你们学校实施过的最愚蠢的校规是什么？
What''s the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?
译文简介
有些很有趣，有些对低血压很有帮助。
正文翻译
What's the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?
你们学校实施过的最愚蠢的校规是什么？
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If you throw snowballs, you get a one day suspension. The first long weekend after a snowfall everyone would throw snowballs to get an additional day added to the long weekend.
你要是扔雪球，你就要停课一天。在下雪之后的第一个长周末，每个人都会互相扔雪球，好给长周末再加一天。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I love democracy.
我爱民主。
This is the most galaxy brain strategy in history
这可能是历史上最银河级大脑的战术。
The new Principal made a "morning round-up" rule where anyone arriving to class after the last bell had to go to the cafeteria and listen to a lecture about not being late for class. This took about an extra 15 minutes, making the students even more late to class than they would have otherwise been. Needless to say, everyone hated it, even the teachers. That principal didn't last long...
我们的新校长搞了一个“早课圆桌”校规，每个在最后一遍铃响过之后才进班级的人都要去食堂听一次讲座，主题是不要迟到。这种讲座大概要花15分钟，于是学生到头来进教室更晚了。用不着说，每个人都讨厌这条校规，甚至老师也讨厌。这个校长没在位子上待多久……
This is similar to mine, except we had to stand still and Stare at a wall and not move, otherwise we would get yelled at and receive more punishment.
和我们的差不多，但我们得立正，对着墙，不能动，要不然就会被吼，并且被惩罚得更厉害。
Elementary school principal banned talking at lunch. If you were caught talking or even signing to someone, you had to go sit by yourself on a folding chair with no table.
小学校长禁止了在午餐时吃饭。假如你跟谁说话，甚至跟谁打手势，你都得去自己坐一张没有桌子的折叠椅。
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于是有一次我妈妈来和我姐姐和我一起吃午餐。校长的意思是“你应该和你的女儿们出去在走廊里吃”，我妈的意思是“不，我要在这儿坐着，跟我的女儿们与她们的朋友么一边吃饭一边聊天，享受他们的陪伴”（通常来说假如父母来吃午餐的话，学生可以邀请一个朋友一起吃，除非你有兄弟姐妹，那样的话人就太多了，你就不能邀请朋友了）。于是我姐姐的一个朋友对我妈妈悄悄说，她不和我们一起吃了，要不然会因为说话被抓的。这是个九岁的孩子。
My elementary school had those super long tables with little stools attached. Whenever a class got in trouble for being too loud during lunch, the punishment was that we had to sit every other seat. Even at like 7 years old I was like “won’t we just have to talk louder to hear each other if we’re farther away?”
我的小学有那种超级长的餐桌，两边连着小凳子。假如哪个班级吃饭的时候太喧哗，对他们的惩罚就是隔一个凳子坐。就算那时的我刚7岁，我也在想“那我们要是隔得更远了，只要说话的声音再大点不就行了吗？”
Toilet paper rationing. This was in 1997/98, btw. Apparently the high school girls room was going through too much toilet paper so the dean, a woman, stood outside the door and distributed a few squares of 1-ply institutional toilet paper to us as we went in. If she noticed toilet paper on the floor, our ration got cut down. If we asked for more for...bigger jobs...we were told to saved it for home.
厕纸配额。顺便，这是在1997/98年。显然高中的女厕所用厕纸太厉害了，所以校长，一个女性，亲自站在厕所门口，在我们进去的时候给我们发几张单层的厕纸。假如她发现有厕纸掉到地上，我们的配额就会被砍。假如我们为了…大手…要更多的厕纸，她就告诉我们回家拉去。
有几次有女生因为月经量太大，或者胃肠突然不舒服，而被困在洗手间里，直到她的朋友可以给她求更多的厕纸。校长甚至都不会直接给她——校长会走进洗手间里，从门的顶上每次扔几张进去。假如你没抓住，纸落到了地上，好吧，那就是你的错，你不可能再拿到更多厕纸了。假如你用的厕纸比她所认为必要的多了一些，那你运气不太好，身上沾着血/屎回班级吧。
过了大概一星期，不断有极端愤怒的家长来到学校给校方和校董打电话，于是我们终于有无限量的厕纸用了。
我们是怎么庆祝的？
当然是往她的车上糊厕纸。
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...Did they not stop to think about why teenage girls specifically were going through that amount of toilet paper?
