你所在的小城里最大的丑闻是什么？
What was the biggest scandal in your small town?
译文简介
小城故事多。
正文翻译
What was the biggest scandal in your small town?
你所在的小城里最大的丑闻是什么？
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I love in a Canadian border town. This police officer, nice as hell, that my grandmother cleaned for would gift her things, and seemed to have alot more money than your average cop. She would get wine, cheese, and other things. The most gifted item however, was cheese.
我住在一个加拿大的边境小城。有这么一位警官，特别善良，雇我奶奶给他打扫房间，他会送我奶奶一些礼物，并且看起来比普通的警察要有钱的多。她会收到葡萄酒，奶酪之类的东西。但是最经常收到的礼物还是奶酪。
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与此同时，我家门口的街上还有一家披萨店。店主住在离我家不远的地方，我跟他们家儿子是朋友，他的父母对邻居们都挺好的。
他们手里也有不少钱，对于一个快要倒闭的披萨店店主来说未免有点太多了。过了一阵子，事情变得严重了起来。我几乎每天都会在上学路上看见便衣警察在街道的尽头坐着。他们隐藏得并没那么成功，但披萨店的店主也不是。
最后事情暴露了。一群警察和餐厅店主都被抓进了牢里，这是我们这座城里有史以来最大的奶酪贪污案。
没错，奶酪。
加拿大奶酪的价格贵的离谱。所以警察局里有几个人决定用他们的职权从边界走私奶酪。
他们会跨过边境，买来他们能买到的一切便宜又好用的东西，然后用他们的警徽回到国内。因为边境巡逻人员和警察互相都认识，所以他们交税的概率是0%。
这就是我们这座城里最大的丑闻。如果你搜索奶酪走私者或是奶酪丑闻的话，你说不定还能搜到。
Probably the Brown's Chicken Massacre, where 7 people were murdered at the restaurant over a robbery. Case was cold for 9 years until the girlfriend on one of the murderers went to the police that he had confessed to her. He and his friend were eventually convicted through DNA and a confession.
应该就是布朗炸鸡店屠杀案了，七个人在一家饭店里的抢劫案中被杀害。案件被冷落了九年，直到其中一个杀人犯的女朋友去报了警，杀人犯向她坦白了。最终他和他的朋友们被通过DNA和供词定罪了。
Not much of a scandal but more of a tragic event.
并不算是什么丑闻，更像是悲剧吧。
在我住的小城里，有个女孩失踪了，最后在运河水道里的一个漂浮的行李箱中发现了她的尸体。结果犯人是她邻居，他也有个女儿，是死者的玩伴。全城当时都对此非常震惊，因为这离我们太近了。
Back in the 80s, during my senior year one guy in my high school class got 4 girls pregnant in a month long period. None of the girls were his girlfriend. The guy and his family left town during the middle of the night soon after that.
在80年代，我上高三的时候，我们班有个男的在一个月内把四个女孩干怀孕了。这四个女孩没有一个是他女朋友。不久之后那个男的全家人半夜从城里跑了。
4... He got 4 women pregnant in a month? Did people in the 80's know about condoms? What the fuck
四个……一个月之内让四个女人怀孕？80年代的人知道保险套吗？我草
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Small towns usually have the problem of the pharmacy employees being connected somehow to your own family. A lot of teens are incredibly paranoid and embarrassed about the prospect of buying condoms from someone they personally know or who could blab about it to their parents. So many of them go without out of embarrassment.
小城通常存在的问题就是药房的员工可能跟你家里人都认识。很多青少年都对此非常害怕，觉得去买保险套结果卖套的人认识他或者会把这件事情说给他们家长会很尴尬。所以很多人处于尴尬都不会去买。
Mayor and several city councillors were taking kickbacks and bribes from demolition/construction/cleaning companies for clean up contracts after a hurricane, funded by FEMA.
