QA问答：你什么时候发现你的配偶比你想象的更爱你？
When did you find out your spouse loves you even more than you thought?
译文简介
在他的病床上。我的伴侣从来不是个感性的男人。甚至可能在情感上很冷漠。他得了癌症，临死前几天，他递给我一个装满记忆的盒子。从我们第一次约会的电影票到一张愚蠢的纸条：我让他记住要买牛奶。他一直在保存我们大多数人会丢弃的东西。他说，当我不在的时候，他会经常翻阅这一箱票、收据、便条……并回忆我们在一起的地方、表演和刚刚度过的日子。
由于他不会沟通，无法表达自己，我在我们关系的大部分时间里都感到不被爱和不被欣赏。很多时候，我想离开他，但我太爱他了，他知道这一点，因为我经常告诉他。真遗憾，他等到最后一刻才告诉我他也有同样的感受。
正文翻译
When did you find out your spouse loves you even more than you thought?
你什么时候发现你的配偶比你想象的更爱你？
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In the beginning of this month, my husband's father (my father-in-law ) passed away.
It was the most unexpected thing to happen to us.
My husband and I were devastated after hearing this news.
Since my husband's mother passed away years back, so it was a very difficult time for us.
We immediately left for my husband's native place (Jharkhand).
As per Hinduism, a son has to perform many rituals for 12 days.
I couldn't stay for twelve days continuously as my office didn't accept my leaves for twelve days.
本月初，我丈夫的父亲（我的公公）去世了。
这是发生在我们身上最意想不到的事情。
我丈夫和我听到这个消息后非常震惊。
因为我丈夫的母亲几年前去世了，所以这对我们来说是一个非常困难的时期。
我们立即动身前往我丈夫的故乡（贾坎德）。
根据印度教传统，儿子必须在12天内进行许多仪式。
我不能连续呆12天，因为我的公司不能接受我休假12天。
Once I came back, I suffered from food poisoning, cold and coughing.
I was totally staying alone in my apartment. I was vomitting continuously.
I just messaged my husband in the night , telling about my health condition.
I decided to go to doctor next day.
Next day, when I woke up, I got a message from my husband that he left for Bangalore from his native place.
I couldn't believe this. Because, my husband has to do many preparations for my father-in-law's twelth day rites.
葬礼后，我回到班加罗尔，而我丈夫决定在那里呆12天。
我一回来，就患上了食物中毒、感冒和咳嗽。
我一个人呆在公寓里。我一直在呕吐。
我只是在晚上给我丈夫发了条短信，告诉他我的健康状况。
我决定第二天去看医生。
第二天，当我醒来时，我收到了我丈夫的一条消息，他从家乡去了班加罗尔。
我简直不敢相信。因为，我丈夫要为我公公的十二天仪式做很多准备。
Mind you, nearest airport from my husband's native village is around 300 km. And there is no train facility available from his village.
He had to change few buses in winters just to reach the airport because there is no direct bus available from my husband's village to nearest airport.
This, even my own family didn't do for me. They were attending a marriage function of my cousin that time.
While my own parents couldn't leave marriage function for me. My husband left his father's death rituals to just to take care of my health.
He fulfilled all the marriage vows.
但他回来只是带我去看医生。
请注意，离我丈夫家乡最近的机场大约有300公里。他的村子里没有火车设施。
他不得不在冬天换乘几辆公共汽车才能到达机场，因为从我丈夫的村庄到最近的机场没有直达巴士。
这一点，连我自己的家人都无法为我做到。当时我的家人正在参加我堂兄的婚礼。
当我的父母无法为我放弃参加婚礼仪式的时候，我的丈夫为了照顾我的健康，放弃了他父亲的死亡仪式。
他履行了结婚时候的誓言。
He didn't ask my parents to take care of me.
My husband came back to Bangalore, took me to the doctor, purchased me medicine, did all the housechores and once I felt better, he left for his village.
He did all the preparations for the rituals alone then.
I have never met any person who is not only a perfect son but a perfect husband also.
