50 Times “Idiots At Work” Showed Just How Stupid Humans Can Be

50个老外在工作期间令人目瞪口呆的 “大聪明”行为(上)



编辑Adelaide Ross 与 Ieva Pečiulytė

Not every employee can be the sharpest tool in the toolbox. In fact, it seems that some of them probably shouldn't be in the toolbox at all...
Below, you'll find some of our favorite posts from the Idiots at Work Instagram page, which features facepalm worthy moments from a wide variety of industries that might make you wonder how these employees haven’t been fired yet. So enjoy scrolling through this list of stupidity, and be sure to upvote the choices that made you lose a bit of faith in humanity!

并不是每位员工都是你工具箱里最锐利的工具,感觉有些工具根本就不应该出现在工具箱里……
以下内容均收集于Instagram,你会在这里发现某些员工在上班期间所做出的为“大聪明”的行为,每个行业都有个别令人眼前一黑的”骚操作”的打工人,令人不禁想这种人怎么还未被给开除!
#1 自行车专用道

Stupid-People-Work
Marcos Valencia
This must be a joke.

这是开什么玩笑

Šimon Špaček
I hope that this sign was somewhere else and some prankster moved it.

这个电子告示牌咋放到道中间呢?不会是哪个爱搞恶作剧的搬过来的吧!

Spannermonkey (edited)
From the licence-plate and car model, this pic was taken in the state of New South Wales, Australia. Given all the possible combinations of incompetence, apathy and ill-will towards cyclists, I have no trouble believing this is real.

从车牌以及车形来看,这张照片很可能是在澳大利亚新南威尔士州拍的。考虑那里管事的以及对骑行者不友好的态度,这完全是有可能是真的。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


My O My (edited)
I've seen signs like this in real life

现实生活中我真见过这种事

Mrs Irish Mom
Yeah give them space on the road because they need to go around this stupid sign

好嘛,倒是留点地方啊,谁来不都得绕过这个蠢告示牌啊

Patsy Robins 1 hour ago
Common sight in Australia, unfortunately.

不幸的是,这种事澳大利亚很常见。
#2 “感恩”(请不要有邪恶的想法)

Stupid-People-Work
Sum Guy
That's how superman takes his payment for saving the world

这就是超人拯救世界后所得到的回馈

HelluvaHedgehogAlien
The door is on the left… thank you /jk

请左边屋子里进,谢谢

Farah Kamal
oh my gawd

好家伙

Lsai Aeon
This roller rink saw the memes and repainted that wall a few years ago

这里是旱冰场,这面墙几年前就已重新刷过了!

CD Mills
They just needed to run this by ONE teenage boy before painting!

他们只需要在画它之前让一个十几岁的男孩过来验证一下即可!

Chewie Baron
I’ll volunteer as tribute!

我甘愿“奉献”

Regina Holt
well, you've got two choices for a liquid here

好吧,你有两种液体可以选择

JenC
Skate World

溜冰世界

Gabby M 22 minutes ago
Oh my gosh I know this skating rink. I went to a 7th grade bday party there.

好么,我知道这个溜冰场。我还在那里过了七岁生日派对。

Couragetcd
Once again, Superman gets all the love and Batman is left on his own...looking on...

再一次,超人得到了所有的爱,只有蝙蝠侠在一旁顾影自怜
#3 (在你离开之前别忘了付钱,切记)

Stupid-People-Work
SCP 4666
Before you leave forget to pay. Do not stop!!

当你走之前又忘了给钱。千万别停(赶紧走)?

MaximumKarmaSaint
*Do Not STOP!!!

“千万别停”

Lara Verne
Run!

这是让走吗!

Couragetcd
I feel like it's missing something. Maybe a, "Don't blx!"

总感觉少写了些什么。就像是 “别犹豫!”

Javelina Poppers
I was just following orders.

我只是奉命行事。

AJay
Dine and dash

吃霸王餐

Riley Quinn
This reminds me of "Steal This Book" by Abbie Hoffman, 1970. And yes, people did steal the book.

