QA问答：大多数西方父母会在孩子18岁时，就把孩子踢出去，这是真的吗？这个孩子要怎么活下来？
Is it true that most Western parents kick their kid out at the age of 18? How does the child survive?
译文简介
在法国或美国，通常不是这样的。
不过，我是在18岁生日的前3周搬了出去的，直到考上研究所才回来的，但这是我个人的选择——我的两个哥哥和姐姐也搬走了，但家里还有5个人，我想要一段时间的独处时光。
但大多数孩子不会这么做。我自己想办法养活自己，完成了我的学业，这很艰难。对于许多年轻人来说，在他们能够完全独立之前可以有回家的选择是件好事。而且大多数父母都允许他们这样做。
正文翻译
Is it true that most Western parents kick their kid out at the age of 18? How does the child survive?
大多数西方父母会在孩子18岁时，就把孩子踢出去，这是真的吗？这个孩子要怎么活下来？
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This is not generally true in France or the USA.
Of course, I moved out about 3 weeks before my 18th birthday and hardly came back until I was in graduate school, but that was my choice — my 2 elder siblings had left, but there were 5 still at home and I needed a big dose of solitude.
But most kids don’t do that. I managed to support myself through school, but it was hard. It’s nice for many young adults to be able to go back home until they are independent in the world. And most parents permit it.
在法国或美国，通常不是这样的。
不过，我是在18岁生日的前3周搬了出去的，直到考上研究所才回来的，但这是我个人的选择——我的两个哥哥和姐姐也搬走了，但家里还有5个人，我想要一段独处时光。
但大多数孩子不会这么做。我自己想办法养活自己，完成了我的学业，这很艰难。对于许多年轻人来说，在他们能够完全独立之前可以有回家的选择是件好事。而且大多数父母都允许他们这样做。
Everything was cheaper then ( like rent- even adjusted for inflation), so it was possible to live alone.
那时，一切都很便宜（比如房租——就算考虑到通货膨胀也是便宜的），所以可以独自生活。
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I had to share apartments with friends for years to make ends meet until I was in graduate school and actually had a (sort of) part time job that paid decent money.
During undergraduate school, it was a challenge. I would do all sorts of jobs to earn sufficient funds to supplement my scholarships. The one that paid the best was working on a loading dock at night. Not recommended, but it worked for me.
多年来，我不得不和朋友合租公寓以维持生计，直到我上研究生院，实际上有了一份（某种）兼职工作，薪水不错。
在本科期间，这是一个挑战。我会做各种各样的工作赚取足够的资金来补充我的奖学金。报酬最高的是晚上在装卸码头工作。不推荐，但对我很有用。
I was.
I was unprepared at the time. But I managed. I had to learn pretty much everything from the fact that I had to pay bills, to learning to drive, to how to hold onto a job on my own.
This was at the tail end of the boomer generation. Thankfully it was in the mid-seventies, I lived near a university, which meant that a huge bulk of the local population was around my age. Finding roommates who were smarter than me was a Godsend.
我就是。
当时我没有做好准备。但我成功了。我必须学习几乎所有的东西，我必须支付账单，必须学习开车，必须学习如何独自保住工作。
这是婴儿潮一代的末期。值得庆幸的是，那是在70年代中期，我住在一所大学附近，这意味着当地大部分人都和我差不多大。找到比我聪明的室友真是意外的好运。
Tossing your kid out at 18 without support is abuse. OTOH, my home situation had become so weird, I would have left on my own. I told my own son that he will always have a home. Unfortunately, that home was in Indiana, and he was determined to make one of his own in San Francisco - which he did at sixteen, (albeit with fairly considerable assistance from me).
我得到了当地嬉皮士的很多帮助，住在一系列合作社里，除了床，一些衣服，浴室和厨房，还有立体声音响，不需要更多了。我最终在20多岁的中后期考上了一所州立大学。那时候也是我买第一辆车的时候。
在没有支持的情况下把你的孩子扔出去是一种虐待。另一方面，我是因为家庭状况变得非常奇怪，自己选择离开的。我告诉我自己的儿子，他的家永远都在。不幸的是，那所房子在印第安纳州，他决定在旧金山自己建一所房子——他十六岁时就这样做了（尽管得到了我相当大的帮助）。
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Hello, Xinyu !
Q: Is it true that most Western parents kick their kid out at the age of 18?
A: Most of the time, the kid moves out by themselves.
Q: How does the child survive?