市长和很多市议员都会在风灾之后为那些拆除/建设/清扫公司提供来自联邦应急管理署的清理合同，从而收取贿赂和回扣。
这些公司会给市长和市议员几千美元，然后这个公司就能拿到联邦应急管理署几万美元的合同，来清扫或拆除一处被飓风损毁的建筑，但是给管理署的、在合同上的那栋建筑地址是虚假的，所以公司拿了钱却什么都不用做。
This is why we cant have nice things.
所以我们不配拥有美好的事物。
但我说真的，腐败是污染每一个体制的恶魔。反腐法律应该是我们所制定的最严格的法律。当我们遇到腐败案件的时候，不管它是公众人物，比如你这个例子里的市长，还是什么国有企业或是非盈利机构里私自敛财的人，我们都应该想，“这种罪行只用这种惩罚真的是公平的吗”。腐败就是腐败，腐败应该在所有层面都被根除。
Corruption, and the expectation of corruption, literally destroys societies. Like, Afghanistan.
腐败，以及对腐败的预期，真的会毁掉整个社会。比如阿富汗。
Sometimes the fines levied on companies who steal are less then the total amount they stole. So financially it makes sense for them to keep doing it.
有时对那些贪腐的公司开出的罚单甚至都不能涵盖他们的全部违法所得。所以从收支上来说，他们完全可以接着这么做。
Really, it should always start with paying back 100% of the effect or the profit, whichever applies, then you work on fines from there. Of course, keeping in mind that the fine should also be multiplied enough that it discourages "playing the odds".
说真的，就应该从没收100%违法所得开始，不论案件大小，然后再往上收罚款。当然，你要记住罚款也得乘几倍，让他们绝对不敢“打赌”。
A bigger problem is quantizing the wealth or money sided or earned by corruption, even if you're prosecuted you can find ways to undervalue the amount earned using corrupt ways
更大的问题是如何量化通过腐败得到的财富或金钱。就算你被起诉了，你也总是能找到把那些贪腐得来的财产的价值低估的方法。
It would make sense for anti-corruption laws to be much stronger in penalties due to the societal impact being much more significant. You're literally robbing every taxpayer among the other crimes of fraud, conspiracy, etc... Robbing one person would be bad enough to land you a hefty sentence - robbing thousands and/or millions of people should be substantially worse.
反腐的法律在量刑上本来就应该更严格一些，因为腐败的社会影响更大。除了其他诈骗，密谋的罪名之外，你实质上是在抢劫每一名纳税人的钱。抢劫一个人就足够让你被定很大的罪了，抢劫成千上万甚至数百万人就应该更严重。
What grinds my gears is how easily people in power are corrupted. It's as if lying and cheating is as easy a decision as buying a loaf bread.
最让我受不了的就是掌权的人们为什么这么容易腐败。就好像撒谎和欺骗像买一条面包一样容易。
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他们当权了，他们就拿钱贿赂自己的朋友。你能怎么办？从穷困的非洲国家到超级大国，全都一样。
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A group of zebras escaped a local, legal habitat and have been roaming the suburbs. It’s been weeks and they still haven’t been caught
我们这儿有一群斑马从当地的合法栖息地逃跑了，现在在郊区到处乱跑。已经过了好几个星期了，仍然没抓住。
So many of these are “teacher rapes student” or “parent kills child” or something horrible and then we’ve got “Group of zebras escaped”. Thank you for this one.
这里有太多“老师强奸学生”或是“家长杀了孩子”之类可怕的帖子，结果来了个“一群斑马跑了”。谢谢你发这个。
College professor was found tied to a tree and burned months after he disappeared. Police ruled it a suicide
大学教授失踪后几个月，被人发现他被绑在树上烧死了。警察认为这是自杀。
Suicide?!
