我要如何培养自信和自尊？
How can I develop self-confidence and self-esteem?
译文简介
为什么自尊如此重要？？？？？
1、因为你的自尊与你对生活中糟糕行为的容忍度成反比。
2、人们容忍生活中的各种功能障碍和不健康行为并不是出于爱、慷慨、善良或同理心，而是因为他们糟糕的自我形象和对自己的潜意识仇恨。
3、高自尊确保你在生活中只邀请符合你标准的关系，并帮助你成长。它确保你不会满足于那些对你的身心有害的关系。
好好想想这些……
正文翻译
How can I develop self-confidence and self-esteem?
我要如何培养自信和自尊？
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Here’s how you can develop self-confidence and self-esteem:
1. Treat yourself as a unique person, not as a low-life who can’t be like others.
Believe that you are a special person, unlike your brothers, sisters, cousins, neighbours, colleagues or anyone else with whom you may compare yourself. Allow yourself to be different, to dress the way you like, to have a haircut you fancy for, to choose the field of study you have a desire for, to pick the profession you crave for. Let go of the need to meet the expectations of the society. Accept yourself. When you accept yourself, everyone accepts you. When you don’t accept yourself, you feel a lack of self-confidence.
Respect the unique you.
以下是如何培养自信和自尊的方法：
1、把自己当成一个独特的人，而不是一个低级的人，一个无法像别人一样的人。
相信你是一个独特的人，不同于你的兄弟、姐妹、堂兄弟、邻居、同事或任何你需要与之比较的人。允许自己与众不同，按照自己喜欢的方式打扮，剪一个自己喜欢的发型，选择自己渴望的学习领域，选择自己渴望的职业。放下满足社会期望的需要。接纳你自己。当你接纳自己时，每个人都会接纳你。当你不接纳自己时，你会感到缺乏自信。
尊重独一无二的你。
2. Develop positive pictures of yourself in your head. Discourage self put-downs.
Picture yourself doing things you want to do, because what you think in your head becomes your reality. If you can’t imagine yourself reading a book, chances are you’ll never read one. If you can’t imagine yourself being successful, chances are you’ll never gain success.
Catch yourself saying:
“I’m not good at talking to people.”
“I’m not fair.”
“I don’t know how to crack a joke.”
Give yourself positive reinforcement. Develop positive pictures of yourself in your head:
“I’ll be good at talking to people if I just tried talking to people.”
“I may not be fair by some silly standards but I’m gorgeous. And smart.”
“I’ll learn how to crack a joke if I just practiced one here and there.”
Just a correct picture in your head is enough to generate a ton of self-confidence.
Have correct mental pictures.
2、在脑海中形成积极的自我形象。阻止自我贬低。
想象你自己在做你想做的事情，把你脑海中的想法变成了现实。如果你无法想象自己在读一本书，那么很可能你永远也不会读一本。如果你无法想象自己会成功，那么很可能你永远不会成功。
当发现自己在对自己说：
“我不善于与人交谈。”
“我待人不公正。”
“我不知道怎么开玩笑。”
给自己积极的支持。在脑海中形成积极的自我形象：
“如果我试着与人交谈，我会很善于与人交谈。”
“用一些愚蠢的标准来说，我可能不公正，但我让人愉快，而且很聪明。”
“如果我总是到处练习一个笑话，我就会学会如何讲笑话。”
只要你脑海中有一个正确的画面就足以产生巨大的自信。
有正确的心理的图片。
3. Be a risk-taker, rather than being someone who takes a safe road.
Do things you’ve never done before. Take risks. Try new things, don’t be afraid to fail. Write that Quora answer you’ve been preparing to write since forever- what if nobody upvotes? At least you did something that so many more just could never. Forward your resume to that company you’ve been thinking since past few weeks- what if they reject you? At least you’ll know you’re not ready yet. Choose that vocation you want to be in even though you didn’t study four years for it- what if you don’t make it? You may not even make it in the field you studied four years for. You might as well try what you desire.