他们有没有想过为什么青少年的女生要用这么大量的厕纸？
I was sent to the principle in elementary school for getting a drink of water out of line (as in we walked down the hall in a formation and we had designated water drinking stops). To this day I still remember the principal asking angrily well what if every one started getting water without permission? And I still don’t have an answer.
我小学的时候被送到校长办公室，因为我走出队列去接水（我们排着队沿走廊走，旁边有用来接水的地方）。到今天我仍然记得校长生气的问我好啊要是每个人都不经许可地喝水该怎么办？我今天也想不出来答案。
We’ll all. . . be hydrated?
我们都会……喝得饱饱的？
After 9/11, my school instituted a zero tolerance policy on bullying and violence. What 9/11 had to do with bullying, I don't know. Anyways, Halloween 2001, I dressed up as the guy from Clockwork Orange. He carries a cane around. The principle pulled me aside, told me walking around with a cane could be a weapon, therefore just walking with it is an act of violence, and suspended me for a couple of days, telling me that after 9/11, "we don't mess around with that kind of stuff".
在911之后，我们学校搞了个针对霸凌和暴力零容忍政策。911和霸凌之间有什么关系，我是不知道的。不论如何，在2001年的万圣节，我打扮成了发条橙里的一个人。他拿着一根手杖到处走。校长把我拽到一边，告诉我手杖可能算是武器，因此拿着它到处走算是暴力，于是给我停了好几天的课，还告诉我在911之后“我们不拿那种东西到处惹事儿”。
That if you say/do anything back to your bully it becomes a mutual conflict and isn't bullying, so if they start calling you slurs and making you feel bad every day and you call them stupid once or twice the school probably won't help. Also dress code required school branded hoodies... they were 50 dollars. If you wore a non school hoodie you got in school suspension
假如你对霸凌你的人说或者做任何事情来反击，这就不算是霸凌而算是双方冲突，所以假如他们天天都用脏话骂你，让你觉得很糟糕，而你只有一两次说他们是蠢货的话，学校八成是不会帮你的。还有，着装规定要求只能穿学校品牌的连帽衫……50美元一件。假如你穿了非学校品牌的连帽衫，你就要被停课。
It wasn't really the rule that was dumb but the reason for it. In my last year of high school, the school issued a rule that all students had to wear student IDs. If you didn't, you had to immediately go and pay for another ID. While you can see how many students may have saw this a way to skip class, the reason for this was the school shootings that happened the previous year.
倒不算是校规本身很蠢，而是背后的原因很蠢。我读高中的最后一年，学校规定所有学生都得佩戴学生卡。假如你没带，你就得立刻去花钱办一张新的。你显然能意识到有多少学生可以通过这条校规翘课，但校规背后的原因其实是去年发生的校园枪击案。
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理由是只要佩戴学生卡，就能更简单地识别出谁是学生，谁不是学生，谁有危险的企图了……只不过绝大多数枪击者自己就是学生……所以……
AHAHA... My school did this my junior year! Because a 60 something fucking something year old man drunk off his ass with a knife came onto campus and sat down in a class.
啊哈哈…我的学校在我二年级的时候做了这种事！因为有个六十多岁的老逼登喝懵逼了，拿着刀走进校园坐到了教室里。
显然，学生卡是区分高中生和老醉鬼的唯一方法。他走进了学校，因为大门保安没有好好工作，但同一位保安每天都他妈的在那里教育我要像一个“友善的女性”那样微笑。
这个政策给我带来的唯一影响就是经常赶不上校车。
my school had 3 staircases along a very ling corridor. we were banned from using the middle staircase because it got overcrowded. the ban was lifted once they realised it only made the other two staircases just as crowded
我的学校在一条很长的走廊中间有三个楼梯间。他们不让我们用中间的楼梯间，因为会堵。在他们意识到这条校规让两边的楼梯间也变得一样堵之后，这条校规就被废除了。
Playing cards at lunch was prohibited because it "promoted gambling".
