有什么迹象表明你正在放弃自己的生活(二)

Chris Ebbert, Innovation Advisor at Government of Sweden

Chris Ebbert，瑞典政府创新顾问

I am not convinced that it is really possible to throw away your life, except for committing suicide or a crime that will put you behind bars for the rest of it. Because everything you do is good for something, and everything you might do, but aren’t doing, also has its drawbacks.
Yes, you may think a life as a used car sales person in Alberta is a wasted life, and that you’d rather be a yacht skipper in Queensland.
Well, it just so happens that I know a very happy used car sales person in Alberta, and a very unhappy yacht skipper in Queensland.
And that, I think, is the only bit where you can tell that you are wasting your life: When you’re unhappy. There is no point in remaining unhappy, just like there is no point in suffering pain.

我不相信真的有可能放弃你的生命，除非你自杀或犯罪—这将使你在监狱里度过余生。因为你做的每件事都有好处，因为你做的每件事都是有好处的，而你可能做但没有做的每件事也有其缺点。
是的，你可能认为在 亚伯达（加拿大西部的一个省）做一个二手车销售员的生活是一种浪费，你宁愿在昆士兰（澳大利亚州）做一名游艇船长。
嗯，碰巧我认识一个在亚伯达非常快乐的二手车销售员，和一个在昆士兰非常不快乐的游艇船长。
我认为，只有在你不快乐的时候，你才能知道你是在浪费生命。继续保持不快乐的状态是没有意义的，就像承受痛苦是没有意义一样。

Ayobola Ogunbanjo, Loves to counsel. Genuinely interested in others.
You are a social chameleon- You easily change your true colors, and you forcibly adapt to anyone around you. In the process, you wound your own dignity, and make it difficult for people to trust you.
You are obsessed with the rat race - It’s OK to strive to be better in life, but when you are consumed with winning the rat race, then you will constantly defeat yourself. Because, the truth is, there will always be people ahead of you.
You talk more than you act - Truly, you do have dreams and lots of goals. As a matter of fact, you constantly talk about them, but you never take steps to actualize them. Then, you are gradually throwing away your life.
You are the best in your circle - When you surround yourself always with people you are better than, you have to watch it, because you might not be challenged to do greater things. Thus, you might end up throwing away all the talents, intellect, etc, that could have been put to better use.
You are always sad - You see no reason to be happy, to smile or to laugh. Hence, you shut off the happy chemical ’endorphin’ that could have help elevate your mood and reduce your chance with depression.

你是社交变色龙—你很容易改变自己的本来面目，强迫自己去适应周围的任何人。在这个过程中，你伤害了自己的尊严，让人们很难信任你。
你沉迷于激烈的竞争—努力让生活变得更好是可以的，但是当你全神贯注于赢得这场激烈的竞争时，你就会不断地让自己受到打击。因为，事实是，总会有人在你前面。
你说的比你做的多—你的确有梦想和很多目标。事实上，你经常谈论它们，但你从来没有采取措施来实现它们。然后，你逐渐地放弃你的生活。
你在你的圈子里是最好的—当你身边总是围绕着没你强的人，你必须小心，因为你可能没有动力去做更伟大的事情。因此，你可能最终放弃了所有本可以更好地利用的天赋、才智等
你总是很悲伤—你看不到快乐、微笑或大笑的理由。因此，你关闭了快乐的化学物质“内啡肽”—可以帮助提升你的情绪，减少你患抑郁症的机会。

You always keep to yourself- I understand you could have been hurt, but hey! that’s not enough reason to cut ties with everyone. Or probably you are naturally quiet or shy. Whatever the reason you have, you short-change yourself once you refuse to interact with others. Imagine all the fun, happiness, love and opportunities you had be missing.
You sleep for more than half of the day- In as much as sleep is the good for the body, too much sleep can affect your productivity. You tend to procrastinate and just lazy around.
You waste everything- Money, time, friendship, ideas, and resources.
You do not forgive- Unforgiveness is a very bitter pill. It kills slowly and it stops you from enjoying all the sweetness that life has to offer.
You cannot define your goals in life- If you do not know what you want out of life or where you are going, then automatically, any route will serve you. Then, you might end up frustrated and unfulfilled.
You lack self-love- You cannot stand yourself. In fact, you love to talk down on yourself. The truth is you are damaging yourself and robbing yourself of the opportunity to grow.

