你见过的最有妄想症的人是谁？

ImCaffeinated_Chris
A REALLY rich woman who never worked a day in her life. Married for $$. This was said by her not jokingly. She never joked. As we are driving thru the city...

一个非常富有的女人，从未工作过一天。她亲口说结婚只是为了钱，不是开玩笑。她从不开玩笑，当我们开车穿过城市时..她说。

"The problem with the homeless is they just don''t know how to budget."

“无家可归者的问题在于，他们不知道如何做预算。”

Her purse was probably worth more money than the homeless see in a year. She was completely disconnected from reality and living in her own little mega rich world.

她的钱包可能比那些无家可归的人一年挣的钱还要多。她完全脱离了现实，生活在她自己的小巨富世界里。

quarantinethoughts
My white friend once said out of nowhere, “Black people have all those problems because they just don’t do anything to help themselves.”

我的白人朋友有一次突然说: “黑人之所以有这些问题，是因为他们没有任何上进心。”

FrogginBullfish_ 
I once met someone who was convinced that he was a werewolf. I thought he was kidding until he started hardcore trying to get me to agree that he was a werewolf. Years later I ran into him and he was going on about how good weed smells like flowers.

我曾经遇到过一个人，他坚信自己是个狼人。我以为他是在开玩笑，直到他开始硬要我承认他是个狼人。几年后，我偶然遇到他，他一直在说大麻闻起来像花一样香。

Edit: That''s actually tied with someone I met who thought he was "a psychic vampire" who could also control animals to some degree.

编辑: 这实际上与我认识的一个人有关，他认为自己是“通灵的吸血鬼” ，在某种程度上还能控制动物。

WizardStan 
I knew a guy who was convinced he was a dragon. "I''ve got scales and everything, see?!" Dude, that''s eczema, GO TO A DOCTOR!

我认识一个人，他坚信自己是一条龙。 “我有鳞片，你看到了吗? ! ” 伙计，那是湿疹，去看医生吧！

Barnfire 
I, also, can control animals to some degree! My dog, for example, will sit, lay down, and give me her paw whenever I ask her to

我也能在一定程度上控制动物！ 例如，我的狗会坐下，躺下，每当我要求它伸出爪子时，它就会伸出爪子

but I get what you''re saying. I was just having fun with how you worded it. :)

但我明白你想说什么，我只是觉得你的措辞很有意思

AngelFox1
Umm this guy I dated who claimed he was a vampire. I woke up one morning to him pulling my tampon out with his teeth and chewing on it.

嗯，我之前约会的那个家伙声称自己是吸血鬼。一天早上我醒来，发现他用牙齿把我的卫生棉条拔了出来，嘴里还嚼着。

He was out the door once I finished puking

把我都恶心吐了，等我吐完，他就出门了

Tesla__Coil 
I bet you could have some fun by introducing the vampire and the werewolf to each other.

你可以把声称自己是吸血鬼和狼人的两个人介绍认识一下，肯定会很有趣。

TheFriendlyDrunks 
He turned into a Weedwolf

然后他就变成了一只野狼

throwawaytrumper
I mean, people do call the buds “flower” sometimes, and I’ve smelled weed that smelled like citrus, or pine, or really skunky. None yet that smell like roses, but I wouldn’t be shocked.

我的意思是，有时候人们确实把花蕾叫做“花朵” ，而且我闻到过杂草的味道，闻起来像柑橘，松树，或者是臭鼬。没有一个闻起来像玫瑰，但你能闻出来，我也不会感到震惊。

joan_wilder 
was he a waswolf or a werewolf? big difference.

他到底是狼还是狼人? 两个差别很大。

slapdashbr 
Years later I ran into him and he was going on about how good weed smells like flowers.

几年后，我偶然遇到他，他一直在说大麻闻起来像花一样香。

I mean that seems like a perfectly normal comment

我的意思是，这似乎是一个完全正常的评论

I like the flowery/citrusy smelling weed

我喜欢闻野草的花香

Kloc34
Well it’s because he IS a werewolf ! Damnit why don’t you agree ? Sincerely, a werewolf

那是因为他是个狼人! 该死的，你为什么就不能同意他就是一个狼人呢?

thisbilIgates
One of my friends had rich parents. She thought everything cost waaay more than it did. She forgot a lunch and so I shared some of mine. She “paid me back” $20 the next day for like a banana and half a sandwich. This happened several times until I just started bringing two lunches. She paid me $30 a meal for months.

