：“你不认为作为一个男人，拥有房子或汽车是你的责任吗？”
我：“…”
我不知道这种对话有多普遍，但我在上海和北京的所有男性朋友都说，他们都经历过这种性质对话的各种版本。
Parent: You aren’t tall enough. True man need to be 1.7 m tall. Go play basketball. Go jump two hundred times everyday.
Child: I don’t want to jump or play basketball.
Parent: If you no 1.7 m you will neva get the girlfriend.
*Child grows to 1.7 m naturally*
Parent: Oh look see you have been doing the jumping and playing basketball.
家长：你不够高。男人最起码要长大1.7米高，去打篮球吧，每天跳两百次。
孩子：我不想跳，也不想打篮球。
家长：如果你没有1.7米，你就永远也找不到女朋友了。
孩子很自然就长高到1.7米。
家长：哦，看吧，你一直有跳伞和打篮球（才长这么高）。
Just minding my own business when a random auntie* looks at me then…
Auntie: “You are very pretty!”
Me: “Ah, thank you auntie!”
Auntie: “My son is an accountant, 27, 1.75m, not very handsome, would you be his girlfriend?” *she then proceeds to show me her son's photo on her phone*
Me: “Sorry auntie, I already have a boyfriend.”
当一个阿姨看着我的时候，我正在做我自己的事情。
阿姨：“你真漂亮！”
我：“啊，谢谢你，阿姨！”
阿姨：“我儿子是个会计，27岁，身高1.75米，不是很帅，你愿意做他的女朋友吗？”然后她给我看了她手机上儿子的照片。
我：“对不起，阿姨，我已经有男朋友了。”
Qingdao Airport, China.
It’s 11pm, you are tired, and you are walking out of baggage reclaims after a long flight:
[Taxi driver walks up to you.]
Taxi driver: “Hey handsome boy where you want to go? I take you to hotel, I give you good price.”
You: “Sure I could use a ride. How much would you charge for a trip downtown?”
Driver: “OK! Downtown would be 150 yuan. We can go to my car and leave right now.”
You: “Wait how come? I thought taxis downtown are only 60 yuan, isn’t 150 yuan a bit much?”
中国青岛机场。
现在是晚上11点，你很累，经过长途飞行后正从行李认领处走出来：
[出租车司机向你走来。]
出租车司机：“嘿，帅哥，你想去哪里？我带你去酒店，我给你算便宜点。”
你：“当然可以，我可以搭你的车。去市中心要多少钱？”
司机：“好的！去市区是150元。我们现在就可以上车，马上出发。”
你：“等等，怎么回事？去市区的出租车才60元，150元太贵了吧？”
You: “It is 60 yuan, I live here. Go away.”
Driver: “Oh sorry I thought you were Korean, that’s why I scammed you.”
You: “Wait wait, what?”
Driver: “Yeah I tried to scam you because I thought you were Korean.”
You: “Go away please…”
Driver: “Seeing as we are both Chinese, I’ll charge you, just 100 yuan.”
You: “That’s very nice of you but I’ll just grab a taxi from the taxi stand.”
司机：“不，不是60元，有人骗了你。”
你：“就60元，我住在这里，走开。”
司机：“哦，对不起，我以为你是韩国人，所以我骗了你。”
你：“等等，什么？”
司机：“是的，我想骗你，因为我以为你是韩国人。”
你：“请走开……”
司机：“既然我们都是中国人，我就收你100元。”
你：“你真是太好了，不过我还是去出租车站叫辆出租车吧。”
You are walking on the street and a stranger is, too. You both stop at a crosswalk/busstop/other place requiring you to stop, and the stranger says, "Where are you going?"
"To get groceries."
"What are you going to make?"
"I don't know yet."
"If you don't know then how do you know which groceries you're going to get?"
"I just like to buy vegetables and some basic food for my house."
"Do you have a family?"
"No."
你和一个陌生人走在街上。你们在人行横道、公交车站或其他需要你们停车的地方停车，陌生人问:“你们要去哪儿?
“去买食品杂货。”
“你打算买什么？”
“我还不知道。”
“如果你不知道，那你怎么知道你要买哪些食品？”
“我只是想为我的房子买一些蔬菜和一些基本的食物。”
“你有家人吗？”
“没有。”
"Yes."
"Well that's good at least you have that going for you. You'd never find a husband if you can't cook."
