在婚礼上，你见过有人喊反对吗？
Have you ever witnessed an obxtion at a wedding?
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Have you ever witnessed an obxtion at a wedding?
在婚礼上，你见过有人喊反对吗？
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As an attorney, I had someone served with an involuntary bankruptcy at his wedding.
He had refused to pay both child and spousal support for years. He worked for his daddy and claimed he wasn't making any money. Almost everything he owned was in someone else's name, except for the house.
He drove expensive cars, had a boat, a couple of quads and dressed in very upscale clothing.
He would eat at the finest restaurants and travel all over the world.
作为一名律师，我曾经让一个人在他的婚礼上被迫破产。
多年来，他拒绝支付子女和配偶的抚养费。他为他爸爸工作，声称自己没有赚到钱。除了那所房子，他所有的财产几乎都登记在别人的名义下。
他开着昂贵的汽车，有一艘船，几辆四轮马车，穿着非常高档的衣服。
他会在最好的餐馆吃饭，并周游世界。
I filed an involuntary bankruptcy against him to get the equity in the house to pay for the support.
He kept dodging my process server. His car would be at his work, but they would claim he was not there. Same at home, his car would be there, but his girlfriend would claim he was not home.
I spent about six months trying to get him served, when his children (the ones he refused to support) got an invitation to his wedding.
然而，他的前妻几乎不能赚钱养活她自己和她的孩子们，他们也是他的孩子。
我对他提出了非自愿破产申请，以获得他所住房子的资产净值来支付赡养费。
他一直在躲避我的司法文书递送员。他的车停在他工作的地方，但其他人会声称他不在那里。同样在家里，他的车也会在那里，但他的女友会声称他不在家。
我花了大约六个月的时间试图给他送司法文书，直到他的孩子（那些他拒绝抚养的孩子）收到了参加他的婚礼的邀请。
He came to the door, the process server opened the box and, “Mr. So-and-so, you have been served.” He blew a cork and started screaming at the process server using every cuss word you could imagine.
During one of the court proceedings, he told the judge that I ruined his wedding and his honeymoon, to which I replied that was OK because he had ruined his children's lives.
Daddy came up with the money for the back support and my attorney fees. I also got a lien on the house for all future support payments. I then dismissed the bankruptcy.
I really dislike anyone who will not support their own children, especially when they have the ability to do so.
I consider this to be one of my finest cases.
我把司法文书递送员打扮成一个送货小姐，带着一个大礼盒。门口有人说他们会代替接受这份礼物，但司法文书递送员告诉他们，这份礼物太特别了，必须亲自送过去。
那个男人走到门口，司法文书递送员打开盒子：“某某先生，你已经被起诉了。”他气得七窍生烟，开始用你能想到的每一个脏话对着司法文书递送员尖叫。
在一次法庭诉讼中，他告诉法官我毁了他的婚礼和蜜月，对此我回答说没关系，因为他毁了他孩子的生活。
他爸爸拿出钱来给予他支持，并且支付了我的律师费。我还获得了房子的留置权，以支付未来所有的赡养费。然后我撤销了破产申请。
我真的不喜欢任何不抚养自己孩子的人，尤其是当他们有能力这样做的时候。
我认为这是我最好的案子之一。
Oh, Boy! That happened to me.
Let me give you a bit of context:
My then girlfriend and I had been dating for about 5 years when we finally decided to marry.
On the day of the wedding, we were at my parents’ house with some close family and our closest friends.
Everything was going as expected and the law officer driving the ceremony was reading the document we were about to sign in order to be pronounced “husband and wife”.
哦，少年！这发生在我身上。
让我给你一点背景知识：
当我们最终决定结婚时，我和当时的女友已经交往了大约5年。
婚礼那天，我们和一些亲密的家人和最亲密的朋友在父母家汇合。
一切都如期进行，主持婚礼的法律官员正在阅读我们即将签署的文件，以便宣布为“夫妻”。
“Mr. Blah blah blah…of profession Systems’ Engineer born at xxxxx and Miss blah blah blah of profession xxxxx from xxx” plus some legal stuff that no one was really paying attention, or so I thought.
Then, the lady asks the infamous question:
“Does anyone have any obxtion?”
And for everyone's surprise, a “Yes, I have one” was clearly heard.
In that instant, the time and everything else just froze. You would have been able to cut the air of the room with a knife. Everyone was shocked, silently looking for the source of those words. The only things moving in the room were our guests’ eyes.
