还记得曾经的恋爱故事吗？

Anonymous
I am a 54 year old single father to two amazing, out of the world, wonderful daughters.
My wife died during the birth of my second daughter. That was 25 years ago. As much as I was broken from inside I had to be strong enough to raise my little angels and give them a good life. Their lives were totally dependent on me. I didn't even get time to grieve over my loving wife's untimely death.

我今年54岁，妻子已经过世，我的两个女儿非常优秀。
25年前，我的妻子因为我第二个女儿难产去世了，尽管我已心碎，但我必须足够坚强，才能养大我的小天使，并给她们美好的生活。他们成长是非常依赖我的。我甚至都没有时间为我亲爱的妻子的早逝感到悲伤。

While not a single day passes by when I don't remember her, my daughters have helped me tremendously to hold on.
Kids, they are such a blessing! I see a little bit of her in both of them. Infact my younger one, who is a little rebel, is a carbon copy of her mother.

我每天都会很想念我的妻子，还好我的女儿给我提供了很多安慰，让我坚强的面对生活。
我有小孩子真是太幸运了！我在两个小孩身上都能看到他们母亲的影子。实际上，我的小女儿，她叛逆的样子和她的母亲一模一样。

But things were very difficult in the start. My elder one was 5 year old and she would always miss her. She was always a mumma's daughter. There was also a lot of pressure on me to get married again. My mother particularly was very adamant as I had my whole life to look forward to.
But I never gave in and stood firmly on my ground. Because one, I knew marrying again would divide my love and second, although I would always miss her, I never felt like she had ever left us. I always felt her presence around. She was my first love.
Seeing my stand my parents stepped in and joined me in the Herculean task of raising 2 young girls. Right from waking them up for school, their breakfast, their tiffin, and everything else my mother was my biggest support.

但是，一开始情况非常困难。我大一点的小孩5岁，她经常想念她的妈妈。她之前非常粘妈妈。我再婚的压力也很大。我的母亲非常希望我再婚，因为他认为我一辈子还有很长的路要走，希望有个人陪我。
但是我没有改变我的观点，坚持自己的观点。首先，我知道我再婚会分割我的爱，第二，我会一直想念她，我觉得她好像没有离开过我。我总是能感觉到她的存在。她是我的初恋。
了解了我的态度之后，我的父母和我一起完成了养大2个小女孩的艰巨任务。叫他们起床上学，准备早餐，午餐和其他所有的事情，我母亲一直是我最坚强的后盾。

Time just flew and in no time my elder one was in her teens. A fews years later my younger one joined her.
In a tremendous reversal of roles I found my daughters taking care of me as if I was a little child. And I was enjoying every moment of that. I would sometimes cry out of happiness.
The elder one would never be a minute late while coming home. She knew that would worry me.

时光飞逝，没过多久，大一点的小孩就十多岁了。几年后，我小一点的孩子也长大了。
慢慢的，我们的角色发生了巨大的转变，我发现女儿们像照顾小孩一样照顾着我。我很享受那一刻。我有时会出于幸福而哭泣。
大一点的小孩总是及时回家，从不耽误。否则她知道那会让我担心。

Academically also they both were pretty strong, one went into medicine while the younger one took finance. They have really made me very proud.
A few more years passed and both of them got married. Both are very happy now and settled in their respective lives.
Apart from losing their mother at a very young age the only regret that they have in their lives is that I didn't marry again and denied myself on having a life partner.
On the other hand I am very glad I didn't.

学习上，他们俩都很厉害，大一点的学习了医药，小一点的学习了财务。我为他们感到非常自豪。
又过了几年，他们俩都结婚了。他们都过上了非常稳定又幸福的生活。
除了在很小的时候失去母亲之外，他们一生中唯一的遗憾就是我没有再婚，并且拒绝了为自己再寻找一个人生伴侣。
另一方面，我很高兴自己没有再婚。

My life is complete now and there is nothing left for me to achieve. I look very well after myself as I have my old parents to look after. They have done so much for me and my daughters I don't think that I can ever repay them, not even a fraction.
And now that I get a lot of time for myself I sometimes cry and grieve over my wife which I couldn't do with my daughters around. She left me too early. She left a hole in my heart and I still miss her. The only thing that keeps me going is that I know that one day we will meet again and I will fall into her outstretched arms and cry my heart out, never to be seperated again.

