我告诉我的女朋友钻石不过就是碳而已，没啥真正用处，她把我甩了，为什么？
I told my girlfriend that diamond is just carbon and has no real use. She dumped me. Why?
译文简介
我最近在和一位非常有魅力的男士聊天。他属于那种只要和女孩子谈论几分钟就能够泡到女孩的人。他告诉我一个非常重要的观点，他跟我说，迈克尔，女孩子不在乎你说什么，她们关心的是你为什么会这么说。
正文翻译
I’ve been talking to an incredibly charismatic guy recently, the type of guy who picks up girls within minutes of a conversation. He told me, “Michael, girls don’t care about what you say. They care about why you’re saying it.”
我最近在和一位非常有魅力的男士聊天。他属于那种只要和女孩子谈论几分钟就能够泡到女孩的人。他告诉我一个非常重要的观点，他跟我说，迈克尔，女孩子不在乎你说什么，她们关心的是你为什么会这么说。
我最近在和一位非常有魅力的男士聊天。他属于那种只要和女孩子谈论几分钟就能够泡到女孩的人。他告诉我一个非常重要的观点，他跟我说，迈克尔，女孩子不在乎你说什么，她们关心的是你为什么会这么说。
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, I have friends in high places
So, why are you telling your girlfriend that a diamond is useless?There are two things she might be thinking:
To her, that diamond (I’m assuming you're talking about buying a ring) may symbolize your love for her. She could feel hurt that you don't seem willing to spend a lot of money on her. You might have appeared like you only wanted a casual relationship and you weren’t willing to think of investing in her. Every girl wants to find someone who will give her the world.
所以，那么问题来了。你为什么和你的女朋友说钻石没有什么用处？她可能想两件事：
对她来说，那个钻石可能代表着你对她的爱。但是你看起来并不想要在她身上花多少钱。她可能会感到很受伤。你可能表现出你只是想要一段很随意的关系。你不想要在她身上投资。每一个女孩都想找到一个能够给她整个世界的人。
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如果一个女孩想要什么东西，而你用冰冷的逻辑回绝了她。这会伤害到她。如果你没有让她感觉到她很特别或者是被爱。她不会在乎你的逻辑有多么正确。在这种情况下，你应该要非常巧妙的去表达自己的观点。你要跟她说明你有更好的东西来代替钻石。以此来表达你对她的爱。比如可能是一个美好的浪漫蜜月。
You dodged a bullet. She might just want you to spend money on her. Your logic is right and if you’ve shown that you care about her, she should understand the point.If she understands your logic and knows that you love her, but leaves you anyways over not getting an expensive ring, then she’s either just after money or she was done with the relationship anyway and wanted an excuse. When you find a girl who knows that you still love her when you tell her that a diamond is just carbon and loves your practicality, then you’ve found the one you should be with and I wish you a very happy relationship.
现在要说第二种情况：
你躲过了一劫，事实上她可能只是想让你在她身上花钱而已。你的逻辑是对的，如果你表现出关心她，那么她应该就能够理解这一点。如果她能够理解你的逻辑，知道你爱她。但是她却因为你没有给她买昂贵的戒指而离开你。那么要么她只是为了钱，要么就是想结束这段关系，她只是想找个借口。当你找到了一个女孩，当你告诉她钻石只是碳元素。但是她知道你仍然爱她，并且喜欢你的真诚，那么她就是那个你应该和她在一起的人。
Remember, when you’re talking romantically with a girl, intention matters more than substance. Promise a girl a Lamborghini with all your heart and she’ll feel just as happy as if you’d actually gotten her one.
记住，当你和一个女孩谈情说爱的时候，你的内心所想比实质更重要。全心全意的向一个女孩承诺一辆兰博基尼。她会像你真的给她买了一辆一样高兴。
, lived in Baltimore
There are really two types of diamonds.The shiny rocks whose purpose is to look pretty.
Industrial diamonds used to make saw blades to cut thru damn near anything.