Just trying things out, just taking small risks, internalises a courageous attitude and a strong feeling of self-esteem. Those who avoid risks never feel a genuine sense of accomplishment, and always suffer from low self-esteem.
Take risks.
3、做一个冒险者，而不是走一条安全的路。
做你以前从未做过的事。冒险尝试新事物，不要害怕失败。写下你早就准备好想写下的Quora答案——如果没有人点赞怎么办？至少你做了很多人永远做不到的事情。把你的简历转发给你过去几周以来一直在思考的公司——如果他们拒绝了你怎么办？至少你会知道你还没有准备好。选择你想从事的职业，即使你没有为此学习四年——如果你没有成功呢？你甚至可能无法在你学习了四年的领域取得成功。你不妨试试你想要的。
试着去做，冒点小风险，内化一种勇敢的态度和强烈的自尊感。那些逃避风险的人从来没有真正的成就感，总是自卑。
去冒险！
4. Don’t bore yourself. Be excited about life!
Boredom is a choice. There are plenty of things to do at any moment of life: reading, writing, exploring, playing, working, working out, coloring, observing. You are really lowering your own self-esteem by deciding to feel bored. Think about it- whenever you feel bored, you are not enjoying the person you are with. If you are feeling bored when you are alone, this person is you. This is a short and sweet definition of low self-esteem. Those who have high self-esteem love getting time to themselves, because they have plenty of things to do and can put that time to good use. Those who have it low, want someone else to entertain them to take their boredom away.
Don’t settle on boredom.
4、不要让自己感到无聊。对生活感到兴奋！
无聊是一种选择。生活中的任何时刻都有很多事情可以做：阅读、写作、探索、玩耍、工作、锻炼、着色、观察。你选择感到无聊，这真的在降低你的自尊心。想想看——每当你觉得无聊的时候，你会不喜欢和你在一起的人。如果你独自一人时感到无聊，你不喜欢的人就是你自己。这是对低自尊的简短而甜蜜的定义。那些自尊心强的人喜欢有时间独处，因为他们有很多事情要做，可以充分利用这些时间。那些情绪低落的人，希望其他人来取悦他们，消除他们的厌倦感。
不要沉迷于无聊。
5. Choose independence, not dependence.
Do things on your own if they make sense to you, even when no one else is willing to accompany you. Do that assignment that no one else wants to do- but you want to, take that trip to Goa alone, go watch a movie all by yourself, take that job that people warned you about. Stop asking others to get involved in every little thing you do, stop seeking their approval in your undertakings. Even being independent in tiniest of things you never even considered, like making your own food, cleaning your room, washing your clothes, tracking your spendings, can provide you with a strong sense of independence. As you begin to explore your world alone, you’ll see it with new eyes of confidence.
A strong self-esteem comes from a strong feeling of independence.
5、选择独立，而不是依赖。
如果某件事情对你有意义，就去做，即使没有人愿意陪你。做别人不想做的任务——如果你想，比如独自去果阿旅行，独自去看电影，做别人警告过你不要做的事情。停止要求别人参与你做的每一件小事，停止在你的事业中寻求他们的认可。即使在你从未考虑过的最微小的事情上保持独立，比如自己做食物、打扫房间、洗衣服、计算支出，也能给你带来强烈的独立感。当你开始独自探索你的世界时，你会以充满信心的新眼光看到它。
强烈的自尊心来自强烈的独立感。
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you’ll succeed or not, you are right.” The answer to building self-confidence and self-esteem is how you choose to think about yourself, because that is what you convey to the world.
亨利·福特说：“无论你认为自己会成功还是失败，你都是对的”。建立自信和自尊的答案是你选择如何看待自己，因为这是你要向世界传达的。
Once Arnold Schwarzenegger was walking down the Venice Beach. Two young women were walking by and one said: “Ewww… I would never want to look like that!” To which he responded in his thick Austrian accent: “And you never wiiilll.”
The key to self-esteem is to appreciate what you are and not worry about what everyone else thinks.