A: Legally, they’re adult at age 18, so it’s no longer a child. Practically, they study at university or get a job.
你好，Xinyu !
问： 大多数西方父母在孩子18岁时就把孩子踢出去，这是真的吗？
答： 大多数时候，孩子是自己搬出去的。
问： 这个孩子要怎么活下来？
答： 从法律上讲，他们在18岁时已经成年，所以不再是孩子了。实际上，他们在大学学习或去找一份工作。
No, it's not true. At all. I have only heard of one single case among all the people I know, and that was because she asked her father to sober up; he was not exactly the best of fathers. (They mended their relation later.)
Lots of 18-year-olds want to move out, though, and it's seen as an appropriate age to do that.
The thing is, of course, that they can't really do that until they can support themselves. So it really means either a job, or university studies.
不，这不是真的。我认识的所有人中，我只听到过一个案列，那是因为她要求父亲醒酒，他并不是个好父亲。他们后来修复了关系。
不过，很多18岁的年轻人都想搬出去，他们认为这是一个合适的年龄。
当然，问题是，在他们能够养活自己之前，他们无法真正做到这一点。因此，这实际上意味着要么去工作，要么去大学学习。
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I actually knew two young people who were both kicked out by a step-parent. One was my brother’s 16-year-old girlfriend (don't panic, he was the same age) who went to our local welfare office and got help to rent an apartment and stay in high school. The other was my son’s friend who was kicked out at age 18 but managed to go on to trade school with the help of a provincial bursary program. Luckily we live in a Canadian province that provides some support for struggling young people to continue their education.
事实上，我认识两个年轻人，他们都被继父母踢了出去。其中一个是我哥哥16岁的女朋友（别慌，我哥哥当时和她同龄），她去了我们当地的福利办公室，得到了帮助，租了一套公寓，继续上高中。另一个是我儿子的朋友，他在18岁时被开除，但在省级助学金项目的帮助下，他成功地进入了贸易学校。幸运的是，我们生活在加拿大的一个省，该省为苦苦挣扎的年轻人继续接受教育提供了一些支持。
None of my five children have been asked to leave, kicked out or expected to leave, they all did so in their own time but all between 19 and 22.
All rented places initially and some of them came back while between rentals and between a rental and buying their first homes.
And they have bought their own homes, not relied on a spouse to help with the economy, other than my second daughter, married at 19 to a man who already owned his own. She is the only married one. Her elder sister and one of her brothers are divorced,
youngest son and daughter never married but bought their own homes anyway.
None of them are highly paid except eldest son. Just normal wage earners.
我的五个孩子，没有一个被要求离开、踢出或被期望离开，他们都是在自己选择的时间离开的，都是在19岁到22岁之间。
最开始，他们都是租房住，其中有人在租房、买房之间来回。
最后，他们买了自己的房子，他们不依赖配偶提供经济帮助，除了我的第二个女儿。我的二女儿在19岁的时候嫁给了一个有房的男人。她是唯一一个已婚的人。她的姐姐和她的一个兄弟离婚了。最小的儿子和女儿从未结婚，但还是买了自己的房子。
除了长子之外，他们都没有高薪，只是普通工薪阶层。
No more true than that other belief commonly held by Asians: that westerners also “kick out” their elderly parents into nursing homes. I think they just don’t get the concept of “personal autonomy” as it is practised in the so-called Western world. For the most part, adults *choose* not to live with their parents, no one’s kicking anyone out and people decide for themselves where they want to live! Until they lose capacity, at which point a decision is usually made “in their best interests”. I’ve banged my head against a brick wall many times trying to explain this concept to my Asian relatives living in Asia… But no, they just don’t “get it” (cue sociological arguments about communal vs individualistic societies that go way over my head lol)
亚洲人还普遍持有的另一种信念是：西方人会把年迈的父母“踢”进养老院。我认为他们只是没有理解西方世界的“个人自主”概念。在大多数情况下，成年人*选择*不与父母住在一起，没有人会把任何人踢出去，人们自己决定他们要住在哪里！在他们失去能力之前，通常会“为了他们的最大利益”做出决定。我曾经多次绞尽脑汁，试图和亚洲的亲戚们解释这个概念……但，他们不能“明白”。（提示：关于社区与个人主义社会的社会学争论，我难以理解，哈哈）
Most kids actually WANT to move out of their parents home one they reach adulthood. (18) Or they did back in my day. They should move out sometime before turning 20. Well, if their parents raised em right, anyway.