他不在乎社会会怎么想。
他没有要求我父母照顾我。
我的丈夫回到班加罗尔，带我去看医生，给我买药，做所有的家务，当我感觉好些后，他就去了他的村庄。
当时，他独自一人做了仪式的所有准备工作。
我从未见过一个人，他既是一个完美的儿子，也是一个完美的丈夫。
I have been married for 7 years. It has been a beautiful journey with lots of love and silly fights. My husband doesn’t show his love through words but his actions. There are many incidents where I feel he loves me more than I realize.
Few days after our marriage, we were roaming in the busy roads, enjoying street food. Suddenly I felt a lot of pain in my toes because of the newly worn toe ring. It was pretty tight and I was not able to walk. I told my husband, instantly he kneeled down before me in the busy roads with insane crowd, took my feet in his hands and gently pulled off my toe ring! I know this might sound silly to the readers but at that moment I felt his immense love and respect for me. He has always cared for me whenever I experience even a slightest discomfort.
我结婚7年了。这是一段美丽的旅程，充满了爱和愚蠢的战斗。我丈夫不是通过言语表达他的爱，而是通过行动。在很多情况下，我觉得他比我意识到的更爱我。
我们刚结婚的几天后，我们在繁忙的道路上漫步，享受街头美食。突然，我感到脚趾一阵剧痛，是因为新戴上的脚趾环，它太紧了，我无法走路了。我告诉我的丈夫，他立即跪在我面前，在繁忙的道路上与疯狂的人群中，把我的脚在他的手中，轻轻地拔下我的脚趾环！我知道这对读者来说听起来可能很愚蠢，但在那一刻，我感受到了他对我巨大的爱和尊重。每当我感到哪怕是一点点不适的时候，他总是很关心我。
It was in the afternoon I came up with this brilliant idea, I called him up, pestered him to book the flight tickets for the evening. He told let’s think about it and then decide but my pregnant mind was not in the mood to listen to this free man. So he right away booked a $400 ticket! And by 11 PM, I was at my uncle’s place. They received me well. I had great food and was provided a bedroom. There I was sleeping in the lonely bedroom, oh god “I missed him” will be an understatement. It was a Wednesday night when I went there. I hardly slept.
我一直记得的另一件事是在怀孕期间。当时我有严重的恶心和呕吐。我什么都吃不下，情绪低落。我们现在住在加拿大。我不知怎的想出了一个很棒的计划，飞到我舅舅（妈妈的哥哥）住的城市，和他们一起住几天，这样我就可以吃舅妈做的食物，而不是吃我丈夫做的不那么好吃的食物。我现在才发现，我当时的行为有多孩子气。
就在下午，我想出了这个绝妙的主意，我给他打电话，缠着他订晚上的机票。他告诉我，让我们好好想想，然后再决定，但我怀孕的心没有心情听这个。所以他马上订了一张400美元的票！到了晚上11点，我到了我舅舅家。他们很好地接待了我。我吃得很好，有一间卧室。在那里，我睡在孤独的卧室里，哦，上帝，“我太想他了”。我去那里的时候是星期三晚上。我几乎没睡。
It’s a 13 hour long drive. He started at 8 PM on the Friday night and drove continuously in dark, by taking only an hour break in-between and reached my place by 11 AM. Even though it was only two days seeing him, I felt as if it was an year seeing him. I hugged him as soon as I saw him. I can never forget that moment.
虽然我舅舅的家人很宠爱我，但我的心和他在一起。我非常想念他。我怀孕的大脑再次命令他马上来我家。当时他做的工作可以灵活安排，所以我请他在我舅舅家工作。当时我们的预算很紧，所以我们最终决定让他开车来我舅舅家，而不是坐飞机！
开车13小时。他周五晚上8点出发，在黑暗中连续开车，中间只休息了一个小时，上午11点就到了我舅舅家。虽然和他分开只有两天，但我觉得和他分开好像已经一年了。我一看到他就拥抱了他。我永远不会忘记那一刻。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Anyways we then drive back home a week later. It was the best drive of my life. 13 hours, no it took 16 hours of drive this time. It is the most beautiful memories of those days.
He has put up with me every time, just because I asked him. He could have bluntly denied and stayed home happily but he took the pain of driving for 13 hours and stayed beside me. He is a very practical guy but at that time he played with all my whims and fancies.
Whenever we fight, I remember these incidents and feel blessed to have him by my side no matter what, I am truly grateful.