这让我想起了1970年阿比·霍夫曼写的《偷这本书》。是的,后来这本书确实被人偷了。

————
We’re all capable of doing some stupid things in our personal lives. We might leave the house wearing a shirt inside out by accident or drive away while our coffee was sitting on the top of our car. But if there’s anywhere that we should be professional and on our game at all times, it’s in the workplace. While on the job, we’re getting paid to not be stupid, so to ensure that we don’t lose our jobs, most of us try to hold it together.

日常生活当中,我们都可能做一些蠢事情。比如不经意间反穿衬衫出门,或是开车离开时咖啡还放在车顶上。但如果有什么地方需要我们时刻保持职场状态,那就是工作场所。在工作中,想顺利拿到工资就避免做傻事,所以为了确保我们不会丢掉工作,我们都必须尽力保持清醒敬业的状态。

————

#4“智慧”

Stupid-People-Work
Sum Guy
back-breaking work

身心俱疲

Kaisa Koo
He's a backbone of his community

他可能是这里小区里“顶梁柱”

Corvus
In today's episode of "Why do men live less than women?"...

今日节目诠释了“为什么女人比男人活的久?”

Delta Dawn
cheerleading tournaments are getting weird

啦啦队比赛越来越怪了

Candace
Poor guy is going to have lower back problems!

下面那个可怜的家伙会腰疼的!

Pink kitty
This is by far the dumbest!

迄今为止看到过最蠢操作

Crazy Dog Lady
Definitely OSHA approved.

绝对符合《职业安全与卫生条例》的标准
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Oddball
OSHA says "3 points of contact" to do it safely.

《职业安全与卫生条例》说了,想要安全就要“三点着地”
#5 地址如下…

Stupid-People-Work
pineapple87
Thanks, I will!

谢谢,我会去看的

WindySwede
*visiting the site* .. "congrats your hired! You managed to type everything right!"

*访问网站* ..“恭喜你被录取!”因为你把这么复杂的地址都敲对了!”

Tucker Cahooter
Imagine typing that in accurately and getting HTTP error 404

想象一下,地址若是没敲错的话。得到的是404 not found 页面

Paul K. Johnson
Dammit. That's my phone number. Stop doxxing me, BP!!!!!!

该死的。那是我的电话号码。可别再骚扰我了,(血压上来了)

PFD
Maybe that's the test....

这不会是在测试吧

Justin Tyme
No problem. Just click on it.

没问题,点击一下
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


2x4b523p (edited)
My mom doesn’t know how to copy and paste so when she wants to send me a lix she writes it down on the paper, takes picture and sends the photo to me. It usually looks like this except in her bad handwriting. Edited to add: I have shown her many times how to copy and paste, she can do it and then forgets by the time I walk out of the door.

我妈不知道怎么复制粘贴,每当她想发给我一个链接地址时,她总是先把链接地址写在纸上,然后用相机拍下来发给我。她就会这样,而且她字写得也不太好。(补充)我已多次教他如何粘贴复制,当时她能记下来,可我一走她就又忘了怎么弄。

Stefaan De Clerck
I guess that's why qr-codes are used these days.

我想这就是为什么现在要用上二维码的原因。

Bike Angel
In case you couldn't read that, please feel free to visit Eyecare Specialties in Craig, Colorado!

如果你看不懂,请尽快到科罗拉多州克雷格眼科护理专科就医!

Edda Kamphues
Please tell me they are looking for an IT expert.

请告诉我,他们是在找IT方面的专家。
#6 到底哪天?

Stupid-People-Work

(图:此桥将于十月17日至28日期间封闭一天)

pineapple87
Drive forward and find out whether that day is today!

继续开,验证下封路的那一天是不是今天
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Zoey Bear
It's probably Oct. 29th.

不会说的是10月29日吧

LauraDragonWench
They must've worked for the cable company previously. "We'll be there on Wednesday between 9 am and 6 pm - thanks for your business!"

他们以前一定在有线电视公司干过。“我们将在周三上午9点到下午6点之间到您那里,感谢惠顾!”
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Julie S
Wow that's a really long day.