Neither type is rare. Maybe you got dumped because you had a shitty attitude about her wanting a ring. Maybe you weren't willing to compromise on the issue. Or maybe this was just one more thing she added to the “things I don't like about him” list.
钻石有两种，有一种是非常光亮的。看起来非常漂亮。另外一种就是工业用途叫金刚石。金刚石可以用来切割任何东西。这两种类型的钻石都不罕见。也许你被甩仅仅是因为你对她想要钻石戒指的态度表现的很糟糕。也许你不想在这个问题上妥协。也许这只是压在骆驼身上的最后一根稻草。
, Award-Winning Scifi Author, Analog regular
Franklin Veaux, Has been known to date
Maybe she just wasn’t the right girl.
My now wife was a biology teacher who had turned down an opportunity to work in bioweapon defense for the US Army. She told me diamond is just carbon and isn’t even rare, but is hoarded by the De Beers cartel to create artificial scarcity (all of which I knew) and that she’d much rather have cubic zirconium and a nice honeymoon and save the diamonds for making industrial abrasives.As it turned out, we had rings made using diamonds from my mother’s rings and saved a lot of scratch that way. Florida was great.
也许她就是不适合你。我现在妻子是一名生物教师。她拒绝了一个为美国陆军从事生物研究的机会。她告诉我钻石只是碳元素而已，并不稀有。而且是被戴比尔斯囤积起来，哄抬起来的。目的就是为了制造稀缺性。这些我也知道。她宁愿拥有一个锆石戒指，然后一个美好的蜜月。她觉得钻石应该留给制造业。后来我们用我母亲钻戒上的钻石重新做了戒指。佛罗里达是一个非常棒的地方。
Donna Fernstrom
Now, THIS is a ring: Dinosaur fossil, meteorite, and laboratory opal:
Who would want blood diamonds when you could have something honestly special?
现在，这里有一个戒指：恐龙化石，陨石或者其它的东西。如果你拥有更好的东西，谁会在乎血钻？
Mine's a geologist. She wanted nothing to do with diamonds either. Bought her a car instead.
我的女朋友是一个地质学家，她也不想和钻戒扯上关系，我最终给她买了一辆车。
Vicki Lingle
I know all that about diamonds, but I still love them. They are particularly beautiful when worn in the sun, when they sparkle. It's a waste to wear them only in the evening.
我知道钻石的一切，但我还是很爱它们。当带上它们在阳光下闪闪发光的时候，显得特别漂亮。只在晚上佩戴钻石实在是太可惜了。
Zircons actually have more “fire” to them as they have a higher refractive index. They sparkle brighter.
-Edit: It’s not higher RI as I had remembered, it’s higher “fire” which is a sort of rating of sparkliness. It gets it from a higher RI dispersion — that is, how different the RI is at red versus blue, thus making the internal reflections spit different colors.
钻石看起来光芒四射，这是因为她们有更高的折射率。钻石分为很多不同的等级。而且由于切割工艺的关系，钻石会反射出不同的颜色。
I saw a statistic the other day on the rarity of diamonds.There are enough diamonds already mined to give every human in the world a cup of them.
前几天我看过一篇关于钻石稀缺性的一个统计数据。已经开采的钻石足够给全世界每个人来上一杯。
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Most of those are industrial and have already been ground to powder in drill bits. They’re not talking gem quality by a long shot. Synthetic diamonds have a size limit of about 1.5 carats.
你上面说的那些钻石，大部分都是工业用的。已经被磨成粉末。你说的不是宝石级的钻石。当然也有人造钻石，但是人造钻石的尺寸被限制在1.5克拉左右。
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I told my now husband I wanted his birthstone as my engagement ring. He wanted a traditional diamond which I dislike for many reasons. We compromised and I got the main stone an aquamarine and tiny diamonds around it and we're both happy.
我告诉我现在的丈夫，我想要她的生辰石作为我的订婚戒指。但是他想要购买一颗传统的钻石。不过我不喜欢钻石，理由有很多。最终我们妥协了，我买了宝石镶钻的戒指，我们都很高兴。
You can get lab-made diamonds - much cheaper than the DeBeers monopoly, and much better quality because the synthetic process removes the impurities.