In my experience, Chinese people tend to be very curious and "open" in the sense that it doesn't matter if you're a stranger, they will share and extract many details which are, to a US citizen, ordinarily considered very personal. They will also very honestly share their reactions and opinions.
I used to get asked all the time where I was going, whether I'd eaten lunch/dinner/breakfast yet today and what it was, whether I'm married or have kids, etc.
“哦，随便买点就好，结婚后会不一样的。你知道怎么做饭吗？”
“知道。”
“好吧，至少你有这样的能力。如果你不会做饭，你就永远找不到丈夫。”
根据我的经验，中国人往往非常好奇和“开放”，因为不管你是不是陌生人，他们都会分享和问道很多细节，对美国公民来说，这些细节通常被认为是非常私人的。他们也会非常诚实地分享自己的看法和观点。
我过去经常被问到我要去哪里，我今天是否吃过午餐/晚餐/早餐，吃过什么，我是否已婚以及是否有孩子，等等。
When I was four or five years old, my dad once asked me: "Sweetheart, do you remember where you came from?"
Me: "Um...from mom's belly?"
My mom: "Oh, you were actually a giveaway when I paid the phone bill at the China Mobile business hall."
Thanks, mom. You didn't say I was picked up from a dustbin near our home=.=
|
All I want to say is that Chinese parents seldom tell their children where they're from seriously, because of the conservative and traditional view about sex.
Taxi driver: Where would you like to go?
Me: States destination.
Taxi driver: I'm sorry I can't go there. That destination is behind us. That way ( points behind ) ... You see, this lane is going this way ( points forward ).
Me: ...
Me: Can we go around the block? I don't mind the extra charge, its very hard to find a taxi right now.
Taxi driver: I think it would be better if you just got a taxi that was going the other way.
Me: I really don't understand the problem. Look just make a left up here, traffic is pretty good today.
Taxi driver: Sigh ( makes illegal 10 second u-turn and is happily singing with the radio ... We're on our way. )
出租车司机：你想去哪里？
我：....目的地。
出租车司机：对不起，我不能去那里,我刚才那过来。那边（指向后面），你看，这条车道往这边走的（指向前方）。
我：......
我：我们能绕着街区走吗？我不介意额外付费，现在很难找到出租车。
出租车司机：我想如果你最好坐相反方向的出租车会好一点。
我：我真的不明白这个问题。看，在这里左转，很好走。
出租车司机：叹气（违规掉头10秒，高兴地跟随着收音机唱歌，于是我们上路了。）
Kevin Qi，软件工程师（2019年至今）
Parents of daughter: How old is your son?
Parents of son: 31. How old is your daughter?
Parents of daughter: 26. How much does your son make?
Parents of son: He makes 100k a year. Where did your daughter go to school?
Parents of daughter: She went to Fudan University. Where did your son go? Also, how tall is your son?
Parents of son: He went to Jiaotong University and he’s 5′10. How tall is your daughter? Also, how much property does your family own?
Parents of daughter: She’s 5′1. We own two apartments in such and such area of Shanghai. What about your family?
Parents of son: We own one apartment in such and such area, but are willing to buy a new one and put your daughter’s name on it once they’re married.
Parents of daughter: I think they are a good fit. Let’s have our kids meet.
Parents of son: I agree. (Exchange contact info and goes home to tell kids)
中国父母帮助子女寻找伴侣的对话：
女儿的父母：你儿子多大了？
儿子的父母：31岁。你女儿多大了？
女儿的父母：26岁。你儿子挣多少钱？
儿子的父母：他一年挣10万英镑。你女儿在哪里上学？
女儿的父母：她上的是复旦大学。你儿子在哪上学？还有，你儿子有多高？
儿子的父母：他上的是交通大学，身高5英尺10英寸。你女儿有多高？还有，你家有多少财产？
女儿的父母：她身高5英尺1英寸。我们在上海某某地区拥有两套公寓。你家呢？
儿子的父母：我们在某某地区拥有一套公寓，但他们愿意买一套新的，一旦结婚，就在上面写上你女儿的名字。
女儿的父母：我觉得他们很合适。让我们的孩子见个面。
儿子的父母：我同意。（交换联系信息，回家告诉孩子们）
[After having dinner at a restaurant, Zhang and Li are fighting for the priority to pay the bill at the cashier's.]
Zhang: What a wonderful meal! It's on me.
Li: Who says?! Let me pay it.
Zhang: Come on. Don't stand on ceremony（别客气）. We had agreement first.
