欧盟圈讨论：欧洲各国人的家庭观念有何异同？

Maikelnait431
We've always been very casual about holidays, are not and never have been religious (including my grandparents). Family gatherings do occur but are not forced by peer pressure, they just happen from time to time. We have several countryside homes, so nowadays we mostly meet there and not in our city apartments. Our food is usually quite simple and often includes products from our own gardens, including and especially on holidays.

（爱沙尼亚）我们对节日一直都很冷淡，不信教，也从来没有信过教（包括我的祖父母）。确实会有家庭聚会，但并不是迫于旁人的压力，时不时会发生而已。我们在乡下会有几个家，所以现如今我们大多在那里聚会，而不是在城市的公寓里。我们的食物通常都很简单，其中常会包括我们自己的花园种出来的农产品，包括（尤其是）节假日吃的东西。

Spamheregracias
We are a very close-knit and extended family, I don't know how to explain it but my concept of family extends to the children of my parents' first cousins. Every morning at 6:30 a.m. my great uncle wakes us up with a good morning in our 31-member Whatsapp family group.

（西）我们是那种关系非常紧密的几代同堂的家庭，我不晓得该如何解释这个问题，但我们对家庭的概念会延伸到我们父母的堂/表兄妹的孩子。每天早上六点半，我的大伯会在Whatsapp上由33位成员组成的家人群里用一句“早上好”来唤醒我们。

Those of us under 35 are atheists, the older ones claim to be Catholics but only go to church for weddings, baptisms and communxs.
The type of jobs is totally varied, although all my relatives under 25 are unemployed, most of them have not yet found their first job and the women in the family have more precarious jobs than the men.

在我们中间，35岁以下的人是无神论者。年长一些的人会自称天主教徒，但只在婚礼、洗礼和吃圣餐时才会去教堂。
工作类型也是完全不同的，虽然我所有不到25岁的亲戚都处于失业状态，他们中的大部分人还没有找到自己的第一份工作，家族中女性的工作比男性更不稳定。

We don't know what family holidays are all about, none of us can afford to go on holiday for one or two weeks a year because most of us are self-employed. At the most, we go on weekend getaways with our partner, without children.
Every holiday is welcome and a perfect excuse to get the family together, although the most important ones are Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve we can get up to 50 people together including more distant cousins and partners. 2020 has been the first year that we have not been able to get the family together during these days and it has been emotionally awful.

我们并没有家庭假日的概念，一年出去度假一到两周是我们家里任何一个人都负担不起的，因为我们大多数人都是个体经营者。顶多也只是夫妻偷闲出去度个周末，是不会带着孩子一起的。
虽然最重要的节日是圣诞夜和除夕夜，但每一个节假日都很受欢迎，也是家人团聚的一个绝佳的借口。除夕夜时，我们前来团聚的人能达到50人，包括远房的兄弟表妹及其配偶。2020年是我们在这些日子里没能团聚的第一个年头，糟心得很。

We don't usually give presents to each other (except for the little ones in the family) but when we want to do something nice for someone, the best thing to do is to cook something they like.
Most of us live in the city, although close to our small home town which we visit whenever we get the chance.

我们通常都不会互相送礼物（除了家里的小孩），不过当我们想为某个人做点暖心的事情时，最好的方式就是为他们烹制些他们喜欢的菜肴。
我们大部分人在城市里生活，不过离我们的故乡小镇还是蛮近的，只要有机会我们就会回去看看。
（回复）I think this, in general, summarises a lot of Spanish people’s experience. It’s always strange when I try to explain to a foreigner that my mum and dad’s uncles, aunts, cousins…. Are people we tend to have a lot of contact with and that they are part of our concept of family. I think our concept of family is so extended, that sometimes we even consider close friends family too. And I agree, this year has been so difficult emotionally because of the lack of family gatherings which are very important to us. And about food (which people have mentioned in their posts), it’s just an excuse to socialise. Typical Sunday lunches with the family can last hours, and they’re my favourite because you’re just sitting at the table for hours talking, maybe having some coffee after a three course meal…. So I would saying for us is not so much about its nutritional value, but about its social meaning, and of course flavour.
我觉得你这条评论，总的来说概括了很多西班牙人的经历。当我试图向一个外国人解释我妈/爸的叔叔、阿姨和兄弟姐妹往往都是我们交从甚密的人，而且在我们对家庭的观念中他们也是其中的一部分时，那场面总会很奇怪。我觉得我们的家庭观念是延展很广的，有时候甚至连密友都会被我们当成家人看待。我也同意，这一年在情感上是特别难熬的一年，因为少了对我们非常重要的家庭团聚。而关于食物，那只是社交的借口罢了。那种典型的星期天和家人共进的午餐会持续好几个小时，这样的午餐是我的最爱，因为我们会就这么坐在桌边闲谈好几个小时，也许在一顿三道菜组成的餐饭过后会喝点咖啡什么的…所以我的感觉是，对我们来说与其说注重的是一顿饭的营养价值，还不如说是其社交的意涵，当然了，味道也是很重要的。

