我12岁的女儿为了让我给她买一部新的iPhone X，把她的iPhone扔进了浴缸。我该怎么办？我应该给她买一部新手机吗？

Murphy Barrett
What, are you stupid? No, don’t buy her a new iphone. The little brat can be phoneless.
If you want her to have a phone for safety reasons give her a pre-paid flip-phone or something.

什么，你傻吗？不，别给她买新iphone。这个小家伙可以不用电话。
如果出于安全考虑，你想让她拥有一部手机，那就给她一部预付费基础款手机之类的。

Michael Fomenko
the fact that people are even asking questions like these fills me with terror for the future… the simple answer is absolutely not, the long answer is absofuckinglutely not the only thing she deserves is a spanking and some time in her newly emptied room laying on the only thing left in there, her bed. when she sufficiently appreciates what she had maybe she can have it back. but no under no circumstances should you teach your daughter that throwing a fit and damaging someone else property will result in being rewarded… although if at 12 this toddler shit is still an issue youve probably already failed your child by not teaching her that long since.

居然有人问这样的问题，这让我对未来充满了恐惧……简单的答案：千万不要。
长答案：绝对是不值得的。她唯一应该得到的是打一顿屁股。然后，她会在她那个刚刚被清空的房间里，躺在唯一剩下的床上。当他能够充分的感激自己所拥有的东西时，再考虑让她把东西拿回来。你应该告诉你的女儿：无论在任何情况下，损坏别人的财产都是无法得到回报的。如果你在孩子12岁的时候，还不好好教她，那么你的孩子可能就会让你失望了，因为你教育他的时间太晚了。

S K
No no no no no. Do NOT get her a new phone. I am her age, and I am lucky to even get this android phone for christmas. If you get her the new phone, the same things gonna happen over and over again. I have a (kinda) friend who's parents have spoiled her. I will list the things here:
1.Her nana picks out her clothes
2.She is always disrespectful of them. She yells at them and they don’t do anything about it and usually do what she tells them to do.
3.When they dont buy her Candy she throws a fit and they usually get her the candy.
4.They have not made her brush her teeth her whole life, and now her teeth are disgusting.
All I am trying to say is, if you don't teach her now, she will turn out to not be able to care for themselves and will rely off of you. If you get her that i phone X, when it comes time for the new i phone whatever comes out, she will do the same thing. Then she expects mommy and daddy to get her the new phone. Have her do her owm chores and she can save it up for herself.

不不不不。不要给她买新手机。我和她一样大，我很幸运能在圣诞节买到一款安卓手机。如果你给她买了新手机，同样的事情会反复发生。我有一个朋友，她的父母把她宠坏了。
我要列出他的几件事：
1.她奶奶为她挑选衣服
2.她总是不尊重他们。她对他们大喊大叫，他们对此无能为力，通常只能按照她说的做。
3.当他们不给她买糖果时，她会大发雷霆，他们通常只能给她糖果。
4.他们一直都没有让她刷牙，现在她的牙齿很恶心。
我想说的是，如果你现在不教她，她将无法照顾自己，并将依赖你。如果你给他iPhone X，等新的iPhone手机出来的时候，她还会做同样的事情，希望通过这样的方式，让自己的父母再为自己买一部新手机。让他自己处理自己的日常事务，她可以自己攒钱。

Oliver St John
Hell no.
If you need to be able to reach her, get her the cheapest POS phone you can find, should be about $20. If she wants another iPhone, she can find a way to pay for it herself.
Otherwise all you’re teaching her is that to have the best stuff, all she has to do is break her old ones. And in a few years, she’ll end up doing it with her car.