自杀？！
I’m still not sure why they called it a suicide. Everyone knows there’s no way it could be that. I recently heard that a documentary was made about it. Not sure where to locate it because it was some obscure group that made it
我仍然不太明白为什么他们认为这是自杀。所有人都看得出来这根本不可能是自杀。我最近听说有人针对这件事拍了个纪录片。不知道在哪能找到，因为拍片的是个不知名的团体。
Bruh that is totally suicide just like the guy that shot himself in the back of the head 3 times with a revolver.
得了吧这肯定是自杀，就像那个拿左轮手枪往自己后脑勺开了三枪的家伙一样。
Or the other guy that was found dead and bloody inside a suitcase that was locked from the outside, totally a suicide.
或者那个被人发现浑身是血死在一个只能从外面上锁的行李箱里的家伙。显然是自杀。
There was an anesthetist, who worked at our local hospital and another hospital in a different town. He was rather well known among other doctors and known to be good at what he was doing. He only had a small problem with being addicted to pain killers and anaesthetics.
有这么一名麻醉师，在我们当地的医院和另一座城市的议员工作。他在附近的医生群体中很出名，都知道他的工作很出色。但他对止痛药和麻醉剂成瘾。
所以为了在不被别人发现的情况下满足自己的瘾，他先把给病人的药往自己身体里打一点，然后再拿同一根针去注射他的患者。
一开始没人发现，后来有人发现他有六十多个病人感染了肝炎。而他自己是源头。
他被开除了，他的执照也被吊销了。但医院的声誉仍然受到了严重影响。
Shit like this makes me wonder.
这种事儿总是让我想不明白。
我五年前去看过一次牙医，到现在我也没办法忘掉。我要去补牙，于是他给我打了一针奴佛卡因。他开始钻我的牙，但我能感觉到疼痛，于是他又给了我一针。仍然感得到疼痛，他就又给我打了第三针。打了五针奴佛卡因（显然已经是最大剂量了），我仍然能感到疼痛。当时我已经吓傻了，疼得不行，我说就算牙上有个洞我也要走。他让我坐下来，在我仍然有知觉的情况下把我的牙补完了。
此后我再也没去看过牙医，并且我还有看牙医的必要。
It is likely that the dentist was just not doing their job well or that you are immune to novacaine. There are alternative. Please seek out a dentist that provides alternative. Going to the dentist is not really optional in the long run
很可能你的那个牙医只是没做好自己的本职工作，或者你可能对奴佛卡因免疫。有替代的药物的。请去找一个能为你提供替代药物的牙医。长期来看，看牙医真的不是什么可有可无的事情。
This has happened to me twice! And I had a dental emergency a couple weeks ago and notified them of my past experience and apparently they were able to use other types of local anesthetic. Still had to give me like 5 or 6 shots and it took awhile to kick in, but it worked!
这种事情在我身上发生过两次！我几星期之前去看了牙科的急诊，我跟他们说了过往的经历，显然他们是可以给我应用其他的局部麻醉药的。虽然我仍然得打五六针，并且等了一阵子才有效果，但也确实有效果！
The mayor went to meet what he thought was an underage girl but was really the cops.
我们这儿的市长以为自己去跟未成年女孩约会，结果等着他的是警察。
与此同时，城里最大的那个公司的董事长的儿子也跟未成年女孩交往被抓了。但是就在开庭之前，她却公开宣布放弃起诉了。
这里面肯定有事儿。
In 2000. A girl’s body was found on the steps of the local middle school. She had been beaten, raped, strangled, and burned. The officer that arrived at the scene was a rookie officer. Since he was the first in the scene the police department made him in charge of the case. The case was massively botched. The murder had shocked the community and a lot of people were talking. Several years later, the police marked it as a cold case. A local woman was doing her own detective work. She reached out to a journalist from the UK. The journalist flew to meet the woman and investigate the murder and missteps by the police. They uncovered a massive cover-up. The local police department was hostile towards the journalist and local. To the point that the state FBI branch had to get involved to protect the investigation. Due to the police departments terrorizing behavior, they ended up getting investigated by the FBI. Apparently they knew who had committed the crime. A local drug dealer, who was cozy with the police. He eventually was arrested and sent to prison for life. The police department got a slap on the wrist. The journalist went back to the UK and the local woman moved to a nearby city.