你总是独来独往-我知道你可能会受伤，但是嘿！这还不足以成为切断与所有人联系的理由。或许你天生喜欢安静或害羞。无论你有什么理由，一旦你拒绝与他人互动，你就会忽略掉去改变自己。想象一下你错过的所有乐趣、幸福、爱和机会。
你一天中超过一半的时间都在睡觉——尽管睡眠对身体有好处，但过多的睡眠会影响你的工作效率。你有拖延和懒惰的倾向。
你浪费了一切—金钱、时间、友谊、想法和资源。
你不能原谅—不去原谅是一颗非常苦的药丸。它慢慢地杀死你，阻止你享受生活所提供的一切甜蜜。
你无法定义你的人生目标—如果你不知道你想要从生活中得到什么，或者你要去哪里，那么自然地，任何路线都会为你服务。然后，你可能会以沮丧和不满足告终。
你缺乏自爱—你无法忍受自己。事实上，你喜欢贬低自己、你正在损害自己，剥夺自己成长的机会。

Pratik Saha, Internal Auditor at HDFC Bank

Pratik Saha，住房开发金融公司银行的内部审计师

This happened yesterday.
It was a small narrow road.
Only one bus can pass through that road at any one time.
When the bus I was in turned into that road, there was another bus trying to enter the same road from the opposite direction.
When the driver of the other bus noticed this, he braked and drove the bus backwards making way for our bus.
After our bus drove down the slope, he drove up.
Both of them saved time and went ahead with their journeys with a good peace of mind.
Happy end.
Now assume, the bus driver felt that going backward as a form of defeat. He thought ‘Why should I go backward? I also have equal right. I will go forward. Let him go back’ and continued accelerating.
Strangely the other bus driver also felt the same thing.
Both reached the centre of the road and kept honking at the other to go back.

这是昨天发生的。
那是一条狭窄的小路—一次只能有一辆公共汽车通过那条路。
当我乘坐的公共汽车转入那条路时，另一辆公共汽车正试图从相反方向进入同一条路。
当另一辆公共汽车的司机注意到这一点时，他刹车，把公共汽车向后开退，为我们的公共汽车让路。
我们的公共汽车从山坡上开下来后，他就开车上去了。
他们俩都节省了时间，心平气和地继续旅行—快乐的结局。
现在假设，公共汽车司机觉得倒退是一种失败。他想‘我为什么要倒退？我也有同样的权利。我会继续开，让对方退回去，于是继续加速。
奇怪的是，另一位公交车司机也有同样的感觉。
两车都走到了路中央，并不停地按喇叭叫对方回去。

Each felt that they were giving a tough fight to the other and wanted to win.
However, the reality was,
By doing this both of them lost lot of time.
Due to the constant honking and abuses, they lost peace of mind.
Someone recorded this and put on Quora, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It went viral and both of them lost jobs.
So when do you throw away your life?
When you focus only on your fighting skill and keep fighting for hours, completely forgetting about what you are going to win by doing that fight.
It happens in our everyday lives.
Someone ridicules your elemnentary French. You want to prove to him that you are stronger than him. You practise for weeks, forgetting your work and learn a language that is going to be of no use to you.
Someone insults you. You spend months planning to pay him back and make him suffer.
Someone says you don’t have knowledge in particular topic that is going to be of no use or interest to you. You keep studying it for hours and finally prove him that you know it.

