那些跟有钱人约会过的穷人，你们得到了什么教训？
Poor people who have dated rich people, what did you learn?
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有钱真好。
正文翻译
Poor people who have dated rich people, what did you learn?
那些跟有钱人约会过的穷人，你们得到了什么教训？
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They don't really have a concept of how rich they are. My ex boyfriend was WEALTHY, but had a complex about how he was super poor. It was because all of his friends were also so wealthy, and he was maybe marginally less rich than some of them, he considered himself on the lower end of the scale. They don't really have a point of reference for how poor some people are. When we were together I was living on a food budget of £50 a month, and he absolutely could not wrap his head around how a person could spend that little.
他们对于自己到底有多有钱根本没有概念。我的前男友就特别有钱，但他一直有一种认为自己穷得要命的心态。这是因为他的所有朋友都一样有钱，而且或许他比其中一些朋友稍微没那么有钱，所以他就觉得自己是底层人了。他们对于有些人究竟有多穷，根本就没有什么参考概念。我们在一起的时候，我一个月的饭钱只有50英镑，他完全没办法想象一个人怎么可能只花这么点儿钱。
我曾经跟一个富得流油的朋友一起生活过，他的家庭在自己的祖国算是贵族。我发现他有一点，就是他完全无法理解如果我不工作，我就吃不到饭这件事。他不明白为什么我要为请一个星期的假担心，也不明白为什么我要为请假挣不到钱而担心。他好像觉得这世上的人们工作只是因为他们选择想要工作而已，因为他自己从来都不曾工作过。
I have a friend like this who is insanely rich. Would always say, “I grew up in the poorest part of Beverly Hills.”
我有个跟他差不多的朋友也是富得可怕。总是说，“我是在比弗利山庄最穷的那一片长大的。”
My ex was having problems with roommates at university. Her parents bought a $300000 condo for her to stay at while she finished her degree (2 years). They sold it for a profit immediately after. I can't imagine not only being able to solve my problems with money, let alone make more off of them. She also assumed her family was lower middle class because she didn't live in a mansion like her friends. She was very humble and was smart with her money, but it was very clear she could just call her parents if something didn't work out. Meanwhile my parents were struggling to pay rent, meaning I was their fallback. Not the other way around
我前任之前上大学的时候跟舍友闹了矛盾。于是她家长给她买了栋30万美元的公寓给她一个人住，直到她读完学位（两年）。然后他们立刻就把房子卖了，还挣了钱。我根本无法想象用金钱就能解决我的问题，更不能想象解决完问题还能再挣一笔钱。她还以为自己的家庭是下层中产阶级，因为她又不像她的朋友们那样住在大宅子里。她非常谦虚，花钱也很精明，但很明显的是如果什么事情出问题了，她可以直接给爸妈打电话。而我的父母还在为了付房租而挣扎，也就是说我是他们的靠山，而不是反过来。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Not a dating story but it was eye opening when I went to Uni in the UK and some of the rich students bought their flats in Edinburgh just for their studies. One of these rich students was an amazingly sweet person and since I couldn't afford to fly home for Christmas she took me with her to her family's compound in Morocco where they literally had servants that followed them around carrying silver platters of tea all day.
虽然不是约会的故事，但我去英国上大学的时候，看见一些有钱的学生直接在爱丁堡买了公寓用来学习，实在眼界大开。其中一个有钱的学生特别温柔，我当时没钱飞回家过圣诞，于是她就带我去了她家人在摩洛哥的建筑群，他们在那里有一群仆人一整天都端着银茶杯跟着他们。
Yeah… I am finding this out quite quickly with the family I’m marrying into. My fiancé always has said that he was upper middle class. His parents drive 10+ old cars, haven’t upxed their home in forever. Will only buy LL Bean on sale. Slowly I realized that wasn’t the case.
