是什么样的情况或经历让你意识到自己嫁对了人？

Bobbie Miller 
While we were dating, my mother decided to quit her job, sell her house, and move halfway across the continental US to be closer to my middle sister. She had just had a baby and needed the assistance while she went back to work for the Air Force.

当我和丈夫还在谈恋爱的时候，我妈妈决定辞掉工作，卖掉房子，搬到美国大陆的另一边，离我的二姐更近一些。我二妹生孩子不久就需要回到空军工作，我妈妈要帮忙照看小孩。

My boyfriend (at that time) agreed to help me move my mom from the Midwest to California to live with my sister. My sister chipped in some money for gas and paid for the rental of a U-Haul trailer. We used his truck and I paid for the rest of the gas to get her and her things out there. I think it was during this long drive together to pick her up and then drive her to Cali, that I realized this was the right guy for me. Not many would go out of their way to help your family like this.

我的男朋友(当时)同意帮我把我的妈妈从中西部搬到加利福尼亚和我姐姐一起住。我姐姐给了一些油钱，还付了一辆 u 型拖车的租金。我们用了我男朋友的卡车来运东西，我付了剩下的油钱把我妈和她的东西运到那里。在一起开车把我妈送到加利福尼亚的旅途中，我意识到这才是我的真命天子。没有多少人愿意这样帮助你的家人。

Years later, after we’d married and moved to another state, my mother needed somewhere new to live. My sister was now pregnant with number three and was married to the father of the two newest children. She no longer needed my mother living there to help out, and her being there was causing strain on their marriage so my sister more or less kicked my mother out. My mother did not have a good job nor the skills to get one. While discussing the situation, my husband said to me “she’ll just 
have to come live with us then”. Only the right guy who knows how much family means to me and it means the same to him.

几年后，当我们结婚并搬到另一个州之后，我的母亲需要一个新的住处。我的姐姐当时已经怀上了第三个孩子，并且嫁给了一个有两个刚出生的孩子的男人。她不再需要我的母亲住在那里帮忙，我姐姐感觉我母亲在那里给他们的婚姻带来了压力，所以我的姐姐把我的母亲赶了出去。我的母亲没有一份好工作，也没有能力得到一份好工作。在讨论这个问题时，我丈夫对我说: “那么她只好搬来和我们一起住了。”。只有正确的人知道家庭对我有多重要，这对他也是一样的。

My mother moved in with us and shortly after moving in, she took a bad tumble and broke her spine in four different places. She is now disabled but we are still doing our best to make it work. We’ve been financially supporting her while she fights for disability due to her injuries and ongoing pain. I know it isn’t the best situation for my husband but he is such a good spirit about it. He gets frustrated and shares his frustrations with me but then will say, “…but I know that she has no where else to go, so we’ll just have to figure out a better way to deal with this”.

我妈妈搬进来和我们住在一起，搬进来后不久，她摔了一跤，脊椎骨四处骨折。她现在是残疾人，但是我们仍然在尽最大的努力来帮助我妈妈。我们一直在经济上支持她，她也因为伤病和持续的疼痛持续康复。我知道这对我丈夫来说不是最好的情况，但是他的精神状态非常好。他很沮丧，和我分享他的沮丧，但是之后他会说，“ ... 但是我知道她没有其他地方可去，所以我们必须找到一个更好的方法来处理这件事。”。

He is so great. We are saving up our money to be able to build her an ADA compliant Mother-in-Law Suite in our backyard. Hopefully one day she’ll have her own space all to herself where she can feel a little more independent while we have a little more alone time together in our house.

他太伟大了。我们正在攒钱，以便能够在我们的后院为她建立一个遵守《美国残疾人法》的套房。希望有一天她能拥有属于她自己的空间，在那里她可以感觉到更加独立，而我们可以在我们的房子里有更多的独处时间。

Cindy Sebastian Jenkins 
Thank you for requesting my response. Unfortunately, my answer is not really suitable for this question.

谢谢你的邀请。不幸的是，我的回答不太适合这个问题。

My marriage, although on paper is. 33 years. It is not one of companionship, love nor mutual respect. Oh yes in the early years everything was hunky dory and a joyful bliss. I was on top of the world , had a handsome husband, was desired, a beautiful baby girl la la la,. Fast forward 10 years. Now three children, a house, dog, cat, excellent job. Everything was great.

