你见过有人自暴自弃吗(下)
Have you ever witnessed anyone throw away their life?
译文简介
网友：我正在翻阅一排相册，只是想浏览一下，就在这时，我注意到前台发生了骚乱。店员正在和一个衣冠不整、衣衫褴褛的年轻人争吵，这人头发又细又脏，像个无家可归的人......
正文翻译
Have you ever witnessed anyone throw away their life?
你见过有人自暴自弃吗?
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Dan Birchfield，35年基督教牧师
Later on, life took it's usual turns with moving on to high school. I lost track of Mario some time during 9th grade when his family moved to another part of town. Those high school years passed and by the time I hit around 19 I had about forgotten Mario.
I had stopped by a record store called, “Golden Rod Music,” a place I thought was cool because they sold vinyl records, all we had back then in the 70's, but they also sold marijuana pipes, which I thought daring, but was apparently legal.
在我成长的过程中，我的高中有一个男孩叫马里奥。他是学校里最酷的孩子。他身材高挑，苗条，宽大的肩膀，长长的黑发，棕色的眼睛，深色的肤色，轮廓分明。我和其他所有的男生都嫉妒他，因为学校里的每个女生一看到他都会被电晕，但马里奥对待所有的男生，不管他们是傻瓜、运动员、书呆子还是脑力劳动者，就像我们是他最好的朋友一样。我们都喜欢他，都想和他一样。如果有一位仙女教母出现，并允许学校里的一个男孩有机会成为我们想要的任何人，我们中的任何人都会说：“让我成为马里奥。”
后来，随着高中的升学，生活发生了转变。在九年级的某个时候，当马里奥的家人搬到镇上的另一个地方时，我和他失去了联系。高中时代过去了，到我19岁左右的时候，我已经忘记马里奥了。
我去了一家名为“Golden Rod Music”的唱片店，我觉得很酷，因为他们卖黑胶唱片，那是70年代我们仅有的东西，但他们也卖大麻烟斗，我觉得很大胆，但显然是合法的。
As I slowly approached the counter, I took a close look at the shabbily dressed man as he shuffled out the door, and it was indeed the famed Mario from my junior high school days. I asked the clerk what was going on. He said “Yeah, that's that guy Mario, he comes in here asking me for money, sometimes tries to steal from me. Poor dude took a bunch of bad LSD a couple of years back, completely fried his brain. Wanders around now like he's mentally handicapped. I'll tell you man, it's a real shame.”
I watched as Mario shuffled his way down the street mumbling to himself. I remember thinking, “Wow, this really is a shame: he used to be the coolest guy in school.” Even today I wonder whatever became of Mario.
Truly a wasted life.
我正在翻阅一排相册，只是想浏览一下，就在这时，我注意到前台发生了骚乱。店员正在和一个衣冠不整、衣衫褴褛的年轻人争吵，这人头发又细又脏，像个无家可归的人。我听到店员对那个人说，“离开这里，马里奥，别再回来了，我不会给你任何东西，我没有钱，什么都不会给你！”
当我慢慢走近柜台时，我仔细地看了看那个衣衫褴褛的男人，他拖着脚走出了门，那的确是我初中时代的著名人物—马里奥。我问店员发生了什么事。他说：“就是那个叫马里奥的家伙，他来这里向我要钱，有时还想偷我的东西。这可怜的家伙几年前吃了一大堆劣质的迷幻药，彻底迷失了自己。现在像智障一样四处游荡。我告诉你，伙计，真是太遗憾了。”
我看着马里奥拖着脚走在街上，喃喃自语。我记得当时在想，“哇，这真是太可惜了：他曾经是学校里最酷的家伙。”即使在今天，我也在想马里奥到底怎么样了。
真是自暴自弃。
Shyma Zaidi，了解周围的生活
Set this as his WhatsApp status few mins before he died,
“Few mistakes cannot be corrected, n one of them is sitting on my neck”.
I wonder what he was thinking when he set this as his status, what did he want to prove or what was he trying to tell or to whom was he telling it.
What bothers me is how easily he threw away his life. How he couldn't think of one single reason to live. How the young kids throw their life for a thing that wouldn't even matter after sometime.
