Our birthday comes around once a year. Our birthday, that one day usually reminding us of another year gone by. Not all of us are keen on celebrating this so-called ‘special day‘.

我们的生日一年只有一次。我们的生日那一天通常提醒我们又过去了一年。并不是所有人都热衷于庆祝这个所谓的“特别的日子”。


I’m one of these people. Never have been keen on celebrating my birthday. Every year I try to keep this day as quiet as possible, going about the day as per normal and sort of forgetting that it’s my birthday.

我就是其中之一。我从来都不喜欢庆祝我的生日，每年我都尽量让这一天过得安静些，像往常一样过这一天，几乎忘了这一天是我的生日。

It’s not that I have anything against celebrating birthdays. Last year I wrote a post on 7 Unforgettable Ways To Celebrate Your Birthday. I’m all up for celebrating other’s birthdays. Just not mine.

这并不是说我反对庆祝生日。去年我写了一篇关于庆祝生日的7种令人难忘的方式的文章。我完全赞成为别人的生日庆祝，但不是我的。

A birthday is significant in that it symbolises life: it signifies the day we came to life and became a part of this world. It signifies another year of ups and downs behind us. It’s about celebrating being human, a milestone which some of us are inclined to celebrate. However, some of us have our reasons for keeping our birthday a low-key affair – some reasons personal, some reasons tied to our personality, and some reasons down to what we believe in.

生日的意义在于它象征着生命：它标志着我们来到这个世界中并成为这个世界的一部分的日子。它意味着我们又经历了跌宕起伏的一年。这是成为人类的一个里程碑，我们中的一些人倾向于庆祝。然而，我们中的一些人有自己的理由低调过生日--有些是个人原因，有些与我们的个性有关，还有一些则与我们的信仰有关。

Reasons to not celebrate birthdays

不庆祝生日的理由

1. We don’t want a fuss

1. 我们不想小题大做

Birthdays can be a time where the spotlight is on us. Some of us simply don’t like attention on us. We might be shy. We might have anxiety and birthday surprises might not sit well with us. We could be introverted and birthday attention from a big group might heighten our socialising phobia.

生日是我们最受关注的时刻。但有些人就是不喜欢别人关注自己。我们可能会害羞。我们可能会焦虑，生日惊喜可能会让我们感到不舒服。我们可能性格内向，生日时一大群人的关注可能会加剧我们的社交恐惧症。

Birthday blues or birthday anxiety disorder can be a very real thing. According to psychologist Debra Kissen, anytime that you are supposed to be happy can be a setup for disappointment; birthdays can be setups for anxiety as there is the pressure to have a memorable birthday in this comparative world.

生日忧郁或生日焦虑可能是非常真实的事情。根据心理学家黛布拉.基森的说法，任何你应该高兴的时候都可能是失望的开始;而生日也可能是焦虑的开始，因为在这个相互比较的世界里，要过一个难忘的生日是有压力的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


As someone with anxiety, birthday surprises don’t make me feel good. Even a I-know-planned-before-hand birthday celebration makes me jittery. The worst is when people sing Happy Birthday to me – these situations I don’t know what to do and feel too embarrassed to smile down at a candle-lit cake. Over the years I’ve gotten better at hanging out with close friends for a meal or catch-up around my birthday; they’d most definitely say, ‘Happy Birthday’ and I go along with it.

作为一个有焦虑症的人，生日的惊喜不会让我感觉很舒服。即使是事先知道的生日庆祝也会让我紧张不安。最糟糕的是当人们给我唱生日歌的时候——这种情况下我不知道该做什么，也不好意思对着烛光蛋糕微笑。这些年来，我越来越擅长在生日那天和亲密的朋友出去吃饭或小聚;他们肯定会说，“生日快乐”，我会顺其自然。

2. Comparative competition

2. 生日庆祝活动的比较

Following on from the first point, there often is the pressure to make a birthday a fun one. In general, society sees birthdays as good times, a time where we do what we want and get what we want. Have a good celebration one year, there could be the expectation to have an equally enjoyable or lavish one the following year – and all birthday hype can leave one disappointed if birthday plans don’t go according to plan or no one shows up if anyone was invited.

继第一点，我们通常会有让生日变得更有趣的压力。一般来说，人们将生日视为美好的时光，在这一天里，我们可以做自己想做的事，得到自己想要的东西。如果今年庆祝得很好，可以期待来年有一个同样愉快或奢华的生日庆祝活动——但如果来年的生日庆祝活动没能按原计划进行，或者有人被邀请，但没有出现，所有的生日宣传都会让人失望。

3. Spending money

3. 会花钱

Depending on how we choose to spend our birthday, we might shell out a fair bit for the occasion and feel poorer after that. For instance, we might go all out extravagant and lavish celebrating our birthday: renting a jumping castle, going on a cruise, spending a night at a penthouse suite, going on an all-night pub-hopping bender or all of that. If we have lots of friends, there might be numerous birthday catch-ups and unless our friends pay for our share, this hurts the wallet.