午餐时间玩牌被禁止了，因为“提倡赌博”。
Had the same rule. Most teachers didn’t enforce it unless you were actually gambling.
我们也一样。但老师基本都不会管，除非你真的在赌博。
Banned all backpacks / bags on campus. Students were expected to somehow carry everything they needed in hand.
在校园内禁止所有背包和袋子。他们希望学生们用手拿所有需要的东西。
假如你的书包柜位置不理想的话，尤其有挑战性。
Ours did this too because "in college they won't let you carry your bags everywhere!" Fucking liars. College professors don't give a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
我们也搞这种规定，因为“等你上了大学，他们不让你们背着包到处走！”他妈的骗子。大学老师根本不管——————。
Bruh. You can show up to college in pajamas and they won’t even blx or ask a question but they think they wouldn’t allow backpacks.
是吧。你甚至可以穿着睡衣去上课，他们连多眨一下眼睛都不会，也不会问你，但那帮人却以为他们不让你们背书包。
My first semester of college, two students showed up to a final in those plastic T-rex costumes. No one gave a crap. I've even seen a guy going around on an armchair attached to an electric skateboard.
我大学的头一个学期，有两个学生穿着塑料的霸王龙玩偶服去考试。根本没人管。我甚至看到有个老哥坐在一个电动滑板驱动的轮椅里到处逛。（译注：你们需要平衡车）
We had two students rig up a motorized couch recently. Made big news when the police pulled them over because it wasn’t street legal.
我们有两个学生最近搞了个电动沙发。警察叫他们靠边停车，因为不能上街，于是搞了个大新闻。
大学校长去体育场参加毕业典礼的时候还坐了一趟。
We once had a rule that we could only go to the bathromm during class. Not in the breaks. Only during class.
我们曾经有个校规，规定我们只能在上课的时候去洗手间。课间不能去。只有上课的时候才能去。
My friend is an administrator at a private school in NJ and the faculty has to sign in and out of the bathroom using Google sheets.
我有个朋友是新泽西州某个私立学校的行政人员，他们的教职工要用谷歌表单登记学生进出厕所的情况。
上午九点，10分钟，M-F
Can’t be standing around in groups more than 4 “gang mentality”
不能四个人以上站在一起，“帮派心理”（译注：党支部了解一下）
My gang of 4 found that policy very convenient.
我们帮派正好4个人，你们这个校规很舒适。
Locked the only boys bathroom because someone wrote on the wall in sharpie. It wasn't even anything rude or inappropriate either. It was just the word "hi" or something like that.
把唯一的男洗手间锁上了，因为有人用马克笔在墙上写字。甚至都不是什么粗鲁的或者不适当的东西。只是“嗨！”之类的
门一直都没开，直到有个男孩尿裤子了，他的家长威胁要打官司。
That kid really sacrificed himself for everyone else.
那个孩子真的为了所有人牺牲了自己。
They did that at my school, but because someone was shitting on the floor and smearing it everywhere.
他们在我的学校也搞了这种事情，但那是因为有人在地板上拉了屎并且抹得到处都是。
Lol we had several morning announcements telling people to stop doing that. I honestly don’t understand
哈哈哈我们有好几次早晨校会告诉学生们别干这种事，我真的不是很理解
You have to wear your tie all the way home. Some sad bastard teachers would stand on the main road away from the school and try to hand out detentions in presumably their own time
你一路回家都得系着领带。有些施虐癖的混蛋老师会站在离学校很远的主干路上用他们自己的时间给学生关小黑屋。
I had sad teachers that would stand at the (public, not school owned park) and tell kids not to play on it and to go straight home. Who gets mad at kids for playing at a park???
