在中国或这一代中国人中，打孩子是否仍然被视为一种合理的管教方式？

sleepycat_0107
Common when I was growing up, I’m gen Z

在我成长过程中很常见，我是 Z 世代

Pretend_Ostrich_4383
It all comes down to why you hit a child and how severely you do so. This is not a black-and-white matter, but one that falls into the gray area.

这完全取决于你打孩子的原因以及你打孩子的严重程度。这不是一个非黑即白的问题，而是一个处于灰色地带的问题。

Can you abuse a child just because you are in a bad mood? Absolutely not. It is illegal. Neither the authorities nor the vast majority of the public will tolerate this.

你能仅仅因为心情不好就虐待孩子吗？绝对不能。这是违法的。无论是当局还是绝大多数公众都不会容忍这种行为。

However, if it is a disciplinary lesson delivered as a last resort when a child has acted recklessly and caused serious trouble—for instance, starting a wildfire—then a lesson to make it stick will help maintain social order. Neither the authorities nor the vast majority of the public would deem it excessive.

然而，如果是在孩子行为鲁莽并引发严重麻烦时——例如引发山火——作为最后手段进行的惩戒性教训，那么一次令人印象深刻的教训将有助于维护社会秩序。无论是当局还是绝大多数公众都不会认为这过分。

Forward_Young2874
Starting a wildfire? That escalated quickly.

引发山火？这升级真快。

takeya40
Not Chinese. Had a friend start a wildfire pre-high school. Unsure of his discipline situation at the time. He had the house to himself alot. OD'd before 30.

我不是中国人。我有个朋友在初中前引发了一场山火。不清楚他当时的管教情况。他经常独自在家。不到 30 岁就因吸毒过量去世了。

TheyreACrypytKeeper  
There's few other reasons that would justify hitting a child

几乎没有其他理由能成为打孩子的正当借口

linjun_halida 
Hitting the kids is still justified around the world, not just China.

打孩子在世界各地仍然被认为是合理的，不仅仅是在中国。

Humble-Bar-7869
It is not "justified" anywhere. And it is definitely not socially acceptable in Western countries.

在任何地方这都不是“合理的”。在西方国家，这绝对不被社会所接受。

If a parent or teacher beats a kid in the West, authorities are called.

如果在西方有父母或老师打孩子，当局会被叫来。

Of course it still happens, but it is definitely not in mainstream, decent parenting in any Western country I know of.

当然，这种情况仍然存在，但在我所知的任何西方国家的主流、体面的育儿方式中，这绝对不是主流。

KartFacedThaoDien
Its acceptable in plenty of places in the largest western country. Especially among people who arent white. Obviously abuse isn't tolerated but spanking isn't illegal and still happens. 

在最大的西方国家，许多地方都接受这种做法。尤其是在非白人族群中。显然，虐待是不被容忍的，但打屁股并不违法，并且仍然时有发生。

Icy_Guard_7259
What are you talking? Maybe millenials are different but "die gsunde watschen" (the healthy slap) is a german saying.

你在说什么？也许千禧一代不同，但"die gsunde watschen"（健康耳光）是一句德国谚语。

Humble-Bar-7869
Honey, I am an old-school Chinese Boomer, not some fragile millenial or GenXer.

亲爱的，我是老派的中国婴儿潮一代，不是脆弱的千禧一代或 X 世代。

As for "die gsunde watschen" -In Germany, all forms of corporal punishment against children, including spanking, have been illegal since 2000.

至于"die gsunde watschen"——在德国，自 2000 年起，所有形式的体罚，包括打屁股，都是非法的。

Please don't tell me you're such a pinkie that you will defend 'China' to the point that you're OK with beating kids just because "Chinese do it."

请不要告诉我你是个粉红，以至于你会为“中国”辩护到连打孩子都能接受，仅仅因为“中国人这么做”。

Like the guy above - the girl is 4 years old & has been hit multiple times & will be hit some more. You need to be inhumane to be OK with that.

就像上面那个人说的——那个女孩才 4 岁，已经被打了好几次，而且还会被打更多次。能接受这种事的人，简直是没有人性。

Icy_Guard_7259
Ofc not, i am a millenial that is trying to break some circles. Got beaten as a kid too and it never taught me anything good. I mean, i saw it as achievement to break the wooden spoon with my butt...that's the only good experience. It wasnt my Intention to defend beating children but to point out some double standards. Cause violence should be last resort and not first response.