Zhang: Don't bother. Anyway, be my guest.
Li: NONONO. I'll pay this time, next time is your turn, OK?
Zhang: Don't talk nonsense. Give me a face（给个面子）.
Zhang: Hey! Take your money back! (Speak to waitor) Don't take his money. Here's my card. Use it.
Li: (Speak to waitor) No. Don't listen to him. I'm the payer.
Waitor: ...Please come back here after you make decision. Next.
在餐厅用餐后，张先生和李先生正在在收银台抢着付款。
张：这顿饭真开心！我请客。
李：谁说要你付？让我来付。
张：别客气，开始说好的我来付的。
李：什么协议？我不记得有什么协议。
张：不用麻烦了，不管怎样，我来吧。
李：好好好，这次我付钱，下次你再付，好吧！
张：别再说了咯，给个面子，我来。
李：做了这么多年的朋友，如果你坚持付款，我们就不能再做朋友了。
张：嘿！拿回你的钱！对服务员说：不要拿他的钱，这是我的银行卡，刷我的卡。
李：（对服务员说）不，别听他的，我来付款。
服务员：决定好再来买单哈，下一位先买吧。
约瑟夫·哈奇，我妻子和姻亲都来自中国大陆。我经常去那里旅行。
F: You and xxxx have been married for 4 years have you not?
J: Yes we have.
F: Well, what is keeping you from having children?
F: I know what it is!
F: You work too much, you drink to much, and you do not think my Daughter is attractive anymore.
J: Not true!
F: Quit your drinking, quit your smoking(cigarettes), and find Belief (religion).
F: What the hell happened to you? You gained weight and you are no longer physically fit.
F: Quit the shit! I want Grandsons! I want many! You two live in America. You are not bound by a single child policy. Make her pregnant there then come back here. It is not difficult. Are you having health problems? Do you not want her anymore? She is not getting any younger!
Have more bai ju! Your glass is empty! Have more food you have not eaten enough.
在过去的农历新年里，我和岳父进行了这次谈话，当时我们在中国东部。
父亲：你和xxxx已经结婚四年了，是吗？
我:是的。
父亲：怎么还没生孩子？
父亲：我知道是什么原因！
父亲：你工作太多，喝酒太多，还有你觉得我女儿不再有吸引力了。
我:没有没有！
父亲：戒酒，戒烟（香烟），找到信仰（宗教）。
父亲：你到底怎么了？你体重增加，身体不再健康。
父亲:别废话了！我想要孙子！我想要抱好几个呢！你们俩住在美国。你不受独生子女政策的约束。让她怀孕之后再回来。这并不难，你有健康问题吗？你不再想要她了吗？她不再年轻了！
多喝点白酒！你的杯子都空了！多吃一些，都是你平时都吃不到的。
Chara Chan，在中国四川出生长大
My family owns two apartments, so I let my mom live in the new one with elevator while I dwell in the older one.
So, there is one old lady who collects our utilities every month. Each family pays her extra 3 RMB for her service.
She asked me how much water I used.
I said: "6 tons".
She was not happy, saying:"why so much?"
I actually don't need to answer this ridiculous quesition, because she's not my mom and I don't think 6 tons is a biggie.
But to show respect for her, I replied :"I take shower every day."
She then said:"How many showers you take every day?" not in a very polite way.
She seems to have an issue with my "waste" of the water and electricity, because she lives on social welfare. Her act of comparing my life with hers is really torturing me. This is not the only time I have answered weird questions like this. She showed concern about my use of electricity in the summer time when the temperature hit 40 degrees celsius. I spent 100 RMB(18dollars, which is quite normal usage in my city) on the electricity that month because I had to keep the air-conditioner on all day long. So she kept nagging about this until she disappeared on the staircase.
I thought after I left the small CPC residential area I lived in the third tier city, I'd no longer be bothered by those old lady's prying into my private life.
