他们说“问问又没什么大不了”,但在什么情况下“问问也很大不了”?
They say "It never hurts to ask", but what are some examples where "It hurts to ask"?译文简介
最好别问。
正文翻译
They say "It never hurts to ask", but what are some examples where "It hurts to ask"?
他们说“问问又没什么大不了”,但在什么情况下“问问也很大不了”?
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"Hey teacher, are you going to collect the homework you assigned yesterday?"
“嘿老师,你今天要收昨天留的作业吗?”
At military school, many years ago, an upperclassman friend was giving some shit to a plebe. As one does.
在军校,很多年以前的事了,我有个上层阶级的朋友,在教训一个平民出身的新兵。
人上人:(因为鞋子没好好打光而吼了一顿之后)“还有你为什么连他妈的眼镜都能戴歪。戴正了!”
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平民:“长官,我小的时候出过车祸,我的右耳和右眼比左边的要低3/4英寸,这是当时的手术最好的结果了,长官。”
人上人:什么也没说,看了看他的左右耳,看到了伤疤
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人上人:“呃。保持努力。”(走了)
One day back when I was at school, I didn’t have my phone on silent, and it went off during class. The teacher thought he’d make an example out of me and ask who the text was from. I replied “My Mum. She’s in hospital with cancer.” He shut right up and went back to the lesson.
在我还上学的时候,我当时手机没有静音,上课的时候响了。老师觉得他可以拿我当一个反例,于是问我短信是谁发来的。我回答“我妈妈。她得了癌症在住院。”他立刻闭上了嘴,回去上课了。
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(她当时得了四期大肠癌。预后生存率是25%,所以基本上每个人都非常紧张。那是差不多15年前的事了。幸运的是她仍然陪伴在我们的身边,前一阵子完全康复了。)
As a teenager I worked in a grocery store, I saw a customer who's back was to me struggling with all there items, so I asked "do you need a hand?". The man turned around and I could see he was missing a hand, there was just a stub there, that is why he was struggling. He was a good sport and said "Yes, it seems I do!", lifting his arm missing the hand in the air.
青少年时我在一家超市打工。我看到一个背对我的客人,很困难地整理着他买的东西,于是我问他“你需要帮把手吗?”那个人转了过来,我发现他有一只手截肢了,那里只剩个头儿,所以他才这么费劲。但他是个好人,他说“没错,看起来我确实需要!”,举起了他没有手的那只胳膊,在空中挥了一下。
That's not so bad, dude knew you couldn't see that they were missing it and it's just a common phrase. I know two people with that same disability and they've told me it never bothers them, because someone is asking if you need help :) That said, they don't speak for everyone.
这其实并没有那么糟糕,那个兄弟知道你看不见他没有手,而且这也只是常用语而已。我认识两个有这种残疾的人,他们跟我说过这种话从来都没让他们生气过,因为这是别人在问你需不需要帮助。话虽如此,他们也不能代表所有人。
“When are you going to have children?” or any variation. Be ready to be told they’ve lost a baby, infertility, sexless marriage, etc.
“你什么时候打算生孩子?”或者类似的问题。准备好听见别人告诉你,他们曾经失去过孩子,不孕不育,无性婚姻等等。
就干脆别问。
I had a prepared response for that in my youth.
我年轻的时候就准备好了这个问题的回答了。
同事:“你想要孩子吗?”
我:不用了谢谢,我吃过了。
Any question from a supposed authority or expert that reveals a complete lack of understanding of the matter in question. E.g., a judge who once asked why the YouTube video under evidence could not be printed for him to review.
一个本来是某一领域的专家的人,问出的问题却暴露了他对这个领域的完全无知。例如,有位法官曾经问过为什么一个用作证据的YouTube视频不能给他打印下来让他看。
没有什么比当你意识到你的工作和你公司的声誉现在完全处于某个对于你的工作内容没有任何了解的人的掌控之下的时候你内心的那种痛苦的哀嚎更糟糕的了。
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Remember the video of the representative (not sure what office) who was asking a navy officer if expanding a naval base on Guam would cause the island to capsize. That was hilarious and terrifying.