他是一个不喜欢在别人家里呆超过一个小时的人。但我让他在那里呆了一个星期！这确实给我们和他们带来了不便。我再也不会那样做了。呕吐的时候住在别人家里不是个好主意。我意识到了这一点。
无论如何，一周后我们开车回家。这是我一生中最棒的一次驾驶。13个小时，不，这次开车花了16个小时。这是那些日子里最美好的回忆。
他每次都容忍，就因为是我要求的。他本可以直截了当地否决，并愉快地呆在家里，但他忍受了13个小时开车的痛苦，留在了我身边。他是一个非常务实的人，但在那个时候，他满足了我所有的突发奇想和幻想。
每当我们打架的时候，我都会想起这些事情，无论发生什么，我都很感激有他在我身边。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
The day he cried for me.
So, the story goes like this.
We had an arranged marriage. We barely knew each other and in 2 months we were married.
Immediately after our wedding, I fell sick and had to be hospitalized for quite a few days. And by the time I recovered it was almost 2 months post our wedding. So, even after the wedding, we barely spent time with each other. Though, by this time I had fallen in love with him head over heels.
那天他为我哭泣。
故事是这样的。
我们是包办婚姻。我们几乎不认识对方，认识两个月后我们结婚了。
婚礼一结束，我就生病了，不得不住院好几天。到我康复的时候，我们的婚礼已经过去将近2个月了。所以，即使在婚礼之后，我们也几乎没有花时间在一起。不过，这时我已经深深地爱上了他。
再过两个月，我们就要习惯彼此的生活，适应彼此的新生活，我也要习惯我保守的姻亲，重新开始全职工作。有一天，他下班回家，看起来不太正常。但是因为结婚的时间太短了，我仍然在试图弄清楚他的心情，以及他是否真的对什么事感到不安。回家后，他不怎么说话（这很不寻常），正在喝一杯咖啡，突然把杯子掉了下来，把咖啡洒了一身。现在，我真的觉得有点不对劲。
然后，大的意外来了。他说：“我想告诉你一些事。”。他从他的公司得到了一份永久转移到我们州另一个偏远城市的命令。这对我来说是一个巨大的打击。甚至在婚礼之前，我们就很早就决定，在任何情况下，我都不会辞掉我过去7年安顿下来的工作。就我所从事的职业而言，要在他调职的偏远城市找到一份工作并不容易。所以我立即想到的是，我们应该如何分开生活。我们刚开始一起生活，马上就不得不分开了。那一夜，我哭了又哭，哭了又哭。我无法接受这样一个事实：没有他在我身边，我只能和姻亲呆在一起。我很震惊。过了一段时间，我恢复了镇静，告诉他接受工作调动（反正别无选择），他和我都会开始寻找我们可以在同一个城市的工作。我告诉他我明白这不是他的决定，我会坚强地等待他。
He told me that he didn’t want to accept the offer as he could not imagine living without me even for a day.
That day, I realized that he loves me more than I thought he would. It may not seem all that great for you, but seeing a man completely break down in front of me, for me, assured me that my decision to marry him was the right one!
Ultimately, he had to stay away from me for almost 10 months, before he found another job back in the city where we lived.
Eventually, distance brought us even more closer! :)
Cheers!
当我向他保证一切都会好，我会照顾好一切，管理好家，并会等他，他完全崩溃了。现在轮到他痛哭流涕了。（注：我丈夫是那种严肃、坚强、觉得我什么都能应付的人。）
他告诉我，他不想接受这个命令，因为他无法想象没有我的生活，哪怕只有一天。
那天，我意识到他比我想象的更爱我。这对你来说可能不太好，但看到一个男人在我面前完全崩溃，对我来说，让我确信我嫁给他的决定是正确的！
最终，他不得不离开我近10个月，然后才在我们居住的城市找到另一份工作。
最终，距离让我们走得更近了！：）
干杯！
Me and my wife post marriage had decided that we would never hide anything from each other, irrespective of issue being small or big. We till date follow this and maybe that is why, we are better off than so many couples who have trouble in their relationship(Primarily due to trust). Stating this she knows about private folder in mobile too.