没错……我马上要嫁过去的这户人家也差不多。我的未婚夫总是说他是上层中产阶级。他父母有十多辆古董车，从来都没改造过自己的家，打折的时候才会买LLBean（译注：一个户外品牌）。我慢慢才发现，其实并不是这样。
尤其是他们前几天直接送了我们20万美元的时候。我爸是个陆军军官，我妈是个老师，我根本不知道自己在走进怎样的一个世界。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Dated a man who didn't work - lived off of a TrustFund. Oddly, since he could afford nearly anything - nothing had any value. He'd buy a $400 KitchenAid mixer - and burn it up making Christmas candy the first week. If he decided to make more candy - he'd just go buy another $400 mixer. Nothing meant particularly ANYTHING to him.
跟一个不曾工作过的男人约会过——他靠信托基金生活。诡异的是，因为他基本上买什么都买得起，所以什么东西对他而言都没有价值。他可能会买一个400美元的厨房搅拌机，然后第一个星期就因为做圣诞节的糖果给烧坏了。如果他还想接着做，那他就再买一个400美元的搅拌机。没有什么对他来说是真的有什么价值的。
So this. On a Friday night whim my gf decided she wanted some pie. I suggested we go down to the store. She rang her favorite restaurant and had a chef bake her her favorite pie. The cost $170. A pie. Yes, she could afford to do it but the problem was the complete lack of value. Nothing really mattered to her because she had that kind of money.
太对了。周五晚上我女朋友突发奇想，她想吃个派。我说那我们去超市吧。她给自己最喜欢的那家餐厅打了个电话，让总厨给她烤了她最喜欢的那个派。花了170美元。一个派。对，她是花得起这笔钱，但问题在于她对于价值一无所知。没什么事情对她来说是很重要的，因为她就是那么有钱。
The food waste!! I have an uber rich friend and if they want pasta they don’t just order a bowl of takeout pasta. They’ll order three different pasta entrees for variety, a couple of appetizers, tiramisu since we’re already doing the Italian theme, and oh that cannoli looks good let’s get a few of those… On a random Tuesday they’ll get half the menu delivered to their front door. And they don’t even eat the leftovers because the next day they’ll get another feast delivered.
浪费食物！！我有个特别特别有钱的朋友，如果他想吃意面，他可不会点一碗意面外卖就完事了。他会点三份不同的意面换口味，一堆小食，既然已经是意大利风格了那就再来个提拉米苏，哎那个卡诺里看起来不错来两个吧……一个普普通通的星期二，半张菜单的菜就这么送到了他们家门口。而且他们根本都不会吃剩菜，因为等到明天另一顿大餐就又来了。
How much easier it is to make money when you already have money.
当你已经有钱的时候，挣钱是一件多么容易的事情。
I once had a rich coworker find out I was pretty broke. I was working at a very fancy retreat as a student, so was surrounded by rich people working for fun. He told me to "just buy a 3 bedroom house, live in one of the rooms and rent out the other 2."
我曾经有一个特别有钱的同事，他发现我很穷。我在一个特别奢华的度假地当徐图，所以周围都是一群拿工作当乐子的有钱人。他跟我说，“你去买个三卧的房子，一个自己住，剩下两个租出去不就行了。”
买个房子呗。
Yeah, in college a friend and I were taking about not having money and another gal we knew overhead and said “Just ask your parents”. It never occurred to her that everyone didnt have rich parents.
没错，上大学的时候我和朋友正在聊没钱花的事，另一个我们都认识的姑娘路过，说了句“问爸妈要不就好了”。她从来都不知道，并不是每个人都有有钱的父母的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I got that from debt collectors. "Well, do you have anyone you can borrow it from?"
催债的也这么问过我。“那，你有没有人可以让你借一笔？”
傻逼，我只欠你三千，我就是我家最有钱的那个了！
1000% this. I didn't date anyone rich, but I have a relative that's rich, and he's constantly telling us "You just have to put a few bucks into things and see how it goes!"
