如何应对孤独？
How to Deal With Loneliness
译文简介
罗宾·威廉姆斯:“我曾以为生命中最糟糕的事, 就是孤独终老，其实不是。最糟糕的是与那些让你感到孤独的人一起终老。”
正文翻译
How to Deal With Loneliness
如何应对孤独
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"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." ~ Robin Williams
罗宾·威廉姆斯:“我曾以为生命中最糟糕的事, 就是孤独终老，其实不是。最糟糕的是与那些让你感到孤独的人一起终老。”
So true.
确实。
Yes, as an older woman who recently became alone I can so relate. I worry for today's young people in this modern society.
是的，作为一个最近变得孤独的年长女性，我很有同感。我为现代社会的年轻人担心。
I'm there right now buddy, just waiting for the day that my partner will tell me she's leaving me.
伙计，我现在就在那儿，在等待我的伴侣告诉我她要离开我的那一天。
@no name that’s no way to live man
@no name 伙计，这不是生活的方式。
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@no name if I felt that way, I would be the first one to go, and leave now. You will regret not leaving her first if you know that she’s going to leave you.
@no name 如果我有这种感觉，我会是第一个离开的人，现在就离开。如果你知道她会离开你，你会后悔没有先离开她。
Yes that's good advice but look how it ended for him
是的，这是个好建议，但看看他的结局。
@strake750 he spoke from experience
@strake750 他说的是经验之谈。
@Chris Wood this is a quote from a movie.
@Chris Wood 这是电影里的一句话。
@Chris Wood
I guess, he had a difficult life
Robin Williams RIP
@Chris Wood
我想，他的生活很艰难
罗宾·威廉姆斯，安息吧。
I wouldn't quote him he committed suicide
我不会引用他的话，他是自杀的。
@no name do you love your partner?
@no name 你爱你的伴侣吗?
@Jimmy Hand im 18 and lonely with a bunch of good people around me. I think it is all up to us and our minds to figure out what makes us feel so lonely in a world so crowded.
@Jimmy Hand 我18岁了，和身边的一群好人在一起时很孤独。我想，在这个如此拥挤的世界里，是什么让我们感到如此孤独，这完全取决于我们自己和我们的思想。
Something about depression creates a disconnect even in a room full of people. That said there is an epidemic of self serving, self centric and cold hearted every man for himself mentality.
即使在满是人的房间里，抑郁症也会造成脱节。也就是说，每个人都有一种自私自利、以自我为中心和冷漠无情的心态。
I usually never feel loneliness, but i do feel a quiet sadness from a lifetime of being alone.
我通常从不感到孤独，但我确实感到一种孤独一生的悄然悲伤。
Powerful words, brother.
很有力量的话，兄弟。
That's deep God Bless you.
太深沉了，上帝保佑你。
That’s EXACTLY how I feel.
这正是我的感受。
That and not having anyone to celebrate life events with. But in the end, it's better than being around people you don't want to be around.
还有就是没有人一起庆祝人生大事。但最终，这总比和你不想在一起的人在一起要好。
Exactly. I've been used to loneliness, it's just that it hurts when you sit down and think about if you're ever going to find that person that will change that.
完全正确。我已经习惯了孤独，只是当你坐下来想一想，你是否能找到那个能改变这一切的人时，它会让你感到痛苦。
@Rob the best way to have a friend is to be one; everyone has something to offer -- even if nothing but a cup of cold water to drink. Find your gifts and don't hold back in sharing them.
@Rob 交朋友最好的方法是先做别人的朋友; 每个人都有东西可以奉献——即使除了一杯冷水什么都没有。找到你的礼物，不要犹豫，分享它们。
There are alot of beautiful women in the philippines that are sweet and nice and would love to have a man to love and marry here in the states . Unlike the American women here that are 80 pounds overweight 5 kids from 6 different fathers and still believe that they are a princess and you should pay for her kids college education . Filipinos are very goods moral people and will marry someone that 25 years older than themselves and have no language barrier since the speak good english .