我结婚已经33年了。我的这段婚姻不算是一种友谊，爱，也不是相互尊重。刚结婚的时候，一切都是美好的，幸福的。我感觉自己是世界上最幸福的女人，有一个英俊的丈夫，被渴望，有一个美丽的宝贝女孩，......。往前快进10年，现在有三个孩子，一所房子，一只狗，一只猫，一份好的工作。一切都很好。

Well fast forward another 10 years. 20th anniversary. The most beautiful bouquet of flowers d elivered to where I work. Out of 11 workers, I was the only one married and to my first husband at that. I was the envy of so many people.

很快又过了10年，但了我们结婚20周年纪念日。我丈夫把一束最美丽的花送到了我工作的地方。在11个工人中，我是唯一一个结婚的，而且还是头婚。很多人都嫉妒我。

Well rather than fast forward 10 years, let's go a little more than 1 1/2. My world rocked and I never saw it coming. Now I was dealing with a child addicted to opiotes and a husband smoking meth, going on dating sites, messaging other women, setting up meetings with other women. From that point on, it had been nothing but downhill. I could go on and on.

不用再快进10年，快进1.5年我的世界就发生了天翻地覆的变化，我从来没有预见到它的到来。现在我面对的是一个对阿片类药物上瘾的孩子和一个吸食冰毒的丈夫，我丈夫上交友网站，给其他女人发短信，安排与其他女人的会面。从那时起，一切就只剩下下坡路了。我可以一直说下去。

But to end this story and keep it short, I am getting custody of my granddaughter due to her parents being no good (well haven't seen mom in 5 years she could be dead; don I jail). Once the final custody papers are in, I bid a farewell to the body that used to be my husband's. I look forward to saying good bye to the last 14/15 years of sheer hell.

长话短说，我正在争取我孙女的监护权，因为她的父母对孩子很不好(孙女已经5年没有见到妈妈了，如果没有在监狱的话，她可能已经死了)。一旦最终的监护权文件到手，我就和我丈夫离婚。我期待着和过去14/15年的地狱生活说再见。

New beginnings for a 59 year old with quite a bit of distance between the old life. From Florida to California I emerge as a stronger and much less nieve person than I was 33 years ago. Guess at some point we all have to grow up. 

对于一个59岁的人来说，新的开始与旧的生活之间有着相当大的距离。从佛罗里达到加利福尼亚，与33年前相比，我变得更加坚强，也不再那么孤僻。我想在某种程度上我们都得长大。

Again, thank you for requesting my answer.

再次感谢你的邀请。

Mark Gray
This is an easy question. When I met my late wife, we were talking and in my experiences. So when my late wife told me that her phone was going to get cut off, I offered to pay her bill (without any major loss). She tells me “No, I don't want to ruin your finances.” In my mind, I was like, wow someone actually cares about me the person rather than what I have. And she said the right things, we went to church, places I've been to and she liked, she came bowling with me on league night to see me bowl my 3rd perfect game and enjoyed every minute with me. She strived to better herself every day and got her license and the very next day, I proposed to her, only to screw it up. I put a key ring with car and house key on the wrong hand, ask her, do you know what this means? She answered “yes" so I left for work. She calls me and asked me, “is there something you want to ask me?” So, I ask a bunch of stupid yes no questions to finally get to THE question. Her response was “I'd be stupid to say no!” After that, she changed jobs and came to work where I work. She understood how to help save money than splurge it. She saw me at my lowest and was there for me. She saw me at my highest and was there for me.

