有哪些中国社会可以被接受但在日本却令人恐惧的事？

Karl Stefan (孙天福), lived in China (2013-2017)
upxed Feb 13, 2019

（可口可乐的广告，一家人一起吃饭，两个孩子夹到了同一块肉）

I took this picture in China. It was on the wall of a restaurant at my university.

我在中国得到了这张图片。它曾贴在我大学周围一个饭店的墙上。

Notice how two people are using chopsticks to grab the same piece of food (and perhaps share it)? That’s okay in China —albeit a little casual as far table manners go— but you NEVER do that in Japan, and you certainly never have a giant picture of the deed taking up an entire wall in your restaurant.

请注意来两个人是如何使用筷子夹同一块食物的（大概是分享它）？这在中国是可以的，尽管就餐桌礼仪而言可能有点随意。但是你在日本绝不可以这样做，而且绝对不要在你餐厅的墙上贴一张占据整面墙的图片。

An Introduction to Japanese Chopstick Etiquette

一个关于日本筷子礼仪的介绍

“Another “deadly” mistake is to share food by passing it with your chopsticks, and having another person take it with theirs. This taboo is also funeral-related. At funerals in Japan, the 
bone fragments of the deceased are passed from person to person with a pair of chopsticks. ”

另一致命错误在于通过你的筷子分享食物，同时还有其他人夹起来分享给另外的人。这种禁忌与日本葬礼有关。在日本葬礼上，死者的碎骨被人们用一双筷子在相互相之间传递。

So using chopsticks to pass food is reminiscent of a Japanese funeral. I discovered this taboo while eating at a restaurant one time in China with a Japanese friend. In Chinese restaurants, people often share a few dishes in the center of the table, and everyone uses their chopsticks to grab what they want, and sometimes use chopsticks to casually pass food to others at the table. If you’re with a Japanese person in this environment (which is foreign to both of you) and you don’t know Japanese chopstick etiquette, you’re basically set up for failure.

所以使用筷子给别人夹食物会令人联想起日本葬礼。我是与日本朋友在饭店吃饭的时候发现这个禁忌的。在中国饭店内，人们经常分享一些桌子中心的佳肴，每个人都用筷子夹他们自己想吃的，而且有时在桌上还很随意的给其他人夹吃的。如果你与一个日本在这样的情境中而且你不知道日本的筷子礼仪，你已经可以为失败以后的事做准备了。

So at one point we both nearly grabbed the same piece of food in the center of the table. My friend, Maika, recoiled in terror. But I didn’t see anything wrong with the food. We both spoke 
beginning-level Chinese at the time and didn’t know each other’s languages, so the conversation went like this:

回到我们几乎同时夹到同一块食物的情景。我的朋友Maika害怕的缩回了筷子。但是我并没有发现食物有什么问题。于是有了以下对话：

    Me: “A problem… is there a problem?”

    我：有什么问题吗？

    Maika: “Culture conflict! Culture conflict!”

    Maika：文化冲突，文化从冲突！

    Me: “With Japan?”

    我：和日本？

    Maika: “In Japan, we use chopsticks to move dead people!”

    Maika：在日本，我们用筷子来移动死者。

    Me: “…dead people? Like, after someone dies, you use chopsticks to move them?”

    我：死者？就好像人死后你们用筷子来移动他们？

    Maika: “We put them into a fire first, then use chopsticks to move them.”

    Maika：我们先把他们扔进火里，然后才用筷子移动。

    Me: “Ummmmm…”

    我：Ummmmm…

So after scrambling through our Chinese dictionaries, my Japanese friend was finally able to get across that chopsticks are used to pass around the cremated remains of someone during a funeral ritual, much like someone in China might casually pass food around at the dinner table. Who would’ve guessed?

经过长篇大论之后我的日本朋友终于可以理解在日本筷子被用于移动死者火化后遗留的碎骨，就像在中国人们晚餐餐桌上夹食物。谁能想得到呢？

Edit: Some commenters have advised against doing this in China. My personal observation from living in China is that if it is a very casual occasion with your peers or good friends, then it is 
socially acceptable.

编辑：一些评论建议在中国不要这么做。就我个人来到中国后的观察而言，当你和你的同事或是朋友在很随意的场合时这样做是没问题的。

Kang-Lin Cheng, studied at University of California, Irvine (2012)
陈康林，加利福尼亚大学学习，尔湾（尔湾是美国加利福尼亚州橘郡（橙县）的一个城市，由著名建筑师William Pereira规划设计 [1]  , 于1971年12月28日建市。她坐落于橘郡中部，主要居民是中上阶层家庭。尔湾总面积180.5平方公里，根据2010年人口普查结果，尔湾市共有212,375人，拉丁裔占一成，亚太裔占近四成，其中多为华裔、韩裔。尔湾平均家庭年收入为92663美元---百度百科）

Noise: this is probably the biggest and most obvious example that you will notice right away between Chinese and Japanese. Noise is a part of life in China; Chinese people shun the silence. Everywhere you go, people will be talking in extremely loud volumes: from shouting into their cellphones, to the aunties playing loud music in the parks until late at night. In Japan, noise is considered to be a nuisance, so it’s very quiet. Nobody talks on the trains in Japan, and you are suppose to even silence your phone when you are around a crowded place (like on the train).