2000年，人们在当地中学门口的台阶上发现了一个女孩的尸体。她被殴打，强奸，脖子被勒过，身上有烧伤。到场的是个刚上岗的警官。因为他是第一个抵达案发现场的，警察局让他负责这个案件。这个案件的进展被严重阻碍了。整个社区都震惊了，很多人都在说这件案子。几年以后，警察局认定这是一桩悬案。当地有个女人在自己侦查这起案件。她找到了一个英国的记者。记者飞到这里来见这个女人，两人一起调查这起谋杀，以及警方采取的不当行为。结果他们查出了规模巨大的掩盖事实行为。当地警察局对于这个记者和女人非常敌对，以至于FBI在这个州的分支得派人手过来保护这场调查。由于警察局让人恐怖的行为，警察局也被FBI调查了。显然他们很清楚是谁犯下的这桩罪行。是当地的一个毒贩，跟警察的关系很好。他最终被逮捕了，被判了终身监禁。警察局却只有轻微的惩罚。记者回到了英国，那个女人则搬到了附近的一座城市。
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Gonna have to go with the woman who killed a 8 month pregnant women, cut out the baby, and tried to pass it off as hers.
我得讲讲那个杀害了怀孕八个月的孕妇的女人，她把胎儿从孕妇的肚子里剖了出来，打算当自己的孩子养。
Yep. Happened in my town too. The woman brought the baby to the hospital I now work at (I didn’t work there at the time, but my supervisor did). Horrific story and baby didn’t survive.
没错，在我住的城市也发生过。那个女人还把孩子带到了我现在工作的这家医院（当时我还没在这上班，但我的上司在）。非常吓人的故事，并且那个孩子也没活下来。
Im from a very small town in Canada. Very quiet, nothing big ever came up and it was a fairly tight-knit community. One day, and explosion went off in an apartment building. A 23 yr old, single mother (who also happens to be a quadriplegic) was killed instantly.
我来自加拿大的一座非常小的城镇。非常安详，从来没发生过什么大事，社区里的关系也非常紧密。有一天，一栋公寓楼里发生了一起爆炸案。一个23岁的单身母亲（并且高位截瘫）当场死亡。
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案子最终被破了，那场爆炸是她之前的金融咨询师送给她的，包装成礼物的炸弹。他从她那里捞了几十万美元，因此进了监狱。后来他被保释了，于是就留下了这个炸弹。
A guy brought a baggie of grass to the police department, saying he had bought it off of the teens hanging around at the downtown park. He wanted them to shut down the drug dealing.
我这儿有个人带着一包草跑到了警察局，说这是他从市中心的公园那些闲逛的孩子们那里买来的。他想让警察制止这种贩毒行为。
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警察礼貌地告诉他，那是一包草。草坪里剪下来的那种。
这就是我们这座城里最大的丑闻了。
The local drunk got into an argument with another regular at a popular bar, pulled out a gun, and shot the other guy to death.
我们这儿有个醉鬼在一家生意很好的酒吧里跟另一个常客吵了起来。醉鬼掏出了枪，把另一个人打死了。
这本身不是丑闻。死的那个家伙人特别好，街坊邻居都喜欢他。酒吧里的其他人解除了那个醉鬼的武装，制服了袭击者，等到了警察过来。警长到场之后，说“看起来你们都需要跟他再唠两句。我等会儿再回来。”
于是酒吧里的所有人都拿起了手头的东西，把射击者打死了。警长把这起案件汇报成了正当防卫，安保摄像头的录像带也消失了。
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但那个酒吧鱼龙混杂，于是真相很快就传出去了。有几个人试过重新开庭审理这起案件，并控诉警长和酒吧的几个东家，但这些尝试很快就都被压下去了。
在我看来最有趣的一个细节，就是曾经有过很多人说那个醉鬼睡过对方的老婆，所以是对方先动的手。所以他开枪可能反而是正当防卫。但是由于没有摄像头的录像，并且当时的所有目击证人都被卷入了这场杀人案件，所以真相也就无从查明了。
This is very similar to Ken Rex McElroy. Dude terrorized the town, eventually everyone banded together and shot him to death. Then when questioned the answer was always the same, “No one saw a thing.”