哇,那绝对是漫长的一天。

————
As hilarious as the photos on this list may be, there’s no question that some of them are actually quite dangerous. From bricks flying down the highway without being properly secured to the back of a truck to people balancing on Frankenstein’s monster-esque combinations of ladders, it’s likely that some accidents occured due to what’s going on in these photos.
According to Zippia, about 2.6 million nonfatal workplace accidents and injuries occur each year in the United States. Sprains, strains and tares are the most common injuries to sustain, while overexertion, slips, trips, falls and contact with obxts and equipment account for the vast majority of these injuries.

尽管这篇文章中的图片可能很搞笑,但毫无疑问,其中一些内容实际上相当危险。从高速公路飞驰卡车上未固定好的砖块,到人们在梯子上为保持平衡科学怪人般的脑洞大开,这些照片很可能反应出可能将要发生的问题事故。
据Zippia(网站)称,美国每年发生约260万起非致命工伤事件。扭伤、拉伤和撕裂是最常见的工伤,因工作或操作设备而产生的的过度劳累、滑倒、绊倒、跌倒占这类伤害的绝大多数。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


————

#7 惊心动魄

Stupid-People-Work
AJay
WHY ARE YOU STILL DRIVING BEHIND IT

这咋还不躲啊

Maya Baggins
Never seen Final Destination

这是从没看过系列电影《死神来了》吧

Sand Ers
They aren't driving behind it. They're stopped behind it.

这不是在跟前面的车。这车是在后面停着呢。

Isaac Harvey
Great minds think alike, but dumb minds think aliker.

智者见智,愚者见愚
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Sum Guy
I'm more mad at the person with the phone taking a picture

还有时间拿手机拍下这景象的人,心是挺大啊

pineapple87
Seems to be taken from the passenger side

好像是从副驾那边拍的
#8 身残志坚

Stupid-People-Work
Banana Vic
When you know you should stay home and rest but you gotta get your a*s to your job so you can make enough money to survive....

为养家糊口,即使你知道该呆在家里休息,但你也必须坚持出去工作

Papa
Do they make pickups that are front wheel drive? I don't claim to be a mechanical genius, but I believe that's the only way this could work.

这皮卡是前轮驱动的吧?我虽不是机械天才,但我相信这就是唯一可行的方法。

xitxarel·lo Panda 1 hour ago
Is an European plate . And almost all vehicles are front wheel drive, you are Right

看车牌是欧洲的。哪里的车基本都是前轮驱动,你说的没错。

Meyrin
Romanian car, not exactly surprised

罗马尼亚车,一点也不奇怪

Upstaged75
In the US you'd get in big trouble for doing that! It would be a very expensive ticket. Probably for reckless driving.

在美国你要是这样做,肯定会惹上大麻烦的! 这会被认为是鲁莽驾驶,能罚死你.

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het
The UK too, except it wouldn't just be a ticket. The police would seize the vehicle and you would have a court appearance to look forward to.

在英国也一样,只不过这不仅仅是一张罚单的问题了。警察会扣你的车,你就成等着去接法院传票吧。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Isabella
It is from the Ilfov county, which is surrounding Bucharest, Romania.

这是在罗马尼亚布加勒斯特外面的伊尔福夫县。
#9 “专业”

Stupid-People-Work
Paul Scheermeijer
90 degree angle is 90 degree angle. Done.

九十度就九十度…你就说是不是直角吧。

varwenea
When you refuse to pay overtime...

当你拒绝发加班费时……

CD Mills
I don't see any problem in the future...anyone else?

我觉得以后不会出现任何问题。其他人怎么认为我不知道?

Olivia Lisbon
Nope, looks fine to me. Quality work, and it shows.

不,我觉得挺好的。修的多好啊,显而易见。

Kimbowa
“There! I fixed it.”

这里我给修好了
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


gilded panda
Please don’t be gas please don’t be gas

莫生气,拜托,千万别气

————
All of these workplace accidents cost the American people a pretty penny each year, coming in at a whopping $250 billion annually. And in 2022, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, or OSHA, had a budget of $591,787,000. But of course, not every workplace has an equal level of risk. 15% of injuries that occur while on the job in the US happen in manufacturing jobs, and construction has some of the highest on the job fatality rates. However, line cooks have been found to be at the highest risk of contracting COVID-19 while at work.