今晚9点我刚和邻居进行了一次非常奇怪的谈话。
我家有两套公寓，所以我让妈妈住在带电梯的新公寓里，而我住在旧公寓。
有一位老太太每个月都会收我们的水电费。每个家庭为她的服务额外支付3元人民币。
她问我用了多少水。
我说：“6吨”。
她不高兴地问道：“为什么这么多？”
我其实不需要回答这个荒谬的问题，因为她不是我妈妈，我也不认为6吨是个很大数字。
但为了表达对她的尊重，我回答说：“我每天都洗澡。”
然后她说：“你每天洗多少次澡？”并且不是以非常礼貌的方式。
她似乎对我“浪费”水电有意见，因为她靠领取社会福利生活。她拿我的生活和她的生活作比较，真是折磨我。这不是我唯一一次回答这样奇怪的问题。夏天气温达到40摄氏度时，她对我用电表示担忧。那个月我花了100元（18美元，这在我的城市是很正常）电费，因为我不得不整天开着空调，对此她一直在楼梯上唠叨，直到她消失在楼梯上。
我以为离开我在三线城市居住的小区后，我就不会再被那些老女人窥探我的私生活所困扰了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
"Has your mom become a millionaire?"
"Did your dad re-married?"
I'd roll my eyes and left in silence.
But, shit happens again.
This old lady used to think that I rely heavily on my mom.
Last month, when I paid her the fees, she said: "It great that you don't have to rely on your mom any more."
LOL. I might be the person with the highest annual salary in this old neighborhood, but now I'm considered to be a jobless pathetic single woman by them, simply because they saw me returning home very early or staying at home for days without working. I won't tell them that I am paid by hours and sometimes I hold more than 6 jobs at the same time, with projects from the colleges and high schools as well.
I am this kind of person who would keep my humble lifestyle no matter how the other Chinese judge me.
Jesus, I hope I'd find a place where nobody cares about me.
他们经常问我：“你妈妈离婚后在哪里？”
“你妈妈成为百万富翁了吗？”
“你爸爸结婚了吗？”
我会翻白眼，然后默默地离开。
但是，糟糕的事情又发生了。
这位老太太曾经认为我很依赖我妈妈。
上个月，当我给她付费时，她说:“你不用再依赖你妈妈了，真的太好了。”
哈哈，但现在他们认为我是一个失业的可悲的单身女人，仅仅因为他们看到我很早回家或在家待几天不用工作。我不会告诉他们我的工资是按小时计算的，有时我同时做6份以上的工作，还有大学和高中的项目。。
我是那种不管其他中国人如何评价我都会保持谦逊生活方式的人。
天啊，真希望我能找到一个没人关心我的地方。
I married to a white American man.
“Do your husband own a house and a car?”
“He used to have a car. But he got rid of it after moved to NYC. And he doesn’t have a house. We live in an apartment.”
“Oh, so you married him just because he’s white?”
“Is your husband rich?”
“Not really. For a couple of years we made the same salary.”
“Oh, so you married him just because he’s white?”
“Oh, I will take it as a no then. So you married him just because he’s white?”
“How did you get your green card?”
“I got it because I married to a US citizen.”
“Oh, so you married your husband just because he’s white and can get you a green card?”
我嫁给了一个美国白人。
“你丈夫有房子和车吗？”
“他以前有一辆车。但他搬到纽约后就把它扔掉了。他没有房子，我们住在一套公寓里。”
“哦，你嫁给他只是因为他是白人？”
“你丈夫有钱吗？”
“不完全是。有几年我们的薪水都一样。”
“哦，你嫁给他只是因为他是白人？”
“哦，那我就当你拒绝了。所以你嫁给他只是因为他是白人？”
“你是怎么拿到绿卡的？”
“我得到它是因为我嫁给了一个美国公民。
“Yes go ahead.”
“I married my husband because we are soulmates. We share similar interests, values and sense of humor. I don’t f**king care if he is white or blue. I’d still marry him even he is a Smurf!”
“Girl, love won’t buy you bread. I bet you two will divorce in five years. “
A random Chinese guy on my engagement dinner:
“There are so many single men in China. Why did you choose an American over them?”
Me (joking): “Because they don’t want me. “
Random guy: “You will be fine if you lose some weight. We don’t like fat girls.”
Me: “See that guy over there in a suit? He loves his fat girl.”
“我能告诉你一件事吗？”
“可以，说吧。”
“我嫁给我丈夫是因为我们是灵魂伴侣。我们有着相似的兴趣、价值观和幽默感。我不在乎他是白人还是什么。即使他是蓝精灵，我也会嫁给他！”
“女孩，爱情不会给你面包。我打赌你们两个五年内就会离婚。”
在我的订婚晚宴上，一个中国男人：
“中国有这么多单身男人。你为什么选择美国人而不是他们？”
我（开玩笑）：“因为他们不想要我。”
这个男人：“如果你减掉一些体重就好了，我们不喜欢胖女孩。”
我：“看到那边那个穿西装的朋友吗？他爱胖女孩。”
Craig Johnson，中国的企业家和创新者。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Many taxi drivers will want to hear my opinion on Trump vs. Clinton, the latest international conflict, and especially (as an American) my opinions on Chinese policies and actions internationally.