我的生活现在已经非常圆满了，我没有什么其他的愿望。我要照顾好自己，因为我需要照顾我的爸妈。他们为我和我的女儿们付出了很多，我认为我永远都没有办法报答他们，甚至连零头都还不上。
现在我有很多时间独处，有时会为妻子哭泣和悲伤，如果我女儿在旁边我不能这么做。她太早离开我了。她的离开让我感觉我的心缺了一块，我还是非常想她。唯一让我继续好好生活的动力是，知道有一天我们会再次见面，会和她紧紧相拥，那样我们就再也不会分开了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Anonymous
The success : Met her in 2008. We immediately hit it off and had a very nice start to our relationship. She loved me like no one else. It was the kind of stuff you only read in books.I was in love with her and was in a happy relationship for 6 years.
Everything was going well. We had to move to different states due to commitments.
The last one year was very difficult. She kept getting distant and I kept making attempts at my end. I realized that things had changed, but I didn't know that they were very bad. I would have tried to communicate a lot more. It's not that i didn't do my best. I would've somehow done a bit better, now that I look at the past.

成功的开端：我在2008年和他第一次见面。我们非常合得来，并为我们的关系有一个良好的开端。她是最爱我的人，那可能和书上的情节一样。我也爱上了他，并且在一段幸福的恋爱关系中度过了了6年。
一切进展得都非常顺利。由于各种各样的原因，我们不得不搬到不同的州生活。
过去的一年我们非常艰难。她一直都在疏远我，我一直在努力挽救。我意识到情况不对劲，但我不知道事情已经这么糟糕了。我本来想尽量多沟通。可能是我还没有竭尽全力。现在让我回首过去，我肯定会采取更好的方式，我会处理得更好的。

The failure: She broke up with me in April,14 saying that she was unsure about what she wanted in life.
I was broken. But I kept calm. I thought she would come back, I waited, and last week, when I got in touch with her again she told me that she is in a relationship from May,14 with a guy she met in Dec,13. This is what prompted her to dump me. I am shattered.
6+ months of new infatuation, exciting conversations, sparkling chemistry triumphs over 6+ years of love, ups and downs, hardships, long hour chats, innumerable smiles and tears. Probably the lights of the relationship had faded at her end.
Is this a failure? Yes. a big one. I, no longer believe in God or in any way believe that there is a special someone for everyone. I am devastated.

失败的结局：她在4月份与我分手了，说她不确定自己到底想要什么样的生活。
我崩溃了。但是我尽力保持冷静。我一直在等她回心转意。上周，当我再次与她联系时，她告诉我说她从5月14日开始与她在去年12月13日遇到的一个人恋爱。这也是她抛弃我的原因。我完全崩溃了。
六年多的爱情，一路跌宕起伏，酸甜苦辣都抵不过六个月的暧昧期，激动人心的聊天，火花般的化学反应。也许到最后，我们恋爱的光芒慢慢消逝了。
这是一个失败的爱情故事吗？是的，可以说彻头彻尾的失败。我不再相信上帝，也不再相信每个人都有一个特别的另一半相伴一生。我绝望了。

My routine(for one week since the failure): I live away from my family or childhood friends. I talk to a few friends on phone. I have been advised to 'move on' , to 'divert myself'. I try.
I am a little sensitive and I find it difficult to sleep. Once I sleep, I am constantly disturbed by weird dreams and nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot sleep again. Every time I get up, I don't believe that what has happened has happened for real. I cry, shiver and find myself choked each morning before I get ready to go to office. I go to office and by the end of the day, I somehow start accepting what has happened. But then, in the night, I am tortured by the past and i try to sleep.

我失恋一周之后，我的一天是这样的：我躲开了我的家人和小时候的朋友。我在电话上和几个朋友聊天。有人建议我继续前进、转移注意力。我尽力尝试。
我变得很敏感，我很难入睡。一旦我入睡，我就会不断因为怪异的梦和噩梦惊醒。我在半夜醒来后没办法再次入睡。每次起床时，我都不相信这一切是真的。我每天早上去办公室之前，哭泣，颤抖，哭到哽咽。然后再去上班，一天快结束的时候，我莫名其妙地开始接受发生的事情。但是，到了晚上，我又被过去折磨，我努力尝试走出去。

And just when I think that the next morning will be different, I go into the same state of denial followed by the same cycle each day. I sometimes shiver and choke at the thought of what has happened. I eat a little food many times a day as I start to puke if i eat a lot. I didn't know I was so weak. I fail to see how it was so easy for her to move on and get into a new relationship. I can accept that she has stopped loving me. But for me to see that she didn't work on our relationship and dumped me and waited only two months before she got into a new relationship is what hurts the most. I still love her. I am aware that eventually the day will come when I will move on. But I fear not falling out of love with her in the future.

