你发现了关于人的哪些真理（二）What truths have you realized about people?
2023-01-16 辽阔天空 5994 0 1 收藏 纠错&举报
What truths have you realized about people?
- 日本网友讨论在中国发现迷之食物 - 鸭头 2023/03/11 12569 16 1
- 你发现了关于人的哪些真理（一） 2023/01/08 4670 7 1
- 研究发现，英国90%以上的人工洗车店非法雇佣工人 2022/12/28 5147 15 1
- 德克萨斯州失踪女孩雅典娜·斯特兰德被发现死亡，送货司机因多项指 2022/12/08 7920 10 1
- 你试过哪些东西，结果发现不适合你？ 2022/11/16 2485 9 1
- 国外QA问答：突然发现我的妻子，曾经是个男人，我该怎么办？ 2022/11/08 16205 53 1
- 网友讨论：中国在发现新矿物后计划进行更多登月任务 2022/10/04 18570 29 1
- 网友讨论：冰原“指纹”的发现证实了格陵兰冰原融化的警告预测 2022/10/01 4853 9 1
What's the saddest truth about poor people?
Edit: Your advice, criticism, or other comments on my families financial situation are not wanted and not relevant to this answer. If that’s all you have to offer, keep it to yourself.
That the habits we develop to survive poverty also keep us poor.
Real life example happening right now:
I have debts that I really should be paying off.
I usually don’t. Not because I can’t afford to, but because until recently, paying off a debt would actually have been poor money management for me.
Let’s say you have a couple thousand dollars worth of debt, and $10 left at the end of the month.
At $10 per month, even with no interest, I’ll have those debts paid off in, oh, around 20 years.
Now, tell me, does it make more sense to put those $10 into paying off a debt that is going to take me 20+ years to pay off — or may never pay off because thanks to interest the debt may keep going up even as I pay it?
Or does it make more sense to put that money into getting some bandaids for the endless boo-boos around here, or getting my kids a treat so they can have one nice thing this month, or getting MYSELF a treat because destressing for a couple hours at the movie theater may be the difference between staying functional and having a mental breakdown this month?
Out of those options, where do you think that money is going?
Okay, fast forward a few years.
Things have improved a bit. I’m in public housing, I have an old junker of a car that’s paid off so I don’t need to worry about car payments. I actually have a decent amount of money left at the end of the month — let’s call it $50.
$50 a month towards those debts will pay them off in under 5 years. Probably even with interest. 5 years of regular payments is going to do good things for my credit, I may be able to get a car loan to get a car that isn’t a junker, or get an apartment that I would have been turned down for before because of shit credit.
But all my instincts and habits from years of being poor are telling me that putting that money towards those debts is a waste, that there are much better things to put that money towards, that why the hell would I just throw money away like that?
Using a short-term strategy for money management is a survival strategy when you are poor enough. But if you can’t re-learn money management practically from scratch to develop middle-term and long-term strategies when you start pulling yourself out of poverty, you will find your short term strategies send you right back INTO poverty pretty damn quick.
upxe: our car died a few months ago. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been putting that $50 towards debt. I should have put it into savings. Then I wouldn’t be about to walk a 3 mile round trip for groceries.
Edit: I’ve gotten so many comments talking about how I shouldn’t have taken on credit card debt if I couldn’t pay it. If you are thinking of making such a comment you have no idea what it is like to be poor.
I have not one cent of credit card debt. I haven’t even had a credit card since before my family became homeless, over 10 years ago.
And no those cable contracts weren’t luxuries. I was working from home as a freelance writer. The internet was a bloody business expense.
I (thank god) never fell prey to loan sharks. I don’t have any past landlords coming after me for rent owed because I was usually lucky enough to have a friend’s couch to crash on when we lost the ability to pay for a place.
If you think credit card debt is the main issue for poor folks you have no fucking clue.
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
How did you break out of the role of being a scapegoat?
I left. That’s it. The scapegoat is the punching bag/toilet of the whole family. When you try to get out of that role by standing up for yourself, they only increase the abuse to force you back in that role. Families that have a scapegoat are not well. They do not deal with their shit like normal people. They dump it on you. That’s often why when the scapegoat leaves, the family implodes from within and they all turn on each other. There is no way you can stick around them and not be the scapegoat.
What are some bitter truths about human nature?
We are doomed to unhappiness because no matter how wonderful life becomes, we will be unsatisfied.
The irony is that such dissatisfaction is the very part of our nature that drives humanity to continue to improve the world.
My trick to overcome this: follow my uncontrolled instinct to struggle to make things better, but simultaneously recognize the beauty of the life I have. Don’t give up striving, but recognize how blessed I am already.
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Have you ever tried to explain narcissistic abuse to your golden child sibling and explain to them what's going on within your family and that you have a narcissistic parent(s)?
I love this question.
My golden child sister actually explained that she was being used as a weapon to hurt the rest of us.She pointed out that another sister was narcissistic. And that malignant narcissist mom has been lying on the entire family all the time.
I didn’t realize any of this at this time and eventually researched and found out so much that I’m NC with my family of origin. Can’t unsee it once I realized what was going on and how deep it is. It was very traumatic.
What is something people need to understand?
Someone asked the richest man in the world, Bill Gates, “Is there anyone richer than you in the world ?”
Bill Gates replied, “Yes, there is a person who is richer than me.”
He then narrated a story.
“It was during the time when I wasn’t rich or famous.
