你发现了关于人的哪些真理（一）
What truths have you realized about people?
译文简介
网友：大多数人都是自私和懦弱的。当面对一件事情的真相时，大多数人都会竭尽全力避免或以一种不会让他们感到内疚的方式来解释它。在这个现代社会，社会认可是人们最重要的东西。它高于一切，这包括事情的真相........
正文翻译
What truths have you realized about people?
你发现了关于人的哪些真理?
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The vast majority of people are morally bankrupt.
If they could get away with it, around 95% of people would lie, cheat or steal when the amount at stake becomes material to them.
And what’s at stake doesn’t have to be money related - it could be sexual gain, by having an affair, for example.
I first noticed how morally bankrupt humankind is from my days in property development. Here, contractors can often get away with it and the amounts are substantial - and so everyone cheats when they can.
I’ve also seen it in other aspects of life, such as how everyone lies after causing a car accident where there are no witnesses, and how few people pay personal loans back to friends.
When the amounts are small, people are often honest. But most people have their price…
绝大多数人在道德上沦丧了。
如果他们可以不受惩罚，大约95%的人会在事关重大的金额上撒谎、欺骗或偷窃.
而且，利害关系并不一定与金钱有关——它可能是性利益，例如，通过出轨。
从我从事房地产开发的日子开始，我第一次注意到人类在道德上是何等沦丧。在这里，承包商通常可以逃脱惩罚，而且金额很大——所以每个人都可以在可能的时候作弊。
我也在生活的其他方面看到了这一点，比如在没有目击者的情况下，每个人都在车祸后撒谎，很少有人向朋友偿还个人贷款。
当数额很小时，人们通常是诚实的。但大多数人都有自己的价格。
Most people are self-absorbed and cowardly.
When facing the truth of a matter, most will go to incredible lengths to avoid it or interpret it in a way that doesn’t make them feel guilty.
In this modern age, social acceptance is the single most important thing for people to have. It comes before everything, and that includes the truth of matters.
Chances are, you’ve read quite a few sob stories on social media. Most of them are expressed in a way that seems like the writer is the ‘victim’ of their circumstances. Their sorry state has nothing to do with their choices. It’s all a matter of unlucky misfortune. This is a common everyday example of emotional manipulation.
We’re all trying to sell ourselves the best we can. We put on a facade in public, doing whatever we can to give off a good impression…
大多数人都是自私和懦弱的。
当面对一件事情的真相时，大多数人都会竭尽全力避免或以一种不会让他们感到内疚的方式来解释它。
在这个现代社会，社会认可是人们最重要的东西。它高于一切，这包括事情的真相。
很有可能，你在社交媒体上读过不少催人泪下的故事。他们中的大多数人表达的方式似乎是作者是他们所处环境的“受害者”。他们可悲的状态与他们的选择无关。这全是不幸的不幸。这是情绪操纵的一个常见的日常例子。
Envy is one of our greatest drives. We see people who are seemingly happy in public and judge them solely on how they appear during those moments.
Feelings of superiority is another one. Love of competition is one of the most basic parts of our psyche. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to advance as a species.
The classic Lord of the Flies depicts reality on a fictional Island. Without adult guidance, children don’t develop a sense of morality*.
*Of course, many adults aren’t moral themselves.
我们都在尽力推销自己。我们在公共场合装腔作势，想尽一切办法给人留下好印象。
我们被原始的冲动所驱使，这种冲动不符合理性或任何道德。如果有机会做一些十恶不赦的事情，如果这对他们有某种好处的话，大多数人都会毫不犹豫地去做。
嫉妒是我们最大的驱动力之一。我们看到一些人在公共场合看起来很快乐，我们只根据他们在这些时刻的表现来评判他们。
优越感是另一种驱动力。热爱竞争是我们心理最基本的部分之一。没有它，我们作为一个物种就无法进步。
经典的《蝇王》描绘了一个虚构岛屿上的现实。没有成年人的指导，孩子们不会培养道德感。
当然，许多成年人自己并不讲道德。
We find ourselves in a certain situation and convince ourselves this is what it has to be.
This is life. I can’t change this.
Never, ever believe you have to live with anything you don’t want to.
Things can always get better - even when they are good.
Identify what you should not have to be OK with, and devise small steps to get out.
Do something that inches you closer to your escape every day.
There is no limit to how much better things can get.
You just have to work at it.