这是一个简单的问题。当我第一次遇到我已故的妻子时，我们正在聊天。当我已故的妻子告诉我她的手机要停机的时候，我主动提出帮她付账单(没有多少钱)。她告诉我“不，我不想让你因此财务吃紧。”在我的脑海里，我想，哇，有人真的关心我这个人，而不是我拥有什么。后来我们一起去了教堂，去了我之前去过的地方，她喜欢。她在联赛的晚上和我一起打保龄球，看我第三次打出完美的比赛，和我一起享受每一分钟。她每天都在努力提高自己，并且拿到了驾照。在她拿驾照的第二天，我向她求婚，结果却搞砸了。我把一个带有车钥匙和房子钥匙的钥匙圈放错了手，问她，你知道这意味着什么吗？她回答“知道”。然后我就去上班了。她打电话给我，问我: “你有什么事要问我吗?”然后我问了一堆愚蠢的关于是或不是的问题，最后问出了最重要的问题（你愿意嫁给我吗？）。她的回答是: “我要是拒绝，那就太蠢了!”在那之后，她换了工作，来到我工作的地方工作。她懂得如何帮助省钱而不是挥霍。她在我最低谷的时候看到了我，一直陪在我身边。她见证了我的辉煌时刻，并一直支持我。

Crysti Drake
I told a friend that I had caught her husband cheating. Her husband found out it was me who told his wife. The other guy went to my husband and told my husband that he needed to get me in line. Terrance knew what was going on, I was surprised at the response from Terrance. Man, he was out of his truck, before God got the news, and told the cheater that he needed to get himself in line, and until that was done, he didn't need to be giving Terrance marriage advice. Then he told the cheating dog if 
he EVER disrespected me like that again, he wouldn't be walking away like he was going to be allowed to do this time. I knew Terrance wasn't happy because I had told my friend, he really doesn't care for confrontation, but he still put the cheater in his place, where I was concerned.

我告诉一个朋友我发现她丈夫出轨了。她丈夫发现是我告诉他妻子的。后来这个家伙走到我丈夫跟前，告诉我丈夫他需要让我乖乖听话，不要多管闲事。特伦斯（我丈夫）知道发生了什么，我对特伦斯的反应感到惊讶。伙计，在上帝得到这个消息之前，他已经从卡车里出来了，告诉那个背叛者，他需要管好自己，在这之前，他不需要这个背叛者给他一些关于婚姻方面的建议。然后他告诉这个男人，如果他再像那样不尊重我，他就不会像这次这样放过他了。我知道特伦斯不高兴，因为我告诉了我的朋友，他真的不喜欢正面冲突，但是他还是让这个背叛者乖乖听话，不要再对我出言不逊。

ReeRee Sanchez 
When I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and he grabs and hold on and never lets me go until I realize it’s him and he’s here to stay.

当我半夜从我噩梦中醒来时，他紧紧抓住我不放，直到我意识到是他，他会一直陪伴着我的时候，我知道我遇上了真命天子。

When he helps me on my bad days that I could hardly walk.

当他帮助我度过困难的日子时候，那时我几乎不能走路。

When he tells me e we have 99 more years to go

当他告诉我我们还有99年的时间的时候

Debbie Lasser 
There is actually more than one reason. But what truly stands out is the fact that he would drive 2 hours each way to pick me up for our weekends together.

实际上有不止一个情况。但真正引人注目的是，他每次开两个小时的车来接我一起过周末。

Another reason is that he came to get me at 4 A.M. because he knew I was sick & wanted to see me & get me to the clinic.

另一个情况是，他在凌晨4点来接我，因为他知道我生病了，他想见我，带我去诊所。

There are many reasons I married the man of my dreams and those are just two. But because he loves me so much and wants to take care of me, I know he's the right person.

我嫁给我的梦中情人有很多原因，这只是其中的两个。但是因为他非常爱我，想要照顾我，我知道他就是我的真命天子。

Bakari Yusuf
on the first day that we met we mistakenly bumped into each other and surprisingly we said SORRY at exactly the same time it was magical 

在我们相遇的第一天，我们不小心撞到了对方，令人惊讶的是，我们同时向对方说了对不起，这很神奇。

Paul Johansen 
In truth it was for the wrong reasons. I had only met her a couple of weeks earlier. She was 16 and still at high school and another girl I knew as a friend introduced her to me at the flat were I was living. My initial reaction was fairly neutral but I was single and unattached so I decided to see where it would lead. She was slender had long black hair and wore lose baggy clothes and seemed very quiet and reserved and I felt no immediate rush of attraction, however I could never have known what lay ahead. Things were about to change in a big way!

