你为什么不想生孩子?
People who don’t ever want to have kids, why?译文简介
听起来确实很疼。
正文翻译
People who don’t ever want to have kids, why?
你为什么不想生孩子?
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It’s expensive and I don’t wanna pass on my genes in particular.
这太贵了,并且我不是很想把自己的基因遗传下去。
The gene thing in particular hits me hard. I have an incurable autoimmune disease, and there’s at least a 20% chance I pass the disease I have on to my children, and not to mention the possibility of an even more severe autoimmune disease like lupus. I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself if I passed that on to a child, especially with how much I struggle with my own disease. It’s one of the issues that bothers me most about whether I want to have kids or not
基因是我特别认同的一点。我有一个无法治愈的自体免疫疾病,并且我有至少20%的概率把这个疾病遗传给我的孩子们,更不用提它可能会变成像狼疮这种更加严重的自体免疫疾病。我觉得假如我把这种病遗传给孩子的话我会永远也无法原谅自己的,尤其是在知道我自己与自己的疾病抗争付出了多少代价的情况下。这是每当我想到要不要生孩子的时候最让我苦恼的问题。
also have autoimmune disease and autism both of which pass on. I'm not passing them on.
我也有自身免疫疾病和自闭症,这两个都会遗传。我不想遗传下去。
I just have no desire. I don’t hate kids, I love my Nieces and Nephews and have a great time being an influential part of their life. However, that means that I also see how difficult and stressful it is to raise kids. I understand that people really love it and it’s worth it to them, but that’s just not me.
我只是没有这方面的欲望而已。我并不讨厌孩子。我喜欢我的侄子侄女,乐于成为他们生命中重要的一部分。然而,这也意味着我见证了抚养子女有多么困难、压力有多大。我理解人们真的喜欢这个过程,并且对于他们来说这很值得,但对我来说确实不是这么一回事。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I love my niece and nephew too but after an entire day with them i really, really need some peace and quiet. If its your own kids, you dont get that. So i imagine that but 24/7 and i dont understand how people do it.
我也喜欢我的侄子侄女,但在我陪了他们一整天之后,我真的,真的需要一点平静的时光。假如那个孩子是你自己的,那你就根本没有这种机会了。所以我想象不出来7*24地看孩子是怎么做到的。
A few years ago I was still deciding whether I would ever want to have kids until I spent the night at my sister's house.
几年前,在我还在考虑要不要孩子的时候,我在姐姐家过了一晚。
看着这些孩子跑来跑去准备上学,让我的外甥女洗好澡准备出门,而我的外甥早晨八点在我耳边以120分贝的嗓音大哭让我意识到我绝对不想要孩子。
Fun fact: 120 decibels is actually very accurate for a baby’s cry. The noise level rating of kids is actually enough to cause hearing loss (if exposed to the same level of noise for hours)
有趣的事实:120分贝正好是婴孩啼哭准确的响度。孩子制造的噪音级别足够导致听觉丧失(假如在同样级别的声音之下暴露几个小时的话)。
I love my niece and nephew too but after an entire day with them i really, really need some peace and quiet. If its your own kids, you dont get that.
引用:“我也喜欢我的侄子侄女,但在我陪了他们一整天之后,我真的,真的需要一点平静的时光。假如那个孩子是你自己的,那你就根本没有这种机会了。”
这100%是我。我喜欢孩子们。别人家的孩子们。我喜欢花时间陪他们,教导他们,我在自己家附近的教堂做青年牧师志愿者干了36年。我也有5个侄子和一个侄孙,并且给很多朋友的孩子都当姨。
但我也喜欢在课程/一天/出去玩结束的时候送他们回家。要100%为一个孩子或很多孩子承受压力的生活是不适合我的。正是因为孩子们最后要和别人回家,我才能给“我的孩子们”提供更多的爱和耐心。
In psych class we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth. The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy. When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn't know how to care for them. I was raised horribly so I don't know how to raise someone well. My parents had children even though their parents abused them. My grandparents' parents probably also abused them. I'm just cutting off the cycle.
在心理课上我们学过一个研究,他们把刚出生的猴子和母亲分开。猴子长大之后变得又焦虑又紧张。这些猴子有了自己的孩子之后,当母亲的也不知道该怎么照顾他们。我自己是在非常可怕的环境下长大的,所以我也不清楚该怎么好好地将别人抚养成人。我的父母的父母虐待过他们,但他们还是选择了要孩子。我祖父母的父母很可能也虐待过自己的孩子。我只是不想再进行这个循环了。
You know how people often say “I’ll do a better job than my parents ever did”? Yeah, that doesn’t always work out that way.