而且，当我认为第二天早上该会有一点点改变时候，我进入了相同状态，然后每天重复同样的事情。一想到这些事情已经发生了，我就开始发抖，哽咽。我开始少食多餐，因为我一次性吃很多东西就会呕吐。我没想到我居然这么弱，我不明白她是怎么走出去并且建立一段新的关系的，我可以接受她已经停止爱我了。但是让我看到她没有一点留恋，甩了我，刚分手两个月就建立新的恋爱关系，这才是最让我伤心的点。我仍然还爱她。我知道总有一天我会继续前进的。但是我担心我还爱着她。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Solution? : Quoraing helps. Also, I bought myself new speakers today and have started learning the guitar from a couple of days. I am trying to put my attention to better things than to ponder on the past or worry about the present. There is no moral from this story. I don't know if reading it will help anyone. But writing this down has definitely helped me a little. I FEEL a little light. And this is all that I need to survive this day.

走出失恋的办法：我给自己购买了新的音箱，几天后开始学习吉他。我试图转移注意力，关注在更好的事情上，而不是去思考过去或担心现在。这个故事没有寓意。我不知道能不能帮到别人。但是写下来对我肯定是有帮助的。我感到一身轻松了。这就是我想要的感觉。

Edit: It's been almost 20 days since I wrote this and I realize how broken I was when I wrote this. But now, I am a bit stable. I don't have those moments in the morning. Now, I try to be occupied all day and sometimes, go in trance thinking about the past. But then, I listen to some music, play 2048 and also concentrate on work. It makes me happy. I've realized that I need to be in the company of good people and also have some time alone for myself.
I no longer trust people in the same way as before, and in the long run , I believe that this will do more good to me. I read in a lot of questions that to "fully" move-on, I need to 'forget and forgive'. I don't think it is possible right now. It's just too difficult. I try and not over-analyze or self-pity, and it is helping. Also, thanks for the motivating comments.

备注：距离我写这篇文章已经快20天了，当我写这本书时，我意识到自己写文章的时候是多么崩溃，但是现在，我情绪稳定下来了。我早上和之前的状态不一样了。现在，我一整天都在忙工作，有时，会发呆然后怀念过去。但是后来，我听音乐，专心工作。让我慢慢变得开心起来。我意识到，我需要和人在一起，也需要一些独处的时间。
我不再像以前那样信任别人，从长远来看，我相信这对我会有更多好处。我看到很多回复，说要完全继续前进，需要忘记并原谅。我认为现在我还做不到。太难了。我尽量不沉溺于过去或者自怜，这很有帮助。另外，感谢你的鼓励。

Daniel Thomander, Teacher (2009-present)
Not a great one, I'm sure compared to others. Yet this story is true and was fundamental in formation as an adult.
I was a pretty wild teenager - lived just outside NYC - was an easy trip on the train/subway into the city. I always had money because I was a hard worker, and at every opportunity I enjoyed playing with it. I spent money like crazy and had a lot of fun.
At this time I had absolutely no interest in school, much to my parents chagrin. I was skipping school and basically failing all my classes, even though they were easy for me. I simply had no vision of my future self.

我敢肯定和其他人的故事相比，我的故事不是那么动人。然而，这个故事是真实的，并且是我变得成熟的基础。
我是一个非常狂野的少年，住在纽约市郊。可以坐火车或者地铁去市区，因为我挺有钱，我一有机会就会去玩。我疯狂地花钱，玩得很开心。
在这个时候，我对学习一点都不感兴趣，尽管这些课程很容易，但我还是逃学了，基本上所有课程都不及格。因为我对自己的未来没有任何规划。

There was a certain girl in school - a good girl. She came from a good family and got good grades. She was exceptionally pretty - all my friends and I were afraid to even talk to her because we just knew she was out of our league. She was my secret crush through several other girlfriends for over a year and a half.

学校里面出现了另一个很棒的女孩子。她的家庭条件很好，她的成绩也很好。她特别漂亮，我和我所有的朋友甚至都不敢跟她说话，因为我们都知道他和我们不是一类人。一年半以来，虽然我谈了女朋友，但是她一直是我的暗恋对象。

Anyway, I finally got up the nerve to approach her and ask her for her number. I couldn't believe she gave it to me. I called and asked her out - can't remember what it was I asked her to do - something simple like go for a walk after her softball game. We started seeing each other. There was definitely a mutual attraction, although we didn't do much beyond holding hands (maybe a kiss - can't really remember anymore). Anyway, it was an amazing several weeks for me. We began talking every night on the phone. One night we had the longest conversation - it was something like 3-4 hours long and when it was over I knew she was the girl for me.