根据我们选择如何度过我们的生日，我们可能会为这个活动掏出相当多的钱，之后会觉得自己变得更穷。例如，我们可能会尽可能奢侈地庆祝我们的生日：租一个跳跃城堡，去坐游轮旅行，在顶层套房里过夜，去酒吧通宵狂欢等等。如果我们有很多朋友，可能会有很多的生日聚会，除非我们的朋友为我们分担一部分，否则这就会伤害我们的钱包。

I’m quite the frugal person and see myself as simple and pretty low maintenance, and don’t like spending unless it’s absolutely necessary. A simple meal out is already a nice treat to me just as hanging out with someone at the shopping mall.

我是一个非常节俭的人，认为自己很简单，相当低调，除非绝对必要，否则我不喜欢花钱。出去吃顿简单的饭对我来说已经是一种很好的享受，就像和别人在购物中心闲逛一样。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


4. Negative experiences

4. 负面经历

For some of us, our past birthdays might have coincided with moments we’d rather forget or a sensitive time. Having a celebratory time let alone putting on a brave face as others sing Happy Birthday to us could be rather inappropriate; sometimes the past hurts too much and is unforgettable. That said, choosing to view birthdays as a positive occasion – another year, still here, much achieved – can be a way of moving on.

对于我们中的一些人来说，过去的生日可能恰逢我们宁愿忘记的时刻或敏感时刻。更不用说在其他人为我们唱生日快乐歌时装出一副勇敢的样子可能是相当别扭的；有时过去太伤人，令人难以忘怀。 也就是说，选择将生日视为一个积极的时刻或许是一种继续前进的方式。又是一年了，我仍然在这里，还取得了很大的成就。

5. This day isn’t just about me

5.今天不只是我一个人的日子

Some things need more attention and are more important than the fact that it is our birthday. This could be showing up for work and keeping our pay check, walking the dog, cooking for the kids or just being there for someone. In other words, the world doesn’t stop or revolve around us all the time, on our birthday inclusive. Some of us might recognise this, and so see our birthdays as a good time to raise awareness for a certain cause, rallying others to join in the good fights to help make the world a better place.

有些事情需要更多的关注，比我们的生日更重要。可以是上班、领工资、遛狗、给孩子做饭，或者只是陪伴在某人身边。换句话说，世界并不总是围着我们转，包括我们的生日在内。我们中的一些人可能会意识到这一点，所以把我们的生日看作是提高对某一事业的认识的好时机，号召其他人加入到美好的战斗中来，帮助世界变得更美好。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


6. It’s just another day

6. 这只是普通的一天

No reason why we can’t celebrate our birthday on any other day. No reason why we can’t celebrate our achievements, milestones, our existence and be thankful for life on any other day. No reason why we can’t have birthday cake any other day.

没有理由我们不能在其他日子庆祝生日。我们没有理由不能在其他任何一天庆祝我们的成就、里程碑、我们的存在，并感激生活。没有理由我们不能在其他日子吃生日蛋糕。

7. More than a celebration

7.有很多比庆祝更重要的事

The important things in life are usually more than a day of one-off celebrations. For those of us who value trust, loyal relationships and meaningful time spent, chances are we’d rather have people who’d be there for us anytime, any day as opposed to half a day of attention from others and not hearing back from them until next year. Sure, all of us lead busy lives and our birthday is probably one of the only times others might be willing to make some time for us – which is nice. But there’s nothing like having others be there for us when we need it.

生活中重要的事情通常不在于某一天的一次性庆祝。对于我们这些重视信任、忠诚的关系和有意义的时间的人来说，很可能我们宁愿有人随时随地都在我们身边，而不是今天被别人关注个半天，直到明年的这一天才会得到他们的下一次关注。当然，我们都过着忙碌的生活，我们的生日可能是别人愿意为我们腾出的唯一时间之一——这当然很好。但当我们需要帮助的时候，没有什么比有人时常在我们身边更好的了。

It’s no surprise then that there can be a sort of unwanted fakery that comes along with celebrating birthdays. These days social media has a habit of ‘reminding’ each other of our birthdays and without this digital reminder we may never wish someone Happy Birthday. And so sometimes one can’t help but feel birthday wishes are insincere.

