我拒绝停止在继母面前说中文，这样做的我是一个混蛋吗？
AITA for refusing to stop speaking Chinese around my step-family?
译文简介
网友：我（一个16岁的女生）从小就一直在家里同时说英语和中文（普通话，但是为了简便，后面我就用中文代替了）。我爸爸是一个白人，但是他在中国生活过一段时间，所以他都能听得懂，我妈妈学习过英语，但是中文仍然是她最适应的语言......
正文翻译
（原文无图片）
I (16F) grew up speaking both English and Chinese (Mandarin, but I’m gonna just say Chinese to keep it simple) at home. My dad is white but lived in China for awhile so he understands pretty well and my mom has learned English but still is most comfortable with her first language. I’m fluent in both, but I’m close with my mom’s family and have a lot of friends from immigrant families so I kind of use them interchangeably.
我（一个16岁的女生）从小就一直在家里同时说英语和中文（普通话，但是为了简便，后面我就用中文代替了）。我爸爸是一个白人，但是他在中国生活过一段时间，所以他都能听得懂，我妈妈学习过英语，但是中文仍然是她最适应的语言。我中英文都能说得很流利，但是我和我妈妈那边的亲戚关系很好，而且我们还有很多移民家庭的朋友，所以我可以交替使用这两种语言。
我（一个16岁的女生）从小就一直在家里同时说英语和中文（普通话，但是为了简便，后面我就用中文代替了）。我爸爸是一个白人，但是他在中国生活过一段时间，所以他都能听得懂，我妈妈学习过英语，但是中文仍然是她最适应的语言。我中英文都能说得很流利，但是我和我妈妈那边的亲戚关系很好，而且我们还有很多移民家庭的朋友，所以我可以交替使用这两种语言。
My parents got divorced a few years ago, which sucked. I mostly live with my mom, but spend weekends and some school breaks with my dad. Everything was ok until my dad started dating Jane. I don’t have a lot in common with Jane and she’s kind of pushy and invasive, like she has to be involved in everything whether it’s anything to do with her or not. She has a son (10M) That was ok, but It got worse when they got engaged and moved in last year. I thought at least I could just avoid them most of the time during the weekend, but Jane won’t leave me alone.
我父母几年前离婚了（这实在太糟糕了）。我大部分时候都会和我妈妈住在一起，但是周末和一些学校放假时间我会和爸爸住在一起。一切都很好，直到我爸开始和Jane约会。我和Jane之间没有太多的共同之处，她这人有点咄咄逼人，好像无论什么事情她都非得掺上一脚，无论那些事情是否与她有关。他有个十岁的儿子。本来还好，但是去年他们订婚并开始同居以后情况便急转直下。我以为我至少能在周末大部分时间里避开他们，但是Jane就是不肯让我一个人好好待着。
我父母几年前离婚了（这实在太糟糕了）。我大部分时候都会和我妈妈住在一起，但是周末和一些学校放假时间我会和爸爸住在一起。一切都很好，直到我爸开始和Jane约会。我和Jane之间没有太多的共同之处，她这人有点咄咄逼人，好像无论什么事情她都非得掺上一脚，无论那些事情是否与她有关。他有个十岁的儿子。本来还好，但是去年他们订婚并开始同居以后情况便急转直下。我以为我至少能在周末大部分时间里避开他们，但是Jane就是不肯让我一个人好好待着。
The big problem right now is that she doesn’t like it when I speak Chinese at their house because she can’t understand it. She complains when I Zoom my cousins or watch Chinese dramas on my phone. She says it’s because she can’t tell if I’m being “appropriate”, but I told her my dad understands me and it’s his business, not hers. She whined about it to my dad, who asked if I would just speak English when I’m at their place to keep the peace and I said I would always talk in English in conversations with her, but I’m not going to stop speaking/listening to Chinese when it doesn’t involve her and I’d stop coming over if that wasn’t ok. My dad said that was fine and he’d talk to her.It caused a fight between them and she’s started loudly speaking over me or my shows in English instead. So, I’ve stopped talking to her at all and I speak to my dad in Chinese and step-brother in English, which makes her big mad. She thinks I’m shit talking her, but I don’t talk about her at all and my dad would tell me off if I was.It’s stressing my dad out though, so maybe I‘m being TA.
