你如何鼓励自己去做那些你不喜欢但不得不做的事情?（二）

Anubhav Jain, Written 3 books on Life, living and motivation.
Whenever I have to visit awkward relatives or do some urgent filing work, I fix the task in my schedule for the day.
And keep that in my mind as To-do.
Doesn't matter how less critical it is, I consider it as the biggest task of the day.
Completing it means, my day's responsibility is fulfilled, and the day went successful.
This minder motivates me to get it done with and enjoy my life post that irritating task.

每当我不得不去拜访令人尴尬的亲戚或做一些紧急的文件工作时，我都会把这个任务安排在当天的日程表上。
并将其作为待办事项牢记在心。
不管它有多不重要，我认为它是一天中最大的任务。
完成它意味着，我一天的责任完成了，这一天过得很成功。
这个提醒会激励我完成这项令人讨厌的任务并享受我的生活。

Maria Mihova, Life & Relationship Coach, Writer on Quora (2020-present)
First of all, I make sure that I don't have too many of these in my life. If you have too many things in your life that you don't want to do, you have to make a significant change in your life. You have to like your job at least 3 days in a week, you have to like your relationship/partner most days and you have to love yourself all the time. If you think that this sounds like a joke to you, this is a sign that you need to change some things/people in your life. It will take time, money and you will have to make some tough decisions along the way but you will feel happier and more motivated.
For example, if you go to work every day but you don't like your job at all, you are doing things that you don't want to do for 40-60 or even more hours per week! There aren't many things that can be done with this situation, you can only slightly improve it, finding some good parts in it. But in general, you are not for this job and this job is not for you. The solution is to change something in this area of your life - the company you work for with a better one or the field that you are involved in. It is never too late to start a new career in order to be happier! When you like the core of your job, you will be able to accept some negative parts of this occupation (every job has some negative sides but we have to accept them as part of it).

首先，我要确保我的生活中不会有太多这样的事情。如果你的生活中有太多你不想做的事情，你必须在生活中做出重大改变。你必须每周至少有三天喜欢你的工作，你必须在大多数时间喜欢你的关系/伴侣，你必须一直爱自己。如果你觉得这听起来像个笑话，这是一个信号，表明你需要改变生活中的一些事情/人。这需要时间、金钱，你必须在这一过程中做出一些艰难的决定，但你会感到更快乐、更有动力。
例如，如果你每天都去上班，但你一点也不喜欢自己的工作，那么你每周要花40-60个小时甚至更多的时间做自己不想做的事情！在这种情况下可以做的事情不多，你只能稍微改进一下，从中找到一些好的部分。但总的来说，你不适合这份工作，这份工作也不适合你。解决方法是改变你生活中这一领域的一些事情——你所在的公司或你所从事的领域。为了更快乐，开始新的事业永远都不晚! 当你喜欢你的工作的核心部分时，你就能接受这个职业的一些消极部分(每一份工作都有一些消极的方面，但我们必须接受它们作为工作的一部分）。

Or you hate being around your partner. You don't want to spend time with him/her, you don't want to help them anymore, you don't want to compromise for them. Ask yourself actually what exactly do you want? Write a list of the qualities that your ideal partner would have. Put a tick everywhere your partner deserves it. Count the ticks. What is the result? If the reality is far away from your dreams, ask yourself who are the three or five really important qualities that you really insist on? Does your partner have them? If yes, the situation is actually very good. Nobody is perfect, including you.
Then you have three choices - to accept your partner as they are, to change your requirements for them or to change your partner with a more suitable one. You have attracted and chosen this person in the past, so it is your obligation to take responsibility for your choice and even to change it. After that change, you will have the enthusiasm to be with your partner, otherwise everything will get worse over time.