当然不。
如果你需要联系她，给她买一部你能找到的最便宜的POS手机，应该是20美元左右。如果她想要另一部iPhone，她可以想办法自己支付。
否则，你就是在教她：如果想要拥有最好的东西，只需要打破旧的东西就好了。几年后，就不是电话了，而是车了。

Hitoshi Shinso
The fact that you’re actually considering it makes me angry. I’m her age and I suggest buying her a fire-fly phone. The one that only calls you and 911. It’s actually disgusting that people like this exist in the world. And for your daughter, I can only blame you. Your weakness as a mother has lead to your daughter becoming an aggressive, spoiled, needy, forceful, ungrateful little brat and I suggest you straighten her out immediately. Get rid of all of her expensive belongings, and replace them with cheaper ones. You can hide the nicer things somewhere out of reach from her. Or, just give it to her straight. “I’m not buying you another phone. You’re wasting my money, and I think you aren’t seeing how much these things cost. Some people don’t even have places to live, and you are throwing your stuff around like this.” Make her work for the money, and then give it to a homeless person, and buy her something cheaper so she learns not to mess around with you. You are in charge, don’t raise trash. That makes you look even worse.

你居然真的考虑给她买，这让我很生气。我和她一样大，我建议你给她买一部萤火虫手机。就是那种只能给你和911打电话的手机。世界上存在这样的人真的很恶心。对于你女儿的事情，我只能怪你，做为一个母亲，你的软弱导致了你女儿成为了一个咄咄逼人、娇生惯养、强势、暴力、忘恩负义的小家伙，我建议你立即纠正她。
扔掉她所有昂贵的物品，换上便宜的。你可以把更好的东西藏在她够不着的地方。或者，直接告诉她。“我不会再给你买一部手机了。你在浪费我的钱，我想你根本不了解这些东西要花多少钱。有些人甚至没有地方住，你却这样乱扔东西。”
让她为钱工作，然后把钱给一个无家可归的人，给她买些便宜的东西，这样她就学会了不要和你胡闹。你是承担责任的那个人，不要把她养成一个没出息的人，这会让人感觉你很糟糕。

JEFFREY COTHAM
That’s an easy one take what’s left of the old phone and smash it Tell the emtitled brat that since she did not like the old phone, she can have a new phone called the “NO PHONE.” This no phone will have to do until she finds a way to replace the one she threw in the water.
The moral of this story is that some phone is better than no phone, so be thankful for what you have.!”

我有一个简单的办法，把旧手机拿出来，然后砸碎。告诉那个享受权利却没有规矩的小家伙，既然她不喜欢旧手机，她可以得到一部新手机，新手机的名字叫做“没手机”。在她找到办法替换掉她扔到水里的手机之前，就不要用手机了。
这个故事的寓意是，有手机总比没有手机好，所以要感谢你拥有的一切。

Michael Davison
Do NOT buy her a new phone. This will only encourage her to be more entitled.
When I was a kid, there were no iPhones, etc. However, when i was around 12 or 13, my bicycle was too small for me to use and I needed a larger one (26″ adult size instead of a 16″ pre-teen size).
After asking my parents, who both worked blue-collar jobs with no success, I went to my grandfather, who owned and operated a fruit & vegetable store (“greengrocer” to Brits).
He came up with this solution: I would choose the bicycle I wanted, and I would work in his store after school or on Saturdays until I earned half the price, at which time, he would pay the other half.
The amount is irrelevant, thanks to inflation, but I remember that I worked 50 hours at minimum wage to earn that bicycle. Today, I understand that my parents and grandfather worked together to teach me the lesson that nothing is free.
I’ve done my best to teach my own children that, and I think that my wife and I succeeded.

不要给她买新手机。这只会鼓励她想享受更多的权利。
当我还是个孩子的时候，还没有iPhone手机等等。那时，我12岁还是13岁，我的自行车太小了，我无法使用，我需要一辆更大的自行车（26英寸的成人尺寸，而不是16英寸的青少年尺寸）。
我问了我的父母，他们都是蓝领工人，他们拒绝了。我找到了我的祖父，他拥有并经营着一家水果蔬菜店（英国人称“蔬菜杂货店”）。
他想出了一个解决方案：我可以选择我想要的自行车，放学后或周六我会在他的店里工作，直到我挣到一半的价格，那时他会为我支付另外一半。
具体数字无关紧要，感谢通货膨胀，我记得我以最低工资工作了50个小时才挣到那辆自行车。今天我才明白，那是我的父母和祖父设的套，他们教会了我一个教训：没有什么是免费的。
我尽我所能，把这一点教给我的孩子，我想我和我的妻子是成功了的。

