If you’re an introvert, maybe you don’t like talking on the phone. Maybe you hate making or receiving calls most of the time.

如果你是一个内向的人，也许你不喜欢打电话。也许你大部分时间都讨厌打电话或接电话。

Maybe you feel anxious hearing the ring or buzz of your phone. Or your heart pounds when you’re dialing someone, scattered mind feverishly wondering what’s to come. Or you go out of your way to avoid making phone calls.

也许你听到手机铃声或嗡嗡声会感到焦虑。或者当你打电话给别人时，你的心会砰砰直跳，分散的思绪迫切地想知道会发生什么。或者你会刻意避免打电话。

Talking on the phone can be a difficult experience for many introverts. Introverts or those with a reserved personality may feel phone calls are performative experiences as opposed to engaging moments. In general, introverts gain energy through reflective activities and time alone while the ones who are extroverted or outgoing thrive on interactions and chattiness.

对许多内向的人来说，打电话是一件很困难的事情。内向的人可能会觉得打电话是一种表演体验，而不是享受的时刻。一般来说，内向的人通过反思和独处来获得满足，而外向的人则通过互动和闲聊来获得快乐。

As an introvert, I don’t usually like talking on the phone. This is despite growing up hearing my Chinese parents excitedly answer the big black corded phone every time it went RING RING in the hallway at home. Countless times I watched them yell down the line (really loudly really making sure they were heard) to chat with equally loud Chinese relatives for hours. I never related with such loquacious communication.

作为一个内向的人，我通常不喜欢打电话。尽管在我的成长过程中，我的中国父母每次在家里的走廊里响起铃声时，都会兴奋地接起黑色的有线电话。我无数次看到他们在打电话的时候大喊大叫(非常大声，确保对方能被听到)，和同样大声的中国亲戚聊上几个小时。我对这种喋喋不休的交谈从来没有兴趣。

When you much prefer messaging or texting, it can feel like a nightmare until the phone stops ringing or buzzing or the phone conversation ends. Sometimes telephobia or telephone anxiety could be a real thing too, making it even harder to approach phone calls if you’re an introvert. And here are some other reasons why introverts may not always like speaking on the phone.

如果你更喜欢发短信或发信息时，直到电话铃声停止或通话结束，感觉就像经历了一场噩梦。有时电话恐惧症或电话焦虑症也可能是真实存在的，如果你是一个内向的人，这让你更难接听电话。这里还有一些内向者不喜欢打电话的其他原因。

1. No time to think or prepare

1.没有心理准备
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Phone calls that you aren’t expecting put you on the spot. Starting off with small talk and pleasantries, you don’t know where the conversation goes. For introverts who like planning and thinking things through, this may be unnerving: you feel unprepared or rushed especially if it’s someone unknown on the phone, feeling unable to offer thoughtful ideas.

你没有预料到的电话会让你陷入困境。从闲聊和客套话开始，你不知道谈话的内容将如果发展。对于喜欢计划和思考的内向者来说，这可能会让他们感到不安:你会感到毫无准备或措手不及，尤其是当电话那头是陌生人时，你会觉得无法提供周到的想法。

At times you might pause on the phone to collect yourself, leading to awkward silences. So you find it hard to express your true self let alone your thoughts over the phone – far from having meaningful and intentional deeper talk that you normally like.

有时你可能会在通话过程中停下来整理思绪，这会导致尴尬的沉默。所以你发现在电话里很难表达真实的自我，更不用说你的想法了——这远不是你通常喜欢的有意义的、更深层次的谈话。

When friends call me out of the blue, I always feel caught off guard. Even with really good friends, I wonder what to say after greeting each other – preferring if they had messaged first to give me a heads up for a chat.

当朋友们突然打电话给我时，我总是感到措手不及。即使是和真正的好朋友，我也不知道在互相问候后该说些什么——我更希望他们能先发信息给我，让我提前知道他们要和我聊天。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


2. No visual cues

2. 没有视觉线索
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


When you’re talking on the phone, you can’t read expressions or body language. That can be intimidating if you’re an introvert or quiet person who likes to observe. Often you want to be self-aware as much as possible, observing and being mindful of others’ emotions.

当你打电话时，你无法看到对方的表情或肢体语言。如果你是一个内向或安静的人，喜欢观察，这可能会令你感到害怕。因为通常情况下，你会观察并留意他人的情绪，然后再说一些有分寸的话。

If it’s a call from an unknown or private number, it can be hard to know who is on the other end of the line. It can be draining figuring out who you’re really talking to and maintain your composure to match the enthusiasm of the call.

