reddit提问：中国明明男性过剩，怎么还会有这么多剩女呢？

vilkazz
Women don’t necessarily want to marry.

女性不一定都想结婚。

The moniker is just one way of adding social pressure to get women to produce more grandkids for the wannabe grandparents

这个称号只是一种给女性施加社会压力的方式，为了给那些想抱孙子的爷爷奶奶多添几个孙。

slowcanteloupe
Various reasons. Some women prefer prioritizing their career earlier before marriage then find themselves competing against younger models. Various personality issues. Differing preferences between what is local and what they are looking for.

原因多种多样。有些女性更倾向于在婚前优先发展事业，然后发现自己要和更年轻的竞争者比拼。各种性格问题。还有本地条件和她们所期望的生活之间存在的差异偏好。

Even in SF where the ratio of men to women is 3:1 there are still lots of single women.

即便在男女比例 3:1 的旧金山，依然存在大量单身女性。

surfnoob
Nah the ratio isn’t that crazy in sf, it’s like a 5% spread

不，旧金山的男女比例没那么夸张，大概只有 5%左右的差距

Life_Spinach4313
I noticed a bunch of recent Chinese dramas that show middle age women dating younger men. I’ve always wondered if the writers had the intention to normalize it to counter the left-over women phenomenon.

我注意到近期多部国产剧呈现中年女性与年下男恋爱的情节。不禁猜想编剧是否试图通过作品常态化这类关系，以消解"剩女"现象的社会压力。

Sea-Station1621
What are some examples of those dramas?

能举几个这种剧的例子吗？

No-Permit9409
Sniper butterfly which recently came out is an example I think it's a 10 year age gap?

最近播出的《狙击蝴蝶》就算一例，我记得男女主角好像有十岁年龄差？

Sea-Station1621
tencent to Chinese audience: here's your 10 year age gap relationship, enjoy

腾讯对中国观众表示：来看这十岁年龄差的恋爱剧吧，好好享用

I suppose the actors do have an age gap but it's not as obvious on screen

我认为演员们确实存在年龄差距，但在屏幕上并不明显

Philipofish
Maybe because the narratives being pushed out by the west to highlight China's alleged failures are frequently contradictory and silly.

或许是因为西方不断宣扬的那些旨在强调中国所谓失败的故事，常常自相矛盾且显得荒谬。

Another one: China has a 20% youth unemployment rate vs China's one child policy is causing imminent demographic collapse!

再来一例：中国青年失业率达 20% vs 中国独生子女政策正导致迫在眉睫的人口benkui！

Lord_Exarch
It's been like that for ages, get some Shills like Gordon Chang to talk up the coming Collapse.

这种情况早就存在了，找几个像章家敦那样的吹鼓手来炒作即将到来的崩溃论吧。

KartFacedThaoDien
Why would a country collapse if they have a high youth unemployment rate and serious demographic issues from previously having a 1 child policy?

为什么一个国家会因为年轻人高失业率和之前一胎政策导致的严重人口问题而benkui？

Electronic_Trifle613
Because "people" wants it to be collapsed.

因为“某些群体”渴望它崩塌。

KartFacedThaoDien
And? Just because people want something to happen doesnt mean it'll happen. Hell China is about the same age as the US demographically but is poorer on average and doesnt accept mass immigration.

所以呢？仅仅因为人们希望某事发生，并不意味着它会发生。见鬼，中国和美国的人口结构年龄相仿，但平均上更贫穷，并且不接受大规模移民。

So it is possible they may not surpass the US economy. But even then they wouldnt collapse. Even if they fell into a deep recession they wouldnt collapse.

所以他们可能不会超越美国经济。但即便如此，他们也不会崩溃。即使陷入深度衰退，他们也不会崩溃。

assault_potato1
You missed the point.

你没抓住重点。

PuzzleheadedShock850
Because the cost of caring for the elderly in a welfare state is paid for by the taxes of the young, employed population. If the youth is unemployed, they're not paying taxes, if anything they cost the government money, and since there was a one child policy for like 2 generations, there is an even sharper population dropoff than there is in other comparable countries, so there's even less youth taxes covering the swelling cost of health and social care for the older generations.