有一次，阿诺德·施瓦辛格在威尼斯海滩散步。两个年轻女人走过来，其中一个说：“哎呀……我决不想看起来像那样！”。对此，他用浓重的奥地利口音回应道：“你永远无法像我这样。”
自尊的关键是欣赏自己，而不是担心别人的想法。
I am sorry you feel this way, I’ve had similar issues with myself. Not exactly the same but I have felt I was good for nothing. It sucks.
However, I think you are approaching this the wrong way. You might not like my way, that's fine, but here it is.
I know people who have all the things you mentioned and are not confident. I know people who have none of those things, but still have confidence.
Confidence does not lie in achievements, looks or skills. Not real confidence.
很遗憾你这么想，我自己也有类似的问题。不完全一样，但我觉得我一无是处。太糟糕了。
然而，我认为你的做法是错误的。你可能不喜欢我的方式，那很好，但就是这样。
我知道有些人对你提到的所有事情（成就、相貌等）都有信心。我知道有些人没有这些东西（成就、相貌等），但仍然有信心。
自信不在于成就、长相或技能。那不是真正的自信。
1) confidence with a qualifier, e.g., I’m confident in my looks, I’m confident in my intelligence…etc; and
2) overall confidence in one’s self, i.e. I’m confident in me.
The former is specific to achievements, looks or skills that come naturally or through work. You can grow to feel confident in them, sure. But if that is all you do, you might only be confident as long as those things hold up. In this case your confidence is tied to that thing only, not to you. That’s not sustainable.
The latter is a more fundamental feeling of self-trust: no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it – kind of feeling.
两者之间存在差异；
1） 对某种资格充满信心，例如，我对自己的长相有信心，我对自己的智力有信心……等等；和
2） 对自己的整体有信心，即我对自己有信心。
前者是指自然或通过工作取得的成就、长相或技能。当然，你可以逐渐因为这些感到自信。但如果你的自信建立在这些上，你可能只有在这些事情能够一直持续下去的情况下才有信心。在这种情况下，你的信心只与某种成就有关，而与你无关。这是不可持续的。
后者是一种更根本的自信感：无论生活给你带来什么，你都能应付——那种感觉。
The reverse, however, is true. By building your overall confidence, it will overflow and boost confidence in other areas. It’s kinda like saying, “I don’t know how to fish, but I trust myself to figure it out.” Or, “I don’t know if that woman is going to accept my date offer but I’ll survive if she doesn’t.”
Confident people aren’t more sure about a positive result, they are just not as afraid of failure.
This is because their sense of self isn’t tied to achievements, skills, or looks. Which leads me to my next point.
与这里的大多数答案相反，我认为总体信心不是资格信心的总和。你可能是世界上最漂亮、最聪明的人，但这并不意味着你会对自己充满信心。我认为足够多的名人过早自杀事件向我们展示了这一点。自信必须来自另一个地方。
情况恰恰相反。通过建立整体信心，它将在其他领域溢出并提升信心。这有点像是在说：“我不知道怎么钓鱼，但我相信自己能弄明白。”或者，“我不知道那个女人是否会接受我的约会邀请，但如果她不接受，我也会活下去。”
自信的人不是对积极的结果更有把握，而是他们不害怕失败。
这是因为他们的自我意识与成就、技能或长相无关。这就引出了我的下一点。
In my personal experience, integrity has been the main driver of real confidence. Integrity embodies compassion, generosity of spirit, honesty, reciprocal actions. It means treating people kindly, helping others, thinking about the world around you.
You can put yourself through almost anything as long as at the end of the day, you can say: I did the right thing and in so doing, I did right by others.
This is how you start to get confidence in yourself, practice integrity.
It doesn’t mean you won’t have self-doubt, or that you won’t fail, or that others won’t disagree. It will take a while to get there. But you will get through it if you believe in your integrity, and thus yourself.
If you have nothing else, have that. If you do, you’re already better than most.