我的一个学生，大约20岁。他聪明，他住在离他家1000英里的地方。有一天，他在吊扇上上吊死了。
把这个设为他死前几分钟的WhatsApp状态“很少有错误是不能纠正的，其中有一个正坐在我的脖子上。”。
我想知道当他设置这个作为自己的状态时，他在想什么，他想证明什么，他想告诉什么，或者他告诉了谁。
让我烦恼的是他是如此轻易地放弃了自己的生命。他怎么想不出一个活下去的理由。那些年轻的孩子是如何为了一件事后再看根本不重要的事而放弃自己的生命。
It's been almost 6 months now. His friends sure miss him. But they have moved on. They smile again. They walk around the same campus happily .
And I wonder what was his death for? Did it stop anything or anyone's life? He just left his parents with the grief they can never get over with. I no longer wonder why suicide is sometimes called as a selfish act.
I still have his contact number in my phone and would never dexe it. Because it reminds me about the gift that the life given to us is.
我看到他的朋友大哭，他的父母和亲戚抬着他的尸体。这将永远是我所见过的最悲伤的事情
已经快6个月了。他的朋友们肯定很想念他。但他们继续前进，他们又笑了，他们在同一个校园里快乐地散步。
我想知道他的死因是什么?它阻止过什么事或什么人的生活吗?他给父母留下了无法释怀的悲伤。我不再奇怪为什么自杀有时被称为自私的行为。
我的手机里还有他的联系电话，永远不会删除。因为它让我想起了生命给我们的礼物。
Yes, I have.
I have seen my husband of 5 years throw away his life, while ruining my and my daughter's life. He did this for his mistress.
He cheated on me from the day one of our marriage and took his relationship to the next level with her when I got pregnant. When I found out about this, he claimed he has no clue why he did all this and still loved me and my daughter. I know she is manipulative because I befriended her believing she needed help. She convinced me my husband was only her friend who had helped her through her dad’s mental illness and then demise. She won my trust and made me believe that there had never been any illicit relation between them and finally when I trusted them, she slept with him, AGAIN.
When the extent of their affair was discovered I contacted her, trusted her more than my husband (she being a woman) and requested her to provide me with all the necessary proof to divorce my husband (her phone records to prove their calls and hotel booking vouchers to prove their meetings). I needed this as she has been in touch with my husband on his office phone number and it wasn’t possible to get its details. I just needed proof so that I can prove his infidelity and take custody of my daughter. She promised to help me as a woman, however, changed her number and never called back. In the meantime, they continued to be in touch.
是的，我有。
我看到我结婚5年的丈夫在毁了我和我女儿的生活的同时，抛弃了他的生命，他这样做是为了他的情妇。
他从我们结婚的第一天起就背叛了我，当我怀孕时，他把和她的关系提升到了一个新的高度。当我发现这件事时，他说他不知道为什么他会这么做，他仍然爱我和我的女儿。我知道她善于操纵别人，因为我认为她需要帮助，所以和她交朋友。她让我相信，我丈夫只是她的朋友，帮助她度过了她父亲的精神疾病和死亡。她赢得了我的信任，让我相信他们之间从来没有任何不正当的关系。最后，当我信任他们的时候，她又和他上床了。
当他们的婚外情被发现时，我联系了她，更信任她而不是我的丈夫（她是一名女性），并要求她向我提供一切必要的证据来证明我的丈夫离婚（她的电话记录证明他们的电话和酒店预订凭证证明他们的会面）。我需要这个，因为她一直通过我丈夫的办公室电话号码与他保持联系，无法获得详细信息。我只是需要证据，这样我就可以证明他不忠并得到我女儿的监护权。她答应作为一个女人帮助我，但是，她改变了电话号码，再也没有回过电话。与此同时，他们继续保持联系。
The biggest blow to my honour was hearing my husband trying to console her and calling her “Aadi-Aadi” (her name is Aditi and this is the nick name he uses to address her) in front of everybody. It was as if only they two existed there and no one else. I felt like a dirty voyeur, prying on someones intimate moment. I sat there looking at them, her long black hair and good-figured body; thinking of the greys in my hair and post-pregnancy tummy. I had never felt so ugly in my life.