因为福利国家的养老成本依赖于年轻在职人群缴纳的税款。若年轻人失业，他们不仅无法贡献税收，反而可能消耗政府财政资源。由于中国实施了两代人的独生子女政策，人口结构断层比同类国家更为陡峭，导致支撑日益膨胀的老龄群体医疗与社会保障支出的青年税收基础愈发薄弱。

melenitas
Another one: China has a 20% youth unemployment rate vs China's one child policy is causing imminent demographic collapse!

另一个例子：中国青年失业率达 20%，而中国的独生子女政策正导致人口即将benkui！

Italy has a 20% youth unemployment and a demographic collapse, do you think is contradictory and silly too?
https://www.statista.com/statistics/776931/youth-unemployment-rate-in-italy/
https://en.ilsole24ore.com/art/italy-demographic-collapse-and-salary-reduction-AIdMAlBB

意大利青年失业率为 20%且面临人口崩溃，你觉得这同样矛盾且可笑吗？

jennysonson
Expensive to lay the dowry for men marrying into women too, even on the low end its like 150-300k rmb i think

男性入赘女方同样需要不菲的彩礼，即使是低标准也得花费 15 万至 30 万元人民币。

blacklotusY
Many traditional Chinese families preferred having a boy because, since ancient times, the son was the one who inherited the family name and legacy. A daughter would marry, have children, and those children would take the father’s surname. After she was married, you would not see her as often, especially if she married into another kingdom to maintain stability between the two kingdoms. If you had a boy, he was more likely to become the next emperor because women weren't allowed to become next emperor, with one exception of Wu ZeTian. But that's a different story.

在中国，许多传统家庭更偏好生男孩，因为自古以来，儿子是继承家族姓氏和家业的人。女儿则会出嫁生子，子女随父姓。婚后，娘家便不常能见到她，尤其是那些为了维系两国关系而远嫁他国的公主。若生男孩，他便更有可能继承皇位，因为女性不被允许继位，除了武则天这一特例。但这又是另一番故事了。

This tradition has existed for thousands of years in China. However, it is getting much better now because modern life is very different from the past. I think many older generations, such as our grandparents, may still prefer boys over girls because of how they were raised.

这一传统在中国已延续数千年。然而，现在情况已大有改善，因为现代生活与过去截然不同。我认为许多老一辈人，比如我们的祖父母，可能仍因自身成长环境的影响而更偏爱男孩。

To answer your question about “leftover women,” some men in China choose to marry foreign women instead of local Chinese women because they feel there are high expectations for marriage. These expectations may include a bride price, owning a house and a car, meeting certain height or income standards, having a degree from a top university, financially supporting the wife, and helping support her parents. As a result, some Chinese men feel pressured and prefer to marry foreign women because they believe the relationship will focus more on building a life together without what they see as excessive demands before marriage.

关于您提到的“剩女”问题，中国一些男性选择迎娶外籍女性而非本地中国女性，原因在于他们感受到婚姻中存在的较高期望值。这些期望可能包括彩礼、拥有房产车辆、达到特定身高或收入标准、持有顶尖大学学位、需承担妻子生活开支并赡养其父母。因此，部分中国男性倍感压力，更倾向于选择外籍伴侣，认为这样的关系更能专注于共同生活建设，而非婚前那些被他们视为过度的要求。

To put it simply, imagine marrying a woman that doesn't care about your income, doesn't care if you own a house or a car, doesn't care about your education, and simply marry you just because she wants to build a life together with you. Who wouldn't want to marry someone like that? Whereas the other ones are asking you the opposite of that...

简而言之，试想与这样的女性缔结婚姻：她不介意你的收入水平，不计较你是否拥有房产车辆，不关注你的教育背景，仅仅因为渴望与你共建人生而选择嫁给你。这样的伴侣谁会不愿迎娶呢？而另一种情况则与之截然相反……

Soju-Boss
Similarly, I imagine women would look for foreign partners when local Chinese men don’t meet spec?