我的一个朋友的父母很有钱。她认为每样东西定价都太低了。有一次她忘了吃午饭，所以我把我的午饭分享了一点给她。第二天，她为了一根香蕉和半个三明治“还了我”20美元。 这种情况发生了好几次，直到我开始带两份午餐，其中一份午餐给她。她连续几个月每顿饭都付给我30美元。

Then her parents found out. Instead of being upset, they asked me to do the same for her younger brother. I made more money those two years in high-school than I do at my full time job now.

然后她的父母发现了。他们没有生气，而是让我为她的弟弟也带一份午餐。我在高中那两年挣的钱比我现在全职工作挣的钱还多。

anonymous6494 
I mean it''s one banana Michael. What could it cost, $10?

我是说就一根香蕉，迈克尔，能值多少钱，10美元？

Astyyria 
My boyfriend’s parents are fairly well off. They almost exclusively eat take out or fast food. Because of this, my boyfriend always assumed that groceries were super expensive and cost way more than take out. I actually had to make a chart to break down the cost of groceries and have the aid of several friends to convince him that groceries were cheaper. He just couldn’t comprehend that spending $10-$20 per person on one meal was somehow more expensive than a weeks worth of groceries. He eventually got it thankfully.

我男朋友的父母相当富裕。他们几乎只吃外卖和快餐。正因为如此，我的男朋友总是认为食品杂货买的东西超级贵，而且比外卖贵得多。最后，我不得不制作一个图表来分析食品杂货的成本，并且得到几个朋友的帮助来说服他食品杂货更便宜。 他只是不能理解每人平均一顿饭上花费10-20美元竟然比在杂货店买一个星期的食物还要贵。 谢天谢地，他终于明白了。

yankonapc
That is really bizarre. What did your parents think about you making and bringing 3 lunches to school every day? Presumably you bought your own ingredients, or gave some of your profits to your mum?

这真是太奇怪了。你的父母是怎么看待你每天要做三顿午餐带到学校的？你是自己偷偷买了配料，还是把利润分给了一点给你妈妈？

babautz
Maybe its a language barrier thing, but that wouldnt be what I call delusional. Detached maybe, but when they are rich, $5 or $20 is a completely negible difference to them. And at least they felt the need to pay you back, displaying some amount of decency?

也许这是一种语言障碍，但这不是我所说的妄想症。当他们富有的时候，5美元或者20美元对他们来说没什么区别。至少他们觉得有必要回报你，所以表现的体面一些？

Delusional - for me - would be "give us your food, because we are richer and better than you and deserve to be treated as gods."

对我来说，妄想症就是“把你的食物给我们，因为我们比你更富有，更优秀，值得被当作神来对待。”

joe_thermostat_darcy Joe darcy 
Oh my god thats amazing

哦，我的上帝，太神奇了

LightCannon
Plot twist: What if she and her family knew your friend was rather poor and paid in excess purely to help them out? ^^

剧情发转: 有没有可能她和她的家人知道你的朋友相当贫穷，故意支付这么多，就是为了帮助他们？ ^^

deadcalf 
This guy that a friend of mine tried bringing into the group. He always had to be right. You could be showing him hard evidence of something but he would say "I don''t trust ____". Basically everything was an argument. Finally my friend realized they sucked and I haven''t had to deal with him

我曾经想拉我一个朋友进朋友圈。我这个朋友总感觉自己是对的。尽管给他看一些确凿的证据，他都会说“我不相信”。所以每次谈话都是一场争论，纯属杠精。最后我的朋友认为他们糟透了，我也不用再和他打交道了

OnetimeRocket13 13
Reminds me of flat earthers when you try to show them proof that the earth is round. “Is that from NASA? I don’t believe anything that NASA says.”

让我想起了地球是平面的看法，当你试图向他们证明地球是圆的时候。 他们会说“这是美国国家航空航天局发来的吗？ 我不相信美国宇航局的任何说法。”

Tall_Mickey 
I knew an old gentleman who believed everything he read. Everything. Of course he didn''t read indiscriminately -- he had a world view -- but if you called him on something (an idea he''d gotten from his reading) he''d erupt in anger and say "BUT IT''S IN THE BOOK!"