It is more than a month that I met her and now I am compelled to live a broken life with no self-respect and zero confidence. I sleep next to a man I no more love and can’t even leave for the sake of my child. It was mostly casual sex for them but he threw away his life and mine too for the pleasure of the skin. He risked my health too because Aditi has many more casual sexual partners and he exposed me too to the risk of STDs by being with her.
Now she is getting married, moving on to a new life and I sit everyday, caressing the broken pieces of my soul and thinking “why did he throw it all away?”
最后，我让他的家人参与进来，把他们拖到拉贾斯坦邦的焦特布尔（那个女孩的家），在她妈妈面前和她对质。她说的第一句话是：“如果这件事发生在你身上，你的婚姻一定有问题。”。我大吃一惊，我想说：“是的，那就是因为你，你在情感上敲诈了一个一直帮助你的男人。还有一件事是:我嫁的这个男人—因为他是一个没有骨气的人渣”
对我的名誉最大的打击是听到我丈夫试图安慰她，并在众人面前叫她“阿迪-阿迪”(她的名字是阿迪提，这是他对她的昵称)。就好像那里只有他们两个，没有其他人。我感觉自己像一个肮脏的窥视者，窥探着某人的亲密时刻。我坐在那里看着他们，她长长的黑发和匀称的身材；想想我的头发和怀孕后的肚子。我这辈子从没觉得自己这么丑过。
我认识她已经一个多月了，现在我被迫过着破碎的生活，没有自尊，没有自信。我睡在一个我不再爱的男人旁边，为了我的孩子我甚至不能离开。对他们来说，这大多是随意的性行为，但他为了皮肤的快感，也抛弃了他和我的生活。他也拿我的健康冒险，因为阿迪蒂有很多随意的性伴侣，他也让我因为他和她在一起而暴露于性传播疾病的风险之中。
现在她结婚了，开始了新的生活，我每天都坐在那里，抚摸着我灵魂的碎片，想着“他为什么要把一切都放弃？”
保罗·理查德·哈珀，汽车修理工
He was a salesman at the dealership I worked at as a mechanic. Surly and grumpy most of the time. But the week before he ended himself, he became very chatty, friendly, helpful. I later learned that when someone has decided they are going to kill themselves, this is a common response as their burden has been lifted and they feel free.
We had absolutely no inkling he felt this way. He never spoke about his personal life. We knew he was married and had 2 teenage children. What we didn't know was that his wife had left him and kicked him out. What we didn't know was he was sleeping at the dealership in the managers office. What we didn't know was he was going through a bottle of whiskey every evening.
He was found swinging from a steel beam on a Saturday morning. Our service advisor opened up at 7.30am as normal, went to his desk and found a note
“don't go in the workshop, call the police. Alex”
So he called the police, who went in and cut him down. He was 45.
是的，一位同事在我们车间自杀了。
他是我当过机械师的经销商的推销员。大多数时候脾气暴躁。但在他结束自己的前一周，他变得非常健谈、友好、乐于助人。我后来了解到，当有人决定要自杀时，这是一种常见的反应，因为他们的负担已经解除，他们感到自由。
我们完全不知道他有这种感觉。他从不谈论他的私生活。我们知道他结婚了，有两个十几岁的孩子。我们不知道的是，他的妻子离开了他，把他赶了出去。我们不知道的是他在经理办公室的经销商处睡觉。我们不知道的是他每天晚上都喝一瓶威士忌。
一个星期六的早晨，他被发现在钢梁上荡秋千。我们的服务顾问照常在早上7:30开门，走到他的办公桌前，发现了一张便条“别进车间，叫警察，亚历克斯”
于是他叫了警察，警察进去把他撞倒了，他45岁。
Samer Costantini讲述过去几十年的故事
He graduated top of his class. His grades were so good, he was enrolled in my university pre-declared engineering major. He was healthy and athletic. He was the country’s top tennis player in under 16. He didn't drink nor smoke.
His first semester went well, good grades and all. He started smoking cigarettes. On his second semester he started hanging out with party crowds, stayed out late, clubbing and drinking and Skipping classes.