我还记得有个视频,有一个代表(不太确定是哪个职位的)在询问一名海军军官,在关岛上扩建海军基地的话会不会导致那个岛屿翻个底朝天。这既可笑又令人感到害怕。
the name of someone youve known for awhile
你认识了很久的那个人的名字。
I once had a friend in college that it took nearly 6 months to figure out his name even after going out for drinks after our evening class every week. I think both of us didn’t want to admit we didn’t know each other’s name so we just went with “buddy” for months until we recognized another student at the bar and we introduced ourselves and realized we were finally going to learn each other’s name
我上大学时曾经交过一个朋友,我花了将近六个月的时间才知道他的名字,尽管我们每星期上完晚课都会一起出去喝酒。我想我们两个都不愿意承认我们不知道对方的名字,所以我们就用“兄弟”彼此称呼了好几个月,直到我们有一天在酒吧认出了另一个学生,我们向他介绍自己的时候才发现我们终于有机会知道彼此叫什么名字了。
As a server, “Where’s that other woman you always come in with?”
作为一名服务员,“之前一直跟你一起来的那个女人呢?”
Retail too.
零售业也是。
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我有个常客,总是会来店里买烟。万宝路黑红短烟,和万宝路硬金短烟。每次我看到他走进门,我都会在柜台上提前给他准备好这两款烟。
有一天我听说他的夫人去世了,此后我有一星期没见过他。在我见到他之后,我把两盒烟拿出来给他备好。等到他走到柜台看到了这两盒烟,他难过地说了一句“这次不用硬金了。”
我感觉特别难过
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Between one of my friends and a random person at the blood bank (I was donating and we were going to go get lunch afterwards).
我的一个朋友和一个陌生人在献血站发生的对话(我去献血,我们之后打算吃午餐)
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陌生人:你也来献血吗?
他:我要是能的话会献,但从医学上讲我不能献。
陌生人:为啥?你得艾滋病了?
他:……
他确实得了艾滋病。
What happened to your baby? I thought you were pregnant?
“你的孩子呢?我以为你之前怀孕了?”
My husband teaches high school and told everyone we were expecting at the end-of-school picnic. I was 20 weeks pregnant. We got a fatal diagnosis at the anatomy scan the very next day and lost the baby two weeks later. We did a lot of mourning over the summer. When he went back to school this fall, BAM. First question everyone had.
我丈夫教高中,他在学期末的野餐会上跟所有人说我们要有孩子了。当时我怀孕20周。第二天我们接受了胚胎检查,两星期之后流产了。那个夏天我们非常难过。在他今年秋天回到学校的时候,梆。所有人问的第一个问题。
It’s just a hit-or-miss topic. It’s no one’s fault for asking, i just think more folks need to be aware that when it misses it REALLY misses.
因为不问就没机会问了。别人问起这件事并不是他们的错,我只是觉得更多人应该意识到,如果这个问题的回答不是你预想的那样,那就真的会非常让人难过。
我希望你的同事和他的家人都还好。你永远不会考虑世界上有多少的孕妇和新生儿,直到你失去了自己的那一个。
Are we more than friends?
我们是不是不只是朋友?
Reminds me of a buddy of mine who asked a girl he had been hooking up with for a few months why she didn't have a boyfriend. They did not communicate very well apparently, she thought he was her boyfriend.
让我想起我有个哥们在撩了一个妹子几个月之后问她为什么她还没有男朋友。他们之间显然没沟通明白,她一直以为他就是她的男朋友。
Firefighter/paramedic here.
我是一名消防员/急救护理人员。
我们最讨厌的问题就是,“你接过的最糟糕的报警是什么样子的”
想象一下你能想出来的最糟糕的事情,并且有人还得接这个电话。生病的人,受伤的人,每一次创伤,每一次过量服用,每一起自杀,每一起一个人对另一个人犯下的恶行,每一场事故,每一个死去的孩子,丈夫,妻子,父亲,母亲。
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所以当你问出,“你接过的最糟糕的报警是什么”的时候,我们就得回忆我们这辈子经历过的最惨痛的事情,然后还要像讲笑话一样说出来。
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我痛恨这个问题。
Asking paramedics/cops/whoever to tell you about the worst thing they ever saw.