同理，当本地的中国男性不符合要求时，女性就会去国外寻找伴侣吗？

blacklotusY
Yes, but I think it's harder because of the language barrier and cultural differences. Parents are more concerned about their daughter moving abroad, because they have no way of helping them if something happen. This is where you'll see story of women marrying to a foreigner, moving abroad, and then some of them disappear and never found again.

是的，但我觉得会难得多，因为语言障碍和文化差异。父母更担心自己的女儿搬到国外生活，因为如果出了事，他们无法提供帮助。这就是为什么你会看到一些女性嫁给外国人、搬到国外，然后其中一些人就此消失，再也找不到的故事。

I remember seeing news about this Chinese woman that got her PhD. She moved to Germany and even had a kid with her husband. Then her husband killed her and the baby. You can look it up if you don't believe me. These stories are horrifying to me, though.

我记得看到过关于一位中国女博士的新闻。她搬到德国，还和丈夫生了孩子。后来丈夫杀害了她和孩子。不信的话你可以查一下。不过，这些故事对我来说真的很恐怖。

tentacle_
everywhere is the same. crazy women and crazy men.

全球各地都如出一辙。有疯狂的女性，也有疯狂的男性。

External_Tomato_2880
Left over woman in the cities, left over man in the countryside. The woman only want to marry up so those leftover men in countryside are not up to their standard.

城市剩女多，乡村剩男多。女性只愿嫁条件更优者，因此乡村剩男难以达到她们的标准。

FlashyHeight9323
Kinda hard when the men are t willing to to do the things women did in back in the day to get by.

当男性不愿意做女性过去为了生活而做的事情时，这个问题就很难解决。

Evabluemishima
They are literally broke peasant farmers.

他们简直是一贫如洗的农民。

pogodachudesnaya
What things?

什么事？

HungrySecurity
This is very accurate. In my rural hometown, there are almost no single women, but plenty of men who can’t find a wife. Meanwhile, in the Tier-2 city where I live, there are many 'leftover' women, while the single men are mostly unmarried by choice. While the 6th census showed a balanced gender ratio for marriageable ages, the 7th census showed some shifts. However, the real issue isn't the total numbers, it’s the geographic imbalance.

确实很准确。在我的农村老家，几乎没有单身女性，却有很多男性找不到老婆。而在我现在生活的二线城市，有很多“剩女”，而单身男性大多是自己选择不结婚。虽然第六次人口普查显示适婚年龄段的性别比例是平衡的，但第七次人口普查显示情况有所变化。然而，真正的问题不是总数量，而是地域分布的不平衡。

mozambique22
Yes, this is especially true when you look at post-secondary education. Men are more willing to marry someone with a lesser educational background than women. Combined with how ~52% of students in Chinese universities are women, it leads to an abundance of educated unmarried women in cities.

没错，尤其是在考虑高等教育背景时更明显。男性比女性更愿意与教育水平较低的人结婚。加上中国大学中约 52%的学生是女性，这就导致城市里有大量受过教育却未婚的女性。

LessComputer7927
To be fair not necessarily marry up, just marry equal. It would be hard for any born and bred, well-educated, career-proficient city dweller in any country to marry a peasant farmer and adapt to that lifestyle

公平地说，不一定非要高攀，只求门当户对。无论在哪个国家，一个土生土长、受过良好教育、事业有成的城市居民都很难与一位农民结婚并适应那种生活方式。

Ok-Relative-9426
After having lived in China for 4 decades, I have encountered so many different families who have one child because that’s all they wanted - usually those who live in the cities. And others who had four children and yes, one family from the countryside that had five… the last being a boy. The so called one child policy as it is commonly coined, could be interpreted as not equally enforced across a country that is larger than the USA. And of course there is Tibet.