太对了。我从没约过什么有钱人，但我有个亲戚很有钱，他一直跟我们说“你随便往什么东西里投两个钱儿，看着它涨起来就行了呀！”
他的两个钱儿实际上是，“我看见家附近有个仓库，我把它买下来然后又花了20万装修，现在它已经正常运转起来了，并且一个月能挣8000美元。我还把给我打理草坪的那个人的企业也买下来了，连带着雇员，所以夏天我干正事的时候他们都能给我挣额外的现金……”
That's an insane return on a 200k investment
对于一笔20万的投资来说，这个回报率可真是高的吓人了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
People born into money think they know what it’s like to be middle class or poor (and sometimes even can make it sound convincing) but they honestly aren’t even close to understanding. I’ve lived in three former meth labs as I grew up thinking McDonald’s was treating myself. I worked 40 hours a week at a gas station while taking 21 credit hours at a public university. Now I’m a department lead engineer at a pharmaceutical company. When I hear the stories about all my gf’s rich classmates in a prestigious MBA program going to Europe for “studying” (really just taking Molly and clubbing all night while the school pays for it) I cringe like hell. They get snobby about if a job makes less than 6 figures and imply that’s low middle class (we’re in the Midwest where that’s upper middle class).
那些出生在有钱人家的人，都以为自己知道中产阶级或穷人的生活是什么样的（有时甚至能说得跟真的一样），但说真的，他们根本就一点也不懂。我童年是在三个制冰毒的实验室里度过的，当时我觉得麦当劳就算是大餐了。我在加油站每星期工作40个小时，同时还在公立大学上着21学时的课程。现在我是一家药物企业的部门首席工程师。我每次听见我女朋友在牛逼的商学院MBA项目里认识的那些有钱的同学们去欧洲“学习”（本质上就是整晚在迪厅吸迷幻药，而且是学校给钱）时的故事，我都尴尬得要死。要是一份工作挣的钱不到6位数，他们就开始抱怨，还说这是什么下层中产阶级的收入（我们在中西部，这已经算上层了。）
Grows up in meth labs and goes into pharmaceuticals.
在制冰实验室长大，于是进了药企。
先生，您当时是负责做冰毒的吗？
Lmao I’m actually in their agriculture division
哈哈哈我其实是在他们的农业分部
My wife's family has no concept of what a workday is.
我老婆的家人对于工作日没有概念
My parents and my sister are like this. My dad started his own firm, but for the last 30 years he's been the owner, not the boss, and in the last 20 it's done well enough that he's now minor-league wealthy rather than well-off. My sister has never worked, and my mom was a stay-at-home mom. They will constantly plan family vacations for all of us and be utterly shocked when me and my wife can't just take three weeks off to go to Australia with them. "But we'll pay!", they'll whine (which is lovely, they're very generous and I'm on easy-mode because of them...but...), not understanding that it's not always about the money
我父母和我姐姐也是这样。我爸自己创办了一个公司，过去30年来他都是拥有者，不是老板，并且过去20年里公司运营得都非常不错，因此他现在已经不止小康，而是富裕了。我姐姐从来都没工作过，我妈妈也是全职母亲。他们会经常给我们全家计划家庭度假，而每次我和我老婆不能请三天假去陪他们的时候，他们都特别震惊。“我们可以给钱啊！”他们会抱怨（其实很可爱，毕竟他们都很慷慨，而且我因为他们过上了简单模式的生活，但是……），但他们不理解这并不只是因为钱。
“What is a weekend?”
“什么是周末？”
I've thought about this a lot as someone who grew up poor, but has been in a number of relationships with women from upper or upper middle class castes. I think what it boils down to is that they have a kind of certainty in the idea that things will work out for them that I don't. Growing up, it felt like we were always at the precipice of catastrophe. I always felt that one wrong move would result in us losing our house or all of our money. As such, I kept immaculate care of things that I bought knowing that I could not replace any of it if it were gone. The women I've been in relationships with, though, seem to have none of this fear. They always assume that things will work out. Plans don't need to be made because there's always some way to solve a problem with money. obxts don't get much respect because they're always readily replaceable. I always think about Nick Carraway's quote from The Great Gatsby: "They were careless people, Tom and Daisy--they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."