This happened couple of years back, after I came back from work at 10.30 PM, post my dinner, I could sense something was amiss, but didn’t point out. Before taking our daughter to sleep (I was on Laptop), she asked me to stay awake as she wanted to talk something important (I have a bad habit of sleeping on sofa, hanging chair, floor etc.)I had already sensed something was bothering her, I was fully awake(Inspite of having a tired day). She came back in few minutes, it took her about 5 minutes to compose herself and then she said that her supervisor had proposed her (He knew she was married and with a kid, he was married with two kids). I knew her whole team as we were working in same company before me moving out for better options.
我和我的妻子在婚后决定，我们永远不会对对方隐瞒任何事情，无论问题大小。我们一直遵循这一点，也许这就是为什么，我们比那么多在关系上有问题的夫妇要好（主要是因为信任）。声明一点，她知道我手机中的私人文件夹。
这件事发生在几年前，当我晚上10:30下班回来，吃完晚饭后，我能感觉到有什么不对劲，但没有指出。在带我们的女儿睡觉之前，我在笔记本电脑上收到她的消息，她要求我保持清醒，因为她想谈一些重要的事情（我有在沙发、吊椅、地板等睡着的坏习惯）。我已经感觉到有什么事情困扰着她，我完全清醒了（尽管这一天很累）。几分钟后，她回来了，花了大约5分钟让自己平静下来，然后她说她的上司向她求婚了（上司知道她结婚了，有一个孩子，上司也结婚了，有两个孩子）。我了解她的整个团队，因为我们以前在同一家公司工作，在我搬出去寻找更好的选择之前。
‘I took my bag and left.”
I smiled, thats so typical of her. I was calm and said, “Tomorrow, ask him, if he is ready to marry you, if you say yes?”
“Are you mad, what are you saying….” She was on verge of crying.
I told her, “Trust me, you will not regret.”
I knew her supervisor very well, he had literally asked every female from department out. I comforted her saying I knew what I was doing, next day when she asked him this, he was flabbergasted his words(As told by my wife), “First lets get to know each other well, then we can think of marriage.”
“那你怎么说的？”我问。
“我拿了包就走了。”
我笑了，这很典型。我平静地说：“明天，问他，如果你答应，他是否准备和你结婚？”
“你疯了吗，你在说什么……”，她快要哭了。
我告诉她，“相信我，你不会后悔的。”
我和她的上司很熟，他几乎邀请了部门里的每一位女性。我安慰她说我知道我在做什么，第二天当她问上司这个问题时，他目瞪口呆（我妻子说的）：“首先让我们彼此了解，然后我们再考虑结婚。”
When she was telling me over phone what had happened, I realised how much she loved me, inspite of her being uncomfortable with idea, she went ahead with it because I asked her to.
To cut it short, he did not trouble her again, I could have asked her to report it to her bosses or worst could have gone and met him and threatened him, I did not do, I wanted her to face this problem herself.
Only thing I regretted was calling him a friend once upon a time.
我妻子问：“你提议好好了解我，对吧，还有什么要知道的？”
当她在电话里告诉我发生了什么事时，我意识到她有多爱我，尽管她对这个想法感到不舒服，但她还是坚持了，因为我要求她这么做。
简而言之，他没有再麻烦她，我可以让她向她的老板报告，否则最糟糕的办法是，我可以去见他并威胁他，我没有这样做，我希望她自己面对这个问题。
我唯一后悔的是，从前我把她上司当做朋友。
On his death bed. My partner was never the most affectionate of men. Could even be cold emotionally. He had cancer and a few days before he died, he handed me a box full of memories. From the cinema ticket from our first date to a daft note I had left him to remember to to buy milk. He was constantly saving what the majority of us would discard. He said that when I was away, he would often look through the box of tickets, reciepts, notes…and remember the places, exhibitions and just days we had spent together.
I had spent the majority of our relationship feeling unloved and unappreciated because of his lack of communication and inability to express himself. Many a time, I thought of leaving him but I loved him too much and he knew this as I often told him. It's a shame he waited until this last moments to tell me he felt the same.