我也有老师会站在（公立的，不是学校自己的）公园里告诉孩子们别在公园里玩赶紧回家。谁会因为孩子在公园里玩而生气啊？
We weren’t allowed to wear thongs. I don’t know how they caught people who did tbh
我们不允许穿丁字裤。说实话我不知道他们是怎么抓住那些穿了的人的。
For a while it was a fad to leave them purposefully visible under low rise jeans
有一阵子故意穿低腰牛仔裤把丁字裤露出来挺时尚的
Not really a rule, but the toilet paper Holders are OUTSIDE of the Stalls on a wall. So you have to calculate before taking a shit how much you need and hope that it was enough
并不算是校规，但厕纸架在隔间外头的墙上。所以你拉屎之前得先计算自己要用多少纸，并且希望够用。
Awful! And impossible.
好恶心！并且也不太可能啊。
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No, it's easy. The answer is the entire roll.
不，很简单。答案是一整卷儿。
Dumbest Rule: Zero tolerance for fighting. This meant both the kid who started the fight AND the kid who got beat on were both suspended. If the kid who got beat on just took it, he was just sent home for the rest of the day. If he dared to fight back, he was suspended for a week just like the kid who started the fight. Here's the truly stupid part: The school administrators couldn't explain how this led to MORE BRUTAL fights.
最愚蠢的校规：打架零容忍。这意味着挑起争端的孩子以及挨打的孩子都要停课。假如那个孩子只是闷声挨打，接下来这一天他就被送回家了。但假如他敢还手，他就会和那个挑事儿的孩子一样被停课一周。最蠢的是：学校管理者解释不了这为什么会导致更加激烈的冲突。
It's stupid. I got bullied a lot and almost got suspended because I was "making trouble" and "getting into fights". Why are you punishing me for getting bullied? Like I legit was minding my own business and people started harassing and beating me and I literally didn't fight back.
这确实蠢。我以前经常被欺负，并且几乎被停课了，因为我在“惹麻烦”，“卷入打架”。为什么你们要因为我被人欺负而惩罚我？我真的是在自己管好自己的事情，然后人们开始骚扰我，打我，我也真的没还手。
他妈的我现在想起来还会生气。还会因为她对我父亲说谎，说我是那个挑事儿的人而生气，然后他就开始打我。她就知道会发生这种展开，你都能看见她看我的时候那种恶心的脸色。为什么？凭什么？我被同学欺负还不够吗？操他妈的。
狗屎学校。
Right. They never want to help you when you’re bullied because “you should learn to stand up for yourself” but when you actually do after nothing else helps you’re the problem. Excuse me, but what exactly did you want me to do to “stand up for myself”? Sit down with the bullies and tell them “please don’t do it to me because it hurts me or my feelings”? Yea, like that’s gonna help
没错。你被欺负的时候他们从来都没想过帮你的忙，因为“你得学会自己靠自己”，但是发现没人帮你的时候你还手却成了你自己的问题。不好意思，“自己靠自己”究竟是什么意思？跟霸凌者坐下来，告诉他们“请不要对我做这种事情，因为会让我或者我的心情受伤”？可不嘛，好像有用似的。
Dildos were banned. The school never thought they would have to print those words. You would think it was a given. Until a senior bought 100 dildos and snuck them around the school every day for 2 weeks straight
学校里不让带假屌。这所学校从来都没想过他们有一天会打印这几个字。你会觉得不可能有人干这种事。直到有个高三的买了100根假屌，每天把它们贴到学校的各个角落，贴了两周。
When I was in Junior school (UK boarding school in the 80's), we were not allowed to say OK as it was considered slang and not befitting the young ladies and gentleman that we should aspire to be.
我在小学的时候（英国80年代的寄宿学校），学校不让我们说OK，因为他们认为这是俚语，不匹配我们应该向往成为的那种年轻的女士和绅士
我们随身带着梳子和手绢。
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除此之外，我们也不能把手放进口袋里，因为“看起来很邋遢”。
What Victorian boarding school did you go to??
你去的是哪所维多利亚寄宿学校？？
No shit, for some reason I immediately picture this school having harpsichord as a mandatory class
不说别的，我立刻就脑补出了这所学校把羽管键琴当成必修课的场景。
My British MIL used to flip out if I said the word “sure” because she considered it to be extremely rude. She has chilled out since somewhat, but still comes down hard on my children if they say “sure”. Is this common in the UK? My children are extremely polite and always say their pleases and thank you’s, but heaven forbid if they use the word “sure”.