它是这样的：
“诸如此类……一个专业系统工程师，诸如此类的先生，出生于xxxxx，诸如此类的小姐来自xxxxx”，加上一些没有人真正关注的法律问题，或者我是这么想的。
然后，这位女士问了一个臭名昭著的问题：
“有人反对吗？”
令所有人惊讶的是，一句“是的，我反对”清晰地被听到了。
在那一瞬间，时间和其他一切都冻结了。你可以感受到房间里的紧张气氛。每个人都感到震惊，默默地寻找着这些话的来源。房间里唯一能动的东西就是我们客人的眼睛。
It turned out that the obxtion came from no less than the bride herself, and then she added in her most natural tone:
“He is not a Systems Engineer. His speciality is Computer Engineer”
First a general sense of relief and then everyone just burst out laughing.
We have been married for more than 15 years and the document still says “Systems Engineer”
Did I tell you that my wife is a lawyer?
Edit 1: Yesterday I was going through our wedding photos and it was very funny when I found out that while everyone was looking around, the bride’s eyes were fixated on the documents!
终于，我们找到了！
事实证明，反对意见来自新娘本人，然后她以最自然的语气补充道：
“他不是系统工程师。他的专业是计算机工程师。”
此刻大家都松了口气，然后大家都大笑起来。
我们结婚15年多了，文件上仍然写着“系统工程师”
我告诉过你我妻子是律师吗？
编辑：昨天我在看我们的结婚照片，很有趣的是，当我发现每个人都在环顾四周时，新娘的眼睛一直都在盯着这些文件！
Not at the wedding, but the night before. I had kicked my husband out after he committed an unforgivable crime and a few months later found a job as a personal assistant to a blind man. About 8 years later, I was still working for him and he got an invitation to a wedding, the daughter of another of his employees whom I did not know. As his personal assistant, I took care of personal stuff after his work hours. He asked if I would take him to the wedding and I agreed. The night before the wedding he finally remembered to show me the invitation as I needed to know time, expected dress, and location. I was surprised to see the groom had the same first, middle, and last name as my husband. I called the mother if the bride as that's who my employer knew, asked her a few questions. “Does groom look like…? Is his birthday…? Does he have a brother named…?” Yup. It was him. “Do you and your daughter know he is married? And he has two kids?” The wedding was called off. The bride and her mother must have made 200 phone calls to let all their guests know, not to mention caterers, servers, musicians, dj,… you know how a huge wedding is. On Monday afternoon I was served divorce papers.
Why hadn't I divorced him earlier? I could only work part time as I had two kids with disabilities. I couldn't afford it.
不是在婚礼上，而是在婚礼的前一天晚上。我的丈夫犯下了不可原谅的罪行，几个月后我找到了一份盲人私人助理的工作，之后我把他赶了出去。大约8年后，我仍在为这位盲人工作，他收到了一份参加婚礼的邀请，这是他的另一位员工的女儿，我不认识他。作为他的私人助理，我在他下班后为他处理个人事务。他问我是否愿意带他去参加婚礼，我答应了。婚礼前一天晚上，他终于记得给我看了邀请函，因为我需要知道时间、预期穿着和地点。我惊讶地发现新郎的名字、中间名和姓氏都和我丈夫一样。新娘是我雇主认识的人，我给她打了电话，问了她几个问题。“新郎长得像吗？他的生日是吗？他有一个名叫…”的兄弟吗？”是的。是他。“你和你女儿知道他结婚了吗？他有两个孩子？”婚礼被取消了。新娘和她的母亲一定打了200个电话让所有的客人都知道，更不用说宴会承办人、服务员、音乐家、dj……你知道婚礼有多么盛大。周一下午，我收到了离婚文件。
为什么我没有早点和他离婚？我只能做兼职，因为我有两个残疾的孩子。我负担不起。
I obxted at my wedding when I found out my groom hit on my sister the night before the wedding. he had not met my sister before the evening dinner and he e never was told who she was. (we never got around to introduce everybody to everyone else.) To embarrass him and his parents and all the guests he invited, I said I obxt because he tried to seduce my sister. Everyone in the bridal party laughed while the grooms side tried to hide their faces. I slapped in the face as I left the altar.
我在婚礼提出过反对，因为我发现我的新郎在婚礼前一天晚上挑逗了我的妹妹。他在晚餐前没有见过我妹妹，也没有人告诉他她是谁。（我们从来没有抽出时间把对方介绍给其他所有人。）为了让他和他的父母以及他邀请的所有客人感到尴尬，我说我反对，因为他试图勾引我的妹妹。婚礼上的每个人都笑了，而新郎一方则试图遮住自己的脸。我离开教堂时打了他一巴掌。
The boyfriend of the bride turned up at the wedding… to warn the groom about her. Sounds bizarre, right? But it actually happened!