The following year we found out he was smoking weed. We, his friends, intervened. He assured us that his is only having fun and he can quit anytime. His school work was getting affected.
The following year he failed most of his courses, was placed on academic probation. We didn't see him often. He was hanging out with a strange group and we were certain he was doing hard drugs. He had fights with almost everyone he knew and stole money and belongings from other students rooms. I know he snatched 30 bucks that disappeared from my wallet after he came in once asking for shampo.
我在宿舍遇到的一个人，他是大学一年级的新生。
他以全班第一的成绩毕业。他的成绩很好，他被我大学预选的工程专业录取了。他身体健康，是运动健将。他是该国16岁以下的顶级网球运动员，既不喝酒也不抽烟。
他的第一学期很顺利，成绩很好，他开始抽烟。在他的第二学期，他开始和聚会的人群闲逛，在外面呆到很晚，去俱乐部喝酒，逃课。
第二年，我们发现他在吸大麻。我们，他的朋友，都介入了。他向我们保证他只是在玩，他随时都可以退出，他的学业受到影响。
第二年，他大部分课程都不及格，进入了学术试用期。我们很少见到他。他和一群奇怪的人在一起，我们确信他在吸毒。他几乎和他认识的每个人都打架，还从其他学生的房间里偷了钱和东西。我知道有一次他来找洗发水，偷走了我钱包里不见的30块钱。
He completed a year and cleaned up, and after massive pulled strings, he gets reinstated into college and graduates with an engineering degree. He was clean that year.
As a graduation gift, he decides to take a trip to the US. He flew via Amsterdam where he spent 2 nights there. On his third, he overdosed and died.
I haven't seen anyone who started with everything anyone dream of, to get caught up in a dwonward spiral path that ended in his demise.
四年级时他因学习成绩差被大学开除，这一次他的父母进行了干预，让他进入了康复中心。
他完成了一年的工作，清理了一切，好不容易走通后门之后，他重新回到了大学，并获得了工程学学位。那一年他戒毒了。
作为毕业礼物，他决定去美国旅行。途经阿姆斯特丹时，在那里住了两个晚上。第三晚时候服药过量死亡。
我从未见过任何一个人，一开始就拥有自己梦想的一切，然后陷入一种螺旋式的困境，最终以死亡告终。
His name was Chitrarth Dagar. We used to call him just ‘Dagar’. He was a mechanical engineering student We met in 2nd year of engineering. His room was 3rd from my room in hostel. His CGPA was above 7 out of 10 which was quite good. He played guitar and flute very well and was highly active in Gurukul( a musician association at college). He had very good English and used to participate in MUN and debates. He was in Astronomy club. He had many friends. He was more talented than many guys in all aspects. We were friends too. In many things, I desired to become as talented as him.
He wanted to do something great. He was very ambitious. In 3rd year first semester, we noticed that he was changing. He was asking too many questions in class and sometimes entered in an argument with professor. Similarly, he used to enter into argument with his best friends also. This thing was affecting his friendship with other people. Many times we told him, he has changed and should be more friendly rather than being aggressive. But for one semester it went on. We all just assumed he has become over ambitious and want to excel in academics and everything he desired.
After winter break, I was returning from Delhi to Pilani by Bus, he also boarded the same bus. We talked and he was polite like before. Seeing this change in his behaviour, i thought may be in last semester he was overambitious therefore was aggressive, but after staying at home for 20 day holidays, he had relaxed and was okay now. I was happy that he was back to normal. Semester started, he was normal and behaving nicely. He used to go to All night canteen with us and watch TV series and movies with us. Things were going cool.