Dan Fox
If it were me, I would tell her she has to live with the consequences of her actions. If she can scrounge up some money doing odd jobs, babysitting, saving her money from birthday and Christmas presents, then l she can buy her own phone. She's only there because of what SHE did. she had a perfectly good working phone and now she doesn't because she wanted to be a spoiled little brat. If you teach her this lesson now, with love, she will grow up to appreciate things she otherwise would not. Good luck..

如果是我，我会告诉她，她必须承担自己行为的后果。如果她能够通过打零工、做保姆赚钱，并且把生日礼物和圣诞节礼物兑换成钱，那么我就可以给她买手机了。她需要这么做，都是她的行为导致的结果，她本来有一部工作得很好的手机，现在她没有了，因为她想成为一个被宠坏的小家伙。如果你现在带着爱给她上一课，她长大后就能感恩自己所拥有的东西了，否则她学不会的。祝你好运。

Heidi Rowley
No. She needs to earn back the privelage of using a phone. My story, for example: A few months ago my 14yo threw her phone at the wall in a rage. She has a pinwheel phone… lots of parental controls, no web, no social media. It cost $225 to replace. She was told she could get a new phone when she could pay for one. Luckily she does some modeling and acting sometimes so it took about 2 months to earn the money. She had other plans for that money, but she had to use it for the new phone. The first week she was a mess begging me to just buy it and she would pay me when she got paid, but I held out, she could have it when she could pay for it. It was rough, but so worth. Kids are entitled to love, food, safety. Not phones.

不，她需要拿回使用手机的特权。例如，我的故事：几个月前，我14岁的孩子愤怒地把手机扔在墙上。她有一部手机……但是，手机里面有很多的家长控制，没有网络，没有社交媒体。更换成本为225美元。有人告诉她，只要她能付钱，就可以买一部新手机。幸运的是，她有时会去做模特和表演，所以花了大约2个月的时间才赚到钱换手机的钱。她本来对这笔钱有其他计划，但她不得不用它买新手机。第一个星期，她陷入困境，乞求我买下它，说她拿到钱后会付钱给我的，但是我坚定的告诉她，只有当她能付出这笔钱的时候，才能得到手机。这个做法很粗暴，但是很值得。孩子们有权得到爱、食物和安全，而不是手机。

Callie Doggett
A cellphone quickly became a necessity. Payphones are now rare and difficult to find, and you don’t want your daughter to be at risk and unable to reach you. But, you also can’t succumb to her demands and reward such bratty, manipulative behavior.
Get her a basic flip phone, which can be purchased for little more than $20. It won’t have the features that her coveted iPhone X provides, but it will make and receive calls.
Tell your daughter that she can pay for a fancier, replacement phone. I know that it’s difficult for a 12-year-old to earn money — too young to babysit or have a job — but she can put aside some of her allowance and do some extra household chores for pay. If your family celebrates Christmas, give her a choice of presents under the tree or the cash equivalent added to her Phone Fund. Do the same thing for her birthday gifts.

手机已经成了必需品。付费电话现在很少见，很难找到，你想你不希望你的女儿处于危险之中，无法联系到你吧。但是，你也不能屈服于她的要求，并奖励这种无礼、操纵性的行为。
给她买一部最基础的基础款手机，只需20美元就可以买到。它不会有她梦寐以求的iPhone X所提供的功能，但它可以拨打和接听电话。
告诉你的女儿，她可以花钱买一部更漂亮的替代手机。我知道，一个12岁的孩子很难挣钱，因为她太小了，不能照顾孩子或找工作，但她可以把一些零用钱存起来，做一些额外的家务来挣钱。如果你的家人庆祝圣诞节，把给她的圣诞树下的礼物，等价折算成现金，作为她的手机基金。生日礼物也可以一样的进行折算。

Melinda
My children have phones for my convenience, so I’d buy her one of those 1980’s flip phones, so she can call, and warn her it’ll be literally years before I ever buy her an iPhone again.