或者你讨厌和伴侣在一起。你不想和他/她在一起，你不想再帮助他们，你不想为他们妥协。问问自己你到底想要什么？ 列出你理想伴侣应该具备的品质。在你的伴侣应得的地方打勾。数一数滴答声。结果如何？如果现实离你的梦想很远，问问自己，你真正坚持的三个或五个真正重要的品质是什么？你的伴侣有吗？如果是的话，情况其实很好。没有人是完美的，包括你自己。
然后你有三个选择——接受你的伴侣，改变你对他们的要求，或者换一个更合适的伴侣。你在过去吸引并选择了这个人，所以你有义务为你的选择负责，甚至改变它。在这种改变之后，你会有和你的伴侣在一起的热情，否则随着时间的推移，一切都会变得更糟。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

I always put myself first (for a couple of years). No money, no other people or things are more important than me for me. This might be very difficult for you to accept because it requires you to change your mindset completely. But the results in my motivation, levels of energy and happiness are fenomenal, so I highly advise you to do that. The things that we don't want to do in many cases are things that other people want from us. We do too many things for others and we do things for us “when we have time”. But chances are, we almost never have time for ourselves and we get angry because we give too much, there is no balance in our life. Do things for others after you have taken care of your needs first. Also, give the things that you can give with an open heart, with no regrets. Let your regrets from the past guide you where to draw a line between your needs and the needs of others.

我总是把自己放在第一位（有几年）。对我来说，没有钱，没有其他人或事物比我更重要。这对你来说可能很难接受，因为它要求你彻底改变你的心态。但我的动力、精力和幸福感都是非同寻常的，所以我强烈建议你们这样做。在很多情况下，我们不想做的事情是其他人想从我们这里得到的。我们为别人做了太多的事情，我们“有时间”为自己做事情。
但很有可能，我们几乎没有属于自己的时间，我们会因为付出太多而生气，在我们的生活中没有平衡。先照顾好自己的需求后再为他人做事。同时，敞开心扉，无怨无悔地给予你所能给予的东西。让你对过去的悔恨指引你在自己的需要和他人的需要之间划清界限。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Ask yourself why you don't want to do something? Is it too difficult? Then, ask someone for help/advice, etc. and then do it. Is the task too big? Then you can divide it into small steps over time. Do you think that this is someone else's job? Speak with them or their boss, or with this family member and try to negotiate with them. Don't just sit and complain about the situation, neglecting this task. Do something about it.
Maybe this was one of your goals 5-10 years ago and you don't want it anymore but you don't realise it? Let it go and move on. If you have a list of your goals in life, a notebook for your to do lists for this week, for every day - this is great. But edit these lists on a regular basis. dexe some tasks and goals, add some fresh ones.
Life is too short to do things that you don't want to do all the time. Make completely new lists for your goals and dreams, if needed. When you have clarity in your head about what exactly you want and WHY you want it, you will have the right motivation for doing these things.

问问自己为什么你不想做某事? 是不是太难了? 然后，向别人寻求帮助/建议等等，然后去做。任务太大了吗? 然后随着时间的推移，你可以把它分成小步骤。你觉得这是别人的工作吗? 和他们或他们的老板，或这个家庭成员谈谈，试着和他们谈判。不要只是坐着抱怨现状，而忽视了这项任务。做点什么吧。
也许这是你5-10年前的一个目标，你不再想要它了，但你没有意识到? 让它过去，继续前进。如果你有一个生活目标的清单，一个记事本，列出这周要做的事情，每天要做的事情，这很好。但是要定期编辑这些列表。删除一些任务和目标，添加一些新的。
人生苦短，不要老是做你不想做的事。如果需要，为你的目标和梦想列一个全新的清单。当你头脑中清楚你到底想要什么，为什么想要的时候，你就会有做这些事情的正确动机。

Shai, black cats and painting <3
set a goal for yourself. i, for example, absolutely despise the idea of studying, like most people do. and i, again like most people, don’t have a goal that i want to work towards. so this might sound contradictory to you, but a goal doesn’t have to be “get into so and so university” or “become a doctor with a good salary” because sometimes, you don’t know what you want. sometimes, your goals might not be so clear. so, what you do is for example, in the subject of studying, you can make urself read about 10 pages with the goal that after you read, you can eat that yummy snack that’s been sitting on ur countertop. or after you finish working out, you can finally get back to watching that show that you really wanted to watch.
point is, a goal doesn’t have to be something huge, all that matters is that you find something that makes you want to work towards it.
apologies for the long answer!! to anyone reading this, i know doing things you don’t like is hard and tedious, but you’ll get through it.