菲律宾有很多漂亮的女人，她们甜美可人，很想在美国找到一个可以相爱并结婚的男人。不像这里的美国女人，体重80磅，有5个孩子，来自6个不同的父亲，她们仍然相信自己是公主，你应该为她的孩子支付大学教育费用。菲律宾人是品德高尚的人，他们会和比自己大25岁的人结婚，而且没有语言障碍，因为他们英语说得很好。
There's only one thing worse then feeling lonely and alone and that's feeling lonely and alone with the wrong person.
只有一件事比孤独更糟糕，那就是感到孤独和与错误的人在一起。
Spent eleven years doing that and now that I am alone on my little farm I feel less lonely and anxious.
我花了十一年的时间做这件事，现在我一个人在我的小农场里，我感觉不那么孤独和焦虑了。
Or surrounded by people who you deem friends but move on with the wind when it pleases. Loyalty in good and bad is rare.
或者被一群你认为是朋友的人包围，但当他们高兴的时候，就会随风而去。无论好坏，忠诚都是罕见的。
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@Commancheheart Have you been stocking up on food, ammo, water, etc?
@Commancheheart 你有囤积食物、弹药、水等吗?
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24 year old male who really needed to hear this. Appreciate the honesty and reinforcement, Dwayne.
24岁的男性真的很需要听这个。感谢你的诚实和鼓励，德韦恩。（ DeWayne，博主）
You got this. The Lord has good plans for you.
你能行的。上帝对你有很好的安排。
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I'm 27 bro, keep your stick on the ice!
我27了，老兄，永远保持积极地心态。
Excellent advice here. I’m 38 yrs old, lived a life where I struggled and still to this day continue to push through. I was a “ladies man” growing up, or at least I thought I was. I came to know the Lord at 33 yrs old and life has been completely different and blessed. I met my wife just after I got saved and she encouraged me to be the man of God that I was made to be. I came from a fatherless home and I had to mend my ways to become a man, a real man. One that takes and accepts accountability for his actions and the care of his family. That’s what matters most. It really does. Being present in your babies lives is paramount. I prefer the quiet over a city life any day of the week. So to the younger men out there or men that are finding their way just know I’m praying for you and that Jesus is the only way. He loves us all. Hard work and honesty goes a long way. If a woman isn’t encouraging you to pray and isn’t encouraging you to be your very best then she’s not the one. God bless you and take care and know you are NOT alone brother. We are with you.
很好的建议。我今年38岁，过着艰难的生活，直到今天还在继续奋斗。我从小就是个“有女人缘的男人”，至少我自认为是。我在33岁的时候认识了主，生活变得完全不同，也很幸福。我刚得救就遇到了我的妻子，她鼓励我要成为上帝希望我成为的人。我来自一个没有父亲的家庭，我必须改过自新，成为一个真正的男人。一个为自己的行为承担责任和照顾家人的人。这才是最重要的。确实如此。陪伴孩子的生活是最重要的。一周中的任何一天，我都喜欢安静，而不是城市生活。所以，我想对那些正在寻找自己人生道路的年轻人说，我为你们祈祷，耶稣是唯一的出路。他爱我们所有人。努力工作和诚实有很大的帮助。如果一个女人不鼓励你去祈祷，不鼓励你做到最好，那么她就不是你的真命天女。上帝保佑你，多保重，要知道你并不孤单，兄弟。我们与你同在。
Thank you for sharing, this had me counting my blessings. 28 year old here who still struggles a lot. Seems all roads lead to God one way or the other.