现在最大的问题就是她不喜欢看到我在他们家里说中文，因为她听不懂。每当我和我的表兄妹视频聊天或者看中国电视剧时，她便会抱怨。她说这是因为她不知道我的这些行为是否“得体”，但是我告诉她，我爸爸能理解我，这是他的事情，与她无关。然后她便跑去和我爸抱怨，我爸问我在他们家时能不能只说中文以维持我们之间的和平，我说我一直在用英语和她交谈啊，但是如果当对话场景不涉及她时，我不会停止说中文，如果你觉得不合适的话，那我以后就不来了。我爸说没关系，他会和Jane谈谈的。这个问题在他们之间引发了一场争吵，然后她便开始在我讲中文或者看中国电视剧时故意大声用英语讲话想要盖住我的声音。所以，我现在已经完全不和她说话了，我和我爸交流时说中文，和继弟交流时则说英语，这让她颇为恼火。她觉得我是在用中文说她坏话，但是我从来不会提及她，如果我真的说了她坏话，我爸会批评我的。这个事情让我爸承受了很大的压力。所以，也许这么做的我是个混蛋。
现在最大的问题就是她不喜欢看到我在他们家里说中文，因为她听不懂。每当我和我的表兄妹视频聊天或者看中国电视剧时，她便会抱怨。她说这是因为她不知道我的这些行为是否“得体”，但是我告诉她，我爸爸能理解我，这是他的事情，与她无关。然后她便跑去和我爸抱怨，我爸问我在他们家时能不能只说中文以维持我们之间的和平，我说我一直在用英语和她交谈啊，但是如果当对话场景不涉及她时，我不会停止说中文，如果你觉得不合适的话，那我以后就不来了。我爸说没关系，他会和Jane谈谈的。这个问题在他们之间引发了一场争吵，然后她便开始在我讲中文或者看中国电视剧时故意大声用英语讲话想要盖住我的声音。所以，我现在已经完全不和她说话了，我和我爸交流时说中文，和继弟交流时则说英语，这让她颇为恼火。她觉得我是在用中文说她坏话，但是我从来不会提及她，如果我真的说了她坏话，我爸会批评我的。这个事情让我爸承受了很大的压力。所以，也许这么做的我是个混蛋。
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NTA and your stepmother is missing a huge opportunity to teach her son about the outside world and a chance to learn a new language.
你不是一个混蛋，你的继母错过让一个让自己的儿子了解外面世界并学习一门新语言的好机会。
The funny thing is I taught him a few polite phrases and a couple of funny tongue twisters and things like that and he thinks it’s great, so he’s started using spite Mandarin when he wants to get on her nerves and it’s driving her nuts. Lol
有趣的是，我确实教了他一些礼貌的短语和一些有趣的绕口令之类的东西，他认为这很棒，所以当他想惹恼自己的老妈时，便会开始使用一些比较恶意的普通话，这把她给气疯了，哈哈。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
The sibling bond is forming. That means he thinks you are right too.
一段姐弟情正在孕育而生，这意味着他也认为你是对的。
You have made the very reasonable compromise to ensure you are speaking in English in conversations with her. Everything else is a her problem.As an American who actually speaks a second language, I can promise you if I'm in Germany (German is my second language after English) and start talking to other native English speakers, we are 9/10 going to shift over to English, because it is so much easier to speak in one's mother tongue. Not bc we want to talk crap about others, but because it is the difference between effortlessness in speaking and really trying to speak.
你已经作出了非常合理的妥协，并确保自己用英语和她交谈。其余的都是她的问题。作为一个会说两种语言的美国人，我可以向你保证，如果我在德国（德语是我的第二语言，仅次于英语）和其他以英语为母语的人们交谈的话，我们十有八九会转向英语，因为使用母语交谈要容易得多。不是因为我们想说别人坏话，而是因为这就是毫不费力的交谈和费尽力气去交谈之间的区别。
I’m half Chinese but never learned the language. No one in my generation did. When the extended family is together, we only understand half the conversation but once in a while one of our names comes up (they use our Chinese names). It’s funny. If they use our English names we know we are in trouble but if they use our Chinese names they are probably bragging about us.
我有一半的中国血统，但是我从未学习过中文，我们这一代人中没有人会讲中文。每当家庭聚会时，我们只能听懂一半的对话。每当我们当中某一个人的名字被长辈提及时，那场面都会非常有趣。（他们用的是我们的中文名字）如果他们用我们的英文名字的话，我们便会知道自己惹上麻烦了，但是如果他们用的是我们的中文名字，那么他们很可能只是在炫耀我们。
It's funny cuz my mom also only calls me by my English name when I'm in trouble except she has a really hard time pronouncing my English name (dad chose it) so it's a little funny to me but also scary when I hear her say it.
这很有趣，因为我妈也是只在我惹麻烦时才喊我的英文名字，不过她很难把我的英文名字念对（我爸起的），所以每当我听到她喊我的英文名字时，我既会觉得搞笑，又会感觉害怕。
That's funny because it's the opposite for my family. The parents use the English names in normal conversation, but when the Chinese names come out (usually with spoken with great emphasis) we know we're screwed.