为了方便，孩子需要有手机，所以我会给她买一部1980年代的基础款手机，这样她就可以打电话了，并警告她，我再给她买iPhone手机要过好几年。

Dushka Zapata
It’s always been incredibly difficult to be a teenager. Finding out who you are. Learning how to set boundaries. Power struggles. Trying to fit in. Peer pressure. Raging hormones.
It’s particularly hard being a teenager now. A global pandemic. Awful world news. Phones that have our nervous systems on constant high alx. Social media that amplifies the sense of missing out.
Throwing a phone in a tub to get a new one sounds irrational, and it definitely cannot result in getting a new one, but more importantly, to me this behavior feels like a cry for help.
Is my kid OK? What else is going on? Is she frustrated, anxious, lonely, repeatedly lashing out, feeling lost? How can I listen to her saying things she might not have the words for?
Trust is sacred and my most valuable asset. I want to make sure she feels (and is) loved and safe no matter what she does.
This stuff is hard. Really hard. I am very, very grateful to be an aunt and not a parent.

作为一名青少年，人生总是令人难以置信的艰难。找到自我，学习如何设置边界，权力斗争，融入集体，来自同伴的压力，愤怒的荷尔蒙。
现在成为一名青少年真的太难了。全球大流行，糟糕的世界新闻，让我们的神经系统保持高度警惕的手机，社交媒体让你觉得，如果你放下手机就可能错过一个亿。
把手机扔到浴缸里，然后要求换一部新手机听起来很不合理，而且肯定不会换来新手机，但更重要的是，对我来说，这种行为就像是在呼救。
我的孩子还好吗？是发生了别的事情吗？她是否感到沮丧、焦虑、孤独、反复抨击、失落？我要怎么样才能听到那些她可能说不出来的话？
信任是神圣的，也是我最宝贵的财富。我想确保她无论做什么都能感受到爱和安全。
养孩子很难，真的很难。我非常非常感激我只是一个姑姑，而不是父母。

Nathan Gray
In my opinion the only reason you should buy her a new phone is if you need her to have one to keep in touch. If that is the case buy her the most basic flip phone you can find.
If she wants a better phone she can do extra chores around the house or for family or neighbors (if you know them well enough to trust them). Let her earn the money and she will also learn to respect the value of things.

在我看来，你应该给她买一部新手机的唯一原因是，如果你需要她有一部和你保持联系的电话。如果是这样的话，给她买一部你能找到的最基础的手机。
如果她想要一部更好的手机，她可以在家里，为家人或邻居做额外的家务（如果你对邻居足够了解，可以信任他们）。让她挣钱，让她会学会尊重事物的价值。

Melissa Ashley
You buy her a dinosaur phone. Absolutely not a new phone, just something that can be used in the event she has an emergency. Though at 12, she doesn't really need a phone at all. Especially with that behavior. I personally wouldn't buy her a new phone and would make her buy her own name brand smart phone. Not sure where they will get the money…probably saving Christmas and etc for a few years. The behavior is unacceptable and she has to learn that.

你给她买个老古董手机。绝对不要买新手机，买那种只有在她有紧急情况下可以使用的东西。12岁，她其实根本不需要手机。尤其是这种行为。我个人不会给她买新手机，而是让她自己去买自己想要的名牌智能手机。我也不确定他们能从哪里赚到钱……可能需要在几年内节省圣诞节开支等等。她必须学会一点：这种行为是不可接受的。

Richard Smedley
Yes - buy her the cheapest phone you can find. Put it on the cheapest contract you can find & make sure data is disabled.
Then you say:
“OK, now you have a phone again so you can keep in touch in emergencies. If you want an iPhone buy it yourself out of your own money. Any charges made outside of the contract to numbers we don’t recognise or haven’t pre-agreed that you can call we will subtract from your pocket money and if that doesn’t cover it we’ll subtract the money from Christmas and birthday present funds, college funds, your savings, and so on.”