nadhbhs
We all have strong opinions (though not necessarily the same ones), we're loud, fairly stubborn and extremely loyal. We are the typical family that will argue with each other but if someone else picks on one of us we will all team up. Despite this our arguments are never serious, we never say anything that hits below the belt and we don't hold grudges against each other.

（北爱-贝尔法斯特）我们全都固执己见（虽然所执的见解各不相同），我们很吵，还油盐不进，但极为忠诚。我们是那种很典型的家庭：会互相争执，但如果有外人来招惹我们中间的一个，我们就会团结起来。虽然如此，这种争执从来都不会当真，我们绝不会暗箭伤人，我们也不会对彼此怀恨在心。

We're not close with our extended family on either side, and we also don't feel the need to live in each other's pockets - we are spread out across Ireland, England and NI. We don't call often, but we do text most days in the family group chat and arrange to all come home and see each other every other month (pre-Covid).

我们和双方的大家庭走得并不近，我们也不觉得有相依为命的必要：我们散布在整个爱尔兰、英格兰和北爱尔兰。我们不会经常打电话，但在大部分的日子里，我们确实会在家族群里互发短信，会闲聊，也会安排每两个月一次的回家团聚（这是新冠疫情之前的情况）。

We are all fairly progressive but enjoy old traditions, so holidays tend to be relaxed and predictable. We don't travel often but we enjoy learning about other cultures and languages.

我们都是相当进步的人，但也喜欢古老的传统，所以节日的时候大家往往会很休闲，会干些什么也都是能想到的。我们不会经常出游，但我们很喜欢去了解其他的文化和语言。

We all value knowledge, creativity, and most importantly we value community over the individual. All of us would rather put ourselves at a disadvantage if it helps someone else and we go out of our way to help other people whenever we can. We also value perseverance, and a quote we often use is "a [surname] never gives up, victory or death."

我们都很重视知识和创造力，而最重要的是，我们把群体置于个体之上。如果能帮到别人，那我们宁可让自己吃亏，只要我们做得到，我们就会不辞辛劳地帮助别人。我们也很珍视坚毅这种品质。我们常说的一句话是“XX家的人绝不放弃，不成功则成仁。”

somom_dotcom
We are atheist. My dad is very much a "religion is the opium of the people" type, my mom is more casual but still very atheist and regularly mourns that religion is more prominent in the political landscape than when she was young. If I converted to religion they wouldn't say anything, but probably be dissappointed or think it's just a phase.

（丹）我们是无神论者。我爸是那种非常认同“宗教是人民的鸦片”的人，我妈则更随性些，但也是相当无神论的，也常会因为宗教在政治版图中的影响力比她年轻的时候更大了而哀叹不已。如果我转信了宗教，他们也不会说什么的，但可能会失望吧，或者会觉得我只是嘴上说说而已。

We value good food from all over the world a lot, as well as travel.
Everyone but me works in the humanities and everyone writes either for a living or as a side gig (except me, but I plan on doing it).
We are mostly city dwellers, but my brother and I quite romanticize country life because we grew up here. Both mom and dad hated the small towns they came from.

我们非常重视来自全世界的美食，也很重视旅行。
除我以外的每个人都在人文领域工作，而且每个人都以写作为生，或是作为副业（我除外，但我也计划着要做这件事）。
我们大部分都是城市居民，但我兄弟和我对乡村生活都有着相当浪漫化的想象，因为我们是在那里长大的。我爸妈都很讨厌他们出身的那个小镇。

We are also not close to extended family at all, bare like one person. Growing up we were closer to my dad's friends and their kids, than to extended family. We had gatherings, travels, even one Christmas with them. Definitely I feel Denmark is a "family is what you make of it" culture.