你可以得到实验室制造的钻石，她们的价格比戴比尔斯的要便宜的多，质量也好的多。因为人工合成的钻石可以去除杂质。
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There were some from Italy at a jewelry exhibition years ago. I should have just bought them!!
在几年前意大利珠宝展上我看到过一些，我当时应该直接买下来的。
Many years ago, Steven Levitt, the author of Freakinomics, told a story about buying his wife something like 10 pairs of cubic zirconia earrings. That way it didn’t matter if she lost one. She’d always had anxiety wearing expensive jewelry, afraid she might loose one. The cubic zirconias solved that issue and she claimed it was her favorite gift he’d ever given her.
很多年前怪诞经济学的作者史蒂芬.莱维特讲过一个故事。她给妻子买过十对立方氧化锆耳环。这样的话，她丢了也无所谓。因为她妻子在佩戴昂贵的钻石的时候总是焦虑不安，担心会弄丢。立方氧化锆成功的解决了这个问题。她妻子对她说，这是她送给妻子最好的礼物。
My wife laughed when I bought her a bag of charcoal and said its cheaper when you buy in bulk . Maybe it’s a virtue of women who work in science lol
我给妻子买了一袋木炭，她笑了。她说如果批量买的话会更便宜。也许这是从事科学工作女性的一种美德，哈哈哈。
Had it been me, I would have told you to hold your own barbecue. Not much else I could do with it (yes, I know there are other uses).
如果是我，我会让你再去拿烤肉。因为单纯给我木炭，我也干不了什么。
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With a can of lighter fluid and a ten-pound bag of diamonds (industrial, presumably or synthetic) you can absolutely hold a barbeque. Far from being “forever,” diamond will burn just like graphite or good charcoal, and burn down to radiant coals suitable for grilling, but given its structure, it’s a bit harder to ignite.
钻石远非永恒，它会像石墨和优质的木炭一样燃烧。但是考虑到它的分子结构，想点燃它没有那么容易。
Profile photo for Alicia Parmiter
Well, that’s just advertising hyperbole. It worked, didn’t it? And they really are far less prone to abrasion than other stones. I have seen some horrid damage to old sapphires and emeralds. Nevertheless, though corundum may well be 9 on the Mohs scale and diamond 10, the gap between 9 and 10 is very great indeed, it’s not a linear scale. Diamond makes superior drill bits, and industrial diamonds are a serious business.But “white” diamonds are very pure carbon indeed. I wouldn’t waste them on industrial processes, they’re too pretty, and far less common than industrial.
好吧，这只是有点夸张的广告而已。但是这广告毕竟起作用了，不是吗？而且相比较而言，钻石是非常耐磨损的。比其它石头都好得多。我见过一些古老的蓝宝石和祖母绿，她们本身都遭到了很严重的损坏。虽然刚玉在莫氏硬度中可以达到9，但是钻石可以达到10。9和10之间的差距确实很大。这种差距并不是线性的。金刚石可以制造出优质的钻石。当然，也有一些金刚石品质不佳。
虽然人工合成钻石可以达到五克拉的水平。但是红钻石是如何形成的，目前仍然不清楚。它们本身真的非常罕见。我怀疑它们是否值得进行破坏性测试，当然如果实在有必要的话，也可以试试。其它彩色钻石的颜色范围就很广，蓝色，黄色，橙色，粉色，甚至还有绿色的钻石。绿色钻石是通过长期照射产生的。
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If I were king of the world, all diamonds would be used only for industrial cutting tools!
如果我是地球球长的话，我就把所有的钻石都用来进行工业切割。
That would be a shame, as diamond is one of the most versatile materials of all time. It is chemically/biologically inert, unrivaled in hardness, the best thermal conductor of any single material, fastest speed of sound, incredibly transparent over a large range of wavelengths, and even hosts several promising qubits. It has lots of applications, such as in windows, diamond anvil cells and also has huge potential in high power, high frequency electronics applications. The uses of diamond are virtually endless, but yes, using it for jewelry when more interesting looking, cheaper gemstones exist is a real waste.