我英国的岳母在我说“肯定的”的时候会生气，因为她觉得这个词非常粗鲁。此后她反应没那么大了，但在我的孩子说“肯定的”的时候还是会很严厉的指责。这种事在英国很常见吗？我的孩子们都特别有礼貌，每次都会说请和谢谢，但说“肯定的”却不行。
Not OP but “OK” was also considered sloppy and unbecoming speech in the environment I grew up in. So was saying “sure” when “certainly” or “indeed” should be used, depending on context. We weren’t allowed to say “kids” to mean “children”. Towards the end of my education we had a teacher who forbade the use of the word “scared” in papers or exams, as she considered it unseemly to use this adjective to describe the motivations of characters in Classical (Ancient Greek or Latin) literature; we had to use the words “frightened” “fearful” or “apprehensive”.
我不是楼主，但“ok”在我成长的环境里也被认为是粗俗的，不合适的语言。在应该讲“当然”或“一定”的时候说“肯定的”也不行，取决于语境。我们不能用“孩子”来指“儿童”。在我的教育阶段的末尾，我们有一个老师不允许我们答题的时候写“害怕”，因为她认为在古典（古希腊或拉丁语）文学中用这个词来形容角色的动机是不妥当的；我们得用“惊恐”，“恐惧”或是“疑惧”。
（译注：很难翻译出原文中细微的区分，反正意识到英国人逼事儿多就完事儿了。）
哦对双手插袋也绝对不行，和楼主一样。楼道或者楼梯间里吹口哨会让你被留校，因为这算是最粗鲁、最不妥帖的行为。
Girls shorts or skirts could not be higher from their knee than the length of a dollar bill. Specifically this. The vice principal would measure her. Her last name was Patton.
女孩的短裤或短裙不能比膝盖高一张一美元纸钞长边的长度。非常细致。副校长会亲自测量。她姓巴顿。
我们都叫她巴顿将军。
这个故事最棒的一点在15年后，去年我发现她和一个学生有性关系。真的吗，将军？
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No hot drinks. Rumour said it was because the principal burnt himself while drinking something so he banned it
不让喝热饮。有传闻说是因为校长自己喝什么东西的时候烫着了，于是就禁了。
Lmao if that is true is the stupidest thing I have ever heard
笑死我了这要是真的那就是我听过的最蠢的事了。
"No fighting", enforced by punishing the kids who were getting hit.
“不许打架”，执行的方式是惩罚那些被别人打的孩子。
I've heard about this one. Totally awful. There's no reason an innocent kid should get punished for being picked on.
我听说过这一条。太糟糕了。无辜的孩子被别人挑事儿还要接受惩罚，完全没有原因。
And it's all about protecting the school and its "image" at the expense of the kids. They don't want to acknowledge that kids are being bullied because that would mean they have a problem and therefore need to do something about it, so they just suspend everyone for "fighting". Bonus points in that it keeps kids who are being bullied from reporting it thereby making their stats look good on paper. Imagine the outrage if they had a similar policy for sexual assault?
这都是以孩子们为代价，保护学校和学校的“形象”。他们可不想承认学校里的孩子被人欺负，因为那就意味着这所学校有问题，他们得做出行动，所以他们就以“打架”为由处理所有人。此外更棒的是这还能让被人欺负的孩子不敢报告，从而让纸面上的数据看起来更好看。想象一下假如在性骚扰上也有类似政策的话，公众会愤怒成什么样子？
Yep I literally was walking down the hall in junior high, minding my own business and some guy (who I now suspect had some mental health issues and/or abuse at home) just laid into me with a series of punches for no reason.
没错，我上初中的时候在沿着走廊走路，做着我自己的事，然后有个人（我现在怀疑他可能有心理健康问题或者在家里受到了虐待）直接走到我面前打了我好几拳。
老师在我反应过来之前把我拉走了。想象一下当我发现自己也被停课的时候有多惊讶，我除了挨打之外什么都没做。我都不理解这教给孩子什么道理。幸运的是我爸爸也觉得这种校规就是垃圾，他来学校接我回家，跟我说“就当你今天放一天假，你应得的”。
Super common. This was a thing at my middle school, too. Mind you this was the late 90s and in rural north Florida. It's all about protecting the school from law suits. I'm not entirely sure how that's supposed to work as I'm not a lawyer, but that's the idea.