我认识一位老先生，他相信他所读到的一切。当然，他不是乱读书——他有一个特殊的世界观——但是如果你问他一些事情(他从阅读中得到的一个想法) ，他会很愤怒并说: “但是书上写着呢! ”

onthelevel54e
Yup. Trump gets caught in another lie. FAKE NEWS!

是的，特朗普又被揭穿了一个谎言。假新闻！

Letsnotdocorn101
My brother believes that he should never have a GF because they always get old and only wants to be with teenagers. He is almost 40.

我哥哥认为他不应该有女朋友，因为认为女朋友终归会变老，他只想和年轻的女人在一起。他现在快40岁了。

CinnamonSugarCream 
That is... unsettling.

这真是... 令人不安。

komnenos 
At least he sounds self aware of his situation. Has he ever had a love life?

至少他听起来对自己的处境有自知之明。他之前谈过恋爱吗？

[dexed] 
More than 1 child 

不止一个孩子

Littlebitch0029 
Man, I never want a gf because that''s social interaction and I don''t support that, but like damn he''s seriously messed up.

伙计，我从来不想交女朋友，因为需要社会交往，我不支持那样。但该死的，他的想法真的是一团糟。

DukeMaximum 
Yeah, that''s something other than delusional. Something worse.

是啊，这可不是妄想，而是更糟的想法。

Wackydetective 
I''m a receptionist at a community center so I meet a lot of characters. My very first day, I met a lady (trans, this is important.) She zones in on me, she starts telling me that she is the empress of the world. She is worth trillions of dollars. She has 241 children who live in another dimension. 

我是一个社区中心的接待员，所以我能遇到各种各样的人。第一天，我遇到了一位女士(变性者，这很重要)。她开始告诉我她是世界的女王。她身价数万亿美元，有241个孩子生活在另一个维度。

She is waiting on a male celebrity singer to come and get her. She was once shot in the middle of her eyes in an apparent execution attempt on male singer. I stood there in shock. Over time, I start realizing that she is incredibly well versed in history. 

她正在等一位男明星歌手来接她。她有一次被抢射中了眼睛中间，显然是那位男歌手想杀死他。我震惊地站在那里听她讲这些事情。但随着时间的推移，我开始意识到她对历史有着难以置信的了解。

If life had been kinder, she could have been a history professor. I actually begin to enjoy our conversations. Then she starts calling me on my extension. Tells me to quit my job, work for her. I would stand to make a million dollars a week. Then she says, she is actually my Mother and I am a Princess. 

如果生活更和善一些，她本可以成为一名历史教授。我开始享受我们之间的谈话了。然后她开始打我的注意，劝我辞职为她工作。还说我每周可以赚一百万美元。然后她说，她实际上是我的母亲，我是一个公主。

Then I start realizing she is incredibly homophobic and very racist. As she told me out of nowhere I might add, that I could not date black men. She is escorted out but this does not deter her. Then quarantine came into effect. I am told she shows up and calls looking for me. Convinced I have the rona and she needs to protect me.

然后我开始意识到她非常憎恨同性恋，而且非常种族主义。正如她莫名其妙地告诉我的那样，我不能和黑人约会。最后她被保安请了出去，但这并没有阻止她。随后，各州开始执行隔离措施。有人告诉我她曾打电话找我，说我有新冠病毒，她需要保护我。

joan_wilder 
reminds me of a time i went to the doctor’s office, and as i’m sitting in the waiting room, the doctor, who’s black, comes out and introduces herself to another patient, a 50-something white lady, somehow immediately starts informing the doctor about how white people were also slaves (she was referring to indentured servitude, which is not slavery, btw). the doctor just played it off, but that was definitely one of those moments where you see how exhausting it must be to be black in america.

这让我想起有一次我去医生的办公室，当我坐在候诊室的时候，一个黑人医生走出来，向另一个50多岁的白人女士病人介绍自己。毫无征兆，她对开始医生说，白人也是奴隶(顺便说一句，她指的是契约奴役，不是奴隶制)。 医生不得不陪她演戏，从这你可以看到，美国黑人生活的是有多累了。

DarkStarletlol 
My ex MIL...

我的前女友。

She literally once said, "Being gay is a choice, you know, like being Black."

她真的曾经说过，“成为同性恋是一种选择，你知道，就像成为黑人一样。”

She didn''t believe black people were real, and thought that they were just white people who tanned to much.

她不相信黑人是真实存在的，认为他们只是晒得太黑的白人。

She''s incredibly racist and homophobic.