谢谢你的分享，这让我数了数我的幸福。我28岁，仍然在奋斗。似乎所有的路都是通往上帝的路。
@E Zu …69 yr old husband father grandfather. Seek the Lord, get in a good Bible study with like minded men and build healthy relationships with men. I wish I had when I was in my 20’s & 30’s. Be humble but be very strong and resolute in your God-based convictions
@E Zu …69岁，身份是老公、父亲、爷爷。寻求主，和志同道合的人一起好好学习圣经，与人建立健康的关系。我希望我在20多岁和30多岁的时候有学习过。要谦卑，但要坚定你基于上帝的信念
I wish I had the comfort of Christ but I feel a husk wandering with no purpose. I want to believe in a God I just can't find it within me or without
我希望我能得到基督的安慰，但我感觉自己像一颗空壳，漫无目的地游荡。我想相信上帝，只是在我的内心和外部都找不到。
Thank you for this. When I was 27, I got out of an engagement with an unfaithful woman. I sold most of my possessions, left my old job behind, threw what I had left in my vehicle, and hit the road. Ended up in the sticks in Oklahoma working as a steelworker with the best quality of life I've ever had, my own small humble home, and the best damn dog a man could ask for. It's like you said, it truly takes courage to leave everything that you know and makes you comfortable behind to go into the unknown. It's unsettling and its uncomfortable sometimes. The loneliness was hard to deal with at first. It would keep me up at night, it was a bad feeling I couldn't chase away.
But it turned into peace. Genuine peace. It turned into self-reflection and growing as a man. Everyday, every task is an accomplishment that I achieved. You're a wise man, sir, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Continue to be a good man.
谢谢你。27岁那年，我和一个不忠的女人解除了婚约。我卖掉了大部分财产，辞掉了以前的工作，把车里的东西扔了，然后上路了。最后在俄克拉何马州的乡下当了一名钢铁工人，过着我一生中最好的生活，我有自己简陋的小房子，还有一条世上最好的狗。就像你说的，离开你所知道的一切，离开让你感到舒适的一切，去探索未知，真的需要勇气。有时会让人不安和不舒服。刚开始的时候，孤独感很难应对。它会让我夜不能寐，我无法摆脱那种糟糕的感觉。
但它变成了平静。真正的平静。它变成了自我反省和作为一个男人的成长。每一天，每一项任务都是我取得的成就。你是个聪明人，先生，谢谢你分享你的想法。继续做一个好人。
As a 32 year old single man who was forced to move in with my Mom due to health/financial issues. I needed this video today. Thank you DeWayne. Love to all.
作为一名32岁的单身男子，由于健康/经济问题，我被迫搬入我母亲的家。现在，我需要这个视频。谢谢德韦恩。爱你们所有人。
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You and me both dude. I’m 35 years old and live with my mom because of her deteriorating health. I’ve lost a lot of women in my life including one I almost married partly because of my commitment to my family. I’ve resorted to taking what I can get because of loneliness. It’s a habit I’m trying to break. Stay strong man. Best of luck to you.
兄弟，我和你一样。我今年35岁，因为我母亲的健康状况恶化，我和她住在一起。在我的生活中，我失去了很多女人，包括一个几乎要和我结婚的女人，部分原因是我对家庭的承诺。因为孤独，我不得不尽我所能。这是我想打破的习惯。保持坚强，祝你好运。
Same...im 39
一样，我39了
If women leave you because of your commitment to your family, they’re proving they don’t deserve to be in your family and you’re dodging a huge bullet. That’s not the kind of woman you want in your life.
如果女人因为你对家庭的承诺而离开你，她们证明她们不配待在你的家庭里，而你正在躲避一颗巨大的子弹。这样的女人不是你想要的。
Don't ever feel bad about yourself for health or financial reasons. It's completely different than being lazy or not wanting to work. This world is nuts right now and many people are struggling so keep that in mind. Any friend or person in your life that doesn't support or encourage you, get them out. I am speaking from experience, God Bless!
不要因为健康或经济原因而对自己感到糟糕。这与懒惰或不想工作完全不同。现在，这个世界是疯狂的，很多人都在挣扎，所以要记住这一点。生活中任何不支持或不鼓励你的朋友或人，把他们赶走。这是我的经验之谈，愿上帝保佑!
If you live with family the you aren't lonely, even if you think you are. The problem with todays society is its considered bad to live with family, but that ideology is unnatural. Familes have always lived together throughout history and still do in many countries.