问急救护理人员,警察或什么人,让他们告诉你他们见过的最糟糕的事情。
"teacher, is there any homework for tonight?"
“老师,今晚有作业吗?”
Is it in yet?
“进来了吗?”
Is it worse for the guy or the girl to ask this?
这个是男的问更糟糕,还是女的问更糟糕?
How to ruin his confidence: “is it in yet?”
如何毁掉他的自信:“进来了吗?”
如何毁掉她的自信:“我不知道。”
I once asked for a pay increase. My boss then asked what I was on and I told him he said oh you shouldn't be on that much.
我曾经去找老板加薪。我的老板问我现在的薪酬是什么水平,我告诉他之后他说噢你不该拿这么多薪水。
Asking veterans if they’ve ever killed anyone.
问老兵他们杀没杀过人。
When my Mother started dating my future Stepdad, he and I were talking in private one night while she was cooking dinner in the other room. I was a smartass 11 year old (dumbass really fits better, here). My Mom had mentioned that he was a veteran of Vietnam. This exchange happened.
我妈妈刚开始和我未来的继父约会的时候,有一天晚上我和他坐在一个房间里,我妈妈在另一个房间做完饭。我当时是个11岁的小机灵鬼(在这个情况下小蠢蛋更合适)。我妈妈之前跟我说过他是个越战老兵。于是就发生了如下的对话。
我:“我听说你去过越南。”
他:“我当然去过。”
我:(觉得自己很机灵)“哦真的?你杀过人吗?”
他顿了一下,而我没能抑制住自己脸上狡黠的笑容。
他:“嗯。”
听到这句话之后我就惊呆了。我当时以为有很多人是不在作战单位中服役的。接下来的话我想了很久,但我只能说出:
我:“你……你吐过吗?”
他:“很多很多次。”
此后我再也没对一名老兵问过这种糟糕的问题。
A new girl started at my old job and we were having a slow day so we all began to chitchat and somehow got on the topic of house pest. Someone brought of roaches and she asked “what do they form from?” No one was sure what she was asking so she stated “like ants form from rotting food, what do roaches form from?” This girl, late 20s, mother of two, believed that food would rot to the point it turned into ants. Like some kind of magic metamorphosis. That blows my mind. Someone can believe that last months meatloaf is about to become a swarm of insects.
我干之前那份工作的时候来了个新的妹子,我们那天不忙,所以都开始聊天,聊着聊着就说到了家庭害虫的事。有人提起了蟑螂,然后她就问“蟑螂是什么变的?”当时没人知道她在问什么,于是她接着说“就比如说蚂蚁是从腐烂的食物变的,那蟑螂是从什么变的?”这个妹子,快三十岁了,两个孩子的妈,觉得食物烂到一定程度就会变成蚂蚁。就像是某种神奇的化形术一样。我都惊呆了。有人竟然相信上个月没吃的肉馅糕能变成一群虫子。
True story.
真实的故事。
我和老婆本来是要生双胞胎,但其中一个流产了。我们到家的时候(我们住在公寓楼)我老婆不想把这件事分享给其他人,她只想自己一个人待一会儿。
当时我觉得提前去周围邻居家说一声,给他们透露点消息应该不错。请给我们留点空间。
我在通知一对夫妻的时候,附近的中年大妈婊偷听到了对话,就挤了进来。我十分抗拒地对她说了这件事,但我告诉她不要跟我老婆说。
那天晚上她就来敲门了,借口是她刚好路过,不知道我们过得怎么样。
于是我老婆冷落了我好几星期。
过了几个月,变成了单亲爸爸的我带着孩子在社区周围散步。我在大厅里被那个大妈堵住了。
她问我最近怎么样?
“当爸爸很难。”我跟她说。
“你能想象如果你带的是双胞胎有多难吗?”
To fire/EMS/police: what's the worst thing you've ever seen?
对消防员/急救人员/警察:你见过的最糟糕的东西是什么?
永远别问这个问题。“你做过的最酷的事情是什么?”这个问题要好得多,并且你能听到非常酷的故事。
Me: I saw you at the game Saturday, how old is your daughter?
我:我周六在比赛上看见你了,你女儿今年多大?