When my college mate gave us her wedding card, we were shocked to see the groom’s name. It was different from the one we had seen her romancing for an entire year of college. We had met the guy, had often teased him as jiju (brother in law), and had actually set him as the benchmark for how guys should be. He was that perfect.
新娘的男友出现在婚礼上……警告新郎要小心新娘。听起来很奇怪，对吧？但它确实发生了！
当我的大学同学给我们她的结婚邀请时，我们看到新郎的名字时很惊讶。这与我们看到她在大学整整一年的浪漫经历是不同的。我们见过那个家伙，经常取笑他叫 jiju（姐夫），实际上把他作为衡量男人应该是什么样的人的基准。他就是那么完美。
Fast forward to the wedding day. The boyfriend came to the reception, met the groom and showed him messages from the bride, his ex. Messages which explained how she would continue seeing him after marriage. She had explained that she was marrying to please her parents and that her husband would never ever be her love.
当我们试探性地问起邀请卡上的名字时，女孩平静地告诉我们，他是她父母的选择。她未来的丈夫是她父母朋友的儿子……生活安定，生活舒适。她的男朋友没有那么成功，因此她不能冒险。当时我们几乎无话可说。
快进到婚礼那天。她男朋友来到招待会，见到了新郎，并向他展示了新娘的信息，以及她前男友的信息，这些留言解释了新娘婚后将如何继续与他见面。她解释说，她结婚是为了取悦父母，她的丈夫永远不会是她的爱人。
Threatening to use an innocent girl as a pawn for her ulterior motive was the breaking point for the boyfriend I guess. Cos’ that was the precise moment when things went south. Everyone started talking at once! There was cacophony all around. We slipped away in the ensuing drama.
No points for guessing how the wedding ceremony ended!
“如果只是信息的话，我会置之不理。但你妻子威胁要给我看一些她拍的我妹妹的照片，以此来勒索我继续这段恋情。我不在乎她有我妹妹的什么照片。但我知道你被人骗了。你有权知道你和一个什么样的人结婚。”
我想，威胁要用一个无辜的女孩作为她别有用心的棋子，是她男友想法转变的点。因为那正是事情恶化的时刻。大家立刻开始说话！到处都是刺耳的声音。我们在接下来的戏中溜走了。
没必要猜测婚礼是如何结束的！
I was officiating at a big fancy wedding in the state capital years ago. Lots of limos, jewelry and the like. The orchestra played about an hour warmup, three opera pros did opening arias, the bridesmaids were flown in on the backs of angels, you get the picture. I wore black leather Chuck Taylor's under my robe. Bride comes down in a $20,000 dress/ moo moo covered in a bazillion freshwater pearls to cover her 350 pound frx. (SHE HAS CHOCOLATE ON HER TEETH and her dress.) Little groom is all smiles and high as a Kite.
Things go great until we get to THE QUESTION. BOY STANDS UP in the back third and tells, “SHE STILL LOVES ME.”
几年前，我在州首府主持一场盛大的豪华婚礼。很多豪华轿车、珠宝之类的东西。管弦乐队演奏了大约一个小时的热身曲，三位歌剧专业人员唱了开场咏叹调，伴娘们坐在天使的背上飞了进来，你明白的。我的长袍下穿着查克·泰勒的黑色皮革长袍。新娘穿着一件价值2万美元的连衣裙，上面镶着一颗价值数百万美元的淡水珍珠，盖住了她350磅的身躯。（她的牙齿和衣服上都沾着巧克力。）小新郎满脸笑容，极度兴奋。
在我们找到问题之前，一切都很顺利。男孩站在第三排后排，告诉我：“她仍然爱我。”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Brides dad died two years later. She got all his millions. Year later she chocked to death on Chocolate. Died. Skinny husband is now worth 40 million. He now sleeps with swimsuit models.
