Chris Ebbert
Fascinating question.

有趣的问题。
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Having lived in China for several years, and being married to a Chinese wife, I think my first impulse is to say, “don’t expect to ever fully understand Chinese culture.”

我在中国居住过几年，也娶了中国老婆，我认为我对这个问题的第一反应还是说，“不要期望完全理解中国文化。”

Not because they are so hard to understand, but because that thing we call China is a huge place, with a long history, and it would be wrong to expect to ever fully grasp what it means to be Chinese, or do things the Chinese way.

不是因为中国文化难以理解，而是中国幅员辽阔，历史悠久，如果妄图完全掌握中国人（的思维方式），或是中国式的行事作风，那就大错特错了。

All that hedging aside, I do think you could be pragmatic about it.

撇开这些模棱量两可的，我认为你能对这个问题有更贴切的理解。

Presuming you are simply trying to get on in modern day China’s culture, I would give you the following list of tips:

假设你只是想了解当今中国的文化，我给你以下几条建议：

1. Know your place; in China, family always come first. Then come relatives and old friends. New friends are welcome, but won’t be prioritized.

1. 知道你的位置；在中国，总是以家庭为重。其次是亲戚和老友。新朋友是受欢迎的，但不是最重要的。

2. Food is China’s unofficial religion. You will be asked “have you eaten?” in the same way you will be asked “how are you doing?” in the anglosphere, and they mean it. Never downplay the importance of a meal. They dedicate an amazing amount of time, resources, and energy to making, eating, and procuring meals. If you’re French, you’ll understand.

2. 食物在中国有着不可言说的重要意义。你会被问道“吃了吗？”就像你会被问“你还好吗？”在盎格鲁文化圈，他们确实是这个意思。别低估一顿饭的重要性。他们要花费惊人的大量时间、资源和精力来准备、烹饪和享用饭菜。如果你是法国人，你应该会明白的。

3. “Saving Face” is everything. There are a hundred ways in which the Chinese can acknowledge or humiliate you, and it all boils down to small details like who sits where, when do you get to speak, what sort of dishes are served… if you can read that code, you know your place with them.

3. “有面子”至关重要。中国人有一百种赞许或者羞辱你的方式，归结于细微之处，就比如谁坐在那里，你什么时候应该发言，上什么菜等等。如果你能读懂这些之后的隐藏含义，你就能知道你在他们心中的分量了。

4. Negotiation; the Chinese will offer you a choice even when it is clear what you want. It’s one of the prime directives of China. The other person must always have a choice. That way, you may find yourself playing cat and mouse with other pedestrians many more times than you would in the western world, because one indication of intended direction just isn’t enough; no, you will have to swerve around fellow pedestrians in the last moment, because they will keep offering you options till the last second. Whenever I sit in a restaurant with my wife, she drives me crazy with the question “… or would you like THAT dish instead?” To which my retort tends to be, “no, goddammit! I want the thing I said I wanted the first time!”

4. 协商；即使你明确表示想要什么了，中国人也会给你另一种选择。这在中国是头等重要法则：要给别人留个后路。不同于西方世界，你会发现在中国你经常在玩猫鼠游戏，最后一刻依旧在斡旋，因为直到这时候中国人还在不断给你提供选择。当我和我老婆在餐馆坐下来，她问了一个问题，把我逼疯了，那就是“……你想换那道菜吗？”我的本能反应是，“不，可恶！我只想要我一开始想要的那道菜！”

5. Final agreements are not final. How many times did we put a final signature under something, only to find ourselves reconvening over a lavish meal for a complete re-negotiation.

5. 最后的决定也不是板上钉钉。有多少时候我们已经决定了吃什么，然而最后经过一番深思熟虑后决定奢侈地搓一顿。

6. Change your spokesperson, and you start from scratch. The Chinese build relations with a company or institution based on a personal, individual relationship. Take that person away, and you are back to zero.

6. 换个“发言人”，你就得重新开始。中国公司（组织）内部的关系是点对点式特定私人关系。这个人走了，一切就得从零开始了。

7. Wastefulness is a sign of idiocy. I have yet to see a respected Chinese person with a wasteful attitude. Economy and efficiency are the pillars of Chinese success, and those who are successful there will possess them.

7. 浪费是种愚蠢的行径。我就没见过一个中国人铺张浪费还受人尊敬的。勤俭节约是中华民族成功的基石，那些成功人士也有这些品质。

8. Nature is beautiful - but only few have a realistic understanding of nature. Instead, there is a highly domesticated image of nature in China, sporting gyms, highly polished flower arrangements, and so on. The Chinese romanticize nature, but don’t understand it.

8. 自然是美丽的-但是在中国很少有人真正了解自然。取而代之，在中国有着雕琢过后的自然景象，例如运动场馆，修剪过的花朵陈列等等。中国人将自然浪漫化，却不懂自然是什么。

9. Outlooks are strangely short term and long term at the same time. The business world expects fast turnarounds and quick growth, while politics and others allow for long time spans for things to develop.

9.（中国）同时有着短期前景和长期远景。商业世界需要快的回报率和飞速增长，然而政策之类的事情则需要较长时间跨度来落地。

On the whole, I like Chinese culture. When you are there, you feel a new mellowness, surrounded by abundance and the dynamics of an old culture that is mercifully pragmatic and philosophical.

总而言之，我喜欢中国文化。当你身处其中时，总能品出新滋味。古老文明寓意深远，充满哲学趣味。而新旧文化不断交织，碰撞新活力，使中华文化大放异彩。