在他的病床上。我的伴侣从来不是个感性的男人。甚至可能在情感上很冷漠。他得了癌症，临死前几天，他递给我一个装满记忆的盒子。从我们第一次约会的电影票到一张愚蠢的纸条：我让他记住要买牛奶。他一直在保存我们大多数人会丢弃的东西。他说，当我不在的时候，他会经常翻阅这一箱票、收据、便条……并回忆我们在一起的地方、表演和刚刚度过的日子。
由于他不会沟通，无法表达自己，我在我们关系的大部分时间里都感到不被爱和不被欣赏。很多时候，我想离开他，但我太爱他了，他知道这一点，因为我经常告诉他。真遗憾，他等到最后一刻才告诉我他也有同样的感受。
My right shoulder is almost always sore. I had mentioned this to my husband , since then I'm never allowed to lift heavy bags using my right hand as long as he is near. Soon as I pick anything, he swoops in right away and takes the bags. It's when he does such things, not to impress me or something like that but because he cares for me, I know that he loves me more than I know.
He always shares things with me, be it food, drinks, sweets anything and everything. And when he tells me that I don't like enjoying anything good without u, my heart melts knowing that I have found a jem as a life partner.
我的右肩几乎总是疼痛。我跟我丈夫说过这件事，从那以后，只要他在附近，他就不允许我用右手提沉重的袋子。我一拣东西，他就冲进来拿走了袋子。当他做这些事情的时候，不是为了给我留下深刻的印象，而是因为他关心我，我知道他爱我比我知道的还要多。
他总是和我分享东西，无论是食物、饮料、糖果还是任何东西。当他告诉我，没有你我不喜欢享受任何美好的事物时，我的心融化了，因为我已经找到了一个jem 作为生活伴侣。
I had gotten out of a bad relationship when I was 23 due to him cheating and had trust issues. I had been with him for 7 years and I felt betrayed. I went three years being single after that.
When I was 26 I went to a friend’s wedding. I was the only one among my friends who was single. I felt depressed and went outside to smoke, just thinking I’d be alone with my cats for the rest of my life when I hear a voice: “Are you ok?” I looked up into the face of Conor. I knew him back in school but we weren’t friends. He had special needs but wasn’t confident enough to make friends, thinking he was useless when younger. So I opened up to him. He simply just listened.
A week after the wedding I met up with him for lunch. I decided I wanted to know this once quiet boy who struggled with everything when younger.
我23岁的时候因为丈夫出轨和信任问题摆脱了糟糕的婚姻关系。我和丈夫在一起7年了，我感到被背叛了。在那之后我单身了三年。
在我26岁的时候，我参加了一个朋友的婚礼。我是我朋友中唯一一个单身的人。我感到很沮丧，就到外面去抽烟，我听到一个声音：“你还好吗？”。我抬头看着Conor的脸。我在学校的时候就认识他，但我们不是朋友。他有（身体或者智力障碍造成的）特殊需求，没有足够的信心交朋友，认为自己年轻时是无用的。所以我向他敞开了心扉。他只是听着。
朋友婚礼一周后，我和他共进午餐。我决定要认识这个曾经沉默寡言，年轻时和一切抗争过的男孩。
It wasn’t until nearly a year later he asked me out. His reasoning: he wanted to help me get over my trust issues before asking me.
We got married in 2010 and recently celebrated our 10th Anniversary. Due to Covid-19 we had our anniversary at home. While I was sleeping the previous night he decorated our bedroom with red paper hearts. He woke me up with a kiss and a “this is for you my sweet love”.
He kisses me every morning I wake up and loves to kiss me goodnight, always whispering in my ear “you are the love of my life”. I feel like I’m on a cloud every time he does this. He prefers to kiss me than making love to me, telling me “a kiss is more tender”. He is simply sweet.
And I never have to worry about him cheating on me for two reasons:
He is old fashioned and doesn’t believe in infidelity. Two of his Aunts marriages failed because of that reason and they taught him about remaining faithful. He’s disgusted with infidelity.
The most important reason: he tells me he loves me every day and devotes all his spare time on me and our children.