为自己设定一个目标。例如，我和大多数人一样，对学习的想法不屑一顾。和大多数人一样，我也没有一个想要努力的目标。这听起来可能有点矛盾，但目标不一定是“进入某某大学”或“成为一名薪水不错的医生”，因为有时候，你并不知道自己想要什么。有时候，你的目标可能不是那么明确。所以，你要做的是，例如，在学习这个主题中，你可以让自己读大约10页，目标是读完之后，你可以吃到放在你工作台上的美味零食。或者在你锻炼完之后，你终于可以回去看你真正想看的节目了。
重点是，目标不一定要很大，重要的是你找到了让你想要朝着目标努力的东西。
抱歉回答得太长了！对任何读到这篇文章的人来说，我知道做你不喜欢的事情是困难和乏味的，但你会熬过去的。

Yolande, Intuitive Oracle Reader
Firstly, I empathize totally. Visiting in-laws, cleaning the house, working with a difficult person, a stressful job, breaking up from a relationship. These are all things we don't like doing but often have to. Here's how to get motivated:
Inject some fun into those things. Example, put some music on while doing dishes and vacuuming. Have a dance while you do the chore. Prepare some stupid jokes to share with your in-laws, your colleagues. When they act grumpy, turn the music up and ask if they want to dance! Haha.
Easier said than done, I understand. But start with the small things and work your way up. Life doesnt have to be so serious all the time. Even if you feel down, have a cry and put some dance music on to jump around to. Trust me, it definitely helps.
Go well my friend

首先，我完全感同身受。拜访姻亲，打扫房子，和难处的人一起工作，有压力的工作，分手。这些都是我们不喜欢做却不得不做的事情。下面是获得动力的方法:
给这些东西注入一些乐趣。例如，在洗碗和吸尘的时候放一些音乐。一边做家务一边跳舞。准备一些愚蠢的笑话，与你的姻亲、同事分享。如果他们脾气不好，就把音乐开大，问他们要不要跳舞! 哈哈。
我明白，说起来容易做起来难。但要从小事做起，一步步来。生活不必总是那么严肃。即使你感到沮丧，也可以哭一场，放一些舞曲，跟着跳。相信我，这绝对有帮助。
祝你好运，我的朋友

Komal Zambre, former Student
Well, the brain is a tricky organ we gotta trick it to do things we don't like. Never let your brain trick you and slave you for it to be the master. You need to learn to trick your brain and be its master. Never let your emotions drive your thinking.
I use two methods that help me trick my brain and get it back on track.
I feed my brain with things it likes and then make it do things I don't like. Like humans need the energy to do things. So first I do things that I like to get the energy for things I don't like. For example, I hate maths and doing maths bores me but I love English so before doing maths I start with English which gives me the energy to do maths. As simple of a trick as it looks.
Ever heard of 10 seconds rule well its basically a food myth but I use it here to trick my brain. When I really need to do something I don't wanna do I count backwards like 10..9..8.. and so on, take a deep breath and start doing it.
So here are a few things that work for me hope will work for you!!