这就有趣了，因为我们家的情况正好相反。父母在平时交谈会使用我们的英文名字，然而当他们喊出我们的中文名字（通常都会以那种咬牙切齿的口气）时，我们就知道自己要完蛋了。
Like, are you given both names legally at birth?
所以你们出生时会登记两个名字吗？
I may be wrong, but I believe if they are in a foreign (in this case English speaking) country, they are typically given English legal names to “fit in” with the local culture? That is my understanding at least.
我可能是错的，不过我相信如果他们身处外国（在这个案例中则是一个英语国家）的话，他们通常都会将英文名字登记为正式名，以“融入”当地文化，当然这只是我的个人理解。
NTA. Jane is just racist
你不是混蛋，Jane就是个种族主义者。
Duude totally teach your new step brother. Being Bilingual is a huuuge deal and mandarin a very beautiful language
兄嘚，你绝对应该教你的继弟中文。会说两种语言是一件了不起的事情，而且普通话是一门非常美丽的语言。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
NTA. If your dad wants to stop being stressed, he can tell his wife to stay in her own fucking lane. It isn't you stressing him out; it's her, and even if you stopped speaking Chinese, she'd find something else to demand you change because it isn't about language or you at all - it's entirely a "her" problem and there's nothing you could ever do that would truly satisfy her.
你不是个混蛋。如果你爸不想压力太大的话，他就应该让他老婆别多管闲事。他的压力不是你造成的，而是她造成的。即便你以后不再说中文了，她依旧会找到别的理由去要求你作出改变。因为这根本不是一个语言的问题，也不是你的问题---这完全就是“她”的问题，你做什么事情都无法真正满足她。
NTA. Policing your language is not her place.
你不是个混蛋。她没有权利去监督你使用的语言
Since my dad moved out, we still do a small Lunar New Year party together because it’s a holiday he enjoyed celebrating. This year he wanted to include Jane and her son, so he and I were going to make some of the traditional food that usually Western people also like. Jane said she didn’t think the food would agree with her and her son is a picky eater so we had to order from Panda Express instead. I made New Years cake anyway and she wouldn’t even try it. My dad and I used to make dumplings and have a movie night on Fridays, but I don’t even bother cooking over there anymore because she always says something about how it smells or whatever.
我爸爸搬出去后我们仍然会一起办一个小型的农历新年聚会，因为这是一个他喜欢去庆祝的节日。今年他想邀请Jane和她儿子一起参与，所以他和我打算做一些西方人通常也会喜欢的传统中国食物。Jane说那些食物不适合她，而她儿子也很挑食，所以我们只好点了熊猫快餐。不过我还是做了一个新年蛋糕，但是她一口都不愿意尝。我和我爸以前还会在周五晚上包饺子吃，然后一起看个电影。但是现在我都懒得去那里做饭了，因为她总是说那些东西有味道之类的话。
Jane sounds like a racist.
Jane听起来像是一个种族主义者。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Hella racist! Like I’m white, but I know the clear signs when other white people are not-so-subtly letting their racist flags fly!One is a clear opposition to anything that might be different than they’re used to And other is refusing to participate in anything that reminds them of a different culture (ie. Language, food, or traditions)Instead of educating herself she’s trying to ban anything that might contradict her sh**y world view!
绝对的种族主义者！我就是个白人，每当其他白人用自己那拙劣的方式掩盖自己所挥舞的种族主义大旗时，我总能看出明显的迹象！其中一个迹象就是明确反对任何可能与他们所习惯的事情不同的东西。其二就是拒绝参与任何能让他们想起不同文化的事情。比如语言，食物或者传统。她不去尝试教育自己，而是试图禁止任何与她那卑劣的世界观相矛盾的东西！
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Yeah, I think you may be right. Even if not, she at least is a rude one.
是啊，我觉得你说得对。即便她不是种族主义者，也至少是一个粗鲁的人。
Your stepmom is a straight up racist. The complaints about how authentic Chinese food smells are a dead giveaway. Her issue with you is not just that you speak Chinese, it's that you are Chinese. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, but you seem to be taking it in stride. She is attempting to alienate you from your father so she can have her perfect little white family. It's frankly disgusting of her.
你的继母是一个彻头彻尾的种族主义者。她抱怨正宗中餐有味道的举动完全暴露了这个事实。她对你的不满不仅仅是因为你会说中文，而是因为你是一个华人。我很抱歉你需要应对这种事情，但你似乎很从容。她在试图疏远你和父亲之间的关系，好让自己能够拥有一个完美的白人小家庭。坦率地讲，这种行为让人作呕。