事实上，一切都是阴差阳错。我在几个星期前才认识她。她当时16岁，还在上高中，我认识的另一个女孩在我住的公寓里把她介绍给了我。我第一眼没啥强烈的感觉，我是单身，所以我决定看看后续会怎么发展。她身材苗条，留着长长的黑发，穿着松松垮垮的衣服，看上去非常安静和矜持，我没有立刻感到有什么吸引力，然而我永远不知道等待我的是什么。事情即将发生重大变化！

I had driven my dilapidated 15 year old Austin A40 car to her home address after being invited by her to do so and when I drove onto the turnaround outside her home she walked outside to meet me wearing one of her fathers white shirts. She sauntered up to the car and out of curiosity I opened the door said hi Bron and asked her what she had on under the shirt to which she replied, a swimsuit. Intrigued by this response, I managed to persuade her to rather reluctantly show me, so she obligingly unbuttoned the shirt and revealed her red bikini and the divine figure that it contained. I was literally stunned speechless and I had to catch my breath. I couldn’t believe my eyes, her figure was absolutly amazing. She had perfect olive skin’ heavenly curves and looked like a centerfold. My initial reaction was, what the Hell could this Goddess possibly see in me? I don’t even think she knew what she had going for her. There was no exhibitionsm or ego involved here, only shyness and modesty and she seemed embarrassed. My mind was racing as I attempted to comprehend the vision of loveliness that I had just been confronted with, as well as 
coping with the fires of passion that had just been ignited within me, hopefully never to be extinguished! At that very moment I remember thinking, if I can, I’m going to hang on to this girl if it’s the last thing I do and never let her go and although I didnt really fancy my chances, I think I did a pretty good job of concealing my initial reactions and limited my comments to, “Hmm very nice”. I did have the slight advantage of being a bit older than her. I was also employed as an electronics technician and I did own a car of sorts that I very quickly dumped and replaced with a considerably more up market Ford Mk11 Zephyr, so perhaps coming from an all girls school she may have thought I wasn’t such a bad catch. That was two offspring and 54 years ago and my feelings for her have never faded and in fact are stronger now than ever but for a completely different set of reasons.

受她邀请，我开着我那辆破旧的15年的奥斯汀 A40轿车去她家。当我开到她家外面的转弯处时，她穿着她父亲的一件白衬衫走出来迎接我。她漫步走向车子，出于好奇，我打开车门，说了声嗨，问她衬衫下面穿了什么，她回答说，泳衣。我对她的回答很感兴趣，设法说服她让她给我看看，于是她亲切地解开了衬衫的扣子，露出了她的红色比基尼和它所包含的神圣身材。我简直惊呆了，说不出话来，不得不屏住呼吸。我简直不敢相信自己的眼睛，她的身材绝对是惊人的。她拥有完美的橄榄色皮肤和天使般的曲线，看起来就像杂志插页上的女郎。我的第一反应是，这个女神到底看上我什么了？我甚至不认为她知道自己有这么火辣的身材。她没有自我显摆，只有羞怯和谦虚，她看起来很尴尬。当我试图去消化我刚刚看到的可爱景象时，我的思绪飞快地跳动着，同时我也在应对刚刚在我心中燃起的激情之火，希望永远不要熄灭！就在那一刻，如果可以的话，我会紧紧抓住这个女孩，永远不会让她离开，尽管我并不真的认为我有机会。我认为我隐藏了我最初的反应，我的回答仅限于“嗯，真的很漂亮”。我的确有一点优势，就是比她稍微大一点。我还被雇佣为电子技术员，我确实拥有一辆的车，但我很快就把它扔掉，换成了一辆更高档的福特 Mk11 Zephyr。也许因为我来自一所女子学校，她可能会认为我不是一个坏人。那是54年前的两个孩子，我对她的感情从未消退，事实上现在比以往任何时候都要强烈，但原因却完全不同。

Everyone of us gets old eventually. Physical beauty when it’s all said and done is only skin deep and rather superficial irespective of the power of hormone driven first impressions. Over the years she’s given me more love, rock solid loyalty and support than I could have ever dreamed of or felt I deserved. I didn't own much of value when I first met her and 10 years later I still wasn’t that much better off. What followed however, after I'd gone into business, was a story of sheer stubbornness and grim determination on my part, to claw my way over the next 50 years to financial self sufficiency working in a small business at the wrong end of the 
NZ music industry. We had to endure no less than five major changes in government legislation that forced us to our knee's and having to start again each time. The first disarster saw major changes to NZ’s tariff and import duty regulations that completely destroyed our electronic manufacturing operation almost overnight. No one wanted NZ made sound gear anymore, it didn’t matter how good it was.