作为一个在穷人家长大，但却约过不少来自上层或者中上层阶级女性的人，关于这一点我想过很多。我觉得说到底，他们很确定一切都会向好的方向发生的，但我做不到。从小到大，我都觉得我们好像一直在灾难的悬崖边上生活。我一直觉得只要走错一步，我们就会倾家荡产。因此，我对于买来的所有东西都会无比爱护，因为我知道如果它没了，我就换不起了。但我曾经处过的那些女人，似乎没有一个对此会感到恐慌。她们永远会认为总会有办法的。不需要提前制定计划，反正到时候无论出什么事都可以用钱解决。东西不用太珍惜，反正总是马上就能换。我总是想起《了不起的盖茨比》里，尼克·卡拉威的那句话：“汤姆和黛西，他们是粗心大意的人——他们砸碎了东西，毁灭了人，然后就退缩到自己的金钱或者麻木不仁或者不管什么使他们留在一起的东西之中，让别人去收拾他们的烂摊子……”
How real the 'network' or 'bubble' of it is.
所谓的“人脉”或者“圈子”非常真实。
就好像是“当穷人很不便宜”这个概念的反面。一个奇怪的内部社群，里面的人都有钱，因此也有权力，只要你也在他们这个圈子里，他们就很乐意把事情给办妥。举个例子，我在一场筹款之类的活动上遇到某个人，过个五分钟，他们就乐意打两个电话，让我在某家巨型企业工作。或者说，我的前男友可能会说我们去这个音乐会吧，票价180美元但没关系，我有个朋友父母订了包厢，我们跟他们一起去看就行了。或者甚至有一次我们公寓里的洗碗机坏了——但我们根本用不着花钱修，因为这栋楼是他高中朋友的父母的，所以他们免费修好，就当卖个人情了。
Yep. Even having rich friends makes a difference, giving you access to that special network.
没错，就算是有几个有钱的朋友也会给你的生活带来很大的改变，因为你可以进入他们特别的人脉之中。
“Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can’t.”
“对于那些买得起的人来说是免费的，对于那些买不起的人来说非常昂贵。”
Dated a girl for 3 years who came from old money.
之前跟一个女孩处过3年，来自那种有钱的世家。
她自己倒还可以，但她的家人根本与现实世界没有一点联系。他们当然也是好人，但根本就与其他人生活在不同的世界里。他们看我就像是看一个动物园里的动物一样，因为他们对我的人生和家庭非常感兴趣。他们会问我去公立学校上学是什么感觉。我的父母是怎么移民的。他们会因为不是所有人都有度假山庄，或者四处旅行过，而感到震惊。
最有趣的一点是，世家大族的权力比暴发户要大得多。他们属于那种“俱乐部”，里面也有其他的有钱人家，彼此之间的影响简直大得吓人。想要在一片用来造别的东西的地方建一座工厂？等一个星期，规矩就会给你让路。
Damn. Classism even exists between rich people.
妈的。有钱人之间竟然也有阶级斗争。
I learned just how productive having money can be. Something needs to be fixed/ replaced? We can afford to. Want to do something fun or adventurous? Sure let's do it now. Want to eat healthier? We can afford all the ingredients.
我知道了钱能带来多大的生产力。有东西需要替换或者修理？买得起。想要玩点有趣的或者冒险的事？现在就做吧。想吃的更健康？我们买得起所有的材料。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
要是你的人生没有被无穷无尽的需要修补、升级、替换、省钱的东西束缚住脚步，会是什么样？
I had a girl that wanted to take me to her parents vacation home for the weekend. But it was farther than my two hour on call leash as a firefighter. She was like no worries if you get called out on a fire. I'll have my dad pick you up in the helicopter...... I was ok let's do it.