事实上，大多数孩子都想在成年后搬离父母的家。在我的那个时代，18岁就可以这么做了。他们应该在20岁之前搬出去。好吧，如果他们的父母把他们教育的很好的话。
Well I've got a 27 year old daughter, her 30 year old husband and my 7 year old granddaughter living with me ..so no.
我有一个27岁的女儿，她30岁的丈夫和我7岁的孙女和我住在一起……所以不是这样的。
I wish supporting yourself didn't mean going to work. It should just be the ability to find food in the world. Not too hard in America lol
我认为，养活自己并不等于一定要去上班。养活自己应该只是在世界上寻找食物的能力。在美国不太难，哈哈。
I was 16, and left of my own free will to go to school.
我当时16岁，自愿离开去上学。
I was, essentially, kicked out at 18. So it does happen. I don’t think I know anyone else who was though.
基本上，我在18岁时就被踢出去了。所以它确实发生了。不过，我想我不认识其他人也是这样。
No, it’s not common at all.
I’ve read quite a few stories of American parents who make their children pay rent once they’re adults but I’ve never heard of that in Europe.
I grew up in Germany and I had one friend where the parents made it clear that they expected him to move out once he finished school. Most of my friends did that anyway but he was the only one who had to. He went on to share a flat with a few other guys, while training to be a paramedic.
不，这一点都不常见。
我读过不少关于美国父母让孩子成年后支付房租的故事，但我从未在欧洲听说过。
我在德国长大，我有一个朋友，那里的父母明确表示，他们希望他完成学业后搬出去。无论如何，我的大多数朋友都这样做了，但他是唯一一个不得不这样做的人。他在接受护理人员培训时，与其他几个人合租了一套公寓。
As for Myself, my parents would have loved for me to stay but I moved about 4 hours away to study, then went to the UK to study some more, met my future wife and settled half-way in the Netherlands.
High school ended 16 years ago, none of my friends live at home anymore, and all have a good relationship with their parents. Including the guy who had to move out at 19.
我在学校的大多数朋友，都只是在另一个城市上大学，所以他们无论如何都不得不搬家，通常也会陷入住某种公寓的境地。一些在同一个城市学习的人住在父母家，其他人则搬了出去。这完全取决于他们自己。
至于我自己，我的父母很希望我留下来，但我搬到了大约4个小时外的地方学习，然后去了英国学习，遇到了我未来的妻子，并在荷兰定居了半生。
高中生涯一般在16岁的时候结束，我的朋友都不再住在家里了，他们都和父母关系很好。包括那个19岁就不得不搬出去的家伙。
No, it’s not. In fact most parents seem to end up with their kids still living with them well into their late 20s. They are still at school or in further education till age 18. Those who go on to university may go away from home but come back for vacations, and may well return at the end because well-paid jobs can be hard to come by and it is cheaper to live with your parents if they will let you, which most will. So they tend to stay until they get a job which pays well enough to be able to afford to rent somewhere decent, or until they get together with someone they want to live with and can pool their resources. In my experience parents very seldom make their children leave, the children leave of their own accord when it is right for them to do so. Parents are usually heavily invested in the success of their children and want to help them. My brother lived with my parents until he was 26. I left at 19 to go to university and then lived away because I worked in London which was far too far from my parents’ house for me to stay there. Then I got married aged 24.
不，不是。事实上，大多数父母似乎最终都会让孩子在20多岁的时候仍然和他们住在一起。他们在18岁之前仍在上学或继续接受教育。那些上大学的人可能会离开家，但会回来度假，最后很可能会回来，因为很难找到高薪的工作，而且如果你的父母允许，你和他们住在一起会更便宜，大多数人都会这样做。因此，他们倾向于留下来，直到找到一份薪水足够高的工作，能够租得起像样的房子，或者直到他们和一个想和他们一起生活的人聚在一起，并能够集中他们的资源。根据我的经验，父母很少让孩子离开，孩子们会在合适的时候自愿离开。父母通常会为孩子的成功投入大量资金，并希望帮助他们。我哥哥26岁之前一直和我父母住在一起。我19岁离开去上大学，然后住在外面，因为我在伦敦工作，那里离我父母家太远了，我无法住在那里。然后我在24岁时结婚了。
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I left home at 20 in 1982, and this was quite normal in Sweden at the time. Some moved at 16 and others later.