你如何提高整体信心？好问题。
根据我个人的经验，诚信是真正自信的主要驱动力。正直体现了同情心、慷慨精神、诚实和互惠行动。它意味着善待他人，帮助他人，思考你周围的世界。
你可以让自己经历几乎任何事情，只要在一天结束时，你可以说：我做了正确的事，这样做，我对别人做了正确的事。
这就是你如何开始对自己充满信心，练习正直。
这并不意味着你不会有自我怀疑，或者你不会失败，或者其他人不会反对。到那里需要一段时间。但是，如果你相信自己的正直，相信自己，你就会度过难关。
如果你没有别的办法，那就这么干吧。如果你这样做了，你已经比大多数人都好了。
It seems to me…..
Go on a NO EXTERNAL VALIDATION diet. The more validation you seek from the people outside of you, the lesser internal security you are going to have. Stop posting your selfies so that you can get the dopamine rush of people messaging how cute you look and learn to validate yourself. Be very conscious and intentional about the reasons for the activities that you engage in.
Embrace active solitude. Just because you are in your house doesn't mean that you are spending time with yourself. If you are constantly distracted by your phone, TV, work etc, you are not actively spending time in self-reflection and mindfulness. Sit with your uncomfortable emotions. Daily take out 10- 15 mins where you witness the sensations in your body and acknowledge your feelings. Face yourself.
在我看来……
1、不要做外部验证。你越是寻求外界的认可，你的内部安全感就会越差。停止发布你的自拍，这样你就可以让人们知道你看起来有多可爱，并学会自己验证自己。要知道自己为什么要做某件事。
2、拥抱积极的孤独。仅仅因为你在家并不意味着你在和自己在一起。如果你经常被手机、电视、工作等分心，你就不会积极地花时间在自我反省和专注上。带着你不舒服的情绪坐着。每天拿出10-15分钟，在那里你见证你身体的感觉，并承认你的感受。面对自己。
Do hard things daily. Take on a challenge. Set some aims for yourself. Human beings are built for struggle. A challenge fortified you. Stop chasing impulsive pleasure and start doing things that make you proud of yourself. Those things usually aren't about following your bliss, they are about having a code of conduct for yourself and keeping promises to yourself. Self-discipline is the initiator of self-love.
3、把你的日常生活提高一个档次。说到自我护理，我指的不是泡泡浴和按摩。我的意思是，让日记意识到你的创伤和挫折。深入挖掘你的过去，围绕改变生活的事件构建叙事，并将这些教训融入你的个性。不要让你的过去成为人质。质疑你的局限性信念，并采取一种成长心态——“我可以实现我下定决心的任何事情”。如果你不愿意投入工作，积极的肯定毫无意义。
4、每天做艰难的事情。接受挑战。为自己设定一些目标。人是为奋斗而生的。一个挑战让你更加坚强。停止追逐冲动的快乐，开始做一些让你感到自豪的事情。这些事情通常不是关于追随你的幸福，而是关于为自己制定行为准则和遵守对自己的承诺。自律是自爱的发起者。
Extend a lot of compassion, kindness, and unconditional love towards yourself. Be gentle with yourself. It doesn't mean letting yourself off the hook but it does mean not beating yourself up to the point that you keep dwelling in unhealthy shame. Practice inner-child and forgiveness meditations. Forgive yourself. Don't shame your younger versions. Learn from them and be grateful to them.
5、学会说“不”。为自己和他人设定界限。说实话。为自己站起来。练习自信，学会代表自己谈判。知道你的需求值得被满足。把自己当成你真正关心的人（不要把这与傲慢和有资格混淆）。
6、向自己表达很多同情、善良和无条件的爱。对自己温柔一点。这并不能让你摆脱困境，但也能让你从一种不健康的羞耻感中脱离出来。关爱内心的孩子和宽恕、冥想。原谅自己。不要为曾经年轻的你感到羞耻。向他们学习并感激他们。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Invest in yourself. Knowledge + skills = Power. If you're getting better every day no one will be able to touch you. That's how you beat'em. Rise so high they can't reach you with their crap anymore.