非常正常。我的中学也发生过这种事。那是在90年代末，佛罗里达北部的乡下。都是为了不让学校被告。我倒不太确定有没有用，因为我不是律师，但意思是这个意思。
Came here to say this. The "zero tolerance" policy is insane. Imagine this was applied to the real world.
就是来说这个的。“零容忍”政策就是有病。想象一下这种校规放到现实世界。
哦，你丈夫打你啦？你俩都进监狱乐呵几年吧。
什么？大规模枪击案崩了12个人？我们得扩建监狱咯！
在小巷子里被人捅了？爱信不信，进监狱吧~
I got detention for pooping more then 10 minutes but I have serve stomach cramps and I asked why and they had no answer.
我由于拉屎超过10分钟被留校了，但我的胃肠有严重的问题，我问他们为什么，他们回答不上来。
No farting in class.
上课不许放屁。
他们说“假如你要放屁，去厕所放”，但你要是想去厕所，十次里有九次他们都不会让。
Conservative Christian College. A group of us played Age of Empires one weekend. They didn’t like it and called a meeting. Everyone involved got misdemeanors on their records. There was nothing in the handbook about it being against the rules. The only person that didn’t get any punishment was the son of the president even though he was just as involved as the rest of us. Was quite interesting explaining the write up on my record when I transferred. “You got a misdemeanor for what?!”
保守派的基督教大学。我们几个人周末玩帝国时代。他们不太喜欢，叫我们去喝茶。每个人的档案上都被记过了。学校手册里根本没有相关的规定。唯一没有受到任何处罚的是校长的儿子，即便他和我们一样参与了。转校的时候跟别人解释档案里的这件事还挺有意思的。“你被记过的原因是啥？！”
Next time play DOOM. If they say shit then just argue that DOOM is the most Christian game to exist
下次玩毁灭战士吧。他们要是逼逼，你就说毁灭战士是世界上最基督教的游戏。
Yup. DOOM and Diablo are massively Christian - fucking up the spawns of Hell and Satan himself are something God would approve of
没错。毁灭战士和暗黑破坏神太基督教了——把一群地狱的怪物和撒旦本身干出屎来绝对是上帝会允许的事情。
Closing boys toilets, because some cunt was stealing toilet paper. When school staff announced this stupid rule, some students actually threatned to shit on the tables then.
关停男生厕所，因为有人偷厕纸。校方宣布这条规定的时候，有学生威胁他们说要在课桌上拉屎。
My school made it compulsory to wear uniform in online classes
我的学校强制我们上网课的时候穿校服。
All mine said was wear clothes
我们说穿衣服就行
I wasn’t allowed to test my blood sugar in class (type 1 diabetic). Some teachers didn’t care but most made a fuss about it. “Go to the nurses office if you need to do that, it’s a distraction to everybody and other students might get freaked out by the needles” even though it was just a little prick that nobody could ever even see, and none of my classmates ever complained.
他们不让我在班级里测血糖（一型糖尿病）。有的老师不在乎，但绝大多数都跟我搞事。“假如你需要的话去医务室，这样会让别人分心，并且其他学生可能会被针头吓到”，但针头别人都看不见，并且根本没有同学跟我抱怨。
跟我家长说了这个规矩，我爸爸很生气，告诉我啥都别管就是干，我根本没有需要担心的，后果顶多和在家惹事一样。所以这对我来说，意思就是我可以在学校爱他妈怎么扎怎么扎了。我每堂课都测一遍，比我需要的次数还多，就是为了气他们。最后我被送到了办公室，校长给我爸打了电话，我几乎从来没见过他像那天一样生气过。他在骂人，在大喊，在从墙上撕纸。
我从此之后再也没因为这件事被别人烦过。
My primary school had this wierd obsession with safety. When we played dodgeball the boys had to throw with their non-dominant hand while the girls got to throw full force. And we could get detention for going where the teachers couldn't see us. But the worst rule by far was that we weren't allowed to run on the playground, I'll never forget the time my teacher literally said, "the playground is no place to run."