当然不是，我作为千禧一代正努力打破某些循环。我小时候也挨过打，但这从未教会我任何有益的东西。我的意思是，我曾把木勺打我屁股结果断掉视为一种成就……那是唯一美好的经历。我并非有意为打孩子辩护，而是想指出一些双重标准。因为暴力应该是最后的手段，而非首选反应。

JollyTomatillo3232
Actually this post is a crosspost, in other forums 100% of the responses were against hitting children as discipline. I was just really curious about how things would be in China as some of my Chinese-American friends often share stories of their childhoods

实际上这个帖子是跨平台转发的，在其他论坛上 100%的回复都反对以打孩子作为管教方式。我只是很好奇中国的情况会如何，因为我的一些华裔美国朋友经常分享他们童年的故事。

KillerPolarBear25
I am in the 30s, I don't have kid yet, and I think it's somewhat justified as long as it's doesn't create real harm.

我三十多岁，还没有孩子，我认为只要不造成真正的伤害，体罚在某种程度上是合理的。

KartFacedThaoDien
I'm not Chinese and I live in Guangzhou. But I saw a hanger whooping the other day when a boy who was obviously supposed to be at home (10 PM) was outside playing with his friends. 

我不是中国人，住在广州。但前几天晚上十点，我看到一个本该在家的男孩在外面和朋友玩，他的家长用衣架打了他。

His mom looked like she was maybe 31 / 32. I haven't seen rage like that since I was a kid. It wasnt overkill or anything she just spanked him on the butt 4 / 5 times while he ran away. Obviously doesnt fall into abuse. It's honestly something you'd still see in many parts of America.

他妈妈看起来大概 31、32 岁。我从小就没见过那么大的火气。她并没有过度惩罚，只是在他逃跑时打了四五下屁股。显然这算不上虐待。说实话，在美国很多地方你依然能看到这种情况。

Equacrafter
Good ole memories, getting whipped by my parents with a metal hanger when I did something very bad lol

美好的旧日回忆，当我做了非常糟糕的事情时，被父母用金属衣架抽打，哈哈

TheyreACrypytKeeper   
It does always create real harm?! It does psychological damage and harms trust. Fix yourself or don't get children please.

这难道不会造成真正的伤害吗？它会造成心理创伤并破坏信任。请先自我修正，否则请不要要孩子。

KillerPolarBear25
I got hit by my parents when I was a kid when I did something wrong, like everybody else. I have no psychological damage and I trust and love my parents. I grow up to be a decent person, never committed a crime, never went to jail, and not even a smoker. Honestly, I don't see a problem as long as the punishment is with reason.

我小时候做错事时，父母也会打我，就像其他人一样。我没有心理创伤，我信任并爱我的父母。我长大后成为一个体面的人，从未犯罪，从未进过监狱，甚至不吸烟。老实说，只要惩罚有道理，我不觉得有什么问题。

TheyreACrypytKeeper
I know a good number of people who were messed up in the head to various degrees because their parents hit them. I myself got hit once by my father and I would subconsciously expect to be hit again when he made sudden movements near me. I became less honest towards him too, just in case to avoid being hit again as much as possible.

我认识不少人，因为父母打他们而在心理上受到不同程度的伤害。我自己也曾被父亲打过一次，以至于当他突然靠近我时，我会下意识地以为又要挨打。我也变得对他不那么坦诚，只是为了尽可能避免再次被打。

Statistics and psychological experts agree that it's a thing to be avoided. A neutral/positive anecdotal experience doesn't counteract the facts

统计数据和心理学专家一致认为，体罚是应避免的行为。个别的中立或正面经历并不能反驳这一事实。

Aenaen
"no psychological damage" but you think physically attacking children who see you as their whole world is okay...

"没有心理伤害"，但你认为体罚那些视你为全世界的孩子是没问题的……

HBARFOUNDATION  
Survivorship bias is a hell of a drug

幸存者偏差真是害人不浅

bigperm8645
For real. Biggest fight ive been in with my pops was over this. He made it, and I made it, so its ok.

确实如此。我和我爸吵得最凶的一次就是为这事。他挨过打也过来了，我也挨过打也过来了，所以就觉得没问题。

bigperm8645
Dont have kids   

别要孩子

kelontongan 
You  are not realizing…

你还没意识到……

My life : My dad hitted me with belt. (Damn hurts), and put me in the dark room inside the  warehouse next to the house.

我的生活：我爸用皮带抽我（真疼），然后把我关在房子旁边仓库的暗室里。

Yes . I still remember and kind of scared of total dark room. This was the reasoning, I stayed and grown up with my grandma care up to high school.

是的。我至今记得，而且对完全黑暗的房间有点害怕。正因为这个原因，我一直和奶奶生活，在她的照顾下长大，直到高中。

Humble-Bar-7869
I've never hit my kids and never will. And I got angry the one time my parents spanked one of my kids when they were small - and they never did it again.