这里充满了痛苦。我告诉他，我将私下听取他的反对意见，并邀请他和新郎新娘一起回到舞台上。我们讨论她的感受。他找到了新的理解。我请了两个伴郎护送他上车，确保他安全离开。我向观众讲话，告诉他们这件事不再是一个问题，我们继续。
新娘爸爸两年后去世。她得到了他的亿万家财。一年后，她被巧克力噎死了。死了。这位皮包骨的丈夫现在身价4000万。他现在和泳衣模特睡在一起。
Yes, at my youngest brother’s wedding. It was a formal church wedding and I was the best man standing near my brother, and his bride to be was there next to him. The priest went through the long traditional Mass. As the priest was about to administer the vows, he asked if anyone obxts to this holy matrimony. At that instant there was a large cry of “NOooo!” from the back of the church. Every head in the church turned to see who was obxting when all they caught was my wife running out of the church holding our two-year-old son. Apparently, my son wanted to draw in the Bible and took exception to my wife taking the Bible away from him. After a small chuckle, the ceremony continued without the obxtor’s presence. My brother is still happily married after 15 years so I guess my son got that one wrong.
是的，在我哥哥的婚礼上。这是一场正式的教堂婚礼，我是站在我哥哥身边的伴郎，他的准新娘就在他旁边。牧师进行了漫长的传统弥撒。当牧师即将主持婚礼时，他问是否有人反对这场神圣的婚礼。就在那一刻，有人大喊“不~~~！”，声音从教堂后面传来。教堂里的每个人都转过身来，看看是谁在反对，他们看到的是我妻子抱着我们两岁的儿子跑出教堂。很明显，我儿子想画圣经，反对我妻子把圣经从他身边拿走。在一声轻笑后，仪式继续进行，反对者不在场。我哥哥结婚15年后仍然很幸福，所以我猜我儿子错了。
Yes I have. And it came from the most powerful voice in the universe.
My best friend from high school was getting married to a woman who had tricked him into it. At least that’s what we all thought. We took him out many times to try to get this across, but he wasn’t hearing it. He was a man of honor. He got her pregnant. He now had a duty to ruin his life in order to “do the right thing.”
Now, I’m all for doing the right thing. In fact, I live by the motto “Do what you should, not what you can.” We were both in the military. He was an F-16 pilot and I was a Marine. We live and die for honor. But what should you do when you are tricked by a conniving bitch who was marrying you for money and status? I’ll leave you to answer the question.
I digress. So, I’m standing next to him in the church. When she appears in the doorway, I lean over and whisper “It’s not too late. Let’s go.” He didn’t even acknowledge that he heard it. I could see his jaw muscles clench as he literally stood at attention awaiting the bullet coming down the aisle.
是的，我碰到过。它来自宇宙中最强大的声音。
我高中时最好的朋友要嫁给一个骗了他的女人。至少我们都是这么想的。我们多次带他出去，试图让他明白这一点，但他没有听到。他是一个正直的人。他让她怀孕了。他现在有责任为了“做正确的事”而毁掉自己的生活
现在，我完全支持做正确的事。事实上，我的座右铭是“做你应该做的，而不是你能做的。”。我们都是军人。他是一名F-16飞行员，我是一名海军陆战队飞行员。我们为荣誉而生，为荣誉而死。但是，当你被一个为了金钱和地位而嫁给你的婊子欺骗时，你该怎么办？你来回答这个问题。
我离题了。所以，我在教堂里站在他旁边。当她出现在门口时，我俯身低语道：“还不算太晚，我们走吧。”他甚至不承认自己听到了。我可以看到他的下巴肌肉紧绷，因为他几乎是立正等待子弹从过道上落下。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
We all went silent. My friend looked at me and I moved my head in an urgent “come on, let’s get out of here!” He turned his head away. But, after about 30 more seconds of silence, the minister continued and my friend has been locked in this awful marriage going on thirty years now. His honor will not allow him to leave her because he made the oath to stay.
So, it wasn’t any of us who obxted, it was God Himself saying “Dick (his name) get the fuck out of there!”
I think that counts.
那是西雅图的一个暴风雨之夜；雨和闪电席卷了整个城市。当牧师说出这些话时，闪电击中了教堂旁边。雷声如此之大，震动了整个教堂。我感觉到压力波在整个建筑中传播，也在我身上传播。
我们都沉默了。我的朋友看着我，我急忙摇头：“快点，我们离开这里！”。他把头转过去。但是，在又沉默了约30秒后，牧师开始继续。我的朋友被困在这场持续了30年的可怕婚姻中。法官大人不会允许他离开她，因为他发誓要留下来。
所以，不是我们中的任何人反对，而是上帝自己在说“迪克（他的名字）快他妈的走啊！”
我认为这很重要。
This is what I mean by “tricked.” Again, I think that counts.