我的小学对安全有一种诡异的执念。我们玩躲避球的时候，男生只能用非惯用手扔球，而女生可以全力扔。要是去老师看不见的地方，我们会被留堂。一直很喜欢老师的一句话，“操场不是给你们跑的地方”。
"Don't damage school property" sounds reasonable enough until you get detention for staining a chair after suddenly getting your period.
“不许损坏学校财产”，听起来很合理，除非你因为突然来月经把椅子弄脏而被留堂。
Omg that’s similar to my story, same grade too. I had super heavy periods and would bleed through pads and tampons quickly- I kept asking to go to the bathroom and she kept ignoring me. Except that once she realized what happened, my god awful teacher decided to use me as a teaching lesson for the entire classroom. I had had my period since I was 9 but none of my friends knew because I was embarrassed. I’m 39 and can still feel the embarrassment of all the boys laughing at me.
天哪，那和我的故事一样，也是同一个年级。我当时月经的量特别大，很快会流出护垫和棉条——我一直请假去厕所，她一直忽视我。除了有一次她意识到发生了什么，我那个可憎的老师决定拿我给整个教室上一课。我从9岁开始来月经，但没有朋友知道这件事，因为我当时很尴尬。我今年39岁了，仍然能感到教室里的所有男孩嘲笑我的时候那种尴尬。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I spent 2 years in a private christian school where girls could not wear skirts or dresses unless it covered their whole legs all the way down to their feet. We were between 3 and 8 years old and that rule was meant to make sure boys wouldn't have any sexual temptation. This is not a joke.
我在一个私立的基督教学校读过两年的书，那里的女生只能穿盖住整条腿直到脚面的裙子。我们都是3-8岁的孩子，而那条校规的用意是不对男孩造成任何性诱惑。这不是玩笑。
My school banned water bottles.
我的学校把水瓶给禁了。
我们学校突然开始了一种喝水的潮流，基本都是女孩子之间，于是没过多久，每个人都会手里拿着一瓶大品牌的塑料纯净水瓶到处走。他们想要让自己看起来注意健康，并且很酷。
但没过多久，这就变成了炫耀谁最健康，最注意喝水的比赛。所以750毫升的瓶子就不够用了。于是女生们开始往学校带越来越大的水瓶和水杯，把别人比下去。最后她们开始带五升的大塑料罐子在学校里到处走。看起来蠢得要命。
到最后男生也加入了，他们开始往学校带更大的容器。有个男生推了一辆行李手推车到学校，里面装着一个20升的工业用储水罐。
到此为止，校长被恶心够了。我们是个高端，注重形象的学校，校服也很上档次，他不太喜欢看着学生们拖着巨型水瓶子到处走，跟流浪汉似的。于是他把所有的水瓶都禁了，让学生们去洗手间的水龙头和其他饮水处喝水。
这很蠢，因为经常喝水本来是有利健康的。他本来可以把所有超过750毫升的水瓶给禁掉，可以让我们在课间到处走的时候把水瓶放到背包里不到处显摆。
the guy with the 20 L bottle sounds like a fun dude
那个推着20升水罐的哥们听起来是个有趣的人。
'I'm more hydrated than you, loser.'
“我补水比你更厉害，loser。”
有点怪，不过还行。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
"No body armor of any kind"-The fuck was we gonna get body armor? Most of us barley could afford to go to school. The fact that this was a rule also makes me wonder what the fuck happened to make them institute this.
“不允许身着任何护甲”——我们他妈上哪儿整护甲啊？我们上学都快上不起了。这条竟然被写成校规，我也想不出来究竟他妈发生了什么，让他们把这个写成校规。
Maybe a kid showed up in full medi style plate armor and it was really loud.