我们发现自己在某种情况下，并说服自己这是必须的。
这就是生活，我无法改变这一点。
永远，永远不要相信你必须忍受你不想要的生活。
事情总是会变得更好——即使是在好的时候。
找出你不应该接受的事情，并设计一些小步骤来摆脱。
每天做一些让你离逃避更近的事情。
事情会变得越来越好，这是没有限制的。
你只需要努力。
That everyone wants their story heard. That people are self-obsessed. And nobody's got time for your bullshit.
The more I talk to people the more I realised. People don't want to know about others and they don't care. Narcissism is so deeply engrained in our psychs that we don't care about the other person’s side of the story. It's all about feeding our own egos. We can talk incessantly about our life struggles, goals, love interests, things we’re passionate about etc.
And all one has to do is listen.
People are so vain that even if you show a bit of interests in their life history, ask them engaging questions about their passions,shortcomings,ambition etc. and seem genuinely interested, they'll develop an instant liking for you. Since you're doing nothing but feeding their ego and in the process helping them confirm their inflated amour-propre.
Which is why I also believe that to become a good conversationalist all one needs to be is a good listener. Thus by lending an ear all you're doing is helping someone vent out. And you'd be surprised at just what people might reveal to you once they believe you to be an affable person. This isn't restricted to a particular society or group of people either. It's ubiquitous in almost all age groups and social classes.
People require attention. They long for it.
每个人都想听到自己的故事。人们都自恋，没人有时间听你胡扯。
我和人们交谈得越多，我就越意识到。人们不想知道别人的事，也不在乎。自恋在我们的心理中是如此根深蒂固，以至于我们不关心别人的看法。这都是为了满足我们的自我。我们可以不停地谈论我们生活中的难事、目标、爱情兴趣、我们热爱的事情等等。
所有人要做的就是倾听。
人们是如此的虚荣，即使你对他们的生活史表现出一点兴趣，问他们关于他们的激情、缺点、野心等有趣的问题，并且看起来很有兴趣，他们也会立刻对你产生好感。因为你什么都没有做，只是在满足他们的自我，并在这个过程中帮助他们确认他们膨胀的自尊心。
这就是为什么我也相信，要成为一个好的健谈者，所有人都需要成为一名好的倾听者。因此，通过倾听，你所做的就是帮助某人发泄。一旦人们相信你是一个和蔼可亲的人，你会惊讶于他们会向你透露什么。这也不限于特定的社会或人群。它在几乎所有年龄组和社会阶层都普遍存在。
人们需要关注，他们渴望它。
People are just trying their best.
Everyone is simply trying to live their life being happy, excited and fulfilling their life the best way they know how.
They make mistakes, worry, feel fear, anger and sadness, all in the pursuit of living a better life.
In this journey they fail, they will hurt those around them, they will make mistakes and they will not always do what is right or do what’s best.
But they are trying!
When someone hurts you, or when someone goes back on their word, when someone is not as nice as you expected them to be or makes a mistake they are just doing their best.
Now, this is not an excuse for their actions, but it will at least get you to see them on a deeper level.
Know that given the same life with the same experiences, you would have done the exact same thing.
We always like to believe we know better, but that is only because we lived a different life so we have different experiences.
If we really were in someone else’s shoes, we would do the exact same thing 100% of the time.
人们只是在尽力。
每个人都只是想以自己所知道的最好的方式，快乐、兴奋、充实自己的生活。
他们犯错误、担心、感到恐惧、愤怒和悲伤，都是为了追求更好的生活。
在这段旅程中，他们会失败，他们会伤害周围的人，他们会犯错误，他们不会总是做正确的事或做最好的事。
但他们正在努力！
当有人伤害你，或者有人食言，当某人没有你期望的那么好，或者犯了错误，他们只是在尽力。
现在，这并不是他们行动的借口，但它至少能让你更深入地了解他们。
要知道，如果有同样的生活和同样的经历，你会做同样的事情。
我们总是喜欢相信自己知道得更好，但这只是因为我们过着不同的生活，所以我们有不同的经历。
如果我们真的站在别人的立场上，我们会100%地做同样的事情。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
No one is acting to hurt you or fight you…
They are all acting to help themselves.
Just like you, they worry, feel fear, anger and sadness and will try to combat it all to live the best life they can live.
If that means they hurt you at times or cannot always look out for you, then that is a consequence they are willing to pay, because, to them, you are only an extra in their film.
They play the leading role, while you only have a few minutes of screen time every day.