噪音：这可能是你可以立马明显感受到中日之间不同的例子。 噪音是中国生活的一部分。 中国人不喜欢过于沉默。
无论你走到哪里，都可以听到人们在大声交谈：对着手机喊叫：阿姨们在公园里大声的播放音乐直到晚上才结束。 在日本，制造噪音被认为是令人厌恶的行为，所以人们都保持安静。 在日本，没有人在火车上说话，甚至在类似火车上这样人多的地方还需要让手机静音。

Driving erratically: If you obey the traffic laws in China, you will never get to anywhere. People will just cut you off. The streets of Chinese cities never stop honking. Pedestrians are required to give way to cars no matter what. In contrast to Japan, Japanese drivers are arguably the best drivers I’ve come across (even better than American and Canadian drivers). During my week stay in the heart of Tokyo, I’ve never heard honking even once. When I give way to Japanese drivers, they would always look apologetic and bow to me, which I found amusing.

乱开车：如果你遵守中国的交通法那你哪也去不了。人们会加塞堵住你的路。中国城市街道的喇叭声此起彼伏。无论什么灯行人都需要给汽车让路。日本正相反，日本的司机可以说是我见过的最好的司机了（即使与美国和加拿大的司机相比）。我在东京市中心待的那一周一次喇叭声都没听到过。当我给日本司机让路时，他们总是表示歉意并向我鞠躬，这让我觉得很有趣。

Not being polite to anyone, but treating everyone on equal grounds: In China, there is no social hierarchy. You would talk to your seniors, boss, customers, etc. in all the same tone that you would talk to your friends. Nobody bows or uses honorifics to anyone. In Japan, your social position is crucial to how you should interact with and how others should interact with you. In Japan, you can request someone to bow to you in a certain way or address you using certain honorifics; in Chinese society, you never tell someone to bow to you or speak in honorifics, as both are seen as extremely humiliating and degrading to a person’s dignity.

不需要对所有人都礼貌，但是要平等的对待所有人。在中国，没有社会阶层。你可以用同样的态度对待你的前辈，老板，顾客等，就像和你的朋友说话一样。不需要对任何人鞠躬或使用敬语。在日本，你的社会地位决定了你该如何对待其他人以及其他人改用什么样的态度对你。在日本你可以明确要求某个人向你鞠躬或使用敬语。在中国社会中，你永远不要对某个人说要对你鞠躬或使用敬语，这些行为被认为是极度的屈辱以及对个人尊严的践踏。

Japan has a lot more social pressures than China does. In Japan, there is this concept of “hito no me”, which means “other people’s eyes”. If you do something wrong or stupid in public, the other Japanese people will stare down at you, making you feel intensely uncomfortable, until you stop. In China, if you stare someone down while they do something stupid, they will never stop. You have to openly confront them and be very straightforward with: “You’re being stupid,” or “You’re wrong, you need to do this instead”.

日本比中国社会的压力更大。日本有个‘hito no me’的概念，意思是说其他人的视线。当你在公共场合做了错误或很傻的事，其它日本人就会注视着你让你感到强烈不适，直到你停下来他们才会移开目光。但是在中国如果你在他们做傻事时盯着他们，他们并不会停下来。你必须公开直接了当的告诉他们：“你正在做蠢事”或者是“你做错了，你应该这么做。。。”

In China, people value cheap prices over quality; in Japan, people value quality over cheap prices. My car mechanic once complained to me that his Chinese customers who have bad brakes will tell him to replace the bad brakes with a used brake rather than to replace them with new brakes, for no other reason other than to save some money. My mechanic emphasized in all his years of being a mechanic, only Chinese people would ask him to do something like this.

在中国相比于质量人们更重视低价格，日本则相反。我的汽车机械师曾抱怨那些刹车坏掉的中国顾客对他说与其换新的不如换二手的刹车，没有什么比省钱更重要了。我的维修人员在他的职业生涯中反复强调只有中国人让他做这样的事。

Chinese women are very career-oriented, while Japanese women are more likely to be housewives. I do not know of any Chinese woman who is a housewife, even after having kids. In Japan, not even Prime Minister Abe Shinzo’s wife could continue her career after marriage. Also, Japanese female members of the Imperial Family must give up their royal status if they were to marry; although China no longer has an emperor, this concept is still baffling to Chinese.

中国的女性很重视她们的工作，而日本女性更可能成为家庭主妇。我所认识的中国女性没有一个是家庭主妇，即使她们已经有了孩子。在日本，即使是安倍首相的夫人婚后也不再继续她的工作。同时日本皇家女性成员婚后要放弃皇家身份。而在中国由于没有了皇帝，所以他们对此并没有什么概念。

Staying on the topic of women, Chinese women never change their surnames after marriage; Japanese women must change their surnames. I first noticed this when watching anime, when a female character said, “My last name is not even important since I’m a woman.” Another time, after a girl got married, her parents called her husband, and the husband responded with his last name; the in-laws responded by, “there are now two of you with that last name.” In traditional Chinese culture, a woman was considered her father’s property before marriage, and her husband’s property after marriage. Yet, what’s interesting is that despite all the sexism in traditional Chinese culture, not once in the 5000 years of Chinese civilization did it ever occur to any Chinese person’s mind that a woman should abolish her maiden name after marriage.

还是关于女性的话题，中国女性婚后无需改姓，日本则是必须改。我是在看动漫的时候注意到这件事的，一个女性角色说：“生为女性，连我的姓氏都不重要。”另一部动漫中一个女孩结婚后她的父母给她的丈夫打电话，丈夫回了姓氏，然后亲家说：“现在你们俩有同样的姓氏了。”在传统中国文化中，女性婚前是父亲的附属，婚后是丈夫的附属。然而有趣的是尽管充满对女性的歧视，但是五千年文明历史中中国人从没有人为女性婚后需要丢掉原先的姓氏。
（注：这家伙看文字不像是留学生，这段话更像是打汉字用机器翻译的。）