这和Ken Rex McElroy那起案件非常类似。那家伙也是把整座城都吓坏了。最后所有人都团结到了一起，把他打死了。然后被质询的时候，所有人的回答都是一样的：“谁也没看着咋回事儿。”
I always like stories like this.
我总是很喜欢这种故事。
“酒吧里有四十五个人，没有一个人是目击者！”
Oh god, all this violent crime...
我的天哪，怎么这么多暴力犯罪……
我的小城上次上新闻，还是因为有个女的开了家公司“抚养哺乳动物”，结果那家公司一直在亏本。调查之后才发现，是她在为了养自己的孩子而避税。
Our english teacher *raped half the boys track team in high school... AND slept with the vice principal... AND the gym teacher.
我们的英语老师强奸过高中田径运动队的一半男孩……还睡过副校长……还睡过体育老师。
所有人都知道这件事，并且我们都很确定她孩子的生父其实是她教过的一个学生，而不是她老公。
我回家跟我爸说起有个老师因为睡学生而被逮捕的这件事的时候，他的回答是：
“噢他们终于把Marcie抓起来了？我有两个实习生还有她的裸照，我们工作的时候他们还发给我们看。”
我可一点也不怀念我的家乡，哈哈哈。
I don't know if I would say scandal, it was more of a tragedy. This college girl got raped by another student and she laid down or just stood in front on the train tracks that ran right by the university.
我不好说这算不算是丑闻，更像是个悲剧吧。有个女大学生被另一个学生强奸了，她躺在了紧挨着学校的那条铁轨上。
那些运煤的列车都开得很快，所以我希望她没受太多的痛苦。
The guys on the train definitely suffered knowing they couldn't do anything to stop it. Shittiest part of my job.
开火车的人肯定很痛苦，因为他们根本做不了任何事情来阻止惨剧的发生。是我的工作中最糟糕的一部分。
Shittiest part of my job.
“是我的工作中最糟糕的一部分。”
这种状况经常发生吗？
Too often. When I was a kid I remember I was riding in my dad's work truck with him somewhere. The truck had, like, this secondary set of wheels that came down so it could drive on the tracks. We were diving through our town, which has a railyard running right down the middle of it parallel to the main street.
太经常了。我还小的时候，我记得自己会坐爸爸的卡车到处走。他的卡车有一副备用轮，可以在铁轨上开。我们沿着铁轨往前开，铁轨紧挨着这座城的主干道。
有人在铁轨上走。我爸爸看见他们的时候，直接就从车上跳下来了。以最快速度开回了公路上，沿着铁轨开过去找到他们，然后骗他们说他每天把粘在铁轨上的人清理干净一块儿一块儿地送给他们的母亲，已经受够了。我这辈子也没见过我爸爸这么生气过，此前此后都没有。
I live in a small Russian city named Nalchik. In 2005, we were attacked by terrorists. Mobile groups of terrorists of 5-6 people, with a total number of about 200 people, armed with various small arms, including RPG-7 and RPD, enter Nalchik in cars from two directions. There are the first shootings between police officers and militants on the outskirts of the city.14 civilians and 35 police officers and law enforcement agencies were killed. More than 240 people were injured, including 129 law enforcement officers.I was 5 months old then and the stories of my parents are very surprising because now our city is very quiet and almost nothing happens.