如果你真这样子的话，那将会是一个巨大的遗憾。钻石是有史以来最多用途的材料之一。钻石在化学和生物上都具有惰性。而且它们的硬度无与伦比。钻石还是非常好的良导体，声波在钻石中传播速度很快。钻石在很大波长的范围内都是透明的。有缺陷的钻石甚至可以进行量子运算。钻石有很多的应用。金刚石本身有很高的功率。在高频电子方面，钻石也有应用。钻石的用途几乎是无穷无尽的。有更有趣，更便宜的宝石存在时，却把金刚石拿出来作为宝石。这才是真正的浪费。
We have no way of knowing without further context.I suspect the answer you're looking for is that she's a heartless gold-digging shrew who's only interested in you if you shower her with money and expensive jewellery.But it could be a variety of other reasons.It could be completely unrelated to your statement about diamonds.Could be because she's really into some of the alternative uses of diamonds and you're just plain wrong, as others have said. Even if we assume it's because she wanted a diamond ring or jewellery, there are still multiple reasons:
She wanted a commitment, and believes you aren't going to give her thatShe wanted you to buy her expensive jewellery, and isn't interested in someone who won't
没有进一步了解其中的背景，我们无从得知。我猜你可能想要我们说她是一个无情的拜金女。只有你给她钱和昂贵的珠宝，她才会对你表现出兴趣。但是事实可能不是这样。可能有一些其她的原因。这些可能与你对于钻石的评价没有什么关系。或许可能是因为她真的很喜欢钻石。喜欢钻石的某种特殊的含义。你可能本身就是错的。正如其他人所说的那样。即使她真的想要一枚钻戒。可能仍然有很多的原因。比如她想要一个承诺，但是你却不给她承诺。她想让你给她买昂贵的珠宝。她可能对那些不愿意给她承诺的人不感兴趣。
她喜欢钻石或者是首饰，但是你却完全不在意她的兴趣。这本身并不意味着她是一个拜金女。她可能愿意自己存钱或者是自己花钱。但是她不喜欢别人告诉她喜欢的东西没有价值。虽然我对珠宝不感兴趣，但是我花钱买了很多没用的东西。而且我敢打赌，你肯定也花钱买了很多别人认为不值的东西。
, Lives a charmed life.
Diamonds are composed of carbon, it’s true.But to your ex, diamonds were more than just carbon. They’re a symbol. Their alleged rarity, and inflated cost mean they’re something that only the most devoted partner would purchase for their betrothed. Your dismissal of that symbol was probably interpreted as “he’s not into me as much as he should be”, and she dismissed you.
钻石是由碳元素构成的，这是真的。但是对于你的前女友来说，钻石并不仅仅只是碳，钻石是一个象征。钻石所代表的稀有性和高昂的价格意味着只有那些最忠诚的伴侣才会为她们的未婚妻购买。你对这个符号完全不屑，可能会被她认为是你对她没有什么兴趣。所以最终她拒绝了你。
我对此很有感触。一方面我能够理解她的观点。毕竟花2万美元买一颗钻石，确实能够传递一个明确的信息。这个信息就是你必须收买她的感情。她因为你没有给她买钻石就甩了你。这就是你需要的证据。如果她真的爱你的话，她应该会在这个问题上和你进行坦率的沟通。当然如果你真的爱她的话，你也会去买那个钻石。所以我认为你们俩的结局是自然而然的。
The problem with diamonds is that they are legitimately inflated in price from De Beers, who infamously used the media to gaslight people into demanding them. It’s a real conspiracy that many people are aware of, but many don’t acknowledge because it still holds value in their minds.You might be one of them. I personally disagree with diamonds being that an important part of our society.