It’s not about you, it’s about them.
So when someone is making a mistake again in the future, when someone fails or hurts you unintentionally, understand that they tried their best given their situation.
We are all living in this world, trying our best to make our lives meaningful, and that is difficult enough already.
We shouldn’t fight each other on top of it all. Instead, let’s understand and support each other so that we all can live the best life we possibly can.
你要明白，没有人会伤害你
没有人会伤害你或与你对抗……
他们都是为了帮助自己。
就像你一样，他们担心、感到恐惧、愤怒和悲伤，并会努力克服这一切，以过上最好的生活。
如果这意味着他们有时会伤害你，或者不能一直照顾你，那么这就是他们愿意付出的后果，因为对他们来说，你只是他们电影里的临时演员。
他们扮演主角，而你每天只有几分钟的屏幕时间。
这不是关于你，而是关于他们。
所以，当有人在未来再次犯错时，当某人失败或无意中伤害了你时，要明白他们已经尽力了。
我们都生活在这个世界上，尽力让我们的生活变得有意义，这已经足够困难了。
我们不应该在这一切之上互相争斗。相反，让我们相互理解和支持，这样我们都能过上最好的生活。
We tend to keep to ourselves.
There was an incident on the 7 train a couple of months ago. I was sitting comfortably in my seat, ready to enjoy a peaceful ride home. My eyes were just about closed when I heard voices. Loud. Angry. Impossible to ignore.
Using my ninja hearing skills, I located two tall men near the subway doors.
One man was huffing and puffing as he stared down the other (which I thought nigh impossible at the time since both were of similar build). Apparently an altercation had taken place and one man pressed fast forward on the moment of silence. He started to gesture wildly and yell obscenities again.
I still remember averting my gaze and fixing a blank look. The people around me did the same: some put their heads down, some turned their heads the other way, and others covered their faces. The length of the train car was quiet. The woman sitting across from me looked as if she wanted to step in but kept to herself in the end.
There is a certain amount of anxiety and fear of speaking out or standing up for what’s right in everyone.
我们倾向于独来独往。
几个月前，7号列车发生了一起事故。我舒舒服服地坐在座位上，准备享受一次平静的回家之旅。当我听到声音时，我刚要闭上眼睛，就听到了说话声。大声、生气、无法忽视。
利用我的忍者般听觉技巧，我在地铁门附近找到了两个高个子男人。
一个人盯着另一个人，气喘吁吁(当时我认为这几乎是不可能的，因为两个人的身材差不多)。显然发生了口角，一名男子在沉默的瞬间迅速上前。他开始疯狂地做手势，并再次大喊脏话。
我仍然记得我转移视线，呆呆地看着他。我周围的人也这样做：有些人低着头，有些人把头转向另一个方向，有些人捂着脸。 火车车厢很安静。坐在我对面的女人看起来好像想要插手，但最后还是没说话。
每个人都因为要说出或站出来为正确的事情辩护有一定程度的焦虑和恐惧。
A simple yet a complicated realisation.
I have realized that not everyone has a happy married life. They sure are married, they have jobs, they have lovely houses, they have children. But, there is no love.
I have realized there are some people who marry just because they should or they are asked to, not because they love each other.
I have realized, not everyone understands the importance of a married person becoming a husband/wife first, and then becoming a mom/dad.
I have realized some people consummate their marriage just because they are allowed to have sex now. Not because they love each other.
I have realized some people have children not because they feel they are ready to welcome a new member to their family but because its time to have kids at certain age, only to follow their FUTURE PLAN calender. It is more of an efficient, well planned financial budget and has nothing to with emotions.
I have realized that not all children are the fruits of happy marriages.
I have realized not all kids get to see a good example of happy marriage.
And I have realized some people don't really see an issue here because they are used to this way of life. And for them, as long as there is no one screaming out in agony, nothing seems wrong. In some cases, no matter what happens, these things are never wrong. And they say,
“Your forefathers lived that way, we lived that way, you should too”.