我从未打过我的孩子，将来也绝不会。有一次我父母在我孩子小时候打了他们屁股，我当时非常生气——之后他们就再也没那样做过了。

THAT SAID, I didn't suffer any psychological damage from having my hand or butt slapped a few times, nor did my brother from being spanked. My parents were "soft," so there was no injury or really pain. It was mostly to shame kids.

话虽如此，我并没有因为手或屁股被打几下而遭受心理创伤，我哥哥也没有因为被打屁股而受到伤害。我的父母比较"温和"，所以没有造成伤害或真正的疼痛。这主要是为了让孩子感到羞愧。

I have a very good and close relationship with my folks, as do my cousins / Chinese friends, who were all hit at some point.

我和父母的关系非常好且亲密，我的表兄弟姐妹/中国朋友也是如此，他们都在某个阶段被打过。

EDIT: I am no way justifying or agreeing with hitting children. Just saying not everyone has life-long trauma.

编辑：我绝不是为打孩子辩护或同意打孩子。只是说不是每个人都有终身的创伤。

RichCommercial104
I've noticed the kids who weren't smacked are actually more violent. They do not fear consequences because time-out or a lecture are so timid.

我注意到那些没被打过的孩子实际上更暴力。他们不害怕后果，因为罚站或说教都太温和了。

RorschachEmpire 
Yes, and to some extend, one should know pain before they start developing empathy. Kid with violence tendecy should learn how hurtful it is on the receiving end (of course, not too much or else it will backfire)

是的，而且在某种程度上，一个人应该在开始培养同理心之前先了解痛苦。有暴力倾向的孩子应该学会承受暴力是多么痛苦（当然，不能过度，否则会适得其反）。

Kids are pure, not innocence. They test boundaries all the time, adults job should be putting the stop signs and cement them in their mind wherever suitable.

孩子是纯粹的，但并非天真无邪。他们总是在试探界限，成年人的职责就是在适当的时候设立界限，并将其牢固地印在他们的脑海中。

PsychologicalSink801
It used to be justified when I was still living in Fujian with my grandparents. But I don't face it anymore after moving back to United States to live with my parents.

在我还和祖父母住在福建时，这种做法被认为是合理的。但自从我搬回美国和父母一起生活后，就不再面临这种情况了。

qianqian096
It is normal but if they beat their child to death of course they will go to jail

打孩子是正常的，但如果把孩子打死，他们当然会进监狱

ucarenya 
No , my parents will kill me if I dare to do what they once did to me to their grandkids...

不，如果我敢对他们孙子孙女做他们曾经对我做的事，我父母会杀了我……

ltlearntl
Are sure you want to know...all I will say is a lot of us end up with PTSD or some other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

你确定想知道吗……我只能说，我们很多人最终都患上了创伤后应激障碍（PTSD）或其他不健康的应对机制。

Unusual-Marzipan5465
Yes, and you are showing your bias by using the world "still". Not everything is going to inevitably change to be the way Western countries want them to be

是的，而且你使用“仍然”这个词就暴露了你的偏见。并非所有事情都必然会按照西方国家希望的方式改变。

Significant_Apple904
for serious stuff like cursing at people, hitting people, hurting animals, breaking stuff out of frustration, etc.

对于诸如咒骂他人、打人、伤害动物、因沮丧而破坏物品等严重行为。

I think it's necessary so as a parent I can easily distinguish common misbehavior vs serious misconduct.

我认为这是必要的，这样作为家长，我可以轻松区分一般的不良行为和严重的错误行为。

I have a 4-year-old daughter in the US (half Chinese, half white), it works well with her because it snaps her out of whatever she is focused on. I only use hitting as an attention grabber/mental resetter, not a means to vent my frustration as a parent like older generations.

我有一个四岁的女儿在美国（一半中国血统，一半白人血统），这种方法对她很有效，因为它能让她从专注的事情中回过神来。我只把打孩子当作吸引注意力或心理重置的手段，而不是像老一辈那样作为家长发泄沮丧情绪的方式。

But still I think it depends. It's not suitable for every kid, every kid is different.

但我仍然认为这取决于具体情况。它并不适合每个孩子，每个孩子都是不同的。

Humble-Bar-7869
Beating your 4-year-old, US-raised daughter for a minor thing like cursing or breaking an obxt is ABUSE. Dear god, it's 2026.

因为说脏话或打碎东西这样的小事就打你四岁、在美国长大的女儿，这是虐待。天哪，现在可是 2026 年了。

Stop hitting your kid. We're not in 1970s China anymore.

别再打你的孩子了。我们已经不是生活在 1970 年代的中国了。

Significant_Apple904
you talk as if only Chinese beat their kids. Americans are not shy of beating their kids.

