一个学生对你说了什么让你不寒而栗？What did a student tell you that made you shudder?
2023-05-23 龟兔赛跑 3275 0 1 收藏 纠错&举报
What did a student tell you that made you shudder?
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That she was pregnant. Thankfully, it wasn’t the student herself telling this to me but a teacher who helped me out with my EFL class in the 7th grade.
A little bit of backstory:
I taught English to grades 1–7 in a public school in a small town called Montañita in Ecuador. The program I was teaching for was a government run program. The program assigned a teacher from the school who would be present with me throughout the class, mostly to talk to the students in Spanish in case there is any need, and to help me with administrative stuff. So I was working with a different teacher in every grade.
Ana, the teacher who helped me out in the 7th grade, was really involved in the school. She organised the events and was the unofficial counsellor for the students. She herself was from the same town and knew almost every student’s family and background. In the two months I had been there, she had been helping me with my Spanish as well. And she was my go-to person if I had any questions about the local culture and the students.
It had been barely two months that I had been living there but I had seen many teen moms with their babies. But I had never given any thoughts of that happening to one of my students. For some reason, I always thought it wouldn’t happen when they are in school.
And then all of a sudden she stopped coming. After a week, I asked a couple of her friends and they had no idea. In this school, this wasn’t something very new. Most of my students came from poor and broken families. They dropped out like that and came back after a while.
So I forgot about it.
3 weeks after she dropped out, a teacher invited me and some other teachers to his house for lunch. The lunch was a big affair with a lot of sea food. After lunch, Ana, the teacher and I had been talking in the balcony. As fate would have it, this student and her family lived right across the street. I saw her sitting on a chair, playing with a dog.
“She is pregnant. That’s why.”, Ana said with a little bass in her voice.
I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing really came out. I tried to think of a response, and yet, the search for words was just futile. As if all the words of Spanish I had learnt by then, had frozen by some atmospheric twist.
A coconut tree stood in my line of sight, so if I moved my head a little backwards I could see her but she couldn’t see me. She continued playing with her dog.
How did this happen? Who was it? What would happen? None of this mattered much, since I knew abortion was not really an option in Ecuador. She would be a teen mom and live with the consequences of it. Her life would never be the same.
I taught a basically remedial math class to 11th graders. I had a student that really caught my interest. They got a 70 on everything. Never below, only above on a test or paper that didn’t even out to a 70. As soon as they had a 70 they stopped and left the rest blank. Think how really smart they had to be to know when to stop exactly 70% correct. They always wrote in red ink. They never said anything.
My students knew I had practiced law for 30 years and asked a lot of questions about law. In a remedial class, if 15 minutes of law would get 75 of math from them, I won. One day someone asked about the insanity defense. I was explaining it when the student said “ you don’t have to use it even if you are really nuts”. Wow, a voluntary statement from the child. Then they said “ my xxxxx didn’t use it when they shot me, just took a deal for 7 year.” I was stunned and wrongfully said, “ How old were you? “. followed by “then they are out of jail now. How do you feel about that!”.
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I was very shaken. Do I report this. I went and pulled their “ permanent file” which only had 2 years of info. I realized I had outed a kid being hidden. I noted that the kid always got the exact score needed to pass state exams. There were 4 state exams the next week.
I realized that this child was flying under the radar. If they failed they got attention. If they did very well they got attention but this kid just got 70s and passed so who cared. This kid did not want attention.
The next day in class the kid told me that when scores on the state exams came in they wanted to hear them from me, not the counselor.
Now, if you have read this far DO NOT CHANGE MY PRONOUNS. I AM PROTECTING THIS KID’s IDENTITY. You don’t need to know if it is a she or he. This is not “ gender neutral ” BS It’s privacy. Don’t tell me you don’t like the use of they… don’t read it if you don’t like it. I find myself making very rude responses to these people. Thank you.
I never saw the kid again. I assume they went to a new home. I’ve looked on FB. googled the name… nothing in 10 years.
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If you’re looking for an abuse, theft, murder, under-achiever revelation, this isn’t one of those.
I teach business communications to adults in Bangkok. I have been doing it for 40 years, and it’s my passion.
Four years ago, I developed and taught a confidence-building presentations course. The course outline was clear about it being for people who find presentations frightening.
It included the concepts and practices that I wished someone had taught me about presenting plus additional Thai considerations.
Pipat’s late entrance into the classroom was my first hint of ‘uh-oh’ because it was a definite ‘Look at ME!! ‘, unusual for first day and for the course.
The first assignment was to interview a classmate and then give a short, casual (seated) presentation to the class.
Pipat’s intro included his considerable public speaking experience, and I knew this was NOT the class for him. We were also told that Pipat was sure he could TEACH this class, and when I looked at him with a smile, I saw a look of challenge.