I think this actually stems from the uniformity in thought here in China. For example, if you ask a room full of your friends, “Do you like the new policy in China?” most will have generally positive reactions. Some may come up with one or two things they would like to see changed, but it is highly unlikely an angry debate will occur.
In the U.S., if you ask a room full of friends, “What do you think of the new policy in the U.S.?” you are likely to set off a firestorm of debate. This has both positive and negative effects on our society, but generally people try to steer clear of such controversial topics. Especially in business.
I have had numerous Chinese colleagues and business partners ask me if I am religious, Democrat or Republican, in favor of a given policy, and so on. It is best to speak primarily in metaphors when dealing with these difficult issues. In my opinion it is best to be honest while ensuring you protect the face of the person you’re talking with. In fact, this honesty is a major reason why many Chinese people are attracted to doing business with foreigners, and coming off as dishonest can hurt your relationships.
我认为在中国生活最令人惊讶的事情之一是人们多么愿意谈论政治。这完全违背了西方人对中国人的普遍期望。
很多出租车司机会想听我对特朗普和克林顿的看法，最近的国际冲突，尤其是(作为一个美国人)我对中国的国际政策和行动的看法。
我认为这实际上源于中国思想的一致性。例如，如果你问满屋子的朋友，“你喜欢中国的新政策吗？”大多数人都会有积极的反应。有些人可能会提出一两件他们希望看到改变的事情，但不太可能发生一场带愤怒情绪的辩论。
在美国，如果你问满屋子的朋友，“你觉得美国的新政策怎么样？”你可能会引发激烈的辩论。这对我们的社会有积极和消极的影响，但通常人们试图避开这些有争议的话题。尤其是在商业。
我曾有很多中国同事和商业伙伴问我是否信教，民主党还是共和党，是否支持某项政策，等等。在处理这些棘手的问题时，最好主要使用隐喻。在我看来，在确保与你交谈的人的面子的同时，最好保持诚实。事实上，这种诚实正是许多中国人喜欢与外国人做生意的一个主要原因，给人留下不诚实的印象会损害你的人际关系。
瑞安·迪翁，在中国工作3年
We got a bit of an iffy stare from the barber folks, probably because they haven't seen many foreigners (note that I am asian and she is pale white brit). And they took my jacket off and let my GF sit down on guest sofa.
They started talking in chinese to me, in which I assumed he asked 'what kinda style do I want for my hair?' but I didn't speak chinese so I pulled up my phone and showed them the picture I always show the barber whenever I have to get a haircut. He seemed to be amused to find me not being able speak chinese though I look chinese.
the conversation goes like this:
我和我的女朋友在买食物的路上，路过一家理发店时，我意识到我的头发该剪了，我想男士理发不会花太长时间，所以我们一起走进理发店，让我的女朋友等了一会儿。
理发师们用怀疑的目光盯着我们，可能是因为他们没见过多少外国人(注意我是亚洲人，她是白种人)。他们脱掉了我的夹克，让我的女朋友坐在客人沙发上。
他们开始用中文和我交谈，我猜他是在问“我想做什么样的发型?”但我不会说中文，所以我拿出手机给他们看我每次理发时都会给理发师看的那张照片。当他发现我看起来像中国人却不会说中文时，他似乎觉得很有趣
对话是这样的：
"I just don't" *shrugs my shoulder and smiled
"you not chinese, why not? your face is chinese"
"I wasn't born in china, but my dad is chinese"
"haha"
...silent for couple of minutes...
"that your girlfriend?" points to her
"yes"
"woah, why she like you?"
"....." I smiled
"you gonna get married?"
"........."
similar type of conversation happened more than once. Just different situations
“你为什么不说中文？”
“我就是不会说”我耸耸肩笑了笑
“你为什么不说中文？你的脸看上去就是中国人”
“我不是在中国出生的，但我爸爸是中国人”
“哈哈”
沉默了几分钟：
“那是你女朋友吗？”指向她
“是的”
“哇，她为什么喜欢你？”
"....." 我笑了
“你们会结婚吗？”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
类似的对话不止出现过一次，只是场合不同。