一个简单但复杂的认识。
我意识到并不是每个人都有幸福的婚姻生活。他们确实结婚了，他们有工作，他们有漂亮的房子，他们有孩子。但是，没有爱。
我意识到有些人结婚仅仅是因为他们应该结婚或者是被要求结婚，而不是因为他们彼此相爱。
我意识到，不是每个人都明白已婚人士首先成为丈夫/妻子，然后成为母亲/父亲的重要性。
我意识到有些人仅仅因为他们现在被允许有性生活就完成了他们的婚姻。不是因为他们彼此相爱。
我意识到有些人要孩子不是因为他们觉得他们已经准备好迎接家庭的新成员，而是因为到了一定年龄是时候要孩子了，只是为了遵循他们未来的计划日历。它更多的是一种高效的、计划良好的财务预算，与情绪无关。
我意识到，并不是所有的孩子都是幸福婚姻的果实。
我意识到并不是所有的孩子都能看做一个幸福婚姻的好例子。
我意识到，有些人并没有真正看到这里的问题，因为他们习惯了这种生活方式。对他们来说，只要没有人在痛苦中尖叫，似乎没有什么错。在某些情况下，无论发生什么，这些事情都不会出错。他们说，
“你的祖先是这样生活的，我们也是这样生活的。”。
1.We want to be distracted from reality.
We don’t want time on our hands to think about the meaning of life, death, or what’s truly going on in the world. It’s too hard. Facebook, Twitter, news, politics, pop psych b.s., racism, gay not gay stuff, are all topics to take our minds away from the truth - we are only a mist, living here for a short time.
We want to fill our heads with crap because we simply don’t have the guts to view reality.
2.Ancients would die for honor. Modernity could care less about honor or morality. We do what “feels good”. Quick example - duels. You know, I challenge you to a duel and I kill you or you kill me because you offended my honor (morals).
We don’t have morals today - unless you take a quote from the movie Fight Club “the only rule is there are no rules”.
Those are two I thought of off the top of my head. There are more but I think these are two of the more important ones.
1.我们想从现实中转移开注意力。
我们不想有时间去思考生、死的意义，或者思考世界上真正发生的事情。这太难了。脸书、推特、新闻、政治、流行心理学、种族主义、同性恋而非同性恋的东西，都是让我们远离真相的话题——我们只是一团迷雾，在这里生活了很短一段时间。
我们想用废话填满我们的脑袋，因为我们根本没有勇气去看待现实。
2.古人会为荣誉而死。现代可能不太在乎荣誉或道德。我们做“感觉良好”的事。举个简单的例子——决斗。你知道，我向你挑战决斗，我杀了你，或者你杀了我，因为你冒犯了我的荣誉(道德)。
我们今天没有道德，除非你引用电影《搏击俱乐部》中的一句话“唯一的规则是没有规则”。
这是我脑子里突然想到的两条。还有更多，但我认为这是其中两条更重要的。
We should be our own parents for our inner child. (No one will come to rescue us)
People will ghost you at any time. (Waiting for that long term relationship to turn into marriage then keep waiting)
Parents will only support you to an extent. (Ever dropped out of college or sat home jobless figuring out your future)
You will only be respected by the way your parents treat you. (Once people sense the way your parents treat you, they will show their true colors within seconds)
You will see more people whenever you achieve a small success. (People wouldn’t care if you disappear, but your success will remind them everything)
People will assume certain things themselves and ask you for an explanation. (Let them have their own shitty opinions, just don’t care)
If you are a failure, even your sibling will feel ashamed to say they are your sibling. (Yes this happens!)
You are good until you do all the things which are the norm to society. (Stay unmarried after 25 and be ready to get bashed as if it’s their right to do)
Manipulators will have more friends than you. (They know how and when to use their sugar-coated words to divide and conquer and to rule between people)
If you are not good at communication, people will use you easily for their situations. (Ever wanted to speak the truth, but that hesitation and body language didn’t support you)
我们应该做我们内心的孩子的父母。(没有人会来拯救我们)
人们随时会把你藏起来。（等待这段长期的关系转变为婚姻，然后继续等待）
父母只会在一定程度上支持你。（曾经从大学退学或失业在家，为自己的未来做打算）
只有父母才会尊重你的方式对待你。（一旦人们察觉到你父母对待你的方式，他们会在几秒钟内露出真面目）
每当你取得一点小小的成功，你就会看到更多的人。（人们不会在意你是否消失，但你的成功会提醒他们一切）
人们会自己假设某些事情，并要求你做出解释。（让他们有他们自己的观点，不要去在意）
如果你是一个失败者，即使你的兄弟姐妹也会羞于说他们是你的兄弟姐妹。（是的，这会发生！）
在你做了所有社会规范的事情之前，你是好的。（25岁以后还没结婚，准备好被痛打，就好像这是他们的权利一样）
操控者的朋友比你多。（他们知道如何以及何时使用他们的甜言蜜语在人们之间进行分裂、征服和统治）
如果你不善于沟通，人们会很容易地利用你。(曾经想说真话，但犹豫和肢体语言没有支持你）
What are some things you realized when you got mature?