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Don’t misunderstand. I am very good at using higher-skilled participants to help others. They can be excellent aides. But I sensed that Pipat was not the helpful type and would make the others feel inferior.
At break, I suggested that, because of all of his experience, he should take a different presentation course (next classroom). He refused…I discovered later that he had met my colleague and knew that he (Pipat) wouldn’t be allowed to rule.
He didn’t rule in mine either, though he tried. He was never allowed to negatively compare others’ presentations to his own. He was praised when he offered constructive comments but was not allowed to highjack the class with concepts not in line with course obxtives.
Pipat was a confident speaker but not always a good one. Content was often repetitive and unorganized, and though he looked at the audience, he didn’t see them nor have a rapport.
He tolerated my comments.
Right after the final presentation exams, he announced he must leave early because he was required to attend an orientation for his new position as a university lecturer. We congratulated him and waved good-bye.
I shuddered inwardly again.
I was in the hallway, filling up my water bottle at a water fountain between classes. Most of the class I was just teaching had already left the room, but there was one boy still in the classroom. He tended to linger behind the rest of the class, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Suddenly, I heard some desks being pushed around in my room. It was him, pushing them out of the way while he ran for the door. He ran straight for the bathroom and, as he passed me, he mumbled:
“I just puked.”
He didn’t have to tell me. I could smell it as soon as he walked by. It was on him.
I shuddered to think about what awaited me when I got back into the classroom.
It had to be a record for the most total area coverage a student has ever projectile vomited in a classroom.
I had a situation on my hands. I had a class waiting for me to teach them, but my room was unusable. I also had a sick student in the bathroom I had to deal with. And I was trying not to vomit myself from the smell.
Fortunately, my coworkers stepped up. One took my class in their room, giving up their planning period. Another called the janitor. A third dealt with the sick boy in the bathroom. It was my job to put down the scented sawdust, to make the cleanup quicker once the janitor got there.
It was all cleaned up within about half an hour. The smell lingered for two days. Some students had to throw away notebooks and even one textbook that was open on a desk in the “splash zone.”
I was having problems once when I was a high school teacher with a white male student who lived on a ranch outside of town. After one of many discussions with him, he told me that I should watch myself since he knew the elementary school my son attended and he knew that my son walked home from school. I had several years of experience by then, so I knew to try and handle things myself. I called in his parents for a conference that included the student, his mother, and his father. I explained to them their son’s implied threat, and I reminded them that I could actually file a police report on their son. The father (who looked a little hostile) looked at me and then pointed to his son and said, “If you want to report this little son of a bitch, go ahead and do it!” My student hung his head, and when he raised his head, I looked into his pained eyes. I thanked the parents for coming in. That student never gave me any trouble after that. I had seen that his father was emotionally abusive with him, I saw his pain, and my whole feelings towards him changed. He saw that I had seen what it was like for him. I had several instances where I wished that I could have rescued my students. Every child deserves to be loved and respected.
One evening, many years ago, some medical students showed up to be “on call” in my psychiatric emergency room. I believe I was moonlighting as the attending, although I may have been on regular call as the fourth-year resident (we could moonlight if we were licensed, which I was). I was also fairly pregnant.
One of the students, a young man, perhaps my age or within a year or two either way, decided he was not going to do any of the tasks that he was supposed to do as a student. He spent the whole evening on the phone instead. He told me he was getting married soon and had a lot to do.
No cell phones in common use back then - so he sat in the doctors’ room using my desk phone.
At the end of their “shift,” after this guy had done nothing, he told me again that he was getting married and could not be bothered to waste his time with psychiatry.
I asked him if his bride to be was also a medical student.
He looked at my big pregnant belly and said arrogantly, “Oh no, I would NEVER marry a doctor. Ugh.”
That was the thing that made me shudder.
I had to fill out his uation. And I got to fail him. With good reason, of course. He did not meet a single clinical obxtive for the shift. “Talking on the phone with girlfriend” is not even on that list. In all my years of teaching medical students that is the only one I ever failed. I’m only sorry it was just for one measly night in the ER and not for the entire rotation.
I teach in a low income, high needs community. I have a second grade class. Every morning we do a “fun question” card . The question was simple, “who do you live with?” (I come from wealthy parents, even did my student teaching in a high income community so I was never exposed to children who struggled economically) .. all of a sudden this student puts his head down and bangs it on the rug. His partner comes to me and says, “he’s sad because he said he lives with his grandma because his mom and dad didn’t want him”. Broke me. I didn’t even know how to respond, just let the student have a release of emotions and reminded him that I need him in my class or I would be so sad. Lame but it was all I could think of in the moment to make him know he’s wanted and needed.. at least by me..