双方都觉得自己在和对方进行一场艰苦的战斗，都想赢。
但现实是这样做，他们俩都浪费了很多时间。
由于不断的鸣笛和辱骂，他们失去了平静的心情。
有人记录了这一点，并把它放在Quora、Facebook、Twitter和Instagram上。它像病毒一样传播开来，两人都失业了。
那你什么时候放弃你的生活？
当你只专注于你的战斗技能并持续战斗数小时，完全忘记了通过战斗你将赢得什么。
它发生在我们的日常生活中。
有人嘲笑你的法语。你想向他证明你比他强大。你练习了几个星期，但忘记了你的工作，学习了一门对你毫无用处的语言。
有人侮辱你，你花了几个月的时间计划报复他，让他受苦受难。
有人说你对某个特定的主题不够了解，而这对你来说是没有用的，你其实也没有兴趣的。但是你持续研究了几个小时，终于向他证明你知道这一点。

All these are illusory wars that start because your ego is hurt and your thinking is numbed. You are dragged to the war-field and you keep fighting.
And finally after long sweaty-and-bloody war, you sit down and realise what you have earned. Strangely, Nothing.
In fact, you have only wasted a lot of your valuable time and energy for that one person who was of no importance to you.
Sometimes, it is good to let go of it.
Sometimes, it is good to not bother about things that are only going to halt your progress.
What you win is more important than whether you have fought for it or not.
I tell people around me. If someone hurts your ego, don’t show it to him. He is going to die some day. What is the point in proving your ego to him. Instead show it in your work. If you do that, you will grow. Once you grow, he will automatically be invisible to your eyes. He will get lost in the crowd that looks at you in awe.
Instead, if you keep fighting with him, you are going to be at his level forever. You are only wasting you life in this process.

所有这些都是虚幻的战争，因为你的自尊受到伤害后你的思想变得麻木，你被拖到战场上继续战斗。
最后，在经历了漫长的血淋淋的战争之后，你坐下来，意识到你已经挣到了什么。但奇怪的是，却什么都没有。
事实上，你只是为了一个对你不重要的人浪费了很多宝贵的时间和精力。
有时候，放手是件好事。
有时候，最好不要为那些只会阻碍你进步的事情而烦恼。
你能收获什么比你是否为之奋斗更重要。
我告诉周围的人。如果有人伤害了你的自尊，不要让他看到，他总有一天会死的。向他证明你的自负有什么意义？相反，在你的作品中表现出来。如果你这样做，你就会成长。一旦你长大了，你的眼睛就看不见他了。他会在敬畏地看着你的人群中迷失方向。
相反，如果你继续与他战斗，你将永远处于他的水平，在这个过程中你只是在浪费生命。

Pranav Mishra, Passionate Writer, Keen Observer, Quoran.
These are a few signs, in my opinion.
You are doing things mechanically. Doing the same thing again and again and again…. not trying to improve. not trying to make it interesting.
You are stuck in a relationship, and not trying to make things work. You have given up on your relationship, but you are stuck and don’t want to move. It may also be that you have not even tried to improve your relationship.
You are not ready to accept the simple truths of life / fail to understand how the world works. World runs on certain rules. If you don’t follow them, you will more often miss the bus.
Wishful thinking. Things are not always going to go your way, until you really work hard for them. But you pre-assume your success and triumphs. You are just happy thinking of yourself as a winner.
Losing hope, even without making a serious attempt. Many people don’t even make a proper effort, and just decide to give up. Either they expect too much too early, or they never want to fail, or they are plain lazy. They should try and try, and never quit without making a sound effort.
Believing that you are a loser and can’t improve. Many people have already accepted that they are losers. They are not aware that there is immense potential inside every individual.
Addiction to stuff: alcohol, drugs, porn. This may consume so many years of an individual’s life.
Chatting too much. Unnecessary and unfocussed talking is way more harmful than we think. It doesn’t only kill ours and others’ time, but also make our thought-process insincere and unfocussed. We have to be focused to achieve the maximum out of our lives.