如果你和家人住在一起，你就不会孤独，即使你认为你是孤独的。当今社会的问题是与家人一起生活被认为是不好的，但这种意识形态是怪异的。纵观历史，家庭一直住在一起，在许多国家仍然如此。
@gjaegreag Well said. Thank you
@gjaegreag 说得好。谢谢你！
God has you there for a reason. back when obama was in office my dad was out of work and had to move in with my grandparents. It was his lowest point. my grandpa ended up with parkinsons disease and my grandma needed help with him daily, and with my dad there he was able to stay at home until he passed in 2018 but now my dad and myself live with my grandma and we're glad that she isn't alone, and we've made a lot of good memories. there are times when my dad wants his own home naturally but we can see why God allowed it to happen. hope you can find encouragement in this.
上帝让你在那里是有原因的。在奥巴马执政的时候，我父亲失业了，不得不搬去和我的祖父母住。那是他人生的低谷。我爷爷得了帕金森氏症，我奶奶每天都需要帮忙照顾他，在父亲的帮助下，他得以呆在家里，直到2018年去世。但现在我和父亲和奶奶住在一起，我们很高兴她不是一个人，我们留下了很多美好的回忆。有时，我的父亲很自然地想要自己的家，但我们可以理解为什么上帝允许它发生。希望你能从中得到鼓励。
@Jessica F thank you for sharing. God bless you and your family
@Jessica F 感谢分享。上帝保佑你和你的家人。
I'm 23 years old, and even though you're almost 10 years older than me and going through a heavier storm than I am, this excerpt from a book might aid you. It's from Kafka on the Shore, by Murakami:
"“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.”"
Godspeed to you, friend.
我今年23岁，尽管你比我大了将近10岁，经历了比我更大的风暴，这一本书的节选可能会对你有所帮助。这句话出自村上春树的《海边的卡夫卡》：
“有时候命运就像一场不断改变方向的局部沙尘暴。你改变了方向，但沙尘暴追着你。你再次改变方向，但风暴也调整了方向。一遍又一遍，你发现这就像是黎明前那不幸的伴随着死亡的舞蹈。为什么？因为这场风暴不是从远处吹来的，并非你无关。这场风暴是你，是你内心的某种东西。所以你所能做的就是屈服于它，直接走进风暴中，闭上眼睛，塞住耳朵，这样沙子就不会进入眼耳，一步一步地穿过它。那里没有太阳，没有月亮，没有方向，没有时间感。只有细细的白沙像粉碎的骨头一样旋向天空。这就是你需要想象的那种沙尘暴。
你真的必须度过那场暴力的、抽象的、象征性的风暴。无论它有多么抽象，毫无疑问：它会像一千把剃刀刀片一样划破肉。那里的人会流血，你也会流血。鲜红的热血。你的手上会沾到血，你自己的血，还有别人的血。
一旦风暴过去，你就不会记得你是如何度过的，如何活下来的。事实上，你甚至无法确定风暴是否真的结束了。但有一点是肯定的：当你从暴风雨中走出来的时候，你已经不是当初走进来时的那个你了。这就是这场风暴的意义所在。”
祝你好运，朋友。
Same 32, couldn't afford school any longer and mental health decline due to previously unresolved childhood parenting trauma. Lost a girl I cared deeply about because of my behavior, I still hurt 3 years later.
Dwayne was the first channel I came across out of a short stint in jail, and has been very helpful.
Get back on the horse, brother.
同样是32岁，上不起学了，心理健康也下降了因为之前没有解决的童年养育创伤。因为我的行为，我失去了一个我非常在乎的女孩，3年后我仍然很受伤。
德韦恩是我在狱中短暂服刑后遇到的第一个频道，他对我帮助很大。
回到马背上来，兄弟。
I had to do this in the past. Don't feel bad about it. I know it isn't easy, but doing what's needed is the sign of masculinity and strength. Being weak happens, but facing it and overcoming it is strength, dignity, and moral.