如果是未知号码或私人号码打来的电话，可能很难知道电话另一端是谁。弄清楚你到底在和谁说话，并保持冷静来应对电话那头的热情，这可能会让人精疲力竭。

3. You worry about being too soft

3.你担心自己太软弱

Not all introverts are soft-spoken. But for those who are or aren’t used to speaking up on the spot (not to be confused with being shy), you may anxiously wonder if the person on the phone can hear you loud and clear.

并不是所有内向的人都说话轻声细语。但对于那些习惯或不习惯在现场大声说话的人(不要与害羞混淆)，你可能会焦虑地想知道电话那头的人是否能听到你大声而清晰的声音。

There have been times when the other person on the phone said to me, ‘Sorry, I can’t hear you’ or flat out matter-of-fact stated, ‘There’s some background noise’. While I never take it personally, these are scenarios where you’re being judged for your presence on the phone. However, conflictingly at the same time, the other person over the phone is giving you their time of the day – and you probably genuinely want to make sure they can hear you.

有时候，电话那头的另一个人会对我说，“对不起，我听不见你说什么”，或者干脆实事求是地说，“有一些嘈杂”。虽然我从不认为这是针对我，但在这种情况下，你会因为在打电话过程中的表现而受到评判。然而，与此同时矛盾的是，电话里的另一个人正在为你付出了他们一天中的时间——而你可能真的只是想确保他们能听到你说的话。

4. One sided conversation

4. 单方面的谈话
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Many introverts like to listen and take time considering their thoughts. When you’re on the phone, you may often find yourself listening a lot and the other person dominates the call. You could find it hard to get a word in especially if the other person is eager to chat away. Though there is much value and virtue in listening as an introvert, when you don’t get to say much on a call, you wonder your value and virtue of partaking in conversation.

许多内向的人喜欢倾听，并花时间思考。当你打电话的时候，你可能经常会发现自己听了很多，而对方主导了整个通话。你可能会发现很难插句话，尤其是当对方急于说话的时候。虽然作为一个内向的人，倾听有很多好处和优点，但当你在电话中不能说很多话时，你会怀疑参与这场谈话是否有价值和意义。

5. You want peace and quiet

5. 你想要平静和安静

Many introverts gravitate towards solitude. When there’s an unexpected phone call or one that goes on for quite a while, you may feel like your space is intruded upon. You might not like being interrupted or disturbed by a phone call in the first place. And you’re likely to message or text to comfortably keep your peace and quiet.

许多内向的人倾向于独处。当接到一个意外的电话或一个持续了很长一段时间的电话时，你可能会觉得你的空间被侵犯了。你可能一开始就不喜欢被电话打断或打扰。你可能会通过发信息或短信来舒适地保持平静。

* * *
Sometimes there is not much choice but to make or take a phone call. When you have to be on the phone as an introvert, perhaps you might want to set expectations that you’re available for a short chat or set a topic you want to chat about. Or you can space out making or taking calls so as to not overwhelm yourself.

有时除了打电话或接电话之外别无选择。作为一个内向的人，当你必须打电话时，也许你想设定一个目标，即你可以与人简短地交谈，或者聊一个你想聊的话题。或者你可以留出时间打电话或接电话，这样就不会让自己不知所措。

At one point in my life I worked in a call centre handling inbound calls. Sometimes I took over a hundred calls a day in a non-scxted environment, with only a short minute in between calls to take the next call. The introvert in me felt drained each day: drained from wearily anticipating each call one after the other, drained from talking to strangers and helping them as best as possible all day. But it was a character-shaping experience. With each person whom I spoke to, no matter how chipper or angry their voice sounded, each desired connection – human connection where they are heard and seen.

在我生命中的某一段时间，我在呼叫中心工作，处理接入的电话。有时候，在没有脚本的情况下，我一天要接100多个电话，而每通电话之间只有短短的一分钟让我来进行调整然后接下一个电话。内向的我每天都感到精疲力竭：疲惫地等待着一个接一个的电话，疲惫地与陌生人交谈，疲惫地一整天尽可能地帮助他们。但这是一次塑造性格的经历。与我交谈过的每一个人，无论他们的声音听起来多么爽朗或愤怒，他们都渴望建立一种人与人之间的联系，渴望让他们的心声被听到和看到。

The universal denominator between introverts who are wary of phone calls and those who don’t mind conversing on the phone, is the need for connection. Perhaps it’s a kind of one-to-one connection with one someone or a kind of connection with something intangibly wider – connecting with others in order to connect with oneself on another level.