大脑是一个棘手的器官，我们必须欺骗它去做我们不喜欢的事情。永远不要让你的大脑欺骗你，奴役你，让它成为你的主人。你需要学会欺骗你的大脑，成为它的主人。不要让你的情绪左右你的想法。
我用两种方法来欺骗我的大脑，让它回到正轨。
我用大脑喜欢的东西喂它，然后让它做我不喜欢的事情。就像人类需要能量去做事情一样。所以首先我做我喜欢的事情来为我不喜欢的事情获得能量。例如，我讨厌数学，做数学让我感到无聊，但我喜欢英语，所以在做数学之前，我先学英语，这给了我做数学的能量。就像看起来的那样简单。
听说过10秒法则吗? 它基本上是一个食物神话，但我用它来欺骗我的大脑。当我真的需要做一些我不想做的事情时，我会倒数10.9.8. 等等，深呼吸，然后开始做。
所以这里有一些对我有用的东西，希望对你也有用!

Barbara Young Capalbo, Bachelor of Science English & Psychology, University at Albany
How do I get myself to do things that I really don’t want to do?
Listening to music can help. Music reminds me that there are others in the world. It helps me relax and realize my own wants and needs are not that important. Why make a big deal out of doing things I really do not want to do? Why make everything more difficult than it needs to be?
Discipline is key. Focusing on long range goals, using “strategic thinking”, can make a difference, as former Navy Seal Jocko Willix suggests.
I do not always. When I don’t, I try to remind myself of relatives and friends and others who’ve passed away and that they didn’t not do stuff. They had no choice. They did what they had to do or else.

我怎么才能让自己去做我真的不想做的事情呢?
听音乐会有帮助。音乐提醒我世界上还有其他人。它帮助我放松，并意识到我自己的愿望和需求并不那么重要。为什么要做我真的不想做的事而大惊小怪呢？ 为什么要把每件事都弄得更复杂呢?
纪律是关键。正如前海豹突击队队员约科·威林克（Jocko Willix）所说，专注于长期目标，运用“战略思维”，可以带来改变。
我不总是这样。当我不这样做的时候，我试着提醒自己，亲戚、朋友和其他已经去世的人，他们没有做什么。他们别无选择。他们做了他们必须做的。

I guilt myself into action. Yes, guilt proves effective sometimes. I use my conscience to motivate myself as well. Although when I give in to allowing laziness or fear to rule, neither guilt nor conscience gets me to do anything I do not really want to do. I suffer the consequences after, the let down and regret, however, and when this happens not wanting to feel that lousy again can be quite motivating.
I think one of the best ways how to make yourself do something you really do not want to do is to simply get into a habit of doing what you do not feel like doing. Make not doing nonnegotiable.

我内疚地采取行动。是的，有时候内疚是有效的。我也用我的良心来激励自己。尽管当我屈服于让懒惰或恐惧支配时，内疚和良心都不会让我做任何我不想做的事情。然而，在经历了失望和遗憾之后，我会承受后果，当这种情况发生时，不想再次感到如此糟糕可能会很有动力。
我认为让自己做你真的不想做的事情的最好方法之一就是养成做你不想做的事情的习惯。让不做没有商量余地。

Change your attitude. Cultivate action. Focus on doing. Visualize what you want, then do not allow anything to distract you. Make up your mind how you want to be. Even people who like nothing better than to think and analyze instead can turn themselves from procrastinators into doers. When you change your attitude you find it’s less challenging to get yourself to do something you really don’t want to do.
Imagine yourself doing something truly badass.
Remind yourself of inspiring people throughout history who against all odds accomplished amazing things in life.
Remind yourself of people you admire from real life who have done or doing the impossible.
Put on some music you love. Be grateful. Pray. Say a prayer.

改变你的态度。培养行动。专注于做。想象你想要什么，然后不要让任何事情分散你的注意力。下定决心要成为怎样的人。即使是那些最喜欢思考和分析的人也能把自己从拖延者变成实干家。当你改变了你的态度，你会发现让自己做一些你真的不想做的事情变得不那么困难了。
想象你自己做了一件真正糟糕的事。
想想那些历史上那些克服困难，在生活中取得惊人成就的人。
想想在现实生活中那些让你崇拜的人，他们曾经做过或正在做的不可能的事。
放一些你喜欢的音乐。便应当心存感激。祈祷。