我们每个人最终都会变老。说到底，外表的美丽只不过是肤浅的，是荷尔蒙驱动的产生第一好印象的力量。这些年来，她给予我的爱、坚如磐石的忠诚和支持超出了我的想象，也超出了我的福分。当我第一次见到她的时候，我并没有多少财富，10年后我依然没有变得更好。然而，在我进入音乐行业之后，接下来发生的是一个关于我的顽固和坚定决心的故事，在接下来的50年里，我站在新西兰音乐行业错误的一端，在一个小型企业里艰难地挣扎，以达到经济上的自给自足。我们不得不忍受至少五项政府立法的重大变化，这些变化迫使我们每次都不得不重新开始。在第一次讨论中，我们看到了新西兰关税和进口关税法规的重大变化，这些变化几乎在一夜之间彻底摧毁了我们的电子制造业务。没有人再想要 NZ 制造的音响设备了，不管它有多好。

From then onwards nothing was sacred and knock out blows from the government were happening to us at the stroke of a pen every few years. I kept having to learn new processes while hampered by an undiagnosed learning difficulty I was born with. Following the first instance of trying to start a manufacturing company with almost ero working capital in 1974, we were hit with four more major legislative changes that made life almost impossible for us. 

从那时起，没有什么是神圣的，每隔几年，我们就会遭到来自政府的猛烈抨击。我一直不得不学习新的过程，但我生俱来的学习困难症阻碍着我学习。1974年，我们第一次尝试在几乎没有营运资金的情况下创办一家制造业公司，随后又遭遇了四次重大的立法变革，这些变革使我们几乎破产。

I never once heard my wife complain about our life of hard graft, instead she took it all in her stride and together we just battled on regardless against the ridiculous odds which included getting pushed out twice by staff I trusted. I could write a book about the trials and tribulations we faced together and looking back in hindsight it’s hard to believe we never went broke, not just once but several times. I learned that your not dead until you lie down. Now, apart from a small company loan, we own two valuable properties freehold and we don’t owe any money at all to anyone. We have a big house, more cars than we need and don’t want for very much in the material sense.

我从来没有听到我妻子抱怨过我们艰苦的生活，相反，她从容地接受了一切，我们一起战斗，面对重重困难，包括两次被我信任的员工赶出去。我可以写一本关于我们共同面对的考验和磨难的书，然后回过头来看，很难相信我们从来没有破产过。我明白了如果你不主动投降，你是不会失败的。现在，除了一个小公司贷款，我们拥有两个有价值的不动产，我们不欠任何人任何钱。我们有一个大房子，有比我们实际需求更多数量的车，而且在物质意义上我们并不需要太多。

We have a daughter with a science degree and a Phd in Mycology who is presently running a government sponsored project to try and beat Myrtle Rust.

我们有一个女儿，她拥有科学学位和真菌学博士学位，目前正在运行一个政府资助的项目，试图打败 Myrtle Rust。

I would be the first to admit I would have had no chance of achieving these things if it had not been for my wonderful wifes love and support. The fact that she was always there when I needed her help and the hard work she put in over all those years of struggle made it possible, there’s no doubt about that.

我会第一个承认，如果没有我出色的妻子的爱和支持，我不可能实现这些目标。事实上，当我需要她的帮助时，她总是在我身边，多年来她付出的努力使这一切成为可能，这是毫无疑问的。

Unbelievably we have yet another rather interesting challenge to overcome. We both want to do different things in retirement and we have spent several years trying to find an agreeable consensus. How many people bother to ask their partners before they commit to them, what do you want to do in your retirement? That was the last thing on my mind. Funny that! One of us is going too have too make some fairly seriuos compromises.