最终，我终于鼓起勇气接近她，向她问电话号码。我简直不敢相信她把号码给了我。我打电话约她出去，我已经记不清楚我约她出去做什么了，应该是一些简单的事情，就像在垒球比赛后去散散步。我们开始约会了。我们肯定是相互吸引的，尽管我们除了牵手没有做其他事情，也许有一个吻，但我真的记不清楚了。无论如何，接下来的几周我都很开心。我们每天晚上打电话。一天，我们大约通话3-4小时，打完电话，我知道这是我的女孩了。

The next day in school, my friend came up to me. He told me that my girlfriend didn't want me to call her anymore. He said that her best friend told him to tell me. I didn't believe it. I needed to hear it from her directly. So after school I approached her - told her what I had heard, and asked if it was true. She said it was.

第二天到学校，我的朋友来找我。他告诉我，我的女朋友不希望我再给她打电话。她说她让她最好的朋友告诉我。我不相信，我想要从她嘴中听到这件事。因此，放学后，我走到她身边，告诉她我所听到的，并问她这是不是真的。她说是的。

I was heartbroken. Devastated.
I don't remember how I got through that week - only memories of pain and sorrow remain. At the end of the week my friends convinced me to go out and drown my sorrows with them. I did - to the point where I fell asleep at a friend's house. This is the story they relayed to me.

我伤透了心。我觉得我的世界瞬间崩塌了。
我不记得我是怎么度过那一周的，只剩下痛苦和悲伤的回忆，一周结束时，我的朋友劝我出去散散心，让我走出悲伤。我出去了，以至于我在朋友家睡着了。

They'd decided they needed to help me, so they called up this girl at her house. They explained how devastated I was, and asked her to explain why everything seemed so great, and the next morning it was over. She said that she was really falling in love with me and her parents and friends staged an intervention of sorts - letting her know she was making a huge mistake. She said they convinced her that I was a total loser, that I had no future, and that she needed to break it off with me immediately since I was only trouble.

他们决定帮帮我，于是他们打电话给了那个女孩。他们对她说我是多么的沮丧，并且她解释了为什么一切看起来都那么好，但是第二天早上就要分手。她说她真的爱上了我，但是她的父母和朋友干预了这段感情，让她觉得她犯了一个大错，他们让她相信了我是一个彻底的失败者，我没有前途，让他认为我是一个麻烦，她必须立刻和我断绝关系。

When they told me that story I went through a range of emotions and a highly unusual revelatory experience where I was able to finally see the future I was headed toward. I accepted that they were correct. I really was headed down the path of utter ruin. I remember going downstairs and telling my parents that I wanted to go live with my grandparents in California, because I didn't believe I could make the changes I needed to while living with my friends.

当他们告诉我这个故事时，我的想法经历了翻天覆地的变化，最终我终于看到了我的未来。我觉得他们说得很对。如果我一直这么下去，我肯定是没有前途的，我想起来，到楼下去告诉父母，我想和我在加利福尼亚的祖父母住在一起，因为我觉得与朋友住在一起时，我不能彻底改变自己。

The end of this story is that I went on to become a straight A student and learned to love learning. This story of love and broken hearts led was the trigger to my changing for (the) good.

这个故事的结尾是，我后来成为了一个优等生，并学会了热爱学习。我的这个爱情故事，帮助我改过自新，成为了一个更好的自己。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Lia Peters, Public Safety (2014-present)
It all started when I was working security at the mall in my city, and at that point I had been there for over a year now. I was quite good at my job, so I along with other senior officers were tasked to take new officers around with us on calls to both participate and learn. A couple days prior, my boss tells me that he hired a new officer, one that didn’t have security experience but had military experience.
Considering the people he’d been hiring prior to this one, I was a little skeptical about whether or not they would just work for a week then quit. So, I took it with a grain of salt and was just excited to train someone new for the team.

我在城市的一家购物中心工作，那时候已经在那边工作了一年了。我的工作非常出色，我的工作之一就是和其他高级管理人员培训新来的管理人员。几天前，我的老板告诉我他聘用了一个新人，一个没有安保经验但有军队经历的新人。
一想到在这之前他招来的人，我有点怀疑他们是否会只工作一周就辞职。所以，我对此持保留态度，只是很高兴能为团队培训新人。

That Saturday finally rolled around, and I just came into the office and had been changing into my uniform before I got on shift. While I was doing so, someone started unlocking the locker room so I called out “someone is in here!” since I primarily worked with males. When I opened the door to see who it was, I saw it was the new officer and I said “I was changing in there!” jokingly, and he said “so what??” back to me jokingly as well. I laughed a little, and my boss introduced me to him and we shook hands. I liked him from the start, he had something dorky yet strong about him.