曾经有个姑娘想带我去她父母周末度假的别墅。但那地方太远，我又是消防员，去的话就不能在两小时内赶到现场了。她说你不用担心，如果有人报火警，我就让我爸用直升机把你接过去……我说行啊那咱试试吧。
My ex-wife had a grandfather that was a multi-millionaire. Christmas time at their house was like being in another world.
我的前妻有一位千万富翁祖父。他家的圣诞节就像是去另一个世界一样。
各种各样的家族成员都想要去跟老国王待一会儿，尽可能地拍他的马屁。
而我光顾着跟我家孩子一起玩了，并且很高兴自己最终跑了出去。
大概过第二个圣诞节的一两个星期之后，那个爷爷给我打了个电话。他想知道他能为我或我的家人做些什么。
我跟他说我对他的钱不感兴趣，但我希望我家孩子能认识认识他们的曾祖父。
那年晚些时候，他有一天忽然出现在了我们家，那天下午他都在跟我讲自己年轻时的故事。
又过了一阵子，他给我家的每个孩子都弄了个信托基金，让他们以后能上大学。
他跟我说，在他所有的儿媳和姑爷里，我是唯一一个没有向他索取任何东西，只是当好自己的人。
He didn’t have any concept of saving money, it was always just there because his money was always earning money. Having money was an income stream of itself. Also he had no concept of how much anything cost. Was going to get some groceries for dinner and he gave me $300 to pick up some basics.
他对于省钱根本没有任何概念，反正钱就是在那等着，因为他的钱永远在生成更多的钱。有钱本身就是一种收入。此外，他也对于各种东西的成本没有任何概念。本来打算下楼去超市买点东西做晚餐，他给了我300美元。
If you have a lot of money, people give you so much free stuff all the time trying to earn your business or procure donations. Ironic that the people who can best afford to pay for the items get comped the most!
如果你有很多的钱，人们就会一直给你各种各样免费的东西，想要得到你的商业或采购捐献。讽刺的是，那些最有能力购买各种商品的人，反而得到的补贴是最多的！
This.
太对了。
很有说服力的一个例子就是我回家度假的时候，我最好的朋友邀请我去梵克雅宝（一个法国高级珠宝店）在私人房间喝下午茶。他们专门从Laduree订了一份下午茶，让我们在那里一边坐着喝茶吃点心一边闲聊，过了大概一个小时，才把高端珠宝之类我们想看的东西端进来给我们看。我才知道他们为我们做这些事，是因为我朋友买了个三十万美元的项链。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
几个月之后，她又被邀请到了纽约，旅程全额由商家报销（航班，酒店，米其林星级饭店，私人司机等等），只为了参加他们的高级珠宝展览。她的专属销售助理为她策划了整场旅行，并且一直陪着她，带她去每一个活动。这些地方会把你尊为贵人，待你非常亲切，因为他们正在盼着你的下一笔六位数的买卖。简直是另一个世界。太牛逼了。
Grew up poor (now middle class) and at 18 dated a superrich guy. First thing I noticed was the food. Not just quantities but I also discovered so much food (like oyster, fresh fish, olives,..) things my parents could never buy.
从穷人家长大（现在是中产）18岁那年跟一个特别有钱的男人约会了。我意识到的第一件事是食物。不只是量，还有各种各样我父母永远都不会买的食物（生蚝，鲜鱼，橄榄……）
我还得学会理解。我父母把我养育得很好，我一直都在读书，是个好学生，也很有教养。但他的家人的交流方式太不一样了。我得去学很多之前根本意识不到的规矩。
我觉得到头来我真正得到的教训是，尽管我的童年很难熬（钱不够花给我带来的压力可能影响了我的一辈子），但我还是非常珍重我的父母。在我见识过富人的生活是什么样的之后，我对自己的家人能够在资源少那么多的情况下还能过下去这一点感到无比自豪。
I had to learn a lot of unwritten rules that I wasn’t aware of.