In Spain, Italy and Greece, the economic crisis has led to that children stay at home until 35 nowadays, because they can not find jobs.
在1982年，我20岁就离开了家，这在当时的瑞典很正常。有些人在16岁时离开家，有些人在此之后。
在西班牙、意大利和希腊，经济危机导致孩子们在家待到35岁，因为他们找不到工作。
US answer: No, not at all. But it’s very common for the child to want to move out, once they finish high school, which is generally when they’re 18, plus a few months depending on their birthday.
If the child is going away to college, they’ll usually live in a dorm run by the college or a shared apartment with a few other young adults. They pay for it with a combination of money from parents, if applicable, earnings from their own part time and/or summer job, and a combination of grants and loans, with amounts based on the parents’ income.
美国的回答是：不，一点也不。但是，一旦孩子完成高中学业，通常是在他们18岁的时候，或者过了18岁生日的几个月后，他们想搬出去是很常见的。
如果孩子要去上大学，他们通常会住在大学管理的宿舍里，或者和其他几个年轻人合租公寓。他们用父母的钱（如果可以）、自己兼职和/或暑期工作的收入，以及赠款和贷款的组合支付生活费用，父母提供的金额基于父母的收入。
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如果孩子没有上大学，他们会找到一份工作，并可能与朋友同住一个地方。由于他们是全职工作，他们不需要定期的经济帮助，但他们可能会在最初的费用方面得到帮助，比如保证金和建立公寓的费用。很大程度上取决于父母能负担得起什么。大多数成年儿童会拒绝父母支付房租，但在他们站稳脚跟之前，他们不会犹豫一些慷慨的乔迁礼物，以及偶尔的免费用餐。
Some people do stay home a few extra years. It’s a disciplined choice to make, because you can save money, but usually adults want to experience life separately from their parents to define who they are and develop life skills. It’s often not possible to stay home anyway. I chose a college that was 3,000 miles (about 5,000 km) away from my parents’ home. The commute wouldn’t have been possible!
有一些中间地带，比如社区大学，这是两年制的，通常是当地的，所以孩子可能会住在家里，尽管他们是成年人，这是为了省钱。还有一些人上的是贸易学校，这样的学校学习期更短。
有些人确实会在家多呆几年。这是一个有纪律的选择，因为你可以省钱，但通常成年人希望与父母分开体验生活，以定义自己并发展生活技能。无论如何，呆在家里通常是不可能的。我选择了一所距离父母家3000英里（约5000公里）的大学。经常往返是不可能的！
Perfectly true, I kicked all three of my kids out when they reached 18.
They were all back by the next morning, one before midnight as he got carded and couldn't get into a nightclub.
The eldest hung around until he was 31!
完全正确，当我的三个孩子年满18岁时，我把他们都踢了出去。
第二天早上，他们都回来了。有一个在午夜之前就回来了，因为他没有带身份证，无法进入夜总会。
老大一直呆到31岁！
No, my parents didn’t kick me out when I turned 18. In fact, they really wanted to help me pay for college. I did accept $500. The rest I earned, borrowed, paid back. Was self supporting when I was 19.
不，我18岁的时候，父母没有把我踢出去。事实上，他们真的想帮我支付大学学费。我确实接受了500美元。剩下的我自己去赚，去借，然后还了。我19岁的时候是靠自己养活自己的。
No, but you have the option to do it as they are considered adults and you no longer have an obligation to support them. Well, unless they are studying. Then you have to support them until they turn 21. At least in Sweden.
不，但你可以选择这样做，因为他们被视为成年人，你不再有义务支持他们。好吧，除非他们在学习。然后你必须支持他们，直到他们年满21岁。至少在瑞典是这样。
No, it’s not true. It really differs depending on the family and the youngster’s plans.
My oldest left at 18 to attend college, and came home to visit but never really lived with us again.
My second moved out at 19, rented a room down the street to be on his own, and has been ever since. My daughter moved in and out, left for good at about 17, but lives nearby and comes to visit.
My third son still lives with us, because rents are horrible where we live now. He’s getting married and moving out this year, at 29. He has been a big help mostly since we are getting on in years.
Life these days is complex, and many kids aren’t ready to be on their own at 18.