I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
他变了。如今，他拥有出色的社交技能，懂得同情心和同理心，他承认自己年轻时缺乏同情心和同理心。
直到将近一年后，他才约我出去。他的理由是：他想帮助我克服信任问题。
我们于2010年结婚，最近庆祝了结婚十周年。由于新冠肺炎，我们在家过了周年纪念日。前一天晚上我睡觉的时候，他用红纸折成的红心装饰了我们的卧室。他用一个吻和一句“这是给你的，我亲爱的”叫醒了我。
每天早上我醒来时，他都会亲吻我，并喜欢亲吻我并道晚安，总是在我耳边低语“你是我一生的挚爱”。每次他这么做，我都觉得如坐针毡。比起和我做爱他更爱吻我，他告诉我“吻更温柔”。他很可爱。
我从来不用担心他背叛我，原因有两个：
1、他很守旧，厌恶出轨。由于这个原因，他的两个姑姑的婚姻失败了，他们教会了他如何保持忠诚。他厌恶不忠。
2、最重要的原因是：他每天都说爱我，把所有的业余时间都花在我和我们的孩子身上。
我觉得自己是世界上最幸运的女人。
Ours was an arranged marriage setup like most Indian marriages.
The catch was, our fathers were best friends and had decided that they would marry their kids to each other's kids. Him and me, we both were single child, so only one marriage was on the cards.
Since childhood, it was an ongoing joke between our families. Our friends, parents, relatives used to tease us so much!!
We never paid any serious thought on the matter, since we were quite young back then. Not even good friends. We just knew each other very well due to family ties.
Years passed. We both were quite sincere in our studies. I remember during school trips, my father used to ask me if he was going or not. If he was, my father would be so relieved!
和大多数印度婚姻一样，我们的婚姻是包办婚姻。
问题是，我们的父亲是最好的朋友，他们决定把自己的孩子嫁给对方的孩子。他和我都是独生子女，所以只有一桩婚姻是可能的。
从孩提时代起，这就是我们家庭之间一直在开的玩笑。我们的朋友、父母、亲戚过去常常取笑我们！！
我们从未认真考虑过这件事，因为那时我们还很年轻。甚至算不上是好朋友。由于家庭关系，我们彼此非常了解。
几年过去了。我们俩在学习上都很认真。我记得在学校旅行时，我父亲经常问我他是否也要去。如果他去，我父亲会松一口气！
When I turned 25, my parents started pestering me for marriage. To the same guy. Now, I had never been into any relationships till now, so the sudden thought, scared me. But I don't know how, somehow, I said yes.
He agreed too. Marriage happened.
Now daily in the morning, he gives me my black coffee, without fail.
I can't cook. So he cooks breakfast and packs our lunch. I am still learning though…
大学毕业后，我们俩都找到了工作。他在德里，我在班加罗尔。到那时为止，没有多少沟通。
当我25岁的时候，我的父母开始缠着我结婚。对象都是他。我从来没有想过要和他发展出什么关系，父母突然的想法，惊呆了我。我不知道该怎么办，不知道为什么，我同意了。
他也同意了。我们结婚了。
现在每天早上，他都会给我一杯黑咖啡，一直如此。
我不会做饭。所以他做早餐，给我们打包午餐。不过我在学习……
He showers me with small but very thoughtful gifts like bookmarks, pastry, red roses, fragrances and many more.
He knows so much about me that sometimes I wonder if my parents told him the stuff.
I don't know how he got to know about my likes and dislikes. When I ask he just chuckles and tells me it's magic.
So many small things daily make me believe that he loves me more than I ever thought was possible.
Sure, we have fights. But over the months we've gotten to know each other better. Now if we fight, we keep the discussion for the next day so that the anger level is down. This has helped a lot.
我每个月那几天都会痉挛得很厉害，我会变得很暴躁。他只是无视我的脾气，给我热水袋，泡茶，整天给我发信息，问我的感受。
他给了我很多小礼物，很体贴，比如书签、糕点、红玫瑰、香水等等。
他对我了解得太多了，有时我想知道是不是我父母告诉了他这些事情。
我不知道他是怎么知道我的喜恶的。当我问他时，他只是笑着告诉我这是魔法。
每天有那么多小事让我相信他比我想象的还要爱我。
当然，我们也吵架。但几个月来，我们彼此更加了解了。现在如果我们吵架，我们会把讨论留到第二天，这样愤怒的程度就会降低。这帮了大忙。