因职场工伤每年都要消耗美国人民一大笔支出,每年高达2500亿美元。2022年,职业安全与健康管理局(OSHA)的预算为59178.7万美元。当然,并不是每个工作场所都有同样的风险。在美国,15%的工伤都发生在制造业,但建筑业是死亡率最高的行业之一。可是,一线厨师在工作时感染新冠病毒的风险却为最高。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


————

#10 “缅怀”

Stupid-People-Work
Antonio Jimenez
Irony is dead. Long live irony.

讽刺已死。讽刺万岁。

MaximumKarmaSaint
They will be missed.

我们会怀念他们的。

Mike F
Hopefully they made it in time to get that last donut!

希望他们能赶上趟拿到最后一个甜甜圈!

Jan Rosier
forklift has been working 8 hours straight, needs a res

小叉车已连续工作了8小时,是该休息休息了

Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
I'm just trying to figure out HOW?

这到底是咋弄成这样的?

LizzieBoredom
He probably leaned way out of the forklift to hang up the sign.

可能是站在叉车上探出身去挂条幅

M W (edited)
I worked for a small, family owned home improvement store in Phoenix as the warehouse manager. One day, one of the owner's sons came into the warehouse and jumped on the stand up forklift we had. He was zipping around just playing, ignoring my requests to stop. He decided to enter the second half of the warehouse, which was through an opening just like the one in the pic. He caused a lot of damage to the forklift and the wall, both resulting in expensive repairs. Owner wrote me up for allowing an untrained person on the lift and never said a word to his son.

我在凤凰城的一家小型装修公司当仓库经理。有天,老板一个儿子跑进仓库,跳上了这里的立式叉车。这孩崽子玩嗨了,根本不听我们让他下来的劝告。他开着叉车往仓库里面乱跑,还想穿一个门,最后就变成像图片里的那样。车和墙都被撞坏了,花了好多维修费。因为我没有制止一个未经训练的人开叉车,而且期间我自始至终没对他儿子说过一句话,最后,老板给让写了一份检讨。

Phoenix
The sign says Thank you for working safely. As I am not working safely, I do not expect to be thanked.

条幅上写着“感谢您安全工作”。由于我的工作不安全,所以我不指望得到感谢了。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


North
It has been 0 days since the last accident.

距离上次事故才过去了0天。
#11 “如绑”

Stupid-People-Work
Donald Crocker, Jr.
There was a vid once with something similar, the truck with bricks hit a bump or something and a brick flew off and went through the windshield of a car going the opposite way on the highway killing a passenger.

以前看过一个类似的视频,一辆载着砖头的卡车撞上了一个凸起或什么东西垫起来,一块砖头顺势飞了出来,炸穿了一辆在高速公路上对面正常行驶的汽车挡风玻璃,砸死了一名乘客。

Pink kitty
How sad

痛心

Sanguinius
Saw that video. It was the guy's mom who died. You can hear him absolutely loosing his mind when he looks at her.

看过那个视频。死的是那人的妈妈。当他看着她妈当时的场面,都疯了。

LonelyLittleLeafSheep
She was only 29, don't think it was his mother.

那女的才29岁,应该不是他妈。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Kimbowa (edited)
Thank goodness they had that rope.

谢天谢地,他们甚至还给绑了条绳子。

Rainstorm
Why even bother putting that rope there, that does almost nothing

为什么要绑条绳子,有啥用?
#12 痕迹

Stupid-People-Work
Ashlisha
Murder outline of a squirrel.

松鼠的谋杀现场轮廓线。

The Original Bruno
And there's a French restaurant with a job opening, too!

又有一家法国餐厅在招人!
(注:指法国电影《抢劫坚果店》)

Nilsen
Untitled-65b8b0101cfc9.jpeg
————
Not all stupidity in the workplace leads to accidents and fatalities, however. Sometimes, it simply leads to less than brilliant employees losing their jobs. Liz Ryan wrote a piece for Forbes detailing the stupidest things she’s had to fire employees for, and she first notes that someone lost their job for stealing other workers’ lunches. Apparently, when the lunch thief got caught, he told Liz, “I didn’t like this job anyway.”