我的客户:我儿子今年九岁。
“Hey boss, I got an offer from another company for more money. Any way you can match? “
“嘿老板,我从另一个公司拿了个offer,他们给的钱更多。你有没有什么条件?”
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回答:“没有。我们会重新招聘人才填补你的空缺。”
新工作:“有人已经比你提前接受了这个职位。”
用新工作当杠杆讨价还价的时候最好小心一点。你基本上是立刻被领导层从长远规划中排除掉了。
编辑一下:
我主要是在说那些主动找工作来要求加薪的人。这种行为非常风险,尤其在你本来没有换工作的打算的情况下。
和帖子下面很多人说的相反,对于那些大公司来说,针对单个岗位同时面试并尝试雇佣多个人是很平常的事情。大多数的公司都有数个相同的岗位等待应聘。因为他们会经常创建新的团队和新的部门。
Asking someone you’re crazy about, who isn’t interested in you, if they want to go out sometime.
问那个你喜欢得不行,但对你一点也不感兴趣的人,有没有时间出门。
真的很难受。
Real story, co worker asked other co worker “well where were you yesterday? Enjoying your day off?” In tears and VERY, VERY, VERY angry she replies “I was attending my grand daughters funeral…” just awkward and painful silence
真实的故事,一个同事问另一个同事“你昨天去哪了?享受假期去了?”她流着眼泪,非常非常非常愤怒地回答:“我在参加我孙女的葬礼……”当时的沉默又尴尬又痛苦。
Business meeting: wamp wamp wamp wamp wamp wamp wamp... Any questions?
商务会议:巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉……有问题吗?
别他妈问问题。这就是个陷阱。
等会开完了所有人都会开始互相问问题。
This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I’m in the tech industry, working for a big company, and it’s not uncommon to go to a presentation with a large audience, or big meetings with way too many people. Then, get to the end: “any questions? Anybody? … No more questions? … OK? … OK, see you all- oh yes a question!” I don’t know if this is a cultural thing or what, but there are always people who (a) seem to want to be seen asking a question, and actually have to sit there trying to think of a question to ask, and (b) wait until “any questions?” has been asked multiple times, only interjecting when we are literally moments away from getting TF out of there.
我最受不了的就是这种事。我在科技领域,为一个大公司工作,所以我会经常参加那些观众很多的演讲,或是太多人参与的大型会议。然后,到结尾了:“有问题吗?有人吗?没有问题了对吧?好的?……好的我们下次见——哦好的有人问问题!”我不知道这是文化上的差别还是什么,但好像总是有这么一种人,他们要么是想要显得自己会问问题,所以在那里想半天想出一个可以问的问题;要么是等“有问题吗?”问了好几遍,然后等到我们只差几秒钟就可以赶紧滚出这该死的地方的时候突然插进来问个问题。
The questions are never worth it.
而且他们问的问题永远都没有任何价值。
基本上有一半的情况你可以看出那个人是有自己的打算,他想要通过直接向管理层提问的方式让自己的那个无足轻重的问题显得重要一些,而另一半的情况就是虽然它本身是个好问题,但对方肯定也不会给出直接的回答。
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Quote from man that was stabbed "what are you gonna do, stab me?"
那个被捅的人说的:“你还能怎么着,捅我?”
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When you ask a woman if she’s pregnant…
问一个女人她是不是怀孕了……
I've been asked this twice, both times I was wearing the same dress (and was not pregnant)... not wearing that dress anymore.
我被问过两次,两次我都穿着同样的衣服(并且我并没有怀孕……)此后我就再也没穿过哪件衣服了。
Yeeeeah I had an older lady customer argue with me over whether or not I was pregnant while I was mopping. Like no that would be physically impossible but...
没错我曾经遇到过一个老太太,在我拖地的时候过来跟我争论我是不是怀孕了。就根本没这个可能但是……
“但你额头都冒汗了!”
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因为天热……
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我最喜欢的是她的回答:
“行吧我不知道你咋回事,反正我很失望!”
Asking someone to repeat themselves a 3rd time.
让某个人把自己说过的话重复第三遍。
而且永远不是什么重要的东西——那个人通常喊的都是:“那边的草可真湿啊!”