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From the outrageous opening ceremony to the organizational screw-ups, the games will surely go down in history for all the wrong reasons

从令人发指的开幕式，到组织上的失误，这届奥运会肯定会因为各种错误的原因而载入史册。

French culture isn’t just about masked balls at Versailles anymore. As the Paris Olympic Games have proven, it’s now also debating whether drag queens’ balls were adequately masked.

法国文化已经不仅仅是凡尔赛宫的化装舞会了。正如巴黎奥运会所证明的那样，现在人们也在争论变装皇后的蛋蛋是否遮严了。

Looks like Thomas Jolly, the Games’ Opening Ceremony director, is just now coming to the realization that the entire world doesn’t function like Paris Left Bank intellectuals. He bit off more than he could chew by transmitting a French art house vibe to every country around the globe, some of which – from Morocco and Algeria to China and the US – straight up censored parts of the show that perhaps should have come with a disclaimer in the same way that risqué French films do.

看来奥运会开幕式导演托马斯·乔利现在才意识到，整个世界并不是像巴黎左岸的知识分子那样运行的。他把一种法国艺术电影的氛围传递给了世界上的每个国家，其中一些国家——从摩洛哥和阿尔及利亚到中国和美国——直接审查了节目的部分内容，也许应该像法国电影那样加上一个免责声明。

Because it turns out that kids – and even some adults – weren’t quite ready to witness a giant Smurf rolling around in a fruit bowl in front of a bunch of drag queens re-enacting what appeared to be the Last Supper. And the fact that French blasphemy laws were abolished two years after the French Revolution, enshrining a right that became a cornerstone of French free speech, didn’t matter to those who felt offended, which included everyone from religious figures to left-wing France Unbowed leader Jean-Luc Melenchon.

因为事实证明，孩子们——甚至一些成年人——还没有准备好目睹一个巨大的蓝精灵在一群变装皇后面前在水果盘里打滚，这一幕重现了《最后的晚餐》。以及一个事实：法国的亵渎法在法国大革命两年后被废除，将一项成为法国言论自由基石的权利奉为圭臬，这对那些感到被冒犯的人来说并不重要，其中包括从宗教人士到法国左翼的不屈领袖让·吕克·梅朗雄。

France has defended religious satire as free expression, even when cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed led to a terrorist massacre in January 2015 at the Parisian headquarters of the magazine Charlie Hebdo, which published them. So this is just France being France, which wasn’t very well received, including by some of the most progressive-minded French officials.

法国一直为宗教讽刺作品辩护，称其为言论自由，即便是在2015年1月，先知穆罕默德的漫画在《查理周报》的巴黎总部引发恐怖主义屠杀时也是如此。所以法国就是法国，这并不是很受欢迎，包括一些思想最进步的法国官员。

One US-based advertiser – the wireless company C Spire – has already said it was yanking their Olympic advertising. Guess there’s a dice roll with the risk that your product might end up somewhere in the vicinity if a clip or screencap of a bunch of drag queens, or a saucy Papa Smurf, and that wasn’t quite the vibe that you were going for when you signed up for high-level sports sponsorship.

一家美国的广告客户——无线公司C Spire——已经表示，将撤回他们的奥运广告。我猜这存在一种风险，即你的产品可能出现在一群变装皇后或者一个涩情的蓝精灵爸爸的剪辑或屏幕截图里，这不是你在签约高水平体育赞助时所追求的氛围。

There was also an onslaught of reports of X (former Twitter) social media users being hit with copyright takedown notices for posting some of the controversial scenes from the opening show for debate and discussion. Not surprising that the International Olympic Committee, guardian of the Olympic brand, might not want the images etched into history of these Games, to be dominated by things like closeups of drag queens' crotches for the purpose of debating whether the world actually witnessed some fruit tumbling out of a pair of plum smugglers in a wardrobe malfunction – or whether it was just an everyday pantyhose rip. You know, the kind of thing that could happen to any dude in an average day at the office.

还有大量报道称，X(前Twitter)社交媒体用户因为发布了开幕式上一些有争议的场景以供辩论和讨论，而受到版权删除通知的打击。毫不奇怪，作为奥林匹克品牌的守护者，国际奥委会可能不希望这些形象被载入奥运会的历史，比如变装皇后的胯部特写，从而辩论全世界是否真的目睹了某个穿着乱七八糟衣服的家伙露出了一对铃铛，或者这只是日常发生的连裤袜撕裂。你知道，这种事在办公室的每一天都可能发生在任何人身上。

The Games have really showcased that world-famous French rigor.

奥运会确实展示了法国人世界闻名的严谨。

Whoever was in charge of the anthems for the men’s basketball games apparently saw that South Sudan was playing and just figured that the national anthem for Sudan would do. It’s like during the opening ceremonies when South Korean athletes were introduced as North Koreans. Same thing, really.