“I was at the New York Airport when I saw a newspaper vendor.
“I wanted to buy one newspaper but found that I didn’t have enough change. So I left the idea of buying and returned it to the vendor.
“I told him of not having the change. The vendor said, ‘I am giving you this for free.’ On his insistence I took the newspaper.
“After 19 years I became famous and known by people. Suddenly I remembered that vendor. I began searching for him and after about 1? months of searching, I found him.
“I asked him, ‘Do you know me?’ He said, ‘Yes, you are Bill Gates.’
“I asked him again, ‘Do you remember once you gave me a newspaper for free?’
“The vendor said, ‘Yes, I remember. I gave you twice.’
“I said, ‘I want to repay the help you had offered me that time. Whatever you want in your life, tell me, I shall fulfill it.’
“I asked, ‘Why?’
“He said, ‘I had helped you when I was a poor newspaper vendor and you are trying to help me now, when you have become the richest man in the world. How can your help match mine ?’
“That day I realized that the newspaper vendor is richer than I am, because he didn’t wait to become rich to help someone.”
People need to understand that the truly rich are those who possess a rich heart rather than lots of money.
It’s really very important to have a rich heart to help others.
P.S. : No, I am not sure if the story is real. the moral of the story is not fake, is it ?
What are some harsh truths about college that people need to realize?
1. STEM field degrees and a few others like business accounting, instead of studying in a humanities or social sciences field, generally really do help you to get a good job right after graduation and get started on a money-making career.
2. Going to an expensive private school will not necessarily be worth the 4-5 times more in tuition that you'll have to pay.
3. Doing two years of community college then transferring to a university will save you or your parents about $10,000 at a minimum in college costs.
4. It's easier to get into the school of your choice as a transfer student rather than playing the Freshman admissions competition game. The exception to this are Ivy League, Stanford, MIT, Caltech and similar schools which have a very low attrition rate. For competitive public schools (like University of Virginia), however, being a transfer student will greatly increase your chances at admission.
6. You'll find that your post-graduation student loan debt is an onerous burden that will affect your quality of life and life-savings. Whatever you can do to avoid taking much debt, such as going to a lower-priced school (like a public school with in-state tuition), community college, working part time, getting a scholarship, etc will save you a lot of grief. I had $25k in loan debt when I graduated and it took me 10 years to pay it off.
7. Expensive private schools will sometimes offer you a great sounding deal that isn't really that great. For example, there is a private university in my area that costs $56,000 a year in full tuition. However, that school will often tell applicants who say that they can't afford it that they'll waive 25-50% of the tuition costs. That may sound like a great deal, but they'll still be paying over $25,000 in tuition which is double most public universities and will still, therefore, end up with a $100,000 student loan debt.
9. Professors will give you better grades based on your attendance. You'll notice that many of your classmates will often skip class. Don't do it. The instructors do take notice on who attends and who skips and will give you as much as one grade higher just based on that, or will try to cut you a break if you don't do well on an exam. Even if you pull an all-nighter on a paper, still get up and get to class and stay awake. If you can't avoid missing a class, email or visit the professor afterwards and explain your absence and ask what you missed. This shows you care and the professor will notice. Also, try to not to dress too sloppily.
10. The friendships that you make in college may pay big networking dividends later in your career. You should participate in student activities and consider joining a fraternity or sorority.
Warning — Story contains sexual abuse and harrasment
A new boy joined my coaching; he was tall, dusky, had spectacles, and more notably a ingenious.
As soon as he joined, he was friends with almost everyone despite being the only guy from a different school, on the contrary i was still struggling to get along with my batchmates who were my classmates too.
You know what made him the Apple eye of those arrogant kids — DSLR.
I used to go to coaching, bear that maths teacher for 1 hour and come back to my place all alone while they went for partying and photoshoot.
It was a fair deal, he wasn't sidelined by ‘ruling kids’
One day after class, he was throwing party; I don't remember why, maybe because he topped class test and he insisted me to come along with others and there we exchanged few words, moreover he appreciated my ‘unconventional behaviour’.
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Poor guy started having differences with his selfish friends and we kind of bonded well, he knew they used him. During that time, someone broke the big-breaking news that i fucked this guy in chidhood.
Some guys spread this like fire in coaching and then in school, without giving the second thought that he was sexually molested, he was the victim, it wasn't his fault.
It was over for him, he stopped coming to coaching and i still heard giggles over this. He was friends with me so people in school came to me asking if that was true and i did my best to cover up.
I met him shortly after all this happened and made him understand that it's just nothing, keep your head high and face these bastards, I'm with you.
And that's how we become brothers from friends. I would go to his place for lunches, he would bunk his school and spent all day at my place.
We always climbed up steadily after getting dark to avoid getting noticed by others, and the town looked like a heaven from the top of the tank, feeling of life and death — one wrong step and you're dead, soothing feeling of breezy wind, talking about life and friends.
One day after stepping down from our ‘secret place to hangout’ , we were on his way back home in a narrow silent alley and he stopped and said…
Promise me — no matter how far we go in life, this bond will stay the same, let distant not end our friendship.
And after high school we parted ways, i shifted to another place and he called me every Sunday from his hostel, moreover i was the only friend he called.
We met a couple of times and as time passed away we lost contact, today we don't know about each other’s whereabouts.
What i learned from our friendship is that every relationship starts with an expiry date, when the time completes, we don't even realise and the person we ever loved the most is gone long ago.
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处