你说得好像只有中国人打孩子似的。美国人打孩子也毫不手软。

And as I pointed out, I'm not beating for beating's sake, and beating is a strong word, I only do slaps on the butt, as I said, to reset.

正如我指出的，我并非为打而打，且"打"一词过于严重，我只是轻拍臀部，如我所说，是为了重置行为。

Have you lived in the US, and have you seen how many kids/adults that throws unreasonable tantrums? like they would hit people for a minor thing. My goal is not to make my kid obedient, my goal is to correct the behavior, so she doesn't grow up to be an annoying adult that gets beat up by other adults.

你在美国生活过吗？见过多少孩子或成年人会无理取闹吗？比如他们会为一点小事就打人。我的目标不是让孩子顺从，而是纠正行为，这样她长大后才不会成为令人讨厌、被其他成年人教训的成年人。

Humble-Bar-7869
If you must know my bio, I was born in China, grew up in the US / HK, then returned home.

如果你一定要了解我的背景：我出生在中国，在美国和香港（特区）长大，然后回到了家乡。

I never said child beating was *exclusive* to China. I'm answering for this "ask China" sub.

我从未说过打孩子是中国独有的现象。我是在这个"问中国"板块回答问题。

And definitely, hitting kids is not OK in mainstream US society.

在美国主流社会中，打孩子绝对是不可接受的。

Hitting your 4-year-old daughter will not prevent her from "being annoying." All kids are annoying - they're immature by design. You don't sound like you like your child much.

打你四岁的女儿并不能阻止她"惹人烦"。所有孩子都会惹人烦——他们天生就不成熟。听起来你似乎不太喜欢自己的孩子。

Hitting your pre-school child will also not prevent them "being beat up by other adults." But thanks for somehow blaming the victim of future beatings, I guess.

打你的学龄前孩子也无法阻止他们"被其他成年人殴打"。不过，还是要感谢你以某种方式责怪了未来可能遭受殴打的受害者。

Significant_Apple904
you talk as if you see exactly what I'm doing with my kid.

你说得好像亲眼看见我怎么管教孩子似的。

Kids are immature by design, that's why we the parents are there to guide them. I never said just beat your kids and be done with it. I've said multiple times, I use it as a tool not an end. When my kid wants another child's toy and they wouldn't give it to her and she's throwing a full tantrum and fighting another child for it, and she hits me when I pick her up. At that moment, her brain is not available, I need something to bring her back to reality, and a slap on the butt does exactly that, afterwards I talk to her and we come an agreement, and she never does it again. "Beating" is never my first option, but I'm not excluding it.

孩子天生就不成熟，所以才需要父母来引导他们。我从没说过打孩子就完事了。我多次强调，这只是手段而非目的。当我的孩子想要别人的玩具，对方不给，她就大发脾气、跟别的孩子抢，我抱她时她还打我。那一刻她完全失去了理智，我需要用某种方式让她回到现实，打一下屁股正好能起到这个作用，之后我会跟她沟通并达成共识，她就再也不会这样了。"打"从来不是我的首选，但也不会完全排除。

Now in another scenario when I see someone else's child do that, and their parents do nothing about, "let kids be kids" huh? that same kid continues to "terrorize" other kids every single time, and we had to take our kid out of the program because of it.

换一种情况，当我看到别人家的孩子这样做，而他们的父母却无动于衷，美其名曰"让孩子自由成长"？结果那个孩子每次都继续"欺负"其他孩子，我们不得不因此让孩子退出了那个活动。

Debbiekm618
As long as it's just strict parenting instead of abuse, it's absolutely justified. If a child misbehaves in public, people would sometimes still think that the parents aren't hitting the child enough. Parenting in China is gentler among the younger generations, but no where near how soft the west is or wants us to be.

只要只是严格管教而非虐待，就完全合理。如果孩子在公共场合行为不端，人们有时仍会认为父母打得不够。中国的育儿方式在年轻一代中较为温和，但远不及西方那般或希望我们达到的柔软程度。

gkmnky
Guess still normal, but not that serious like in the past.

我猜现在仍然普遍，但不像过去那么严重了。

Previous generations were nearly beaten to death by their mothers … tbh I am still surprised how most of them survived with minor injuries

上一代（有人）差点被母亲打死……说实话，我至今仍惊讶于他们大多数人居然只受了轻伤就活了下来

chiefgmj
actual execution of the act is dependent on the parents, but discipline, including physical ones, r accepted as part of the parenting toll kit.

实际执行取决于父母，但包括体罚在内的管教方式，仍被视为育儿工具箱的一部分。