是的，给她买你能找到的最便宜的手机。给她配置最便宜的套餐，确保没有数据流量服务。
然后你说：
“好吧，现在你又有了一部手机，这样你就可以在紧急情况下保持联系。如果你想要一部iPhone，就用自己的钱买。电话套餐之外的任何费用，我们没有认可的、没有事先同意你可以拨打的电话，如果你打了，都会从你的零用钱中扣除，如果零用钱不够，我们会从你的圣诞节和生日礼物基金中扣除资金、储蓄等等。”

Bjarke Fjeldsted
My 9 year old, destroyed his iPad by accident. He was so sad, that he couldn't contain it.
So. I went and bought the exact same model used .
So when his birthday arrived, he got half of a used iPad, and had to pay the other half by himself.
He wants better? He pays.
No, you shouldn't get her a new phone. You should get her a device that can communicate so she can be safe. If the water tub trick works on you, she will become a monster.

我9岁的儿子意外地毁了他的iPad。他伤心得无法自制。
所以我去买了完全相同的型号。
因此，当他的生日到来时，他得到了二手iPad的一半，另一半他必须自己支付。
他想要更好的？他自己付钱。
不，你不应该给她买新手机。你应该给她一个可以通信的设备，这样她就可以安全了。如果浴缸戏法对你管用，她会变成怪物。

Arnold
Oh you should buy her a new phone alright.
You buy her something like this:

哦，你应该给她买一部新手机。
你可以给她买个这样的东西：

A phone is mainly designed to call people. Since she threw the phone in water, she obviously doesn’t need it. Otherwise she would’ve been more careful.
But hey… emergencies may ensue and you want to be able to have your daughter call you and vice versa. This phone does just that, and you can also trace the phone’s location.
If she needs a high end phone, she should save up for it. That way, she’ll also appreciate the value of money.

电话主要是用来给人打电话的。既然她把手机扔到水里，她显然不需要它。否则她会更加小心。
但是，嘿…紧急情况可能会接踵而至，你想让你的女儿给你打电话，你也需要给她打电话。这部手机就是用来做这个的，你还可以追踪到手机的位置。
如果她需要一部高端手机，她应该自己攒钱买。这样，她也能学会感激金钱的价值。

Ethan Jones
My brother broke his phone once (or twice).
Completely unintentional, but he can be a clumsy guy and so that's what happened!
Well, he needed a phone so when he's out, he could contact my parents. Of course, they also needed to be able to contact him.
So, my dad had a great idea:

我哥哥有一次（或两次）把手机弄坏了。
完全是无意的，他可真是个笨拙的家伙，反正事情就是这样发生了！
他需要一部电话，当他外出时，他可以联系我的父母。当然，父母也需要能够联系到他。
所以，我爸爸有个好主意：

My brother had the phone of shame until he could afford a new one, or my parents were getting rid of their old phones (usually every 3 years or so).
When he eventually broke his new phone as well. My dad simply dusted off The Phone of Shame and handed it to him again.
So, go ahead and buy her a new phone. Heck, even buy her a brand new phone! I recommend the Nokia 105 for £17 (about $20USD) on Amazon. The Nokia 3310s are surprisingly expensive at about £80 (about $95USD).
Hope she learns her lesson.

我的哥哥一直为用这个手机感到羞耻，直到他买得起新手机，或者我的父母打算扔掉他们的旧手机（通常每三年左右一次）。
后来我哥哥又打破了他的新手机，我的爸爸只是掸了掸这部“羞耻手机”的灰尘，又把它递给了他。
所以，去给她买一部新手机吧。见鬼，甚至可以给她买一部全新的手机！我建议在亚马逊上以17英镑（约合20美元）的价格购买诺基亚105。诺基亚3310出奇地贵，大约80英镑（约合95美元）。
希望她能吸取教训。