在我看来，这是一些迹象：
你在机械地做事，一次又一次地做同样的事情，不想改进，不想让它变得有趣。
你被困在一段关系中，不想努力去解决问题。你已经放弃了你们的关系，但你被困住了，不想离开，也可能是你甚至没有试图改善你们的关系。
你还没有准备好接受生活的简单真相，无法理解世界是如何运转的。其实世界是按一定的规则运行的。如果你不跟着他们走，你会更经常错过公共汽车。
一厢情愿的想法。事情不会总是如你所愿，除非你真的为之努力。但你预先假定了你能成功和获得胜利，你只是快乐地认为自己是一个赢家。
失去希望，甚至没有认真尝试。许多人甚至没有做出适当的努力，只是决定放弃。要么他们期望太高，要么他们永远不想失败，要么他们很懒。他们应该不断尝试，不付出努力就决不放弃。
相信自己是一个失败者，无法提高。许多人已经承认他们是失败者。他们没有意识到每个人都有巨大的潜力。
上瘾的东西：酒精，毒品，色情内容。这可能会消耗一个人生命中的许多年。
聊天太多。不必要和不集中的谈话比我们想象的更有害。它不仅浪费了我们和他人的时间，而且使我们的思维过程变得不真诚和不集中。我们必须专注于最大限度地实现我们的生活。

Hans Hajjaj, Digital Marketer/writer

Hans Hajjaj，数字营销人员/作家

1 - All your decisions are made by others for you
There are people who have lived their whole lives and accepted their affairs as they are, without changing, improving or developing. Don't be of them! You must live your life as you want it to be,
So, beware of letting others control your life, driving you as they like, and beware of hiding behind others who take responsibility for making important decisions in your life. Don't let others tell you what you want. You are the captain of your ship and you are in control of your own life.
2 - You do what you do only because it is safe
Do not let fear choose your future! Going through this life according to the easiest and safest options is the most dangerous thing you can harm yourself. You cannot improve while refuse to break out of the ordinary. You will not move forward unless you are ready to accept change. Yes, it is neither easy nor safe, but every step you take in this direction has a rewarding return. Nobody knows how many miles you will go chasing your dream until you achieve it, but this chase can make your life meaningful. Even when you fail, stumble, and delay fulfilling your dream, you are much better than those who do nothing to achieve their dream.

你的所有决定都是由他人为你做出的
有些人一生都在接受自己的事情，没有改变、改善或发展。不要和他们一样!你必须过你想要的生活。
所以，当心不要让别人控制你的生活，随心所欲地驾驭你，当心不要躲在那些对你的生活做出重要决定的人后面。不要让别人告诉你你想要什么。你是你船的船长，你控制着自己的生活。
你做你所做的只是因为它是安全的
不要让恐惧选择你的未来！按照最简单和最安全的选择度过这一生是你可能伤害自己的最危险的事情。你不能在拒绝打破常规的同时提高自己。除非你准备好接受改变，否则你不会前进。是的，这既不容易也不安全，但你朝着这个方向迈出的每一步都有回报。在你实现梦想之前，没有人知道你将要追求多少英里，但是这种追求可以让你的生活变得有意义。即使你失败了，绊倒了，延迟了实现梦想，你比那些什么都不做就能实现梦想的人强多了。

3 - You see nothing but obstacles
The difference between opportunity and obstacle is how you view it. See the positive in everything, and stop focusing on the negative. If you keep your head bent, you will miss seeing what life has to give you. When you encounter a problem, look at it as a window of opportunity, and don`t give up, then it becomes a powerful force that turns sadness into joy and depression into happiness, and makes problem-solving a habit, and you discover your hidden abilities to convert negative into positive.
4 - You work very hard, but your progress is zero
To succeed in this life and be happy in your life, you have to focus your attention on the right things, in the right way. All human beings have limited resources: our time is limited, and our energy is limited. This limitation makes it vital that we make better use of our resources, intelligently. Therefore, do not occupy your time and yourself with tasks of minor importance, do not confuse what concerns you with what is important to you.