她是个极端的种族主义者和恐同者。

It took us ages to convince her that Black people do actually exist.

我们花了很长时间才让她相信黑人确实存在。

Unfortunately she now believes they are not just a different race but a different species...

不幸的是，她现在相信他们不仅仅是一个不同的种族，还是一个不同的物种。

So glad I got away from that family.

真高兴我离开了那个家庭。

sojojo142
what the fuck man

搞什么鬼

[dexed] 
I''m gay and black and mad and bewildered...

我就是一名同性恋，还是黑人。我感觉这很疯狂，也很困惑..。

And now that I think about it, sad. That almost sounds like a cognitive disability. I don''t think you can be mentally sound and that dumb. The gay thing, okay, but even most hardcore racists can''t deny that black people aren''t a different species and they definitely don''t think being black is a choice.

现在回想起来，我很难过。这听起来几乎像是一种认知障碍。我不认为你的精神是健全。对同性恋的歧视，感觉也说的过去。但是针对黑人的看法，真的不敢苟同，即使是最铁杆的种族主义者也不能否认黑人是不同的物种，他们绝对不认为黑人是一种选择。

Did she have any other interesting opinions?

她还有其他有趣的意见吗？

meesersloth
I had to re-read that multiple times.

我不得不重读了很多遍。

beergaggles 
Sorry to be a dick .. but how did you get involved with someone like this?

对不起这么说. . 但你是怎么和这样的人扯上关系的？

NotaRomanEmperor
Just trying to make sense of this. Did you she live in a very (ethnically) isolated place? How often did she encounter other races?

我只是想弄明白。 她住在一个非常偏僻的地方吗？ 她多久会遇到其他种族的人？

100_Donuts 
Myself, obviously. I thought I had been working on this fantastic, great, new American novel, but I guess I''ve just been drinking.

当然是我自己。我以为我一直在写一部奇妙的，伟大的，新的美国小说。但是我想我只是喝醉了。

TheBoysSouls 
One of my wife''s best friends from childhood got pregnant their senior year of college in 2013 (I''ll call her Jane). Jane lived with her boyfriend after the baby was born; they did both have jobs, but were living in a dicey area, on government assistance, receiving food stamps, etc.--no judgment, just painting a picture.

我妻子儿时最好的朋友在2013年大四的时候怀孕了(我叫她简)。 孩子出生后，简和她的男朋友住在一起; 他们都有工作，但是生活在一个危险的地区，依靠政府援助，领取食品券等等度日子---- 没有歧视，只是说一下背景情况。

About a year after baby was born (2014), Jane breaks up with her boyfriend and immediately moves back in with her parents. She has continued to live there (rent-free) for the past 5-6 years.

孩子出生大约一年后(2014年) ，简与男友分手，立即搬回父母家。在过去的5-6年里，她一直免费住在那里。

Last year, Jane''s younger sister unexpectedly got pregnant, at almost the exact same age Jane was 7 years ago--and Jane freaked out. Between social media posts and actual conversations I''ve heard, it''s a constant barrage of: "What kind of person gets pregnant when they aren''t mature enough to be a parent?!" "How are you going to afford this baby?!" "My sister is TERRIBLE with money, and she can''t live with us forever!" Etc.

去年，简的妹妹出人意料地怀孕了，她妹妹的年龄几乎和7年前简怀孕时年纪一样---- 简吓坏了。通过看一些在社交媒体上的帖子和我和她实际对话，她经常会问这样的问题: “什么样的人会在不成熟到足以为人父母的时候怀孕? ” “你怎么养得起这个孩子? ! ” “我妹妹很不会理财，她不可能永远和我们住在一起! ” 等等。

I should also note that Jane considers herself a "#bossbabe" (and therefore more mature than her sister, I guess) largely because of her participation in a multi-level marketing scheme that has earned her no money--but she posts almost daily on social media about her busy life as a "small business owner."

我还注意到，简认为自己是一个“ #老板”(因此我猜她比她妹妹更成熟) ，这主要是因为她参加了一个多层次传销计划，也没有赚到钱——但她几乎每天都在社交媒体上发布自己作为一个“小企业主”的繁忙生活

TL;DR--Unwed mother with little to no professional skills berates sister for being exactly like her, is blissfully unaware of the irony.

一个几乎没有任何专业技能未婚妈妈，责骂妹妹和她一模一样，自以为活的很幸福，更本没有意识到讽刺的意味。