害怕打电话的内向者和不介意打电话的人之间的共同点是，他们都需要联系。不管这是一种与某人一对一的联系，还是一种与看不到的人的更广泛的联系——与他人的联系是为了在另一个层面上与自己联系。

Everyone has different preferences of communicating and ways of self-expression alongside their individual wants and needs. So it’s no surprise some of us like phone calls and others don’t. A study on mobile phone users in the UK found those who are phone averse feel texting provides the remote social connection they need, while eager phone talkers see texting as a complimentary medium to calls. Another study suggests extroverts are much more comfortable than introverts at making phone calls in public places.

每个人都有不同的沟通偏好和自我表达方式，以及他们个人的需求。所以有些人喜欢打电话，有些人不喜欢也就不足为奇了。一项针对英国手机用户的研究发现，那些不喜欢打电话的人认为短信提供了他们所需要的远程社交联系，而热衷于打电话的人则把发短信视为通话的免费媒介。另一项研究表明，外向的人比内向的人更擅长在公共场所打电话。

Admittedly there are times when talking on the phone is easier and more convenient. For instance, calling someone may be the best way to explain something or tell a complex story when you can’t meet in person. Sometimes you might just need a good two or three hour phone chat with a good friend who happens to be far away. Often in such instances, introvert or not, you probably have minimal qualms about chatting on the phone.

诚然，有些时候打电话更容易、更方便。例如，当你不能见面时，打电话给某人可能是解释某事或讲述一个复杂故事的最佳方式。有时候你可能只是需要和远在他处的好朋友打电话聊上两三个小时。通常在这种情况下，不管你是不是内向的人，你都不会对打电话聊天感到不安。

These days where many prefer connecting through social media, perhaps there’s less inclination to make or take calls the traditional way with your mobile phone or a landline. Voice messages, video chats and Zoom are the norm these days – arguably the new phone calls. It’s interesting to note extroverts seem to have lower levels of Zoom fatigue and it has been discussed high-functioning introverts tend to enjoy spending less time communicating on social media. Though you can virtually see each other on video, for some introverts speaking and being on video at the same can be doubly draining: there’s the constant talking with the added stimulation of visibly presenting oneself as engaged. On some occasions I’ve talked the hours away with friends across the world on social media – sometimes with the camera off.

如今，许多人更喜欢通过社交媒体联系，可能不太愿意用手机或固定电话的传统方式打电话或接电话了。语音信息、视频聊天和Zoom是如今的常态——可以说是新的电话。有趣的是，外向的人似乎会更对Zoom乐此不疲，而内向者往往只愿意花更少的时间在社交媒体上交流。虽然你们实际上可以在视频聊天中看到对方，但对于一些内向的人来说，同时说话和在视频中出现会让人加倍疲惫：一边不停地说话，一边要用肢体语言明显地表现出自己在沉浸其中。有时候，我会在社交媒体上和世界各地的朋友聊上几个小时，但有时会关掉摄像头。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


There’s always a sense of urgency when the phone rings or buzzes as an incoming call drops in, same with getting a message. Almost always you instinctively shift your attention towards that incoming yet intangible, unseen connection. On questioning why one feels compelled to answer a ringing phone, media theorist Marshall McLuhan said:

当电话嗡嗡作响时，总会有一种紧迫感，就像收到信息一样。你几乎总是本能地把注意力转移到那些即将到来的无形的、看不见的联系上。媒体理论家马歇尔.麦克卢汉在被问及为什么人们会觉得有必要去接电话时表示:

‘Why does a phone ringing on the stage create instant tension?…(The) phone is a participant form that demands a partner, with all the intensity of electric polarity.’

“为什么电话铃一响就会立刻产生紧张感?……电话是一种需要伙伴的参与形式，具有所有电极性强度。”

The ringing and urgency of answering the phone gives rise to a tension to reach out, a certain importance in the air. And that importance is your innate deep desire for connection.

电话的铃声和接电话的急迫性引起了一种想要伸手的紧张感，空气中弥漫着某种重要的事情即将来临的气氛。这个重要的事情就是你与生俱来的对联系的渴望。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


It’s a privilege to talk and connect with each other, even for a moment.

彼此交谈和交流是我的荣幸，即使只是片刻。

Do you like or dislike phone calls?

你是喜欢还是不喜欢接打电话?