在中国生活四十年来，我见过形形色色的家庭：许多城市家庭只生育一个孩子纯粹是自主选择；也有生育四个子女的家庭；更曾遇见一户农村家庭连续生育五个孩子——最后一个是男孩。所谓“独生子女政策”在这片幅员超越美国的国土上，其执行力度本就存在地域差异。西藏地区的情况则更为特殊。

achangb
The women do want to marry but they dont want to marry the men that are available....remember they want to marry upwards, not down. For example a guy that graduates from a top university , has a tier 1 hukou, owns a home, is a single child, and isnt too ugly, old, or obese, can generally find a wife / gf no problem. All the smaller city women chase him and try to tie him down. He can marry a similarily educated wife but from a smaller town and generally the families will agree to the match.

女性确实渴望婚姻，但她们不愿选择那些可得的男性……请记住她们期待向上择偶，而非向下兼容。例如一位毕业于顶尖名校、拥有一线城市户籍、自有房产、身为独生子女且相貌尚可、年龄适中、身材匀称的男性，通常能轻松找到伴侣。来自小城镇的女性会主动追求并试图锁定这样的对象。他可以娶到一位教育背景相似但出身小城市的妻子，双方家庭大多会认可这桩婚姻。

A girl with the same qualifications has to find a guy at least equal, if not higher. A born and raised in shanghai girl from a middle class or upper class family cannot marry a guy from a small town without significant family opposition. She has to find someone from another tier 1 cities with similiar education but has to compete with all the girls from smaller towns for her partner. And half of those guys already chose a girl from a smaller town cuz they are prettier or cheaper or younger or whatever. So you get this excess of educated women in big cities who are single.

具备同等条件的女性则必须寻找至少条件相当、甚至更优的男性。一个出身上海中产或富裕家庭的本地女孩，若想嫁给小城镇男性，必将面临家庭的强烈反对。她只能从其他一线城市寻找教育背景相当的男性，却不得不与来自小城镇的姑娘们竞争——而其中半数优质男性早已选择了更年轻貌美或要求更低的异地伴侣。这就导致了大城市中大量高知女性处于单身状态。

23667
Both men and women realizing that getting married and have children is not the only way to be "successful".

男性和女性都意识到，结婚和生孩子并不是获得“成功”的唯一途径。

But years of only child basically doomed the pension system of China, so government will push for people to hurry in getting married and have kids.

但多年的独生子女政策基本注定了中国的养老金体系面临困境，所以政府会推动人们赶紧结婚和生孩子。

TipAfraid4755
Surplus of men doesn't mean all of them have the same financial capability.

男性过剩并不意味着他们都有相同的经济实力。

A lot probably don't earn enough to support a family comfortably and women's expectations have also risen with higher education and career opportunities

很多人可能挣的钱不够舒适地养家，而随着高等教育和职业机会的增加，女性的期望也上升了

Add the still high property prices so it's not a pure numbers mismatch but the supporting factors

再加上依然高昂的房价，所以这不仅仅是数字不匹配，还有背后的支撑因素

Happy-Comment8599
A lot of women in the T1 cities often like to focus on their careers or come from oftentimes wealthier backgrounds with higher requirements, And also everyone’s different not everyone wants to marry , or also may play for the same team etc.

一线城市的很多女性往往更关注事业，或者往往来自更富裕的家庭，要求更高。而且每个人都不一样，不是每个人都想结婚，或者也可能喜欢同性。

StuckEden
Men being sextive in who they want to marry and end up not marrying is not uncommon at all and they get the nicer name of "diamond bachelors". But a woman doing the same? Oh no she must have lost her maternal instinct, and is a leftover materialistic undesired cat lady!

男性在选择结婚对象时挑剔，最终未能成婚的情况并不少见，他们往往被美称为"钻石王老五"。但当女性这样做时呢？哦不，她一定是丧失了母性本能，是个剩女、拜金、没人要的猫奴！

Lotuswongtko
Are single women really have no sex partners? Do you know some rich men can have many concubines.

单身女性真的没有性伴侣吗？你知道有些富人可以有很多妾室。

Otherwise-Sun2486
105~120million leftover women and about 300millon leftover men. The one child policy about supposedly 30million extra men. Combine with high requirements for the men, women not willing to lower their standards it is obvious why. When guys are required to have a house in the city, a job that is usually twice or greater than the average wage, a car and an insane bride price, insane dating practices while the women just have to show up. You get this disparity.