钻石本身的问题在于戴比尔斯公司以合理合法的方式抬高了钻石的价格。戴比尔斯曾经利用媒体抬高了钻石的价格。这是很多人都知道的一个阴谋。但是也有很多人不愿意去承认。在很多人的头脑当中，钻石依然是有价值的。你可能就是其中之一。我个人并不认为钻石真的有那么重要。
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, in the case of gemstones (and precious metals), the same is true. Diamonds have historically been valuable just because people valued them.I have learned some interesting comparisons when traveling. Remember that golden mask of Tutankhamun? We would consider that extraordinarily valuable. It was considered valuable in Tutankhamun’s time, too, but not EXTRAORDINARILY valuable. In fact, gold was pretty common in Egypt at that time.
情人眼里出西施。对于宝石或者是那些贵金属也是这样的。从历史上来看，钻石之所以有价值，是因为人们非常重视它。我曾经进行过广泛的旅行。我进行了一些有趣的对比。你还记得图坦卡蒙的金色面具吗？我认为这本身是非常有价值的。在图坦卡蒙那个年代，珠宝钻石就被认为是非常有价值的东西。但是可能没有今天地位那么高。事实上在当时的埃及，黄金是非常普遍的东西。
那个时候白银要稀有的多。因此当时白银被认为更有价值。如果图坦卡蒙的面具是用银制作的，那么古埃及人会认为银质的面具比黄金的面具更有价值。这一看法来自于我开罗的私人导游。和埃及的很多导游一样，在被授予导游证之前，他也要被进行严格的考验。我旅行另外一个例子是中美洲。很抱歉，我忘记是哪一个国家了。中美洲每一个国家我都去过。我去看了一些博物馆。里面有一些精致的物品。当然也有一些其它的珠宝饰物。
他们都是神的象征，对于他们的文化而言，这些都有着非常重要的价值。因为它们所代表的东西非常重要。我记得当中有一些物品是木头制作的。对于那些推崇它们的人来讲，这些物品的价值和钻石黄金一样。我想在某种意义上来讲，这有点类似于把立方氧化锆的价值放在钻石之上。很大程度上，这取决于旁观者究竟是如何来看的，以及他们的心态怎样？
, Hermit writer. Its easier to write a date, then get one.
Thanks for the laugh.
What she heard was this:
“I’m not giving you a diamond engagement ring, ever.”The fact that half the statement is rubbish wouldn't even have entered her awareness. Diamonds are useful in industry. The fact you didn’t know that wasn’t any part of being dumped. You got dumped because you told her you’d never marry her. Or if you did, you wouldn’t be buying her an engagement ring.It seems she valued that diamond ring a lot more than you.
“不会给你买钻石戒指，永远都不会。” 你可能没意识到你说的是这个内容。钻石在工业上很有用，你可能不知道这一点，但是这跟你被甩没有任何关系。你被甩是因为你告诉她你永远不会娶她。就算你知道，你也不会给她买订婚戒指。看来她可能比你更看重那枚钻戒。
, Used dating apps for too long
If you don’t know why you probably have some communication issues that would lead to an unhappy marriage anyway.As many others have pointed out, diamonds are very useful for many different reasons. However, your ex GF values them for a particular reason based on emotions. You were using logic to take a stance likely because of the high cost of a diamond for a ring. In retrospect, you could probably look back and see that to her the value was based on something emotional and had you listened and empathized, maybe you would have been able to come to a compromise instead of getting dumped.
如果你还搞不清楚是因为什么事情，那么你们之间可能需要进行一些良好的沟通。沟通不良可能会导致你们婚姻不幸福。对于很多人指出的那样，可能有各种各样的原因。钻石确实是非常有用的。也许你前女友因为某种特殊的情感而非常重视她。而你却用一个逻辑的立场。可能因为一个钻石的成本很高。回想起来你或许可能会发现对于她来讲，钻石的价值是建立在情感基础之上的。如果你听了她的话，感同身受，或许最终你就会做出妥协。那样你们最终就能达成一致，你就不会被甩了。
以后你要注意试着去同情和倾听。用你自己的话去重复她说的话。比如“如果我没听错，你想……对吗？” 提高你的听力和交流的技巧。那就意味着你不需要再跑到论坛上来问别人了。你可以直接和她交流，得到问题的答案。因为别人注定只能够推测你们的感受。但是我们永远无法感同身受。