7、不要在内部使用拒绝。拒绝往往与偏好/兼容性不匹配有关，而不是表明你不值得。你总是可以做一些事情来增加你的价值并变得更有吸引力。然而，如果你开始做事情只是为了赢得别人的认可，把自己变成一个椒盐卷饼来取悦别人，那你就是在羞辱自己，不接受自己的真实性。
8、投资自己。知识+技能=力量。如果你每天都在变好，没有人能碰撞到你。这就是你打败他们的方式。爬得这么高，他们再也无法用他们的垃圾接近你了。
Psychology says, when you start taking care of yourself, you start feeling better, you start looking better & you even start to attract better. It all starts with YOU! :)
9、一旦你接受了自己的缺点，就没有人能用它们来对付你。
10、心理学说，当你开始照顾自己时，你会感觉更好，看起来更好，甚至会吸引更多的人。一切都从你开始！
Because your self-esteem is inversely proportional to your tolerance for crappy behaviours in life.
People tolerate all sorts of dysfunction and unhealthy behaviours in life not out of love, generosity, kindness, or empathy, but because of their poor self-image and subconscious hatred towards themselves.
High self-esteem ensures that you only invite relationships in life that meets your standards and help you grow. It ensures that you don't settle for relationships that are harmful to your mind, body and soul.
Kindly consider it…..
为什么自尊如此重要？？？？？
1、因为你的自尊与你对生活中糟糕行为的容忍度成反比。
2、人们容忍生活中的各种功能障碍和不健康行为并不是出于爱、慷慨、善良或同理心，而是因为他们糟糕的自我形象和对自己的潜意识仇恨。
3、高自尊确保你在生活中只邀请符合你标准的关系，并帮助你成长。它确保你不会满足于那些对你的身心有害的关系。
好好想想这些……
Self-confidence :
Practice as you’ve never won, and perform as you’ve never lost.
Not everyone will like you, and that’s OK. It’s the same with you. Ask do you like everybody. It's okay. It's how things work.
Don't take things so personally. What people say about you is a reflection of them, not you.
What others think of you is none of your business. Treat yourself like you are the King of the world.
There is no price tag on confidence. The only way to have it is to unapologetically be you.
Focus on your track - Don’t feel lost in competition as you think I’m 21 oh what to do? Don’t be depressed. Everyone has different timings and it’s just that in the end, you need to be successful. Demotivation comes when we see he got a job, she goes this. You feel low and low. Focus on you and your journey.
自信：
1、像从未赢过一样练习，像从未输过一样表演。
2、不是每个人都会喜欢你，这没关系。你也一样。问自己你喜欢每个人吗？没关系。这就是事物的运作方式。
3、不要把问题都归因于自己。人们对你的评价是他们的反映，而不是你。
4、别人怎么看你不关你的事。像对待世界之王一样对待自己。
5、信心是无价之宝。拥有它的唯一方式就是做一个毫无歉意的你。
6、专注于你的赛道——不要在比赛中迷失。比如你想：我都21岁了哦，该怎么办？不要沮丧。每个人都有不同的时机，只是最后，你需要成功。丧气来自他找到工作了，我也应该如此。你的感觉越来越差，关注你自己和你的旅程。
Spend time with people who like you and care about you.
Ignore or stay away from people who put you down or treat you badly.
Do things that you enjoy and that you do well.
Give and receive compliments with sincerity and grace.
Develop your skills. Don't compare and despair.
Set goals and work to achieve them. Focus on your inner Rockstar.
Take yourself seriously so others can take it. If not you then who will? Stand for yourself otherwise how can you stand for others?
If you've made a mistake, apologize immediately, and then move on.
Always do what you believe is right.
Write positive traits about yourself in a journal.
The longest relationship in life is with you so better protect that.