你知道人们有多经常说“我要比我的父母做得好得多”吗?没错,其实结果并不总是像他们说的那样。
我的父母对待我们非常糟糕。我的姐姐说“我会比他们做得更好!”她真的以为她可以。但她没做到。她没能完成自己的学业,和我们的父母一样。她被照顾自己孩子的负担压垮了,也和我们的父母一样。她的丈夫就是个废物,和我们的父亲一样。她有精神问题没有得到治疗,和我们的母亲一样。她的孩子们都不听话,经常互相打架,一点也没有礼貌。
她并没能做到更好。
我自己的问题得到了帮助,但我也能打包票,我不会成为一个更好的家长。我唯一能做的就是给青少年当继父母,这样我就能帮他们上学,上大学,找到合适的帮助。因为假如我能做到,他们也能。青少年是需要帮助的。假如已经有很多孩子等待我去帮助了,那么我也没有必要再给这个世界生一个。我真希望在我还是个青少年的时候,有人能帮帮我。
I also want to foster instead of have a baby! When I think about having a child, it freaks me out, but when I think of adoption/fostering it makes me happy inside. I feel like I would be a terrible mother for a baby or toddler, but can be a good parent for teens.
我也想要领养,而不是自己生!我一想到生孩子,就吓得要晕过去,但是想到领养别的孩子的话,就会让我的内心感到快乐。我觉得我给婴幼儿当母亲会很糟糕,但是给青少年当母亲却会很好。
Freedom. My husband and I would probably be pretty good parents and we’re in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other. We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids.
自由。我和我丈夫应该会是不错的家长,并且我们的家境也很好,但我们觉得拥有彼此就足够完美了。我们一起很开心,并且也希望余生能够在没有孩子的责任和压力的情况下过下去。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Because I believe that children deserve parents that will love them, always put them first, spend quality time with them and make sacrifices so that their children can have the best opportunities. But at the same time have the strength to set boundaries and discipline them in a healthy way so that they grow into good human beings.
因为我相信孩子是理应得到永远爱他们的家长,永远把他们放在第一位的家长,认真花时间陪他们,并且做出牺牲,让他们的孩子有最好的机会的家长。但与此同时,也应该有足够的魄力来为他们制定边界,用健康的方式来给他们制定规矩,让他们成长成好的人类。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
还有因为我现在没有伴侣,在人生的这个阶段也没有足够的财务稳定性,我也不想当一个单亲家长,或是在无法给孩子提供条件的前提下把孩子带到这个世界上。
我也不相信我自己能够无私到成为我的孩子值得的一切。我有时会发现自己有这样的想法:孩子挺好的,但直到我确定自己没问题,财务稳定并且在一段稳定的关系里之前,我应该不会要孩子。
编辑:首先我想要感谢所有人的回答、奖励和建议。不论同意与否,能够获得平衡的观点总是好的。所以请不要把那些不同意我的观点的人踩到底下去。你可以从与你不同的意见之中学到很多。
我也想澄清一点,我说的牺牲并不是那种“把我拖到火堆去让我成为烈士”的那种牺牲,你一定要先保证自己的健康和生活质量。但除非你已经生活得非常舒适,很显然作为一个家长,你要决定要不要为自己的孩子牺牲一些东西。不论是小到为孩子在学校想要的东西省下一件你自己想买的新衣服,还是为了不让你的孩子在关键阶段跟你到处跑而放弃你梦想中的工作。这些都是牺牲,并且也有很多人因为为自己的孩子做了牺牲而感到愤愤不平。
Totally agree with this! Right now my reason for not wanting kids is just that...I don’t want them. And because I think kids deserve parents who 110% love them and are willing to make sacrifices for them, I’d say that’s reason enough! I don’t want kids unless, at some point down the road, I can say with complete certainty that I do.
完全同意你的看法!现在我不想要孩子的唯一原因就是……不想要。因为我觉得孩子们需要家长付出110%的爱,并且愿意为他们付出牺牲。我要说这一个原因就足够了!我不想要孩子,除非在接下来人生中的某一时刻,我能完全确信地说我想要孩子。
As someone who wants to become an elementary school teacher, people are often shocked to find out I don't want children. But the reason is simple: they cost a LOT of money, they take op a lot of free time and space and I have terrible genes.
作为一个想要成为小学老师的人,人们都对我不想要孩子这件事感到非常惊讶。但是原因很简单。孩子要花很多钱,要占据大量的空闲时间和经历,并且我的基因很糟糕。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I'm actually considering becoming a teacher too and I also don't want kids. I love science and I like to explain things about ecology or biology so teaching is like a free captive audience jkjk I had a really shitty science teacher and a really shit school and I want to offer something better to kids. My parents were kind of negletful and I got bullied a lot so I feel like I would be a teacher that could show them empathy they wouldn't normally get. I feel like I'm too poor to have my own and I worry about not being a good parent and also losing my freedom. But kids that go away at the end of the day might not be so bad.
