Ian De Pagie
Lugano, Switzerland
I had fallen asleep on the bus that brought me from the Milano Malpensa airport to the city. Instead of waking me when we arrived, the bus driver drove me back to the airport. And he made me pay for another ride.

瑞士卢加诺
我在从米兰马尔彭萨机场到市里的巴士上睡着了。当我们到达时，公共汽车司机没有叫醒我，而是开车把我送回了机场。他让我再付一次车费。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处



When I eventually arrived at Lugano (again) I left my luggage at the hotel and went for a light breakfast. There were few people around. Being a weekday and mid morning, just what I’d expected. The coffee was reasonable, the sweet bun acceptable. I called the waitress who brought me an outrageous bill and walked off again. The receipt said 95 francs, close to 100 dollars. So I called the waitress to my table, explained I had a coffee and a sweet bun, so that could never add up to 95 francs. The lady at the counter intervened and told me it was not just a coffee and a sweet bun. Actually, she had forgotten to add that to the bill: six coffees, two cappuccinos, an apple cake and crepes. 95 plus 10 for my coffee and sweet bun. I explained I came alone and never ordered all that food. Table 6? Yes. Then you did order all that. Sorry. The waitress sheepishly said she didn’t remember. The manager came. He too insisted in me paying 105 francs. The few people in the café told me they did not want to be involved.

当我最终(再次)到达卢加诺时，我把行李放在旅馆里，去吃了一顿简单的早餐。周围几乎没有人。这是一个工作日，上午十点左右，正如我所预料的。咖啡还算不错，甜面包也还可以。我叫来服务员，她给了我一张天价账单后又走开了。收据上写着95法郎，接近100美元。于是我把女服务员叫到我的桌边，向她解释说我买了一杯咖啡和一个甜面包，所以加起来不可能是95法郎。柜台边的女士介入了，告诉我账单不只包括咖啡和甜面包。事实上，她忘了把这些加到账单上:六杯咖啡，两杯卡布奇诺，一个苹果蛋糕和可丽饼。95法郎再加上买咖啡和甜面包的10法郎。我解释说我是一个人来的，从来没有点过所有这些食物。不是6号桌吗？是的，没错。这些就是你点的。抱歉。女服务员不好意思地说她不记得了。经理来了。他也坚持要我付105法郎。咖啡馆里的几个人告诉我，他们不想被牵扯进来。

I paid the whole sum and went back to the hotel, knackered.

我付清了全部款项，回到旅馆，筋疲力尽。

The key, a key-card, did not open the door. At the lobby a spotty youth controlled the computer. At least, he faked controlling it, and he was the worst actor ever. Two suited men came to stand next to me. Please walk along…

钥匙，也就是房卡，却打不开门。在大堂里，一个满脸粉刺的年轻人控制着电脑。至少他假装控制着它，他是史上最差的演员。两个制服男走过来站在我旁边。请往前走……
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Apparently I had forgotten my bag in the corridor. So they called the police who called the army who called the secret services (that is not true, I made that up). Anyway, they had the bag removed and my key-card deactivated. All a mistake. Sorry, the early flight, the bus, you know. No problem, the suited people gave me the address where my bag could be recovered. The room, the spotty youth muttered, was alas no longer available. But it would be refunded.

显然我把包忘在走廊上了。于是他们给警察打电话，警察又给军队打电话，军队又给特勤局打电话(这不是真的，我瞎编的)。总之，他们把包拿走了，我的房卡也被注销了。都搞错了。抱歉，早班飞机，巴士，你知道的。没问题，制服男给了我找回包的地址。那个满脸粉刺的年轻人喃喃地说，房间里已经找不到了。但包裹会被归还的。

A taxi brought me to the address and a mere 100 francs were charged for the bag-accident.

一辆出租车把我送到了那个地址，托运行李只花了我100法郎。

I settled for the first hotel I found nearby. An over-priced viewless hotel room.

我在附近找到的第一家旅馆安顿下来。是一间价格过高、没有景色的旅馆房间。

The afternoon meeting was very nice. The merchandiser, a jolly round fellow, offered me dinner. A very fine dinner indeed. We had a trifle too much to drink. He told me he was perfectly able to drive and I did not doubt that. He dropped me off at the hotel and disappeared in the dark night. Too late I realized I was at the wrong hotel, they one he had booked for me. With not a taxi to be found, I walked all the way back to the other hotel. Under cold, incessant rain.
Lugano, never again.

下午的会议很愉快。商人是个快乐的家伙，请我吃饭。真是一顿丰盛的晚餐。我们喝多了一点。他告诉我他完全可以开车，这一点我毫不怀疑。他把我送到旅馆，然后消失在黑夜中。当我意识到我走错旅馆的时候，已经太晚了，那是他给我订的。由于找不到出租车，在寒冷、阴雨连绵中，我一路走回了我订的那家旅馆。
再也不会去卢加诺了。