自尊：自信来自自尊。
1、花时间和喜欢你、关心你的人在一起。
2、忽视或远离那些贬低你或虐待你的人。
3、做你喜欢的事，做得好的事。
4、真诚而优雅地给予和接受赞美。
5、发展你的技能。不要比较和绝望。
6、设定目标并努力实现。关注你内心的摇滚明星。
7、认真对待自己，别人才会认真对待你。如果你不能认真对待自己，谁会如此？站在自己的立场上，否则你怎么能站在别人的立场上？
8、如果你犯了错误，立即道歉，然后继续向前。
9、永远做你认为正确的事。
10、在日记中写下自己的积极品质。
11、生命中最长久的关系就是和自己在一起，所以最好保护好它。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
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Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has identified a way to increase confidence and alter your hormone profile in such situations. This can be done in just 2 minutes.
The simple exercises help configure your brain to deal with any challenge you might face by re-configuring cortisol (stress hormone), and testosterone levels (+20%) when you're nervous or insecure.
在2分钟内增强信心。
你即将进入一个有压力的环境吗？
哈佛商学院教授艾米·库迪（AmyCuddy）发现了一种方法，可以在这种情况下增强信心并改变你的激素水平。这只需2分钟即可完成。
当你紧张或不安全时，这些简单的锻炼可以帮助你的大脑重新配置皮质醇（应激激素）和睾酮水平（+20%），以应对你可能面临的任何挑战。
Exercise 1:
Find a private and quiet place and really stretch yourself out. Make yourself as big as you can. Stand with your legs spread and hands rising high above your head (if possible for 2 minutes). The result: testosterone levels increase by 20% (scientifically proven), and cortisol levels drop.
Exercise 2:
If you are sitting... lean back with your hands at the back of your head and place your legs on a desk or other high obxt.
The most effective Power Poses are BIG ones, so make sure you stretch your body as much as possible when completing the exercises.
私下：
练习1：
找一个私密安静的地方，好好舒展一下自己。尽可能地让自己变得高大。双脚张开，双手举过头顶站立（如有可能，保持2分钟）。结果：睾丸激素水平增加了20%（科学证明），皮质醇水平下降。
练习2：
如果你坐着……双手放在脑后向后靠，双腿放在桌子或其他高处物体上。
最有效的力量姿势是大的姿势，所以在完成练习时要确保尽可能地伸展身体。
Tone down your postures when in public. You don't want to dominate everyone. Professor Cuddy recommends;
Lifting your chin
Standing straight and tall
Resting your hands on the back of a chair
Using open hand gestures
The Power Posing Habit
Start thinking more about your body and displaying confidence as often as possible. Open up... take up more space. As a result, your hormone levels will re-configure and you will feel more confident.
当众：
在公共场合，要缓和你的姿势。你不想主宰所有人。Cuddy教授建议：
1、抬起下巴
2、挺直腰板
3、把手放在椅背上
4、使用开放手势
强势者的习惯性姿势：
开始更多地考虑你的身体，尽可能多地表现出自信。伸展……占用更多空间。因此，你的激素水平将重新配置，你会感到更加自信。
Sainyam Agrawal
A very important thing we all need in life to grow in life. With confidence you have already won before you have even started.
First of all you need to do things which you don’t like & is out of your comfort zone. This a a very straight forward approach but very tough to follow at times.
Once you start doing it you might fail in some but will definitely win at some. This boosts lot of confidence your mental barrier will brake.
A good way to start with is start exercising what happens is you will feel better from inside and when this happens you will automatically be more confident.
Knowledge is something which also boost your self esteem . For example if you are good at Math's or physics etc. and I start to talk about that you automatically feel you have good control over the subject and feel confident.
这是一件非常重要的事情，我们都需要在生活中成长。如果有自信，你甚至还没有开始就已经赢了。
首先，你需要做一些你不喜欢的事情，这超出了你的舒适区。这是一种非常直接的方法，但有时很难遵循。
一旦你开始这样做，你可能会在某些方面失败，但肯定会在某些方面获胜。这会增强你的信心，你的精神障碍会停止。
一个好方法是开始锻炼，你会从内心感觉更好，当这种情况发生时，你会自动变得更有信心。
知识也能提升你的自尊心。例如，如果你擅长数学或物理等，我开始谈论，你会自动感觉到你对这门学科有很好的控制力和自信。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处