I Don't Understand Asian Self-Hatred At All


Growing up in a small town in the South during late 90s/early 2000s, I faced racism all the time. Got beaten up on the first week of kindergarten, beer bottles thrown at me while I'm mowing, rednecks almost driving my family off the road TWICE, etc. etc.. I'd get into fights so often that I'd bike over to their house and challenge them, because I couldn't wait to fight them at school. I still have a mangled finger, cut eyebrow, visible cut on on skull, two chipped teeth, and other multiple scars and I have proof if wanted. Just plain nasty, hateful, trashy people and bad memories I can't forget. The hardest part was seeing my immigrant dad always coming home from work angry because of workforce discrimination, and it pains me to this day knowing my old man endured so his kids could have a better future.


But because of all this, my dad always pushed us hard to be better than all the American kids. Unlike other Asian parents, he was't narrow-minded and understood intellect wasn't enough to prove the false notion of racial superiority wrong. You have to beat racists in every area that they feel superior, so you need to be well-rounded. Asian men also need masculine physical prowess and social skills to succeed. So he'd tailor our diets, make us work out, allowed us to play with other kids, and stress "inner beauty" over appearance, etc. That's why today, my brothers and I are all relatively successful career-wise, socially, physically, we've all "beat" our dad - we've wrestled, played rugby, and tower over our 5''4" Asian dad at ~5''11" 180lbs. What I'm saying is, all that racism we faced became a constant reminder over our heads to beat racists and prove them wrong. It became fodder for our growth. It made me even more proud of being Asian because I didn't want to be on their side.

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This is why I don't understand Asian self-hatred in the slightest bit. If people are racist, why does it make you hate yourself? Why are you doing their bidding? Why are you joining in on your own mockery? Why don't you want to counteract their false belief of racial superiority? Hating yourself is choosing to step on your dignity because you were too much a coward to fight back. You chose to believe the propaganda of your oppressors. And your racist oppressors aren't going to lift their foot off the pedal because you kowtowed to them. In fact, they'll walk over you even more. They'd actually respect you more if you fought back.


I don't see Black people hate being Black because of White racism. In fact, they double-down on Black pride. Why are most Asians such weak-minded, passive pushovers?