我们和大家族一点也不亲近，简直是孑然一身。在我们长大的过程中，相比于大家族，我们和我爸的朋友及其子女还走得更近些。我们会一起聚会、旅行，甚至还和他们共度过一个圣诞节 。我感觉，丹麦绝对是那种“家人是由自己定义的”文化。

level
Dad’s agnostic, mom doesn’t care about religion but for appearances. We are your somewhere in between middle class family from a tiny town. Our food has to be good and flavorful. I say we’re rather affectionate, cheek kiss here and there, hugs and all that. We keep in touch with family more than with friends. My mom’s sister treats me like I’m hers too. During the summer we have tons of BBQs, sometimes we will go on a trip for fun but nothing too fancy really. Christmas seem to be the biggest holiday of the year for us. I’d say we are not that special tho we have each other, so that’s something.

（波兰）我爸是不可知论者，我妈心里没有宗教，但表面功夫还是会做的。我们是那种比下有余比上不足的中产阶级家庭，来自一个小镇。我们的食物必须是优质而美味的。我感觉我们之间还是相当亲热的，各种亲脸和拥抱，诸如此类。我们和家人的联系要多于和朋友的。我妈的妹妹待我就像她儿子一般。我们会在夏季搞一大堆烧烤，有时候我们会到别的地方去玩，但不太会搞得太过奢侈。对我们来说，圣诞节可能是整个一年里最大的节日了。我觉得我们也没有多了不起，但我们拥有彼此，这一点还是很重要的。

Mr_Guohua_
Both my parents are Catholic but they never go to the church and they never pray, they just believe in God. Me and my two siblings are all atheist.
We often gather with our extended family (aunts, cousins, uncles etc.) a lot more than we do with family's friends, who we very rarely see.
We have a WhatsApp group, where aunts, uncles and cousins are included too.

（米兰）我父母都是天主教徒，但他们从来不去教堂，他们也从不祈祷，他们只是相信上帝的存在。我和我的两个兄弟姐妹都是无神论者。
相比于家人的朋友，我们和大家庭团聚（姨妈、表兄妹、叔叔等等）的情况要多得多，前者是我们很少会见到的。
我们在Whatsapp上有一个群，姨妈、叔叔和表兄妹都在里面。

We keep in touch with relatives who are abroad or in other parts of Italy by WhatsApp or videocalls.
Family activities are usually just visiting other cities.

我们会一直和身居海外或意大利其他地区的亲戚保持联系，方式是Whatsapp或视频电话。
家庭活动通常只会是去其他城市旅行。

The most important event of the year is Christmas, where we eat a lot and exchange gifts, usually money (we don't celebrate Christmas in a religious way).
Birthdays are not so important, we just eat a cake but the day is normal, me and my siblings sometimes celebrate with friends, but nothing fancy.
Food is like an art in my house, and my mum is the main artist, she is just too good at cooking, but we all can cook something. We usually put healt over flavor.

一年中最重要的活动就是圣诞节了，到那时候我们会大举饕餮，还会交换礼物，通常都是钱（我们是不会用宗教那套来庆祝圣诞节的）
生日就没有那么重要了，就吃个蛋糕而已，那一天还是会如常度过。有时候，我和我的兄弟姐妹会和朋友一起庆生，但不会搞得很花俏。
在我家，食物有如艺术，而我妈是最重要的艺术家，她就是太会做饭了，但我们都能做点菜出来。我们通常会把健康看得比味道重要。
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shtux
My friend descibed us like "your family is always fucking angry, including you", and he's not wrong. We are nice people, who love and care for others, we are really friendly towards anyone, we love guests around and generally being helpful and caring, we are clean and elegeant, almost picturesque... but towards each other, when no stranger sees us, hell breaks lose. Shouting, name calling, you name it, I can imagine it's scarry, and it may sound toxic, but that's just how we handle things, and it's also exhausting to be nice to everyone all day. We don't really mean it anyway, and it's like nothing happened 20 minute after a heated argument with 3 people shouting at each other loudly. We just live like this.

（匈牙利）我的朋友是这样描述我们的，“你家里的人总是那么暴躁，包括你在内”，他也没有说错。我们可是很友好的人，也关爱其他人，我们对任何人都很友善，我们喜欢到处登门做客，普遍都乐于助人，也能体恤他者，我们爱干净，也很优雅，简直是从画里走出来的…但在对待自己人时，在没有陌生人看得到我们时，那可就是打开了地狱之门。大呼小叫，骂人，你能想到的我们都干得出来，我都能想象那种场面的恐怖，也许听上去有毒，但这就是我们处理事情的方式，而且，从早到晚对每个人都和和气气会让人筋疲力尽的。反正我们也不是当真的，而且一场有三个人高声对骂的争吵只要结束了，20分钟以后就会像什么都没有发生过一样。而这就是我们的生活方式。