编辑：对于那些建议他应该使用避孕套的人：我非常同意，避孕是双方的责任。然而，这位女士实际上告诉他，由于童年受伤，她不能生孩子。她没有子宫。因此，没有必要实行节育。
这就是我所说的“被骗”的意思，重复一遍，我认为这很重要。
As a Judge, I had the opportunity to perform many civil marriages.
At one, when I asked “the question”, the Groom raised his hand. I said, “Sorry, you can’t obxt. You already signed all the documents.” He responded< “I had to say it. This will probably be the last time I get asked if I obxt to anything.” Obviously he was kidding (and so was I).
作为一名法官，我有机会主持过许多民事婚姻。
有一次，当我问“这个问题”时，新郎举起了手。我说：“对不起，你不能反对。你已经签署了所有的文件。”他回答说：“我不得不这么说。这可能是我最后一次被问到是否反对任何事情。”显然他是在开玩笑（我也是）。
I don't know if this counts but God obxted at my friend's wedding.
I had a lot of my own reservations about the wedding and had a lot of conversations with my friend about how sure she was and why now, etc. My friend and her husband had only known each other for a few months. They were only 20 years old. He proposed during one of her depressed periods (she's bipolar) in order to “cheer her up”!!! She was positive that this was what she wanted and it was going to happen no matter what.
我不知道这算不算，但上帝在我朋友的婚礼上反对了。
我自己对婚礼有很多保留意见，并与我的朋友就她有多确定以及为什么现在等问题进行了很多对话。我的朋友和她的丈夫认识才几个月。他们才20岁。他在她的一个抑郁时期（她患有躁郁症）求婚是为了“让她振作起来”！！！她确信这正是她想要的，不管以后发生什么，都不重要了。
Fast forward to seven years and two kids later, the groom decided that he was tricked into the wedding and trapped into the marriage. He walked away leaving her to raise their two boys alone.
Moral of the story: listen to God when he says that you shouldn't get married.
婚礼那天到了。这是一个户外仪式，可以看到美丽的湖景。不幸的是，下起了倾盆大雨。我们搭建了一个活动帐篷，所以我们至少保持了半干燥状态。我们进入了仪式的反对部分，然后……砰！最响亮的雷声。帐篷摇晃得很厉害，以至于其中一根帐篷杆发生了一点小小的位移，刚好能完全浸湿新郎的妹妹。我们都面面相觑，尴尬地笑了起来，牧师开玩笑地问我们是否应该继续。我们继续并完成了仪式。
快进到七年她生了两个孩子之后，新郎认定自己是被骗去参加婚礼并被困在婚姻中的。他离开了，留下她独自抚养他们的两个儿子。
这个故事的寓意是：当上帝说你不应该结婚时，你要听从他的话。
I haven’t, but one of my friends has. So the story goes like this:
My friend was also the bride’s friend. The bride and the groom were together since college before deciding to get married after too many years of dating. Unfortunately they seemed to grow apart despite still being in a relationship with one another, and to top it off, the bride knew that the groom was actually in love with someone else months before the wedding took place. They decided to sort out their problems and went on with the wedding anyway.
我没有，但我的一个朋友有。故事是这样的：
我的朋友也是新娘的朋友。新娘和新郎从大学开始就在一起，在交往多年后决定结婚。不幸的是，尽管他们仍然保持着关系，但他们似乎变得疏远了。最要命的是，新娘知道新郎在婚礼前几个月就已经爱上了其他人。他们决定解决问题，无论如何还是继续举行婚礼。
As you can imagine, the situation was super awkward. Both the bride’s and the groom’s parents were speechless and super angry but I don’t know exactly how they overcame the situation. All I knew was the groom and his family finally decided to leave the place altogether, leaving the bride’s family and the other guests to attend the party.
在巴厘岛举行的婚礼上（多么浪漫的地方，不是吗？），在婚礼上，当他们该交换誓言的时候，新娘突然提出反对，这让所有人都感到震惊。尤其是新郎，大为震惊。她说她不想嫁给一个对她来说不是百分之百的男人，她的婚姻不应该建立在义务和责任的基础上，因此她取消了婚礼，但随后说，欢迎所有人（除了新郎，她要求他不要参加招待会）留下来参加招待会，因为一切都已经付过款了。新娘最后友好地拥抱了新郎，同时大哭一场，并要求他不要参加本该举行的招待会。
正如你所能想象的，情况非常尴尬。新娘和新郎的父母都哑口无言，非常愤怒，但我不知道他们是如何克服这种情况的。我只知道新郎和他的家人最终决定离开这个地方，留下新娘的家人和其他客人参加聚会。