令人难以置信的是，我们还有另一个有趣的挑战需要克服。我们都想在退休后做不同的事情，我们花了几年的时间试图找到一个令人满意的共识。有多少人在对伴侣做出承诺之前不厌其烦地问他们，你退休后想做什么？事后发现你伴侣想做的事情恰好是你最不想做的事情。真有意思！我们中的一个也要做出一些相当严肃的妥协。

Bill Chen 
I’ll tell two stories. My wife hates it when I tell the stories, but she’s not on Quora. So, what she doesn’t know… lol.

我要讲两个故事。我妻子讨厌我讲故事，但她不在 Quora 上。所以，她不会知道的... 哈哈。

First one was just when we started dating. Her first birthday while we are together. I go with a mutual friend who is female to the mall. We scour the whole mall looking for a decent present. My friend and I decide to go with a purse from the Coach store. I bring it to my girlfriend and present it to her. She tells me “return the purse and get me a vacuum cleaner.” huh? I tell her, she can have the purse and a vacuum cleaner. What does she want? Again, my girlfriend says return the purse and get me a vacuum cleaner. So, I do as I’m told. After her birthday, I ask “Why not take the purse and pick a vacuum cleaner?” The response? Well, the coach purse was ugly and my vacuum cleaner just broke and I just needed a new one.

第一次是我们刚开始约会的时候。那是我们在一起后她的第一个生日。我和一个我们共同的女性朋友一起去购物中心。我们在整个商场里到处找像样的礼物。我和我的朋友决定从 Coach 商店买一个钱包当礼物送给我的女朋友。当我把钱包送给她的时候，她告诉我“把钱包退回去，送我一个吸尘器把。”什么？我告诉她，钱包和吸尘器都可以送她。我女朋友坚定的说把钱包退回去，再给我买一个吸尘器。所以，我只能照她说的去做。在她过完生日后，我问她: “为什么不拿着这个钱包去买个吸尘器呢?”你知道她说什么吗？她说Coach的钱包很难看，恰巧我的吸尘器刚刚坏了，我只是需要一个新的。

Second story was when she first moved to California to follow me here. I don’t think we were quite married yet. We go out and meet people. After a while, I notice this little thing where she tells people we live in Santa Monica when first meeting them. Now, we were living in Brentwood at the time. For anyone who didn’t sit through the OJ Simpson craziness and trial, Brentwood is one of the nicer areas of Los Angeles. After listening to her tell people we live in Santa Monica enough times, I finally ask her why she’s telling people the wrong place. She sheepishly says to me, “because I don’t want people to think we are shi shi poo poo people.” My response to her is that if you don’t want people to think you are stuck up, you tell them you live in South Central LA… not Santa Monica. Afterwards, she started telling people we lived in West Los Angeles.

第二个故事是她第一次跟着我搬到加利福尼亚。我记得当时我们还没有结婚。我们出去认识一些人。过了一会儿，我注意到她第一次见到人们时告诉他们我们住在圣塔莫尼卡。然而当时我们住在布伦特伍德。对于那些没有经历过辛普森疯狂审判的人来说，布伦特伍德是洛杉矶比较好的地区之一。在听了她无数次告诉人们我们住在圣莫尼卡之后，我终于问她为什么要告诉人们错误的地点。她羞怯地对我说，“因为我不想让人们认为我们是什么狗屎人。”我对她的回应是，如果你不想让别人觉得你傲慢，你就告诉他们你住在洛杉矶中南部，而不是圣塔莫尼卡。后来，她开始告诉别人我们住在西洛杉矶。

We have been married for almost over a decade now and through good and bad times, she’s been rock solid. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she’s gorgeous and somehow puts up with me. I’m really lucky.

我们已经结婚十多年了，经历了好时光和坏时光，她一直坚如磐石。当然，她很漂亮，而且能够容忍我。我真的很幸运。

Oh… and her birthday is coming up. Bought her a vacuum for the birthday (and a few other things). Of course, it the vacuum cleaner was an expensive dyson. My idea… She’s happy with a simple, practical birthday gift even after all these years.

她的生日快到了。为她买了一个吸尘器当做生日礼物(还有其他一些东西)。当然，真空吸尘器是戴森的，价格很昂贵。我的想法... 即使过了这么多年，她还是很喜欢一个简单实用的生日礼物。