我住在一个叫纳尔奇克的俄罗斯小城。在2005年，我们被一群恐怖分子攻击了。总共有差不多200个恐怖分子，分成五六人一组的小队，用各种轻武器武装起来，包括RPG-7和RPD，坐着车从两个方向开进了纳尔奇克。第一轮交火发生在城市外围的警官和武装分子之间。14名平民和35名警官和执法人员丧生，超过240人受伤，其中包括129名执法人员。我当时只有五个月大，父母给我讲的这个故事非常吓人，因为我们的城市现在非常安宁，根本无事发生。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
a bunch of prominent married men were caught fucking each other during a "hunting trip"
一群地位显赫的已婚男性在一场“狩猎旅行”中互相干屁眼儿被抓了现行。
Just dudes being dudes. I mean, if I can’t take a weekend away from the family and enjoy nature and some consensual buttfuckin’, what’s all this even about?
男人毕竟是男人。要是我不能找一个周末逃离家人，享受自然和你情我愿的干屁眼儿，或者还有什么意思？
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Were they hunting trouser snakes?
他们去打什么的，裤裆里的蛇吗？
I'm from a very weird small town, so this for sure isn't the biggest just a really funny one I remember from years ago.
我来自一个非常诡异的小城，这肯定不是最大的丑闻，但肯定足够搞笑，是几年前发生的事了。
我朋友当时读高三，有个也在读高三，处了很久的女朋友。女朋友和家人出门度假的时候，他在女朋友的床上把另一个女孩给上了。他女朋友一开始不知情，直到后来另一个女孩怀了他的孩子，她才知道有这回事。于是他承认自己在她不在家的时候在她家把另一个女孩给勾搭上了。
最后他女朋友原谅了他，并且在三个月之后也怀上了他的孩子。所以我那个18岁的朋友在几个月之内让一个17岁的女孩和一个18岁的女孩分别怀上了孩子。
几个月之后，两个孩子都没生下来的时候，他因为持有大麻被逮捕了。逮捕他的警官就是那个17岁女孩的爹。他最终因此失去了大学的体育特长生奖学金。现在他仍然在那座小城里住着，两个孩子的母亲都把他甩了，而且他的两个孩子还在同一个班上学。
那座城只有几千人，所以当时闹得挺大的。
A serial pooper. Yes, you read it right, a serial pooper. So, a few years ago the news medias started reporting about this strange incident in my hometown - somebody is pooping in the pools in our local swimming hall, and it didn’t happen once, not even twice, but at least three times in the same pool but in three different occasions.
连环拉屎犯。你没读错，连环拉屎犯。几年前新闻媒体开始报道我们这儿的一些奇怪的现象——有人在我们这里的游泳馆的池子里拉屎，并且不止一次，也不止两次，而是至少在同一个池子里拉了三次，而且每一泡的位置还不一样。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
每次事发之后，游泳馆都不得不关门大概六个小时。
嫌疑人最终被抓了起来。欢迎来到北芬兰！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
There was a serial pooper here in America. The person would take a dump on the fifty-yard line of a school's (American) football field. The person was eventually caught: the principal of an opposing high school. He did it on his morning jogs.
美国这儿也有过一个连环拉屎犯。那个人会在一所学校的（美式）足球场的五十码线上拉一泡。最后他被抓起来了：是竞争对手高中的校长。他每天晨跑的时候都会去拉一泡。
A drunk guy was operating cpr in the middle of the harbour place and yelling. It triggered passers-by to call in an ambulance for help, until they realized he was reanimating an inflatable boat!
有个醉鬼在港口正中央一边做心肺复苏一边大喊大叫。附近的路人打了120来帮忙，结果他们发现那个醉鬼是想要让一艘沉船浮起来！
Someone was trying to break into dude’s home. So instead of waiting for him to break in and then shooting him, he opened the door to his home and shot him.
有人想要冲进一哥们儿的住宅。所以那哥们儿没有等着他闯进来再开枪，而是直接把门打开然后开了枪。