我也在考虑成为一名教师,并且我也不想要孩子。我喜欢科学,我也喜欢解释生态学和生物学这些东西,所以教他们就像是有一群免费的不得不听的听众一样,开个玩笑哈。我以前的科学老师和学校都非常糟糕,所以我想要给孩子们提供一些更好的东西。我的家长们都挺不管我的,我受过很多欺负,所以我觉得假如我能当老师的话,我能给他们带来他们一般得不到的共情。我觉得我太穷,不配有自己的孩子,我也担心不能当好家长,也担心失去我的自由。但每天晚上各回各家的那种孩子或许就好很多。
I am a child-free high school biology and chemistry teacher. When I first started teaching, I was kinda on the fence about having kids. I just finished my 9th year teaching and I love my job, but I am now 100% certain I don’t want my own kids. I love my students and you’re right, having a free captive audience while I nerd out about some topic is awesome, but I couldn’t stand coming home and spending the rest of my limited time with even more children. It’s convinced me enough I’m going to get snipped next month.
我是个没有自己孩子的高中生物和化学老师。在我刚开始教学的时候,我对于要孩子这件事算是骑墙的状态。现在我刚刚结束自己第九年的教学,我热爱我的工作,但我现在100%确定我不想要自己的孩子。我喜欢我的学生们,并且你说得对,在我对感兴趣的话题口若悬河的时候有一群免费的没法跑的听众真的很棒,但我也无法忍受回家之后还要花自己有限的剩余时间和更多的孩子打交道的事实。我打算下个月就去结扎。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I'm a child-free teacher, and I honestly don't know why more teachers don't want to be child-free too.
我是个没有孩子的老师,我真的不知道为什么那么多老师都不考虑不要孩子。
我热爱我的工作,并且能给孩子们的未来带来帮助真的是一件优越的事情,我也真的觉得我在为下一代做出贡献。
我只是没有让下一代拥有我自己的基因的欲望。
还有,我也不想显得自己很自私。我还是很看重回家之后有个没有孩子的地方的。
这对我来说并没不符合逻辑。
假如我是个医生的话,那我也不想在我自己家里有一群病人。
Lack of desire to become a parent or have kids.
没有当家长或是生孩子的欲望。
你知道有些人确实特别想要孩子,他们甚至会感到精神上和感情上出现问题,因为没有孩子,或者知道自己不能有孩子。有的人说他们感到荷尔蒙在催促,特别想要孩子,根本控制不了?她们的卵巢都要爆炸了?想要孩子想到发烧?或者别的特别想立刻要孩子的词?
我从来没经历过。人们一直告诉我等我长大,30岁的时候,找到灵魂伴侣的时候,朋友都开始生孩子的时候,等等,我就会有这种感觉。这些里程碑我已经全经历一遍了,但我仍然没有这种欲望。
我也不觉得假如没有这个欲望的话,有生孩子的必要。
A lot of people think they have to have kids and don't ever ask themselves whether they want them or not.
很多人觉得他们必须生个孩子,甚至不问问自己到底想不想要生。
Same!
俺也一样!
别人问我为什么我不要孩子,我回答“就是不想要”,真的很怪。没有什么黑暗的秘密之类的。就像我不想学会计或者我不想学小提琴一样。这件事本身一点错都没有;我只是没这个兴趣。
I was parentified as child to my 4 younger siblings. When I see a child now, I act nice but cannot wait to get away from it.
我早在童年时期就给我的四个弟弟妹妹当家长了。现在我见到孩子的时候,我会表现得很友善,但我等不及赶紧跑。
听见孩子大哭或是尖叫,会让我接下来的一整天都笼罩在生气或糟糕的情绪中。
我已经照顾过够多的孩子了,但我根本没有体会过任何积极的结果。
Yeah I'm with this. My two younger half brothers are 10 and 13 years younger than me, and I have a sister 3 years older. My sister and I basically raised my little brothers because our mum was working alot of nights and weekends and their father was always playing video games while we fed them and bathed them and all that stuff. As an added bonus one of my brothers had type one diabetes from the age of 3 so we would regularly look after his blood sugar levels and give him insulin injections. We were still teenagers at the time too. Now I have no interest in having kids because I already know all the work involved and I've done it before, and my partner isn't interested in kids either, we would rather save our money and travel the world
没错我懂你。我的两个继弟比我小10岁和13岁,我有一个比我大3岁的姐姐。这两个弟弟基本上是被我和我姐姐带大的,因为我们的妈妈当时上很多夜班,而在我们喂他们,给他们洗澡的时候,他们的爸爸一直在打游戏。更糟糕的是有个弟弟从三岁那年开始患上了一型糖尿病,我们得定期看他的血糖水平,给他胰岛素注射。我们那时候也只是青少年。现在我对生孩子没有任何兴趣,因为我早就体验过了这一切所需要的的功夫,我的伴侣对孩子也没有兴趣,我们宁愿省下钱来周游世界。
Can't even take care of myself.