Women can forgive physical cheating, but not an emotional one. On the contrary, men can forgive emotional cheating, but not a physical one.
Women don’t like to be compared to older women. Men take pride when compared to older men.
Your level of happiness/sadness depends on the biochemistry happening inside your body.
If you are a sensitive person and you feel the need to ask your crush if she likes you, most of the chances are that she doesn’t.
You should get your heart broken once or more. You will get to know who you are and what do you want in a life partner.
If you give your 100% before a commitment, mostly you will end up making the other person emotionally lazy.
When you have a crush on someone, the last thing you will care about is the reality.
A person can only evolve himself, but change. Change is reversible and temporary, evolution is not.
People are always capable of falling in love again.
Past doesn’t matter. Habits do.
当你变得成熟时，你意识到了什么?
女人可以原谅出，但不能原谅精神出。相反，男人可以原谅精神出轨，但不能原谅身体出轨。
女人不喜欢与年长的女人相比。与年长的男人相比，男人会感到骄傲。
你的快乐/悲伤程度取决于体内发生的生化反应。
如果你是一个敏感的人，你觉得有必要问你喜欢的人她是否喜欢你，大多数情况下她不喜欢你。
你应该心碎一次或多次。你会知道你是谁，你想要什么样的生活伴侣。
如果你在承诺之前付出了100%的努力，大多数情况下你会让对方在情感上变得懒惰。
当你爱上某人时，你最不在乎的就是现实。
一个人只能进化自己，而不能改变自己。变化是可逆和暂时的，进化不是。
人们总是能够再次坠入爱河。
过去并不重要。习惯确很重要。
The people who love you the most will make you cry, at some point of life.
The person who made you feel that you are living in heaven, will make you feel like you are stranded on an island - with no help.
Promises made by loved ones will vanish into thin air.
Castles built in imagination and moulded with love - will be shattered into thousand pieces.
No one will be there for us - I mean no one - not even parents.
Life is a battle and we are born here to fight against all odds single handedly.
No one will help or no one can really help us.
We have to fight our own demons and rise against all odds.
Even God will never help when we are in need. What helps is our perseverance, determination, willpower and hardwork.
People act, everyone acts, even loved ones - They unknowingly break our heart.
All these sort of disappointments give emotional pain and it really hurts…..
But, what keeps us going - our willpower and willingness to lead the life.
One can sit down and cry because of all these, but there are people who are begging God to add at least few days to their life span.
We should understand the value of each moment, each second in our life.
Every moment is special. Ups and downs are common and it doesn't mean that world stops revolving.
With confidence and strong willpower, we can achieve anything in life.
Every problem has a solution and everything is solvable.
Always remember - This too shall pass and good days are not far away.
We can mould our future with positivity and fill it with happiness.
最爱你的人会让你在人生的某个时刻哭泣。
那个让你觉得自己生活在天堂的人，会让你感觉自己被困在一个孤岛上——得不到帮助。
所爱之人所许下的承诺将化为乌有。
在想象中建造的城堡，用爱塑造的城堡，将被粉碎成一千块。
没有人会支持我们—我是说没有人—甚至父母也不会。
生活是一场战斗，我们生来就是要单枪匹马地与各种困难作斗争。
没有人会帮助或没有人能真正帮助我们。
我们必须战胜自己的恶魔，战胜一切困难。
当我们需要的时候，即使上帝也不会帮助我们。帮助我们的是我们的毅力、决心、意志力和努力。
人们在行动，每个人都在行动，甚至是所爱的人—他们不知不觉地伤透了我们的心。
所有这些失望都会带来情感上的痛苦，这真的很痛苦。
但是，让我们继续前进的是我们的意志力和主导生活的意愿。
一个人可以坐下来为这一切哭泣，但是有些人恳求上帝至少延长几天他们的寿命。
我们应该理解生命中每一刻、每一秒的价值。
每一刻都是特别的。起起落落很常见，但这并不意味着世界停止转动。
有了信心和坚强的意志力，我们可以在生活中取得任何成就。
每个问题都有解决方案，一切都是可以解决的。
永远记住——这也会过去，美好的日子不远了。
我们可以用积极的态度塑造我们的未来，让它充满幸福。