Mark Johnston, 25+ years of corporate management, HR, and executive leadership experience
Wow, the diversity of answers here is mind boggling. I personally have never been able to motivate myself. I’ve either been motivated by some drive inside of me to accomplish some purpose or by someone or something outside of me who inspired me to accomplish some purpose. The common denominator is purpose. Seems to me once you settle on your purpose you’ll find both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations to motivate you. My purpose is to serve God so there is no shortage of motivation, only shortage of time in the day. What’s your purpose? And are the things you are trying to do or don’t want to do inside or outside of your purpose? I recommend reading “a man’s search for meaning” by Viktor Frankle. You’re welcome.

哇，答案的多样性让人难以置信。我个人从来没有激励过自己。我要么是被我内心的动力驱使着去完成某个目标，要么是被我外在的某个人或某件事激励着去完成某个目标。共同点是目的。在我看来，一旦你确定了你的目标，你就会发现内在和外在的动机来激励你。我的目的是服侍神，所以每天不缺少动力，只缺少时间。你的目的是什么? 你想做或不想做的事情是否符合你的目的? 我推荐阅读维克多·弗兰克的《人类对意义的探索》。不客气

Andrey Gavrilov, studied at Saint Petersburg State Electrotechnical University
Be like a parent to a child. If a child isn’t “cooperating” there are three ways.
Don’t panic, don’t be anxious and wait until you can relax and forget about “I don’t want” bit. Circumstances change, may be you’ll want do it tomorrow.
Trick yourself into thinking that your goal is more desirable than you currently think. Sweeten it up. It works with kids. You’ll get a candy after you eat your veggies. As an adult you can choose what a candy mean. Yeah, it’s essentially a replacement of reward, but it works. “If I run 10 miles, I’ll eat a cake”.

像父母对待孩子一样。如果一个孩子不“合作”，有三种方式。
不要惊慌，不要焦虑，等到你可以放松下来，忘记“我不想要”的部分。情况变了，也许你想明天再做。
欺骗自己，让自己认为你的目标比你现在想的更令人满意。加点甜味。这对孩子很有效。你吃完蔬菜后会得到一颗糖。作为一个成年人，你可以选择糖果的含义。是的，它本质上是奖励的替代品，但是有效的。“如果我跑10英里，我就吃一块蛋糕”。

Frighten yourself into thinking that not doing that thing will lead to something bad. Works with kids, will work with adults too. “If I won’t stop smoking, I’ll probably get some lung cancer”. “If I won’t study now, it will be much harder later and I’ll never get the skills I need to do what I want”.
If you’re in a rush, #2 and #3 are your obvious choice. Test, combine and tweak as needed.
Bonus tip - ask yourself why do you have to force yourself into doing something you don’t want doing? Who’s forcing you? Society? Family? Friends? Law? A need? A thought? What’s the worst thing that can happen if you won’t do that thing? Can someone else do it? Maybe you can trade places with someone who wants to do that thing and you’ll do his duty instead? What I mean is that forcing yourself - while possible - is not productive in a long run. If it is something really important - like income, relationships, knowledge, health related - you should really spend some time to reflect and resolve or let it go.

吓唬自己，让自己认为不做那件事会导致不好的事情。对孩子有用，对大人也有用。“如果我不戒烟，我可能会得肺癌。”“如果我现在不学习，以后会更难，我永远也学不到我想要的技能。”
如果你赶时间，第二种和第三种方法显然是你的选择。根据需要进行测试、组合和调整。
额外的建议——问问自己为什么要强迫自己做你不想做的事情? 谁强迫你? 社会? 家庭? 朋友? 法律? 一个想法? 如果你不做那件事最坏的结果会是什么? 其他人能做吗? 也许你可以和一个想做那件事的人交换位置，而你会履行他的职责？我的意思是，强迫自己，尽管可能，但从长远来看是没有成效的。如果它真的很重要，比如收入、人际关系、知识、健康，你真的应该花些时间来反思和解决，或者把它放下。