你看到的只是障碍
机会和障碍的区别在于你如何看待它。看到每件事的积极面，停止关注消极面。如果你低着头，你会错过生活给你的一切。当你遇到一个问题时，把它看作是一扇机会之窗，不要放弃，然后它会变成一股强大的力量，把悲伤变成快乐，把沮丧变成快乐，让解决问题成为一种习惯，你会发现自己隐藏了将消极转化为积极的能力。
你工作很努力，但你的进步是零
要想在这一生中获得成功并在生活中获得快乐，你必须以正确的方式将注意力集中在正确的事情上。所有人都有有限的资源：我们的时间有限、精力有限。这种局限性使得我们更明智地利用我们的资源。因此，不要把你的时间和你自己都用在次要的任务上，不要把你关心的事情和对你来说重要的事情混为一谈。

5 - Those you care about don't care about you
If you find that you spend a time of your life to people, when they do not allocate their time to you likewise, or allocate a little portion of their time to you, or do not know you except for a reason or interest for them, then know that you are wasting your time and energy. The wrong things happen when you trust the wrong people and waste your time with them. Know the value of yourself among others, know the appreciation you get from them, and know the appreciation you deserve. Surround yourself with those who support you when things go wrong, and stand by you when people flee from you, and know that people come and go, and you must leave some of them to leave and open your arms to others to take their place, and this is how life goes on.

你关心的人并不关心你
如果你发现你一生中有一段时间花在了别人身上，而他们却没有分配同样的时间给你，或者把他们的一小部分时间分配给你，或者不认识你，除非是出于某种原因或兴趣，那么你就知道你在浪费你的时间和精力。当你信任错误的人并浪费时间与他们在一起时，错误的事情就会发生。知道自己在他人中的价值，知道你从他们那里得到的感激，知道你应得的感激。当你遇到困难时，和那些支持你的人在一起，当人们逃离你身边时，你要知道人们来来去去，你必须让他们中的一些人离开，并向其他人张开双臂来取代他们的位置，这就是生活的方式。

Mary Burnham Bischof, Practice and appreciate Buddhist philosophy.
Who am I to decide what signs indicate someone is throwing away life? It isn't really up to me to define such personal choices. We all have one thing in common. Our life is ours. There is no wrong way or right way one must follow or be put into the ‘throwing life away’ category. I'm not cool with judging someone for wasting their life because they do or don't do things I agree with. It's not up to me to designate. The only sign I feel justified to assign is if what a person does in their life causes real harm to me, anyone or thing other than themselves.
We can speculate from our own bias if by doing such and such a person is throwing their life away but why does it matter?

我是谁，凭什么去决定什么迹象表明某人正在放弃自己的生活？这种个人选择并不是由我来定义的。我们都有一个共同点。我们的活法都是由自己定义。没有对错之分，一个人必须遵循或被归入“放弃生活”的范畴。我不喜欢因为某人做或不做我赞同的事情就去评判他浪费生命，这不由我来决定。我认为唯一合理的迹象是，一个人在生活中所做的事是否对我造成了真正的伤害，对任何人或事造成了伤害，而不是对他们自己。
我们可以根据自己的偏见推测，这样或那样的人是否在放弃自己的生活，但这又有什么关系呢？
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Martin Bermea, Language Teacher: English, Spanish and German (2008-present)

Martin Bermea，语言教师：英语、西班牙语和德语（2008年至今）

This is so personal. Humans need some stress to get by. It's up to you to think that you are throwing your life away. It's funny that some people think that they are wasting their life just because they are wasting some time.
This is just another reason to feel stressed.
I guess you're wasting your life if you think that you are. By all means, do something about it. Get busy, think hard about what you want to do before death comes.
1000 years from now, no one is going to remember the top people from these times or you and me. Therefore be happy, while you can.
By the way, masturbation is a part of life. So is thinking that you are a failure. Cheer up. We all agree finding a nice couple is better than masturbation. Working on the field you like beats earning twice as much doing something you hate. Enjoy life while it lasts.