或许有个孩子穿着一整套中世纪板甲，叮里咣啷的很响。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
No coloured bras. I went to an all-girls school and we wore uniforms and the top was a light colour and very see-through for some reason (so it was easy to tell if you had a pink bra on for example). The weird thing was it was always the male teachers who called students out for breaking this rule.... yikes
不许穿彩色的胸罩。我上的是女校，穿统一的校服，上装是浅色并且由于某种原因很透的衣服（因此很容易看出你穿的是粉色的胸罩）。最怪的是那些因为学生违反这条校规把学生叫出来的老师都是男老师……噫。
I went to a high school for smart kids. My senior year, they instituted a rule to crack down on kids cutting class:
我上的是一所给聪明的孩子开的高中。高三那年，他们为了杜绝学生翘课颁布了这样的规则：
假如你迟到45分钟及以上（90分钟大课），就算你缺席，否则算迟到。
迟到3次，算一次无理由旷课。
无理由旷课20次，这门课你就挂了。
于是我和我朋友算了一下，如果我们把上半截英语课翘了，只要在45分钟内赶到，然后在这个学年之内无理由旷课19次的话，可以翘到哪一天。当然我们上的是一所给学霸开的学校，所以我们并没有去吸毒或者抽烟，而是打网球。老师会问我们为什么总是浑身大汗地迟到，我们笑笑就过去了。
So you and a friend showed up to class together, late, and very sweaty. And when your teacher asked you just laughed? I'd bet $50 your teacher though you were fucking before class.
所以你和你的一个朋友同时出现在课堂门口，迟到了，并且浑身是汗。你老师问你们去干什么了，你们只是笑笑？我赌50块，你老师会觉得你俩课前在打炮。
I'd bet $50 your teacher though you were fucking before class.
引用：“我赌50块，你老师会觉得你俩课前在打炮。”
我记得有一次我确定她脑子里想的就是这个，但这只是让整件事变得更加好笑。
Teacher: "What were you doing all this time?!" Student 1: "stuff" Student 2: "I'm stuff"
老师：“你们去干什么了？！ ”
学生甲：“去搞事情”
学生乙：“我是事情”
School: makes overly complicated absentee rules
学校：制定过度复杂的翘课规则
学霸：你低估了我的实力
Went to a catholic private middle school. Mandatory uniform (tucked in white shirt, blue pants and black shoes) Guys had to keep their hair short "like men are supposed to" and any facial hair was not allowed. No hoodies, only the school's sweater (which you had to buy every year). Girls not allowed to wear pants, only skirts, no matter how cold it got. Zero tolerance for dyed hair or nails. No electronic devices AT ALL (They would take your earphones if seen, even on our breaks).
上的是一所天主教私立中学。强制穿制服（掖进腰带的白衬衫，蓝色长裤，黑鞋）。男生留短发“像男人的样子”，并且不许留胡子。不许穿连帽衫，只许穿学校的毛衣（你得每年买一件）。女生不能穿裤子，只能穿裙子，不管多冷。对染发和美甲零容忍。不许任何电子设备（他们一发现会把你的耳机没收，甚至是在课间）。
我发誓假如我有任何宗教信仰的话，那所学校绝对让我以后不想与任何宗教机构产生任何关系。
No sniffing the markers. Then why do they smell great!?
不许闻马克笔。那干嘛把马克笔做得那么好闻啊？！
Get a hour detention if you didn’t have a rubber, happened to me
没带橡皮的话留堂一小时。我干过。
In elementary, they banned running ENIRELY. No running on the playground either. They also banned all ball sports, and would take your ball if you took it in from home, and they would put it in the gym cupboard to be used during PE class (Physical Education) Keep in mind that these were 4-11 year olds,
小学的时候，他们彻底禁止跑动。操场上也不能跑。他们也禁止了所有的球类运动，会把你从家里带来的球没收，而且会把没收的球放到体育馆里，在体育课上用。记住，那都是4-11岁的孩子。
于是根本没人在乎这项校规，有好多人都被“留堂”（我忘了我们管这个叫什么了），于是他们不得不放弃了规定，也没发生什么后果。但是球类运动的那条校规呢？结果有个比我低一年的学弟带了个特别出名的球形签过名的足球，
学校把足球没收了。我们知道了这件事是因为有个气炸了的母亲在秘书处大吼，说他们偷了价值至少1000美元的私人财产。他们把球还回去了，并且此后再也没这么做过。谁会想到从小孩子那里偷东西是个坏主意呢？