Kevin Shayne, Owner
As a kid there were so many things I had to do that I didn’t like doing. Many pertained to school. When it came to certain things I tried to find something that interested me within the thing I didn’t want to do.
For example, I didn’t like math. However, what I could get interested in was the system itself. It wasn’t memorizing. I couldn’t stand that. What I was interested in was how it was created and how it worked. The discovery of concepts themselves.
We each need to figure out ourselves. It’s a life long journey. This is especially true if you do not think like the masses. Many people have no problem conforming to life. Yet, it is individuals who think differently that need to understand how they can move forward to do the things that others do mechanically.

当我还是个孩子的时候，我不得不做很多我不喜欢做的事情。许多与学校有关。当涉及到某些事情时，我试图在我不想做的事情中找到一些让我感兴趣的东西。
例如，我不喜欢数学。然而，我感兴趣的是体系。这不是记忆。我受不了了。我感兴趣的是它是如何产生的，以及它是如何工作的以及发现概念本身。
我们每个人都需要了解自己。这是一生的旅程。如果你不像大众那样思考，则尤其如此。许多人适应生活没有问题。 然而，想法不同的人需要了解他们如何才能继续做其他人机械地做的事情。

Virali Modi, BBC 100 Women ‘17, Motivational Speaker, #MyTrainToo
I bribe myself with something I like to eat or like to do. I'm a foodie at heart, so I usually bribe myself by saying "Okay, if you finish this in ___ amount of time, you'll get a piece of chocolate".
Or else, I usually say, the quicker you finish this, you'll get to do (enter fun activity here) faster.
That usually works for me. I like simple things and simple techniques that make me do things.

我用我喜欢吃或喜欢做的东西贿赂自己。我骨子里是个吃货，所以我通常贿赂自己说:“好吧，如果你在___时间内完成这个，你就会得到一块巧克力。”
或者，我通常会说，你完成得越快，你就可以更快地完成 (XX有趣的活动)。
这通常对我有效。我喜欢简单的事情和让我做事的简单技巧。

Trevor Carlson, The Formula Podcast Host (2017-present)
As a habit, I don’t do things that I hate to do. I find workarounds.
I hate going to work out by myself.
I find it to be boring.
So I take classes with people.
I join a community of other people who I enjoy their company, that way even if I hate the activity I will do it with people I enjoy.
I recently started Muay Thai training for this exact reason.
I wanted to stay in shape as I travel full-time and I wasn’t doing a great job on my own so I decided to join a Muay Thai camp.
Is it hard? Hell yes, it is hard.
Do I hate it? Sometimes the training seems impossibly hard. But then one of the other guys training does something funny and I start laughing.
The training sucks sometimes but the people make it easier.
So that is how I do things I hate or don’t enjoy, I find people to do it with that I enjoy and then I just start.
Just showing up is the hardest part.
So, what is it that you hate doing but feel the need to do?
How can you find other people to do that activity with?
Can you make it fun?
Best of luck!

作为一种习惯，我不做我讨厌做的事情。我找到了解决办法。
我讨厌一个人去健身。
我觉得很无聊。
所以我和别人一起上课。
我加入了一个由我喜欢的人组成的社区，这样即使我讨厌这种活动，我也会和我喜欢的人一起做。
我最近开始泰拳训练就是这个原因。
我想在全职旅行时保持身材，但我一个人的工作做得不好，所以我决定参加一个泰拳营。
难吗？是的，很难。
我讨厌吗？有时，训练似乎难以想象。但后来，另一个参加训练的人做了一些有趣的事情，我开始大笑起来。
训练有时很糟糕，但人们让它变得更容易。
所以这就是我做我讨厌或不喜欢的事情的方式，我找一些我喜欢的人一起做，然后我就开始了。
只是如约赶到是最难的部分。
那么，你讨厌做什么却觉得有必要做？
你如何找到其他人一起做这项活动？
你能让它变得有趣吗？
祝你好运！