引用：“我得去学很多之前根本意识不到的规矩。”
有没有例子？
Mostly related to etiquette: like which cutlery to use at a real fancy restaurant (and how to use it haha), how to make polite conversation, how to dress for different parties/occasions,… just a lot of stuff I never thought twice about. Like one example was at a restaurant where we got a menu and there were no prices on the menu, so I asked for another one. Turns out women get menus without prices because it’s the men that pay ;-) but the moment you ask, everyone knows you don’t belong.
基本上都是跟礼仪相关的：比如在那种真正上档次的餐厅里该什么时候用什么刀叉（以及怎么用，哈哈哈），怎么礼貌地交流，怎么为不同的派对和场合搭配衣服……很多我根本没想过的事情。举个例子，有一次我们在一家餐厅吃饭，我拿到的菜单上面没有标价，我就另要了一张。结果是女士拿到的菜单都没有标价，因为是男士负责结账。但你问这件事的那一刻，所有人就都知道你不属于这个地方了。
我是个很害羞的女孩，也很讲礼貌之类的，但我总是觉得自己不属于那地方，因为实在有太多东西要考虑了。很容易当众出丑。
Turns out women get menus without prices because it’s the men that pay
引用：“结果是女士拿到的菜单都没有标价，因为是男士负责结账。”
我这辈子可能都不会知道还有这么一回事哈哈哈
Quality really does make a difference in everything from clothing to ingredients.
质量确实能带来很大大不同，不论是衣服还是食材。
The difference between having money and having wealth.
有钱和有财富之间的区别。
你出生在穷人家，努力工作，终于银行里有了一万存款，收入也让你过得不错了？酷。但跟一座50亩的家庭农场，里面还有不少房子，以及终究会落到你怀里的几代人积累的遗产比起来，根本就没什么。家庭企业或是家庭关系，能带给你肥的流油的发财机会。此外还有存款，投资，保险箱里的现金，以及成堆的黄金珠宝。
就算他们突然失去了所有的支票和银行账户，他们仍然能够拥有几千万美元的身家，根本不用为下一顿饭该怎么吃担心哪怕一秒钟。
Something I did not see here is, how the comfortably rich view the truly rich.
我没看到别人说过这个，就是那些富得安逸的人是怎么看待那些富得要命的人的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我曾经在一个财富100公司的IT部门当过经历，我的老板是副总裁。他已经足够有钱了，买得起自己的游艇，也加入了一个很有名的游艇俱乐部。有天晚上他和他老婆请来了我和我老婆去那个俱乐部吃晚饭。特别棒的晚饭！
我们听他吃晚饭的时候抱怨自己有各种各样的事情没办法和他那些更有钱的俱乐部朋友一起做，比如，举个例子，立刻放下自己手头所有的事情，坐飞机到南非去参加一次游艇比赛——而且是去观赛，而不是去参赛。他发自内心地被这令人失望的现实弄得很不高兴。我们也适当地表达了同情。
但我们这几年也确实在他的游艇上参加过几次舒服的旅行。所以偶尔认识一下那些普通的有钱人，也还是挺好的。
That we're hardly even playing the same game, nevermind by the same rules.
我们可能玩的都不是同一个游戏，更不要提同样的规则了。
我曾经约过一个有钱世家的女孩，代代积累的财富。爷爷的钱，公司银行家之类的。他爸爸好像这辈子一天班都没上过，他妈妈显然也来自有钱人家。除她之外，我发现她家里的每一个成员都跟现实脱节，并且根本无法与我共情。我前任的兄弟姐妹抱怨自己今年过生日没提一辆新车，而去年的最新款就停在过道上的时候，我很擅长什么也不说。他们对于钱的价值根本没有任何概念，也从来不需要为了得到自己想要的东西而去做任何事情。我长大的环境并不算穷，但如果不是生存必要的东西的话，我基本上都不曾拥有过。所以看到一切都理所应当地拥有的生活实在令人眼界大开。如果他们一瞬间身无分文，那这些人在真实的世界里会手足无措的。