不，这不是真的。根据家庭和孩子的计划，情况确实有所不同。
我最大的孩子18岁就离开了，去上大学，偶尔回家看望我们，但再也没有真正和我们住在一起。
我的第二个孩子19岁时搬了出去，在街对面租了一个房间独自生活，从那以后一直如此。我女儿搬来搬去，大约17岁就永远离开了，但住在附近，经常来看望我。
我的第三个儿子仍然和我们住在一起，因为我们现在住的地方房租太贵了。他今年29岁就要结婚搬出去了。我们多年来相处得很好，他一直以来给予了我们很大的帮助。
如今的生活很复杂，许多孩子还没有准备好在18岁时独自一人生活。
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No.
It is conventional for about half of all young people to go to university at age 18, and usually to a university which is not in their home town, so requiring them to have accommodation in the university town. When they have finished at university, they will look for jobs anywhere, not just back in their home town.
While at university, most parents keep their room available. But they are regarded by most as having left home. Though both of mine came bacl for a couple of years before finally (we think) leaving.
Those who do not go on to further education are slower to leave home, but many are gone by 21.
不。
按照传统，大约一半的年轻人在18岁时会去上大学，通常上不在家乡的大学，因此要求他们在大学城住宿。当他们大学毕业后，他们会在任何地方找工作，而不仅仅是在家乡。
在大学期间，大多数家长都会留着空房间。但大多数人认为他们已经离开了家。尽管我的两个孩子都回来过几年，最后还是离开（我们认为）了。
那些没有继续接受教育的人离开家的速度较慢，但许多人在21岁时就离开了。
The parents find a nice outlaw biker gang for the son to join, one that has good criminal rackets ongoing. The daughter is typically sold into sexual slavery in a brothel.
父母为儿子找到了一个很好的非法摩托车团伙，这个团伙有很好的犯罪活动。女儿通常在妓院被卖为性奴隶。
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No. But at eighteen they should have the capacity to live independently fairly successfully. If they can’t then then it’s a massively parenting fail
不是。但在十八岁的时候，他们应该有能力相当成功地独立生活。如果他们做不到，那么这就是一个巨大的育儿失败。
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The average age for kids to more or less permanently leave home in the US is like 25 these days, and I believe for males it is trending even higher right now, so I’m going to say no.
如今，美国孩子或多或少永久离家的平均年龄约为25岁，我相信男性的平均年龄现在甚至更高，所以我要说不是这样的。
In the US/Canada, and the UK this is sort of true. However the rates have been decreasing of late because of increase housing costs.
在美国、加拿大和英国，这是事实。然而，由于住房成本的增加，这个比率一直在下降。
Kid and child at the age of 18? You are an adult when you are 18. Parents don't kick them out when they are 18, but I moved out when I was 19. Pretty common in Sweden.
18岁的孩子？当你18岁的时候，你已经是一个成年人了。父母不会在他们18岁时把他们赶出去，但我19岁时就搬出去了。在瑞典这很常见。
Our older son is 23. He’s graduated from college and has been working full time for nearly 9 months. He’s moving out this month to his own place for the first time.
我们的大儿子今年23岁。他大学毕业，已经全职工作将近9个月了。他这个月就要搬到属于他自己的地方去住了，这是第一次。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Not in a Spanish speaking folks homes! We Cubans have a meme: most mothers wean their children off; We Cubans have to forcibly weaned are parents off of us! LOL
在讲西班牙语的人的家里不是如此！我们古巴人有一个梗：大多数母亲会给孩子断奶，而我们古巴人只有在父母离我们而去的时候才会被迫断奶。哈哈。
I believe it used to be much more common to have 18 year olds move out.
Join the military, go to college, get a job…
Now I see many parents being enablers. Buying their kid a car, paying the insurance and giving them a debit card for gas.
I’m not sure why, but it has changed a lot since I was 18.
我认为，在过去，让孩子在18岁搬出去的情况要普遍很多。
参军，上大学，找份工作…
现在，我看到许多父母都是授予者，他们给孩子们买车，给他们支付保险，给他们借记卡让他们加油。
我不知道为什么，但我自从18岁后，生活发生了很大变化。
In the United States the same parents that kick their children out, continue to pay the support of grown ass adults of elections.
Isn’t that crazy.
Parents are supporting, providing welfare, to government employees instead of their own children.
All the teachers and cops received welfare from parents, but never their own children.
在美国，那些把孩子踢出去的父母，却为那些参加选举的成年人提供支持。
这不是很疯狂吗？
父母为政府雇员，而不是自己的孩子提供支持和福利。
所有的老师和警察都得到了父母的福利，但他们自己的孩子却从来没有得到过。