负责男篮比赛国歌的人显然看到了南苏丹的比赛，就认为苏丹的国歌也可以。就像在开幕式上，韩国运动员被介绍为朝鲜人一样。其实都一样。

One of the best things about these Games are the adorable mascots, the Phryges, based on the French Revolutionary hats of the same name. But at this point, can we get these little bright-red cuties to amp up the Gallic shrugging? Because that’s what’s really now become the main vibe of these Games.

本届奥运会最精彩的地方之一是可爱的吉祥物弗瑞日，它的原型是法国大革命时期的同名帽子。但在这一点上，我们能让这些鲜红色的小领带加上高卢人的耸肩吗? 因为这才是现在奥运会的主要氛围。

No air conditioning amid 33C heat in the Olympic village or athletes’ rooms because the French greenwashed their cheapness as “eco-friendly”? Shrug. Competitors complaining about the lack of high protein eggs and meat at the village chow halls because Games organizers figured that elite athletes could just eat like rabbits for the sake of the planet (and of profit margins, no doubt)? Shrug. The world is now discovering the kind of reception that I get at my local gym when they block whatever climate control exists at 26C in the middle of summer. That would be a “you” problem. Shrug. Some countries’ delegations took the initiative of supplying their own air conditioners, just as Team Great Britain ended up bringing over their own chefs so their athletes could be properly fed for high performance.

在33摄氏度的高温下，奥运村和运动员房间里没有空调，因为法国人把他们的小气粉饰成“环保”? 耸耸肩。运动员们抱怨村里的伙食厅里缺乏高蛋白的鸡蛋和肉类，因为奥运会组织者认为，为了地球(当然还有利润空间)，精英运动员可以像兔子一样吃草? 耸耸肩。现在，全世界都发现了我在当地健身房遇到的那种反应，当他们在盛夏把温度控制在26摄氏度时，他们就会关掉。那就是你的问题了。耸耸肩。一些国家的代表团主动自己带空调，就像英国代表团最终带来了自己的厨师，这样他们的运动员就可以在高水平的比赛中得到适当的饮食。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


The trains stopped running last week around France due to sabotaged lines. Israel has already blamed that on Iran. The average French person’s mind just went straight to everyday, garden variety French incompetence – the kind that would also would explain all the heavy-handed “security theatre” during the Games.

由于线路遭到破坏，火车上周在法国停运。以色列已经将此归咎于伊朗。普通法国人的脑子里都是家常便饭，普通法国人的无能——这种无能也可以解释奥运会期间各种严厉的“安全表演”。

The government required everyone to apply online for QR Codes if they wanted to even cross the downtown core, which was turned into a maze of 44,000 barricades days before the opening ceremony. And the excuse had to be a good one – like you lived there or had an appointment. And the Interior Ministry had already used the Games as a pretext for loading up on new high-tech surveillance systems, from surveillance drones and anti-drone systems to crowd scanners coupled with Minority Report style artificial intelligence algorithms. If all of it actually worked, then why give people the run-around? If their surveillance-industrial complex pals were going to stuff their pockets under the pretext of Games security, then couldn’t they just spy on us in peace without all the added bureaucratic nonsense?

政府要求所有人在网上申请二维码，如果他们想穿过市中心，就在开幕式前几天，市中心变成了一个由4.4万个路障组成的迷宫。而且借口必须很好——比如你住在那里或者有约会。此外，内政部已经以奥运会为借口，增加了新的高科技监控系统，从无人侦察机和反无人机系统，到人群扫描仪，再加上《少数派报告》式的人工智能算法。如果所有这些都是有效的，那为什么要逃避呢? 如果他们在监视行业的伙伴们要以奥运会安全为借口来填满他们的口袋，那么他们就不能直接在和平情况下监视我们，而不需要说各种多余的官僚主义废话?

Speaking of national security, a bunch of hackers leaked the military background of Israeli athletes, a country with mandatory service and currently involved in an active conflict criticized by the UN’s International Court of Justice and accused of apartheid – an offense that the IOC explicitly cites as justification for Games exclusion. Meanwhile Russian athletes who have never even been in the army can’t even compete in their country’s name. So what happens if a Russian wins a gold medal? The IOC created a special flag just for them, which looks like someone’s kid whipped it up in about five minutes on an app. They also made a new anthem with no lyrics for Russian athletes that sounds like the opening soundtrack for a make-believe fantasy movie. Which is really what all this is: one big Hollywood-grade fantasy that one of the top Olympic nations since forever doesn’t even exist now at the Olympics.