我以前也得这么做。不要为此感到难过。我知道这不容易，但做需要做的事是男子气概和力量的表现。软弱是会发生的，但面对它并克服它是力量、尊严和道德。
@Jackie K thank you kindly for your words
@Jackie K 穷真诚地感谢你说的话
@Kyle Sanders I'll get back on the Horse but you gotta ride with me!
@Kyle Sanders 我会回到马背上，但你必须和我一起!
Same here, but I never moved out in the first place except to stay in the college dorms. I'll figure out a way to succeed one way or another.
我也是，但我一开始就没搬出去过，除了住在大学宿舍。不管怎样，我会想办法成功的。
Hey man, you’re not alone. I had to recently as well and it absolutely sucks. Chances of meeting someone while “living at home” is next to impossible IT SEEMS. Just do you man, love your life, so what you enjoy, and just enjoy the time you’re now spending with your aging parent(s). You’re not alone, there are many like us, and no one is talking about it. You’re doing alright, I promise. Keep your head up.
嘿，伙计，你不是一个人。我最近也不得不这么做，这真的很糟糕。“住在家里”遇到某人的机会似乎几乎是不可能的。做你自己，爱你的生活，做喜欢做的事，享受你现在和你年迈的父母在一起的时光。你不是一个人，像我们这样的人有很多，没有人谈论它。你做得很好。抬起头来。
Hey guys I just wanted you all to know you are all great and wonderful men. Nothing to be ashamed of. I was struggling with holding a job for awhile there but now I got huntin season and things have been better and I'm sire if I can make it so can you.
嘿，伙计们，我只是想让你们知道你们都是伟大而优秀的男人。没什么好羞愧的。有段时间我一直在努力保住一份工作，但现在我到了狩猎季节，情况有所好转，我相信如果我能做到，你也能做到。
Unfortunately I learned a very harsh lesson this past year due to loneliness which nearly cost me my life and mobility! Thing is dont know if I was setup or lured by the same woman I was taking care of. So watch out fellas better off alone than with black widow at your side. Best of luck to us all.
不幸的是，我在过去的一年里吸取了非常惨痛的教训，因为孤独几乎让我失去了生命和行动能力! 问题是我不知道我是被我照顾的那个女人算计或引诱了。所以，小心，伙计们一个人总比黑寡妇在你身边好。祝我们大家好运。
Understand your situation. As a woman same age looking at your situation. Going back home to help your family shows nothing but right moral values. My dad got sick when I was living with my boyfriend and I regret not being there for my dad as much as I could.
我了解你的处境。作为一个看到你出境的同龄的女性。回家帮助家人除了体现了正确的道德价值观，什么都没有。我和男朋友住在一起的时候，我父亲生病了，我后悔没有尽可能多地陪在父亲身边。
I completely know how you feel my friend. I'm 45 and am in the exact same situation myself. You're definitely not alone! Best wishes to you.
我完全理解你的感受，朋友。我今年45岁，我自己的情况也完全相同。你绝对不是一个人! 祝你好运。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
51 and dealing with cancer and related issues,no lady friend. I had a service dog but she died last year... 11 and a half yrs old. Poor girl was best dog in the whole world, in all of ever Evers
51岁了，在对抗癌症和相关问题，没有女性朋友。我有一只服务犬，但她去年去世了……11岁半了。可怜的女孩，她永远是世界上最好的狗。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Being single is the best thing ever. You don’t have to deal with other peoples bullshit. Be happy
单身是世上最好的事。你不需要处理别人的废话。保持快乐。
I lost my mom at 15 wish I could say what you said, anyway hope things go well
我15岁就失去了我的母亲，希望我能说你说过的话，无论如何，希望一切顺利。
I would like to relate to your comment by saying: I am a young eighteen year old young man who lives at his Grandparents, and I don’t have a real social life outside of work. Although I am a good person, I struggle to find ways to get out there because of my current circumstances. Thank you for this insightful video.