然而,并非所有在工作场所的愚蠢行为都会导致事故和伤亡。有时,它只会导致不那么优秀的员工丢掉工作。丽兹·瑞恩曾为《福布斯》写过一篇文章,详细列出了她因员工的“大聪明”行为而不得不炒了他们的事情,她首先指出,有人因为偷吃其他员工的午餐而丢了工作。显然,当那小偷被抓住时,他反而还跟莉兹说:“反正我也不喜欢这份工作。”

————

#13 “摆设”

Stupid-People-Work
Surenu
Windows XP Firewall

感觉就像是WIN XP 里的防火墙一样

cerinamroth
This has got to be Germany. I see gates like this a lot and it's bizarre. Hide the bins at all costs, but don't be under any illusions that they are safe!

这肯定是在德国。我总能看到这样式的门,令人疑惑。想方设法吧垃圾箱挡起来,真不知图的是啥,难道是怕丢!

Bonesko
But how am I supposed to steal their garbage?!

还能有人想偷他家垃圾??

Jack Burton
Now it's just freakin annoying to steal this garbage bin.

现在想偷个垃圾桶都那么麻烦了。
#14 水上杯托…

Stupid-People-Work
Banana Vic
I love that someone tried to do a bathtub beer....hello, my best friend!

我喜欢一边泡澡一边喝啤酒....你好,我最好的朋友!

Tee Pussi
I don't have a bath so I have to drink showerbeers

我家没浴盆,所以我只能一边淋浴一边喝啤酒

Jason
I feel like that flamingo is my spirit animal.

我觉得火烈鸟就是我的灵兽。

similarly
in the left pic, more than half of the cup is in the flamingo, so it's more balanced. In the right pic, the cup is significantly taller, which WILL affect balance. The problem isn't necessarily the design of the flamingo (though it could have been better). The real problem is the size of the cup used.

左图中,杯子至少能塞进这个火烈鸟杯托里一半,所以能保持不倒。而右图,杯子明显很高,当然不稳定了。问题不一定是火烈鸟杯托的设计(尽管本应设计的更好)。真正的问题是杯子的尺寸大小。
#15 “加温”

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Stupid-People-Work
Marcos Valencia
Lunch time!!!!!

午饭时间到!!

pineapple87
Sure, leave a blowtorch unsupervised in a room full of flammable materials, why don't you?

当然,在一个充满易燃物的屋子里放一个没人看管的喷灯,这是嫌事不大么?

Marcellus II
Time to test those supposedly flame-retardant materials up to building code. You don't want untested stuff in your house, do you?

是时候测试这些所谓的阻燃材料是否符合建筑标准了。你不想让未经测试的材料用在家里装修,是吧?

Jill Bussey
Just drying out the insulation.

只是在烘干绝缘材料。

AJay
What are they trying to do here? Start a housefire?

他们想在这里做什么?火烧房子

Marcellus II
My guess is it's too cold either for comfort or for say some glue to set. This is a very unsafe and inefficient space heater...

我猜可能是这屋子里太冷了,要么感觉不舒服,要么温度低没法粘东西,用这种方式加温既不安全效率还低。

Regina Holt
i hope that this is photoshop!!!!!!!! I can't imagine someone actually doing this

我希望这图p的 !!!!!!!!我无法想象真有人敢这样做

Full of Giggles
My parents house caught fire because a plumber did something similar. The guy left the torch on and set it next to a wood stud and insulation.

我爸妈家的房子就因为一个水管工做了类似的事情把房子烧了。那家伙把这东西放在了木柱子和绝缘材料旁还没闭火一直烧着。

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Liz went on to note that she’s fired “about a dozen people for having sex in the electrical closet or the security room or someplace else.” Another employee even invited two “call girls” to his room while on a business trip and charged the expense to a company credit card. There’s nothing wrong with having fun on your own time in your own home (and with your own money), but it is quite idiotic to mix work and play like that.

莉兹接着指出,她已开除了“大约12个人,因为他们在电气柜、保安室或有些地方明目张胆地啪啪”。一名员工甚至在出差期间找了两名“应召女郎”到他的房间,还吧消费费用都记入公司的账上。在自己的家里(用自己的钱)享受个人时光并没有什么错,但像这样把工作和娱乐混在一起的那就太蠢了。