我连自己都照顾不明白。
I dont even know if I will have a future myself. It feels selfish to bring a child into this world at this current state.
我甚至不知道自己的未来会如何。在我现在这个状况把一个孩子带到这个世界来感觉挺自私的。
I personally don't want to put my body thru the trauma of growing and birthing a child/children, I can barely emotionally handle myself a lot of the time and don't want to risk passing on any of my mental illnesses to someone who didn't ask to be born, and they're overall a huge financial burden and with the pandemic having destroyed my personal finances, I will never be in a financial position to feel comfortable raising a child.
我个人不想让我的身体经历孕育、妊娠的痛苦。我连自己的感情都经常控制不了,我也不想冒险把我的精神疾病遗传给某个没想降生的人,并且他们基本上都是巨大的经济负担,疫情已经毁掉了我的个人财产,所以我永远也没办法到达能心安理得地养育一个孩子的财务水平了。
I don’t want to give birth and go through all that.. Adoption is a long process and a lot of money that I don’t have. Kids are expensive
我不想生产,不像经历那一切。领养的过程太长,要花太多我根本没有的钱。孩子太贵了。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I'm also scared of giving birth. I don't want kids anyway but just hearing the stories of some women's birth experience freaks me out.
我也害怕生产。我本来就不想生孩子,但只是听着某些女人生孩子的经历我就要吓惨了。
Yes!! I’m surprised I had to scroll this far to find this comment. My aunt became pregnant when I was 16. I remember one day she came into my bedroom and said “Hey! Check this out!!” and lifted her shirt. Her belly was rippling and moving. You could see 1huge bumps moving across her skin. At one point, I swear I saw the outline of a tiny footprint for a few seconds. She thought it was adorable. I couldn’t bear to look at, let alone touch, her stomach. She insisted that it didn’t hurt at all, but it honestly looked like something from the movie ‘alien’. If you’re really curious, you can look up videos of babies kicking from inside the womb on YouTube to get an idea of what I’m describing. I decided there and then that I did not want kids. It was honestly a relief when I realised I was a lesbian and that I would never accidentally become pregnant. Pregnancy is absolutely a form of body horror. I don’t think I would be able to even look at my own belly if I ever somehow became pregnant.
没错!!我竟然要翻这么久才翻到这个评论。在我16岁那年,我姨怀孕了。我记得有一天她走到我的卧室跟我说“嘿,看看这个!!”然后把她的衬衫掀了起来。她的肚子在一边泛起波纹一边颤动。你能看见有个巨大的肿块在她的皮肤表面移动。在一个瞬间,我发誓我看出了一个小小的脚印。她觉得那特别可爱。但她的肚子我根本连看都不敢看,更不敢碰了。她坚持说一点都不疼,但说真的看起来就像电影《异性》里的镜头一样。假如你真的对此感到好奇的话,你可以去YouTube上搜索那些孩子从子宫里往外踢的视频,你就懂我在说什么了。就是在彼时彼刻,我决定我不想要孩子了。后来当我意识到我是个女同性恋,永远也不会意外怀孕的时候我释怀了很多。怀孕绝对是身体恐惧的一种形式。我觉得假如我怀孕的话我会连自己的肚子都不敢看的。
My brothers are twins and used to fight when my mom was pregnant. You could literally see their little bums sticking out from either side of her belly. She'd carry icepacks around to make them stop - not that it helped, they ended up cracking a couple of ribs and breaking her tailbone by the time they were born.
我的两个弟弟是双胞胎,妈妈怀他们的时候他们两个经常在肚子里打架。你可以看见他们的屁股从她的肚子两侧凸出来。她得在肚子旁边放冰袋来让他们停下,但这并没有用,最后分娩的时候他们两个弄断了几根肋骨,和她的尾椎骨。
Woah, that's insane! Never thought babies could break bones from the womb :O
我的天哪,这可太可怕了!我从没想过孩子会从子宫里把骨头弄断。
The uterus is a very strong muscle, it will make the space the babies need at almost any cost
子宫是一块非常强壮的肌肉,它会不惜任何代价给婴儿提供需要的空间的。