说到国家安全，一群黑客泄露了以色列运动员的军事背景，这个国家实行义务兵役，目前卷入了一场活跃的冲突，受到联合国国际法院的批评，并被指控实行种族隔离——国际奥委会明确援引这一罪行作为拒绝其参加奥运会的理由。与此同时，从未参过军的俄罗斯运动员甚至不能以自己国家的名义参加比赛。那么，如果俄罗斯人赢得金牌会发生什么呢? 国际奥委会专门为他们制作了一面特殊的旗帜，看起来就像某个孩子在应用程序上花了大约5分钟就把它做好了。他们还为俄罗斯运动员制作了一首没有歌词的新国歌，听起来就像一部虚构的奇幻电影的开场配乐。这一切都是真实的：一个好莱坞级的大幻想，一个一直名列前茅的奥运国家现在甚至不存在于奥运会上。

And remember those €1.4 billion to clean up the Seine River for the triathlon and open water events? The mayor of Paris and French sports minister rolled around in it for about a minute, gushing about how wonderful the water was.

还记得为铁人三项和开放水域赛事清理塞纳河所花的14亿欧元吗? 巴黎市长和法国体育部长在水里打滚了大约一分钟，滔滔不绝地说这水有多棒。

Well, it turns out that triathlon practice was cancelled on Sunday and Monday. Too much fecal bacteria. Organizers had until Tuesday’s men’s race to figure it all out. Then, on Tuesday, at 4am, they announced that the men’s triathlon would be postponed to Wednesday, right after the scheduled women’s race, with both triathlons “subject to the forthcoming water tests complying with the established World Triathlon thresholds for swimming.”

原来铁人三项训练在周日和周一取消了。大肠杆菌太多。组织者直到周二的男子比赛才弄清楚这一切。然后，在周二凌晨4点，他们宣布男子铁人三项赛将推迟到周三，正好在原定的女子比赛之后，两项铁人三项赛“都要接受即将进行的水质检测，符合既定的世界铁人三项赛游泳门槛”。

The backup plan, which they had seven years to come up with? Just to have the running and cycling without the swimming. Which is a whole other sport called a duathlon. Close enough though, right?

他们用了七年时间想出的后备计划? 只有跑步和骑自行车，没有游泳。这是另一项叫做两项全能的运动。很接近了，对吧?

As for the swimming, it turns out that they messed up and didn’t build enough seats into the Olympic pool venue for it to actually host the Olympic swimming, so they were forced to install a temporary swimming pool inside Paris La Défense Arena, where Taylor Swift recently performed. That pool is now the subject of much speculation among members of the sporting press and global swimming community, who are wondering whether the pool’s notable lack of depth or some other aspect of the makeshift construction is responsible for relatively slow swims at this meet. “Zero World Records have been broken at the 2024 Paris Olympics through two nights of competition in the pool. The last time that no World Record was broken after just one day of competition was 1992, but here we are, entering night three with zero,” one of the world’s leading swimming news and discussion outlets, SwimSwam, remarked in asking whether the Paris pool was just “slow”.

至于游泳，事实证明他们搞砸了，没有在奥运会游泳场馆里建设足够的座位来真正举办奥运会游泳比赛，所以他们被迫在巴黎La dvendense体育馆里建了一个临时游泳池，泰勒·斯威夫特最近在那里表演过。现在，这个游泳池在体育媒体和全球游泳界引起了很多猜测，他们想知道，是游泳池明显缺乏深度，还是临时建造的其他方面造成了本届奥运会游泳成绩相对较慢。“在2024年巴黎奥运会上，通过两晚的泳池比赛，没有一项世界纪录被打破。上一次没有人在一天的比赛中打破世界纪录是在1992年，但现在我们以零记录进入第三夜，”世界领先的游泳新闻和讨论媒体之一的SwimSwam在被问及巴黎的游泳池是否就是“慢”时评论道。

That world famous French discipline – really shining right now on the world stage. Thankfully, the athletes – in all their unforced diversity through meritocracy – have taken center stage despite being relegated to background actors in the opening show, having to share boats with other countries like they were Uber carpools. Except the refugees. Organizers gave them their own boat to sail down the Seine, smiling and waving. But with the way these Games are being run, it’s a wonder that it hasn’t just ended up in Britain.

世界闻名的法国足球现在在世界舞台上大放异彩。值得庆幸的是，尽管在开幕式上被降级为背景演员，不得不像优步拼车一样与其他国家共用船只，但运动员们——通过精英管理，自然而然地呈现出多样性——已经占据了舞台的中心。除了难民。组织者给了他们自己的船，让他们沿着塞纳河航行，他们面带微笑，挥手致意。但从奥运会的运作方式来看，它没有最终直接在英国举办，这是一个奇迹。