终于到星期六了，我刚进办公室，立马进更衣室换衣服。当我这么做的时候，有人在解锁更衣室，所以我叫了一声“有人在这里！“因为我主要和男性一起工作。当我打开门看看是谁的时候，我看到是新来的警官，我说“我在里面换衣服！他开玩笑地说“那又怎样？”我笑了一下，老板向他介绍了我，我们握了握手。我从一开始就喜欢他，他有一种呆呆的但是很坚定的气质。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

The longer time went on and I was tasked to do lockup with him every night, I noticed that although I thought he was attractive, there was just this protective quality about him that drew me to him. However, I didn’t want to get involved only because I have dated a coworker before and it wasn’t too smart of me. But, while he could have left since I was the last to leave every night, he always stayed and did my final lockup with me and we would just talk and talk. At this point I knew he was interested, and despite my attempts to not be tempted, we shared a hug that set our hearts on fire one of those closing nights. We almost kissed, but both became so bashful we left it at that; it blew my mind it happened, because that’s not something I would do, and certainly not something I thought a manly guy like him would do. The next night after shift, we shared a similar hug, looked into each others eyes, and both went for a kiss that sent me flying. It felt like a first kiss even though it was far from it, and there were sparks stronger than I have ever had with a guy. He was so sweet afterwards getting all bashful and stuttery, hesitating then coming back for another kiss and so on. I can still remember the day so vividly, and from then on we hid it from our jobs but there’s only so much you can hide since we would exchange looks deeper than lust and handle calls together. A couple weeks after he left for another job in another city, I also had put in my 2 weeks notice because I was moving with him and admitted to the affair.

过了很长一段时间，我每天晚上都要和他一起关门，我注意他很有魅力，他的绅士行为吸引了我。然而，我不想谈恋爱，因为我以前和一个同事约会过，并且我认为那不是一个明智的决定。但是，因为我每晚都是最后一个离开的，他总是留下来陪我锁门直到最后，我们会在这期间聊天。我知道他对我感兴趣，尽管我试图不受诱惑，我们还是拥抱了一下，我们的心在一个夜晚燃烧了起来。我们差点就要接吻了，但两人都变得很害羞，我们就这样离开了；这让我大吃一惊，因为这不是我想要的，当然我也觉得像他这样的男子汉不会做这种事情，第二天晚上下班后，我们又像前天一样拥抱，看着对方的眼睛，我们吻了一下，这让我感觉飞了起来，这感觉就像初吻，尽管我的初吻已经过去很久了，但我感觉我们之间的火花比我之前的任何一段关系都要强烈，和他在一起太甜蜜了，他变得害羞和结巴，犹豫了一下我们又继续拥吻，我仍然记得那一天，从那时起，我们就在工作之余偷偷恋爱，但是随着时间发展，我们是藏不住的，因为我们的眼神已经藏不住了，几个星期后，他离开去另一个城市工作，两个星期后我也提交了申请，我和他一起搬家了，并承认了我们的恋情。

When I met him he was homeless and living in his car, smoked weed and didn’t want to be with another girl and would rather be alone. When he met me I was an uptight hopeless romantic, carried no appreciation for recreational anything, that only had one true committed love:my career. He saw me and fell apart, he even told me that day he went to his friend whom he was homeless with and just gushed over me more than he ever did over a girl. I wouldn’t consider someone with that descxtion any other day no matter their looks, but I was so enamored by who he was that I wasn’t just dismissive. Today, we are now married and just as in love with each other as those first days of knowing we existed.

我见到他时，他无家可归，住在车里，抽大麻，宁愿一个人待着也不愿意和另外一个女孩子在一起，当他遇见我的时候，我是一个极度绝望的浪漫主义者，对任何娱乐活动任何事物都不感兴趣，我当时唯一的真爱是我的事业。他看到我就崩溃了，他告诉我那天他去找他无家可归的朋友，一直滔滔不绝的谈论我，他以前从来没有对任何一个女孩子这样过。不管他长相怎么样，原本我是不会考虑说这种话的人，但是我被他迷住了，所以我没有不屑一顾。如今，我们结婚了，和我们刚认识彼此时一样相爱。