约 1.05~1.2 亿“剩女”与近 3 亿“剩男”并存。独生子女政策据称造成约 3000 万男性过剩，加之女性对男性提出高要求且不愿降低标准，现状成因显而易见。当社会要求男性必须拥有城市房产、收入达平均工资两倍以上的工作、私家车以及天价彩礼，而约会文化又趋于畸形——女性仅需出席即可获得优待，这种婚恋市场的失衡便随之产生。

Fabulous_Let9225
bcuz those "leftover" women don't want those "leftover" men

因为那些"剩女"不想要那些"剩男"

gogoguo
Because not all women desire marriage and some are making a conscious choice to not marry.

因为并非所有女性都渴望婚姻，部分人正清醒地选择不婚。

King_Quay
It's crazy expensive to get married in China. Even poor rural families expect 200,000 彩礼, a car and a house to be able to marry their daughter.

在中国结婚的费用高得离谱。即使是贫穷的农村家庭，也期望能得到 20 万彩礼、一辆车和一套房子才愿意把女儿嫁出去。

The pressure on young men to get enough money to marry is insane.

年轻男性为了凑够结婚所需的资金压力巨大。

riyuzqki
No one wants to marry into a life worse than before.

没有人愿意婚后生活质量不升反降。

unlka
Went to the the marriage market ? In the park in Chengdu where you can read the profiles . Most women had bachelor degrees or higher and most men didn’t go to university.

去过成都公园里的相亲角吗？在那里可以看到个人资料。大多数女性拥有学士或更高学位，而大多数男性则未上过大学。

Mechor356
Simple: women prefer to date upwards. There are many men who exist, but most women would not consider or even notice them

很简单：女性倾向于向上择偶。确实有很多男性存在，但大多数女性不会考虑甚至注意到他们。

khelvaster
They're not left-over, they're voluntarily choosing to be single instead of pursuing life with a man because they think they can do better than their options

她们并非被剩下，而是自愿选择单身而非与男性共度一生，因为她们认为自己能找到比现有选择更好的伴侣

No-Permit9409
It's also because for the first time in history where women actually have a choice to be independent, they don't need to rely on a man to live. Women who have good paying jobs can live a comfortable lifestyle and not every women wants to have children either. In the bigger cities there are more opportunities and more options in life than the rural country side. If you haven't met a good partner yet you won't get married, just because there are more men than women doesn't mean these men are all quality partners.

还因为这是有史以来女性第一次真正拥有独立生活的选择，她们不必依靠男性来生存。有着不错工作的女性可以过上舒适的生活，也不是每个女性都想要孩子。相比于农村，大城市有更多的生活机会和选择。如果你还没遇到合适的伴侣，就不会结婚，仅仅因为男性多于女性，并不意味着这些男性都是优质的伴侣。

Training_Guide5157
Many women in China have high expectations for a partner, sometimes ridiculously high expectations. The "leftover women" are older, some have successful careers and assets, some don't, but they typically have much higher expectations than their younger counterparts.

中国许多女性对伴侣抱有高期望，有时甚至是高得不切实际的期望。"剩女"群体年龄较大，部分人事业成功、拥有资产，也有一部分并不具备这些条件，但她们通常比年轻女性对伴侣的期望值要高得多。

There is a movement in China against ridiculously high expectations from partners.

中国正兴起一场反对伴侣间不合理高期待的运动。

The general attitude towards older women from some men now is on why a man should marry a woman who spent her youth with other men, leaving the man to pick up the leftovers, when the man can easily choose a much younger partner with much lower expectations.

如今，部分男性对年长女性的普遍态度是：既然男性可以轻松选择年轻得多、要求低得多的伴侣，为何要娶一个将青春奉献给其他男性的女性，让自己接手“剩菜残羹”？

This ideology works in China because large age gaps aren't as frowned upon.

这种观念在中国有其土壤，因为较大的年龄差距在此并不那么受非议。