他的名字叫基特拉斯·达加尔（Chitrarth Dagar）。我们以前只叫他达加尔。他是机械工程系的学生。我们是在二年级认识的。他的房间在我住的旅馆房间的第三层。他的CGPA在7以上（总分10分），这相当不错了。他吉他和长笛弹得很好，在Gurukul（大学的一个音乐家协会）非常活跃。他英语能力很好，过去经常参加辩论。他参加了天文学俱乐部，他有许多朋友。他在各方面都比许多人更有天赋。我们也是朋友。在很多方面，我都想成为像他一样有才华的人。
他雄心勃勃，他想做些伟大的事情。在第三年第一学期，我们注意到他在变。他在课堂上问的问题太多了，有时还和教授争论起来。同样，他也经常和最好的朋友争论。这件事影响了他与其他人的友谊。我们多次告诉他，他已经变了，他应该更加友好，而不是咄咄逼人。但是有一个学期它一直如此。我们都认为他过于雄心勃勃，想要在学术和他想要的一切方面出类拔萃。
寒假后，我从德里乘公共汽车返回皮拉尼，他也上了同一辆公共汽车。我们交谈时他像以前一样彬彬有礼。看到他行为上的这种变化，我想可能是上学期他过于雄心勃勃，所以很有侵略性，但在家里放了20天假后，他已经放松下来，现在没事了。我很高兴他恢复了正常。学期一开始，他很正常，表现很好。他过去常常和我们一起去食堂通宵，一起看电视剧和电影。一切都很顺利。
Nobody knew, why he did that. But only thing i can guess is that he was worried that he has done too much damage to his image through his argumentative behaviour and had lost friends. I think nobody should be worried about that because friends can be made again. Nobody should be too serious in college days.
He comes to my mind very often. He was such a great guy and always helpful. He would have been too much successful in his career much more successful than many of us. He will be remembered always.
在期中考试之前，我们4-5个朋友在房间外的走廊里闲逛，玩得很开心。他很用功，所以我们决定把他叫出房间，看看他学了多少。我们敲了他的门，但没有回答。他房间的灯被关掉了，因为通风器里没有一丝光。我们打了他的手机，手机被关掉了。为了确认他是真的睡着了还是假装睡着以便我们回去，我们中的一个爬上呼吸器查看。这家伙尖叫，我们就知道里面出事了。我们更用力地踢他的门，整个旅社的人都下来砸门。门坏了，他被发现吊在风扇上。他被送去医院。在我们得知之前，他上吊自杀了3-4个小时，他不在了。他的父母得到了通知。他们是晚上从德里来的。他们太强大了。他们处理失去独子的痛苦。他的父亲和母亲说，“我们只是假设他出国定居了。我们的儿子还在，但只是住在另一个国家。我们将带着这个希望度过我们的一生。”后来，他的妹妹在他的facebook留言板上留言，这是他在笔记本电脑上留下的最后一条信息，内容是“祝我的朋友们一切顺利。”
但我唯一能猜测的是，他担心自己的争论行为已经对自己的形象造成了太大的损害，并失去了朋友。我认为没有人应该为此担心，因为朋友是可以重新结交的。在大学时代，任何人都不应该太认真。
他经常出现在我的脑海里。他是一个非常好的人，总是乐于助人。他原本职业生涯中会非常成功，比我们很多人都要成功。他将永远被人们记住。
Yes. I got a relative who lived in a seemingly happy family. He has two kids and they seemed to be doing fine with his ex-wife. Then one day he started an affair. With his secretary that his ex-wife knew very well. The affair lasted a full year before the wife found it out.
At the company everybody knew about the affair cause they did not seem to keep it a secret. Every time the wife went to the office, she was the only one not knowing about it.
I really think it could have been humiliating…
So one day the wife found them together in a unmistakable situation.
A divorce followed. Assets were halved. Guy moved out and the mistress broke up with him. Ex-wife stayed with the kids.
The guy regrets it now but there is no way back.
In my view he threw away his happy life for some orgasms.
我遇到过。我有个亲戚，生活在一个看似幸福的家庭。他有两个孩子，他们似乎和前妻相处得很好。然后有一天，他开始了一段婚外情。对象是他前妻很熟悉的秘书。婚外情持续了整整一年，妻子才发现。
在公司里，每个人都知道这件事，因为他们似乎没有保守秘密。每次妻子去办公室，她是唯一个不知道这件事的人。
我真的认为这可能是一种耻辱。
所以毫无疑问的是妻子会发现他们在一起的情况。
随后离婚，资产减半。那家伙搬走了，情妇和他分手了，前妻和孩子们呆在一起。
这家伙现在后悔了，但已经没有回头路了。
在我看来，他为了一些性高潮而放弃了他的快乐生活。