这太私人化了，人类需要一些压力才能生存。这取决于你是否认为自己在放弃生活。有趣的是，有些人认为他们放弃生活仅仅是因为他们在浪费时间。
这只是感到压力的另一个原因。
我想如果你认为你是在放弃生活。无论如何，做点什么吧。忙碌起来，好好想想在死亡来临之前你想做什么。
1000年后，没有人会记得这些时代的顶尖人物或者你和我。因此，当你还能快乐时，就快乐吧。
顺便说一下，手淫是生活的一部分。认为你是个失败者也是如此。振作起来我们都同意找到一对好伴侣比手淫要好这个观点。在你喜欢的领域工作比做你讨厌的事情赚两倍的钱要好。趁生活还在继续，好好享受吧。

Nat, Lived and reflected long enough
If what you are doing doesn’t make you happy and doesn’t get you closer to the place where you want to be in the future, you are throwing away your life.
Therefore the safest way to never throw away your life is to find your passion, and enjoy it.
The sure way to throw away your life is to do what you dislike but others want you to do. Never do something you dislike unless it is something that you know it will bring you something you truly like afterwards. To invest for the future it can pay off。

如果你所做的不能让你快乐，不能让你离你未来想要的地方更近，你就是在放弃你的生活。
因此，永不放弃生活的最安全方式就是找到你的激情所在，并享受它。
放弃你的生活的唯一方法就是做你不喜欢但别人希望你做的事。永远不要做你不喜欢的事情，除非你知道它会给你带来你真正喜欢的东西，为未来投资是有回报的。

Sreenivas S. Iyer
One is never feeling energized or happy.
The person is bored of the daily monotonous routines.
He feels if he is stuck with a job which he is not sure of being content or enthusiastic about going to the work place every day.
The person does not get proper sleep in spite of being tired due to constantly being bothered about the way his life is taking shape.
One is not feeling settled in his or her life because of various insecurities.
The person is not having a good social life. He is not having anybody to talk and from whom he can seek inspiration.
One starts feeling frustrated and angry very often due to the situation he is in.

一个人永远不会感到精力充沛或快乐。
这个人对每天单调的日常生活感到厌倦。
他觉得，如果他被一份工作困住了，他就不会对每天去工作场所感到满意或充满热情。
这个人虽然很累，但却不能得到适当的睡眠，因为他总是被自己的生活方式所困扰。
一个人因为各种各样的不安全感而在他或她的生活中感到不安定。
这个人没有良好的社交生活。他没有任何人可以交谈，也没有可以寻求灵感的人。
一个人开始因为他所处的环境而感到沮丧和愤怒。

Kristian Pilg?rd, lives in Denmark
Life, or if your a winner or loser is relevant to the goals you set yourself.
If you set out to live in forest, and do so comfortably. Then all good.
If setting out to be rich, and become rich, but then complain, well.. then not so great.
What I am trying to say is, if your throwing away your life or not, will be relevant to yourself, what you think, your goals, values and all.
Some often ask how some people can have so little ambition in life!, maybe scorn for the life they lead, too simple maybe for some. but they may be content. They may also want something else, but later. Maybe they just don’t tell about their plans all the time.
I could say throwing life away is sitting at a computer, playing games all day. But that may be enjoyable for person to do. I also enjoy that sometimes.
I could say a good meaningful life is being outdoors.. but others may think that is mindless, overlooking a lot else in life.

生活，或者如果你的成功或失败与你自己设定的目标有关。
如果你开始住在森林里，而且生活舒适。那一切都好。
如果开始发财，变得富有，然后抱怨，那么就不太好了。
我想说的是，如果你是否放弃你的生活，这将与你自己、你的想法、你的目标、价值观以及一切有关。
有人经常问，为什么有些人在生活中如此没有雄心壮志!也许对他们的生活不屑一顾，也许对某些人来说太简单了。但他们可能会感到满足。他们可能也想要别的东西，但以后再说。也许他们只是不经常告诉你他们的计划
我可以说，放弃生活就是整天坐在电脑前玩游戏。但这对一个人来说可能是一种享受。我有时也喜欢这样。
我可以说一个美好而有意义的生活就是在户外。但其他人可能认为这是愚蠢的，忽视了生活中的许多其他方面。