关于你的评论，我想说: 我是一个18岁的年轻人，住在祖父母家，我没有工作之外的真正的社交生活。虽然我是一个好人，但由于我目前的情况，我很难找到走出困境的方法。谢谢你带来这个有见地的视频。
28 living with my grandparents because 50 miles away was too far to be able to assist them at the drop of the hat, I guess at least they're wanting to leave me the house debt but I'll be here for them in their 70's and 80's so that's something.
我28了，我和我的祖父母住在一起，因为50英里远，我不能随时帮助他们，我想至少他们想把房子的债务留给我，但我会在他们七八十岁的时候陪在他们身边，这是很重要的。
Just turned 27 today and still live with my parents but i don't care because i love them both and they both love me. If no girl wants to accept me so be it. I do prioritize my fitness and love going to the gym
今天刚满27岁，仍然和父母住在一起，但我不在乎，因为我爱他们，他们也爱我。如果没有女孩愿意接受我，那就这样吧。我把健身放在首位，喜欢去健身房
Im 23 and moved back in with my mother after a mental breakdown and being diagnosed as Bipolar. Ive very appreciative to have a loving mother to lend a helping hand when it was needed most.
我23岁，在精神崩溃并被诊断为双相情感障碍后，我搬回了母亲的家。我很感激有一位慈祥的母亲在最需要的时候伸出援助之手。
@Henrikrod243 family first brother I’m an only child 22 and feel this will be me. I’m good alone but will always put my parents first.
@Henrikrod243 家庭第一，我是独生子，我觉得我也会这样。我一个人很好，但总是把父母放在第一位。
I am sorry to hear that. I am taking care of my elderly mother. My best goes out to you.
听到这个消息我很难过。我正在照顾年迈的母亲。我向你问好。
Hey I’m 46, financially set and own a nice size home. I’m in a great relationship for six years but we just can’t seem to live together due to circumstances. I’m honestly thinking of selling my home and moving in with my parents. Until my partner and I can figure out living together full time, I need people around. Here I am in the big house by myself and my parents are aging. It’d be a mutual benefit for me to move home. I can Bank a ton of money from the sale of my home, I’d have my parents around, I can help with their household upkeep. Win win. One thing I’ve learned through the years, don’t be afraid of the unconventional route. Be proud of where you are at with your journey. I never thought I’d be mid-forties, considering moving home. Especially since I don’t “need” to. But I’m excited, I would get to have family next to me. Be proud of yourself!
嘿，我46岁了，经济状况良好，有一栋漂亮的房子。我谈了六年的恋爱，但由于某些情况，我们似乎不能住在一起。我真的在考虑卖掉我的房子搬去和我父母住。在我和我的伴侣想办法全职住在一起之前，我需要有人在身边。现在我一个人住在大房子里，我的父母也老了。搬回家对我来说是双赢的。我可以把我的房子卖掉存一大笔钱，我可以让我的父母在我身边，我可以帮助他们维护家庭。赢得胜利。这些年来我学到的一件事就是，不要害怕不走寻常路。为你现在所处的位置感到骄傲。我从没想过自己会在四十多岁的时候考虑搬家。尤其是我不需要这么做。但我很兴奋，我的家人就在我身边了。为自己感到骄傲!
Also 32 almost 33 same situation you aren't alone
我32岁了，快33了。同样的情况，你并不孤单。
Stay strong brother. I had to move I with my grandparents when I was 20 years old due to health reasons myself. That was 25 years ago, now I have my own town house were I raise my son as a solo parent. He is almost 17 years old and in the process to get into West Point. He wants to change the world for the better. He also would like to be the president of our country when he is eligible
坚强点，兄弟。在我20岁的时候，因为健康原因，我不得不和我的祖父母一起搬家。那是25年前的事了，现在我有了自己的房子，我独自抚养我的儿子。他快17岁了，正在准备进入西点军校。他想让世界变得更好。当他有资格的时候，他也想成为我们国家的总统。