因此，在庆祝生日的过程中，可能会出现某种不必要的假象，这并不奇怪。社交媒体有一个功能，就是"提醒"对方我们的生日，如果没有这种提醒，我们可能永远不会祝某人生日快乐。因此，有时人们不禁会觉得得到的生日祝福是不真诚的。

* * *
There are also other reasons to not celebrate our birthday, albeit trivial reasons that make us want to avoid the fact our birthday is our birthday. If we openly acknowledge or celebrate our birthday we could get people pestering us how old we are (age is a personal thing), people telling us how young we look (body image is also a personal thing), receiving unwanted presents, having to smile when someone wishes us Happy Birthday in person and we aren’t in a great mood, or just putting up with all day obligatory ‘Happy Birthdays’ online and offline. Consequently, no reason why some of us would rather spend our birthdays alone and not mention it.

还有其他不庆祝生日的原因，尽管是一些微不足道的原因，让我们想要避免这一天就是我们的生日这一事实。如果我们公开承认或庆祝我们的生日，我们可能会让人们纠缠于我们多大了(年龄是私人的事情)，人们会告诉我们我们看起来有多年轻(身体形象也是一个私人的事情)，收到不想要的礼物，当有人亲自祝我们生日快乐而我们心情不好时不得不微笑，或者只是在线上和线下忍受一整天强制性的“生日快乐”。因此，我们中的一些人宁愿独自度过生日，也不去提及它。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


What we do for our birthday or how we think about our birthday can change as we get older or go through different phases in life. At different times of our lives different things will be important to us.

我们为自己的生日所做的事情或我们对生日的看法会随着我们的年龄增长或经历人生的不同阶段而改变。在我们生命的不同时期，对我们来说重要的事情也是不同的。

Research suggests that young children believe birthday parties cause ageing; the more birthday parties one has, the older they seem. Other research shows that the year before milestone birthdays could be the hardest for some, experiencing a ‘crisis of meaning’ – and some might be more prone to extra-marital affairs.

研究表明，年轻的孩子认为生日派对会导致衰老；一个人的生日派对过得越多，他们看起来就越老。其他研究表明，对一些人来说，里程碑式的生日的前一年可能是最困难的，经历了"意义危机"—一些人可能更容易发生婚外情。

Birthdays are almost always occasions where relationships collide. Birthdays come around once a year and it’s not usually easy remembering someone’s birthday. As such, even if we don’t celebrate, birthdays can be a time where we see who will show up or wish us well and figure out who is likely to be there for us when we need it. However, whether someone remembers our birthday or not doesn’t entirely define our relationship with them as a friendship or any kind of relationship is built up over time and countless moments in between.

生日那天几乎总是关系发生碰撞的时刻。生日一年只有一次，记住别人的生日通常不是一件容易的事。因此，即使我们不庆祝生日，我们也可以看到谁会出现在我们面前或祝我们好运，并弄清楚谁可能在我们需要的时候会出现在我们身边。然而，某人是否记得我们的生日并不能完全将我们与他们的关系定义为友谊，任何一种关系都是随着时间的推移和其间无数的相处时刻建立起来的。

That said, it is nice when someone thinks of us on our birthday no matter how much we avoid celebrating or acknowledging it, and thinking of us any other time really. It’s a sign that someone appreciates our existence even for just one day, acknowledging our presence. At the end of the day, most of us want to belong at least for a moment. That’s when we realise who and what we’ve got. On self-realisation, host and Youtuber Chris Burkmenn said:
‘We often lose ourselves to where we think we should be, rather than celebrate where we already are.’

也就是说，不管我们多么想要避免庆祝生日，也不管他们是否会在其他任何时候想起我们，只要有人在我们生日那天想起我们，都是很美好的。这是一个信号，表明有人欣赏我们的存在，即使只有一天欣赏我们的存在。在一天结束的时候，我们大多数人都希望至少有片刻的归属感，那时我们才意识到我们拥有谁和拥有什么。 关于自我实现，主持人兼Youtuber Chris Burkmenn说:“我们常常迷失在我们认为应该在的地方，而不是庆祝我们已经在的地方。”

I really do like a quiet birthday. Being the practical person that I am, no one owes me their time unless they absolutely want to be around me and persist with wanting to be around me – and when that happens I will show them a good time…even on my birthday. Looking at the bigger picture, there’s much to be thankful for every other day, and maybe our birthdays are really a reminder of that.

我真的很喜欢安静的度过生日。作为一个务实的人，没有人欠我时间，除非他们非常想和我在一起并坚持要和我在一起——当这种情况发生时，我会和他们一起度过一个美好的时光……即使是在我生日那天。放眼大局，每隔一天都有很多值得感恩的事情，也许我们的生日真的是对这一点的提醒。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Do you avoid celebrating your birthday?

你会避免庆祝你的生日吗？